Best of Episode: The Girl Dads Share Their Adoption Journey

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Welcome to the shit show.

Things are going to get weird.

It's your fave villain, Kale Lowry.

And you're listening to Barely Famous. Okay, you guys, welcome back to another episode of Barely Fucking Famous.
Hello, fuckers. We tried to record with the, well, I tried to record with the girl dads the other day, and unfortunately, we were experiencing some technical difficulties.
So we did have to start, stop, start, stop, and then just reschedule all together. So today, I am welcoming back the Girl Dads, Travis and Chris.
If you have not heard of the Girl Dads, they are a couple who adopted a little girl, and the story of how it all came about is so interesting. And now they're content creators.
They have their little small shop. I love it.
I love them. So let's welcome the Girl Dads.
Welcome to the show, Chris and Travis. I'm so glad that we can make this happen again how are y'all last time

we tried to record you guys started talking to me about how your adoption with your daughter took place and how that all um kind of played out so I because it didn't we don't know where it went into the abyss yeah um do you guys mind just sharing the story about how you came about adopting your daughter again for me.

Yes.

So we had,

we got married in March. And then we were in Europe for like two weeks, came home.
And then my best friend was getting married in May. And so we went to like downtown Houston for the weekend for her bachelorette party.
And one of my good friends from high school stayed at our house to watch our dogs.

That Sunday when we got home and she was a social worker.

Yeah.

I had to go back to her blog to like revisit all this.

Cause yeah,

I don't even remember half of it because it all happened so fast.

So fast.

And when we got home,

she kind of gave him like a list of recommendations and kind of like, was like, Hey, when y'all start planning, because we had a one- to two-year plan. Because, too, the cost.
Like, you go through an agency, it's expensive. Yeah, and she was telling us ones that she knows actually work with, like, LGBT parents.
Because there are, like, certain ones that won't. Like, they won't work with you, nothing.
And so I looked at a bunch and there was one that like I really liked. And the first thing you had to do was like a webinar.
So it was a Monday. The webinar was that Wednesday.
So mind you, this is like nine in the morning or so. So y'all are just like, oh, wow.
Like we're going to hit the ground running from Monday to Wednesday. The webinar is on wednesday so you guys have two days to this to start this process yeah yeah and that so that's like completely separate from our daughter like this this was like going through an agency that like it takes a year before you're even able to like get a placement so we were like let's start now because it's going to take a while and it's going to be expensive so like we weren't in a rush yeah and so i went inside and i told him hey look this one that she was talking about i think it's really good the first thing is a webinar it's free so we can literally just do it and if we don't like what they're saying then we just keep moving on to the next and then i'm the world's worst about text messages so like if somebody there's somebody calls me, I'm not going to answer.
Like just text me. It's faster.
The 30 minute conversation that we have on the phone, one sentence. So my friend had then called me.
I then texted me back right afterwards and was like, Hey, this is something that I want to talk to you about over the phone. Can you give me a call? And I was like, she's probably trying to get rid of her kids.
You know, like, like I did not even realize that. He said, he said she's probably pregnant again.
But you knew her. This is the girl from high school.
So this isn't birth mom. Yeah.
This is a birth mom, but friend of birth mom. Yeah.
Got it. But I did go to high school with birth mom too.
mom too okay or also they knew that you were wanting like the one to two year plan was to adopt like everyone knew this like your circle my our inner circle knew like we weren't in a rush because I felt like at the time too like the one year plan kind of would have been better just because like marriage wise, it's our relationship is as difficult as it is. So we wanted to kind of get estimated and then we were trying to buy a house at the same time too.
And then like also too, we wanted to start the process because we knew it took a while. So we were like, got married, let's start the process.
And then during that time period, if something was to happen, it happens, you know, I'm impatient as well. So once I get an idea and my ADD is like hyper-focus on that and you figure it out and let's do it.
We'll work here with that because I'm also, it's like, if I have an idea, I want to do it right now. And nobody stopped me from doing it.
Yeah. So taking my dogs to my brother's house.
And I finally give into calling her. Oh my God, I'm getting anxious.
But I remember her like asking me, she's like, you don't have to answer today. You don't have to answer this week.
But she's 31 weeks pregnant. So we don't have a lot of time.

And I'm like, and she just found out.

Yeah.

No, but 31 weeks.

She didn't.

No, it's, that's not a lot of time.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Did you just say that she just found out?

She hadn't even had her first doctor's visit other than finding out like,

Hey, you're pregnant.

Oh, she went in for like, she went to the hospital for something and they were like for her burn no that was the well that was the first um whatever where you think you're going into labor yeah and so she went for something and they were like um no you're pregnant as fuck did she not show was she not showing um so i think if i like was in her shoes i think it could also be like maybe i didn't want to know in denial yeah okay like this is impossible but maybe so because i i don't know like obviously like not everybody's menstrual cycle is regular. I'm saying.
Right. Right.
Right. Um, so I think in,

if I was. I don't know.
Like, obviously, like, not everybody's menstrual cycle is regular. I'm assuming.
Right.

Right.

Of course.

Right.

So I think if I was her, that was my first guess.

When we first hear.

So she, like, kind of gives him a rundown.

He calls me.

And I'm like, oh, my God.

Speed just says this.

90 miles an hour.

Spill it all out.

I drop out the dogs.

I'm, like, yelling at my sister-in-law everything that just happened and then he gets there he's like i'm here gotta go bye and hangs up on me and i'm like you can't just run past that like you just said like what did you just say this isn't you're not adopting a dog like who wants to give us a child what and then like waits until he gets home to like finish

telling me

doesn't call me when he leaves well because it's so i'm trying to process the words so were you just like what all day you were just like what the fuck was he talking about because you it wasn't it wasn't that long it was like 15 20 minutes but our landlord was coming So I was like still trying to do like other stuff. And I used to smoke cigarettes at the time.
And so I was like outside, walk around like chain smoking, like Googling because I knew the name. So I'm like Googling and looking on Facebook, trying to figure out who is this person.
Right. Because I know like I know nothing, never seen, never heard of like, he, like, went to high school

with her, like, in... Well, you knew my friend,

just not. Well, yeah, but not, like, birth mom.

And so, she's over

there, like, freaking out. I'm at home

freaking out. And I'm like, what did

we do? Like, we just got married? Like, our landlord's

coming here? Because our landlord wanted to put up

his house for sale. That's why

you had to move the dogs.

So he wanted to come, like, he wanted to come talk to us is what he told us and we were wanting to buy it but there was a lot of issues and so he comes and he's like i want to sell it in 30 days um i'm not fixing anything you have the first option to buy it i will not touch anything and we were like okay gotta go yeah so go. Yeah.
So you decided not to buy the house? Yeah. And it had a pool.
Yeah. So my biggest concern, too, was with home checks and things like that.
One, it was an in-ground pool. It basically had to be completely resurfaced, redone.
Two-story. No bedrooms downstairs.
Yeah. And then it was just so much much a train that ran behind the house which if you ever lived near one like you get used to it so like it didn't bother us but to like with the baby you know it's kind of like all right she'll be waking up so in the neighborhood that we lived in it used to be be like a really, really good neighborhood and area.

But like it started getting really bad. Like people were getting robbed and like stuff.
Like there was a really big mall like right by it. Yeah.
And it used to be really nice. And then it kind of started going down.
And we were like, well, we're not going to have a kid around this. So let's move further like out.
Right. It's like a smaller town.
So you guys are basically basing all of your decisions off of this child that you may or may not even take in at this point you're like okay well we have this option so now we need to plan accordingly but also because even if that one even if this would have fell through your your plan for the one to two year plan was to adopt anyway. Right.
So I guess that makes sense. That makes sense to me.
This, the scariest, I will say that was the scariest thing too, is, um, kind of like this whole emotional attachment to, you know, so like once we finally kind of talked to an attorney, got those kind of things ironed out, she got her first doctor's check.

We helped her.

She went through Medicaid because there's certain things we're not allowed to pay for or do.

And we wanted to make sure everything was right.

Like don't just hand us a kid, you know?

Well, yeah.

I mean, you never know.

If someone just hands you a kid, I mean, what do you even?

Okay.

So at what point did you get an attorney then because obviously

she's 31 and she's pregnant you only have first day yeah first day of what that like the day that we got the phone call oh because because we didn't want to we didn't want to because we had already know knew that if you if we overstep certain boundaries or do certain things you can get get in trouble. Got it.
And two, like, we didn't, I guess with somebody's life,

like we're literally talking about a child and their life, I was like, we need to get our ducks in a row, talk to somebody, kind of figure out everything that we should do or have to do, especially like Texas-wise. And then my sister-in-law her aunt is a family law attorney so that kind of works yeah so we had someone like that was easily like accessible that we could call and so it's her and so he was like you know i think before we continue we need to figure out what do can do don't do and then us to think on it yeah we were kind of like you know give us a few days like let's make sure that baby's healthy um and are we ready yeah we had like no idea like because gender like nothing and so they were like you know don't get attached like don't, it could not happen.
She could have the baby and completely change her mind. And then our attorney tells us she was 11 days after to change her mind.
And so we ended up. And she's not allowed to sign.
So from birth, once she gives birth, obviously, like, so we were her first, like, I did skin to skin. He did skin to skin um but she had 48 hours before she could even sign any legal documentation to sign her rights after birth but then 11 days to like rescind those 11 days after she signed to change her mind so this whole time you've already got baby home it like my it's so scary to think even once on your way to getting attached planning to set up your whole room or her room and then even bringing her home and then for her to be possibly taken away was i think the most stressful time yeah those 11 days were terrible because we couldn't tell like we didn't tell anyone we didn't do any signs in the front yard there was no like baby shower the whole time it was just mainly our parents and then like our really like yeah our like everyday friends so did you have time to build a relationship with birth mom or was she not interested in that or how did that work so she was very removed from the whole situation if that makes sense and she which is okay like i like because i do remember her from high school and stuff like that um we didn't run in the same circles but i will say like in private like texting her and stuff like that she like so she's always told us that if she has questions um she she'll be there to answer them and be a part of it as long as she wants to but she also doesn't want to take and this is her and things change over time, so we understand this too.
Because at first it was like, nothing. She didn't want anything to do with nothing.
Never. Anonymous.
And then now, she's kind of gone through a rough patch. So I think now she's more kind of like, to also heal herself.
That she wants to at least be able to write letters and now like for example so like when the blog started a part of it too was for her to be able to watch in her comfort zone kind of like hardly grow up um and then i found this adoption triad group and i was like oh my god okay i've got to leave this group oh that was bad that like it was a bad facebook group and just think of it like a really like bad mom's group where they just everything is bad everything is terrible everyone's wrong and i was like he was just spiraling i was like you have to leave the group and i'm like i can't i just gotta like absorb all this so i wonder just from like a mother standpoint if she didn't want and i don't know if this is across the board for just birth moms in general like some of the ones who opt for the closed adoption like may are like they're almost protecting their own feelings like you know it's i don't know i think she didn't want she didn't want there to be any way for her to get attached. Exactly what I mean.
She knew that the situation and her living situation was not right for having a child. She knew, these are her words, she knew it was best, but I don't think she, I think if she did too much, it would you know make her want to change her mind and so when she got on like the medicaid or whatever she had an ultrasound but they only do i shouldn't have an ultrasound she had a doctor but they only do ultrasounds every like so often like throughout the pregnancy i guess with medicaid well she had missed it so it was gonna be a while till the next one and we were like okay we're just sitting here we have no idea what like what the pregnancy, I guess, with Medicaid.
Well, she had missed it. So it was going to be a while till the next one.
And we were like, okay, we're just sitting here. We have no idea what, like, what the child is going to be.
Like, if healthy, like, is everything developing? Like, are there arms, toes, legs? Is this going to be like a bigger thing? Because you have to know what you're signing up for, I think. And there are people who are willing to adopt people that, you know, children that have special needs.
And then there are ones who maybe know that wouldn't be a good fit for them. And

I'm not saying one is right or wrong, but you have to know what you're signing up for, especially

because this obviously kind of fell in your lap, you know? So.

Well, and like we were looking at, we were looking at homes too, like a new rental house.

Wheelchair accessible.

So we needed to know what kind of house, like, you know.

Right, right. Absolutely.
That's crazy. Our whole life went up in flames in less than a month.
Because that was May. It was around May 17th and then she was born June 9th.
So you had two months. Yeah.
Wait, when did we move in here? May? May 19th on my birthday when i was in costa rica so then 31 32 33 4 5 6 7 but we knew before we knew like a month before moving here so like within a month to two months yeah and then this one's over here in punta cana and i'm moving our whole entire house and And we downsized. In a wedding.

Okay, you get a pass?

Yeah.

You get a pass because it was a wedding.

He was supposed to be in the wedding, too.

I'm in our house and setting up a nursery.

He's a liar, though.

We weren't supposed to move until the next week

when I got back.

Okay.

And he decided, I want to move.

You were going to downsize. You're gone.
And I was like, okay. Okay, we go.
It took us the last remaining two days that we had on that lease for us to even finishing moving just the trash out of the old house that we were getting rid of. Well, I've been in the sun in Liza Minow.
Punta Cana or Costa Rica, wherever I was, for like a few days. I was hungover.
I was sunburned. I was tired.
Right, right, right, right. But you were having a baby to plan for at this time.
At what point did you find out it was boy girl? So it was a couple of months before. So we ended up finding like a private ultrasound place.
Oh, okay. So we asked if she would meet us there.

We paid for it, but she got nothing.

What did they do? They were like a massage place.

Yeah, it was like a massage place.

Like a front?

It was like a front for something?

I don't know.

The tea is hot.

Needless to say, they're no longer open.

Because we had a friend that was pregnant

and was like, hey, what did y'all go to um heartley's done at like i want to go get one and we google it and it was like closed we're not open it was like a sketchy part or whatever so we went and it ended up being amazing because we like we just paid for the basic like ultrasound thing just black and white they were very professional. Okay.
It wasn't like, when you got in there, it wasn't as sketchy. But it was like some, I don't know, they did, like, I don't know, physical therapy, massage things, or chiropractic.
They were very well-versed. It was a very dark room.
So, she finds out at 31 weeks, around that same time, falls into your lap that maybe you could adopt this child. And then, so like, do you remember like how many weeks she was when you found out, like you went to that ultrasound? I think it was about two or three weeks.
And then we did. So like before 35 weeks.
Yeah. Just under 35 weeks.
Wow. And so it was fast.
That happened so fast. so fast the ultrasound lady because so she didn't

want she didn't want to see anything hear anything so she's like first on put in headphones

head away like no one talked no gender like nothing until like after and like she went out

um and so we just pay for like the basic black and white photo thing or whatever well the

ultrasound lady was like i know this is the only ultrasound y'all they're going to be able to go to

so she gave us everything like

Thank you. pay for like the basic black and white photo thing or whatever well the ultrasound lady was like i know this is the only ultrasound y'all they're going to be able to go to so she gave us everything like full usb uh with like everything and stuff and so there was a little blue light like up in the corner i was like sitting there silent it's a boy boy because we kind of wanted a boy just because neither one of us have kind of vaginas we wanted boy.
Yeah. That's what we were expecting.
Like, we know what we're working with. Yeah.
Life is a lot easier. Yeah.
I get that. And then we both kind of stuck there and we're like, oh, shh.
And that's what she told us. And then now I can never picture anything different.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
She may drive me nuts, but I freaking love her to pieces. Of course.
course so as soon as we find out we get in the truck and i tell him can we go to bye bye baby it's like right there and he was like yes please so y'all go to bye bye but at this point you still don't know if like genetic screenings you don't know about like so she had i don't even think she did that there was yeah there because she found out so late certain milestones and like i think this is the dumbest thing in the entire world is regardless of whether she was putting her child up for adoption or keeping it herself for medicaid or chip or whatever programs that we have here in texas like it's fucking ridiculous excuse my language that because every other period or every other doctor's visit may be an ultrasound or not like that's stupid i feel like an ultrasound should be included if it's normal like care you know yeah um or catch her up on things that are important to make sure that she as mom and that the babies are okay like because she didn't know't know you're saying like, if she didn't know until she's 31, I think so. I think there is like a little bit of a, I don't know if caveat is the right word to that, but I know that certain things are only available.
And this is only just because I've been pregnant like 10 times, but literally certain things can only be done during certain weeks. So, um, and I'm trying to think of like the specific one.
I want to say like the genetic screening. I think I did horizon, which is like, I found out that I was an AMA carrier, which is, um, like if I was to have a child with, I think it was called AMA, SMA, something, I think maybe SMA, whatever.
Um, they would be full-time around the, they would need full-time around the clock care if I was to have a baby that had that disorder or that, you know, genetic condition. Um, but they could only test very in a very short window of time for things like that.
and then obviously the gender i think you can find out just about any time yeah but like the down syndrome screening i think is only during a certain time and so some things i want to say it was too late which is scary for you know any parent right like you're 31 you find out allegedly at 31 weeks and you're just like, whether you're going to keep the baby or not, what do you even do at that point? Because like you said, I mean, moving into a home, like you wouldn't even know or have time to like prepare for making things, you know, handicap accessible or boy, you know, a nursery. And what if it was multiples and she wouldn't have known until after 30? I don't know i could do that oh my god like it could change but i don't like i don't think our science will have an accident of multiples i know but like shit so did the ultrasound tech at least tell you from because i know also some ultrasound techs are not allowed to like give medical information so she did she say like things that she basically told us she was able to give us the gender and that's like well before we went she did tell us because she was licensed in it um but like to kind of backtrack to the other point of like disconnecting i'm saying she had 10 she told us she had 10 fingers 10 toes like and so we're like okay like cool all of the limbs are there and so that's it right yeah you're like we're ready to rock we're gonna go to bye bye baby which unfortunately i cannot believe they have closed because we don't have any baby stores now right like i don't know about texas i don't know i don't we don't we don't go shopping everything my baby is done.
It closed. Yeah, and it's closing, too.
So, like, if y'all have another one, where are y'all going to go? Another one. The girl dance.
I think we're one and done. Got it.
I shouldn't have assumed. You're right.
One and done. I don't know.
Every once in a while, I get a little bit of baby fever. And then she punches you in the balls, and you're like, mm, mm.
Okay, we're done. Never mind.
She runs this house, so it's up to her. Okay, got it.
She's been asking, and so we're just like, girl. A cousin, maybe? I'm like, if you just behave, you know, then maybe if you're good, we'll get you a sibling.
You guys can say what my mom told me. My mom, she told me I have to pray really hard for a baby.
And I was like, okay, cool. Did that for years, never got a sibling.
And now I'm traumatized. So if you want to go that route, that's always an option.
Do you know that trying to traumatize, we're trying to not do that. I don't know how well we're doing with that.
Cause you know, childhood trauma over here is real bad. So trying to not put that i don't know how well we're doing with that because you know childhood trauma over here is real bad so trying to not put that like on her too yeah this one's wild oh my god but she's an only child so she she has full rings i think between him he like literally just like melts down to every little wish you know and i'm the one sitting here like oh i see her little gemini self over there okay like she's playing you so hard right now because yeah she'll like she'll be crying and it's like i'll pick her up i'm like it's not a real cry like she's literally faking it it's alligator tears right now just which one real ones come out that you're like i still have to like make sure she's good exactly it's like when he's like he'll be sitting here and i'll pick her up like on the other side and her face will be looking at him and he'll be just like, she's laughing.
Have you seen the Tik TOK of the mom holding the little boy and then the dad or someone's recording it. And he goes like this, the mom like picks him up and she's like cuddling him.
And his face is like towards the and he goes like this to the dad yeah it's like oh that's her that would be her she she is something else and like she like for example if we're on tiktok like scrolling she'll take your phone and she'll like scroll and pick and she's like oh i like this one and i'm like you were four years old you can work our phones better than we can't and generally she can't hear it because we always have an airpod in uh-huh so like she won't even be able to hear it she'll just see it and that's good enough for next thing you know you're on dog and cat tiktok for a while your 40 page is all about how to feed your dogs train your dogs all the things because that's what she's stopping at. So this all was happening May, kind of goes into June.

She's born in June.

Is that right?

June 9th.

Everything is good. Exactly three months to the day we got married.

We got married March 9th.

She was born June 9th.

Oh, wow.

I mean, the stars aligned for that.

Yeah.

Yeah. the stars aligned for that yeah yeah at this point you're like committed to having you know this little girl and kind of talking to bio mom and then she's like gives you the baby at like you guys go to the hospital with her how does that play out so so the oh my god this day yeah so it was before like before that we she got when she got her doctor her doctor was in like she worked at like one hospital and so we called the hospital the most amazing like lady that was over like the delivery part of it everything was free for us what we got it was it was so amazing and for and for birth mom like so basically i don't know how everything happened because I know how expensive adoption can be, whether it's private or whether you go through an agency or what have you.
Like, everything, like, I'm a huge believer in everything happens for a reason. And how expensive birth, like, having a child is.
Well, yeah. But like the way everything lined up, I think the most expensive thing was Hartley's ad litem attorney.
Okay. Which all that came, like...
Way after. And then, like, even some of...
There's, like, an attorney for locating birth dad and stuff like that. But it's just, like, everything was so affordable, like, for us.
And that's a huge blessing because she, like, between moving and planning for her, and it's just like everything was so affordable, like for us. And that's a huge blessing because to like between moving and planning for her in a short, fast period of time.
And after a very expensive wedding. So the hospital, like that, that part was just amazing.
So we were there. But you had to pay for the attorneys or no.
Yeah. Yeah.
So we had to pay for an attorney that does not represent us, represents her only, like Hartley. Her best interests, are we fit? Like, and yes, you're paying for it, but this attorney's like, I don't really like you.
At least I'm going to pretend, but I'm looking out for Hartley. So you have the original attorney that you guys, your sister-in-law, and then you had, how how did you know because it kind of everything fell in your lap and wasn't planned how did you know what attorneys needed to be present what attorneys needed to be part of this what you needed for Hartley like what did you I don't even know how like what our attorney told us and then the court like the court assigned yeah the other two attorneys that we had to pay for got it okay so when when did y'all have to go to the court like at what that ended up being two years later there do you want to skip ahead it took it took 795 days just to get to court no one asked To make it an official adoption?

No one asked where this child was for two years. No one came.

No one looked. No one called.

So who was on her birth certificate?

So we just got that.

Oh yeah, we just got that.

We could have

ran off and sold this child, okay?

Nobody would have known.

Are you fucking kidding me?

No. Birth mom put our last name name like gave her our last name um and then it was just her name father was unknown so but there was never like the birth certificate was never filed for like nothing like nothing like that so she didn't exist essentially heartley didn't exist yeah yeah yeah can you imagine we could have sold this woman into the abyss and nothing woman, this child, this baby into the abyss and nobody would have asked for her or come for her or nothing.
We could have dipped the fuck out. That's actually really scary for like, it is.
We are leaving out one little like important detail. Okay.
She was born in so during right after covid so covid was right after so that like everything just stopped when covid hit but but we're talking about somebody's life yeah yeah like that doesn't stop like i just wanted to get all the details yeah my fourth son was born at home i had him my bed. In your bed? Did you have a bathtub? Abdullah? No, I had a midwife.
I had her. Okay.
I was just like, do you want to give birth in the bathtub? And I was like, no, I just want to give birth in my bed. Did you put some, like, doggy pad things down? A shower curtain.
Oh. Yeah.
So you put the shower curtain and then the sheet over the shower curtain so that it like you just scoop it up yeah i was literally like picturing you like spreading on uh no i'm thinking chicago no it was um i loved it it was incredible but you would think of more so things happening like that, because when I go to doctor appointments now, they have no idea that my fourth son exists because he's not on my chart, right? Like he's not, if I go to the gyno, if I go to the OB, like he doesn't exist on my medical chart because he was born at home. So I would expect something like that to be more, you know, but in a hospital, like I've had several hospital births and you don't have to file for the birth certificate right away, but they do have record of birth.

So. to be more, you know, but in a hospital, like I've had several hospital births and you don't have to file for the birth certificate right away, but they do have record of birth.
So the fact that this hospital had to have some record of birth and nobody came for this child for two years is absolutely insane. For anybody like that doesn't know too, like private adoption wise, it's so different than agency that we were supposed to have done home checks the home check she was born in june of 2019 it wasn't until 2021 when we went to court over the summer i think august we didn't have our official home check interview and it was done via Skype.
Yeah. It was like a month or two before that,

um,

like we went to court,

like in finalized adoption,

we did it over zoom.

We had to do interviews like with the lady,

like us together,

a separate.

And then like,

we walked her around,

um,

our phone.

Yeah.

Oh,

your phone.

And,

and like,

and I don't even think our attorney was fully like the issue per se se, but even Hartley's attorney was like, hell no. But you could have been in anyone's house.
You could have been in any fucking person's house. It was so funny because none of this happened until the judge that was like, for the court that it was in, the judge retired and a new judge came on and was like, why is there an adoption from 2019 sitting here? It's 2021.
What? She was like, she called the attorney was like, we are getting this done. Like ASAP, this, like we, this needs to be done.
I'm speechless because I thought this was like private adoption, but there was like levels right like there was like a process i have um uh one of my one of my best girlfriends her brother and his husband tried to adopt in the state of nevada and they were actually at the time um this was years ago. I've known them 12 years, so like maybe like six ish, maybe more years ago.
They were telling me about how they tried to go the private adoption route and they got scammed. That was number one.
And then number two, they could not go through certain agencies because one of the husbands had a traffic violation on his record and was disqualified indefinitely from the state of Nevada to adopt during this period of time. And I don't know if it was just like that period of time or if it was.
So I was just like, what the fuck? They ended up, I think, fostering to adopt so now they have their two kids that were that are siblings which is really cool um but like the process to get here was just not it was just nothing you've ever heard of but this is nothing i've ever heard of i was just i was baffled because like we used to say all the time we could have sold her already we could have like literally like i don't know literally like she could be the panel for god's sake yeah it was like what really sucked was we couldn't do anything yeah so we wanted to eat her ears for years while she was a baby we really couldn't do that because we have birth certificate we couldn't put her in like any kind of daycare like we literally just now can put her in daycare because we have to have because you you needed the birth certificate and the social security card and whatever else so what was did you guys even have like were you legal guardians at that time like during this time well so it was it was filed we didn't have the actual paper okay all we had was an affidavit of mom signing her rights away yeah so we had temporary guard like guardianship and so we were like we had like full control of everything and stuff but it's still like until the adoption was finalized so over two years someone could have came at any point in time and take it but so what did doctor's appointments and stuff look like did you have to contact bio mom for anything no so all right. So they did have a few questions as far as like allergens and stuff like that in history, like of asthma or things.
But as far as like doctor's appointments went, we had to provide them the affidavit, but they wouldn't let us have access to like my chart, for example, because like we use Texas children's pediatricians. I have myChart, too.
Our doctors here have that. We just got it.
And she's four? They wouldn't let us do it until the adoption was finalized. And then when they wouldn't let us the adoption was finalized andized and we had to have their certificate who named her I took the folder that like a bunch of our papers are in and they wanted our marriage certificate like everything yeah did you face any um I guess adversity like bumps in the road or any blocks in the road because you guys are a gay couple? Like, did you face any of that? Was that part of it? When we were traveling, like, for example, we went into somebody who worked for an adoption agency in New Orleans.
I don't know why we were there. For somebody's bachelorette party or something.
And everybody was like, literally, I would not even bother to try because unless y'all are married being two men being gay they pretty much all said i know you don't want to hear this but don't even bother with it until y'all are married and everything's done changed then start worrying about this process which is why we knew it was going to take a year to two years which weirdly met like a lot of people that worked for like cities and like cps and stuff like a random places like traveling and i'm like random places like what is going on there we got it from like our family too we got a lot of it's gonna be hard for y'all because y'all aren't gonna have like that mother instinct like you're not going to know like because you're not a mom or a woman or anything like that and we were like just kind of like and so like when i was in i know at least me personally i was in my head i was like how are we going to know what's wrong with her like am i going to bond like am i going to see her and her immediately because i do other dads do it they do it everyone's just like you know you're not

gonna have that because she's because you're gay like because you're men and i think because you're

gay okay yeah because that changes the way i bond with a child right because i'm gay

okay i was i mean i was so i was so afraid that like it was just not gonna be like that

but obviously it was they were all full of fun. Who named Hartley? Who picked the name? You did? It was going to be, yeah.
I was so weird about names. So my maiden name, it sounds so weird to say, but it started with an H.
Okay. And I changed my last name.
You should have changed yours. You didn't have a long time.
My mom did. She was like, no, I think you should change your last name.
You should have changed yours.

My mom did.

She was like, no, I think you should change your last name.

And I'm like, wow, this is so stereotypical. so we ended up so like this is also what's really weird is my middle name is ray r-a-y

and my middle name is ray too but it's are you serious so we're here partly his middle name is

ray r-a-e birth mom's middle name r-a-e and-E My first name is Raymond What? My first name is Raymond So it all We have the Ray thing going But wait, so What's your middle name? It's Raymond Christopher But I've never Gone by that's my dad's first name like that's my dad's first name too and it was like his dad's first name i'm not a third or anything but my i never went by raymond i went by christopher you don't look like a raymond unless he's in trouble and he's a raymond um in like the second grade i got tired of writing out christopher and i started it's really long yeah so you just went like people have known me since i was a kid but will call me christopher and my mom will but i've always gone by chris the the parallels and the names between my baby daddy is chris and then my middle name is ray and then all of the race here my dad's name is raymond The parallels here are insane to me, but again, stars are aligning. So you were like Hartley, but where does, cause I live in Hartley.
The town that I live in is Hartley. Are you serious? Yes.
Is it spelled the same too? Is it H E A R H A R? H A R. That's Hartley's name.
That's how we spell Hart. Cause like, I didn be like H-E-A-R-T.
Right. Right.
Because it's like. Because I was like, that's so like cliche.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But no, like Hartley is so cute.
But is it L-E-E or L-Y? L-E-Y. Yeah.
Oh, okay. So the town I live in doesn't have an E.
It's just L-Y. But still, it's so crazy.

It's so funny. You've never heard of anything Hartley.

And then like movies,

there's like now like always someone

like Agent Hartley. There was

The Rock and

I'm kind of mad about it because I thought it was so

unique. It is unique.

Don't let them fool you. They're just trying to

gaslight you. There was one name that we

really liked for like the girl. But every single person was naming their daughter that, and we were like...
What was it, Everly? Everly? No, but that is a very common name. Was it Brookly or...
Brookly? Brookly, but L-E-I-G-H. Yeah.
No. It was something along that lines, and, like, literally...
Pick your name is not easy. We had the longest list ever.
I told him we have to narrow it down. Sit down, top five, boy, girl.
Narrow it down. He's fucking adding names.
You know, it depends on your mood that day. Yeah, it's hard.
And then we compare lists and see what's on there. Right.
And then he was literally looking at like fonts, like handwriting fonts, Pinterest. And he saw, I had said Hartley and he liked the way it was like, well, and then I found out kids don't even write in cursive anymore.
So I'm kind of mad about that. So he was like, she's going to write her name.
So cute. It's important.
Like, imagine if she had like an eye in her name too she could have done a heart for the oh like oh that would have been cute yeah that would have been so cute so it's heartley ray it's the full name heartley ray is so pretty i'm partial to that because of all the parallels so bio mom didn't care that you guys wanted to name like she gave y'all full reigns but gave her y'all's last name on the burst of yeah which she surprised us with that yeah because like we i thought we were expecting her to give her her last name until like the process and all that and we didn't even know that was an option and she gave she that was her choice when she did it's like in the hospital like the day because she decided to not stay the like two days she left after one day and and at first she didn't want to meet her yeah but then the last day before she left she was like can i and i was like yes we were so scared like that was it was emotion filled but i i thought it was too like important for her. We were so scared.
Like, that was, it was emotion-filled, but I thought it was too, like, important for her. Yeah, like, the right thing to do.
We were scared that she wasn't wanting to see her. Oh, you weren't scared that she was going to keep her.
You were scared that she wasn't wanting to see her. If she left without seeing her, we were scared that she was going to want to change her body.
And then, so, like, she brought her a stuffed animal, which we put away, like, for her, and a letter. and I was going to want to change her body and then so like she brought her a stuffed animal which we put away like for her and a letter and i'm gonna start crying um i cry every time she held her and she held her and her birth friend mother um can you just take over for a second birth mom's mom held her to like they came and held her because our friend like called because our friend stayed the one that like made the whole thing happen she stayed with her and she was like she wants to see her and we were she was like can I come to your room and we were like yeah and so she came down and we were like please like we want her to at least see her she doesn't have hold her, but at least so she feels comfortable.

She wanted

what happened. Last push,

we were standing outside the door.

They cut the cord. Anything

out. They didn't clean her.
Nothing.

Immediately out. We were in the...

We didn't stay there, but we

were in the room right next door.

We were standing outside of the room, so we heard her

first cry. The nurse that was in charge for that shift.
Sorry, I'm so cracking. Um, came to our room.
She said, can y'all come outside please? And immediately, and I was like, she changed her mind. She's born.
She changed her mind. Cause like she, the lady just said, yes, she just said, can you please come outside? You just run to the run to straight to the negative stuff yeah i'm the same way like i just want to be going to happen then you're not disappointed you're happy it's more like realism right like you're not being a pessimist it's just like you want to prepare yourself for the bad stuff right like but she just wanted to hear you she wanted you to hear her cry not because she was like wanting to take her daughter back okay so did bio mom know it was a girl when she gave birth yeah i think she i well we don't we never told her she didn't she told us she didn't want to know to know but she may have found out at some point she had she found out because she ended up knowing she ended up texting us about the name like when we chose the name like she liked it so i think she might have asked someone like okay because her mom was in when we found out no so some some topics she would go through her friend to ask us about like i think she felt more comfortable talking to our mutual friend um Which I mean, it's it's totally okay so like i want to say we asked her in regards to if she wants to know then you can tell her like we don't mind these quarantine kids she's not okay i have one i have one i thought only boys jumped off shit oh no especially if they're born in quarantine your daughter is probably unhinged oh like literally she can get in the top flies off things like does not care well she's also an only child so she her imagination is just flourishing you know like she does not help that situation okay i was an only child so i had to do all of the things like on my own so i mean i got too so i yeah you get it like you have to just use your imagination and hope for the best and amazing we're perfect we're perfect and amazing and absolutely no trauma whatsoever obviously no no trauma no trauma never heard that word don't know what that is just no millions have it that's what I read one day yeah I read that one time too I don't know where

but so okay so you have bio mom she does finally meet her and then she leaves the hospital and then did you ever see her again we've we've um we've we've heard from her so we um we told her that we would leave her like like we would let her like be on our friends on facebook so she could see pictures uh if she wanted to look at them oh um but mind you this was like pre us being on social media or like do just like facebook like normal facebook oh wow so you were having a baby and starting your small we started after yeah it was after so we didn't start until 2020 okay right well that's when um yeah so it was like when lockdown happened is when we started to shop which actually works out right because then you guys had like time to like build your whole thing and people weren't even it wasn't supposed to be this was supposed to be a hobby like this was just like a full-time job yeah now it is it was it was his thing he started it like because i was going to an office okay and i was stuck at home like i mean i still work in real estate and i still did back then but it was like real estate i can work from home i can work anywhere unless i have to show houses so like with her i was like i'm bored we got what like every two hours we have to take a nap with newborn and uh like you know like her schedule like there was just so much downtime and yeah like between like feedings and things of you know you you know how to raise a kid she had all these cute outfits she couldn't go anywhere in so we started like you're like what the fuck this girl had more shoes than most women out there and you're like where is she going yeah she's not going nowhere where is she walking she ain't gonna walk she never went anywhere so he started like having her rep for like different bow companies and then he was like i really think i could do this and i was like i'm bored like instead of just taking photos of her i can make them too and then i started pricing out the yardage of fabric versus how many bows i could get out of it and i was like okay real estate minded business person here and let's go ahead and start just making them so we started off and then quarantine happened so then i was home and i was like well i'll like i'll ship the stuff for you like i used to do like i'll package them and ship them out for you like print labels and stuff like that um and then it was all of like because we had like people that repped for us and then all of them wanted me and the reps shirts yeah we came up with a little plan okay to try to talk Chris into like you know making matching shirts for the boats then mommy and me or Minnie and me and so were you on board or you were like no oh Oh, no. I didn't know anything about making shirts or anything like that.

One of my really good friends, she makes shirts.

And I was like, call her.

We'll buy them from her.

See if we're going to work out.

I do whatever.

She has a full-time job.

Multiple kids.

Like, she had two kids within, like, a year.

Like, they're.

Sounds like me.

Like, real quick.

Wait, did you say multiple kids a year?

Well, like, in a year.

Well, because she got. She was.
I don't know. one first one wasn't even a year old when she had the other that's literally me right now yeah no they're not okay but whatever besides the point um i was like she like see if she'll do it and she was like i'm good where my shirt part is and she didn't really do kids like that much she was like i'm good where like i'm at i didn't really do kids like that much.
She was like, I'm good where like I'm at. I can't really do anymore.
And I was like, I was like, yeah, buddy. Like we get to take this on all by ourselves.
But when I do something, I don't have that shit. I'm like, we're buying everything.
We're doing, we're doing the good shit. We ain't doing no vinyl.
I hate fucking weeding vinyl i'm not doing none of that like we're we're

gonna do it we're gonna do it but like i remember the day asking him i was like how do we get the stuff like when you go buy a shirt from walmart i was like i want like that kind of like sticky quality i don't want vinyl where it peels off right and then we've discovered sublimation yeah it was a lot of like youtubing googling because at the time for like what we do for the shirts You couldn't find the shit like on YouTube or on Facebook.

There was no groups.

It was a lot of like YouTube and Googling because at the time for like what we do for the shirt and stuff, you couldn't find the shit like on YouTube or on Facebook.

There was no groups.

It was trial and error.

Is this screen printed?

No.

So it's, that's called sublimation.

So it's ink that when you press it with the high heat, it turns into a gas and that actually bonds to the fibers in there.

So that shit's in there like swimwear. So it's kind of like.
And it coming off like it's not on top of the fabric. It's in the actual fiber.
Yeah, that's what I thought. So screen printing is not this.
So yeah, a screen print would be like. So there's two kinds of screens and like scrape it.
Yeah. Got it.
Or we buy them like where it's on the paper too so then you don't have to like because we can't print yeah we can't print white like so like say that or like this color we can't put it on without bleaching because you wouldn't see it because it goes into the fabric not on top of it okay and so with like there's other screen prints we can we have ones where we just put it so it's on top so it doesn't have to be bleached but we started out just bleaching because that's what like the moms wanted so i just went in our closet and i grabbed a bunch of shit old shirts i threw them outside and i just sprayed bleach on them and i looked god they were horrible too i looked to see what would bleach what wouldn't um we were getting like shirts at walmart at first um like the kid shirts and just trying them out like trying it it took a while like till our first like successful shirt came out looked like garbage and i was like yeah that's it that's the one that's the technique we did a tiger king was our first drop and it we were so blown away because we were like okay hon now like looking back wise compared to like what we do in a day now cells to then we thought we were on cloud nine like we did like 700 like that weekend and we were like oh my god you did it we just did the damn thing and now now it's like that it's full-time yeah taking off yeah and so then it was just going to be for the kids well then the moms like i want matching well so i'm like searching looking for designs for the shirts well i'm like i want that i want that so i bought hundreds of dollars worth of designs for like to make us shirts and you have to wear your own product if you don't use your own product people are not going to buy it you. I wasn't planning on releasing them.
It was just for us personally. Again, it was just...
Because back then, we did coordinated drops, which I don't do drops anymore because I'm fucking tired. She's a lot to keep up with.
Oh, you don't have her on payroll yet? She's not doing the work for you? She can learn how to fold shirts, that's for sure. She likes to try.
And you'll, like, let her help. And then she gets, like...
Feisty, and then she starts throwing things at me, like scissors. Oh, okay.
So sounds like my kids. Awesome.
Love that for y'all. Chuck the scissors.
It's fine. Yeah.
So people, like, have, like, themes. And so...
But I was just doing doing receptress personally then i was like like i bought a lot of shit between our guest room and storage in our office it's a joanne's fabrics in here yeah so like it exploded like we just we quickly ran out of room but i was like let's i think we're gonna have to release some adults, like some shit for not kids.

Cause I have what all of these,

we gotta make them this money back.

Yeah.

And so we released,

we called it Chris has no control.

Cause my name's Chris and I have no control when it came to buy designs.

And so we started doing adults and then it just took off from there.

And then we did,

we started Tik TOK.

I loved it.

I love that. Um, Tik TOK took off for you guys because I love seeing people.
Like, it's so interesting to me how people are able to make a living off of social media. And I love that because I just feel like nobody wants to go clock in somewhere and clock out.
And I'm not saying that those jobs are not good, but there are people who those lifestyles just don't work for some people and tiktok you know tiktok and other social media gives you know people options i feel so i love that so like when when we finally switched over to tiktok like we said we had started on facebook and like had a vip group because of all the brain rubbing and stuff and we like 10 000 people in it when we started tiktok so we had 10 000 on facebook and was growing our public page because like everybody had groups and i was like y'all i think y'all are missing a disconnect here like y'all need a public page so that way you can post your groups but also you're you're a business so you want to reach out to other people and growing that and then some dram happened um finally i just like after all of that going to tiktok and discovering like this whole new world um but it took it took a while like we got to a thousand and then we could start going live so then it was like live every night and then we got to five and000, and then we could start going live. So then it was like live every night.
And then we got to $5,000, and then $10,000. And then we would grow like in spurts.
But we just hit $100,000 in January of this year. On TikTok.
Sorry, the traffic out here is crazy. Now we're at like $170,000.
Yeah, I saw that. I was like, well, that's incredible.
I love that because people need to buy your stuff these are so cute i agree and people need to buy your stuff do you what is your which designs do you want what do i want i don't know don't do that to me ask me like if i want no you don't even have to post or anything weird like that no but i don't i feel so bad like i'd rather just buy it to support you guys you know what i mean well so like i like what i didn't want i didn't send them like just because like just send them for free or whatever i wanted if we talk about the shop i wanted you to actually see of course we're gonna talk the whole people don't understand about i did a whole post this, and I think I mentioned it before in another episode, but like, podcasting is supposed to be mutual, but mutually beneficial, right? So like, you come on my podcast, tell me your story about adoption or whatever, but also get to share your TikTok shop or your small shop, because that's the benefit to you guys. You know what I mean? So of course, you're going to talk about it.
He commented on it, wasn't it? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
I commented on it. No, he commented.
That's when you asked us to be on the podcast. It was that video.
Oh, yeah. Because I don't understand.
And I don't know if you guys have management. But these management companies, they get these viral TikTok creators, which is great.
I think you should have someone represent you for contracts and stuff, you know, don't want their clients to do podcasting because it's not paid, but I'm like, okay, one exposure and two, you should still be doing your due diligence as a manager or an agent to tell your client that they have these opportunities and give them the option to do it or not do it, whether it's paid or not. And I'm just like podcasting in general is typically not paid.
So I just didn't understand. Like I had to go down this like thing because there are a lot of TikTok creators who don't realize how big a podcasting opportunity could be for them.
And they're turning them down simply because they're not paid. And it just is so.
When I saw that video, I, I immediately was like, literally this, this is the exact reason why I don't trust some of these management companies because of the fact that it's not always about the dollar. Sometimes it's just getting your name out there or making friendship or building a community of people.
Just a connection. You never know.
That's what people don't think of. You could go on a podcast and hit it off of that person and then you can collab and then that could be the next thing like 100% blow up like it could be amazing and we get emails all the time about like management companies we don't trust anyone so we're like you're a scam so we just don't respond management companies like reaching out to us and we're like you have a link i'm not clicking that you're not stealing my shit'm like, you didn't spell your ending right or something like that.
Like, there's a few. Misspellings, I will definitely say, like, Kristen will field them all for me.
Well, she, like, does that. And she knows, like, how to point out, like, a scam versus, like, a real opportunity.
But it's funny because I have definitely, like, pushed. I'm like, this sounds, like, really cool.
This sounds really cool. And she's like, Kale, that's a scam.
And I'm like, but it doesn't, but it sounds good. And she's like, but it's a scam.
And I'm like, but it sounds good. She's like, you see this? She's like, I already gave them my password, my bank info.
What are you talking about? I already signed up for everything in this email. What do you mean? It's a scam.
I cannot. I just paid them.
Like we're officially signed a contract. Our life.
No, but that happened to me that I got, I went to, you're talking about being in Punta Cana, like not that long ago. I went to Punta Cana and I, I got scammed into doing this, like, where like you pay monthly and then you're supposed to get like all these perks and like be able to like go to all these things.
Right. It's like a timeshare, sort of like a timeshare, but not a timeshare.
It was just for like the resorts. And I, I shit you not, I was paying thousands of dollars.
I think it was like $4,000 a month. And I tried to book like another vacation at like another one of their resorts and none, nothing of what I paid or any type of point system was put into, like, it did not qualify.
So like, there was no, there was absolutely no perks of whatever. I have no idea where my money went.
I paid probably six or eight months of this. And Kristen was like, that was a scam.
Like I tried to tell you and you didn't fucking listen. And that's why those are the reasons why you should have managers.
Cause you're like, okay, but if you think everything's a scam, then it works out. You know what I mean? Oh, I needed to tell you guys this.
I meant to tell you, um, we were talking about the adoption and all of this and like making it legitimate. Um, I have a friend from Texas.
She lives in Texas and she and her ex-wife got essentially some random guy to come over to their house, go in a cup. And then they did.
Turkey baster. Uh-huh.
But I don't think there's any legal paperwork. I don't think there is like, like he's obviously not on the birth certificate, like things like that.
But like, I wonder just because you guys are men, obviously. So one of you didn't birth your daughter, like how much different, and I don't want to say easier hers was than yours, but like, she didn't have to wait for any of that stuff that you had to wait.
So like one of her friends, she was a surrogate for actually a huge tiktoker that his wife just

recently passed

she

of course everyone was surrogate and then they're like

okay now I'm dead no more and I'm like god

what if we just need a sibling

literally the people that we would want

to surrogate but like you

would never think about asking

then we found out like they were there was two people we found out they were

pregnant like surrogating one was for a gay couple and we were like bitch where were you yeah um it is easier yeah it is easier we have we were friends with a lesbian couple that they did the same thing almost they had it way easier than we did but they did it through uh like a website they got mailed it was like frozen it came in like like a spaceship pod like like nitrogen like dry ice yeah dry ice like it came in all fancy and everything and then i don't know what they did behind the scenes they tried doing it themselves first and they weren't successful and they're like okay now this is getting a little expensive so we're just gonna go so they just had to send to the doctor but they their their process was way easier yeah one of my one of my girlfriends she she's pregnant with her second but i think she used the same sperm from a sperm bank and i think a doctor did it but just like my girlfriend from texas that did it it was just so it because i had so many questions i had her on coffee combos podcast um years ago and i i was just so fascinated because I was like, what about like, kind of how you guys were talking about like the genetic testing and stuff. If you do just meet somebody off Facebook and you're like, okay, can you go in this cup for me and then exit on the way out? And then what about like the testing and stuff? Like you don't know any of their background.
You don't know anything. So like, I was thinking thinking about this yesterday i don't have random thoughts every once in a while that like and then they go into the spiral but so like i was i'm a gold star is what they call it oh yeah i know what that is okay my ex-girlfriend was i always say five stars but for some reason i don't know why so i was like but who would do it and i was like okay a turkey baster doesn't seem efficient so like right for this to come up and then i'm sitting there and i'm like but what if they got something that i then contract or we pass on or he contracts and right i i'm not a goal so i've had my turn i don't you were like that that's not the route we want to go.
Yeah. No.
No. Not at all.
But it's completely different. And that's like, a lot of people, I feel like our friends had a hard time or didn't really understand for two years and like with COVID and stuff, her pediatrician, Oh, we lost a lot of parents.
Her pediatrician was like, if you do not have to leave the house, do not leave the house.

If she does not have to go to daycare, if she does not have to go anywhere, she does not leave your house.

And so we're like, okay.

Well, that was like two years.

If something happened, if she got sick or something and not having not having had the home check or at least like any of the court dates set up or in range. We had no one that we could ask.
Right. And it was kind of like this whole, do we jeopardize it for one good time with our friends or do we focus on what we chose to be as parents? and it kind of like boiled down to if you don't get it, you don't understand it and you don't want to understand it

or hear my side because you're mad it didn't show up to one event or two events until this life is something like signed yeah yeah because people didn't realize at any point during that time someone could have came and took. Just like swooped her right from out underneath of you.
And we were so afraid of, they could have been like, your pediatrician told you not to take her anywhere. You took her somewhere.
She got sick. You didn't listen.
She's gone. It might be super paranoid or whatever, but we were not going to risk it.
There was nothing that was worth having a good time for. There was nothing that was worth going to.
That's something that I think some, you know, same sex couples, women, you know, because they're able to birth them on their own, if it's through a sperm bank or sperm donor on Facebook or wherever, like, so it is biologically, you know, usually half theirs or, or, you know, an egg or whatever, but they don't have that same struggle. So the challenges are maybe very different, but also, you know, some, some, obviously some, some things may be similar, but that one I think was very different from the experience that you guys talked about compared to what she had told us.
But it was just so interesting because I was like, I didn't, I just didn't even think that that was possible for them to have been able to come and swoop right out under, you know, swoop your daughter right out from under you. That's so insane to me.
But I had to tell you about her Facebook donor. I'm sure that happens way more often than people know you know what i mean oh yeah did you meet a lot of people in this like community of same-sex parents like have you guys met other people the people that we talked about before like we knew like we've known before on tiktok i think well rishonda and lakandra stop i went down that rabbit hole today i was getting my car cleaned out went through the car wash and i one of my favorite creators also gay i love him he had like um it was like 200,000 likes on this video and i'm like okay what is this because like i follow him but like he didn't typically get them any likes so let me see what's going on Lashondra and Rishondra whatever I went down the fucking rabbit hole and I was like there's more tea than fucking teen moms and now they're bringing out receipts and like oh it's deep that tea's what the fuck you're like we love them like we followed them and and like they were the first i think same-sex couple that i even found on the app yeah like with kids yeah because most of them like a lot of people that we follow that are same-sex couples are married or what have you um they don't a lot of them don't have kids and i'm like wow y'all living a fancy lifestyle that's i don't even think i like i've been in delaware for 10 years this year will be 10 years and i don't think off the top of my head there i don't have gay friends here all my gay friends are not in delaware we don't have gay friends like well i do well if you've not seen the house I don't leave the house.
My office is in my house. That's it.
Yeah. That's it.

She's. well i do well if you've not seen the last minute unless it's for the first i don't leave the house my office in my house that's it yeah that's it like she's she's full-time and then works and it's like covid totally ruined me like i was a complete complete like you could not keep me in the house now i was an extrovert like i would go anywhere i would act an ass anywhere i would talk to to anyone.
Like, I would do anything. It was pack a bag.
Let's fucking go. All the time.
I think that's awesome. Now.
COVID? Now? Yeah. I don't want to talk to anyone.
Same. I don't want to go see you.
I don't really want you to go here. I mean, in DoorDash, Instacart.
The only time I go to the grocery store is just to get a break, so I purposely forget something almost every day like i have to get out of this house five minutes they'll talk about like hb delivers now like we look let's go there that's one thing we do like anytime we have a video that like gets because we've never like we say we've never gone viral because we've never had a video hit a million views but anytime we have a video get a bunch of attention and we get a bunch of orders we always take like a day and we take her and we'll she loves it she hates it i don't like going to the grocery store i don't like going to the grocery store we'll go to hd because that's our day you've been to an hd because you have family here don't you i've been to an hd but we don't have them here I do have family there yeah not in Houston though I've never been to Houston well H-E-Bs are all pretty much the same now yeah but they're all they're big and so they're they're cool like we've both worked at H-E-B before so like we she loves going and so we'll go but we'll spend like a thousand dollars because I'm because I'm like the grocery store oh the um in this in this? Taking him and her is literally two grocery carts. And I'm like, why did she even come with me? The fact that you guys are talking about H-E-B like mothers talk about Target is just a little unhinged.
Like H-E-B and chill. H-E-B wasn't a thousand.
Target thousand target was a thousand i'm not a target early for like the first we took her for the first time are you not a target girl i'll go like to go but like i don't seek target out ever so like i love target but i feel like target's gotten really intensive yeah target is just really far out of the way from where I am.

So if I go,

I do spend a lot of money usually,

but I don't,

I go very few and far between.

Where,

where's your favorite place to shop?

Online.

She's like,

I don't like to leave that.

I don't like to leave the house.

I'm not buying,