Road To Redemption with Kail & Becky

Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird.
It's your fave villain, Kale Lowry. And you're listening to Barely Famous.
Surprise, everyone. It is Becky, for those of you that might not know me.
I've was really good friends with Kale for about 10 years. We had a little bit of a falling out about five years ago.
We are reuniting after five years of not seeing or speaking to each other. So I'm so nervous.
I haven't seen Becky. February will be five years since we've seen each other.
And so we're just like just short of five years. If you knew me on any of the shows, you know how big of a part Becky played in my life and in my kids' lives.
And so I didn't wear makeup because I knew I might cry. There was a lot of outside personal issues that we both were just dealing with individually that just worked itself up into something bigger in between us.
I think that's why it's kind of easy to come back now and be excited because it wasn't like a betrayal as much situation. And so, yeah, I'm excited.
I'm excited and I'm nervous. And I hope that this is the start to a new friendship with the same person.
But I think we both evolved from where we were when we stopped being friends till now. so i hope it's like a new friendship but just like also rekindling the old one this is fun i think we're both you know different people we obviously have talked in the past couple weeks and past month but it's our first time seeing each other in person and uh i'm really excited to see you know how this goes and where this this goes and basically reintroduce ourselves as humans.

Super nervous.

This feels like 90 Day Fiance.

I've already started crying.

I'm going shaking. I was crying out in that moment.
Oh my God. Today's an emotional day.
Hey, Stevie. Hey, Zach.
I love y'all too, but it's been five years, so. Give me a hug.

You're so skinny.

I literally took, like, all these videos on my phone,

but I didn't think I was actually going to cry.

Like, I didn't.

I didn't wear makeup because I was like, what do I do?

I love you so much.

I'm shaking.

I know.

I literally couldn't text. I was like, what do we even, like, I can't I love you so much.
I'm shaking. I know.
I literally couldn't text.

I was like, what do we even, like, I can't believe this.

Like, five years.

Okay.

I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.

Today we're going to have fun.

It's going to be a good time.

So tell me what you've been up to.

So I, you had a house

in jersey before like i went to the house that you lived in with leah before you did yeah that was the farmhouse that yes and then where what happened after that did you still own that one did you sell it no so leah's dad owns it leah's brother moved in okay um so leah's like very a little bit complicated. Leah's dad was adopted by this woman, like, 15 years ago.
She never, her and her twin sister lived in a house. They never had kids.
Jean took care of them. She was 94, moved in with Jean because she's, her, like, dementia started getting bad.
Right, and then when they were moving her out of her house, you know, the question was, what are they going to do with her house? And Jean was like, you know, either Becky and Leah can have it or we're just going to sell it. Like that's the one that you're in now or the one that we're in now.
So Leah and I moved so incredibly fortunate to be in this house.

It's a beautiful home.

We wake up every morning very thankful for this place that we get to live.

It's on 20 acres.

It's perfect.

It's like a dream place.

We put a lot of money into renovating it.

I took six months.

I did probably like 75% of the renovations by myself. Um, which is crazy.
I just like learned like, so when did y'all get engaged and when did y'all get married? We got engaged in 2020 before, after our fallout way after. So we got engaged, um, in December on Christmas Eve.

So when we fell out was in February.

Correct.

Of 2020.

I was pregnant with Creed.

Yes.

You were off with Leah, I think.

Like you guys weren't together.

You were like sort of in like a weird place.

No, we were together.

We were definitely together, but we weren't great.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

I always say that if COVID didn't happen, that Leah and I would have broken up.

Like, because of COVID and us being forced to, like, cohabitate and be together all the time, we, like, completely fell back in love with each other.

And, like, not for nothing, I mean, you understand you've dated people to your 20s but like Leah was 21 when I met her and like dating to your early 20s is not easy for anyone yeah and so the first four years of our relationship was four years of dating in your early 20s and so it was a lot of just like growing pains figuring out life I'm five years older than Leah so like I was in different places than she was too um so yeah 2020 just like reshaped the entire structure and literally ever since then like nothing there's been nothing that has like even come close to like coming between us, coming between us. Like, it's just, we were great before, right? Like, our great was great.
But, like, now it's just, like, always just, like, amazing. And you're 35? 34.
34 and she's 29. Yeah.
I definitely think who I was in my early 20s compared to now.

I mean, it's night and day.

I don't think that anyone could have prepared me for the level of growing, progressing, changing.

I mean, I even took steps back.

Like, I reverted back probably around my 28 to 30.

It was like, I thought I was growing.

And then I was like, okay, wait, no.

And now that I'm 32, I just have a completely different outlook than even just two years ago or three years ago. So I can't imagine what that did for you guys.

Yeah, and like we – like 2020 literally – like I was – like we had talked about, like I was in probably the lowest place of my entire life.

Like dirt naps being wanted to be taken like all the time.

And so – I was in probably the lowest place of my entire life. Dirt naps being wanted to be taken all the time.
And it was a journey for me, too. And you know my past relationships.
So the first two years of mine and Leah's relationships, I was unlearning such toxic behavior from my past relationships that I was giving to her that she didn't deserve. So like there was just a lot like in that in that beginning.
And then when 2020 hit, it was just like, like everything just felt like wrong, right? Like, I was having a fallout with my sister, I was having like, you know, figuring out things with my parents, me and Leo were like, on the brink of just like breaking up forever. And then and then like all of that was happening right when like things kind of happened with you.
So there was just, it was easier to step away than it was to try to figure anything else out because like I had no, like no fight left in me for myself. So like, how do I have a fight left in me for anyone else? If like, I didn care about my own life right but I was in the same place so I think that's why I like I never knew if I should reach out or how to reach out or how to even reconcile like I don't think I ever came fully to terms with the fact that we weren't friends anymore like I don't think I ever fully accepted that like I just knew that you weren't a part of my life but I don't think I actually I don't know it was such a weird because I was in such a weird place and I just I don't know I thought that we would have worked out whatever it was that we were you and I were dealing with I think it's hard because there wasn't like one there wasn't like a huge like blowout fight where we, yeah, but it wasn't like we were disrespecting each other.
It wasn't like we were like, you know, like I betrayed your trust or like I betrayed you or like, you know, you like hurt someone in my life or like, you, you know, it was just like, we had an odd disagreement, like, and not for nothing. Like we would, our friendship probably wouldn't have lasted through that anyway, because I held so like 20, I know that like politics is a difficult discussion for a lot of people, but like my outlook in 2016 and 2020 isn't who I am.
Like now I still obviously have the same views as I did, but like I held so much hate, so much hate back then that like it like destroyed me as like a person. And so like I now cope with things differently and like conversations differently and differences differently than I ever would have then.
The political conversation wasn't what broke us up. I mean, that was just the straw.
Yeah, for sure. That was just like, like, I just don't have time for this.
Like, I don't have time for myself. Like, I don't have time for this.
Like there was just just shit. And there was shit before that, right? Like, I mean, you know, like, anyone that's involved or close to you in your life, like, recognizes even, like, the toxicness around you.
Not saying, like, you personally, but, like, your interactions with, like, your children's fathers. Like, things like that.
Your friends that you're having falling outs with, like the arguments that like you have with people. Like that's a lot of weight to carry as for anyone.
Right. Like if that's a lot of weight to carry for you.
And I think for me, I was able to carry the weight of that for so long. But like in that moment of our separation, like, again, I didn't even like I didn't have a will to live so like how was I supposed to care about well I think too before that was like the sleepover at your house with everyone we got into the little thing yeah and then we also got into whatever that person whenever the yeah whenever that person came to visit you for sure she ran back to me and told me what you were saying.
And then I was just like, this, I don't know if we have two different like perceptions of like what our friendship is or who we are or if they're like, I have been guilty of holding onto resentments from people that I'm friends with. And then like it all, like one thing is the straw that breaks the camel's back.
And then all of the things I held on to the resentment and everything else and all the things I've been keeping in my back pocket kind of spill out. And I feel like that's what happened with us.
Like that's what was going on. And I think we were set up for failure, too.
Right. Like we were young and immature of just like letting people like outside conversations with people like fuel our relationship.
right? Like hearing what people were saying to me about what I should be expecting from you. And then people telling you of like, but the same person that told you what to expect from me was coming back to me and tell me what you were saying.
We were going to play a bunch of people. Why, why was that happening? Like, was it because we didn't care to like keep quality people around us? Or was it, like, us being immature? Like, what is that? I just think, like, I think that was just the nature of the people that were around you.
And, like, I wasn't. Well, I don't have any of those people around me anymore.
I know. And, like, I wasn't used to that because, like, my home friends are different than, like, the friends and relationships I had made with you.
Right. Right? Like there just wasn't like a like we had we were set up for failure right and like obviously like just like the world around you like isn't fair of just the position that you get put in like quite often of people using you right right? People that I think are like rock solid.
The first thing they do when we have a fallout is go to the internet. And I know you never did that.
No. And I mean, I did see eyes.
I did see eyes. That was a while after though, but you didn't say anything else.
So like, whatever, I'll let it go. Right.
But right after I got tabloid after tabloid after tabloid in my DMs, like, are you willing to sell your story? And like, I just, it never was worth it to me. Cause like, that's not why I was friends with you.
Right. Like I wasn't friends with you to get my 15 minutes of fame and like attention, but not that much attention.
And we talked about this the first time we talked, I said, two truths can be same. Like I can love and care for you as a friend.
And I can also like attention, but you would like attention with or without me. And that's the difference is that the other people, they like the attention they're getting with me.
And then when they don't have it anymore, they quickly are like, Oh, I can go because I'll tell you what wife. She reached out to me after they sold or do whatever they did.
I don't know if they sold it. I don't know if they gave away it for free, all that information.
She turned around and texted my phone and said that she misses me. And I literally text her back.
I said, get the fuck out of my iMessages. Because once you sell me out on the internet, whether you sell me out or you just say something on the internet, I never look back.
Yeah. And you never did that.
And that's why I think I never fully accepted that we would not be friends again for the rest of our lives yeah and I mean we're here now but it was funny because when I called you I was like listen I talked to some shit the past four years and I don't I don't want it coming up now and it me having to explain myself so if like we're gonna be friends we're leaving the past four or five years behind us of like no but so when I told because i obviously updated taylor on everything yeah because she was the one that told me about your dad yeah um i went back to her and i was like you know becky called me and she told me that she talked shit to the you know so and so and i and she was like wow like that's actually impressive that she because i think you made a good point when you said, like, if we're going to try to, like, rekindle any sort of friendship or acquaintanceship or anything. Why would you want to take a step like those people could come forward and be like, well, Becky said this.
Yes. Well, I know that she said that, that and that.
But we weren't friends at the time and she was probably hurt and mad and whatever else. I already know that.
So if I didn't know that and then I found out and try to become friends again, then it's like, okay, let's just not even be friends again. And I respect that.
Like, I just feel like it takes balls to do that. And you didn't have to do that.
And you did. So to me, it just, it didn't, it didn't matter that whatever you said over the past four years doesn't matter to me.

You didn't go public with it, so I don't give a fuck.

And whatever you said in a text message to so-and-so is not my fucking business.

It's not.

Like, I don't care.

I don't.

Yeah.

We all talk shit.

Honestly, even if you saw anything I said, it wouldn't be like a... Like a game changer?

Nah.

Like, it wasn't even...

It wasn't that bad?

Nah.

Oh, okay. Yeah.
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your selling today. shopify.com slash barely famous what have you said about me Zach everything oh um but yeah that's I mean yeah I I just like there's just no need for me I don't hold on to any I'm just like you know I'm just like a different

different than I used to be but you were just such a big part of my life and my kids lives that

I missed I'm like no offense to your other kids but like Isaac I don't even know half of them so

which is crazy that's a true story

um

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Really? He didn't even know the story. Yeah.
And he was just, because I tell him that. I'm like, if you guys fall out, like, you you have to be really careful who you like trust again.
For sure. And then I told him, I said, listen, I said, she called me.
I said, we had a really great conversation. She told me she talked shit, which most people would never admit until the day they die.
And he was like, oh, okay. So then he was, he felt better about it.
And then I told him that I was coming here with you. He actually wanted to come tonight, but he's with his dad.
So I love that Kim. So that's when he followed you back on Instagram.
I like cried and I was like, I'm coming here with you he actually wanted to come tonight but he's with his dad so I love that Kim so that's when he followed you back on Instagram I like cried I was like I'm just I spent so much time with him and like so much quality time like yeah and I'm just like like that he I think I look at him like I look at Piper right like my niece like I'm just like I just want to be there really use Becky right now yeah

like they're the things that he's going through in his life I just feel like I mean I can help as much as I can help but I think that you understand him on a different level than I ever could because um yeah I hope to hang out with him I hope to whatever I think it's I think it's nice it's it's i think we're both in a place where like there's like it's like a why not type of situation like why like why wouldn't we yeah

rekindle because we had a great i mean like you know like we vibe very well together of just like

having fun and enjoying like wait do you remember this will come out after um the live and so when

Thank you. well together of just like having fun and enjoying like wait do you remember this will come out after um the live and so when this airs as a podcast like i don't care if people know hold on i'm embarrassed to ask if you remember this um you're just like a flirt in general like by nature for sure with everyone yeah in new y everyone.
Yeah. In New York.
We were in New York at a hotel.

It was like me, you, Wendy.

Bone.

Probably Bone.

And I looked at you and I said,

why did we never try to be together?

Do you remember what you said to me?

It's probably something about it being too easy or something.

Get out of my, get out of the room.

That's exactly what you said. You were like you were like kale you are not a challenge do you remember that i do yeah and i was like way to humble me way to fucking humble me but also that is also really funny that whole i was just telling them before was that um so it all started because I don't know if you remember this I don't you were pregnant with Lux and you didn't want the news finding out like right you didn't want whoever finding out right TMZ and so you were like Becky people think we're dating do you care if we milk this so milk this so that no one finds out that I'm pregnant? Yeah.
And so when the tabloids started coming like that, like it was like, never denied it. We never spoke about it.
Like we still, to this day have never publicly talked about it. Like every, and it's so fucking funny.
Am I allowed to curse? curse yeah it's so funny because like people will ask me and i'll be like no like no we didn't like hook up our date and but i saw once yeah but i say it in like such a guilty way by accident that no one believes me anyone i honestly think we get out on stage tonight and they and we like address this i don't know No one's going to address this, I don't know if people will believe us.

I don't think that people would believe it.

Do you know how weird it was to explain who you are to Elisha?

Because Elisha and I have been together for two and a half or three years.

Trying to explain to him who you are, nobody gets it.

Because unless you were around us for ten years before we fell out, you don't get it. Nobody gets it because unless you were around us while we were like for sure the for 10 years before we fell out you don't get it nobody gets it yeah so like trying to and he was like so when i was telling him about what we were doing and like for the haters like the plan for that and everything he was like who is this like you can't like you just had to be there yeah it was funny because i thought when you were just about to say do you you remember that time when we were in New York when we were walking down the street and the dude jumped out of the car butt ass naked? Oh my God! With his wiener out! And it was flogged.
Zach, you would have loved it. It was so big.
It was so big. Yeah.
No, he gets out of the driver's seat, stark ass naked, like literally no...

With shoes on and socks.

There was no,

there was no boxers.

He, we had pictures of it.

His hang dang,

it was out.

Pictures of it.

No, we literally,

we have to find them.

I need to see.

No, it's so,

I have never seen a penis that big in my life.

It literally almost touched his kneecap.

It was wild.

And it was soft.

Wow.

I was sick.

I was like, what in the fuck?

And we were just like taking videos of him and he never said, don't do that.

Next baby daddy.

I was shook.

Do you remember that?

When was that?

What year do you think that was?

And what were we doing in New York?

No clue.

I think we were there for a reunion.

Oh, okay.

Because you've been to, how many teen mom reunions do you think you've been to with me three that's it four oh i went on book tour with you people sent me pictures of that and i was dying and people remember you like chilling with lincoln while i was on the book tour yeah would you come on another book tour yeah okay should we write a book together i would love to write a book i think i would be pretty good at writing a book. Well, not like the writing the book part, but like the concept behind it.
I'll edit it because your grammar sometimes is a little crazy. It's so bad.
It's like you got a master's degree. I do, yeah.
So you and Leah, you got engaged. You got married.
We got married this year. Yeah.
year yeah our wedding was beautiful did you go on a honeymoon are you gonna go on a honeymoon or is like the ivf the honeymoon the ivf is the honeymoon so is she also doing ivf at the same time she is same sperm donor so they'll be yeah potentially could be fraternal twins or having them like short like a short space apart yeah it's. It's possible that you guys could have non fraternal twins, but they can still be in the same grade.
Yeah. Because, but we're doing co IVF.
So like we're each carrying each other's egg, egg, same donor. So yeah, like I want to talk about this on like tonight.
Yeah. Well, yeah, we'll go into more detail about it.
what's crazy is that you've almost had enough kids to count the years that we've been friends that we've not been friends that we've not been friends since i've been gone and and truly right two came for one so three so four creed you had four kids in the five years we haven't been friends no four i've had four kids had four kids. That's what I just said.
Oh, I thought you said three.

No.

And that's crazy.

Well, I didn't mean to.

It was an accident.

We slipped on the dick.

Don't we all do that?

How do you, I mean, how do you accidentally have four kids?

Well, one was twins.

So two were twins.

That was only.

I can't believe you have a girl. I when you meet her she's insane like remember the time that you said that we didn't need a little another kale running around no she's crazy in the best like she's so she's crazy yeah she's crazy it's just it's really hard like it's crazy to me that you have that many more kids because i was so involved with your others your other kids lives that like i'm so out of touch with your current reality you know what i mean like i think it's like more chill than anyone thinks like people think like it is chaos but like it's kale chaos so it's not that chaotic do you know what i mean yeah it's like i'm like, yeah.
Like I still think. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um, okay. So you're doing the reciprocal co IVF.
You guys are good. Okay.
Update me if you're comfortable with it. Um, and the, I think, did you ever share the journey with your brother-in-law? Like how he was paralyzed.
They're divorced. They're divorced.

They are.

But you are on good terms with Alex, your sister?

I am, yeah.

She's my best friend.

Is she coming tonight?

No.

She lives in Florida now.

Oh, are you serious?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Is she okay with the hurricane?

She said they're in zone D, so they're pretty inland.

Like, they're not close to the water.

Okay.

Yeah, so she's remarried.

She married her high school sweetheart.

Wow.

She's great.

My sister Kim is coming to...

Oh, I know her.

Yeah.

Love her.

Yeah, she's great.

I think I met every single...

You met all of them except LJ, I think.

Well, he's the one that lived in New York?

No, that's Justin.

So why didn't I meet LJ? He lives in Jersey. He's the oldest.
Did I just like never meet him? Yeah. I met your mom.
I met some of your nieces. I think I met all three of your nieces actually.
I don't think that people even know like how close that we were. Maybe they do.
I think people do. No, no because i can't it's hard to explain it to people when they ask me it's like i knew your whole family so like i don't yeah it's not like we it was just me and you yeah also how does leah feel about us reconnecting is she okay with it yeah she's okay i mean leah's a a sweetheart she just you know just told me to to be careful of just like she just saw me go through a lot of hurt and like any partner you know I do it with her and friends that she's you know she was like you know I love you and I care about you I just don't want to see you hurt.
So I was like, yeah, makes sense. She's like, no, do not be friends with her.
I think that's what people think about me. What? Or like, because of all the fallouts.
It's not, I'm just here to say it's not always my fault. Your, your situation's like very interesting because like of your life, like people gain from being friends with you.
Right. So like, so it's a very hard thing to decipher of like, what is real and what is not.
And so like, even if they are real friendships, there's never not going to be a doubt of that being a real friendship from your end just because you've had so many people come through your life that like have used you as a friend. Right? Well, I'm sad if Leah thinks that we're not going to make it.
No, she doesn't think that. Well, she doesn't, we don't follow each other on Instagram, which makes me sad.
So why don't you follow her? Because I wanted to test, I wanted to do a pulse check. She likes you.
She just doesn't want me to get hurt, which is fair. She just says, like, you know.
How does she feel about us having made out once? I don't know. Does it bother her at all? Why would that bother her? I'm just making sure, you know what I mean? You know what worries me? What? That I'm going to try to make out with you? No.
I would never disrespect you or Leah like that. No, you know what worries me about becoming friends with you again?

No, I don't. Tell me.

Is that...

So are we not friends now?

No, we are.

But, like, it hasn't been very public yet.

You know what I mean?

We haven't been friends since 2020, right?

And then...

Even, like, before that...

What?

2020, like...

January.

January, February 2020.

So... Leah and I broke up for a month or two.
Um, like two years into our relationship, three years into our relationship, you were kind of around for that. Um, and I had my own journey of some one night stands throughout that process.
Men or women? Women. Okay.
I wasn't sure. And so what scares me is that like when I speak about Leah, I say we've been together for eight years very like confidently because we have, we don't talk about the intermission.
We don't like. You're afraid those people are going to come forward.
Yeah. And they're going to like come forward and be like, that girl's a cheater.
No, because we'll just explain like, well, yeah. And Leah knows it too.
It's not like I hid that from her. Like, so then what are we worried about? I don't know.
I don't want people to think I'm a cheater. So you're not a cheater.
You've never been. You've literally never been.
As long as I've known you. Yeah.
And I also don't want people to think that like our friendship or me specifically is disrespecting your relationship and your marriage in any way because I just think it's like we just have a good time and we're funny. Yeah, I wouldn't put myself in a situation that would disrespect my marriage.
So I don't want people to like think that our dynamic. Isn't that crazy that I said disrespect my marriage? No, that's, I didn't, to be honest, Becky, I didn't know if you'd ever get married.
I didn't know if I would ever get married either. You've been good luck, Chuck, for our entire friendship before we fell out.

And so then I was like, damn, like what is good? Yeah. Kale and I were just talking to some of our friends not that long ago about our hair and how we feel like it's thinning.
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Prices subject to underwriting and health questions. When you were talking about the people coming forward, like while you guys were broken up or whatever, that's kind of what I thought might happen about like our friendship, like people coming forward and like one specific person I have in mind coming forward and being like, Oh, well she said this, this, and this.
Yeah. It's like, I already know.
Yeah. So I just want that to be like, I want to make that very clear.
I'm not like concerned because like, it wasn't what you said was not that bad. Yeah.
It was just like, it wasn't the things I said because I was conscious about that

it was the things that I allowed other people to say oh I don't care about that you can't control

what people say yeah but like even though we weren't friends like it like makes me feel

uncomfortable like it was almost as if we were friends right like I don't like hearing people

talk shit about people I care about and so I don't know past is past I'm not it is what it is

Thank you. Almost as if we were friends, right? Like, I don't like hearing people talk shit about people I care about.
And so, I don't know. Past is past.
I'm not. It is what it is.
Well, I just want us to be prepared if it does happen. That's all.
That's all I'm saying. United front.
Just like I tell my kids. Yeah.
We're a united front. I hate his guts, but united.
Yeah, so. And it's also funny because coming back in to your life now, you have different relationships with all of your baby dads.
So can I update you? I would love it. So Joe and I didn't do not have a good relationship.
Um, we get along absolutely when necessary. Um, Javi and I are email only.
We get, we're very cordial, very civil. And then Chris and I, we also only communicate through the Talking Parents app.
So we don't communicate via email, text, calls, nothing. So it's like all like, no, no, no, you're laughing.
But like, this is a best case scenario. No, I'm just laughing because I don't like really talking to anyone.
And you have to communicate with four four or five what is it? Four. It's three and a half because Elisha, he just doesn't talk by nature so.
Four people like Elisha is sort of like Leah but in male form but he's not as cute because, like he's cute but he's he just doesn't talk because he's just not like a social person.

But like an angel. Do you know what I mean?

Like Leah's an angel and Elijah's an angel, but he just,

like, I don't even think he's coming tonight.

Oh, really? Yeah, I have no idea. I don't think so.

Because he was like, I'm not, if you forgot anything, I can't

ship it. So I'm assuming that means he's not coming.

But like, also we have

seven kids, so it's fine.

Outside of that, I'm trying to think, so he owns the house in front of me so we share a driveway that's how i met him but prior to that without knowing his uncle had been doing landscaping for me for like three years so when i took him out to the house to where that i was building i was like hey like can you give me an estimate on what this would cost for like landscaping and stuff and he was like this looks really familiar i think my nephew bought the house in front of you. And I was like, hey, like, can you give me an estimate on what this would cost for, like, landscaping and stuff? And he was like, this looks really familiar.
I think my nephew bought the house in front of you. And I was like, oh, like, how old is he? And so that's kind of how that transpired.
I'm trying to remember, like, what... And you're happy? Yeah, I think, simultaneously, I mean, obviously, what I meant by, like, the dad thing, the best case scenario is just that, like, we don't have communications and, like, there's no lines being blurred.
I think overall I wish that I had a better relationship with them for the kids' sake. But outside of that, I would say things have never been better.
I don't have a live-in nanny, despite what people think. I'm going to get a live-in nanny.
As you should. Okay, what were you saying? It was weird being in...
No no i said it like feels so weird being in your presence but like it also feels like i saw you yesterday you know what i mean sort of like we picked up where we left off for sure but like it's also like weird like it's it's like weird but i don't know it's so silly we feel like we are the evolved versions of our friendship before, like the better versions of our friendship before? I don't know. Do we feel like we are the evolved versions of our friendship before?

Like the better versions of our friendship before?

I don't know if that we've reached the level of a better friendship yet.

No, no, no.

I mean, I mean, like us as people were the better versions of ourselves before, but our friendship.

Yeah.

Could be, I should say.

Yeah. Would be the more evolved version of what I think our friendship could be, I should say, would be the more evolved version of what it was before.
I think our friendship could be a more evolved version based on the people we are now. I would be lying if I said that I would not be sad if we don't end up being real friends again.
I feel like we're on the right steps.

Road to redemption,

baby.

Road to redemption with Kale and Becky.

So,

okay,

let's go over the show really quick before we wrap this up.

Okay.

So,

I go out.

Yeah.

Introduce you.

We'll do this in soundtrack too,

but I just like for you.

Yeah.

I just want to know, like, are we going to have enough to talk about for the full 20 minutes? We're going to basically re-talk about what we just talked about, but live. Are you open to if other things come up, we're okay to say them? Am I allowed to say that you slept with more men than me? Yeah.
Do you think people are going to laugh? Yeah. I'm scared they're not going to.
You've been doing this longer than I have. So like.
I know. But this one's really different.
Yeah, but people think you're funny. Like you're like people think you're funny just in like general.
So like how you deliver things is funny. Okay.
So. Okay.
And we also don't really know what's like some of the things we don't know. Like we don't know the true and false that are going to be there.
We don't know the trivia questions. We don't know, like there's things we don't know which leaves room for humor.
Yeah. I'm just nervous because every show has been so different that I'm so nervous every single time.
And like my biggest thing is I know I'm not a comedian, but I want people to laugh. And if they don't laugh, to me, is a sign that they're not having a good time.
Do people laugh at your other shows? Yeah, we've had a really good time at my other shows. But I'm just scared because this one is so different.
Yeah, but it might be, like, welcome different. Like, there are going to be moments of laughter.
Like, it's going to start in a more serious, like, fashion, right? Do you want to see how I started my other show, my last show? Sure. I need to show you because I just got the video back on the car, in the car on the way here.
And Chandler thought it was the funniest thing ever.

Chandler is the videographer.

So in case anyone's listening to this and wondering who the fuck I'm talking about.

Go Chandler.

Chandler is so fun.

He's so funny.

I truly, the driver that I had on the way to Philly was so fucking funny.

He also had six daughters and one son.

Opposite.

I said, does he have said does he have he cusses does he have five four baby moms well we didn't get that far um so it's possible he also said that his parents had six sons and one daughter so the opposite of him but the same as me so i was like so basically i'm your long lost daughter it sounds like um okay but you have to see this fucking dallas this is how we open the

show

Thank you. No, but like, I don't remember what we're, what are we coming out to? You're coming out to I Kissed a Girl.
Yeah. So should we just start singing it? Like, should I sing it in the mic while you're coming out? Yeah.
I'm just being, I'm a lesbian again. We're, we, I've always been.
I've always been. It doesn't just like go away, Becky.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. So we we'll do this show we'll go through everything in soundtrack if we change anything we can change it in soundtrack yeah because we can i just want it to be a good time so we can speak to like first 20 minutes is us talking right we probably shouldn't go into much detail about like assumptions people have made of us in that 20 minutes because those are going to come up in the true true or false okay you know what i mean so like we'll speak through our separation we'll catch up on life of like where we're at because like we can both you can ask more questions about like leah about my dad about what like whatever it is in the in the beginning that first okay separate from, so I'm going to introduce you.
So it's like, I come out, I don't remember what song I come out to. I'll figure that out at soundcheck.
Introduce, I'm going to say, the OGs will know when my special guest comes out. I might say something to the audience and be like, hey, what's your name? And then we're going to hug or we're not going to hug? Yeah, I'm going to grab your face.

Like, I'm going to kiss you.

Wait, you are in the audience.

I know.

I'm going to come up.

Wait, oh, my God.

No, I have to get in this right frame of mind.

Okay, time out.

I'm going to say, are you all ready to have a good time?

Does anybody object to having a good time?

Yeah.

You stand up.

And I say, I object.

And then they're going to start playing I Kissed the Girl. And I'm going to come up on stage.
We're going we're gonna hug and then i'm gonna grab your face like i'm gonna kiss you okay but i'm not i might kiss your cheek i'll go okay what if i turn my head and that would be an accident because i'm awkward you know that yeah um okay and then and then you'll be like this is becky you guys might remember if you don't get the fuck out I want to sit on the left side of the stage so like if we're up there it's the left like if we're facing the crowd we can even argue about what like side to sit on like banter about it so people are looking at the stage you're on the right yes exactly okay so that's a wrap on this conversation and we will finish the conversation on stage. We're going to go live.
Yeah, and then we'll have hopefully some more conversations after. Sounds good to me.
Becky and I wanted to get on this recording because we had a pretty emotional reunion, at least on my end, for our live show the other night. I cried and she didn't.
No, I cried and she didn't. Yeah.
I'm on a lot of, like, I just feel like I'm on a lot of hormone shots right now or not hormone technically, like shots for IVF stuff. And like, I'm at baseline, a very emotional person.
Like, cry like that. I think the shots have likeed me out where like if they're kind of taking them away a little bit no I think that makes sense that's fair because I was also like but I also was like so nervous like I was like shaking no we both were like both of we were like trembling we were like trembling I was like oh god after show, I flew out to LA.
Becky went back home to New Jersey. And so we're recording a little catch up after the show.
How do you think it went? Much needed because listen, that was one of the best nights of my entire life. No, I said, I typed that in my caption when I posted and I was like, I don't want my kids to feel like they were less than because like, obviously they're the best days of my life.
of my life. No, I said, I typed that in my caption when I posted and I was like, I don't want my kids to

feel like they were less than, cause like, obviously they're the best days of my life,

my life. But that was one of the best nights of my entire life.
My exact thoughts were, how can I say this without discrediting my wedding? I just had like of my life like all around but like I haven't felt like first it was so nice to just be back in that element with you even just to be back around you right like we have a vibe around us that like I feel like only really comes out or at least for myself that really comes out when I'm with you. And the element of like engaging with the crowd and like talking and just like yapping back and forth.
Like I felt so alive. Like I felt like the best version of myself.
You know what I mean? No, I, but you know what? We are both individually the best versions of ourselves. I feel like we did so much growing over the past five years.
And I just feel like if it happened any sooner, it might not have been as good as it was. No.
Like I personally, I think out of the almost five years that we didn't talk, I did the most growth in the past two. So I know that your life and you as an individual got better at the end of 2020 and your life kind of went like up from there.
But for me, I can't honestly say the same. I think for me, it's been the last two years.
Probably I would say like right after I had Rio, my depression, I don't know if it was like the hormones or what it was. And I I've been pretty open about my depression when I was pregnant with Rio for some reason that when I got pregnant with the twins, I don't know if it like balanced out the hormones that were fucked up when I was pregnant with real.
I'm not really sure, but I would say like the past two years, like my, the pregnancy with the twins. And then after the twins has had absolutely been like my best like era, you what I mean so I just feel like even before that I don't think that we would have had such an incredible night and I will say that I'm I am a little bit insecure about how Leah feels about me like I'm still insecure about it because I know like I'm gonna cry I know how important she is to you.
And so I like,

it'll make me so sad if she's like not really a fan of me or like coming

back into your life.

No.

So,

um,

I,

and you know,

I value Leah more than anything in this world.

Like,

yeah,

of course. Stop getting emotional.
I can't help it. Like I love her beyond like anything.
I respect her. I value her.
I would never cross any lines that like she didn't feel comfortable with. And so obviously with like us, there's a lot that comes with our friendship there's a lot of speculations there's a lot of like just like how we interact too like how we interact is is like much different than how I interact with like my other friends um and so Leah and I had like a bunch of conversations around this because I wouldn't have like, I guess there's two separate parts, right? Like our friendship is one thing that wouldn't have to do with like the public eye type of thing.
Um, and like any good partner, Leah was just like, I love you. You are a forgiving person.
I am not. I watched you very hurt from the end of your

friendship. And I just want you to be careful.
I don't want to see you hurt again, which is valid. Right? I mean, you just talked to her.
Leah's a fucking sweetheart. I know.
She's an angel. Yeah.
So she respects me and my decisions and has no like reason that i shouldn't like be friends with you again she's just uh i love you so much like i just don't want to see you hurt even when and then yeah the other the other side of it being like the public side right like i didn't have to come into your life and just automatically come back into the public eye as well. I just like attention.
So why wouldn't I write like. Okay.
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I mean, I just just I think Isaac felt this I mean obviously Isaac doesn't know the same details that like you and I know or or Leah knows or Kristen knows right like he doesn't know he has no idea why we weren't friends like he truly none of my kids do but yeah Isaac was like I just don't know. we said this on the podcast right like we we don't know how it's gonna go and when neither one of us wants to get hurt and our loved ones don't want to see the other one get hurt and um you know he was apprehensive about it but I think he he was on board I I texted him last night because or was it last night I think it might have been yesterday like after we talked hold me pull it up.
He asked me how the show went. And I said, Becky said the hardest part of our friendship breakup was losing you.
And he said, and he said, I'll never forget her. And he put this little emoji.
And I was like, Oh, this is going to be a little, an emotional reunion at some point. I will cry when I see him he's just I don't know he I just he's like our two person your personality and my personality and a child like you know what I mean because you're like outgoing and fun and all the things and I so is he but I'm also an introvert but he's all don't know, but I I'm just glad that we reconnected.
I'm glad that it was, um, I don't know. It's, it's like we picked up where we left off, but two completely different people.
And I just, I love that. And I, I want to make sure that we do, we take care of our friendship and, and put what we need to put into the friendship, if that makes sense, so that we don't make the same mistakes.
And I'm actually not worried about it. Like I really feel like we're different people now.
Yeah. I think that's why I'm not worried is like, it's not a part of my character anymore to like, to be anyone other than like the best version of myself.
Right. Like, and be a good friend and be like, communicate, like hold on to those friendships.
So I'm not, I'm not worried about it, but, um, it was funny because when Leah and I were talking about the other side of stuff, right. You know, doing this tour with you, just allowing ourselves to be more public together.
Her biggest concern was she was like, Becky, what if like, what if people are mean to you?

I mean, it's a good point. It's a valid point.
She's like, what if people are mean to you and you're sad? And she's like, I don't like, I was just like, Leah, I was friends with Kayle. I was, we were obviously friends for like 10 years.
And there was like a time in the early of our friendship that I, like you have to navigate on social media and like learn how to like pick and choose like what you read and what like goes on in there. But I just thought it was cute because she was like, I was cracking up because our TikToks that we made, if you guys haven't seen them yet, you can go over to my TikTok and we made some TikToks and one of, actually both of them are, I mean, I, I didn't, I knew people would be excited for us, but I didn't think they would below, I mean, both combined, I think they're over 10 million views.
And I just like, wasn't prepared for that. Like I thought like slightly viral maybe, but like, I didn't even know if we'd have million.
Right. Cause like it's been five years and so much has changed in five years.
So I was like, do people remember her? Do they not remember her? I don't know. So, um, I was scrolling this morning and someone said, I can't stand Becky.
And I was like, Oh, what's he like? I was just trying to be funny. And you were like, bro, don't, what did you say? Don't egg them on or like, don't entertain.
Did you know that person or they're being a dick? No. Yeah.
I was just kidding. I was like, I'm like, there's probably like 500 comments and there's only one negative comment and Kale just entertains that comment.
Like, oh, give me the date. Like, no, I did respond.
I responded to a lot of positive ones because people were like um I I posted myself and my feelings before I not like when I knocked on your door and then I cut it off like I didn't put anything else and people were like don't leave us on a cliffhanger and I responded and I was like hey like I we're gonna I'm gonna post you know the part two next week um so it'll be you know up today it'll be up today no no like. Um, so it'll be, you know, up today.
It'll be up today. No, no, no.
Like when this airs, it'll be today. Your face was like, I'm not prepared.
Yeah. Um, no, I, I, you sent that to me.
I was doing something. So I saw a little later and, uh, it was so cute.
It actually made me feel emotional. I was like, this is like really smart.
Smart. That was, that was your reaction was this is really smart oh no no right now that was my reaction oh being really emotional and i was like oh this is like like like that look at her look at us look at us my hands open like a book but i love.
But I love that we're both book girlies. So that's exciting.
We have that in common. We both have tons of animals.
We do. But the book thing, I just started reading.
The past 15 years I've spent in the – actually, no, 10 years, maybe even five. I've spent in the self-help realm, so I've only read self-help books.
And I picked up my first fiction. Is it nonfiction? Fiction.
Fiction book. Nonfiction is stuff that's true.
Shout out to my best friend, Spencer. He was like, Beck, you need to read this book.
I know the movies you like, you'll love this.

And so I read fourth wing and I have read seven books in like a month just from that.

I need you to join Goodreads and we need to follow each other on Goodreads.

I did follow you on Goodreads. Oh, you have a Goodreads.
Can you send me your link?

Yeah. No, I didn't um your friend ryan yes is one of my favorite people i love him no like i want him to come on tour as like a hype person like when i do tour in 2025 like i want him to be the hype like i just love his energy he's just i love him.
Cal do you know what he does for work? I saw that he like is a barber maybe? No he's a female hairdresser. Oh.
So like you could take him on tour and he could do your hair on tour. Shut up.
Hold on because Let me go look at his thing.

I followed him.

Hair.

Harley and hair.

Hair and a Harley.

But he's also a barber?

He does more females.

He's like.

He's not a barber.

Like he'll do male hair.

But he's like.

His specialty is females.

He grew up in the salon.

His uncle owns it. So he's.

He grew up in that.

In like the salon world.

So he's been.

Doing it since he's 13.

Wait, I'm obsessed with him. Yeah.
I'm actually cutting all my hair off when I get home from LA. Okay.
I feel like that doesn't matter to me. Ryan also Ryan this, this, I said this at tour, like the biggest testament to who Ryan is, is Ryan married Leah and I, and like, we wouldn't have chosen just anyone to marry us.
And then my best friend Spencer's getting married soon and he's, Ryan's marrying them too. So like.
Wait, I know Spencer, don't I? Yes. hold on I'm going to look because I I am like trying to put the amount of people that I've met over the past couple months I'm like I don't know how I'm going to meet like we talk a lot on the other podcasts about like maintaining like relationships and friendships and all the things and like I truly don't know how to maintain every single relationship with like the more that I'm happy the more I'm open-minded to entertaining other relationships it's just like so fucking hard but i feel like i remember spencer so hold on he came to that dinner that someone jumped on the table okay oh i know spencer you guys went on you guys just went to mexico together for spencer's bachelor party i'm in spencer okay yeah okay i have to give a speech that I still have to write for the wedding um I'm nervous I'm gonna cry Spencer was uh was a part of like our wedding too he did like a part of our ceremony um it was I cried my the entire like day of my wedding I mean obviously Leah you've been in love with Leah for almost 10 years.
Like obviously you were crying. Someone messaged me and was like, did you go to Becky's wedding? I said, we weren't friends.
Like we weren't. I know.
I was thinking about that too. Cause I watched my wedding video often and I got like sad the other day.
I was like, I wish, I wish like we would have had rekindled. I wish Larry would have died a little earlier so we could have rekindled no just kidding Larry's my dad I cannot um Larry is Becky's dad and um my friend my hairstylist my friend Taylor also became friends with Becky through my friendship with Becky and she I was actually in her chair in her salon when she told me that your dad passed and so I I was sitting there getting my hair done.
And I was like, I literally looked at her and I was like, I, I, I don't know how to navigate this. Like, I don't know what's too personal.
I don't know. I don't want it to be fake.
Like, I don't know how to do this. And so I thought the best way to do it was to comment because I was like, I don't like, I just truly didn't know how to navigate it.
And so, um, shout out to Taylor because if she didn't tell me that, like truly divine intervention, because if she didn't tell me that, I don't think I would have known. And I don't think that I would have necessarily reached out, but I've said it a million times and I'll tell you again, it's like, I could not bring myself to look at your profile.
Like I thought about you on a regular fucking basis, not just you, but like you and Leah, like, I wonder if they, I remember somebody telling me that you got engaged, I think like someone might've told me that. And I was just like, wow, like, like so much is happening.
And then just, I never, I couldn't look because if I looked, I would have went down a rabbit hole and stayed there. And I think that I have a lot of insecurities and I get really emotional about my friendship fallouts because I think that's so the, I think the greater narrative, like I'm not saying this to like focus on the trolls or the negative, but like people typically think that it is my fault.
Like I am the common denominator and I can't, I have to acknowledge the fact that I am the common denominator with my friendships. And when you look at the other girls on the show, like, um, you know, Chelsea or Leah and things like that, like none of them have public fallouts and none of them kind of have that same common denominator issue with like their friendship fallouts.
And, um, what's interesting is in my opinion, and I don't know if I'm biased, you could maybe speak to this a little bit is that I really just don't think that I am the problem every single time. Like I think either it's like a mutual thing or like people do me dirty.
Yeah. And I just, ours was mutual.
Um, I don't think that it was me being the problem. I think, you know, and you could, you've been there for all, like some of my bullshit, you know, Bone and I fell out because I was not in a good place with Chris.
And so it was like taking a toll on her. I wasn't being a good person, but like it wasn't just because I'm a shitty person at my core.
And I think that's what people think. Yeah, no, I think that like, unfortunately your life is lived a lot differently than the normal person.
And you also put your friendships a lot more publicly, right? So like Chelsea and Leah and them don't, like I don't even know who their closest people are to them. I guess I do.
I mean, I know some of them are, but I think that I like put them front facing more. Correct.
Yeah. But like, but with that, like you get put in a lot more situations.
I can

resonate with bone so much. Cause like those were all added things to our, our relationship too.

Right. Like, so you, you take you as a person and put you inside a toxic relationship and like

me being something like we were friends when I was still either in a toxic relationship or

I'm sorry. a toxic relationship and like me being something like we were friends when I was still either in a toxic relationship or coming out of a toxic relationship like Leah's the first healthy besides like my early on relationship um Leah's the first relationship that I haven't been in a toxic relationship and it took me two years inside that relationship to even like, like manage those feelings and those thoughts and even longer into that.
So like I was healing myself of toxic and you were in toxic and that was like overwhelming at baseline. And so you have all these external factors that come along with being friends with you, right? Like you having to question like people's loyalty,

you having to question of who's going to go run and talk to the media about your life

because like there's shit about you

that like people want to know,

like who's there really, who's there not really.

And even if you have someone that like is there for you

in like the purest sense,

it's not easy for you to be able to navigate

that thought process

because like that's just naturally something that you've like the cards you've been dealt in your life that you have to go through. So like, there's just like, there's so much that adds up to your life specifically that makes things 20 times worse.
Right. Like, well, what's interesting though, too, is like, I have had a lot of fallouts, right.
And I completely, I'm not in denial about that, but I've, you know, Bone and I fell out and we, we rekindled our friendship and we've been friends ever since. And I don't think that ever gets acknowledged, right? Like people do a lot of times people will come back and apologize to me for things, um, because they acknowledge that it wasn't necessarily my fault, you know? And I'm not saying that I take no fault because I absolutely have a hand in everything.
But what I'm saying is it's not, it's, it's more, I think the situation and the circumstances surrounding like the time or whatever, but like, I just don't think I'm a shitty person at my core. And and I don't I wish that more people would just like I don't know I think I don't know I don't know you're not a you aren't like you are not you're far from a shitty person at like your core you have just been surrounded by shitty people that have made you a shitty person no seriously I like when I was friends with you and I started surrounding myself with people that were around you, like they started making me become a shitty person.
Right. Like they like they started pulling sides out of me that like were disgusting.
And so like you're around that all the time. Me and like not for nothing, Kale, people end friendships all the time.
Like I am not friends with half the people I was friends with. Yes, my core friends are still friends that I've had for a while.
But like, I also lost a lot of friends. Like I've had falling outs with like a great deal of people.
I've out, I've grown in separate ways than quite a bit of people. So like your early twenties, I just, I had written a blog post about this.
Like your early to late twenties, you go through this just like crazy, like change in life of like your friends change, your priorities change, like you're changing. And like some friendships make it through that growth and some don't.
And like some come back and some don't, and both like kind of are fine. Like people ending being friends doesn't have to be like, like this, I hate you.
Like I'm never talking to you again. Like it can be like a natural, just separation of friendships.
And that's normal. Like I'm not friends with some people as close because our lives just don't match up anymore.

Like it doesn't mean I don't care less.

100%.

And I think that that too is like needs to be considered.

How do you feel about friends?

This is like completely unrelated to us.

How do you feel about friends who just dip and never talk to you again?

Like just ghost?

I guess it depends like how the, like, how the friendship was prior. I don't really have people like just ghost me, but like.
Oh, someone, someone did that to me. Actually, it'll be, um, it'll be a year in December.
Sometimes you like never know what someone else is going through too. Like even with us, like I was so, I, we had a dis, we had a disagreement and then I never talked to you again for five years.
Right. Like that essentially craziest statement.
Like it's right. But like, it wasn't the discussion that ended.
Like, it was my state of wellbeing. It was like where I like the shit that I was going through personally.
So I don't know. Ghosting can come from so many different things.
I just like, I empathize with people a little bit, like more just cause like, I've just been through, I mean, you know, I've been through life and you've been through life. So I just, I feel like there's reasons, not that it makes it okay.
I don't know that we, I wouldn't have considered like what we went through ghosting. Like, I don't think you ghosted me.
I feel like we mutually decided to never talk again. Like just subconsciously.
I don't even know if it was a conscious decision. It was just, it just way i think if we stayed friends it would have ended a lot worse like it would have ended in a way that like we wouldn't wouldn't have been able to come back from just with like everything going on given the circumstances and where we were both at in you know just from an individual standpoint i think that it was best case scenario that we just didn't talk again.
That was the way it needed to end. And if, just like you said, if, if it ended any differently, it could have been really bad, but I I'm just glad that we're back.
I'm glad that I, I hope to be a part of your future kids' lives. I hope that you can meet the other half of my children because you've only met three of them or known three of them.
And I think Lux was a baby, the lot, like a toddler the last time.

And, um, Lincoln and Lux are, and Creed, Creed's four.

So he's getting there, but Lincoln and Lux are soccer stars through and through.

Like they love soccer.

They love basketball.

So, and I know that you love those sports too.

So like, it would just be so much fun to, I don't know, have you back and um have them have you in their lives and me and your baby's lives and I still I know that you guys have like some names picked out but I still just feel like Kale is unisex so like I'm just saying okay but it is there is some irony and it was so funny when me and Leah have been talking about names because her dad's middle name is a name that you always said you wanted to name one of your kids. And so anytime we would talk about it, I'd be like, when we weren't like talking, I'd be like, Kale's gonna see this and be like, that was was my name there's a reason why the stars did not align for me to have that name but it's I know truly would love if you like because I not that I I know that it wouldn't be after me or because of me but I feel like it just I don't know it's just a sign that you should use it and I I would be like, I would feel like a little, a little part of that.
Yeah. It's a good name.
It's what's also the irony is like the 10 years of friendship that we had, you were pregnant the entire time of it. And now that we're back to being friends, I'm the one that's trying to get pregnant.
Wait, that's like the, that's the clip that I'm going to request for this entire episode is like 10 years you were pregnant and now I'm trying to get, yeah, no, I love that. I actually love that you let me even be, did you tell Leah that I gave you a shot? Yeah.
Was she okay with it? Yeah. Okay.
I, you know, sometimes like when you're like babies are a big deal. So I just like worry that, you know, if she has something that she wants to go a certain way, like I just like don't want to.
What's her friends that night? And she let her friends do like her show. That's crazy.
I have 100% made the decision off of that, that I will absolutely not be doing IVF for another daughter. Cause I will, I have entertained the idea of IVF to get another girl specifically.
Well, because I, I, I really want Valley to have a sister. Like that's really important to me.
And, and I, Kristen, if you ask Kristen, she will even still to this day, like I, even though she was there and saw me give the shot and I told her, absolutely not. Like, I'm not doing this.
She's like, I still don't believe you. Um, I, me giving you that IVF shot solidified it for me.
I will not be having, um, IVF with gender selection. So you heard it here first.
Cause you don't want to have to do shots. I was in pain for you and I just don't,

how many shots do you have to take a day?

I want to do like a full episode with you on this,

but. shots? I was in pain for you and I just don't, how many shots do you have to take a day? I want to do like a full episode with you on this, but I literally was just talking.
So I, um, uh, we went through seed scout for our donor selection and we'll have an entire episode on this cause it won't give it value to kind of breeze through it. But one thing I need people to know is that it is not that bad.
Like I'd under, if you're afraid of shots, it might be a little bit worse, but like it gets redundant having to, you know, stick yourself, but like, it's not that bad. It doesn't really, it doesn't hurt.
You're like, you're just kind of doing it. It's not that bad.
So don't be afraid and I also saw I've been getting annoyed because I saw like I saw another couple posted like don't do retrievals together like absolutely not don't do retrievals together um and it's like why are you telling people not to do something Leah and I are doing retrievals together and we're having a great time like it's we nothing we're like happy and together. Do you think that you guys can be there for the other, like each of you can be there for the other partner the same way that you would be there for each other if you were not going through that process? So like, for example, if you guys both get pregnant at the same time, are you going to be able to put your all into giving her the attention and love and all

the things that she needs if you're also going through the same thing yeah I think that and we just thought about I don't think I don't think everyone could do it Lee and I are like obsessed with each other like we like I love I don't know the idea of us doing it together is like so exciting exciting for me but also like I've been like severely depressed and like wanting to take dirt naps all the time so I've been through like all the emotions that life kind of throws at you and so I feel like anything that comes with pregnancy I'll be able to kind of like manage Leah I'm a little bit more worried about just because she's like a fragile like she's a little bit more fragile like this innocent like being so I don't think I'll be able to be there as much as I would have if I wasn't pregnant but I think that because of our relationship and our ability to communicate and like our house having two separate floors so one of us can move downstairs need be um we'll be fine okay well I definitely want to do an entire episode about this because I think people would be so interested in just like you want to know the process and the journey but for now um I'm gonna get ready for the day I'm gonna go explore LA for a little while and I love you and I'm glad that we rekindled this and tell everyone where they can find you all your socials your podcast for the haters we're going to plug that we're going to put it in the description tell us where people can find you um everyone can find me on all social media it's all the same it's hater 25 h-a-y-t-e-r-2-5 for the haters was my podcast that I had um when kale and I were friends and we are working on some things hopefully to bring it back. So all the episodes from season one and two are still out there.
So For the Haters, you can find on any, anywhere you listen to your podcast. And they can find your blog on your website, which is? Yeah, beckyhater.com.
Period. I just got into blogging.
Yeah. I did read one of your blogs the other night and I was like,

oh, I love this. Actually.
I don't know that I would be able to do it myself, but I love yours.

Yeah. It's just short and sweet.
They're like two minute reads. They're just like thoughts of life

that I'm having. Um, when I, my dad died, I started doing that anyway.
Yeah. We could yap

forever. So let's end this and we'll be back with a full episode at some point.
I love you.

And Talia, I said hello.