54. Hatred & Righteous Revenge

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Speaker 3 Hi friends. I'm irritated.
Yes, I have my Bible sitting next to me. This, since coming into my life, has felt like getting struck by lightning.
I don't like it. I do, but I hate it.
This is my Bible.

Speaker 3 It's real sickening. Goat skin, black and gold, nice.
Gold shiny edges. You see? The amount of things that have happened in the past six days.

Speaker 3 I want to bite glass. I want to chew through this door to the balcony right now.
Ooh, irritated. A lot of growth's happened, but it's happened so fast.
I'm like, whoa.

Speaker 3 But it's my last night in Miami. I'm getting hell out of you.

Speaker 3 But there's a lot of things we got to address with me talking about the Bible.

Speaker 3 A lot of people have been up in arms. A lot of people have had a little hair up their ass.
And a lot of people are mad and upset. Oh, I don't care.
Cry.

Speaker 3 A lot of people are thinking like, I've seen a lot of people say, oh, I hope his podcast has not turned into some like holy roller, Bible thumping, like, typical annoying Christian type shit.

Speaker 3 Don't worry. It's never going to be that.
I want to clarify, me going into the Bible to read about it. I'm not interested in the whole culture of any religion right now.

Speaker 3 I'm going in to get my own understanding. And the call that I've felt to read about Jesus has become very, very clear.
There's a lot to get into. So let's just go through it.

Speaker 3 So what I've learned thus far with this Bible. Oh, I want to sling it across the room, but I love it.
This is a hate-love relationship. I don't want this thing around me.

Speaker 3 But I feel like I've opened Vandorva's box. So the first thing that I've kind of realized about Christ consciousness and Jesus and the type of person that he was.

Speaker 3 Everything in the Bible so far is kind of teaching back to the idea of oneness, which I already understand about the universe and my version of God that I have, that i went into this with i'm not just abandoning everything that i know think and feel and have been through and have learned just because the bible is telling me something different it's weirdly confirming everything that i've already learned and known and the overarching theme that i'm noticing

Speaker 3 with actual like applicable steps is

Speaker 3 loving people and loving being

Speaker 3 unconditionally i don't like the idea of unconditional love i'm very conditional with it you're gonna act correct

Speaker 3 But Jesus himself, he loved everybody to the death. Like didn't matter what happened, how much they attacked him, hurt him, anything.
He still loved them. And that is something I cannot fathom.

Speaker 3 So let's just start getting into the story of what's happened and what's gotten me to the point I'm at now. Yes, I'm very frustrated, irritated, but I'm happy.
And I feel very at peace.

Speaker 3 So we all know I follow my soul. I follow what my soul tells me to do.
That requires me paying attention to the way that I feel with things.

Speaker 3 I know when something feels good or bad, right or wrong, intuitive or logical. And it's weird like following my soul has lined up with what is being taught in this book.
And it's a weird confirmation.

Speaker 3 But I started sharing my journey about it on social media. I'm like, oh, I'm reading the baby.
Let's see what I get of it.

Speaker 3 I just felt a weird call to like share it and post TikToks about it and post it on my Instagram. And they've been blowing up and the response has been crazy.

Speaker 3 I've been very excited to call out what everybody's been doing wrong.

Speaker 3 I am. I love it.
The more I get to understand this, the more I know it is the more I can thump people with their own book.

Speaker 3 And if you look at the reaction to me opening a Bible online, these people who claim that they're Christians, full of it. they don't live by nothing in here

Speaker 3 they need to be hit with it a few hundred times like genuinely that's not my cross to bear i don't got to deal with these idiots jesus can come love them for himself god you wanted to make these people okay you love them i don't got to love everybody i don't know i'm working on it i'm learning my own things going at my own pace God can love his little rat ass children.

Speaker 3 Okay. It's not my responsibility.

Speaker 3 That's exactly how I feel in this moment of time. But with the whole like

Speaker 3 lash out of social media on me and like the response to it, there's been a lot of Christians who have been really nice and very welcoming. And it's been very positive.

Speaker 3 Also, been very negative, but like it's been very positive and I love it. Like I love how welcomed I've felt.
But a lot of people are like, they're taking it too far.

Speaker 3 Like people are acting like I've fully converted to Christianity. Oh my god, Leo's a Christian.
Leo's reading the goddamn Bible, girl. Okay.
Like people, y'all are doing too much for me.

Speaker 3 Love you and all. You've been real nice, but stop.
Like, leave me the fuck alone.

Speaker 3 I am really appreciative of how nice everybody's been, but the whole negative reaction to it, ooh, this one got me and it flared up my anger this entire year.

Speaker 3 This whole year, I'm gonna just be very, very candid with you.

Speaker 3 I have so much hatred for so many fucking people who have misrepresented my character, lied about me, made things up, have done nothing but have a sole intention of trying to destroy me, what I've built, my reputation, and everything that I have.

Speaker 3 I do not have forgiveness. I can't grant it.
There's a new awareness I'm being stretched to, and it's so uncomfortable around. forgiveness and around mercy.
I don't like it.

Speaker 3 It feels very uncomfortable and I'm feeling like stretched in half. Like I literally feel like I've been struck by lightning.

Speaker 3 But with social media, a lot of people this year have tried to make it and they can't. And everybody makes it seem like social media is so easy.
People are quickly realizing it's not.

Speaker 3 Fame seems accessible to everyone and everything now. Everybody has their little tips and tricks of how to go viral and do this, this, and that.

Speaker 3 A lot of people are having to face the fact that they're not interesting enough. And instead of seeing, okay, people can tell that I'm forced and full of shit online.

Speaker 3 Everything that I do is not working. I'm trying so desperately hard to blow up and go viral on social media.
It's not working.

Speaker 3 Instead of facing the fact that you're boring and that you're trying too goddamn hard, they don't want to see that.

Speaker 3 They convince themselves that there's some unfair game being played and they can't figure out the cheat code. The cheat code is being yourself, okay?

Speaker 3 But all people do is they realize they can't do it. So they assume there's some kind of cheat code.
They assume that I'm doing something fucked up. So they realize they can't go up.

Speaker 3 So they have to try and bring me down. And when you're someone in my position, you will never understand what I have to deal with and what I have to go through.

Speaker 3 And the way that it's fucked my brain up. Fame is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
People who are so desperately running for it, I hope you get it.

Speaker 3 But stop trying to fucking get it at the cost of me. Stop trying to get fame by proxy, by being the one who exposes people and brings other people down.
There's nothing to expose about me.

Speaker 3 You're barking up the wrong fucking tree. Okay.

Speaker 3 I do not bend to criticism. You cannot criticize me or shame me or guilt me or bully me into changing.
It's not going to work. It's never going to work.

Speaker 3 So given that, me being who I am and doing what I'm doing, these incessant fucking voices, these liars, these dumbasses, these people

Speaker 3 who are doing nothing but just trying to fucking hurt me. I'm successful no matter what.
There's not a point where you're going to be able to actually bring me to your level. We will never be equal.

Speaker 3 Ever.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry to say that out loud. I know people don't like to hear it, but if you take away my fame and my money, skill-wise, I have more skills than most of you combined.

Speaker 3 Just look at the sheer fact of it, okay? We got to call it what it is. We're never going to be equal.
Stop trying to compete with me.

Speaker 3 Stop trying to pull me down so you feel better and just do your own goddamn thing. I'm sorry your life is fucking boring.
You're in control of that. You go fixed it.
But my whole point is the people,

Speaker 3 the amount of people who have lied on me this year alone, I haven't acknowledged it once. My soul has not let me.
And it has made me so goddamn resentful, hateful,

Speaker 3 and just pissed off. Because like I said, I'm not going to change.
I'm not going to stop. I'm going to keep doing my thing and being me.

Speaker 3 These people can't change me, but when there's millions of people attacking you non-stop,

Speaker 3 I got to a point I wish they'd all just fucking die.

Speaker 3 And for me to be at that point, I don't feel guilt around saying it. I don't feel shame around saying it.

Speaker 3 I think anybody who actually slipped into my perspective for a second and felt what I feel, Wishing death on them is really not that weird. It's not that unjustified.
It actually is very logical.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 no one will ever know that except me. There's other people who get it online and they can understand it from a certain point, but nobody's as authentic as I am online.

Speaker 3 Nobody's done it like I've done it that I'm aware of. I'm not trying to say that to sound like I'm on a fucking high horse.

Speaker 3 I feel cursed by my soul being what it is sometimes, but that's the point I was brought to was people are not going to stop lying about me.

Speaker 3 People are not going to stop trying to sway the public opinion. People are not going to stop hating me and then trying to get others to hate me.
So Croak,

Speaker 3 i don't give a if people make a video talking about their opinion of me shove it up your ass i don't care i'm not going to acknowledge that doesn't bother me when people lie about me is when it bothers me because i've had to make so many sacrifices to be who i am and be where i am and for people to try and degrade my character and just blatantly lie about me if you want to fight the truth And you got something on me, motherfucker, let's fight with it.

Speaker 3 I have no problem owning shit that I've done.

Speaker 3 And there's nothing to find out about me is the thing. I will own it.
I've owned it all. And people keep saying, oh, Leo's turned to Christianity, which I haven't.
I'm reading a fucking Bible.

Speaker 3 Oh, Leo's turned to Christianity because he's done something. I'm sure allegations are going to come out soon.
He's trying to hide and go.

Speaker 3 Do you think I'm that stupid? I'm not as stupid as you. If I really did some fucked up shit, I would not be pushing myself further in the public eye.
Is that the most logical?

Speaker 3 That's not even the point. Like the stupidity.

Speaker 3 But to be completely honest, the thing that has brought me to the point where I'm like, okay, I wish they'd just croak if they're not going to stop lying about me is every single time this year people have made up lies about me online, I have not acknowledged it.

Speaker 3 I've recorded a video, dogging the fuck out of every single person that has had a video go insanely viral with a lie.

Speaker 3 I've stitched it and I've drafted it because I did it in so much anger and so much rage. I'm like, you have to lie about me to get people to hate me.
That's the fucking difference between us.

Speaker 3 You're very easily hateable. Trust me.
I feel it for you. Don't worry.
But that's not a fair fight. That's not a fair fight at all.

Speaker 3 If you want to get mad at things I say and use the actual truth in context about me, go for it. Do you want to get mad and cry and fucking throw your opinion out? Okay, cool.
Lying about me? No.

Speaker 3 I don't have no forgiveness for that. I want these people to croak.
But

Speaker 3 with all the times that I've addressed these people and made videos, tagging them, putting their face in the video, you want fame so fucking bad, I'm going to give it to you, you lying little piece of shit.

Speaker 3 That's how I was going at it every single time. I made these videos and I drafted them because I don't post out of anger.

Speaker 3 I like to be able to feel my soul if a decision is correct or not and is in line with my higher self. So Every single time I recorded a video, I would draft it.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, okay, I'm going to go watch it in 30 minutes, an hour, whatever. And then I'm going to post it.

Speaker 3 Every single time I got to the point I was going to post it, even if I was like, yep, I agree with it. I like it.
This motherfucker had it coming. Let me give it to him.
My soul told me no.

Speaker 3 And it started to frustrate the absolute shit out of me because I felt like I could not. defend myself without going against myself.
I do not ignore my soul. If it says no, it's no.

Speaker 3 And it always makes sense later. And the amount of trust I've had to have in my own fucking soul this year, I can't even explain to you the strength that it's taken.
But now it all makes sense.

Speaker 3 It all makes sense. And that's the reason I got to that point of like, okay, I feel like I can't defend myself.
My soul ain't letting me.

Speaker 3 I'm not that good at trusting like the higher powers that be and all because it just kept happening. It just kept getting worse, the lies, the bullshit.
I'm like, something's got to give.

Speaker 3 If my soul won't let me just stick them,

Speaker 3 let them croak then. Like I literally like was just building hatred toward these fucking people.
Like I despise them because I'm not letting myself like go against my soul.

Speaker 3 I was so fucking mad at myself. My higher self, I'm like, you dumb piece of shit.
What are you doing? Yeah, everything's nice from the spiritual realm. You want to be the bigger person.
Oh, the hike.

Speaker 3 You want to be the higher perspective.

Speaker 3 I don't operate with that shit down here okay that's not how it's going that's not how it's looking now i'm so happy i did not post any of those videos because a situation happened oh we're about to get into it and i gotta introduce you to this certain character and i'm gonna name them

Speaker 3 kumquat because that just sounds like a stupid ass name

Speaker 3 but that's the person i'm gonna refer to with this whole situation so this person kumquat made a video a couple months ago saying that Leo Skeppi's MAGA. What the fuck, Leo Skeppy?

Speaker 3 The video got like 450,000 likes, something around that, and like millions and millions of views.

Speaker 3 And this was after I talked about the Charlie Kirk situation and people started running on this fucking trend of Leo Skeppy's MAGA.

Speaker 3 How in a video where I'm telling you, I don't have a political stance because I can't trust anything and any information to pick a side. Also, both sides are so fucking embarrassing.

Speaker 3 I don't fucking like what the U.S. does coddling the shit out of Israel.
And I don't like most of the things that liberals like. Just to be completely clear with you, leave the kids alone.

Speaker 3 Leave the fucking kids alone, you goddamn weirdos. But I digress.
Not even about that. I don't like neither side, but not everybody wants to say, oh, not even just Leo's Republican.

Speaker 3 They want to make up a lie. Leo's MAGA.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 Like, I feel like we're past the point of, like, we're entering retardation territory. Like, the way that people are, I don't like to use the word retarded.

Speaker 3 I don't like to use that because it's offensive to a lot of people that I care about.

Speaker 3 Is hitting a point where I'm starting to question, not even in a derogatory way, do you genuinely have something wrong with you that is not diagnosed? That's going on.

Speaker 3 I don't have any logical way of explaining it or being devil's advocate for you anymore. Like, I feel like we're truly crossed that threshold of like, these people have some kind of undiagnosed shit.

Speaker 3 I don't want to be the one to do it.

Speaker 3 But therapists do your job diagnose these people tell them what the is really wrong with them because you're giving them meds that make them think that there's nothing wrong with them and they on the fucking high horse being stupid i posted a video the other day finally just defending myself but i didn't tag anybody i didn't direct it at anybody i just overarchingly hit all the different topics and i use the example of people saying leo scappy's maga if i was maga i grab myself by my grown ass fucking balls and say it I don't hide shit.

Speaker 3 I said that. That was like 10 seconds of the video.
And then I dogged the fuck out of everybody.

Speaker 3 I did. I did.
I felt better. I let it out.
I finally defended myself, but it wasn't at the cost of nobody. I didn't tag nobody.
I didn't deal with none of that. People were in the comments asking,

Speaker 3 who said you were MAGA? Like what a confused picture. It was very funny.
I was like, oh, funny. And I tagged Kumquat and I said, this rat.

Speaker 3 That is the first time I've commented and held someone accountable for the fucking shit they've said this year. And Kumquat

Speaker 3 got upset.

Speaker 3 Because people started to go in and attack them and give them shit.

Speaker 3 So we were talking to Medi's. Cause I sent a message like a week ago and was like, So I saw, I just saw your video.
You posted on me being MAGA two months ago. I'd like for you to fill me in.

Speaker 3 Cause you sure as fuck ran with it. Something along those lines.
And me and Kumquat ended up getting into a little bit of a pissing match, you could say, over the DMs.

Speaker 3 To add a little bit more context to this, when Kumquat posted their video and had it pinned for the past two months, parading it around, very like loved it, was proud of spreading a fucking lie.

Speaker 3 They didn't fact check nothing. They didn't look into nothing.
They claimed to be a fan of me before.

Speaker 3 And they were so blinded by their political hatred, they hit the wrong target. And it pissed me off.
There's a lot more people than just this certain cum quat.

Speaker 3 There was a few come quots who were talking about this and pushing it, but this was the biggest video. This was the most viral.

Speaker 3 So after hosting and feeding and letting thrive an absolute hate section about me, I'm talking over 8,000 comments of people just ripping the shit out of me.

Speaker 3 After you foster it and feed into it and comment back to these people and you, yes, you're loving it.

Speaker 3 I've been receiving death threats. Like, that's fucking new.
That's just part of being on social media at this point and having an opinion.

Speaker 3 God forbid, try being bald on social media.

Speaker 3 But I've been getting death threats and my family's been getting a little bit of shit from people just getting mad. But that's part of it.
We'll shoot you if you come near us.

Speaker 3 Like we're not that like phased by it, but this is the tolerance you have to learn to build with being in the public eye.

Speaker 3 Once I posted that comment and tagged Kumquat, then they responded to my message from a week ago and said, oh, I didn't see it. And they said that they wanted to apologize.

Speaker 3 They unpinned the video and they wanted to say that what I'm doing and weaponizing my platform against them is problematic and dangerous and it's unfair. And basically now I'm the bully.

Speaker 3 Because I commented under a comment.

Speaker 3 Someone said, who said Leo was MAGA? So I tagged the person who had the biggest video about it.

Speaker 3 What the fuck is the problem?

Speaker 3 You said it. People asked who said it.
Now that I shined the spotlight right on you, why the fuck can't you stand there and own it? And I made Kumquat aware that it was a lie.

Speaker 3 And dumbass wanted to just keep fighting with me, saying that I'm the problem and I'm the asshole and I'm this, this, this, and that. Saying that they're sorry.

Speaker 3 I said, stop fucking saying you're sorry because you're not. You're now aware that what you posted was a lie.

Speaker 3 You were one of the people of many who contributed to a false opinion being spread about me and a false attack on my character because you know what you were doing and this dumb was like i'll ask you again do you want me to delete the video

Speaker 3 if you don't have it in your own character to right the wrong that you spread i'm not asking you to delete a video that shows your character and it's pathetic i'm not here for the whole placating shit i don't care for fake empathy I don't care for fake nothing.

Speaker 3 But Kumquat started to say, I've been getting death threats because of you. I've been having...

Speaker 3 I did look at the comments that y'all left and y'all were eating this motherfucker up and I loved it. I watched y'all have my back and I can't tell you how much I appreciated it genuinely.

Speaker 3 But this is the first person I've put a little heat on. this whole year.
And

Speaker 3 there was getting nowhere with Kumquat. They were just a stubborn fucking fucking piece of shit.
And that's how I felt yesterday. I feel a little different now.

Speaker 3 But Kumquat tried to start saying all this shit about they're getting death threats and they were expecting me to have empathy for them.

Speaker 3 I got them because of you. What do you mean? I got millions of people on me.
You got a couple hundred. I addressed you in a comment under a comment.

Speaker 3 Under a video that had nothing to do with your name or insinuating who you were. So the people who were really in the comments saw it.
You had millions of people, 4 million to be exact, turn on me

Speaker 3 and a couple hundred came at you and you can't even take the heat. I couldn't toast a piece of bread with the heat shoes under.
What the fuck?

Speaker 3 I get 10,000 comments a day, people telling me to kill myself. Come on.
That's the thing. I don't think you realize the opponent you were picking at.
It's not a fair fight. So why did you pick it?

Speaker 3 Because my last message to Kumquat was stay strong like I did.

Speaker 3 I have no empathy. I have no compassion.
I have no nothing. You ain't tasted a fucking lick of what I went through.
Have been through in general. Have been through at all.
So no, I don't have mercy.

Speaker 3 No, I don't have compassion. And no, I don't feel fucking bad for shining the spotlight on your fucking lying ass.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 this didn't stop there.

Speaker 3 I'm reliving the emotions from yesterday because some new awareness hit me because of this.

Speaker 3 I want to bite it. Oh, I'm I'm pissed.

Speaker 3 It checked me. It humbled me really bad.

Speaker 3 So all this anger that I was feeling, commenting that comment, it did feel soul-led. That's why I commented it.
The first time I finally put a little bit of light on somebody lying about me,

Speaker 3 this whole situation was meant to show me my power that I do have. And it's not to be taken lightly.
And it's not something that I've seen before.

Speaker 3 I've felt very kind of like not insecure, but I've felt unable to protect myself and defend myself and I've not been able to feel good about it.

Speaker 3 I feel like my soul has just been making me out to be a pussy bitch. My ego wants to fight.
My ego wants to see these people croak. My soul doesn't.

Speaker 3 And I felt like trapped and like frustrated with it. And I lost sight of the power that I have.
But commenting and tagging Kumquat and seeing seeing how quickly they folded under the pressure

Speaker 3 made me see the power that I do have. And I started to feel bad for Kumquat.
Not enough to delete the comment.

Speaker 3 I wanted the person to sit there and deal with a little more shit. I dealt with it for two and a half months.

Speaker 3 You dealt with it for six hours and you're already crying. You're getting death threats.
Oh my God.

Speaker 3 Boohoo.

Speaker 3 But seeing the reaction that Kumquat had,

Speaker 3 I did see the power that I do have. And I do have an audience of people who truly do love me.

Speaker 3 The ones of y'all who actually love me, y'all are some righteous motherfuckers because you call me out when I need to be called out. And if I say someone's done me wrong, you're after them.

Speaker 3 You're gunning for them. And I respect that.
And I value that and appreciate that more than I can ever put into words because I've never really had

Speaker 3 that.

Speaker 3 I've always been that for other people.

Speaker 3 Like I have my family, but that's different.

Speaker 3 Having as many of y'all as I have who have my back, I will never, ever allow you to defend me in a way that would make you look stupid.

Speaker 3 I will never put myself in a situation where I bring my audience into it to have my back and we all look stupid. I'll never do that.

Speaker 3 I see the power that I have now because Kumquat couldn't even handle a couple hundred comments. It won't even 100 comments.
You were already folding. You were already getting fucked up.

Speaker 3 But I understand social media now.

Speaker 3 And the way that people will go to the ends of swatting you, getting you fired, trying to harm you, doxing you, going after your family, going after businesses, going after anyone associated with you, getting you kicked out of schools.

Speaker 3 People have time.

Speaker 3 And when they love an influencer enough, they will do that.

Speaker 3 And I recognize now I've got an audience who would go to fucking war for me.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 I love it. But that also comes with immense responsibility.
And seeing that was so humbling. And now it makes sense.
My soul finally let me see what it was holding me back from this whole time.

Speaker 3 Cause all this year, all the hundreds, maybe thousands of videos that I didn't even see, but all the people who have talked against me and done so much against me,

Speaker 3 my soul never let me rectify it or punish them for it because my soul knew better than I did. I didn't see the power.
I didn't see what I could have done to these people. And it doesn't fit the crime.

Speaker 3 The punishment doesn't match the crime. Getting online and talking some shit

Speaker 3 doesn't compare to what I could do to somebody if I stitch their video or talk about them. and expose them.

Speaker 3 If I let my hatred out on somebody and I encourage my following to do it, or if I just let my hatred out, people will follow and they're actually going to fuck up your life.

Speaker 3 Me just talking and letting it out on social media, correcting people will turn into actual damage being caused to them. That so far surpasses

Speaker 3 them just talking shit. It would quickly go from them talking about me, me talking about them to them having their life destroyed.
And it's not fair. And I can see that now.
Don't look at me.

Speaker 3 The Bible's looking at me. It's trying to look at me.
It's like, gotcha. No.

Speaker 3 I don't like this. I don't.
I don't like this. I do like it.
I am appreciative of it.

Speaker 3 And I feel a lot more confident, but I feel a lot more confident in my soul too, because it knew when I didn't know. And it finally let me see.
I've never been powerless. I've never been powerless.

Speaker 3 I've never been weak. It's just I've had to restrain it and it made me start to feel powerless.
And this was a nice refresher exactly when I needed it. In a situation I do not regret that

Speaker 3 I finally see it all and I see it different. And I only have a problem with injustice when I feel powerless.
I'm not powerless. I'm stronger than I even thought.

Speaker 3 And I'm not getting all on a high horse because I have people who love me on social media. I would never take that for granted.
Cause you come to me face to face.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna be able to beat the fuck out of you. I could defend myself against people.
And even if there's 10 of you and I don't don't win, I'm going to go down swinging.

Speaker 3 I'm going to get a few licks in. I'm going to mark up your faces and break some bones before you knock me out.

Speaker 3 So just based off of my physical ability to protect myself, monetarily I can protect myself. I could sue these motherfuckers bankrupt if I wanted to, but I don't.
My soul doesn't want me to do that.

Speaker 3 And I'm not going to do that. I don't have that in my heart to like

Speaker 3 really sue somebody just with the sole intention of destroying them and bankrupting them. Nothing these people can do can get me to act out with the power that I have to actually destroy them.

Speaker 3 Because none of it's fair. Like I realize now I'm not a fair target.
I'm not a fair opponent. These people keep picking with me.
It's like a pit bull and a fucking chihuahua.

Speaker 3 These kumquats are little chihuahuas. It's like you're barking, you're barking, you're barking.
But as soon as this pit bull grabs you and shakes you by the neck one time, you're dead.

Speaker 3 Shut that little yappy fucking mouth. Don't make me turn and show you.
Don't make me do that. Because I was so close, so close this, like so many times this year, off the little ranting path.

Speaker 3 Where I'm at now with all of this is I saw the power that I couldn't see that I have.

Speaker 3 And I see the strength that I was blind to for a little bit, but I no longer want my strength, power, or value reflected to me at the cost of other people.

Speaker 3 I don't want people to have to get hurt for me to see my strength. I am setting a boundary with God.
I would like to see it in different ways.

Speaker 3 I don't want to have to hurt people and to have to have people be the cost of me seeing myself, my value, and my strength. So I went back and I deleted the comment where I tagged Kumquat.

Speaker 3 Not for anybody but myself. Yes, my ego wanted to say, fuck you.
I hope I want to leave it up. I want you to sit there and burn in it.
That's not what I want.

Speaker 3 My soul is steering me down a new path where I don't, I genuinely don't want people to be at the expense of

Speaker 3 me feeling good about myself or me being reflected my value. Like, this was a spiritual reflection.
This was way bigger than just, oh, an ego boost. This was a spiritual reflection.

Speaker 3 And I guess Kumquat needed it too because they were matched to it. But I'm setting a boundary with God.
I don't want to see things be reflected to me like that.

Speaker 3 I don't want to feel guilt or feel like bad. I don't want to feel remorse or feel.
I don't want to feel like any kind of compassion for people. Leave me to fuck alone with that shit.
I'm over it.

Speaker 3 Ah, the mercy shit. Ooh, different.
It's different. I might, this could be like being a little bit more merciful.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 But with this new like power that I recognize and I feel from you guys, like you guys have my fucking back. If I ever am gonna speak on somebody,

Speaker 3 it's gonna be somebody doing something very, very corrupt. It's gonna be a fucked up pastor.
It's gonna be some churches doing something bad. It's gonna be some political shit going on.

Speaker 3 It's gonna be some kind of like human trafficking or like pedophilia shit or something big. If I'm actually going to unleash

Speaker 3 you guys on somebody, like I'm gonna save that and use that for a greater good, not just to fuck people up who are talking about me. I think it's very clear now.

Speaker 3 And I feel confident now that you guys love me and see me for me. Yeah, a lot of people don't, but I feel confident in that that you guys see me for me.
And I don't got to prove shit.

Speaker 3 I don't have to be worried that people are going to keep lying and doing all this shit. They're going to do it regardless.
But I feel free from being bothered by it.

Speaker 3 Truly, because I know I could squish you like a fucking little bug. And I'm going to be tempted.
But this was a really big lesson for me. Ever since reading this little bait.

Speaker 3 But the weird thing is, this did kind of flip me wanting everybody to croak.

Speaker 3 I don't hope the Kumquat that I dealt with croaks. I really don't.
And I got the message. Okay, it's done.
It's over. I learned and saw what I needed to see.

Speaker 3 I hope whatever lesson they were meant to learn, they learned it. But other people, I don't think I'm bothered enough to wish them to die anymore.
I don't know. Give me a few days.

Speaker 3 Let another one piss me off and I'll keep you posted. But we'll see if it sticks.

Speaker 3 Like I said, wait till the next test. Because I'm being tested like nobody's business right now over and over and over and over again.

Speaker 3 Boom. It's like the integration period.
I've learned so much by reading this Bible so fast. Like I've been going through it.
I've been highlighting boots. I've been intuitively reading it.

Speaker 3 And there's so many perspectives that are like clarified, solidified, and come up. And it's like the tests have been nothing like I've experienced before.
Like my soul is like amplifying this.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, wow, like I'm catching on quick and I'm integrating quickly

Speaker 3 but I've never experienced nothing like get away from me actually give me a break right here

Speaker 3 but yeah that's what's happened in the last six days there's been a lot more than that but the growth that's happened in the last six days was that I don't wish people would die no more

Speaker 3 well I think that's it for my updates with everything I'm going to see Stevie Nicks I am, I am. My little trip that I'm taking, I'm hitting the road.

Speaker 3 I'm buying my truck in a couple days and I'm about to go run around and have fun. But I'm going to see Stevie Nicks with one of my childhood friends.

Speaker 3 Childhood, it's like 16 childhood friend, 16, like teenage friend, like high school friends that I'm still very close with. We're going to see Stevie Nicks and I got to see her before she dies.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? Like she's getting old. And I want to see her before she passes.
So I booked the tickets and we're going to go.

Speaker 3 And then I'm going to get my truck and we're going to set off on our little journey. And we're going to see what happens.
But I feel very at peace. I'm happy, you could say.
Don't get no ideas.

Speaker 3 As soon as I say I'm happy or something's going well, it's like you want to fuck with me. Leave me alone, God.
Give me like

Speaker 3 five business days before you fuck me up again.

Speaker 3 Enough of it.

Speaker 3 My soul and God are like buddy-buddy. Like they love just fucking me up.
It's all in the best way, but it don't feel good on the way there. But my anger clarified so much.

Speaker 3 And I feel like the reason I'm feeling called to read the Bible is because Jesus Christ had that perspective. He loved people to the death.

Speaker 3 And I'm excited to explore more into that because a lot flipped already. So this is cool.
Am I going to be getting dunked in a bathtub anytime soon, getting baptized? Am I getting saved?

Speaker 3 Am I doing any of that? No. Don't rush me.
Don't piss me off. Don't tell me I'm this and tell me I'm that.
Shut up before I tell you to croak.

Speaker 3 See, now I can joke with you about it because we overcame it. It's like when you and your friends have like a fight.

Speaker 3 And like a certain word, like a certain thing you say will piss them off and they get all upset about it and then you talk about it and then it becomes like an inside joke every time i tell you to croak now it's a joke see now we can joke about it because i don't mean it

Speaker 3 also update for everybody who ordered the tits the season merch that'll be shipping the end of this week you will get a tracking email as soon as your order ships but everything's shipping and like the the way that it was ordered so if you put your order in the first day i dropped it yours will be shipping out first just give it a couple days you'll get an email as soon as it ships Promise, babe.

Speaker 3 And if you need to change anything or you got any questions, you can go to the contact page on my merch website. I'll put it in the description.
But other merch is live now and it will ship now.

Speaker 3 Everything available now. I brought back the old merch.
It's ready if you want to go order anything for Christmas or something.

Speaker 3 You want to buy yourself a Christmas gift, buy somebody else a Christmas gift. I just want to give you a heads up on the merch.
Also, my sunglasses.

Speaker 3 I don't know if I've told the podcasts about the sunglasses. I made sunglasses and they're finally perfect.
I've been working on them for the past few months. Really like the past like seven months.

Speaker 3 And they're perfect and they're done. And well, my sample's done.
But the bulk production

Speaker 3 will be finished around January. So February, we're going to have a very exciting launch.

Speaker 3 There's also a lot more things I'm working on. I'm not just doing merch.
I'm doing a whole like clothing line vibe to go along with the merch. There's two tiers of it.

Speaker 3 And I've been working on a lot of stuff, a lot of things. I've just stopped talking about it.
I was so tired of the back and forth.

Speaker 3 i've just been handling what i have to handle behind the scenes but i'm doing a lot working on a lot and i'm so excited to show you everything black and gold duh only and leopard there'll be a little leopard black leopard

Speaker 3 but for everybody who made it this far in the episode what emoji we want to put let's put the rip like the little gravestone emoji like the what cemetery headstone yeah put that one Like RIP to wishing people would RIP.

Speaker 3 Okay, that'll be our emoji for this week.

Speaker 3 But if you want to keep up with me, all my social media will have all my little adventures and things that I'm up to in between the podcasts.

Speaker 3 So I don't know if I'll make an episode where I go into like certain things that I'm learning in the Bible, like scriptures and stuff.

Speaker 3 I've been kind of doing it on TikTok and Instagram a little bit, but I don't know. My soul is going to decide.
So that's it.

Speaker 3 Love you all so bad. I don't hope you quell.

Speaker 3 Everybody, be safe. Take care of yourself.
And I'll talk to you guys next Monday.

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