Greg Larsen’s Surprise Birthday Party feat. Greg Larsen

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Hello everyone, welcome to this very exciting episode of Auntie Donna, where it's Greg Larson's birthday party.

That's right, Zach and Broden have made a surprise birthday party for Greg.

Let's see how it goes.

If you'd like to watch the visuals, which are relatively important towards the end of this episode, go to the Auntie Donna Club powered by Patreon.

Just a little warning on this one, this little birthday episode.

It does involve

references to really offensive words and

also implied horrific violence.

So just a heads up there if you're listening with the kiddos.

Have a good one.

Well, here we are at Greg Larson's house.

Me and Broden are here.

Can you turn that down a little bit?

Greg Larson's house.

Me and Broden are here.

I'm so excited.

We've put on Greg's favorite Christmas music because it's Greg's birthday.

But shh, shh, shh, because he doesn't know that we've planned him a surprise birthday.

That's right.

We've put out bowls of chips and party pies and Footy Franks skin on.

And when he gets home, he's going to have the shock of a lifetime.

We invited all of his friends, but it is a busy time of year coming up to Christmas.

Couldn't make it.

They couldn't make it.

They do love him, though.

They do love him.

Oh, here he is.

He's coming up the driveway now.

Oh, geez.

I'm about to come home.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, I've got to cut up this dead body.

I can't believe I just fucking killed

what I thought was a toddler, but turned out to be an 80-year-old Carney

from

the Royal Melbourne show.

I've run him over in my car and

I put him in the boot.

I didn't know what to do.

I panicked.

Hey!

Happy birthday, Greg.

Hey, Greg.

What's that, deaf kid?

There's one thing I can promise you.

There's no dead kid here.

Okay.

Thank God.

Because that looks a lot like a dead kid.

Just leave it, Zach.

If you look closer, you'll see that he's actually like fucking 80.

Okay.

Hey.

It from a distance, it looks like a kid.

I'm going to need you guys to not go anywhere right now.

Yeah.

Can I just

hang on a sec?

I just opened this wall safe that I got here

and pull out this.

Now, this is a gun.

And I'm not going to hurt you.

No, I know.

No.

I'm not going to hurt you.

Yeah.

I'm not going to hurt either of you.

Just take it easy.

Just take it easy.

i i'm i'm absolutely taking it easy i'm taking it we're all taking it easy here and i'm not gonna i'm i'm not gonna say anything no one's gonna fucking get shot

as long as we just but like i i i will i will just walk away from here and never mention this again i promise

mate that's that's that's that ship has sailed all right okay you guys you guys you guys are all you guys are involved and like it's gonna be all right

like i'm gonna need your help okay and like i don't you know i don't want to kill anyone else yeah so you did kill that guy i did i did kill that guy okay okay now the thing is if you guys help me get rid of the body then we are all in it together that's and that's all we need to do that's all we need to do i just i'm worried that you're gonna kill us after we help you get rid of i'm not gonna kill you after like Honestly,

he's a small little carnie.

I could get rid of this body myself, myself, and I was going to.

I was going to get rid of the body myself.

Yeah?

Yeah.

So I don't need your help.

I'm asking.

Can you put the gun down while you're talking?

I can't put the gun down, mate.

Understand.

I just can't put the gun down.

I hope you understand my position on this.

Yeah.

And

what happened to the music?

We were having fun.

Let's get the music back up again.

Oh, the gun, when you got the gun in.

It's still my birthday.

We're having fun here, aren't we?

This is a surprise birthday.

Don't be so upset.

Smile a little bit.

We got you some party pies.

Yeah, yeah, cool, cool.

Do you smile too, Brayden?

Start smiling a bit.

Do you want us to talk you through the spread?

Yeah, please.

I'd love to hear about this spread.

Oh, boy.

We got you some party pie sausage rolls.

Yep.

It's not my favorite kind of sausage roll, but it came in a two-pack with the party pies.

Cool, cool, cool.

In my opinion, they're too small.

Like, you can't, they're too small to be called sausage rolls.

Yeah.

Broden brought some pastits pastitzis what's a pastitzi it's like a hellenic pastry oh yeah with sort of i don't like stuff like that okay that's okay that's okay that's why we got the party pies you got party pies as well hand me a party pie sure get one for yourself eat it so and have a good time you eat a party pie as well broden

they have a fun time they're a bit hot still yeah they're

They're hot, but like it's a cold, it's a cold winter's day.

It's you know, it's November, December.

Yeah.

Well, it's not December.

It's November.

It's my birthday but i love christmas as you know this is not hello

i didn't i didn't even thought this was at the birthday party was going to go okay so i managed the other thing is before before the machete band came in i managed to stock up on machetes okay um i'm gonna need um

uh zach yeah smile don't fucking don't frown no frowns at my party

i need you to go and get two machetes right where are the machetes they're in the basement okay there's a cupboard that says greg's machetes okay yeah oh god okay yeah and i'll like you got to go down there and i'll i'll i will kill broden if you don't come back with the machetes right so please don't come back with the machetes so it's up to you whether you want broden to die or not like that's up to you okay okay so go get the machetes how long do i have you have

well i don't know 30 seconds it's like literally just there okay the door's just there walk down the basement get the machete the machetes out of the cupboard.

What are you doing?

We're going to chop up this carnie.

Okay.

Specifically, you're going to chop up the carnival.

I've already killed him.

I've done the crime.

I just wanted to have a birthday party for my friend.

And we are having a fun birthday party, aren't we?

Yeah.

Broden, put a party pie in the carnie's mouth.

He can't eat it.

Yeah, I know, but it looks fun.

Put a funny hat on him.

He can't eat that.

Put a funny hat on him.

Put a fucking funny hat on him.

Okay.

Yeah.

There you go.

we're having fun get the machetes okay the cupboard's called greg's machetes

i'm gonna there's a little window in the machete no there's a little window no zach i'm gonna run but i'm gonna come back with help i promise oh no zach please he's gonna he's gonna shoot me

i just heard you say there's a little window you you are literally next to me yeah yeah i'm sorry man i'm

Like, I don't know what you thought was going to happen when you said that.

I just, I don't know.

I'm really joking, man.

He's just joking around because it's a bird.

He was nominated for the 2012 Gibbo.

He's a funny man.

Yeah, nominated for the Gibbo.

Lost

Gibbo 2014.

Lessons with Lewis.

Whatever happened to Lessons with Lewis?

They did stuff with Tony Martin.

Oh, he fired off a ground.

Oh, no.

This gun's just a nerf gun.

Oh,

thank God.

And then, and then, then I did a karate kick into Greg's face, knocking him immediately unconscious.

Now, now, now, now now

then we tie him up but before we go and go and get the police I have a plan it's time for Greg to get his just desserts hit it 20 minutes later Greg awakes up

oh that karate kick really knocked me for six Hey to reference a cricket term cricket term yeah

hey not a boundary of a boundary but and it went over without touching the surface

Why am I all tied up?

Greg,

we could have gone to the police.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And they would have punished you for this murder.

But we realized something.

They wouldn't have punished you for ruining this birthday party we went to all this effort for.

Can I just say it was manslaughter, not murder?

Oh, okay.

I don't really care.

All I care about is the fact that you ruined our party.

So we've decided we're going to slowly torture you to death.

This is not how I expected this to go.

I fucking agreed, man.

Okay, all right, all right.

Can I just say, guys?

Yeah.

Look,

I really don't want you.

I'm really scared about being tortured.

I'm really scared about it.

And like,

I was threatening to kill you.

I do admit that.

But I was like, if I was going to kill you, and I was going to let you go if you chopped up the carni,

but like, if I was going to kill you, it would have been like just, I would have shot you, you know?

Like, I'm really scared about being tortured.

We went to so much effort, bro.

I got pastitsis.

I got party pies.

I got all these lollies and chocolates.

Gregs, you a fan of Thirsty Merck, mate?

The band?

No,

the man who hasn't had a drink in a while.

Yes, Thirsty Merck.

There was a,

I think it was a Lano and Woodley sketch, or I think it was maybe just Woodley, when he said he misunderstood the lyrics to Thirsty Merck,

and when it said, everyone stand and point your fingers at Spirit.

That's Black Fingernails, Red Wine by Eskimo Joe, Greg.

Greg, why are we talking about ABC panel show Spinx and Specs?

No,

there's someone, I think it was Laino from Woodley.

No, Woodley from...

Frank Woodley.

No, I think it was Frank Woodley that said he thought the lyric was, I don't understand the point of fingers.

Yeah, but that was for Eskimo Joe's song, Black Fingernails, Red Wine.

What's Thirsty Merc?

Thirsty Merc is they did in the summertime.

They did 20 Good Reasons, which is what I was going to sing right now.

So tell me, baby, why, why, why, why

should we let you go?

I don't think I've heard this song.

Give us 20 good reasons

not to torture you.

We're going to slowly torture you to death.

You don't know.

20 good reasons.

You don't know 20 good reasons.

No, I know that song.

Now that you get to, once you got to give me 20 good reasons.

But then also they did.

Were they going to take me back to the sweet times, the hard night?

Summertime is going to be all right in the summertime.

And the lady's time.

Lazy in the summertime.

That's where I'll be.

Were they around when I was working at Wow, Sight and Sound?

When were you working at Wow Sight and Sound?

I would say 2005, 2004, 2005.

Yeah, that's around that time.

2005 and 2006 is when Thirsty Merck were kings of this country.

Because it was around the time that Black Eyed Peas had that song

that

you don't have to say it.

What's it called now?

It's now, it's called Let's Get It Started.

Yeah.

And I think it's strange that they sort of almost retconned the song.

You know what I mean?

Like there was the album version and there was the single version.

If you were to walk up to Will I Am Now and say,

you used to call this song let's get the other word.

I wonder if he would admit that.

My question is, can you say it, I guess, academically in the sense that we're referring to a thing that, a song title?

Like, like, for example, you know, the other day when Trump swore.

The other month, yeah.

The other month, yeah, months ago.

We're not banking these.

Yeah.

When he said fuck,

you know, you could say, oh, he said fuck.

Yeah, like the journalist.

But I guess you can say fuck.

Anyone can say fuck.

No, I think so.

Yes, I think if we had to convey the name of the song for academic purposes, yes.

This is

a form of surprise party where we're torturing you to death.

Yeah.

So I don't prefer to use it.

I'd prefer to use that.

But then there's the issue that that word legitimately has real use in other things and is used

like.

Yeah.

And I will, i will oh i feel i feel weird because it's like even though but if you're on a plane that word is said by the cockpit that yeah the machine the robot says the robot says it and and also you would say it about um there's an episode of the simpsons where um nelson holds a can and he says the r word like like it contains preservatives to our word spoilage yeah absolutely also um if you're getting really crunk and the party's awesome and you want to just get really crazy that's a way you could describe it.

I don't think so.

I think that's the reason.

The Black-Eyed Peas, I believe that's what the song's about, Zach.

So you would say it's inappropriate to use.

Well, yes, I mean, but it's interesting.

It's interesting the way that language changes.

I mean, Greg is still tied up here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And again,

I want to circle back around to you torturing me and not torturing me.

Oh, we will, absolutely.

And I just, so just to paint an image, the dead Carney is next to Greg.

Yeah.

Greg is tied up, very bloodied already, like a lot of blood flew from that kick.

Yeah, there's instruments of torture.

My nose is busted.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

And his white shirt pouring out red.

The art department's done a beautiful job on like filling your beard with red.

And the shirt is like more red than white now.

Yeah.

But there's instruments of torture on the table and all of the party food has been shoved to the side.

In a pile, yeah.

But the art department has also done a really good job of maintaining the party vibe, even though it's gone to torture.

The irony, the imagery is going to look great.

It makes it more sinister in a lot of ways.

But we're talking about

2005 pop music.

And the R word specifically.

And I was just saying, you know, and again, like, it's not a way to

say, like, to justify the use of any word or anything like that.

But I'm saying it's interesting how language evolves when at one point that was the appropriate word to use.

Yeah.

As were like other words, and they become a pejorative slang term,

but like, and it makes you wonder what words we say now that are the correct words to use, not in just in that area, but in all

areas of our life, what words at some point will sort of become pejorative and be used in a way that is offensive, you know, and it might even be the most innocuous things.

And I'm not saying that that's a justification.

That's not me going, oh, you shouldn't go woke and all that.

It's just a simple academic.

language is a living organism.

Exactly, exactly.

It's just interesting to me.

The pattern

to make a word,

you know, the socially acceptable word used by everyone.

I've thought about this often, Greg.

This idea that you take a word that is, you know, this is the word we prefer as a community, as a group, and then by making it more,

by getting it.

more broadly used throughout the society at some point

when that campaign is successful enough the people that speak ill of that community the people that dismiss that community the people that by the very nature of talking about that community will turn that word into a into a prerogative

word yeah

that it's the very campaign to make the word used in common parlance that eventually turns it into the negative word.

Exactly.

And something that I find interesting, it is actually...

Oh, oh my hand yeah i chopped off his hand

what were you saying greg i ah just yeah what i find interesting yeah sorry i'm just i'm just holding i'm preventing the blood before i pass out from the blood loss a lot of the swear words that we use today like fuck shit piss cunt right a lot of those words we'll be right back after this ad break by the way

So as I was saying, fuck shit, piss, cunt.

Like words like that, a lot of those words actually date back to Old English and Middle English, simply just the normal terms to refer to.

Do you have a favorite one of the, you know, the etymology of a word?

Do you have a favorite where it comes from?

Well, I mean,

there is one, and I think, but again, it's one of those words where I don't want to say.

Yeah.

You know, but the, um,

but

I'll refer back to like cunt, for example, and fuck and piss and shit.

These are English words and of Germanic origin that was simply not a swear word or an offensive word, simply the,

at least a derivative.

Sorry, my hands

are bleeding out.

But

I guess the old derivative of that word was just a normal word you would use to describe that thing.

You know, the shit.

You would say shit.

And that's not a swear word or offensive way to describe it.

And at some point,

English gentry, you know, the lordly people thought Latin is a better word, like is a better, it sounds less coarse to refer to genitals, for example, by their Latin name rather than their Germanic origin.

One I find really interesting is the opposite.

Sorry, I'm gonna, what I'm gonna do now, firstly,

I'm going to just take this knife, yeah, and I'm gonna shove it in your spine so you become a paraplegic initially.

I'll do it lower.

Oh,

there we go.

Um, shit,

you were saying, sorry, yeah, no, I was saying, um,

sorry, man.

Sorry, ah,

It's alright.

That hurts.

Yeah.

But your legs are not hurting anymore.

Yeah, that's true.

Fuck.

I find it interesting when it goes the other way.

So, for example, the words, the term rock and roll was originally a rude term referring to sex, rocking and rolling in the bed.

It was a youth term and it was an offensive term.

And then it was used to describe pejoratively the style of music that people would listen to, the way they moved their hips when they listened to that style of music.

It sounds like rock and roll music.

It sounds like sex music to the point that step by step by step, that word A lost any connection to that original meaning and B lost any of its offensiveness.

That's very interesting.

Same with jazz.

Jazz came initially.

Europe?

Yeah, no, it's just my spine.

Yeah.

Jazz came from jizz.

Did it?

Did it?

Like, like in what in what way?

Jazz, jizz.

You don't have to, like, it's fine if you're not,

you know, if you don't know a lot about language and etymology and the, and the, I know, heats.

The etymology of the English language and of,

you know, pejorative terms and things like that.

It's fine.

Like, you don't have to be in every conversation.

There's lots of things that people can learn.

I don't know a lot about football, for example.

Exactly, exactly.

I know a lot about football.

If you were talking about footy, I wouldn't weigh in with like, oh, yeah, old Jimmy Kickerball, you know.

like, Jimmy Kickerball, like, exactly.

Like, there's no, as far as I'm aware, there's no footy player called Jimmy Kicker.

Jimmy Kicker is a Jimmy Kickerball, but

really, why, Jimmy Kickerball and Jimmy Kickerball Jr.

Can I just, I've actually just seen a silver lining to you doing the spine here.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

You can know

now,

I actually can rest easy that there's no

CBT on the cards for me with this torture.

Cock and ball torture.

Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

CBT.

Yeah, CBT.

It's a sexual term.

People will do it.

I know, I know.

Cock and ball torture will happen.

I think

it can consensually happen.

Certainly, I wouldn't have considered it, but I haven't.

This torture that's happening now, you've cut off my nose.

Your preference.

Yeah, I'm not into this.

But, you know, as we say, this is a unique situation.

I have killed a carnie.

I've held you at gunpoint.

But I think what's emerging here, what emerged pretty early on in this plot twist

is that, um, well, you know, who is the real villain?

Who is the real psychopath?

That kind of notion, you know.

Roles reverse.

It's moved far past revenge at this point.

Yeah.

Um, you know, and I think that's kind of what we were going for here, you know.

I think in all the marketing material, you were shown to be the villain.

Yeah.

You've seen Psycho Hitchcock.

Yeah.

You know, that film, when you look at all the

first 20, 30 minutes, it's.

And all the marketing, she was top build.

What's her name?

Janet Lee.

Janet Lee is

a thriller about this woman

robbing and running.

Yeah, absolutely.

And I think that's a sense is you were going to be the villain.

We were going to be the...

I mean, when it played at Sundance, people didn't even know it was a thriller.

Some of them, they thought it was just about a birthday.

Well, that's like when

I saw Snowtown, I thought it was like, oh, yeah, this guy's going to come in and get all these pedophiles.

No.

And he did, didn't he?

Well.

Sorry,

I'm the stupidest viewer of films imaginable.

So I saw that film

and I just thought, yeah, get the pedos.

So you thought it was like a Marvel movie, basically.

Yeah, basically, I thought it was about good guys and bad guys.

I see everything in terms of good guys and bad guys.

Good guys and bad guys.

So Snowtown is a complicated

storytelling of one of Australia's worst serial killers.

So I'm like the kind of guy.

I'm the worst example of the reason comedians haven't been allowed to do irony for the past 15 years.

I'm that guy.

Yeah, yeah.

You're the reason that we can't even

say the word that we're referring to.

Because of me.

Because I would be like, oh, I see that as tacit approval to go screaming at someone.

You're the reason why I had to get rid of my shirt that had a...

It did have a big swastika on it, but the swastika was crossed out with like Nazis, fuck off, because I hate Nazis.

Yeah.

But people...

People would be like, Nazi, you're a Nazi.

And I'm like, no, I'm not.

It's the opposite.

The reason I had to throw out my CD of Elephant

the album by Black Eyed Peas yeah yeah you have an original elephant oh yeah I have elephant OG track yeah oh yeah I have the original OG track what's that track called

oh we can't say it anymore but it's now called let's get it started I had some friends come back from Edinburgh and say that word is back

really yeah apparently in the UK and the US it's back

I don't think it's ever left.

No.

I think like it's it's I I'll be honest.

I'll say i i hear it all the time i don't want to say it on the podcast but the merc with the mouth said it on deadpool v wolverine who what uh deadpool said it on deadpool v wolverine

what the mouth the merc with the mouth that he because he's in the mouth like i don't like i don't like marvel that if if you're being if i'm being really honest

so again

i like i am tied down i'm i've had my hand cut off i had my my spine This is Deadpool level

violence as well.

Yeah.

Ah, yes.

You know, if there's any cock and ball torture going on, I don't know about it.

But to hear about Marvel movies and have discussions of Marvel movies, that is the ultimate torture for us to be.

I can't stand Marvel movies.

I hate them with every part.

But you know, they're different genres.

Every film is a different genre.

They're all trash.

But like some of them are funny, some of them are dumb.

I've never seen a funny one.

I've never seen an interesting one.

Have you you seen every single one of them?

Eternals, though.

Eternals.

Beautiful.

That's a beautiful

story.

Every Marvel movie is awful.

Just saying the word Marvel makes me want to vomit into my mouth.

But you know how a lot of movies they have one or two hot people and then character actors, ugly, ugly characters.

Yeah, Marvel movies,

they'll have hot people all the way through.

Yeah.

A hot person's cool and then a funny person's cool, but a hot, funny person is perfect.

Yeah.

Can you imagine?

This is what Marvel movies do.

Instead of having having an ugly, funny person.

I guess that's why they call me Mr.

Perfection.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

That's making sense now, won't you?

Yeah, so you're people keep.

That was my nickname all through high school and university.

And

now is Mr.

Perfection.

Sorry, I just shoved a knife in his ear.

Yeah.

Mr.

Perfection.

I've known you, Greg, for probably close to 15 years.

That's a blunt butter knife.

I just shoved it in.

I was just 15 years.

It It would be.

Well, I reckon.

10 at least.

At least.

No, more than 10.

No, we've known you for easily like 12, 13 years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I reckon I know the day I met you.

Really?

Auntie Donna

OG lineup

before you replaced Mark.

We went to Sydney Comedy Festival for our first

shows.

And we got up in a room before our show

at the factory

and you were on and you did and i think becky lucas was backstage and henry stone

you met him before then you met him during um

when he was in uh skills in time

i would have been that like i was in skills in time from the beginning of comedy for me my first memory of you is reading out a poem called come come come in my bum bum bum that was a yeah that's funny that was a poem i used to do come poems

I can't remember what the other.

That would have been 2013.

Yeah, there was one.

What was it?

It was cum is a kind of

cum is a kind of sticky juice that comes out from your balls.

Cum makes babies.

Cum makes life.

Come.

I can't remember the rest of it.

That's funny.

But I can't remember it.

Fuck.

I remember.

Come as a kind of sticky muck.

I remember it was

that comes out from your balls.

But that's, I reckon I've known you 12 years.

Wow.

And that sucks that you're, I mean, you haven't actually stabbed me in the ear, but

you're part of this.

I remember one of my earliest memories of, and I knew that I had met you before, all of you before this, but we...

Me and Henry and Sam ran into you through.

Henry Stone and Sam Campbell.

Yeah, Henry Stone and Sam Campbell ran to you guys as we were walking out of a sex shop in Melbourne.

Yeah.

And I remember seeing you and then going, oh, and then you were like busted.

And we were like, yeah, we were buying a dildo.

Because we always had a dildo in all of our shops.

Well, you had to back then.

Yeah.

That was the big, big thing.

You have a dildo, and you come out and you just say the R word over and over again.

Was it crazy to me?

We never did that.

Where the knife is in his ear, the eye on that side has rolled up completely and is bleeding like tears of blood.

I'm seeing nothing now.

But back then, yeah, you were in a trio trio

called Skills in Time.

A trio.

And I remember meeting Sam Campbell on the streets of Melbourne as well, would have been about 2012.

And he used to have bleach blonde hair.

He did for a period of time, yeah.

Sam Campbell did.

Yeah, and he walked up and went, hey, Arnie Donable, Andy Donner, I love you.

Or you boys, funny boys.

I remember

I saw a show where

you talked about Togs and Prawns.

I think it might have been Sam Campbell talking about Togs.

That sounds like both those things sound like things that Sam and or me and or us would have talked about.

Yeah, togs and prawns.

Togs and prawns.

Togs and prawns.

Another guy.

You got a big boy with the togs and the prawns.

Togs and prawns.

Togs and prawns.

I'm going to just, I'm going to do one more thing now.

I'm going to go to do some like that.

Ah!

Ah!

Greg has stabbed me in the gut.

Yeah.

He got an arm loose.

I got an arm loose and I just stabbed you in the gut with a, with a, with not a knife

a

um

what's it called a steel you know the thing that you sharpen a knife with yes yeah I was wondering what it was and that's why it hurts so much because it was clean

but I still managed to punch her and then

so it hurts even more like bruising and puncturing

congratulations Greg yeah this birthday party was all to teach you a lesson about not letting your birthdays go by

and as you get older it's still a special day for you

yeah Greg

how old are you turning this year

53 53 wow that's crazy and as we get older we want to do less you know we want to celebrate them less and you said no no no I don't want a birthday party yeah that's true I got something on that day yeah but we thought no yeah

We're gonna have the birthday party and then all this is gonna sort of play out.

So does that mean that all this stuff like you chopping off my hand and severing my spine and blinding me and

all that,

does that mean it's some kind of trick and like you'll

somehow magically that won't have happened?

No, no, no.

No, no, no, that's canon.

That's permanent.

I mean, this, I'm pretty sure.

This is Zach's done.

I'm pretty sure.

You hit organs, man.

Yeah, you've been stabbed for sure.

Like, not just stabbed.

I can't see a way of coming back from this.

No.

I think I'm dying but it's classy huh you're being classy yeah oh thank you really what what way would you say

you're being eloquent you're being calm and it's still a great podcast ah and that's i mean that's important i'm glad you noticed that broden because i you know i just i i thought i was yeah yeah you know what i mean like after everything that's happened

And I mean, there's this dead, this dead Carney's still here, and we got to do something with that.

But it's been a pretty good birthday.

Hit it.

Get the music going again.

Zach is fading quick.

Oh, Zach's dying.

But it's still classy, don't you think?

It's a classy day.

It's like

the thing that I am.

Zach is dying.

Yeah, Zach's dying, and it is unfortunate because...

Stay with us, Zach.

Yep.

Yep.

He's been quite classy about it, but also like I'm trying to be polite.

It's when you get that full belly wound there's a smell that you don't expect you know what i mean the stomach acid yeah

is burning yeah like i feel a burning under my skin from the stomach acid this

this is such a viscerally violent birthday yeah

the older you get it's you know you know what i mean just be thankful you're having another one i all i want to say is

happy halloween

because this it could it

if you made this around halloween time when's your birthday second of november so like when's no when's halloween 31st of october oh i would often have halloween themed birthdays zach's gone zach's dead zach is dead and that's canon and also this is true he's out of the the dreamt

He's like,

he's done.

Like, he actually is, it's over.

There's no more Zach.

For the rest of the run in the UK, it will be

Laura Davis.

In the Melbourne run, we're going to get a rolling thing, but Grant Denya for a few nights, we're going to get Larry Emda.

Andrew Keith.

Andrew O'Keefe, they're all going to be Zach.

Because we've lost Zach.

Do you know there's a clip of...

I don't know if I should say this, but...

He's a bad guy.

He's a bad guy.

There's a clip of him saying a very bad word.

Oh, we can't.

Obviously not going to say the word, but there's...

He's a bad...

like yeah he's a sick person i think yeah

uh well greg uh happy birthday thank you well what's that look no nothing it's just it's it's it's an all right it's an all right birthday zach being dead is is is affecting

i thought it would forget the carni

yeah i still i mean to be honest That's the least of my problems right now.

Like, I'm going to die.

Yeah.

Like, these wounds that I've sustained, I'm still, you know, I'm still going along, but I'm going to die.

Zach is of these wounds.

Still dead.

Yeah.

His head's hunched over the listener mic.

Yeah.

What's this?

It's a little fellow.

Oh, hello.

Hello, little fellow.

Who are you?

I'm little Jason.

Little Jason.

Where did you come from?

I came out of Zach's belly.

I'm Jason from Zach's stabbed morbid belly.

I've been living in there for years.

Oh, you're free.

Yeah, I'm free now.

Little Jason's going to run free.

Well, I guess we'll have to have little Jason back another time.

Little Jason, the man in Zach's belly, now free in the city of Melbourne.

Thank you for freeing me.

I'm running off.

You get $1,000 if you spot me.

So right into auntieDonna.com if you spot little Jason.

So you get $1,000 and you get it.

You don't even have to prove that you've seen me.

As long as you say we will call

you,

none of this is true.

If you spot little Jason anywhere in the streets of Melbourne,

well,

we'll see you later.

Happy birthday, Greg.

Thank you.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donor Podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie DonorClub.com.

See you next week.