Q&A, Hot Takes, and Unpopular Opinions

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Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird.
It's your fave villain, Kale Lowry. And you're listening to Barely Famous.
Welcome back, fuckers. And two people canceled on me today.
Actually, one person, today is Barely Famous. Today is Thursday.
I had three interviews today for Barely Famous, one rescheduled, one person asked to reschedule. And I was like, well, the problem with that is like I like you and all but you won't be relevant by next week so love that but

also schedule and I was like, well, the problem with that is like, I like you and all, but you won't be relevant by next week. So love that.
But also it's not going to work out. And then I have Johnny Donovan, which if you guys are not familiar with him, go Google him or something.
I have lots of updates. Okay.
I have a spreadsheet of my thoughts and we're going to start with, this is going to be the most chaotic probably version of my life updates and I'm going to do it in the shortest amount of time possible because I want to get into the questions that we asked for on social media. We asked you guys to, what do you guys want to know kind of thing.
So update number one was the other night, Isaac and I did our like home visit for his high school. Never heard of this being done.
Nobody could have warned me. I would have hired a babysitter for this.
And I'm going to tell you why. None of my kids, despite COVID and all of the shenanigans that happened over the course of that whole pandemic, I specifically told Delisha, like keep Lux and Creed out of the office.
Like we're about to do this home visit, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When I tell you, I don't know what type of crack my kids were on.
Lincoln and Nope, not Lincoln. Lux and Creed guns blazing.
Zoom through these office doors. Okay? They're playing hide and seek.
You're it, you're it, you're it, you're it. I'm mortified.
Isaac is yelling at them to get out of the office. I'm like, no, no, no, because you can't, you can't do that because you're on camera.
And so, like, he was like, but it was muted. And I was like, but no, like, you can't.
So I'm, like, hitting him in the leg, like, be quiet, be quiet. And I could just tell for the entire rest of the, you could hear the babies crying in the other room.
Like it was absolute madness. Um, so anyone who is going to have a home visit, whether it's virtual or in person, maybe hire a babysitter for your, the rest of your crotch goblins, because truly that was the most horrifying, mortifying, humiliating experience in my entire life because I'm like, this is like the one time I need my kids to behave and normally they're well behaved, but of course they're not going to be well behaved when I have something important to do.
They are going to show their asses every fucking time. It's almost like the time a couple of weeks ago when we were at basketball and Creed had eaten an entire slew, like a smorgasbord of food, right? And we get to

basketball and we're around other parents and we're around coaches and we're around all these people. And he's saying, I'm hungry.
You just ate me out of a house at home. You don't need to eat for the rest of the week, truly.
And then second to that, while we're on the topic of children, last night we had basketball practice an hour away and we had the babies and we had a baseball game and I was on snack duty for a baseball game. Because why are we feeding our kids snacks at a sport that is playing so late? It is not, this is not, we need to change the rules here.
Okay. At that point, feed my kids fucking dinner.
Okay. We signed up, we know this, but also we don't think about the rest of, like, I do not have time to get my kids home from baseball at 830, around 830 PM and then feed them dinner and then shower and bath and homework and all the things.
Right? So go from school directly to the doctor appointment for Creed directly to baseball, but there's no room for all the shit that we need. So I have to stop at home just to drop stuff off, not drop kids off, not drop.
My kids are climbing over mountains of backpacks, baseball backpacks, strollers, there's car seats. And you know, with those big bulky ass car seats, you can't get through the aisles of a vehicle, no matter if it's a minivan, a suburban, a fucking whatever it is, you can't get through because the kid's legs.
And if they're fat like Rio, they can't pull their legs to their chest. That's not happening.
So we're like just basically breaking ankles to get out of the vehicle. So I'm stressed out because I'm removing backpacks from school, but I'm also adding coolers and snacks and bog bags and all kinds of things in my car.
So that's the biggest problem. So I'm taking a little video on my fucking Instagram story talking about, you know, this is the biggest question I get asked is when I drive with all these fucking kids.

And Isaac was like, do people even really ask you that?

Like, do people, are you, are you making that up?

And I'm like, oh my God, my 14 year old is really trying to try me right now.

Yes.

That is the biggest question I get asked is, and you know what?

It's not even about, it's not even about what am I driving?

It's like, first of all, I don't ever drive all the kids in one car.

However, somehow with not seven kids, we are still strapped for space. And so we have to drive two vehicles to split up the children, but also for the stuff.
So that's that. If anyone has any tips or tricks, I will gladly take them.
I did get one question that I was, I put on here. So I don't know if we can get into that first.
Actually, let me just continue with the updates and then we'll move on. So I'm looking out the window right now.
They're still working hard on that fucking chicken coop. And Kristen calls me and she's like, ma'am, you didn't tell me that you were building an office or an addition outside of your house.
And I'm like, what are you, like, what are you talking about? And she was talking about the fucking chicken coop. Okay.
These, I thought this was a regular coop. Like the little coop I have outside, I got from tractor supply just to tide them over or whatever.
love it it's fantastic fantastic. However, it's just, it's not the vibe.
It's like not the aesthetic. So I got these chicken coop plans off Etsy for $15.
I might've got them on sale for like $11. I will say that the problem with the coop plans is that I think the math was done in another language because Elijah claims that what's on the list is very much not what's occurring so essentially he took the roadmap and then he did his own thing because I'm not really entirely sure like what's going on but um my so one of my friends he's like I don't even know so basically I'm friends with this guy um known him for like fucking 10 years I don't know I became closer to his dad right and so his dad has been helping Elijah and so it's the two of them my kids call him pop-up they've been out there just like building the shit and like vibing and like they blast music and they just have a great time and I'm like okay I think that you're stalling because it's taking forever it's taking weeks and weeks and weeks and like you guys are stalling because you guys are having like a fucking bromance.
And I don't have time for that. I got to move the chickens and the ducks because what did I do? I went out and got four more chickens.
So I don't have time for this. You know what I mean? And then so naturally, I have to have like this extra fucking coop.
I mean, I thought it was regular, but evidently it's extra. So then that's the chicken update.
Now, Isaac had an orthodontist appointment on Monday and Monday. I picked him up from school early.
We went into the dentist, the orthodontist appointment and we went to lunch. Now, this is where Isaac never wanted to go to college before.
He's going to go to trade school. He's going to do all all the things and now he wants to potentially go to college and he wants to pursue ASL full-time and he wants to be an interpreter um he wants to do all that he's like fluent in sign language he's going to do over a thousand signs which is I'm assuming somewhere close to fluent I don't know um like to be considered fluent that's awesome and so now we're like exploring colleges and we're talking about that.
And I'm overwhelmed because like, I don't remember that process. And the fact that he's going into ninth grade literally in just four months is like, okay, all this time has gone by so fast.
And I, it sounds crazy to think about, but like, I don't even know how to set up a college visit to like, go look at colleges, to like, look at campuses to see if that's where he wants to go.

And then to that point, it's like, how do I set up him to do the major of like to do ASL related

fields? And then the clubs and things associated with that, because I think for something like

this specifically, and for, you know, I have a four-year degree in communications, in order to truly pursue it and take it somewhere, you have to be immersed in the culture of whatever the field is. So for ASL, might be with CODA, you know, hard of hearing, deaf community, all of those things, go do clubs and programs, visit the School of the Deaf here in Delaware, things like that, that you're like, able to make connections to pursue it and go further with the career, right? So same thing with communications is like, if you're not going to intern at your local TV station, or you're not, you know, asking to write a feature or something for a local magazine or newspaper, whatever the case may be, if you're not doing all those things, you're not going to go anywhere with the degree.
And so I think that that is people are like, oh, it's the easy thing or, you know, for communications or whatever. It's like you have to immerse yourself in those things.
If you don't, this is a networking type of community. This is a networking type of field where I feel like business, yeah, it's great to make connections and do networking and things, but the business side of it is a little bit different, because I feel like you don't necessarily have to immerse yourself or like businesses are everywhere.
It's just different. It's a different type of situation.
So I'm like getting anxiety now, because he's going into ninth grade. But like, when do you start? When do you apply for colleges? 10th grade, 11th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade? I don't know.
When you go to visit the campuses. And also if he wants to be within driving distance, that also you're potentially not getting in-state tuition, but then you might get in-state tuition because if he goes somewhere that's like nearby, he could technically drive, but then like, no, because he's limited because he wants to do something so specific.
I don't know. I'm stressed out,.
And so that's that. I also wanted to let everyone know that if you participated in the world book day giveaway, that is happening tomorrow.
I'm going to package up everyone who won. I think there was five winners from the world book day giveaway.
Those are all going out tomorrow. So when you're listening to this, your package is already in the mail.
I just want to say thank you to Geneva and Frida for participating in that with me. That was really cool to be able to do and kind of make possible.
The second thing is if you are on my Patreon for book club, we're doing weekly book giveaways. And the first week giveaway will also be going out tomorrow.
So if you're part of those groups, keep your eyes peeled because we're doing that. Now, I did read some headlines about myself this week.
The first one was that my reading habits are controversial. So I thought that was really interesting.
Elijah and I are talking about potentially having another baby. And so I guess instead of reading, I'll be going to appointments in order to do IVF in order to have another baby.
So that's what like I thought was a good solution to that. And then the second one was, I can't believe that Kayla's friends with Matt and Matt sent me this article that said, I had a big announcement, no announcement in the article whatsoever.
But in the article, it basically said that they're just glad that I had Matt on the podcast and there wouldn't be a baby coming from it. But how do y'all know I didn't ask for his sperm for Elijah and I's IVF baby? Cause he's also fixed.
You know, what's controversial here is writing stupid articles with no announcements. Okay.
Like if you are trying to make money off of these articles, I need y'all to do better, right? Like I need you to get it together, get some better clickbait. I need you to put some sort of announcement in there.
Maybe it's an announcement from five years ago. Maybe it's an announcement from two weeks ago.
I don't know. I don't know.
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Available now at your local store. And then the last update I have is some of the stores that I shop at are having some pride collections launch now that it's May and next month is pride month.
So I did check out American Eagles pride line. It was okay.
And then I checked out Abercrombie again. It was okay.
I'm going to check out targets. I haven't seen theirs yet.
And I also haven't checked out old navies, but if you guys have any, um, like any of the stores that have pride collections, send them my way. I would like to check them out and maybe order something.
Um, the shirt is from American Eagle, but anyway, let's get into some bullshit. Let's see what we got.
This is a Q&A, hot takes and unpopular opinions for me to react to answer to all the things. Okay.
So, okay, this is a good one. And it's the very top one on my responses.
And it says that all men cheat and you have to settle because of it. This is a topic that this is my Roman empire.
Okay. Men cheating.
All men cheating is my Roman empire. And I say that because I truly believe that like 95% of men cheat.
I truly do. Kristen just typed in the chat and said, no, here comes the unhinged.
Okay. All men cheating is my Roman empire.
I do believe with my whole heart and soul that 90 to 95% of men cheat and always will. And I think the other 5% are just truly gems of specimen because I and I do think that there are so many more women who will turn a blind eye to their man cheating and basically settle.
And they think that they have to stay with this man because all men are going to cheat. So, okay, I should stay in this relationship because if I get out and go to the next one, they're also going to cheat.
So I might as well just stay here. And I feel so bad for women like that because one, why do you feel like you need to be with a man at all? Why? Why are you with a man? Just don't even be with one.
Um, you don't need somebody that bad. And if you're talking, okay, well, I need another income in my household, then get a roommate.
Okay. Because this is not that.
And I'm not staying with someone I'm no longer, you will never be able to change them and turning a blind eye to it won't make them pick you. And ultimately, if they find somebody through this cheating process, this cheating scandal, if you will, this open one sided open relationship, they will leave you like at some point, like, if they truly fall in love with somebody else, one of their side hoes, like they're going to leave you.
So why not just be by yourself or get a fucking apartment with your best friend and your kids and raise them together? Because this is not, I didn't sign up for the potential of sexually transmitted diseases because I chose to turn a blind eye to this shit, right? Like do better. Um, fun one, toilet paper roll over or under have a great day.
I don't give a fuck. This is one that where I just don't, I don't care.
I'm going to pee. I'm going to poop and I'm going to grab the toilet paper.
So it doesn't matter. My neighbor who lives in Elijah's house is so funny because he said that he fights with his wife about like which way

the toilet paper roll goes i'm not fighting over that matter of fact i might throw the toilet paper at you i don't care like it does not matter to me just give me the fucking toilet paper right like are we fighting about that i'd rather fight about that than cheating you know what i mean okay no So Brit Henders, Brit Henders needs to be locked up.

She needs to go to prison she wrote to me and said that she doesn't think dinosaurs were real imagine going to one of those fucking museums with like the replica of like the rebuilding of the bones and she's like yep not real there's all this proof and they're just not real could you imagine actually had a friend one of my best friends in high school she was like i didn't know she's like she's like i thought it was a myth she it's not that she didn't believe they were real she just didn't know she thought it was like propaganda i don't know she thought it was what is the. I'm like, this is a fucking Harry Potter, bitch.
What fashion trend is popular right now that you just can't get behind? Ooh. Okay.
Fashion trend that I just can't get platform shoes. I'm a big bitch and I don't have an extra three inches to give, right? Like I need y'all to knock me down three inches, not boost me up three inches.
Okay. Platforms are not for me.
They look cute on really, they look really cute on other people, but I can't, I got to wear the pretend ones. Like my Adidas that I wear that have like that gum sole.
Those are pretend platform. Those are like, they give the illusion that they're platform and they're absolutely not a platform.
Taylor Swift is overrated. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Carrie Doran. Carrie Doran, 17, you get me, you see me, we're here.
And I don't know if people are going to unfollow me for saying this. I do not understand the fucking Taylor Swift hype.
You write some songs, you sing them. I don't think she's that great of a singer.
Truthfully, I think she should stick to songwriting and have other people sing them. I don't understand.
And Kim K losing over 100,000 followers because of Taylor Swift, to me, it's like, okay, I'm not like a, I'm not obsessed with either of them, right?

They're just like, they're cool, whatever.

Like, if there's a Taylor Swift song on, like, I might vibe to it, whatever, bop my head.

But, like, I'm also like, I like Kim, but I'm not, like, obsessed with her.

That's wild.

Like, could you imagine a world where people are that obsessed with, like, I just, I, and you know what? Kristen's a Swifty. My friend Tony is a Swifty.
I don't understand it. I don't tell me what it is.
There's nothing. So I'm just wondering when you guys stop recording an episode, do you stay on and talk or literally hang up? Well depends on the day it really depends on the day sometimes we stay on this fucking app that we're recording on and we might talk for an hour or two sometimes i can't get off the fucking computer fast enough so it really just depends on my mood the day what we're talking about walmart or target well i like both i would say target for the aesthetic but walmart is like more practical and it's also much closer to me than the target lindsey friend or co-worker she's both she's definitely both i when people ask me about lindsey i mainly refer to her as like have a more sister.
What I would imagine would be like a sister type of relationship because Lindsay and I go the fuck at it. Like we will tell each other exactly.
You never have to worry about me talking shit about Lindsay because I've said it to her face. And she said whatever she's got to say to my face or like text, whatever.
We go at it. And then, and then we don't.
And then we're fine. And then we move on.
Sometimes we're, we text every day. And then sometimes we go breaks without texting and we catch up on the podcast.
Like it really feels like what would be like a sister relationship. Do you ever feel jealous of Kristen and Lindsay? Absolutely not.
Absolutely not. I talked to Lindsay.
We have a relationship. I talked to Kristen every single day mostly all day so there's nothing to be jealous of I am the one that told Lindsay that she should hire Kristen so I like what is there to be like the only thing I might sometimes Kristen knows stuff before Lindsay tells me stuff I'm like just say it in the group chat because why is she better than me but other than that no.
Wow Haley Jones is going in. I'm gonna read off rapid fire some of Haley Jones stuff.
Hated baby reindeer so boring. Next one.
Hate sushi. Ketchup is gross.
Salad fries and Diet Coke is my favorite meal. Let's talk about Diet Coke.
Let's talk about fucking Diet Coke. Why? Tony was the first person that I'd ever met.
If y'all don't know Tony, y'all need to Google her. I've been friends with her slightly longer than Kristen, but she's still one of my best friends.
We don't talk every day, but I fucking love her. She's a fucking OG.
First person to introduce me to this like diet Coke obsession. First of all, it, it, it tastes like battery acid.
First of all, who the fuck wants, who wants to be obsessed with diet Coke? Also, I'm pretty sure diet Coke free diet Coke is probably worse for you than regular Coke. And Kristen and I are on the Coke train.
We are Coke girlies, right? Like we're not drinking Diet Coke. We're not drinking diet anything.
I don't understand it. I will never understand the Diet Coke obsession.
And I truly don't. Haley Jones also doesn't like mac and cheese, which sometimes I understand the argument of literally cheese and noodles, but I love cheese so much that I love anything with cheese.
And so I feel like I can't really get behind that, but I also get like the logic. She's asking a lot about Lauren and Javi in several of these.
I'm not going to really address that other than I wish them the best. I truly have nothing negative to say.
she's the one that asked about Lindsay and Kristen she's the one that asked about Walmart or Target someone asked me how I got a copy of The Housemaid is Watching already and I was honored to receive an art copy of that you can apply for art copies if you're a reader so So I think it's called NetGalley or something like

that. You can go apply for art copies.
Let me tell y'all something. Today we were in the school drop off line.
Okay. When you're in the middle, the way that our school is set up, once you're in that line, you cannot get out for any reason.
Your car could be on fire and the entire parking lot will blow up with you. Okay.
Creed was three years old and he had to pee. So I'm panicking because it would probably be frowned upon if I took him out of the vehicle to pee in the grass that is next to me on my right.
And normally I'd say, fuck it. My kid's not going to piss himself.
But I was like, you know what? I don't want to go to jail either for like public indecency or like urinating in public, like whatever the case may be. I also don't want to embarrass my children further than I already do.
So I'll tell y'all what we had a McDonald's cup in the car. And I was like, just let her rip in there because I can't, this isn't going to work.
Right. So I get on Instagram and I'm having like this inside.
I was truly having like an anxiety attack, but like I was keeping cool, calm and collected on the surface of Instagram. So I ask everybody like, what is the solution here? Like, what do you guys do? The motherfuckers have the audacity to tell me I'm talking like hundreds of people to the one or two that were like pee in a cup.
The rest of them were like, oh, we bring an emergency portal, like an emergency toilet. I'm sorry.
But like I said, in the beginning of this fucking episode, I do not have room to bring a potty into my, into my truck. Okay.
When I leave every morning, there is a stroller and a wagon in my, in my trunk with an organizer that has extra clothes, extra snacks, extra shoes, because I don't let my kids wear their basketball shoes outside because they're not supposed to. And then they last longer, et cetera, et cetera.
But I also have to have like snacks and drinks because it is not unlike me to be signed up for snack one day and then forget. So I have like Gatorades and snacks, but then I also have the coolers and stuff because I did remember it yesterday.
And then I had a pile of backpacks that we need to drop off at home. I, people are climbing in and out.
I do not have a place to put an emergency potty further. Once it is used and there is waste in there, the chances of it getting spilled, knocked over, people think it's funny, they don't realize something is in it.
And it being, first of all, it stinks. I'm not having that in my fucking car.
My car is black. It attracts the heat.
I'm not doing that. Second, the chances of it spilling and getting knocked over are so fucking high that that would be an absolute nightmare.
I think that might be worse than my child peeing their pants. So that's a hard pass.
But the fact that y'all unhinged motherfuckers really, really said that there was two people that suggested you better pee a bottle. Okay.
And those are my people. And so I'm really, really unsure of my audience here.
Honestly, honestly, and truly disgusting. Maybe if you have one or two kids well Heather Heather when you said those

travel potty everyone should this is what Heather said those travel potty everyone mentioned in your

last story is disgusting sorry well I'm not sorry I don't think Colleen Hoover lives up to the hype

here's the thing about authors that write a lot of books right like that have

countless books I think Frieda McFadden has over 20. Colleen Hoover has over 20.
Geneva Rose has like 10. Here's the thing.
You're not going to love every single one. And I don't think it's fair to judge an author based off of one or two that you don't think live up to the hype.
Because I've read a few Colleen Hoover books and I don't like them all the same. Same for Frida.
Like I'm a huge Frida fan, right? I'm a huge Frida fan. I don't accept Frida slander.
That doesn't mean that I'm giving all of her books five stars in order to be her fan. So I don't think that it's fair unless you've read every single one of Colleen Hoover books.
I don't necessarily agree with that statement.

I've actually taken some of Colleen Hoover's books off of my TBR because, you know, I've read a couple that really lived up to the hype. And so I don't want to be disappointed.
And I'm good. I'm at a good stopping place right now.
I'm reading one this month. And then, you know, I'm at a good stopping place for a while.
I've read a lot of Frida books. and they're not all five stars.
Like, I mean, I think it would be really unfair to just knock someone off of your reading list. Now I will say I've read two Lucinda Berry books and I'm not a fan so far.
And that's because the style is the same. Um, whereas Carleen Hoover, I would say it's more, you might not like the story.
And so I don't like Lucinda Barry's writing style. I don't like the format of her books.
I think she has a hard time finding the direction of the story. I think only the last 15 to 20% is good, if at all.
So I think that there's a different, you know, there's a difference between like the story, like Reminders of Him by Colleen Hoover is probably my favorite Colleen Hoover book that I've read. And then a really close second to that would be Heartbones.
I'm looking at it right now. So, but I have probably 10, 10 of her books at least.
Oh, I've read Verity too. And as a, I was just like, how the fuck do you write reminders of him and then go from

that to fucking Verity?

Because truly you're unhinged.

Um, I don't know.

I don't fucking know.

I don't know what the fuck Girthmaster is, but this is on the Facebook thread.

If you guys aren't in the Barely Famous Podcast Fans official group on Facebook, it's unhinged

in there and I love it.

Um, I don't know what

Girthmaster is, but I'm scared to look that up. Tracy Carnazzo is a comedian that I'm friends

with and she was like, I want to be on the episode. So I'm going to wait to Google it

until I'm in the episode with her. I'm hoping to do that one soon.
Alicia Ploof in this group said, something I've heard and been thinking about for the last few days, what three year span of your life changed you the most? Maybe from 16 to 19, maybe 27 to 30. Was it for good or bad? Did you, did you learn the most? Did you have the best experiences? Maybe you had a kid, a death in the family, a major career change.
What three year span completely changed who you were? I can't narrow this down to three, to one three year span, but I think there are three three-year spans that changed my fucking life. Two three-year spans and then one like shorter one.
So I would say the year that I gave birth to Isaac, not because of becoming a mother necessarily. When I got pregnant with, let me, let me, let me back up Cause I feel like this is a story time.
When I was 15, I was in a really toxic relationship with a high school boyfriend of mine. It was the most toxic thing that I could have ever, like you just don't, in my head now, knowing that I started that relationship the same age as Isaac is right now, I could not picture him at 14 years old.
He is a baby in a toxic relationship. Like I'm talking full on commitment, full on toxic, toxic relationship.
Right. So I'm in that.
I'm 14, 15, 16. I get an abortion on my 16th birthday.
And we kind of stayed together after that. And then he did have a struggle with addiction and eventually he passed away as adults, right? But that person specifically had, I think about him to this day, several times a week, and that never changed.
That happened from the time that I was with him until the day, till today right now. I think about him several times a week and that never changed that happened from the time that I was with him until the day until today right now I think about him several times a week and that is not the same person I lost my virginity to and I don't think about the person I lost I thought I was in love with him right like his name was John I thought that I was in love with him I thought we were gonna get married I thought we're gonna have babies all the things I don't think about him the same way that I think about this other person that I was in a toxic relationship with.
So fast forward to on my 16th birthday, I am getting an abortion. Him and I eventually break up and I meet Joe.
I sit Joe down and I'm like, listen, I had an abortion against my will. I didn't want to do this.
Like if I were to ever get pregnant again, I'm keeping it and I'm telling you right now. So Joe and my relationship was so toxic in those nine months.
Like there was virtually nothing good about it. Right.
Like I don't even know what the fuck I was thinking. And like a normal person probably would have completely prevented a pregnancy.
I don't know what we were doing. Careless, invincible, won't happen again kind of thing, but then also just not preventing or doing any of that.
get pregnant.

I did stay with Joe's parents for a short time it was like it was less than a year um maybe six months ish because I moved in I got on the show in October. So from October to.

I probably lived with him for it seemed like forever on the show, but I probably lived with him from anywhere from six to nine months. But I'm thinking it's closer to the six month mark.

I know I finished high school.

But I don't remember if I finished.

Yeah, I finished. Yeah, it was probably like between six and nine months.
Um, and then I would say that whole year trying to get back on my feet after. So we're talking from 15 years old to 18 years old.
Cause I moved out of Joe's parents' house before Isaac was six months old and I moved back in with my mom briefly. And then I moved out of there and got an apartment.
Getting on my feet and getting into that one bedroom apartment and doing that whole thing and then having to deal with the car, such like that truly taught me what the fuck I'm capable of if I need, if and when I need to, when all else fails and I only can depend on myself. I had nothing.
I had no babysitters. I had no car.
I had nothing. And a lot of people, this is what I'm talking about when I say that, like, I have paid my dues to MTV.
I have done what I needed to do. I have said, thank you.
I've given them credit. Right.
But like, let's remember that when I found out I was pregnant, the first thing that I did was how the, what the fuck am I going to do? Right. And so like, not even thinking about MTV itself, I more so was like, how do we solve this? Like what, how am I going to support myself in this child? Right.
And so I, I looked for those resources. Now I don't necessarily think that my marriage with Javi and all of those things, um, I was married to him.
We were together like five, six years. I don't know.
Um, I'm not counting that. I think the first three years was the 15 to 18 changed my life.
And then again, when I met Chris, Chris was my karma for all of the bad things I've ever done in my life. Okay.
Chris was my karma for when I stole from Kohl's at 14 years old or 15 years old. Okay.
Chris was my karma for cheating on Jordan with Joe. Chris was my karma for every fucking bad decision I made from the time I was born.
Okay. The five years there, I would say through the three of them, cause the first year wasn't so bad.
I would say the last three years of that were in truly this past, when did we break up? When Creed, before Creed was ever born, right? So I would say the last two years of that into the year where I finally was like, I'm done and I'm never going to look back. And part of that was, y'all know, I don't date men with kids and he had a baby with someone else.
If that had not happened, I don't think I would be where I am today. But that was, I mean, I felt that to my core.
Like I felt that in my soul. I felt that with my whole body, my whole brain, right? Like struggled, but those, so the year before Isaac was born, the year Isaac was born, the year after Isaac was born.
And then when I met Chris in the last three years of our relationship, those were the two times that changed my life forever. And I think I went through the most pain during those times.
So that's what I think happened. Wow.
I'm going to think about that more. I'm going to get, I'm going to think about that more because I need to know in what ways that changed me because they definitely changed.
They definitely changed me. How do you and Elijah split responsibilities with the kids? I'm struggling with this at the moment with my partner.
Listen, if your partner is not helping you and he's not being an equal partner, fucking leave him because you're better off by yourself. You are better off by yourself than the fuck you are with somebody who's not splitting these responsibilities.
It is not a question. I do not ask.
It is you are my partner. Don't he when he goes to work and he tells people I have seven kids like those fucking people don't know me from a can of paint.
So whatever. What the second that he committed to me he did this on his own.
I did not tell him this. He took on those kids as if they're his responsibility when we they are with us which for all intents purposes, I feel like they are.
I feel like when you are in a blended family and you have are with somebody that has kids, they become an extension of you and your family. So I don't know where he got that from, but that is what he's done.
I do not ask him, you know, will he do this? It's not, it's not, will he do this? It will literally be, I don't know if you guys saw my TikTok where we had all seven kids and I had concession duty. We had baseball game and you know, I can't really leave.
I don't leave my other kids with Isaac. It's not his responsibility.
Right? So I'm like, what do you want to do? Do you want concessions or do you want the babies? And it's not, will you help me? Or can you watch them? Or can you do concessions? That's not the question. You need to start rephrasing what you need into pick this or that because this isn't an option.
You need to do one of the two things because I don't give a shit. If you were at fucking work all day, if you're a stay at home wife or a work from home wife, you still your job.
Now, when you guys are both home together, you need to have equal responsibilities. Second to that, when it comes to the kids and we're both home, I might have to be in my office for something.
He's taking care of stuff. I'm trying to think of another example of this.
So this weekend, I'm struggling right now. I don't know what we're going to do yet, And it's Thursday.
So Lincoln has an out of state tournament on Saturday and Sunday. But Lux and Creed have a birthday party on Sunday.
So the question is not will you help me? It's like, which part of the responsibility are you going to do? Are you going to take Lincoln maybe with the twins to go out of state with for the tournament? Or are you going to take Rio and then I'll take the twins and then the other, you get what I'm saying? Like you guys need to start rephrasing. If you're already rephrasing, then it's time to leave the relationship.
Okay. And normally I wouldn't say to do that, but women are notorious for, you know, silently leaving, silently moving on.
And that's what you need to do. And that is what an attorney told me when I tried to get divorced much, much earlier than I actually got divorced.
When we moved to Delaware, the first thing I did was actually go see an attorney, right? Because I was like, what the fuck do I need to do? And she was, I laid it all out there for her. And she was like, it sounds like you need to go home and get your ducks in a row and come back to me when you're ready to file, because there's several things that you need to do in order to kind of make this process, process more seamless stop staying in partnerships that they're not they're not partnering so what are you here for you're better off alone and if they're not going to help you with these fucking kids then you don't need to be there take them for everything they're fucking worth at that point take them for alimony and child support and go go handle your business somewhere else people aren't going to like that answer but that's why people't like me.
That is why they think that I don't work in relationships because I'm bossy. I'm mean, I'm miserable.
I'm this, I'm that. No, because being young and living the life that I had to live and the survival that I had to go through with my own mom taught me, taught me the building blocks, if you will, for what I needed to do to survive.
Right. So then I'm like, okay, Joe's family took me in from there.
I was like, okay, I need to get a fucking job. And when I got that job at sports authority and mama Nina's, I made sure that I took every fucking extra shift that was given to me.
I know that not everyone will have, you know, a temporary place to stay in the meantime. I get that, but I also stayed in a homeless shelter.
So let's keep that in mind. I think MTV completely glazed over that.
They didn't look at that. They didn't do any of that.
So I literally stayed in a homeless shelter between Joe's house and the program Valley Youth House that I went through when I got my first apartment. So MTV glazed over that.
And everyone is giving endless credits to these other people that did not do what I had to do in order to get the fuck out and be in a place that was less toxic. Dividing responsibilities is something that you guys need to sit down with, literally get a babysitter, because that's the other thing is like, you guys are going to struggle and get a babysitter.
I know that sounds so fucking tone deaf. It really does.
But at the end of the day, would you rather make it work with your partner and really try to hash it out? Or would you really, or would you rather say, oh, I don't have the money for that. It's like, okay, but if you need to, or wait till they go to bed, if that's, but for me, it's, it's never just that small conversation.
It's going to be like an hours long, like, okay, if this person has these responsibilities

and I have to do this, also share a calendar because Elisha has access to my calendar on

a regular basis.

He can go in and see what the fuck I have going on.

He knows when he has to get the kids and I don't have to tell him.

He knows when he has to go pick up the kids because I might have an interview.

I might be out of town.

I had a funeral not too long ago, like earlier this year, that kind of threw a wrench in everything. He knows what he has to do because it's in the calendar.
So that's part of it. I also think the calendar, the shared calendar will help your partner understand the mental load that you are taking on a regular basis by yourself.
So if you have, I'll show you on my calendar right now, might be a little blurry. Um, If they see that and it's visual for them, I feel like men are a little bit more of like visual learners.
I'm going to show you my calendar from, okay, right here, April 30th. Now, this is my calendar from April 30th.
So these are all the things that I needed to do from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed was like all of these things. Right.
And some of them I overbooked myself. So these are all things that need to get done.
And I literally put in there school kids pickup, not to remind myself, but so that I know not to overbook, but also so that he can see, oh, Kale has something 15 minutes before pickup, which means I need to pick the kids up. Something like that.
I don't, it just says kids pick up. Right.
Or, and then from that, it was like you, so my kids also go to school in different towns. So that adds an extra layer.
So he might know, okay, well, if Kale has to go here directly after pickup, that means she's going to get those kids and taking them with her.

I need to go get this child.

So it's just, I don't, I hate to say communication is key because that is not it.

But I feel like these are some of the things that will help you guys get a sense of like what the fuck needs to be done.

Because I don't want to see, I think some men like Elijah, they're going to adapt quickly and they're going to pick it up and they're gonna be like, wow, I didn't know that you thought about all these fucking things. Right.
I didn't know how much work and effort and time and decision fatigue actually went into all of these daily tasks. Right.
So like they might think to adapt quickly and think twice about like putting an extra thing on you um but i think the

communication here is like i think just to summarize is like have a long conversation

about the division of responsibilities with that share a calendar and then with that

come up with a plan that works for you guys so tips for twins I'm going to be a first-time mom in a few months and we're having twins well getting them on the same schedule is a bunch of bullshit that everyone told me it has never worked for me my twins do not eat or sleep on the same schedule most of the time. There are obviously times where they do, but overall they don't.
They never wanted to. They are two completely different babies.
I will say certain things that work are my Up a Baby Vista that was previously used as a single stroller can also be turned into a double stroller. And I wish that I had that stroller for Isaac, Lincoln, and Lux.
I got it when I was pregnant with Creed and then I was able to add pieces to make it a double stroller can also be turned into a double stroller. And I wish that I had that stroller for Isaac, Lincoln and Lux.
I got it when I was pregnant with Creed and then I was able to add pieces to make it a double stroller and have Rio stand on it. I used it for Creed, Rio, and then now I use it for the twins and Rio.
So spend the money on a more convenient stroller. I promise you, this goes back to me being like tone deaf or whatever, but I 1000% cannot recommend the Up A Baby Vista enough or similar strollers that you can do that to.
Also, there's a pillow called a Twin Z pillow. It's almost like a boppy pillow, but it has two for babies.
Game changer. You can nurse with it.
You can set them in it. You can put them on tummy time.
It's just, it's fantastic. You're going to love that.
And then other twin things I'm trying to think is, um, literally just two of everything. How to best support a friend going through a divorce.
I'm 31. So I'm at the stage in life where I know as many people getting divorced as I do married.
Honestly, this could be a good question for coffee combos. I'm okay.
Well then I'll, I'll do that on coffee combos. I'm going to screenshot that.
And I feel like I'm going to put some thought into that one too. When I answer it, I'm currently having Irish twins.
How did you feel when you found out you're having twins after Rio and how did you overcome the overwhelming thoughts of stress? Honestly, it wasn't stressed out as much as I was heartbroken and I'm not heartbroken in the sense that you think I wasn't heartbroken because I was having twins I was heartbroken because all my other kids have a very good year gap between them um or a good age gap between them and I was able to spend really quality one-on-one time with them and I don't feel like I got that with Rio and so a lot of times when I was pregnant with twins and having my tummy tuck, I was, I think normal people who are pregnant with twins with no tummy tuck, um, probably are in a lot of pain and struggle sometimes, but the added, my muscles were sewn together and now I'm having twins and I am not even three months postpartum. I could not get out of bed to get to tend to Rio in the middle of the night.
So that strictly fell on Elijah from like four months on. And so I was so heartbroken that for a short period after the twins were born, Rio wanted nothing but Elijah.
He didn't want anyone but Elijah and it broke my fucking heart. And also the bigger my belly got, the harder it was for me to hold him and love on him and cuddle him.
And like since Creed was born and he was really, really bad at sleeping, I have been rocking all my babies. I didn't really ever do that before on a regular basis, or like every single night, where that became a routine for Creed and then for Rio.
And then when I my belly was getting so big, I couldn't comfortably do it with Rio. And so those types of things really broke my heart.
And that's what I struggled with. It wasn't necessarily the stress necessarily of like having all the littles.
I don't, it's more like having triplets really. Cause I have like Irish triplets and I know some people, some twin moms will get really upset when an Irish twin mom will be like, it's just not the same thing.
And as a mom of Irish triplets, it is. Like Rio needs me just as much as my twins need me.
And whether that was one baby or twins like it is, it's almost more difficult. Like if I'm being honest, I think Irish twins might be more difficult than regular twins.
If I'm being, and twin moms might hate me for saying that, but it's just like, there's so much more and some like real is trying to talk. He's walking.
He's getting into things and he is, because he can't quite talk yet. He's getting frustrated when we don't know what he is wanting.
Where if there's two twins, if there's twins that are just sitting there and they're both crying, you could still do the same thing that you did with a singleton. You put them in their crib, walk away for five minutes and you come back and everything is mostly better.
And so I just, anyway, I'm going on. I digress.
Someone needs to seriously medicate me because I just, the thoughts that go through my head, I have so much to say. Would you write another book, like tips with experts of her experience and how she learned the tips? Potentially.
I think I found that people hated hustle and heart. And I think that's because I had a lot of positivity in there about my divorce.
And I was like, really happy with my decision. And I learned so much from it.
People did not resonate with that, which is really interesting to me. And people really loved pride over pity.
I think one, because it was my first book, but two, because there was a lot of pain in there. I don't know that people really, I don't know that tips and tricks sell, right? Like, cause people can get it from for free online.
So I don't, I don't know that people really I don't know that tips and tricks sell right like because people can get it from for free online so I don't I don't know hard to say hard to fucking say anyway moving on I think that's all the updates I have I will answer the one question on coffee combos and I'll add that to my list for the next recording before I forget and And as always, you can join my community on

Patreon. We get into a lot of fuckery there.
I hope y'all loved the episode with Matt Matthews.

I also hope you love the next episode that I have coming with someone that's a very,

he's very interesting. So love y'all.
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