Tracey Carnazzo is #blessed

Speaker 1 As the holidays approach, get what you need to personalize your home with Wayfair. You guys know I love Wayfair.
I did my camper in Wayfair, the playroom, my living room, all of the things.

Speaker 1 They have bedding, bath basics, kids' rooms, home decor, kitchen essentials, living room refresh, whatever you're looking for, they have it.

Speaker 1 And Wayfair's huge selection of home items in every single style makes it easy to find exactly what you're looking for.

Speaker 1 And if you're on a budget like I am these days, you can shop there with a budget in mind. There's something for every style in every home, home, no matter what your space or budget is.

Speaker 1 And they make it easy to tackle your home goals this holiday season with endless inspiration for every space. They do have easy and free delivery too, even on the big stuff.

Speaker 1 So, no more huge delivery fees for furniture. You guys can get big things like sofas, dining tables, beds, desks, and more shipped for free.

Speaker 1 And you can find all of your seasonal must-haves from furniture and holiday decor to appliances and cookware all in one convenient place. Hosting just got a lot easier this year.

Speaker 1 Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.

Speaker 2 That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

Speaker 1 Wayfair, every style, every home.

Speaker 2 Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird.

Speaker 2 It's your fae villain, Kayla.

Speaker 2 And you're listening to Barely Famous.

Speaker 2 Hey, Tracy, you look so pretty. Oh my God, you look so pretty.
No, I don't.

Speaker 2 I'm going to a hair appointment after this, so that's why I was like, let me just throw on a ball cap and throw my hair in a bun.

Speaker 2 I spilled water right on myself right before you came in here, and I was like, it's fucking Friday. Nope, it's fucking Thursday.

Speaker 2 So things are going well. Things are going really well.
And I heard that your bestie is back on Team Mom. I can't wait.

Speaker 2 No, I'm legit pumped.

Speaker 2 We talked last night about who we want back on the the show. Okay.
We recreated the show. Okay.
And it is

Speaker 2 Pharah. Uh-huh.
Janelle. Okay.

Speaker 2 You? No.

Speaker 2 Rachel Beaver. Who the fuck is that?

Speaker 2 Only the best teen mom ever. Wait.
Hold on. Should I Google this? Yes.
Hold on. Her name is Baby.
Rachel Beaver is my little baby Beaver. Beaver 16 and Pregnant.
Oh, God. I love her.

Speaker 2 I love her so much.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 I feel like I went down this rabbit hole with you before. I feel like she's my favorite.
I love her so much. So I'm not your favorite.
Listen, you're not bringing the drama like she is.

Speaker 2 Okay. Listen, you're on there, but here's the other part of it.
You're on there, but it's big brother style. Okay.
And there's no like filming days. Every day is a filming days.

Speaker 2 You get the edit you get. There's no, I don't want to talk about that.
It's like, nope, here we are. So you're on there.
You're in a house and just let it be a free-for-all.

Speaker 2 Well, it's your house, but you, there's no, like, oh, we're going to film today. Let me get ready.
No, no, no, no. Oh, oh, oh, so it's all separated, or we're all in this film.
It's all separated.

Speaker 2 It's all separated, but you don't have a filming day. Every day is a filming day.
They are filming.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. I hate it.
I want to see everything. I fought for.

Speaker 2 Oh, what? Not having, like, having cameras all day long. No, I want, no, I want cameras all day long.

Speaker 2 That's what I i said oh yeah i wanted it to be because i was so tired of recreating things that happened when they weren't here yes and that's when you get the

Speaker 2 yeah i cheated on you i right what is that scene that joe i cheated on jordan with joe and it was like oh yeah and you had to reenact it yes yeah so i fought for like not at that time but like later on i fought for days that would be like okay let's just but it was so expensive they couldn't justify, I guess, they didn't have the budget for it because that's Jersey style, Jersey shore style, too, right?

Speaker 2 Where there's no, right, the bathrooms are the only things off limits,

Speaker 2 and also marriage boot camp was that way. And marriage boot camp, I mean, they even we they could record conversations while we were in the shower.
I love this. See, this is what I want.

Speaker 2 I want to know everything. There's no like, I don't want to talk about that.
I don't want to talk about that.

Speaker 2 No, I want to hear it. But I wanted to talk about it, but fully candid in all the drama, not edited down.
And I'm going to get it.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? So I love that. But

Speaker 2 yeah, I got a call yesterday and it was like, you want to laugh? And I was like, what? And she was like,

Speaker 2 homegirls going back on the show. I was like, good for her.
I think it's like one episode, though. No.

Speaker 2 Really? You think it's the whole thing? I don't know if it's the whole thing, but I think she's back for good. Like, however long they continue this show for,

Speaker 2 that would be my guess, because why bring her back for one? Are they just testing out to see if it brings the ratings? Maybe.

Speaker 2 The ratings are not great. I heard they're like 150,000.
So the thing is, I feel like my podcast gets more views than the show.

Speaker 2 And it's like,

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 2 So why are we doing this?

Speaker 2 Also, why am I not casting the show? Why is 16 and pregnant not back? We need fresh blood. I don't want to see everyone with money.
You know how I feel about this. I want to watch the struggle bus.

Speaker 2 And the thing is, it's like, the problem is the show. I want to cast

Speaker 2 it. Yeah, let's cast the show.
Let's band together and cast the show. Now, here's the problem, right? You're like, oh, I'm not your favorite.

Speaker 2 It's like, Cale, the problem is, is that things are going well.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I like that for you as my friend. I don't want to watch a show about everything being fine.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's like, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 I want to watch like, I, okay, in, I think I, I think I've spoken about this before. In my ideal situation, everyone makes money, but we withhold it it for five years

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 2 and i will keep the bank

Speaker 2 and then after five years i will release your funds but i need to watch everyone struggle

Speaker 2 for five years and then then you are released with with a lot of money

Speaker 2 five years of salary i had johnny donovan on the podcast last week for my pa for my patreon wow

Speaker 2 Yeah, Johnny's back. For those of you who don't know, Johnny Donovan represented Farah, Janelle, Angelina from just

Speaker 2 management, PR.

Speaker 2 Booking agent.

Speaker 2 Oh, really? Okay.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 I think that it gets kind of convoluted in this industry. People are like, oh, that's my manager.
No, they get you booking deals. I mean, they get

Speaker 2 an agent. That's not the same as a manager who's like...
managing what you do. And that's not the same as like a PR person who is supposed to clear up

Speaker 2 things for you. Sure.
You know? Of course. So are you back with Johnny?

Speaker 2 In what way? I mean, non-sexually.

Speaker 2 See, that is a show I would watch.

Speaker 2 No, he reached out. He wanted to be on the podcast.
And I was like, all right, let's do it. And then told me all the things.

Speaker 2 Right, I understand.

Speaker 2 So basically what you're saying is you guys need to join Patreon. You need to listen to Patreon.
This is a juicy, juicy one. Facts.
Okay, like that. 100%.
So like this, I can't remember.

Speaker 2 You've been on tour since the last time you came on the page. I've been on tour.
You've been on tour with Anna Berner. I went to the show as well.
I know. We had so much fun.

Speaker 2 You still kept the secret from me. You really did.

Speaker 2 I was so scared because I was like, people are going to see me out.

Speaker 2 People definitely saw you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The funny thing is, is

Speaker 2 my friend Lindsay came, right? Who you met, right? Yeah. She's very sweet, by the way.
She's so sweet.

Speaker 2 And you were like, we were taking a photo together, and you were like, hey, do you think anyone knows? And it's like, well, I have bad news for you.

Speaker 2 You are nine months pregnant with twins.

Speaker 2 I think people notice. Like, I do think that

Speaker 2 I felt like it was circa 2010 when I was. Yeah, you were like to say,

Speaker 2 I'm hiding my

Speaker 2 firstborn. Here's what you look like.
I just feel like confirming. Listen, you looked great.
Thanks. But if you weren't pregnant,

Speaker 2 it would have definitely been a red flag in your body. I would have been like, oh, I think there's a problem.

Speaker 2 If you looked me dead in the eye and were like, I am not pregnant, I would have been like, I think we need to go to the hospital. Right.
Like, this needs to be biopsy immediately.

Speaker 2 Yeah, something's happening. So,

Speaker 2 yeah, you can't.

Speaker 2 And then you were like, all right, Lindsay, in the picture, because she was taking a photo of us. You're like, don't, don't get anything.
And she's like, okay, I don't,

Speaker 2 I don't know what to do.

Speaker 2 Like, hold up. So, do you want it like you want

Speaker 2 noses? Yeah, like just your noses and straight to the ceiling. Yes, Lindsay, that is correct.
Yes, so she, um, but no, I never released the picture. I never said anything.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm gonna release the picture. Yeah, I'm gonna release the photo.
Uh, no, listen, here's the thing: secrets are secrets.

Speaker 2 I report on gossip that's out there.

Speaker 2 If you told me, hey, talk about this on your podcast, I will, but until but until that's said this is not my story to tell right okay well i appreciate that because i feel like this is a dog eat y'all world you know what i mean like you get but friendship is friendship is separate from that it's like if you can't keep friendship and business separate then you don't have friends this is true um also i wanted to apologize because we didn't get to get we didn't get to get together it's okay in new york there was so much going on and then you're still on tour right i'm on tour i have one more weekend of tour and then it's over so then so how how do you get booked as an opener

Speaker 2 not an opener like yeah

Speaker 2 on an opening

Speaker 2 yeah i'm an opener um hannah and i have been friends for a long time can you guys like you guys both do those like street interviews i'm gonna be in new york in august do you think you can like interview me on the street like i want to be on one of those tick tocks sure

Speaker 2 how do you set that up

Speaker 2 i will uh i'll make an intro and we'll see what happens yeah i mean it doesn't have to be hannah it could be you like i'll have i'll have yeah we'll do it perfect we'll do it so how do you become an um because I went to my friend Matt's show

Speaker 2 I know you were cheating on me.

Speaker 2 I just love y'all like I was like oh my god

Speaker 2 but we're going on tour you and I you guys should go on tour together. So his opener was previously on tour with Chelsea Handler.
So I was like okay like how do you do you remember who it was?

Speaker 2 Her name was

Speaker 2 hold on I'll text Matt. Holly Linnea Holly.
Oh yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 And so she was previously on with... Holly's from the South.
I know Holly. I've worked with her before.
Yeah, so, like, how do you,

Speaker 2 I mean, Chelsea Handler is a big name, right? Like, how the fuck do you, how do you, you, you, I think she, I think she met Chelsea at a festival, if I'm not mistaken.

Speaker 2 And that's where their relationship bloomed. But yeah, I mean, comics look for other comics that they want to take on tour.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And so who are you going to go on tour next with? Are you going to be in Nane and then someone will open for you? Hopefully. That's what I'm working on.
I'm i'm working on my hour right now

Speaker 2 i we talked about this i was waiting for your for your 15 minutes yep

Speaker 2 you're supposed to be working on your set did you tell matt that you're working on your set absolutely not absolutely not i have nothing to offer and i just think about my life as a joke in and of itself so that's not gonna work but i i'll go always cheer you guys on

Speaker 2 i'll always cheer you on but how are you how how i'm green noelle noelle's amazing. Yeah, I've been, we've been, we've been really leaning into self-tanner, and that's our entire personality now.

Speaker 2 I love that for you. What brand? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Every brand, we layer them all on top of each other. Okay.

Speaker 2 We don't care. There's blotches everywhere.
It's a mess. But I do feel like we have gotten a lot more male attention since we've been self-tanning in the grocery store mostly.
She's married.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're just out here.

Speaker 2 Okay, okay. We're just out here waiting to see who holds the door open.
I mean, we're not acting on anything. Right, right.
It's just pretty privileged. Right.
That's what we're doing.

Speaker 2 So that's what it is. And it's like, guys, put a little bronzer on.
It will change your life. Okay.
Well, I mean, I have a little bit on my cheekbone right here. Go crazy.
Right. Go crazy.

Speaker 2 So there's a trick that I saw on TikTok where you put the self-tanner there.

Speaker 2 Why is there a truck rolling through my yard right now? Oh, dear. It's fine.

Speaker 2 And so you put the, so you get like, yeah, you're tantoring. Contour.
Tantouring. yeah.
Okay, so you already know I'm not telling you. I mean, I just put it everywhere on top of each other.

Speaker 2 There's a spray, there's a gel, there's a mousse. I mean, it doesn't matter.
We're just,

Speaker 2 we're just really experimenting. So that's what's going on in our lives right now.

Speaker 2 Okay. A lot of Starbucks runs, a lot of tanning.
We're reverting back to our teens.

Speaker 2 Okay. That's what we're doing.
We're trying to very hard. So we were talking recently about how, you know, people say like, oh, how different our life is from when we were a teenager.

Speaker 2 And our our lives. See, your life is very different.

Speaker 2 Yeah. My life is not.
My life is exactly the same.

Speaker 2 The only thing is, is like, I

Speaker 2 like, I have a nicer car, but like not even that much nicer.

Speaker 2 Okay. Like, what car did you have versus now? I mean, I just got rid of my other car.
Like, it passed on. Yeah.
Like, I had my, well, I had an 87 Maxima, not recently.

Speaker 2 That was my first car. I bought it for $200.

Speaker 2 And it ran for you? That's all. It ran for me for a little while.
I mean, relax. It was, you know.
And then in college, I got

Speaker 2 a Nissan, what did I get? A Sentra. And my Sentra, me and my Sentra were, that was my ride or die.
Ride or die. And I was like, I want to get buried in the Sentra.
I don't care if I'm famous.

Speaker 2 I want this Sentra forever. And then the trunk kept leaking and it was like on its last leg.
So now I have like a small truck. But the car that you've been in, it's just a small black truck.

Speaker 2 It's nothing crazy. But I just feel like

Speaker 2 we have the same lives. We go to the same Starbucks.
Like we hang out with the same people.

Speaker 2 We have not really, there's no children. No, I mean, the only thing is, like, I'm allowed to stay out super late now.

Speaker 2 You don't have a curse. But I don't, but I won't.
Right. You're like, I need to be in bed by as soon as my show is over, I'm in bed.
Like, yeah, I mean, the shows are over at like 10.

Speaker 2 I'm in bed by like 10.30. Right.
You have to be because our bodies are not not equipped

Speaker 3 this season let your shoes do the talking designer shoe warehouse is packed with fresh styles that speak to your whole vibe without saying a word from cool sneakers that look good with everything to easy sandals you'll want to wear on repeat dsw has you covered Find a shoe for every you from the brands you love, like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas New Balance, and more.

Speaker 3 Head to your DSW store or visit dsw.com today.

Speaker 4 Breaking through your busiest season just got easier with the all-new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus.

Speaker 4 This isn't just any treadmill, it's Peloton's most advanced training partner, powered by Peloton IQ.

Speaker 4 Whether you have 45 minutes for a full run or just five minutes to stretch, the innovative swivel screen moves with you, transforming your space into a complete fitness studio.

Speaker 4 Want to perfect your form? Peloton IQ's cutting-edge movement tracking camera counts every rep and corrects your form in real time, making every movement count.

Speaker 4 No more guesswork, just smarter, safer training. But here's what makes it truly special.

Speaker 4 It creates personalized workout plans based on your goals, recommends classes with instructors who match your vibe, and adapts to help you achieve them.

Speaker 4 Run, lift, sculpt, push, and let Peloton handle the rest. With intelligent strength coaching and endless ways to move, you'll achieve more in less time, no matter how busy life gets.

Speaker 4 Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at onepeloton.com.

Speaker 5 Time. It's always vanishing.
The commute, the errands, the work functions, the meetings, selling your car.

Speaker 5 Unless you sell your car with Carvana. Get a real offer in minutes.
Get it picked up from your door. Get paid on the spot.
So fast you'll wonder what it catches. There isn't one.

Speaker 5 We just respect you and and your time oh you're still here move along now enjoy your day

Speaker 5 sell your car today

Speaker 5 pickup fees may apply

Speaker 2 i literally didn't do much one day and i was walking around i mean just doing regular basic and i got home and i was like wow my body hurts like this is weird like this is like my body hurts from doing just regular life.

Speaker 2 I wasn't doing anything extenuous. Well, I feel like, see, the difference is, is like, you have

Speaker 2 22 kids now? 23. 23 kids.
Okay. Also, I will like to say this.

Speaker 2 An old episode of Teen Mom Trash Talk. Oh, my God.
I'm scared. It was in the beginning.

Speaker 2 And I said, We were making like predictions and I said, I hope Kale has seven kids by seven different baby fathers. You said that? I literally said that.
This was years ago.

Speaker 2 You basically predicted the future. I mean, there aren't seven baby daddies, but there could have been right.
And I'm like, oh my, and people are like, wait, did you know that was going to happen?

Speaker 2 It's like, yeah, I knew that was going to happen.

Speaker 2 So I predicted your fate. So I do have to speak kindly about people because I have powers.

Speaker 2 Okay, Matilda. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, so I think right now we're like four, but like it was almost six.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? Yeah. So there was just like a few in between.
Right. So, see, I would have liked that.
That I would have watched that show. It's like, try to get the most baby daddies.

Speaker 2 There's somebody, I believe, there's someone in the Guinness World Record books for that. How many baby daddies? I believe 19.
Okay. Did you apply just in case? I did.

Speaker 2 I was like, let me be a runner-up just in case something happens. But okay, wait.
Most baby

Speaker 2 daddies

Speaker 2 record.

Speaker 2 Your face is going to come up. It's going to be.

Speaker 2 18 children. Nice.
I love that. Oh, wait.

Speaker 2 Hold on a minute. That can't be right.
Hold on. That's not right.
18 baby dads.

Speaker 2 Woman sets record for giving birth to her

Speaker 2 14th child by her 14th baby dad. Yeah, see, I like that.
It's called variety. And you know what? You always did it the right way

Speaker 2 because if you have 50-50 custody, right?

Speaker 2 You just put all the weeks on and off.

Speaker 2 And then there are weeks where you can have no kids. Unfortunately, you and Elijah are still together.
Right. So you don't get like a total child-free.

Speaker 2 So he's on the chopping block is what you're saying. Yeah.
Well, listen, I'm just saying, I know you love him, whatever, but do you want a whole week free?

Speaker 2 Or, or do you build a guest house?

Speaker 2 You're building a new house, right? Yes. Do you build a guest house and tell him that every other week you want him to really bond with the kids? And you know, I think that's a fantastic idea.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Don't make it like a separation. Just make it like a, hey, I want to miss you a little bit more.
And also I want the kids to really get the experience. The workday is not enough.

Speaker 2 So we have to do a further separate no, I mean, he would have to hire his own babysitter when he goes to work. Like, this is not your problem.
This is

Speaker 2 togetheration because it's like a separation, but together right. And I think it can only make you stronger.
Right. I mean, what advice is that?

Speaker 2 I mean, you always do call me for a relationship advice. I give great advice.
My mom said, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Isn't that what she said about my relationship with her?

Speaker 2 So, same thing for Elijah, right? Like, the same should apply since you're supposed to, like, love your partner. Like, from a distance.
Right. Exactly that.

Speaker 2 And make the house so that, like, you can see in.

Speaker 2 Do you have a satire TikTok account? Um, I don't. I think that this is good advice, Kayla.
And I don't know why you're not really taking this.

Speaker 2 So, I last week on, or like a couple weeks ago on this podcast, I was talking about this account right and mid-episode I realized that this bitch is completely sat the entire account is oh you didn't know it was satire no

Speaker 2 and I felt so fucking stupid because I was literally the entire time she was trolling you

Speaker 2 now how did I let that happen

Speaker 2 okay sometimes the best part about those accounts is you go to the comments

Speaker 2 people are up in arms oh they were unhinged like

Speaker 2 oh this is yeah perfect Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then I found out with satire. You should make one of those because I feel like that would be so funny.
And I would, I would talk about it on the podcast. I know.

Speaker 2 I need to, I need to really create some more content. I'm getting bullied by a lot of my friends because I don't know.
What do you mean? Because you're not on.

Speaker 2 I'm not really on the things making the stuff.

Speaker 2 But that's like a stream of income.

Speaker 2 I know, but I'm like a little stupid. Same.
Yesterday, I. No, you are not.
I mean, maybe, but not for that.

Speaker 2 I just feel like the some of my situations in my current phase of life right now are like contributing to the brain cell loss. Right.

Speaker 2 So I've been dealing with this one situation and I literally said to my friend yesterday, I said, I heard someone say on, um, I heard someone say on Twitter and it was like, wait a minute.

Speaker 2 And then I typed back. I was like, wait, did I hear someone say I read someone say on Twitter, but no, I didn't, I didn't read them say it.
And so I'm-this is where we get our news from.

Speaker 2 This is what I do. When I say, like, I read a book and I, it's like, I didn't read a book.
I watched a tock

Speaker 2 you read a book i don't read a book i couldn't even put together a sentence about the fact that i read a post that said i read the fucking post i didn't hear someone type it i didn't see someone say we hear we do hear things in our head you hear people's voices when by other personalities

Speaker 2 i like this now are we going to talk about what we talked about that we were going to talk about

Speaker 2 I need you to give me the backstory. Okay.

Speaker 2 Speaking of TikTok, I'm on tick tock two weeks ago and i'm watching one of these man on the street interviews and there is a man that walks by this woman and he's like you know she does the thing where it's like what do you do for work and he's like oh i'm a content creator and she's like how much do you make a month and he's like eighty thousand dollars a month and i'm like eighty thousand dollars a month

Speaker 2 hold on let me see that what that is yearly so i run to the comments and everyone is flipping out and they're like oh my god that's girth master who the fuck is girth master and i'm like who the fuck is girth master so what do you do i google girth master i find his twitter which as a female i did not know that twitter is totally porn

Speaker 2 twitter is just like you can get straight up porn on twitter like like the porn x n x x but on twitter porn on twitter like if you had a video of you doing the porn you could just upload it to twitter you don't get paid for that right so like what is the purpose i i mean you're driving people to where you're going you know where they're going okay so like if you have a secondary location sure you would advertise on twitter on x yes okay so i go over to twitter and i'm like oh girth master

Speaker 2 i can see that i can see why that is his nickname

Speaker 2 have you seen it No, I have never even heard of Girthmaster. Should I send you a link as we speak on telephone? Absolutely.
Okay, because I want to see how you feel about it.

Speaker 2 He's actually pretty cute, too. Do I need to have this sound on my phone?

Speaker 2 No, it's not really soundy. It's more looky.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay, here we go. He's in the top 0.1 creators or something on

Speaker 2 Twitter. Okay.
How do I send an entire profile?

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So I actually

Speaker 2 was in the grocery store. I know this is crazy, but I was in the grocery store with Noel.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 we found these leeks that were huge. You know, sometimes the leeks are like a little bit small, the white part.
Are you talking about a vegetable? Yeah. Okay.
And I was like, oh my God, look at this.

Speaker 2 She's like, look at these leaks. I was like, please go pose with these leeks.
That's crazy. You look at a fucking leak and you're like, that's a leak.

Speaker 2 Cause I don't think I've ever seen one in my entire life. I mean, me and Noel are culinary experts over here.

Speaker 2 So we were buying, we were leek shopping. We were buying leaks.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 sorry, I'm just trying to get you this link. And I posted the picture and I said, we, and I tagged in the picture, I said, we met Girthmaster at the grocery store today, and he reposted it.

Speaker 2 And I, I was DMing with him a little bit, and I told him that I was like, I might speak about you on a podcast. He's doing the podcast rounds right now.

Speaker 2 Oh, so I should have him on. I mean, we should have him on.
We should have him on. Okay, so you sent it to me? So I sent you a link here.
Oh, wait, no, I texted your your old number.

Speaker 2 I was about to say, I don't think.

Speaker 2 Okay, just kidding. I also just got a cash out notification.
Ooh, I will send you one of those too.

Speaker 2 Okay, here.

Speaker 2 I just sent it to your new number.

Speaker 2 I'm scared. No, it's it's it is scary.
There are scary parts about it. It's scary.
It's exciting.

Speaker 2 There's just a lot of different emotions.

Speaker 2 First,

Speaker 2 oh, just don't look at that one. That one's upsetting.
The second one.

Speaker 2 What the fuck am I watching? What? This is an entire.

Speaker 2 It's porn. I told you, it's porn.

Speaker 2 He seems very nice, though.

Speaker 2 He does seem nice here. I'll send you.
No, he doesn't send me anything else.

Speaker 2 I can't. Do you think our phones are going to get flagged? How do men do this all the time? So the funny thing is, is that.

Speaker 2 okay, I showed one of my friends,

Speaker 2 and she her reaction was, ah, right? And I'm like, isn't it funny how differently women watch porn from men?

Speaker 2 Men would be like, yeah. And every person that I send that to, they're like, oh my God.

Speaker 2 This is the first reaction, guys. This is authentic.

Speaker 2 You've heard it here first.

Speaker 2 I just don't have fucking words. Like,

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 2 I mean, some of the girls on here are great actors, though.

Speaker 2 Actresses, they're, they're, I mean, they're,

Speaker 2 they're just really doing a great job. I don't know about actresses.

Speaker 2 All of the ones that I've seen so far are like, she's the only girl in the world, and he loves her so much, and they're making this, like, crazy.

Speaker 2 Right, but also,

Speaker 2 think about that, and then the physical burden that they've taken on. So, is this the one that Farah was doing? No, that was James Dean.
Come on. James Dean.
Okay. I know your porn stars.

Speaker 2 Right. I need, I know.
No, this is, he's Australian. Okay.
I don't know how he started, but I know how he finished because I've watched him finish a few times here.

Speaker 2 I need to get him on the podcast. You do.
That's what I was. Yeah, there's one here.
There's one that's very interesting. The angles are crazy.

Speaker 2 The angles are absolutely insane, but I guess my question is, like, at what point are you, you've had so much sex and you're having so much sex that you

Speaker 2 are no longer like, first of all, it's not very long.

Speaker 2 I mean, Kel, I think that it's being

Speaker 2 dwarfed by its girth.

Speaker 2 I've never seen anything like this. Look at the last video that I saw.
I'm zooming in.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 I mean, it's heavy. It looks heavy.
It looks like a brick.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 but at what point is it no longer pleasurable or you're literally having sex until your vagina is so dry? Here's the thing.

Speaker 2 When you're making $80,000 a month

Speaker 2 just from some OnlyFans content, not from anything else you're doing, just from some OnlyFans content, you definitely don't get that dry.

Speaker 2 You're just like, being the grand.

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 would have a hard time taking this. So I you wouldn't listen.

Speaker 2 You would have a hard time. I don't think it would be impossible.

Speaker 2 I think that with some Lamaz breathing, some coconut oil,

Speaker 2 and some stretching.

Speaker 2 I don't have any fucking words for this, but why does it?

Speaker 2 It's heavy. Like, it's heavy.
It's beautiful. It's like he's like a scene of him pull, like, take the pants down.

Speaker 2 And it, like,

Speaker 2 yes, it thudded. That's called a baby's arm.

Speaker 2 Wow. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 This episode is brought to you by Progressive Commercial Insurance. As a business owner, you take a lot of roles: marketer, bookkeeper, CEO.

Speaker 5 But when it comes to small business insurance, Progressive has you covered.

Speaker 5 They offer discounts on commercial auto insurance, customizable coverages that can grow with your business, and reliable protection for whatever comes your way.

Speaker 5 Count on Progressive to handle your insurance while you do, well, everything else. Quote today in as little as eight minutes at ProgressiveCommercial.com.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company.

Speaker 5 Coverage provided and serviced by affiliated and third-party insurers. Discounts and coverage selections not available in all states or situations.

Speaker 5 For those who lead by example, who adapt and overcome, there's a vehicle that matches your drive. The Range Rover Sport.
The Range Rover Sport is a perfect blend of power, poise, and performance.

Speaker 5 With its assertive stance and refined driving experience, it's designed to make a statement.

Speaker 5 Want to elevate your drive, activate noise cancellation and cabin air purification for a pure, unadulterated drive, and with terrain response, you're ready to take on challenging landscapes with confidence.

Speaker 5 Plus, choose from a range of powerful engines, including a plug-in hybrid option. Ready to make your mark? Explore Range Rover Sport at rangerover.com/slash US/slash sport.

Speaker 2 So he decided, did you hear? What's his story? Like, have we heard what the story is?

Speaker 2 I don't know much about his backstory. Let's see.
Girthmaster, does he have a wiki? I don't know.

Speaker 2 A wiki.

Speaker 2 I know that he's from Australia. Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay, so he's making 80 grand. So there's a Rolling Stone article about him.
Meet the Girthmaster, the OnlyFans creator who makes up to 80K per month.

Speaker 2 The internet's boyfriend speaks out about his viral moment and why it spawned a necessary discussion about gender and sex work. No one cares about that.
We just want to know what's going on here.

Speaker 2 Is it real? It is real.

Speaker 2 So he went viral after being interviewed in a man on the street TikTok segment promoting a job search app called Get Ahead. So this is what I saw.

Speaker 2 That's how I found out about him, which advertises itself as a Tinder of sort for employment seekers.

Speaker 2 Though the video is fairly standard TikTok fair, it got massive pickup due to the Girthmaster's devilish good looks and the figures he cites when he's asked about his income.

Speaker 2 Somewhere in the neighborhood of between 40 and 80K per month, the response was nothing short of widespread salivation, with the one tweet of the video racking up to more than 87 million views as of publication date.

Speaker 2 Then people started googling him, and we were able to visualize his impressive measurements firsthand.

Speaker 2 Everyone clicking onto the profile of today's Twitter main character reads the caption to one viral meme showing open-mouth Pikachu, the shadow of a giant phallus looming over him.

Speaker 2 Even Cardi B got in on the fun, tweeting and then deleting a photo of a giant worm from SpongeBob. It's been a crazy 24 hours, the Girthmaster said when they reached him via Zoom.

Speaker 2 The Australian who's 30, a little too young for me, sorry.

Speaker 2 has been creating content on OnlyFans full-time for about two years, primarily boy girl videos, though that's not for lack of requests from his gay followers.

Speaker 2 He says he doesn't have any interest in shooting with another man, at least not yet. I only want to create things that I enjoy and that kind of, and I kind of have a vision for.

Speaker 2 I kind of feel like if I shot gay content, I'd be ripping gay fans off. I would kind of be a cash grab in a sense.
I just wouldn't feel ethical.

Speaker 2 Shockingly, the Girthmaster says that while his audience is majority male, he estimates only 15% of that audience identifies as gay in real life, though I think there's some flexibility in there in terms of their orientation.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so it started when he was 18 and he started showing off online just for fun, kind of like a digital exhibitionist by posting a nude mirror selfie on Tumblr.

Speaker 2 Though he did not show his face at the time, the photo went viral with many commenting on the proportions of his member.

Speaker 2 The first time he says he realized his penis was out of the ordinary, he continued to post anonymously for a few years on Throwaway Reddit account using the name Girth Master, which was inspired by the Kitchen Aid Mix Master.

Speaker 2 That's, yeah, I cook a lot too. I'm sure KitchenAid is all

Speaker 2 funnily enough. The name has now that has now actually does mean a lot of favors in marketing because it really stands out.
People see it and they kind of want to investigate.

Speaker 2 Um, so he held a number of jobs-from pizza delivery boy to baggage handler to furniture building. Um, he was struggling to make ends meet.

Speaker 2 He says to the point where he had to borrow money from his mother and sister, and it wasn't until a few years ago when a woman he was dating suggested he start his own OnlyFans account.

Speaker 2 He considered doing sex work full-time. They told me to stop giving it away for free because people would pay for it.
Honestly, I thought it'd just be a little bit of beer money, but it snowballed.

Speaker 2 He started making serious money on OnlyFans, though it's been the last six months only that he started pulling the 40 to 80.

Speaker 2 He was able to pay his mother the money he owed her. Wow.
I'm really happy for him. So he did it for his mom.

Speaker 2 He did it for his mom. I just read a book about a guy trying to find himself and he had to pay his aunt back.
And so

Speaker 2 I'm feeling like this is like the real life version of that, but you just do porn to pay it off, you know? Like porn for debts. I mean, I'm not above it.
I'm not above it. I definitely am.

Speaker 2 So I saw a video yesterday

Speaker 2 of a girl on a boat. Okay.

Speaker 2 In the viral, those TikTok,

Speaker 2 the bike shorts, but like the gathering on the butt. And it was a blonde girl.
I sent you the video and she had braids.

Speaker 2 And I was looking at it and for one second, for one split second, I didn't know what was happening.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I didn't know if, I think it was on Instagram. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Yeah, yeah, and you thought it was me.

Speaker 2 Just for a split second, and then I'm like, oh, my God, this girl's like twerking on a boat, like bending over. And I'm like, oh my God, that is not Kel.

Speaker 2 Turn that off.

Speaker 2 It wasn't not you.

Speaker 2 I saw two blonde braids. I saw a girl that could have been you from the back.
And then it was like, oh, this is going left. No, I haven't worn my hair in braids in a really long time.

Speaker 2 But if I did, I could see, like, because I did, I can see how that was. It was very familiar to me.

Speaker 2 So, what I'm trying to say is, again, I am a visionary. Right.

Speaker 2 Right. Maybe in OnlyFans is in your future.
Absolutely not. I don't think, you know what? Here's the thing.
There are, I'm not a, I'm not good at performing. And so

Speaker 2 just wouldn't be for me, but I'm not a bottle. I watch porn, right? Like, right.
It's fine. Do you watch it, like, how girls watch it? Yeah, like, I usually

Speaker 2 like, oh my God, is she okay?

Speaker 2 I hope she's okay. It's no secret.
I don't even watch like regular porn. I just watch like regular, like lesbian porn.
Yeah, because it's, it's less scary. Yeah.
As we just saw. Right.

Speaker 2 Like, I just don't need a man getting ruining everything. Yeah.
I just, I'm really curious to know. So, is this guy?

Speaker 2 I wonder if they've studied him because, like, why is that like a defect that the girth is girthing?

Speaker 2 I don't know, but I don't ever want to cure it.

Speaker 2 Let's not find a cure for this. For whatever this disease is, let's never find a cure.
Do you prefer girth over length? Oh, yeah. No, I'm worth the girth.
I am.

Speaker 2 Who prefers length?

Speaker 2 i don't know but that seems a little excessive like it does seem excessive but it is

Speaker 2 just some information that's like very uh it makes me curious okay curious i think that that's a lot of um his viewers are curious

Speaker 2 like you and i right now it's like oh interesting

Speaker 2 So that's really interesting. You're like, that's a lot of information that I got in that video.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's all. Some might say educational.
Educational. I mean,

Speaker 2 he might be in a museum. He should probably take it a step further and truthfully create a sex toy line and molds for his penis.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they're in the works, no?

Speaker 2 It's a unique specimen for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So he's been blessed. Hashtag blessed.

Speaker 2 But 30 years old. I mean, hold on.
I cannot. Kristen knew what it was.
So when all that stuff was going on around Facebook. Yeah, well, someone posted it in your group and they were like,

Speaker 2 let's, you know, do an episode where Kale, you know, sees Girthmaster for the first time. And I was like, aha, hello.
I'm claiming that one.

Speaker 2 I'm like, that is an episode I would look for really quick. Literally.
I just don't have.

Speaker 2 Because I do think that girth is fewer and far between.

Speaker 2 Yeah, of course it is. Quality girth.
I mean, quality anything is really few with men. Right.
Yeah, this is true. This is true.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Elijah put in a duck pond at my house the other day. I said it's very little.
It is.

Speaker 2 And it was like, how big did you think it was going to be? And I'm just thinking, this audio, if I had made a TikTok about this, this would have been like a viral moment. Oh, I saw that.

Speaker 2 But yeah, things in life are a lot. They're typically smaller than what we envision, I feel.
Yes. Objects in mirror are smaller than they appear.
Wait, is it smaller or larger?

Speaker 2 No, it's larger, but in my life, it's usually, you know, that's bad luck. How's your dating life? Oh, my God.
It's so wonderful. Let me tell you something.

Speaker 2 Being single out here, I would suggest it for anyone. The guys on dating apps are just kind,

Speaker 2 just like

Speaker 2 yeah, it's really good. So I don't usually tell people what I do for work because it's a weird conversation.
Same.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like, how are you supposed to tell someone? So I'm like, I'm a writer.
I'm not a writer. Right, right.
So I'm like, I just try to like slow it down. So recently I'm like, you know what?

Speaker 2 They're going to find out anyway. I'm just going to tell them.
So today I had an interaction.

Speaker 2 Interaction, not a conversation. No, they're not conversations.
I would really that would be a stretch calling them conversations. So, I have a conversation with the man, and I'm like, you know what?

Speaker 2 I need to tell him what I do.

Speaker 2 He tells me that, you know, obviously, he's a DJ, obviously, he's an entertainer, obviously, he's all these different things. He has, he's like, I'm everything.
I'm like, great.

Speaker 2 So, I said, I'm a comedian. And he said,

Speaker 2 Are you ready? This is a quote. What

Speaker 2 I have to see you perform. You better not suck, L-O-L, J.K.
L-O-L. And I go, well, this is usually why I don't come out and say what I do.
And he says, my good friends are, me, me, me.

Speaker 2 I've rejected the names.

Speaker 2 And on and on. I have to take you to a comedy show one time.

Speaker 2 So he named like four different comics that would have nothing to do with my career. And I said, I do comedy full-time.
I'm a working comic.

Speaker 2 I assure you that going to a comedy show on my night off is like you going to work unpaid on a Sunday. And he said,

Speaker 2 it was a joke. Don't be so sensitive.
Don't be so sensitive on me. I was inviting with you so you can connect with them.
So you can get further, but I'll mind my business. And I said, okay, thank you.

Speaker 2 That's so kind. And he put prayer hands and he said, I try to be.
So I was getting my own job mansplained to me. And that is why I don't tell people what I do.

Speaker 2 What should I tell them I do? I'm a train conductor or something?

Speaker 2 I don't know what to say.

Speaker 2 I loved the line where he said it was a joke. Yeah, he's like, don't get so sensitive on me.
I just,

Speaker 2 I know you

Speaker 2 were on teen mom. Should I tell people I was on teen mom?

Speaker 2 And I'm like, obviously I lost custody. Say you did the creative on teen mom.
Okay.

Speaker 2 You did. And then they're going to be like, Oh, teen mom, you have kids.
No one listens.

Speaker 2 I know, but no one listens. This is the problem: no one listens.
Right.

Speaker 2 I've had people reach out to me to be on my podcast and they're like, Hey, I think I'd be a great fit for your podcast. Um, or my client.

Speaker 2 My client just wrote a book on parenting young kids, and I think it would be. And I'm like, you don't even like I wouldn't.

Speaker 2 The description of my podcast is one line.

Speaker 2 Tracy and Noel, recap, teen mom

Speaker 2 on MTV Tracy and Noel rip teen mom to shreds well listen right now we're watching family reunion season three how's it going

Speaker 2 I don't know who's giving them money to keep filming these things I literally said that I was like well because I think they're getting they got a pay cut right so like it has to I mean unless the pay cut is zero I don't see why we're doing this.

Speaker 2 And they're filming a fourth season.

Speaker 2 They're scouting a location right now so i suggested last night on the podcast that maybe they can um just change up the scenery a little bit because they're doing it in columbia right now and i'm like maybe everyone should be on a deadliest catch boat like the alaskan fish crabfishing

Speaker 2 and like just change it up like shake it up and watch everyone you know crabfish to death Well, so here's the thing though. Like we're, we've moved on from filming in people's homes with their kids.

Speaker 2 So why are we still calling it teen mom? Just rename it, rebrand it, do the whole thing. Yeah, but then it's like Cheyenne wasn't a teen mom.
That's what I'm saying. Like, rebrand.

Speaker 2 So, what is the name of this show?

Speaker 2 Uh, women that have children.

Speaker 2 No, I they're not filming with the kids, are they? Yeah, but what is the so what are we watching? Like, what? Because I'm watching it. This is episode nine last night.
What did I watch last night?

Speaker 2 Because I don't understand what I am watching. I know what I'm not watching, and it's not teen mom.
Is this on cable?

Speaker 2 This is on cable access. This is on MTV.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 But it's like, what am I watching? I don't understand. I'm watching.
I'm taking notes. I don't know.
So, what are they doing? Because they don't.

Speaker 2 So they're all in Colombia. Okay.
They're at a resort that doesn't have air conditioning, which is, I'm already out. Yeah.
I told Noelle that I would need

Speaker 2 $300,000 a week to film with no air conditioning. I don't think that's crazy.
I don't either. I mean, okay.
So they claim that there's air conditioning in their bedrooms, but I don't even think so.

Speaker 2 Everyone just sweats the whole time. Okay.
They're in like this, it's not even like a nice resort, it looks like a motel at best.

Speaker 2 And they're there and they're with their significant others, and they're getting counseling from the guy who gives Tyler ketamine therapy and some other life coach woman.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 Brianna shows up. She's single.
So it was couples counseling. So now it's not couples counseling.
And then Kaya comes, she's single. So what are we doing? What are we doing?

Speaker 2 But also, why are we in Columbia for this? Why are we in Columbia?

Speaker 2 So, we should do special forces meets the challenge vibes with these.

Speaker 2 See, I want less of the challenge. I want more crab fishing.
I also suggested an ex on the beach meets teen mom.

Speaker 2 I suggested a whole bunch of stuff and none of them was whatever this is.

Speaker 2 My entire life is X on the Beach. So the only one that would do well on that show is, well, Janelle, because she also has three baby daddies.
So like we're really the only one.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, she would be, she wouldn't do well. I mean, there would be a fight for her life.

Speaker 2 So I just don't, I just, it's hard. It's so weird because I feel like I'm so far removed from that.
Like the only time that I see teen mom related content come up on any of my feed across the board.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, I have all the gossip pages blocked. So the only time I see it is because I follow Kayla Sessler.
So if she posts something related to, I guess they have all the cast posting

Speaker 2 because she's on the show. She's on the family region.
She's been posting the trailers every week or like doing a post for it. So that's the only time I see anything.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 obviously like wish them all the best, but like, it's so hard because like I don't even remember the like a world where I was on that. Like, I'm

Speaker 2 not about even wishing them the best. It's not them.
It's it's MTV, right? Like, get your money, like, get the money while you can, but also, like, what the fuck is MTV doing?

Speaker 2 But what are you guys doing? Why are you not consulting me? They consulted me one time. I told them how I felt, and then all of a sudden, the next chapter happened.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh, I feel like maybe I had something to do with that. But, um, did they really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wait, what? Yeah. Tell me this.
Go back. Right.
I don't know if I could talk about it.

Speaker 2 Why Why the fuck not?

Speaker 2 I don't know because I feel like it was like supposed to be

Speaker 2 confidential, but here we are, right?

Speaker 2 Well, I don't want to get anybody in trouble because whatever. Who cares? Okay.

Speaker 2 No, so

Speaker 2 we had a Zoom meeting and they asked me what I would do differently.

Speaker 2 And I don't know. I don't think it was.
I think it was like MTV hired.

Speaker 2 like someone to do this for with me. Okay.

Speaker 2 And because I don't even know who it is. I couldn't tell you.
And they asked me like all my opinions on Teen Mom. They asked me like what, who I would cast, like what I would do.

Speaker 2 And I was like, honestly, I'm like, guys,

Speaker 2 stop with, like, there's certain people that just need to go. Like, if nothing's wrong in their life, I don't want to see it.
You know how I feel about that. Was that me?

Speaker 2 Did you say that I needed to go? No, this was like,

Speaker 2 no, because you were, I mean, you were still having your antics.

Speaker 2 You were like, Kale Stays. You were still kaling it up at this point.

Speaker 2 No, this was like, I forgot, I forgot what the time was, but I was like, you have to pick the best of each cast. Why do we have teen mom? Why do we have teen mom two?

Speaker 2 Why do we have teen mom, you know, young and pregnant? Like, let's just combine the cast into the best ones and let's just do one show. And then all of a sudden, the next chapter happened.

Speaker 2 And I'm not saying that I'm the only one with this idea because this is obviously.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, I also suggested something along those lines, but right.
That's what I'm saying. Like, I'm sure everyone suggested this because they were willing to listen to you.

Speaker 2 They weren't willing to listen to us.

Speaker 2 Maybe. I don't know.
Who knows who they listen to? There's no way to know. But where's Amber? What's going on with Amber?

Speaker 2 Oh, so that's what my thought was when I saw, I think it was yesterday or today when I saw Kayla Sestler. Wait, what day does it air? What day does T-Mom air? Wednesdays.
So I watched that. Yesterday.

Speaker 2 I saw the post. And I'm thinking to myself, I have not seen Amber on any of her posts.
And like, I didn't go to her profile and like look at her. She's not on this show.

Speaker 2 I think that she probably didn't want to leave the country. But also, it was started off as couples.
She's a felon, so she might not be able to get a passport. Interesting.
So

Speaker 2 being a felon ain't illegal.

Speaker 2 Is it not? No, that's what Kiefer said to

Speaker 2 Barbara.

Speaker 2 Can you

Speaker 2 get a passport if you it depends, though? Is she a felon felon or did she take a misdemeanor with jail time?

Speaker 2 We don't know. We don't know what she was charged with.
I'm pretty sure she's a felony. Yeah.
Oh, so maybe she can't leave the country.

Speaker 2 Can you get a passport? Most felons can get a passport without a problem. Interesting.

Speaker 2 So now the other thing that Noelle had suggested on the podcast yesterday was that everyone go to Appalachia, aka Leah's old trailer, and we watch them just try to live in that situation.

Speaker 2 You know who also lives in West Virginia? Who?

Speaker 2 My ex-boyfriend who sells potatoes on the side of the road?

Speaker 2 Ma'am. Literally.
He was very very cute.

Speaker 2 Do we have the same ex-boyfriend?

Speaker 2 Do you have a potato-selling ex-boyfriend?

Speaker 2 Wait, time out. Sometimes when I go to his Facebook, because he has me blocked, so I'll go like, you know, on my burner account, and he'll be like, hey, guys,

Speaker 2 potatoes for sale.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, I need to buy some potatoes. So you're going to go to West Virginia? I need to just do a drive-by.
I mean, it's like nine hours from New York City, but

Speaker 2 I have fans that have been like, I don't live that far from there. I'm like, go buy a potato.
Tell them I said hi. I don't have any words for this.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't have a solution to the T-Mom franchise issue. This is a good brainstorming session, though.
Truly, because

Speaker 2 what is going, like,

Speaker 2 what happened to Ashley? Ashley's going to be on the season of

Speaker 2 it's the next chapter that's coming up. That starts, I think, the end of this month or something or next month.

Speaker 2 two separate shows that you're talking about all separate shows Everything's a separate show So we have the next chapter and family reunion That's the only two things that we have right now So there's two separate shows there's two separate shows right and do you get on both or you're you could be on both but you might not be could be on both you might not be on both

Speaker 2 Got it. Okay, understood Wow, that's really interesting.
You know what I would like to do with my free time? I would like to read I would like to do a reading marathon in my office

Speaker 2 eat lots You don't want to go to Columbia and just sweat it all out absolutely not i absolutely

Speaker 2 could binge drink yeah i don't drink so yeah neither i'm telling you this this whole thing is like my nightmare

Speaker 2 yeah the way that i would not want to sweat for any amount of time the whole time

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 three hundred thousand dollars i'll do it you heard it here first on tv

Speaker 2 you're like no kids but i'll show i'll show up i mean where are their kids

Speaker 2 yeah where are they how long were they gone for So, some of them they're gone. Like, Tyler's mom is watching their kids.
Macy and Taylor had to leave because they didn't have any more child care.

Speaker 2 Like, everyone, their kids are with their parents.

Speaker 2 So, I don't have parents. So, like, what would work? But that's what I'm saying.
Like, what are we doing here? Also, why are we in a different country? For what?

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So, you guys gonna go to Florida?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, Destin's pretty nice. Destiny's beautiful.
It's a gorgeous location.

Speaker 2 I was starting to brainstorm how I can make my come up like the Kardashians. Right.
That's what I've been doing. Well, sex tape.
Right. So who would be the porn star that you pair me with?

Speaker 2 Would it be Girthmaster? I would go now.

Speaker 2 There would it be, what's his name? Dean James. James Dean.
No, James Dean's old now. That's old news.
No one cares about James Zean. Okay, I mean, I can reinvent.
I mean, it's old news.

Speaker 2 That was, that was, Fiber's tape was like 10 years ago. Was it that long? I feel like it was longer.
Yeah, the certain. what I'm saying.
This is not

Speaker 2 so it's got to be like 12 years ago. She was like the OG.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. So I watched a clip today.
It was that guy interviewing her. I don't know if it was at the AVN Awards or whatever.
And he was like,

Speaker 2 so tell us about the craziest time you ever had on set. And she's like, on set? I've never been on set.

Speaker 2 And he's like, oh, I'm sorry. What's happening here? And she's like, I'm known for a celebrity sex tape.
And he goes, oh, who is the celebrity? And she goes, me?

Speaker 2 And he goes, she goes, this interview is not going well.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, oh.

Speaker 2 Well, she is correct. It is not going well.
But see,

Speaker 2 the funny thing is, is that when I watch that, I'm like, if I had a sex tape, it would be a celebrity sex tape to me too.

Speaker 2 Like, that's, I am as

Speaker 2 possibly as delusional as Pharaoh, but Pharaoh was on TV. I'm not on TV and I still think that about myself.
Like sometimes I'm like out and I'm like, I wonder if people are recognizing this.

Speaker 2 It's crazy. I definitely think that people recognize you.
You'd be surprised how many people do not.

Speaker 2 You'd be surprised how many

Speaker 2 teen mom trash talk fans are not just everywhere on the streets. They're not? I feel like your podcast is huge.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 it's, you know, regular. It's also a podcast.
I'm not on the television. No, but.

Speaker 2 So what's the plan for when Teen Mom ends? Like, what will happen? Is Teen Mom ever going to end? It has to because

Speaker 2 what's going on? They're spending more money making the show than they are. They should just put my podcast on TV.
But so what's the plan? Like, would you just go to it?

Speaker 2 Okay, so when they're on off-season, we do Teen Mom, old Teen Mom 2. So we've been going through...
Javi and you are not married yet. We're on season three or four, I think.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So you just moved in together.

Speaker 2 So I'm really excited. So that's what, so what we do is we go back to the roots.
Okay. Every time we're on off-season.
So that's what we would do. We would just go back.

Speaker 2 I mean, we've never covered the old teen mom, like the regular teen mom.

Speaker 2 We started like seven or eight years ago with the current seasons. So we have years of content, unfortunately.

Speaker 2 No, that's fortunate because, I mean, truly, we made history with but that's when we do the old episodes, we get lots more viewers than the new episodes.

Speaker 2 okay i mean the old stuff is just there and also there's so much happening on each episode back in the day yeah and i'm like

Speaker 2 there would be every single storyline had something going on i mean but every but everything going on and it was sloppy

Speaker 2 and i'm like oh my god i can't believe they showed that on i can't believe they showed that i would love to catch up with like

Speaker 2 Jordan that I dated or oh no we're familiar like I would love to. I know, um, I did reach out to him like last year or the year before, and obviously, no response, but like he was like 911, but it's

Speaker 2 more like as like a former castmate than a boy, you're like, hey, co-worker, hey, like, literally, well, we literally did work together. No, I know.
What was it, Sports Authority?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was the gem of a job. I think we went out of business, truly.
But, um,

Speaker 2 so yeah, so, but other than that, so you're on tour, you're recapping team mom stuff,

Speaker 2 and we're doing catfish, we do 90 day fiance, we do Vanderpump Rules on Patreon. So we have a podcast called So Pumped, a Vanderpump Rules podcast.
We're on season three of Vanderpump Rules.

Speaker 2 I would like to get into it.

Speaker 2 It's hard.

Speaker 2 I got into season two, and then I just like lost interest. I heard it does get better.
Yeah, season two, season three are, like, pretty crazy. My brother is a, is a Vanderpump Rules fan.
He,

Speaker 2 was friendly. So apparently Miami girl is from our neighborhood and my brother was like friendly with her.

Speaker 2 So we called him on the podcast for some info, and he was like, wow, guys, you're really covering current events, huh? He's like, what year is this? You're asking me about Miami Girl.

Speaker 2 And I was like, we're on season three. But so we cover, we cover Vanda Pro Burls.
We also do Macaroni Rascals of Jersey Shore podcast.

Speaker 2 So we covered season one of Jersey Shore and we're going back to that.

Speaker 2 So how's that going?

Speaker 2 Yeah, so we alternate like what we do.

Speaker 2 Okay. So we do like one season, then we'll go to the next show and then we do one season.
So are you guys together when you do these episodes? We do this on Zoom. On Zoom.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we don't do video for the Patreon episodes, but it is definitely a wild ride. I just don't know how we got to where we are today with reality TV in general.

Speaker 2 Like, I feel like before when I was on reality TV is so different now, like everything is so

Speaker 2 fake.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like,

Speaker 2 like, this is how I would go to like my son's baseball game. Right.

Speaker 2 And like, I would show up to teen mom like this. Like I would roll out of bed and film.
But like today,

Speaker 2 even me, who's been on TV looking a hot mess, I would still like now that I've done all that, I feel like, no, I can't get back on TV unless I'm going to do like the full glam and like do all of this.

Speaker 2 Interesting. It's very interesting because like I don't even want to be out in public like this.
Does that make sense? Yeah, I don't think you look bad though.

Speaker 2 It's I struggle with it just because the comments that I get are pretty wild and it's like well if you're gonna call me fat I just don't want you to call me ugly.

Speaker 2 So I'm like, let me put on makeup. Like, you know, just let me take something out of the equation.

Speaker 2 So that's why I put on makeup when we do video podcasts and I put on makeup on stage. But like in life, no, I don't put on makeup.
If I don't have to put on makeup, I'm not putting makeup on. Right.

Speaker 2 Because that's just like life or skill. Like last night when I went to sleep, I was like, I have to put on makeup for this podcast.

Speaker 2 You went to sleep and you had to put on makeup? No, but I'm like thinking, I'm like, I have to put on makeup. I have to put on makeup.
Like I had to like psych myself up for this.

Speaker 2 But, you know, I have become a makeup artist now because I do watch TikTok. So, right.
And so we are all certified in a style. Exactly.

Speaker 2 We're all us petitions.

Speaker 2 Would you consider now? I mean, obviously you're in love, but would you consider the Girth Master Kale collab? For sure.

Speaker 2 Just for like science purposes, not like anything else. Just for a social and science experiment, I would say for sure.

Speaker 2 Like, if I was going to do celebrity porn, like if I was going to have a leaked sex tape,

Speaker 2 that would be my pick. I also don't know what my other options are.
Right. I don't know either.
That's why I'm like Girthmaster. I don't know.
That's the only guy I really know

Speaker 2 in life. I guess the other option would be like literally using Elisha because it would be like, yeah, but that's like too close to home.
This is like TV. It's leaked.

Speaker 2 yeah but also we have to we'll make up a story about why this girth master you know what i mean like it's gonna right it was like it's really both not at the same time don't be crazy i'm like there you go there you have it

Speaker 2 and everyone's like kiel this isn't leaked you talked about this on your podcast like you plotted this

Speaker 2 whatever it's that just the girlies will know just the girlies will know just the i do

Speaker 2 you think elijah would get mad at you like what like what if what if we went to elijah you and and I, and we're like, listen, we have this great idea. It's going to make some money.

Speaker 2 It's going to get some traction. Do you think he'd be all in? Or he'd be like, no, you can't have sex with my girlfriend, baby mama wife.
He would be like, absolutely the fuck not.

Speaker 2 And I'd be like, Elijah,

Speaker 2 relax. It's five.
He lives in Australia. It's not like she's leaving you for him.
Right. And you're like $500,000, probably more.
Oh, more. Definitely more.
He'd still say no.

Speaker 2 And we'll do a McDonald's brand deal with it.

Speaker 2 Great.

Speaker 2 Why McDonald's? I actually love... What is your McDonald's order? Oh, I don't fuck with McDonald's.
I'm gluten-free. I don't.
No. Oh, my God.
I love a double cheeseburger at MAC sauce.

Speaker 2 And I have never had a McDonald's. I know people are going to make fun of me, but I have never had a McDonald's cheeseburger in my whole life.
Okay. You need to get off this podcast immediately.

Speaker 2 I can. I'm on, I'm gluten-free.
The way I'm supposed to be gluten-free as well, I never will be because of.

Speaker 2 So I went years without eating McDonald's. Okay.
I'm talking to years. Could not even tell you the last time.

Speaker 2 I then ate a double cheeseburger and was like, Why did I do that? Like, why did I not eat it for so long? I'm supposed to be gluten-free. I'm supposed to be dairy-free.
I'm supposed to be dairy-free.

Speaker 2 That's stupid. You know what? When I have seven kids to feed and we have 12 sports and 100 things to do in the day, no, it's like you need to eat what you need to eat.
We're going to eat McDonald's.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So that's why I hear that.
But we could do some kind of brand deal. Yeah, we could do.

Speaker 2 What's your, what are your brands? Like, what are your favorite things right now?

Speaker 2 Oh, God. Skincare,

Speaker 2 Stanley Cups. I feel like okay, we'll do a

Speaker 2 cups. Okay, we could definitely do

Speaker 2 Stanley. Listen to us.
They listen. They listen to this podcast.
Stanley listens. Him and his family listen.
Sex Toys in the Cups. Stanley, we will do a Girth Master X Kale X Stanley Cup.

Speaker 2 I would like to direct Collab.

Speaker 2 It's going to go viral. It's gonna go crazy.
We could even measure his D next to a Stanley cop because he has one of the pictures that it's next to a wine bottle.

Speaker 2 And it's like, no, no, no, no, we have a partnership, it's different,

Speaker 2 and we'll do something cute. This went from family, PG.
No, this is family, PG. This is, we're just talking about business.
This is not anything crazy. I said D, I didn't even say it.

Speaker 2 I'm keeping it PG

Speaker 2 as a brand went from family to X-rated. Listen, they need to really get themselves out there.
You know, enough of this, like, kids and family. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 Like, this is, you need to be hydrated for so many more things than just soccer, you know? It's good for all fluids in your body. Okay, don't put any other fluids in the cup, though.
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 Like, staying hydrated is

Speaker 2 lubricant, self-lubricants. Yes.
You have to stay hydrated. Also, you don't want to get dehydrated from doing the stuff.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 2 And then there's a movie that can be done with this, right? Oh, there was definitely a movie. Social content, a branded collab, movie, all of the things.

Speaker 2 You know what? I want to start transitioning to the acting world. Yeah.
I mean, here we are.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be your agent. Perfect.
I don't have any connections, but

Speaker 2 I do know how to market you. Wait, is there in the comic industry, in the comedian industry,

Speaker 2 are there comics who don't write their own work and they have other people write it for them and they're just performers?

Speaker 2 because there are like people who are true performers through and through, and then there are people who are

Speaker 2 like, they're funny, but they could never get on stage. Okay, so people that are comedy writers usually like write for TV shows and stuff, people that don't want to go on stage.

Speaker 2 So there's tons of jobs for people that are comedians that don't aren't stand-up comedians. That's just one part of being a comedian.

Speaker 2 You know, there's comedic actors, there's comedic writers, there's everything. You know, you could be a comedian and not just do stand-up.
But there are definitely acts that have,

Speaker 2 especially since social media has promoted so many people and given them a platform that have gone viral and now they need an act.

Speaker 2 So they hire a writer to write their act and then they go perform their hour that's not written by them. Oh, so like truthfully, someone could write for me and I can do something.
Sure.

Speaker 2 But it's like not the respected way to go or what? Not really. But hey.
But no one will know. Who's respecting anyone anymore?

Speaker 2 That's so fucked up.

Speaker 2 I mean, if you were like, hey, hire this person to write for you, you're going to make a ton of money. You're going to do a theater tour.
I'd be like, okay,

Speaker 2 let's do it. Okay.
So, you're going to write for me and then

Speaker 2 you'll write for me. And then you'll also do your own.
And then it's like, oh, wow. Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm going to take a lot of the money from the tour, by the way. Write like 70%, 80%.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like 99.

Speaker 2 You'll make $10 a show and you'll get a free meal. Perfect.
I'll get a pat.

Speaker 2 Fucking merch. You'll get merch from the venue, very specifically.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is great. This is great.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm going to go get my hair done. Okay, I'm proud of you.

Speaker 2 And then I have to go get my children, my crotch goblins, which we've figured out that only five of them are crotch goblins because the other two are Caesareans.

Speaker 2 Oh, they came out of your belly button, like babies are supposed to.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So I'm going to go get the crotch goblins.

Speaker 2 And then if you need anything, if you need any any comedic relief during your tour and you don't want to hear your own jokes or Hannah's, like, just let me know. My life is.
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know, but you have to plan something. No, and I'll text you when I'm going to be in New York again because I know August.

Speaker 2 But we need to get an in-person one. We still need to get up with Nick.
I was going to say, Nicole, we still need to get up with Noelle

Speaker 2 because we didn't do that yet. And

Speaker 2 just text me. I absolutely will.
Now, also, let's get Girthmaster on the Zoom. You have to.
And let's interview him. Wait, so is Patreon? Does do they allow nude nudity?

Speaker 2 I don't know if Patreon does. I wonder if he would show his girth.
I mean, he shows it all the time, right? Just Google him. No, but like on for a Patreon episode.

Speaker 2 I don't know if Patreon's gonna love that. Right.
Okay.

Speaker 2 We might have to start an OnlyFans for this. We might have to just be like, so how do you feel about this TikTok you posted? Or how do you feel about this

Speaker 2 you posted? Exactly. And see, and then we blur it out, kind of.
Because, like, I need to know how he feels. Like, does he go back and re-watch his work? Right.

Speaker 2 There's only one way to find out.

Speaker 2 Thank you for showing me Girthmaster. Where can people find you and listen to your podcast? Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 You cannot find me at Girthmaster, even though I wish you could find me there. You can find me at Trixie Tuzini, T-R-I-X-I-E-T-U-Z-Z-I-N-I.
That's Trixie Tuzini.

Speaker 2 My name is Tracy Carnazo, but I am on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter at TrixieTuzini.

Speaker 2 Tracycarnazzo.com for everything podcast related all of my stand-up comedy tour dates um so we have teen mom trash talk uh me and noel winters herzog and uh you can find her at noe girl on instagram twitter and tick tock as well teen mom trash talk catfish trash talk uh 90 day fiancé trash talk we cover vana pup rules we cover um jersey shore we cover oh and noel has a new podcast called recycled with noelle and michael and she covers real housewives of new jersey season two right now and she's going to be covering mob wives on our Patreon.

Speaker 2 So go check out everything. Tracycarnazo.com.
That's where you're going to find it. I love that.
Thank you. That was a mouthful.
Oh my God. I am a mouthful.
But not a girth master.

Speaker 2 Speaking of Girth Master, I'm a mouthful. Bye, Tracy.
Bye. Love you.

Speaker 5 From wine country weekends to scenic drives through the Sierra foothills, fall is the perfect time to explore California, and there's no better way to do it than in a brand new Toyota hybrid.

Speaker 5 With 17 fuel-efficient options, like the stylish all-hybrid Camry, the Adventure-Ready RAV4 hybrid, or the spacious Grand Highlander hybrid, Toyota has the perfect ride for any adventure.

Speaker 5 Every new Toyota comes with Toyota Care, a two-year complementary scheduled maintenance plan, an exclusive hybrid battery warranty, and of course, Toyota's legendary quality and reliability.

Speaker 5 Visit your local Toyota dealer and test drive one today so you can be prepared for wherever the road takes you this fall. Toyota, let's go places.

Speaker 5 See your local Toyota dealer for hybrid battery warranty details.