Cheech and Chong | Club Random with Bill Maher

2h 4m
Bill Maher credits legendary comedy duo Cheech and Chong as pioneers who brought a certain culture around a certain plant that Bill enjoys very much into the mainstream comedy scene. They touch upon the challenges and joys of performing together over the years and Tommy Chong’s time in prison, historical figures like Timothy Leary and the impact of government actions on personal freedoms. And they shed light on the birth of Cheech and Chong and how an accidental meeting led to one of the great comedy collaborations of all time.

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Runtime: 2h 4m

Transcript

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Speaker 1 I want to start a campaign that Teason Chong should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Comedy Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 And I realize because I'm a comedian,

Speaker 1 I could entertain them better myself.

Speaker 1 Okay, I have people I cannot believe I get to talk to. What's up, bro? Oh, I'm so

Speaker 1 how are you? Cavelling. Thank you.

Speaker 1 i don't know what to say it's what a day as you can see i dressed up for you i don't usually i know it's a very cool well just because i feel like and we come we're geeks bringing gifts yes me too and i'm of course i'm nervous it will live up to the uh approval of the gods but you know I stand on your shoulders in many ways,

Speaker 1 as a comedian of some years who has, among my bag of tricks, certainly traded on

Speaker 1 my reputation for enjoying marijuana

Speaker 1 a lot and had a zillion lines and jokes that worked because that was, but that all came from you. You guys did that first.
You did it best. You are the OGs of that.
No extra charge.

Speaker 1 You're doing good.

Speaker 1 But don't beat on his show that he's got bad knees. Yeah, I got bad knees.

Speaker 1 Jump on me.

Speaker 1 Okay, but like, look, for those

Speaker 1 many in this country who have said, and some still do, that marijuana isn't good for you, I would say, you guys look great, and you guys are old. Yeah, really? He's old.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm old, but you're really old.

Speaker 1 And you're still here, and you look healthy.

Speaker 1 What does that say about the

Speaker 1 wacky weed?

Speaker 1 For two.

Speaker 1 By the way,

Speaker 1 no one who is a real stoner would ever say wacky weed. I would just like it.

Speaker 1 Am I right? Yeah, you're right. We like short.

Speaker 1 So, yeah.

Speaker 1 I started smoking when I was 19. Yeah.
Wow. Where are you from originally? New Jersey.
Oh, you're Jersey. Oh, you're a Jersey guy.
You're a Jersey guy. I started in 19, too.

Speaker 1 I feel that was better because,

Speaker 1 you know, first of all, kids shouldn't do drugs. Yeah.
We can all agree on that, right? Sure.

Speaker 1 Let's hear a little enthusiasm about it.

Speaker 1 Kids shouldn't do drugs. if it's for fucking hard.

Speaker 1 Let's get them on our side a little. I've told my kids, listen, if you're going to do drugs, replace them.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. That's what I told them.
You know, it's funny you mentioned that because

Speaker 1 sometime in the 80s, I was hanging out with a group of people, and one night your daughter

Speaker 1 was in the mix,

Speaker 1 she was so much fun. She was awesome.
And I remember her saying, like, yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't smoke pot anymore. My father's kind of disappointed in me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. His RD.
And I remember thinking, you know, like, whatever parents do, the kids will rebel. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No matter what. You want them not to smoke pot? Yeah.
Be Tommy John. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, both of them. So your show's doing well.

Speaker 1 Very good. Everything is fun.
Oh, this one?

Speaker 1 Well, you know, again, I owe you such a debt because you made this possible in many ways that I could have a show,

Speaker 1 I guess, podcasts or shows.

Speaker 1 I certainly don't run it like a show or my show or anything but my life.

Speaker 1 I mean, I was always doing this anyway on a Wednesday afternoon. But

Speaker 1 just the fact that, you know, I can have

Speaker 1 a second show, because I sure wouldn't get stoned for real time with all the politicians and stuff.

Speaker 1 But that I can do it here and it's accepted and i mean we've come a long way a long way in a short a long way some comparatively short time yeah i mean you even did time right yeah but he went to the rock

Speaker 1 yeah in fact uh you came

Speaker 1 uh we did a polly shore roast

Speaker 1 at the comedy store and and and you came down

Speaker 1 to hear... I just gotten out of jail.
And Bill came down. He wanted to hear me on stage with Pauli Shore.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it was short. It was, you know, because it was Paulie Shore.
What are you going to see?

Speaker 1 What year is this? Do not try to apprehend this man.

Speaker 1 Because I have zero recollection.

Speaker 1 I got out of jail. Maybe they're right about that with the pot.
I got out of jail.

Speaker 1 It was just one

Speaker 1 moment.

Speaker 1 And why did you go? You were selling bongs or some shit? No,

Speaker 1 at the yeah, no, I went in for, yeah, because I was

Speaker 1 selling my company was selling bongs. Yeah, I just don't think that would happen today.

Speaker 1 You don't know

Speaker 1 the right DA in the right town.

Speaker 1 It can happen. Really? Yeah, that's what it was.
Maybe I'm being sanguine about it, but like.

Speaker 1 No, they had a hit on me.

Speaker 1 A hit. The Bush family.

Speaker 1 To kill you? No, no, to kill you.

Speaker 1 He was invading Iraq. And so they needed

Speaker 1 a hippie bullshit. Wag the dog.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so they would have wagged the dog. So they attacked me and they sentenced me on 9-11.

Speaker 1 Really? That's when they sentenced me on 9-11.

Speaker 1 And they expected a big protest, you know.

Speaker 1 And the one guy showed up with a sign saying free marijuana. A free marijuana.

Speaker 1 Was he giving it away? No, that's why. No one figured that one out.
That's genius. That's why it's so good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a scream. Yeah.
Free marijuana. And that was it.
And the judge, Schwartz was his name. And he had a reputation of doing whatever the Bush people wanted done.

Speaker 1 And so that's why he was giving my thing.

Speaker 1 Because when I went to court, they were saying things, you know, they were reading off the charges. And I'm trying to be as honest as I can.

Speaker 1 And when they said that I own the company,

Speaker 1 I had to correct them and say, no, I don't.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 they had to stop the whole proceedings. Here you go.

Speaker 1 And say, well, just a minute. We agreed that you were going to plead guilty.

Speaker 1 And so they were doing this. It's so so soviet yeah so soviet yeah that's what it was

Speaker 1 they needed a face for their campaign because they were going after paraphernalia on the internet right and they needed a face for it yeah right enter the face and the fact that yeah

Speaker 1 and the name chong didn't help

Speaker 1 you know because uh

Speaker 1 You know, when they see Chong right away, they think Chinese, you know. Yeah.
That's what I think. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's, and that's what the court and everybody else. And so when they're going after someone, Chong was perfect.

Speaker 1 And you think they wanted to get Chinese more than well the Chinese name didn't help. And who is this guy? But all the Chinese always come up to him.
How come your name is Chong?

Speaker 1 I don't know if even the Bushes were going after the Chinese. I don't know.
2004. I mean, China, the country, I've complained about this many times on my other show.

Speaker 1 I don't want to get too political, but like one of the problems with the left, I think, is that they see everything through the prism of race. So they're way too easy on China,

Speaker 1 which does horrible fucking things.

Speaker 1 All over Christian. Horrible,

Speaker 1 illiberal, dictatorial, anti-freedom, anti-human things. They would run over a guy with a tank

Speaker 1 rock on TV.

Speaker 1 They run over a guy with a tank. Yeah, they did.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 But, you know,

Speaker 1 because it could be seen as racist, you know, they wouldn't say, for example, that the COVID virus escaped from a lab. And it wasn't even accusing China of doing it on purpose, which you could.

Speaker 1 It's possible. I don't think it was.
But I do think it escaped from a lab. Yeah.
I mean. Or a wet market.

Speaker 1 That's the other possibility. That's the other possibility.
And it could be that.

Speaker 1 But I have a feeling in 50 years that people will look back and they will say, wait a minute,

Speaker 1 I wasn't around at the time. Are you telling me that the virus escaped from the one place in China that was working on the virus?

Speaker 1 And people at the time were like debating.

Speaker 1 I feel it will look obvious.

Speaker 1 But anyway, I don't know. Chang, getting back to your story, so they wanted to get you

Speaker 1 for so many things. Yeah.
Chinese,

Speaker 1 but mostly distraction. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you d are you you harbor bitterness toward the Bush family? No.

Speaker 1 No?

Speaker 1 No, it was a life it was a life changer for me.

Speaker 1 No, it was uh well, I had hung with uh Timothy Leary.

Speaker 1 And Tim Timothy Leary. I did too.
You know that chair over there? Yeah. Yeah.
You see that chair? Yeah. That's a chair that Timothy Leary burned a hole in with a cigarette at a Christmas party I had.

Speaker 1 So ruined the chair, so he signed it.

Speaker 1 And now it's an art piece. This is great.
Well, hey, it works out great. He was a good buddy of ours.
We hung out with him. Oh, I'll bet.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, we put him high to the end. We put him in our movie, and then we became

Speaker 1 really good friends. In fact, he was going on the road.
He was like, we're like road comics. I'd see him in the room.
Right.

Speaker 1 Every once in a while I'd see him in the airport and that, you know, hey, how's the road treating you? You know, we were like road comics. What a life he had.
But

Speaker 1 like back in the day,

Speaker 1 before I knew him, and I didn't know him as well as you, but like

Speaker 1 the documentary, I mean, the women and the drugs and the fighting the government and being on the lamb. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was a spy movie of a life of escaping from the prison hand over hand on the wire. You know, telephone wire.
Why doesn't somebody make a movie?

Speaker 1 Here's a guy who's a Harvard professor, wrote 26 books and was in 26 prisons around the world.

Speaker 1 I don't know anybody with that.

Speaker 1 He was in that many prisons? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.
Well,

Speaker 1 he was the one that convinced me that prison was kind of cool

Speaker 1 because he told me, he told me, he said, it was the greatest time. He says, go, I'd write.

Speaker 1 Then go play tennis.

Speaker 1 You talk to Charlie Manson in the next cell? Is this just

Speaker 1 hot?

Speaker 1 What do you think I'm giving you? I know. It's like taking buying a little

Speaker 1 lesson from Paganini to smoke with you, but

Speaker 1 don't I?

Speaker 1 You've had it before.

Speaker 1 I was worried there might be some tobacco in it. Oh, never.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, I only get pot. I'm only allowed to, that one is from my friend Todd McCormick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, Todd. Of course you do, a major figure in the pot movement and also did time.
I only get pot from him and my other friend, Boris, they, you know, I tell them,

Speaker 1 I just want something clean because, you know, you're in the pot business, right?

Speaker 1 I mean, you know, think pesticides, fungus. Yeah, you know, I mean, it's, it's probably not great for our bodies to be putting smoke in them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably not. Right.
I mean, just common sense. Does the Chinese feel that's okay? Oh, always with the Chinese.

Speaker 1 Kidding. 5,000 years ago.
Maybe that's where the virus came from. 5,000 years ago, they wrote

Speaker 1 in the I Ching that they used

Speaker 1 cannabis to

Speaker 1 combat cancer. Because

Speaker 1 back in the day, the emperors.

Speaker 1 The emperors paid the doctors to keep them healthy. But if they got sick

Speaker 1 and they, for one reason, died, they would kill the doctors. You know, that's an extreme version.

Speaker 1 But that model is something that not only is discussed as something we should do, but we should do. We should incentivize health.

Speaker 1 Keep the patient healthy. You get more money.

Speaker 1 Don't do that and we kill you. I like it.

Speaker 1 I like it. You know what? I like it.
I like it.

Speaker 1 Do you know that the Chinese invented the penis? The penis?

Speaker 1 They at first used it as a cooking utensil. They did not

Speaker 1 figure out what to do with it for quite a while. But the Chinese, I'm telling you, it's always about the Chinese.
Basically, because they said that no, you know, the one boy rule

Speaker 1 practically rule. Ruined the one-child rule for a long time.
A long time. But you weren't actually born in China, right? Your family moved from Peking.
No, my dad was. My dad was born.

Speaker 1 actually, my dad was born in Vancouver, Canada.

Speaker 1 A lot of big Asian community there. But his dad was born in China.
And it was his dad, my grandfather, that

Speaker 1 was tradition. And

Speaker 1 my grandfather, quite sure he had a lot of money because he had a couple of families. Like my dad, it was his Canadian family.

Speaker 1 that I was part of.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because my grandfather, you know, he's a typical rich Chinese.

Speaker 1 In fact, my dad told me that they had a young girl living on the floor mat, the welcome mat.

Speaker 1 It was so poor back then, you know, that homeless would live if they found any place.

Speaker 1 I don't mean to laugh. Yeah, but that's right.

Speaker 1 She went from P. Dinny, man.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 1 That's hysterical. Jeez.
Oh, can you believe it? Chinese. I learned everything about Chinese from him.

Speaker 1 They didn't even give him

Speaker 1 bail.

Speaker 1 No. No.

Speaker 1 Daddy? It was a flight risk. I mean, they went torture that far.
He offered a...

Speaker 1 Well, he seems to have done some very bad things. Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 this happens often. Harvey Weinstein, I mean, you think about Epstein, people who are living these amazing lives.

Speaker 1 A little too amazing. Yeah.
You know, in some way. Okay.
Well, they're a little Catholic priest in there. Yes, that too.
And then suddenly you're in a jail cell.

Speaker 1 Klang.

Speaker 1 I asked Tommy this question, what was the worst? I mean, when you

Speaker 1 knew you were in jail, and this is when that door went. clang i heard the the lock and the lock turn click i heard that clink.
You must hear guys crying. And then I, oh, there was a few.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There was guys crying, but it was

Speaker 1 a camp more than anything, you know. So it was like a lawyer's camp.

Speaker 1 More lawyers. You didn't emerge from this experience with the need for three fingers in your asshole when you have sex.

Speaker 1 Can I put it that way?

Speaker 1 He was like used to it.

Speaker 1 Let's put it that way.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I got there with the old guys.

Speaker 1 There's old guys walking around with foam cushions. And when he left,

Speaker 1 he gave me a foam cushion. Because there's no soft place to sit in prison.

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Speaker 1 All the benches are.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to say foam cushion because the anal sex makes your ass so sore. Well, when you're in the middle of the morning,

Speaker 1 anal sex was like a memory. Funny thing, if they just gave out the foam cushion as you entered, you got your uniform and here's your foam cushion.
You will be getting fucked in the ass.

Speaker 1 And we had a small pamphlet on how to use it. This is this prison was so kind of isolated that it didn't have any fences and they run all run keep running

Speaker 1 go good good luck to you right and and because they knew where the guys that tried to do that knew where they were at anyway because they were so old no it's so far there's nothing around it's in the middle of the fucking desert right I mean middle and you know that's the only thing out there they just it was made for the watergate guys

Speaker 1 uh originally it was that women's prison Is it women's prison? And then all the Watergate guys, Watergate guys. Halleman, Ergum, all those guys.
So women, white collar, and potheads. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 they ran out of. They troubles them if you're going to go down the scale of monsters.

Speaker 1 They never had enough women.

Speaker 1 And the great thing about it is that they had their own water tower. So we had unlimited.
We had unlimited showers.

Speaker 1 Unlimited showers. Yeah.
And that's a great perk if you're a prisoner.

Speaker 1 You're in jail? Yeah, that's rare. You're going to have 45 an hour shower.
I spent a night in the Beverly Hills jail DUI in 1992. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 I'm not proud of, but I was barely over the limit, both with the speeding and with the drinking.

Speaker 1 But I was wearing at the time leopard shoes, which I feel might have influenced the officer as to what this asshole is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 One of them.

Speaker 1 I just cannot

Speaker 1 so okay but uh

Speaker 1 but uh what was I gonna say what were we talking about how was the shower

Speaker 1 oh Beverly Hills Jail yeah so it is it is sobering I mean of course this is the Beverly Hills jail I ordered raisin toast no raisins

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 the room service was like an hour.

Speaker 1 The air conditioning made a noise. I mean, it was, I said, could I be moved to another cell?

Speaker 1 And then it was like, oh, we're doing construction. Oh, but you still put me in the jail cell.
Oh, you can't get a good jail cell these days.

Speaker 1 And there was nothing on the SpectroVision.

Speaker 1 There is the reality of jail, too, though, man. We got busted in Tampa for obscenity.
Yeah. Right after what's the name, Jim Morris showed his wiener? Morrison.
Jim Morrison.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jim Morrison showed his wiener. Everybody got busted at this hall.

Speaker 1 So they had a scam where they had put up, you had to put up a $5,000 performance bond. And if you broke it, the hall owner got to keep the $5,000.

Speaker 1 And we got arrested. And so we got arrested, put in Tampa, Florida jail.
And

Speaker 1 Cheech and I, we just got off stage. They took us right off stage, took us to jail.

Speaker 1 And so we still had that performer kind of vibe going.

Speaker 1 Well, this is a different one from you. Yeah, so we're in, we're in.

Speaker 1 Oh, look at that. We're in the cell, and

Speaker 1 we're both being funny. Cheech was

Speaker 1 kind of bugging the guard, one guard. He's telling the guard, oh, jail tendy, jail tendee, do you have some pink toilet tissue?

Speaker 1 And there was a... quite a crowd of people in there for a minute.
Then all of a sudden,

Speaker 1 everybody disappeared.

Speaker 1 And the guy that Cheech was saying, oh, jail Tindy,

Speaker 1 he was about to cheat. And he points at Cheech's,

Speaker 1 you come with me.

Speaker 1 T.

Speaker 1 All I heard as he left was, my dad's an LAPD.

Speaker 1 And then the

Speaker 1 steel doors closed, phone is dented all over.

Speaker 1 This is a different one than Tampa.

Speaker 1 No, that's mine. I know.
That's me. I know it is.
That's me.

Speaker 1 Oh, the Taff. Oh, a Taff.
That's me, a Taff. It's so great to have those kind of memories and still have each other.

Speaker 1 You know? Very often you have one or the other. It defies odds, man.
It really does.

Speaker 1 And also for the fans, I tell you, you know, same thing with, of course, with bands. We really, it's the best thing when the band still likes each other.
First of all, it's so rare.

Speaker 1 What's rare with us, too? I mean, here is when we hate each other. And then we hate Chris, yeah.

Speaker 1 We like each other, but we always like each other, but we hate each other for a period of time well you look like you like each other tonight uh and

Speaker 1 you know i don't know what the fights were about but usually nothing whenever i've aspires with musicians

Speaker 1 the consensus i've gotten why bands fight two things you didn't like my song

Speaker 1 you took the girl yeah

Speaker 1 that's what that's what teams fight about. He didn't like my joke.
Yeah. With us,

Speaker 1 I wouldn't let him in the door.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Come on, man. Let me in.
Oh, they're very.

Speaker 1 But I mean,

Speaker 1 when I was

Speaker 1 just thinking about getting into comedy, I mean, there was you, Steve Martin was a rock star and you guys were rock stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But

Speaker 1 I mean, that's rare on the

Speaker 1 comedy level. Very, rare.
You know, but I remember you guys playing the Hollywood Bowl.

Speaker 1 I mean, just rock star.

Speaker 1 We were for the Rolling Stones one time at the forum. That was great.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was a Nicaraguan benefit.
And

Speaker 1 we had, I think our first album was out, and we had like Christmas. It was the first

Speaker 1 on stage in L.A. Yeah, in L.A.
And so we're at the forum opening for the Stones. I just remembered going on the stage, I was like, what the fuck? This is the biggest stage I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 1 That was the crowd.

Speaker 1 Well, they were great.

Speaker 1 James. Yeah, but they were okay with comedy.

Speaker 1 We had

Speaker 1 it at that time.

Speaker 1 They loved it so much. Oh, good.
Because they never had, you know, they never had rock and roll. Yeah, and sometimes rock crowds, they're not up for comedy.
Like, they've never seen comedy.

Speaker 1 I mean, trust me, I've had stuff thrown at me.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 we used to make sure that we had a folk singer open for us

Speaker 1 because the audience would hate the folksinger so much.

Speaker 1 By the time we got out there,

Speaker 1 we were like the kings. But it backfired on us.
And one time,

Speaker 1 Bruce Springsteen was going to open for Chi Chin Chong. Really? And he was a folks there at the time.
But he said,

Speaker 1 but he had a band. It was a band.
He had a band, yeah.

Speaker 1 And so he called the agent and said, is it okay?

Speaker 1 Bruce Springsteen wants to know if it's okay if he debuts his band. And we said, yeah, of course.
You know, so the,

Speaker 1 what is the E Street? What do they call it? Well, I think you should never fight again. Oh, you're too old.

Speaker 1 There's no girls. There's no,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 1 And, you know, when you have a sentimental attachment with the audience, it's just that it's a great thing to have in your pocket. No, I'm always.

Speaker 1 You know, I've always been a lone wolf. Yeah.
And like, more than most, like, never had a sidekick.

Speaker 1 Never got married. Yeah.
Lone.

Speaker 1 That's what's never got married?

Speaker 1 Not to my recollection.

Speaker 1 Why you say that? Like, it's weird. Well, for us it is.

Speaker 1 How many men? We've been married a bunch of times before.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Me, three, him, two.

Speaker 1 But doesn't get, doesn't the wife get jealous of the partner? And

Speaker 1 they feel like depends on which wife it is.

Speaker 1 I did something that no comedian before me had done before,

Speaker 1 and no comedian has done

Speaker 1 since

Speaker 1 for good reasons.

Speaker 1 I put my wife in the show. Oh.

Speaker 1 I did. Well, she was my partner.
Okay. She was my partner for.
George Burns did. It worked pretty well for him.
Yeah. See, it's not like it can't work.
And Ricky and Lucy. Ricky and Lucy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it worked. It worked for us.
And then

Speaker 1 when Cheech came back, then when Cheese and I got back together again, you know, my wife, she read read the riot act, you're not going to leave me.

Speaker 1 And you did? I said, okay, darling,

Speaker 1 you win.

Speaker 1 And so it was Cheech and Chong and

Speaker 1 Shelby for the last.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she would open the show. She had lips set that, you know.

Speaker 1 And you're okay with this? Yeah,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 1 That was fine about that part was fine. I just wondered, can she do it? Because I'd never seen her.
And what does she do in the show?

Speaker 1 She opens. She had an opening act, like what, 10 minutes, 15 minutes? Comedy.
No, she ended up doing 45. Yeah.
45. And when we got to Australia, the Australian promoter goes,

Speaker 1 okay, she opens and we'll have an intermission and then Chi Chin Chong. And it was like, whoa, okay.
And then so she used to open up and do her show. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's got a good show. She's funny.

Speaker 1 He wrote it.

Speaker 1 You wrote it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So it's. I mean, I know a lot of comics who would love to get that deal.
Yeah. Because they're with somebody and they, you know, when you're always on the road,

Speaker 1 she's too gorgeous to leave at home.

Speaker 1 You know, I know, you know, you leave something that valuable around, someone's going to pick up on it, you know.

Speaker 1 Well, let's hope that the bond is stronger than that, Tommy.

Speaker 1 I hope. I mean, you know, I mean, I just got long around the road, though.
You know, especially because my whole comedy career was with a partner. And so when I had to do it by myself.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. There's a bond between you guys that is in some ways stronger,

Speaker 1 especially when you've had multiple wives.

Speaker 1 You know, there is an inflation of the heart that goes with the more you've been with somebody.

Speaker 1 I remember having this conservative guy used to run the Reagan Library on Politically Incorrect when that show was on. And, you know, we'd like to have those kind of Republican guys on.

Speaker 1 And he was like,

Speaker 1 he was speaking out of, I'm sure, at the time against homosexuality, but, you know, they're poking in the wrong hole. You know, it was just the Bible and Jesus.

Speaker 1 And, you know, sweet guy, though, you know, like all those Republicans are, happy warriors, just had some bad ideas.

Speaker 1 But he was very big on the fact that he said, you know, like, you liberals, you Eden, just talking about me, a libertine, you know, you know, you multiple women.

Speaker 1 And then he said, my wife is the only woman I've ever kissed. And I was like, yeah, I wouldn't want to be you, but I do get what you're saying.

Speaker 1 Like every time you have another love affair, you're like, it's very hard to be like, you know,

Speaker 1 you're the only one. Well,

Speaker 1 except for, you know.

Speaker 1 Hey, I've always been a fan of producer Rick Rubin. And this week on his podcast, he has Shane Smith from Vice, whose new podcast I'm producing.
Anyway, Rick's podcast is called Tetra Gamaton.

Speaker 1 They shot shot it at Rick's Estate in Italy, and you can find it wherever you get your podcast. Check it out.
I think you'll like it.

Speaker 1 I like being the age we are right now. Yes.
I really enjoy it. Even though we're old, it's so much.

Speaker 1 It's just, I remember my mother told me that once when I was younger, maybe in the 30s or something, and she said, yeah, I feel like the best decades were the 50s and 60s. I thought, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Really? The best? Yeah. You know?

Speaker 1 And I get it now. It's like

Speaker 1 mostly because you're just not fucking stupid. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the whole thing.

Speaker 1 Which causes you so much.

Speaker 1 They haven't legalized stupidity yet.

Speaker 1 Right. So the same thing has come around three times now in your lifetime.
So say, when was the last time this thing came up? That is exactly it.

Speaker 1 Pattern. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Pattern. The same thing keeps coming up.
It comes up everywhere. But this time I see it coming because I saw it before.

Speaker 1 Boom. Oh, don't do that.
It's the quarterback who studies film all week. And then when he sees that coverage, he goes, oh, I saw you do this with the Panthers.
Yeah, Blink. And

Speaker 1 those are the guys who are, you know, Tom Brady's this.

Speaker 1 But, you know, it takes a bunch of hitting the heads.

Speaker 1 Do you have trouble remembering? lines ever on stage. I mean, I've for years worked with a music stand that I put up there with bullet bullet points.

Speaker 1 I could never like just spiel like I did when I was 25.

Speaker 1 First of all, I don't do it that often. I mean, I do it a few times a month, but that's not enough to have it.
Like when I was in the clubs, we'd do your set six times a weekend.

Speaker 1 So I have that. I mean, I couldn't, I guess with a partner, you can always cue the other guy.
Oh, we or you just know this shit. Just make it to shut up.
Okay.

Speaker 1 No, come on.

Speaker 1 Seriously. You don't, come on, on you don't do routines oh yes you absolutely do but yeah we got

Speaker 1 we got routines but

Speaker 1 we got routines about routines

Speaker 1 we we were

Speaker 1 i don't know separated for a long period and then came back on stage with

Speaker 1 20 years 20 years and we came back on stage at the at the la jolla comedy

Speaker 1 and i walked in

Speaker 1 didn't rehearse didn't talk about it and went right into the thing

Speaker 1 it's muscle memory are you kidding I know how to do this yes throw that one at me again batting case

Speaker 1 yeah I mean it's just something electric about why we love music it is a synergy of more than one thing

Speaker 1 and there's a dance to it by the way yes and that dance

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 as you get older, you know, exercise changes, you know,

Speaker 1 and I found out

Speaker 1 my body wasn't responding.

Speaker 1 You know, I could feel certain things not responding

Speaker 1 when I needed it. You mean you wanted to make a move?

Speaker 1 Well, I know now that like getting out of a car can be a half a day workout.

Speaker 1 Because I got to work the calves, I got to work the muscles, I got to make sure. And if I go the wrong way, I'll pull a muscle or something.

Speaker 1 Wow, you can't get out of the car, but you still want that hot wife with you at all times. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Seems like you can get your thing going when you want it to.

Speaker 1 Oh, my dear God.

Speaker 1 It's about being able to do things

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 seem

Speaker 1 boring.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 I saw Tom Hanks one time. He was walking his dog near the house.

Speaker 1 And he yells in the dark. He goes, Tom, Tom,

Speaker 1 Tom Hanks.

Speaker 1 He says, I see you washing dishes every night.

Speaker 1 He walks by my house and he sees me washing dishes. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought it was some sort of an insult.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, he's just washing dishes. And so

Speaker 1 then I realized, yeah, I do wash dishes. And you know why I wash dishes? Because of that hot wife.
You want to keep her on your good side. That's exactly it.
Yeah. It's a new thing.

Speaker 1 What is going to make her

Speaker 1 smile?

Speaker 1 What is going to make her smile?

Speaker 1 Just looking at me is not going to make her smile anymore. You don't say you don't have a housekeeper?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, but there's so many dishes you have to additionally do dishes? The housekeeper is like family.
She only comes around when she's really needed, you know.

Speaker 1 But there's just us, you know, just my wife and I. And, you know, and

Speaker 1 when she cooks, she's like an artist. Well, she is an artist.
And so she'll use every pot in the place and every dish.

Speaker 1 Out of the blue finds out she can paint. She can paint.
Yeah. I took lessons.

Speaker 1 And I know good painters when I see them. And she can paint.

Speaker 1 And it's like somebody has a ripple. So she cooks much like she paints.

Speaker 1 And so when cleaning up, there's a big art to it. Did you ever think you'd wind up such rich,

Speaker 1 privileged

Speaker 1 with your fine arts life and your international travel and your hot wives and then yours? Yes.

Speaker 1 You did?

Speaker 1 I always knew I was going to be successful in showing business. Is that true? I made my first record at five years old.

Speaker 1 Five years old. Explain.

Speaker 1 I was a little kid that could sing and tune, had a little squeaky voice, but could sing a tune, and could sing in Spanish.

Speaker 1 And there was this friend of my mother's who had a little record company and used to record people in the neighborhood and then sell the records straight to disc. So you still got that record? No,

Speaker 1 I was like, I was five.

Speaker 1 I wanted to hear that. I was five.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 I saw the reaction that it caused. And people

Speaker 1 And I said, right from the very beginning, that's what I want to do. I want to create that energy.
I want to get, you know,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 I mean, I knew I wanted to be a comedian when I was less than 10. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that's a great advantage in life when you know what you want to do.

Speaker 1 Because a lot of kids get to be 22 and they're like talented at some uh but they

Speaker 1 but what do I do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know and they and that this generation is not big on like putting in the time you know they kind of want you know but they know how to do a lot of things they have talent and they're not stupid they're just ignorant because they don't teach them anything so they don't know things they don't know anything and they have the arrogance of thinking they know everything but all kids think that I mean that's every generation

Speaker 1 to think that you know everything I mean again that's why somehow we're better now.

Speaker 1 We're better with being alive now than we were plainly when we were. It was so much easier when you're younger because you're health-wise not on a short leash.
You know what I mean? By a short leash.

Speaker 1 Whether we want it or not, we got control over our

Speaker 1 urges.

Speaker 1 No, our urges got control over us.

Speaker 1 I would not have chosen not to be able to drink like I used to. I enjoyed it.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I never enjoyed drinking. Really? Never.
Not even with pot?

Speaker 1 No, but I would have social drinks, you know, have a beer. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 I always thought the combination, there was something magical that was one plus one equals three. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. With liquor and pot.
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Possibly why I'm smoking liquor

Speaker 1 and drinking pot right now. You know.

Speaker 1 But I like you stand here, man. This is cool.
Yeah, Club Random is cool. I wish you could hear some night, and you could be when we're not taping because it's so much better with the music on.

Speaker 1 It's a place that needs to have music. It's a real pool table? A little club.
I like your Canadian pool table.

Speaker 1 Why? Because it's red? It's big.

Speaker 1 It's bigger than a normal?

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that's... When you play pool in Canada, you get really good because the pockets are small like these compared to the nine-hole

Speaker 1 pool.

Speaker 1 And why were you in Canada so much, Comrade? Were you fleeing? I'm Canadian.

Speaker 1 I'm Canadian. I know.
He's Canadian. I was born in Edmonton and raised in Calgary.

Speaker 1 I came down to the States in my 30s, actually.

Speaker 1 For the first time ever? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Canadians have an amazing roster of talent,

Speaker 1 especially in comedy, because

Speaker 1 they are simultaneously part of the United States. You can't not be.
In many ways, Canada is a big blue state to the north.

Speaker 1 Whenever they do ticket sales for movies, for example, it's always, and the North American market. You know, it's not just America.

Speaker 1 So, you know,

Speaker 1 they're performers like you,

Speaker 1 they...

Speaker 1 They know it so intimately that they are of it, but they're also a little detached.

Speaker 1 They're not.

Speaker 1 They're Americans, but no, not not really, not quite, and not at the end of the day. They have their own strains, their own ethnic and Indian strains.

Speaker 1 But they can satirize this country so well because of that, I feel. Yeah.
When you think of all the people.

Speaker 1 All the guys and so on. I know Canadians get Chicago.

Speaker 1 Being Canadian, I can tell you exactly. Canadians believe what they hear, they believe what they see.

Speaker 1 You know, they really do. You know, they're not,

Speaker 1 they have no reason to be to be skeptical, you know. And so

Speaker 1 they, like, for instance, playing the guitar, that's my thing, was guitar. And we listened to the records,

Speaker 1 the great guitarist in the records,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 fuck, how did they play like that, you know?

Speaker 1 And so then we practice and practice, but

Speaker 1 then we find out that a lot of it was tricks, you know, how to make a guitar sound crazy like that.

Speaker 1 It's all tricks, isn't it?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 tricks any boy can do. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's your days like? Hey. What do you, what do you, you, are you get up early? Do you.

Speaker 1 Depends on where I am and what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah, I just can't. You can get up at different times?

Speaker 1 I can never

Speaker 1 where I'm working. I just came back from Mexico,

Speaker 1 Mexico City. I did a picture there for a week and

Speaker 1 worked two days and saw everything my Russian wife wanted to see about Mexico.

Speaker 1 Your wife is Russian. Russian from St.
Petersburg. She's a Russian tour guide.

Speaker 1 You guys are bad. Yeah.
Just bad boys. It's RussianGirls.com.
I'll turn you on to this hype.

Speaker 1 You get the weekend package.

Speaker 1 What year did you get married? What year did you get married to this woman?

Speaker 1 20 years ago. 20 years ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's 19, 20, right around there. Right around there? Yeah, you should know this.

Speaker 1 Well, it was

Speaker 1 a wavering green light.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, there's some things you can be fuzzy on the timeline. but

Speaker 1 not your anniversary, you're supposed to like have that down. Yeah,

Speaker 1 she doesn't care. She doesn't care.

Speaker 1 That's the best.

Speaker 1 That's the best. Someone who doesn't pressure you.
Huh? Someone who doesn't pressure you

Speaker 1 is the best kind of.

Speaker 1 She's stronger than Cheese. Oh, absolutely.
She can carry more rocks. Absolutely.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, if it's important to the woman to think she's stronger than you, go ahead, Wonder Woman. I can give a fuck.

Speaker 1 I'm not even looking to be the strongest. I'm just looking to be happy, you know.
So you could be strong or whatever. I could be weak.

Speaker 1 Just don't be a nudge.

Speaker 1 That's my mother would say. Don't be a nudge.

Speaker 1 This is a great girl. That's great.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I'm very happy for both of you. Classical pianist.

Speaker 1 A pianist? A concert pianist.

Speaker 1 Oh, pianist. A pianist.
Well, you know, there's that.

Speaker 1 No, she's a just got her doctorate from USC in piano performance.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 20 years of scales. She plays cheech like a harp.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Do the four of you go out together, like

Speaker 1 the merches and the Ricardos? Not very often. We meet? No, we have common friends.
If we ever shoot a movie,

Speaker 1 been together.

Speaker 1 When we shot that last documentary, we had a little time in the desert. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Little town. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not real. We see each other, well.
He's got his grandpa life. I've got my grandpa life.
Oh, you have grandkids. I do.

Speaker 1 You both do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And what do they know of your lurid past?

Speaker 1 They don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 No, but like, are they curious? Do they know? Do they see it on YouTube?

Speaker 1 Well, you can see

Speaker 1 when they hit that that realization button who their grandfather is you know I watch my my grandsons you know grow up at first you know I'm just this guy and then after a while it's like oh he's that guy

Speaker 1 and then you know Jack and that's right

Speaker 1 but the kids

Speaker 1 yeah oh yeah I know they're gonna be 17

Speaker 1 my oldest grandkid yeah

Speaker 1 but I'm curious as to like what these kids think do Do they feel like they fully appreciate what you did?

Speaker 1 I don't know yet.

Speaker 1 I'm watching it unfold. Right.
You know, you could tell at what

Speaker 1 different stages, like our kids discovered us,

Speaker 1 heard the records

Speaker 1 and what they related to in the records.

Speaker 1 And that was an interesting process, you know, because the things they didn't understand, they didn't understand, but the things they thought were funny, they laughed at, you know, so.

Speaker 1 But do they have an appreciation of like how big you were? Uh, no, they don't, no, yeah, I guess you had to live through it, yeah, yeah. I've always been grandpa, yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah. I hear people often celebrities often say that, like, yeah, I'm just this guy.
I'm like, then why'd you become a celebrity? Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, I think you should use that to pull rank on these kids, yeah, and you know, enjoy your

Speaker 1 leave your grandpa some respect. Kids are

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 little

Speaker 1 helpers,

Speaker 1 you know. Helpers, you see.
Yeah, like electric carts.

Speaker 1 Wow. You know, they lead you around.
But my kids, I couldn't, there's not a iPhone or a iPad or a computer.

Speaker 1 in my house that my kids don't know have to show me how to use it, you know, or even how to find it.

Speaker 1 even how to find it

Speaker 1 oh

Speaker 1 that's yeah

Speaker 1 i i

Speaker 1 get it i mean i'm not native to this stuff either and everything that's technological i feel like it's like doing something left-handed yeah exactly can i do it here yeah i guess badly yeah and i just

Speaker 1 my response to that was always, yeah, but if I got richer at what I am good at,

Speaker 1 that's

Speaker 1 somebody else to do this

Speaker 1 but it's not a good way to be because what if like there's a catastrophe and we're all on our own? Yeah, I mean I in the woods man

Speaker 1 I would too

Speaker 1 like but like for lack of PayPal

Speaker 1 just set upon by feral wolves.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or younger I could but not now.

Speaker 1 Right. Survival.

Speaker 1 In the woods. Yeah.
Well, it's also but it's this sort of computer-internet,

Speaker 1 social media, iPhone divide that if you came along long enough before that was a thing, which we all did.

Speaker 1 And you just don't speak that language.

Speaker 1 You just don't. I mean, some people do.
I certainly know people our age who loved it and adapted to it. Yeah, yeah.
I love it, but it's just so hard to.

Speaker 1 I don't have enough time to learn that language. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I I want to.

Speaker 1 And I've tried. I'm putting it.
But I'm rich enough and I can hire somebody to speak that language for me.

Speaker 1 Well, what it is, is like I'll learn something, but then I won't use it because I don't need it. Because a lot of this shit is

Speaker 1 made to begin with. Like, I don't care about Yelp.
Like, the last thing in the world I'm going to do is publicly

Speaker 1 criticize a restaurant.

Speaker 1 If I didn't have a good time there, I won't come back. But, like,

Speaker 1 I want everybody to

Speaker 1 soup was cold. What the fuck? Do you watch TikTok? Do I watch TikTok? Do I watch it? First of all, Grandpa, we don't say watch TikTok.

Speaker 1 I think we say. There's a TikTok thing where you have to,

Speaker 1 you know, brush up for the next one, and then you see that, and then that's what. I mean, I've seen TikTok, yes, but I'm afraid of TikTok.
I feel like I don't want it on my phone. You know,

Speaker 1 China!

Speaker 1 Fucking China is TikTok. Am I wrong? Of course.

Speaker 1 Okay. But so is AI.

Speaker 1 Well, AI is us, too. Yeah.
TikTok is China.

Speaker 1 It's a Chinese-owned company. And I mean, aren't they making them sell it? They're making a lot of money.

Speaker 1 They're making a lot of money.

Speaker 1 And look, it's not like American kids need help in becoming stupider.

Speaker 1 They're doing fine on their own. But it's not in Chinese interest to help them not be stupid, and they're not helping.
Although, I must say, the videos

Speaker 1 that you see of Trump saying,

Speaker 1 they're killing the dogs, they're coming in, they're killing all the dogs, they're killing the cats, and then people put them with pictures of their pets going, geez.

Speaker 1 It was the funniest thing I saw all year.

Speaker 1 I've been enjoying the Trump polis,

Speaker 1 you know, the comedians and all the material that Trump's generated.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Well,

Speaker 1 he's going to be.

Speaker 1 But there should be a monument made for Trump. Like, like

Speaker 1 if there is

Speaker 1 really

Speaker 1 God and a justice in this world,

Speaker 1 Trump will be sentenced to Guadal

Speaker 1 for life.

Speaker 1 But there they'll build

Speaker 1 the biggest sand trap golf

Speaker 1 When you go to Guantanamo

Speaker 1 That's all he's got he's got just the sand trap sir

Speaker 1 When you go to Guantanamo, do they give you one of those ass pillows

Speaker 1 Because no no one gives them to you

Speaker 1 these guys

Speaker 1 you have to earn nobody gives you an ass pillow in this world my friend Nobody lives you one.

Speaker 1 You have to find a way to make them. You do.
Buy them. I've always said that.

Speaker 1 No. Yes.
Nobody gives you. Prison is a whole different life there.
Nobody

Speaker 1 gives you an ass pillow. And they shouldn't.
And they shouldn't, man. Because that's what makes an ass pillow valuable to you and meaningful.
See, because people don't know about it. No.

Speaker 1 I see these people begging for ass pillows on the street. I'm like, you know what? Yeah.
Maybe you have something that prevented you from being successful.

Speaker 1 Maybe you could be the new ass pillow guy, the new pillow guy.

Speaker 1 I had this girlfriend once. Like the pillow, the the pillow, the other pillow guy.

Speaker 1 And when we were like walking on the street in New York, she'd see some guy was like begging, like literally on the sidewalk. And she'd say, Why don't you give me some money?

Speaker 1 I mean, like zero empathy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because she had a crazy mother and kind of a rough childhood. So, you know.
Who's this? Some girlfriend I had a million years ago would see a beggar in the street, and that was her response.

Speaker 1 Why don't you give me some money? I'll never forget her doing it. I'm like, what the fuck, you, psycho? And I'm still fucking you? Yes, because you're hot.
So that was, you know, again.

Speaker 1 When we first went to Club 54,

Speaker 1 I got so hung up. Studio 54.
Studio 54 or in New York. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got so hung up watching this guy scam people on the street. Which guy? The beggar.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 They worked in pairs. Oh, is that right? One guy would be obnoxious and just,

Speaker 1 you know, just scare the shit out of everybody.

Speaker 1 And then his buddy would come along and say, hey, get out of here, man. Come on.

Speaker 1 And make him leave and apologize to everybody.

Speaker 1 Apologize to all the people that good bum, bad bum.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Jesus.
Yeah. I'm so naive.

Speaker 1 I never once even thought that.

Speaker 1 You mean the bums are fake?

Speaker 1 What's the world?

Speaker 1 In Jamaica, for sure. Wow.
Oh, well, Jamaica.

Speaker 1 In Jamaica,

Speaker 1 Ocho Reals,

Speaker 1 and a resort there.

Speaker 1 And of course, the hotel said, you know, that's something mountain. I forget.
Anyway, Stearman. Stearman.

Speaker 1 Don't go to Stearman. Why? That's where all the locals hang out at night.

Speaker 1 So that's the first place I went to.

Speaker 1 Of course,

Speaker 1 that's where the fun is. Now, when you go to Stearman, it's a club, you know, they had the candlelight and

Speaker 1 vada granja ganja smoked all over the place. That makes a club, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you would, a lot of good dancing, and a lot of the people that were formerly during the day begging on the beach, you know, with a fucked up leg or something.

Speaker 1 Now they're dancing.

Speaker 1 They're dancing.

Speaker 1 They got their teeth in.

Speaker 1 I gotta say,

Speaker 1 that is cheeky

Speaker 1 to be using your thing as a bad leg.

Speaker 1 To explain that one away in court.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was Stirman. That's hysterical.
What's your favorite place that you went?

Speaker 1 Ever? Yeah, like your favorite,

Speaker 1 one place in the world. See, you guys are world travelers in a way I really have never been.
I toured Europe once, like four cities doing stand-up. It was fine, but it wasn't for me.
I'm an American.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 I know the feeling.

Speaker 1 Is there a, like Amsterdam or, I don't know, Toronto or, you know, if you ask the Rolling Stones, I'm sure they would be, all have an opinion. They all love New York.

Speaker 1 All the Stones and the Beatles.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They all love New York.
I just came back from Mexico City, man. That city's popping.
Where? Mexico City? Yeah. I mean, that's.
right. It was, yeah, it's good there.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'd kind of like to end up. I like Costa Rica a lot.
I've gone there a lot in my life over a period of time. The city?

Speaker 1 San Jose.

Speaker 1 I always spent time out at the beach at Quepos. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I've been going there for years.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's a little off the beaten path. I mean, like

Speaker 1 cities. Oh, cities.
Yeah, like what city did you vibe with? I always felt like

Speaker 1 I either vibed with the city or I didn't. Amsterdam, yeah.

Speaker 1 Amsterdam, I have to say,

Speaker 1 maybe I just had the wrong guides, but like was

Speaker 1 polite

Speaker 1 but not warm to me. No, maybe you had a different

Speaker 1 I was out of the step too. You know, when they heard we were coming, you know, all the stoners must be gods.
The stoners, you know, they got together and they took me out for a night out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And a half hour later, they had to drag me back. Right.

Speaker 1 I could not hang with them at all. Paris is,

Speaker 1 we both lived in Paris for a long time. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 I like that city. It's cold at first, but when you find out where to go and speak.
It depends what you're doing. You know, we were doing a movie there.
So it was quite nice. You know, Paris could be.

Speaker 1 We both stayed there for like

Speaker 1 really what, four years? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's no city like it in the world. Huh? Paris.
Yeah, yeah. It's kind of because it's not just the

Speaker 1 economic capital like New York. You got choices.
It's also the political capital like Washington. It's like New York and Washington as one.
Plus, it's kind of the capital of Europe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, Berlin might argue in some ways, but Paris, you know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 but I hate the food.

Speaker 1 I can't stand the food. Really? Cannot have a.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's, it's like, I have to like find like the worst sort of like deli

Speaker 1 to go into get like a just go to a brush

Speaker 1 sub, eat there. Survive on because I cannot

Speaker 1 stand the food. It's horrible.
And it has the reputation.

Speaker 1 When you're from New Jersey, it was italian food you got used to? I just like regular food, not like this. Just like, not this.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm telling you, the last time I was there,

Speaker 1 and I was not eating badly. I was with people who knew the city and were rich, and it was, you know, we ate at fine places, and we ate at the neighborhood place that was supposed to be even better.

Speaker 1 I fucking hated it all. I filled up on bread and some ass

Speaker 1 the entire time. I'm telling you.
You are always eating.

Speaker 1 The meat was always like super tough. It was like the first time I was like, oh, this must be a bad batch.
No. Next time, time, that's how they like it.
They eat it like that.

Speaker 1 It's terrible. It's an aquarium.
It's terrible.

Speaker 1 And everybody else was like loving it. And

Speaker 1 just stinky shit.

Speaker 1 They have good food there. You weren't stolen then, I guess.

Speaker 1 You know, this is 2015. I'm trying to think.
I don't think I

Speaker 1 would be too paranoid. I know I'm too paranoid to bring pot to.

Speaker 1 Oh, I may have.

Speaker 1 We went to amsterdam first that's probably why the itinerary was written that way now that i think about it we went to amsterdam first for a reason okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah amsterdam was always like a safe port it was casablanca yeah well we worked there we made a movie there so we were there for a while you know and got intertwined with the locals we started the first pot cafe

Speaker 1 in Amsterdam with our movie

Speaker 1 on a barge i remember being in a restaurant when I was first there and I thought, oh, we'll smoke. And then they were like, no, we don't smoke everywhere here.

Speaker 1 You know, like,

Speaker 1 we're just adult about it. We're not French.
It wouldn't be like, it just wouldn't be cool.

Speaker 1 You could legally smoke here in the restaurant. It just wouldn't be cool.

Speaker 1 They were cool that way.

Speaker 1 You know, they were a cohesive society. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 They were.

Speaker 1 Where are they now? Do you know? Where are they now? The Dutch. Where are they now?

Speaker 1 Because I heard that they were. You turned on the Brady bunch.
The Dutch.

Speaker 1 Where are they now? I heard they were going

Speaker 1 Trumpy. They were headed in the Trump direction.
First of all, it's a fair question because they once almost stopped the world economy with the tulip market.

Speaker 1 Right? Yes.

Speaker 1 They were the big swinging dick in the

Speaker 1 explorers age. Navigators, boy.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Well said.
Yeah, they're navigators. Yeah.
They was, you know,

Speaker 1 you know, New York City is Stuyvesant town. Peter Stuyvesant was Dutch.
They bought it from the

Speaker 1 Dutch, the Hudson River.

Speaker 1 So the Dutch, where are they?

Speaker 1 Well, they were always a very free liberal society.

Speaker 1 They do have a large Muslim minority

Speaker 1 and there is a clash of cultures there.

Speaker 1 And it could best, I think, be summed up as, you know,

Speaker 1 are you so tolerant that you're willing to tolerate intolerance?

Speaker 1 That's the issue. Wow.
So because

Speaker 1 it's the worst nightmare. Yeah.
That's in the nightmare. So this guy, Gert Wilders, I interviewed him in Religilist when we filmed there in 2006.

Speaker 1 He was a Dutch politician on the rise. I think he's the head dude now.

Speaker 1 And, you know, people call him a racist and this and that. I don't see it that way.
I don't know. It was a long time ago, and I don't keep up with Dutch politics, but

Speaker 1 my memory is we were more on the same page of like, should there be any sort of prejudice against Islamic people? Of course not.

Speaker 1 But there are beliefs

Speaker 1 that are not liberal.

Speaker 1 And they don't, you know, you can't kill cartoonists. You can't

Speaker 1 do shit like that. They had a Dutch artist, Theo Van Gogh, made a movie about Muhammad.
He got stabbed on the sidewalk.

Speaker 1 So there's a lot of controversy there of like, you know, we want to be tolerant to everybody, but not if your beliefs themselves are intolerant. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not if you're still at war.

Speaker 1 Because that's... Really, they're still at war.
Who's still at war? The Muslims.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 there has been a

Speaker 1 war between Islam and the West for a very long, starting with the Middle Ages. They're still there.
The Crusades. I mean, it is.
They're still there. Yeah, it's a similar thing.

Speaker 1 I mean, they've fought over Jerusalem a lot.

Speaker 1 They're still fighting. Did you ever see that movie, the Ridley Scott movie, like Days of Heaven, I think it's called?

Speaker 1 It's about this Jerusalem and the siege of it in 1187 by the Muslim guy who finally took it over

Speaker 1 oh it's such a great movie yeah called Days of Heaven Days of Heaven yeah

Speaker 1 you saw it yeah I did yeah I don't remember who was in it movie star wise

Speaker 1 you watch movies at the end of the day

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 well

Speaker 1 movies you watch movies you you go to movies Go

Speaker 1 you know those things that

Speaker 1 I want to know I want to I want to know what you do right before you go to school. My wife takes me to movies.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 She takes the old guy out for an airing. Well, don't look at it that way.

Speaker 1 You know, but takes him out for an airing. In the sun?

Speaker 1 I bet you she has to fight off the bitches trying to get at you with her handbag. Come on, dick old friends.
That's when that does happen. Every once in a while.
Whoa, look who. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Can you get you with me?

Speaker 1 Now you kind of check her out, take a look at her. Yeah, I had to tell you, they thought you were Kenny Rogers.

Speaker 1 No, no, I'm, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 That's what people say.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, she's...
You're iconic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got to keep...

Speaker 1 Keep happy, you know, staying happy.

Speaker 1 There's an art to it. And I realized because I'm a comedian,

Speaker 1 I can entertain the fuck out of myself.

Speaker 1 And I'd been doing a good job.

Speaker 1 My son had me taken off Twitter because I was getting too many enemies with the trumpies.

Speaker 1 It was getting...

Speaker 1 too

Speaker 1 it's starting to get heckled at the shows you know really yeah so So it was time to go, okay.

Speaker 1 You got it. It's yours for a while.
I don't engage with social media at all.

Speaker 1 I have other people that do for me, you know, when we have business or business together. But as a person,

Speaker 1 zip.

Speaker 1 First of all, it's back to the thing that we are just not often capable

Speaker 1 of conjuring it up in the easy way that it, you know.

Speaker 1 Hey, check out this TikTok. I can't.

Speaker 1 Show it to me.

Speaker 1 Send it to me. I'd rather practice ukulele, man.
I mean, you really do, you know, if I'm going to spend, what am I going to spend time on, you know?

Speaker 1 Well, look, I mean, I certainly have scrolled through enough TikToks and Instagrams to know that they can. I mean, this is what's so seductive about it.
Is we're not stupid people.

Speaker 1 A lot of people are not stupid people.

Speaker 1 I have to say, if I just didn't have a discipline in me that I think comes from being in this generation,

Speaker 1 it is interesting. You can show me one fucking amazing thing after another in a way that's so evil that you're like getting right to that.

Speaker 1 Oh, first here's a guy who's surfing the highest wave ever, and then a blowjob. And then, you know, but it's just, yes, you can go bing, bing, bing to my pleasures.

Speaker 1 And, oh, oh, my God, there's a dog doing an amazing thing, and I love dogs.

Speaker 1 You can do that. So I could see

Speaker 1 just

Speaker 1 you have to have something in you that goes, I got something better to do or I want to make something better in my life or whatever. You got to really pull yourself away and a lot of people don't.

Speaker 1 See where aging comes in? Yes, no, it's your body just automatically

Speaker 1 shuts down, slows down.

Speaker 1 The shit you used to be able to do, you can't do anymore. And there's a reason.

Speaker 1 It's just that the part of the brain brain that is supposedly the captain sometimes does his job and says, stop looking at this stupid shit as much as you could keep going

Speaker 1 because I'm saying now you should do this other thing, which look, it's not going to be that much worse and it's going to be productive and you need to do it for tomorrow or whatever the fuck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I just, I,

Speaker 1 it's like heroin and I just never was attracted and I'm still not attracted to it. And then some people, I mean, I'm sure you know Woody Harrelson.
Yeah. He does not have a cell phone.

Speaker 1 And the reason is because he found it too addictive.

Speaker 1 Not because he hated it. Yeah.
Oh no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't engage with it at all. I mean, I have I have accounts, but

Speaker 1 oh, the cell phone, yeah.

Speaker 1 No. No, any

Speaker 1 social media. But you must use it for you to turn it on.
Huh? You gotta turn it on.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. You don't text?

Speaker 1 I do. I text.
Oh, yeah. But only people I know.

Speaker 1 Right. Well, who

Speaker 1 you know? I get texts from strangers always.

Speaker 1 Selling crypto coin? No.

Speaker 1 No, of course. People you know.
But I mean, you have to admit, like some of these things that came along well after we were like of the age to

Speaker 1 some of them did turn out to be awesome, like texting. I mean,

Speaker 1 I wish we had texting. It's so easy, and it takes care or email, anything where you just don't have to actually make a call or a visit, you know, because lots of stuff in life doesn't require that.

Speaker 1 It just requires, it's when people use texting to tell you their life story, that's when it's like, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 It's just to be like, I'll be 10 minutes late. Or

Speaker 1 I'm up here on the Empire State Building. You know, they could renever make that movie where they, what movie is that?

Speaker 1 Where they're supposed to meet at the Empire State Building and they miss each other. Now would just

Speaker 1 come here. I'm in the lobby.
What are you doing?

Speaker 1 But I mean, that was awesome. And emails, when I think about having to like leave messages.
No, I like the technology. I mean, I like but it exactly for what those things that you said that it does.

Speaker 1 I just don't wanna have to learn another language

Speaker 1 right now. It's like enough.
My wife learns Spanish in three months, reads it, writes it, speaks it. Speaks English, Russian, Spanish, French, Italian.

Speaker 1 But I'm assuming your wives are quite a bit younger than you. His wife is KGB.

Speaker 1 And younger.

Speaker 1 KGB. She was.
What does that mean?

Speaker 1 She was junior KGB. Oh, she really was? No.
Oh,

Speaker 1 are you sure? Well, we're not sure.

Speaker 1 What's your name? Come on. Concert pianist? So

Speaker 1 I'm sure she's awesome, but I must admit, I am wary of Russians.

Speaker 1 Okay, can I just put it on the table? I am wary of Russians. I don't think it's their fault.
But I think communism

Speaker 1 was such a horrible system, especially psychologically,

Speaker 1 that it made the Russian people

Speaker 1 kind of a abused child that

Speaker 1 is still in and you know putin it sounds like it got a lot better

Speaker 1 you know except he calmed the waters for a long time for them they weren't in a war for a long time and they had always been in wars putin putin yeah well they're in one now well they're in yeah they're in there's a major

Speaker 1 resurgence at the end of his life he wants to you know to kind of revive the the the kingdom uh yeah and they all go through that period you know look at bush or look at uh Trump and all those guys are you know the line in winter right now is what we're seeing but a crazy version of it

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he's not Trump ain't trying to invade anybody. I'll give him a chance

Speaker 1 We did he was president for four years. I mean, nobody hates Trump more than me, but he didn't you know

Speaker 1 His instinct is the opposite. He wants to get out of Ukraine.
Yeah. He wants to just give it to Putin.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, his big secret plan. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
My secret plan. We give up.
Yeah. My plan to end the war.
We give up. Okay.
You know.

Speaker 1 And that's what his plan is.

Speaker 1 I've been enjoying the choke. Oh my God.
Eating

Speaker 1 the, they're eating your dog.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 It was like watching a Marlin about to take that bait, you know, like, who was going to go? He's going to

Speaker 1 the big, big mackerel out there, you know, half a mackerel. well i i said on my show friday i think he's a toast

Speaker 1 i'm i'm putting down my marker yeah that he's going to lose this election i've always been a pessimist about him this is the first time

Speaker 1 he he he knows he's going to lose

Speaker 1 but with his luck he could win i don't think any i i don't think he will i think it'll be tied as the polls always are on election day.

Speaker 1 The American people just love to play a game of chicken, and they always will.

Speaker 1 But they're like people who shop. People who sell papers or newspapers or internet or something.
You got breaking news. Right.
And that's what it is, breaking news.

Speaker 1 But I think at the last minute when people go into the booth this time.

Speaker 1 They'll do it right.

Speaker 1 They just have had enough. Yeah, I think so too.

Speaker 1 I mean, he has a strong base, but

Speaker 1 very strong, and it's not going to be a walk, but at the end of the day, it'll be just enough.

Speaker 1 That's the marker.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think they're going to give people

Speaker 1 the balls that they have

Speaker 1 before. Icing will be when you get sentenced.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 there's no sentencing anymore.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, he does get sentenced, right? Yes, he does. Oh, right.
In the hush money one.

Speaker 1 He does.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Well, you know,

Speaker 1 I don't want to base my happiness based on how unhappy he is.

Speaker 1 I feel like,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 my life, man. You got to accept him for what he was.

Speaker 1 I don't accept him. I completely don't accept him.
I also don't accept letting his psyche control my psyche. Think what he did.
He did things that no one else, no one could do. Yes, true.
Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 Mostly for the worst. No one could do.
No.

Speaker 1 The best? The best.

Speaker 1 He got Joe Biden elected.

Speaker 1 No one else could have done that.

Speaker 1 That's funny. That's not a compliment to Joe Biden, but

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm not going to argue with it either. And he's trying to get

Speaker 1 Nicole elected, too. He'll be responsible for the first black

Speaker 1 woman president of America, thanks to Donald Trump. You're right.

Speaker 1 That's it. And we owe it all to him.
I sense you don't like him.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't like him either. And I don't care who knows it.
I don't like him either. I think he's kind of a buffoon, if I'm going to be completely honest.

Speaker 1 Comedy God.

Speaker 1 He's a comedy. Yeah.
Nobody ever provided more material because...

Speaker 1 Unlike other presidents who had one or two things about them that were obviously funny, you know, Bush was stupid and Clinton was horny. Like, this guy's everything.

Speaker 1 He's both stupid and crazy and horny

Speaker 1 and fat. Everything.
And wants to fuck his daughter. He's like the double.

Speaker 1 And he, right, and has this preposterous turkey sandwich on his head.

Speaker 1 And it's his real hair. That's even worse.

Speaker 1 It's not okay.

Speaker 1 It would somehow be better, don't you think?

Speaker 1 And he stinks.

Speaker 1 He stinks.

Speaker 1 Stinks. He's putrid.

Speaker 1 This is his latest theory.

Speaker 1 Your latest story. No, no, it's been proven.
They got the internet. They got the smell.
What?

Speaker 1 He stinks. Trump, yeah.
Like,

Speaker 1 physically. He has to wear diapers.
He shits himself. Oh, come on.

Speaker 1 Where are you getting this? On the internet. On the internet.
You sound like them. This is my problem in America.
But everybody's fucking nuts. Oh, Christ.
On the internet.

Speaker 1 Well, that that wraps that up.

Speaker 1 I'm Edward R. Mark.
You never heard that guy in the book. You never heard that before.

Speaker 1 You never heard that before, huh?

Speaker 1 I heard it about Elvis. Yeah.
No, no, but Trump. We like Trump.
Wearing diapers. Oh, I,

Speaker 1 I, you know, I, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's plausible. Stinks.
Stinks. Plausible.
He were at this exact same age, me and Trump.

Speaker 1 78. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You must be proud.

Speaker 1 Use it as a marker there. Well,

Speaker 1 I think you're doing great for 78. Well, I'm 68.
68? 68? Let me tell you.

Speaker 1 It's all relative. Oh, you're a youngster then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's all so relative. I remember when I was 37,

Speaker 1 I was been in a relationship for five years. You know, like,

Speaker 1 oh, sorry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let me do it.

Speaker 1 and uh

Speaker 1 five years a very significant relationship you know just at the age you would get married if you were like the kind of person who could which apparently i wasn't and i thought oh my god 37 i

Speaker 1 what woman is going to go out with me now oh really i thought it was too old

Speaker 1 just like I wasn't even mature yet. I wasn't even...

Speaker 1 And then I remember going out with this girl. I was 42.
She She was 28. And I remember she, I asked her once, like, what do you think the perfect age for a man is? And she said, like, early 50s.

Speaker 1 Like, what?

Speaker 1 Early 50s?

Speaker 1 And now I get it. It's like, yeah, women know more than anybody.
You know, they don't want to put up with

Speaker 1 stupid. Yeah.
They'll put up with so much.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like how we look

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 we're just better to be around and not stupid and not

Speaker 1 possessive, and you know, yeah,

Speaker 1 I feel like so much of the success of a relationship is just letting the person be who they are

Speaker 1 for fuck's sake,

Speaker 1 what and loving it, and loving, yes, of course, and loving it.

Speaker 1 Okay, we get it.

Speaker 1 You're a Marvel man.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 the grandkids when they come everybody gets along

Speaker 1 actually I'm going they all live in Colorado they're all the many baby mamas it's not a whole Michigan

Speaker 1 no but my daughter my oldest you have different kids from different ladies yes okay Yeah, but that's not that's not the issue.

Speaker 1 My oldest daughter, Carmen,

Speaker 1 grew up skiing and she went to college on a ski scholarship.

Speaker 1 And so that's what her perfect life was, to live in a ski town. And all her kids grew up in that, you know, and that's what she's doing right now.
And they're doing very well.

Speaker 1 And we're going there for

Speaker 1 Thanksgiving. We haven't seen them in a little while.

Speaker 1 He's such a man of the people, this daughter in the ski town. I, you know, that's what she wanted.
Well, she grew up in a ski town. No, I think that's what's so great about America.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's that, you know, do we have our problems? Yes, but really anybody can be anywhere. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It wasn't always so. No.
And there are still issues, but anybody can be anywhere. Yeah.
And it's a big country.

Speaker 1 It's a big country, and

Speaker 1 it's not as hicky as it used to be. I was just writing something about how country music, I used to hate it.
Really? For a good reason. It sucked.

Speaker 1 And now it doesn't suck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It doesn't suck it's like country music is like the eagles in 1972 yeah right yep which basically we loved yeah it had a they had a banjo for a while right remember bernie luddon uh-huh he must have hung out with all those all the rock stars yeah we all came out of the troubadour on that side

Speaker 1 like what musicians were your were you paddling around with like in that era when you guys were stars and they were stars

Speaker 1 I was friends with Jim Croce.

Speaker 1 And he... Jim Croce.
Yeah. I mean, I thought he was great, but I was hoping he'd say like

Speaker 1 Led Zeppelin. Oh, no, I'm fucking.

Speaker 1 They were fans and

Speaker 1 different

Speaker 1 guys hung out, but

Speaker 1 he reached out because we had a common agent or something.

Speaker 1 His stuff is awesome.

Speaker 1 I mean, obviously he died young.

Speaker 1 How did he die? An airplane, crazy. An airplane.
Yeah. Wow.
It was.

Speaker 1 Airplanes are terrible to musicians.

Speaker 1 You know, so many, when you think about it, Aaliyah and Buddy Holly. And, you know, I guess because we take,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 Big Bopper, we're all on that same flight.

Speaker 1 Because I guess we all take planes, little planes, to get to gigs.

Speaker 1 At one time time or another, boy. And some of them are

Speaker 1 scary. Boom, boom, boom.
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's not guaranteed.

Speaker 1 You ever flown

Speaker 1 one of those double cockpit,

Speaker 1 open cockpit?

Speaker 1 And you fly really low over a lot of little lakes.

Speaker 1 I think I have.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in the Caribbean. I think that's one.

Speaker 1 But I've also just been in the one with the

Speaker 1 you guys got front with by the wing doing it manually practically you know like yeah oh contact you know this is not a word i want to hear before we take off

Speaker 1 you want to check the weather on one of those yeah

Speaker 1 but uh

Speaker 1 now well i'm stopping doing it after this year well yeah i may go back to it but at least for one year i've done it for 42 years take a rest stand up and

Speaker 1 done 13 HBO specials. I feel like.

Speaker 1 Time for a rest.

Speaker 1 I want to see if I will miss.

Speaker 1 You don't know if you'll miss something that you've done that long unless you stop it. And then you'll go, oh, I either miss it or like, no, this is cool.

Speaker 1 I can get by with.

Speaker 1 Not like I don't have other jobs.

Speaker 1 But I also do love it. I mean, there's nothing like a live audience in a theater that came to see you.

Speaker 1 That's a liking. So, you know, you're their hero to begin with.
That's a liking. And then you want to

Speaker 1 makes you want to deliver to them so much. And it's just a wonderful show.
That show kept us in shape. It was a real physical show.
So it had to be, you know, in shape to do it.

Speaker 1 And so that was the, you know, part of it because we worked out all the time went to the

Speaker 1 we were members of the YMCA

Speaker 1 And when we toured, in the early days, that was the best gym in town. And so we'd go there and dump the stuff at the hotel, go to the Y, play basketball, work out, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 Come back, shower, do the show, party all night, blah, blah, blah and get on the plane, repeat.

Speaker 1 What was party all night? Let's go.

Speaker 1 Let's stop the tape there and then zero in on that. I'm interested in that.
Well, we celebrate a lot of birthdays, you know, for the

Speaker 1 birthdays. No, um,

Speaker 1 you know, with

Speaker 1 fans, we were we were just starting to be known. And so they were there was a uh well, there's different circuits.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Club circuits. And when you get into that one circuit and

Speaker 1 you get introduced to it's like flying first class, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, the Eagles used to call their after party the third encore. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 There was a bunch of those guys

Speaker 1 and there was just two of us. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that's the multiple there.

Speaker 1 But you'd go out because I used to go out. Oh, yeah, we'd go out.
We'd party, you know, meet people and hey, have fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Then you learn who not to go out with. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who's that? The bouncer or

Speaker 1 the crazy guy? The guy just came back from NAM.

Speaker 1 He's got a 45.

Speaker 1 You want to see it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cops, though. I've sometimes been befriended by cops.
They could get your places fast.

Speaker 1 It's not the worst thing in the world.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm against police corruption. fully except when it benefits me even slightly.
I don't think it's taking away from the safety of the other citizens. Just a minute.

Speaker 1 We'll let turn off this camera. They kept me to the game a little early.
I don't think it's, I don't think it's, if there's a crime, I would say go. Yes.
Go. That's more important.

Speaker 1 I'd be an asshole not to when I wouldn't, okay? As long as.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 And there's such a temptation to

Speaker 1 take advantage of that.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 cops are, you you know cops are people it's

Speaker 1 my my dad was l APD for 30 years really yeah

Speaker 1 and and

Speaker 1 I you know

Speaker 1 he only hung out with policemen and family that was it

Speaker 1 and so what what is your assessment like of after knowing him that long being his kid and seeing him like it made him angry or it didn't it it was his job but he was able to leave it at the office or you know.

Speaker 1 He was always angry. He was always angry.
He was an angry.

Speaker 1 He felt unloved as a child.

Speaker 1 Well, he was unloved.

Speaker 1 Probably.

Speaker 1 Well, then he went into the wrong business.

Speaker 1 He was like. Well, no, but he was like a boxer

Speaker 1 and he was in the Navy. He was a radioman on a PBY,

Speaker 1 which is like a target. And then he came out of that.
And all those guys in the World War II they came out of that and they were a little cell-shocked, you know, and then just

Speaker 1 wanted it to stop for a little while. I feel cops feel

Speaker 1 like everybody else

Speaker 1 doesn't really appreciate that they're doing something that you wouldn't do, that's super necessary to do,

Speaker 1 which is to keep the shit to shoe level. Yes, exactly.
Right. And I think we'd all agree that there are a certain percentage of

Speaker 1 people in this country, native or not, who are dirtbags. And we have to deal with them.
Yes. And you're not appreciating it.
And I don't think they're wrong.

Speaker 1 They also, I also have been very critical of them for like just actual things they do, like stop firing the whole clip at the, like.

Speaker 1 Like we fire more bullets.

Speaker 1 Like in one incident, this is true, than Germany once fired in a year.

Speaker 1 Like Germany police, German police fired like 89 bullets from a year, like 20 years ago.

Speaker 1 89 bullets. That's one

Speaker 1 of the things like that, that I'm critical of. And, you know, just and the bad attitude, just the, you know.

Speaker 1 Well, you're trained to fire, you know.

Speaker 1 Unless you're training and

Speaker 1 then they add that training to guilt. They need to redo the training a little bit, I think.

Speaker 1 Keep it up. But again, like, it's a job we can understand.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it is super necessary. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It made sense for my dad because he just came out of the Navy and

Speaker 1 it was a civilian Navy. They were structured there.
He knew exactly what to do and where the law was and how it was to enforce that. And so.

Speaker 1 And he liked that discipline in his life. But he stayed angry? Yeah, he was always angry.
I don't know why. The family didn't help.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No, he was always angry.

Speaker 1 A neighbor, when we moved to Granada Hills, the neighbor, John Cox,

Speaker 1 and I played with his kids. He says, Oscar, you're the most level, even-tempered man I've ever met.
Always angry.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 so I don't think that's good for your health.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 No, no, I don't think it is. But all in, and then

Speaker 1 when all those policemen,

Speaker 1 they drank, you know,

Speaker 1 as soon as they got off, off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I think that's what they mean.

Speaker 1 That's what they're saying. It's like, you know what? I do a job that's a little more important than yours and makes you a little more tense.

Speaker 1 You know, do you have have to like drink after your shift because of what you saw or you did or whatever? And I'm sure there are many days when a cop's life is just fucking normal. Most of it.

Speaker 1 I mean, we see them riding around, but also at any minute, it can be hairy.

Speaker 1 Have you ever done a ride along?

Speaker 1 No, but I saw the movie. My name is Ride Along.

Speaker 1 I did a ride along. Is it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you were in the back scene, Tommy.

Speaker 1 That's not a ride along. Hey, Listen, I was up there.

Speaker 1 I was right up there. It was funny.
The first stop we made,

Speaker 1 I'm walking up

Speaker 1 with Jay, the guy, the cop,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 the lady that phoned it in, and she looked at me and she said, oh, you got him, did you?

Speaker 1 He said that I was a perpetrator. Oh.
Well, you caught him already. Yeah.
And what did you learn on this ride along? Oh, I learned that

Speaker 1 the adrenaline rush is so crazy.

Speaker 1 When what happens?

Speaker 1 When you're going to a call. Right.

Speaker 1 You don't know what's behind.

Speaker 1 Being a cop, like imagine you're just riding around in your car with a couple of friends or one friend.

Speaker 1 But the little wrinkle is something can come into your car over the radio that tells you to go to some place where somebody's being violent. Yeah.
Yeah, that would be...

Speaker 1 I could see why you'd need a drink. And then you don't know who's got the gun and who's what and what are you reaching for and

Speaker 1 then if you like being there,

Speaker 1 now you got they're performing for you, you know.

Speaker 1 So the cops were performing for me. Right.
You know, of course. It was a good performance to me.

Speaker 1 And the last thing they did was stop two ladies for no reason, you know, other than what's your number, you know. Right.

Speaker 1 That I must must say, of all the things that bug me about cops, that's like top of the list because I've never known a girl who didn't have a story about cops hitting on her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like, you know, guys are horrible, like everybody's got their own sort of scam,

Speaker 1 and but that's one of the lowest. Yeah, you know, it's like, and I've heard every story, and it is a lot of that pull you over and

Speaker 1 driving while pretty.

Speaker 1 That's the real problem in this country. Nobody talks about that.

Speaker 1 But it's kind of true.

Speaker 1 That's the gun.

Speaker 1 When you give

Speaker 1 other humans

Speaker 1 this monopoly on violence, first of all, they can use a gun. You can't.

Speaker 1 You know, and there's a little bit of the Judge Dredd in it, you know. Remember Judge Dredd, the Stallone movie where

Speaker 1 the cop and the judge are basically the same person, they pull you over, and they're judging you.

Speaker 1 A cop can kind of do that, they can in the right situation, yeah.

Speaker 1 We got pulled over in Houston, remember,

Speaker 1 coming back from fishing? That's because you're a Chinaman

Speaker 1 and they're out to get you by your name tongue. Yeah,

Speaker 1 no, they're smuggling in chopsticks. We had a brother listen to a lecture from the judge.
The judge gave us a lecture. Hope you boys ain't in a hurry.
Oh, where is this now? Where was that?

Speaker 1 Coming back from the

Speaker 1 soon running? From Houston.

Speaker 1 Houston, we're heading for Houston. Yeah, but we were in Galveston.
Yeah, we'd been fishing. Yeah.
We'd been out fishing.

Speaker 1 We got some fish, too. Gig in Galveston, and then we stayed for a day or two after that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Interesting.
I've taken him out fishing before.

Speaker 1 I feel bad for the fish.

Speaker 1 I gotta say, I can't quite do the hook in the mouth.

Speaker 1 I know, it's terrible. And I ate fish.
It's not like, you know.

Speaker 1 I did when I was a child. Maybe it seared my conscience.
I remember once going out, yes, we had a house on the Jersey Shore

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 went out and there was like, you know, this thing. You could go to the fucking grimy looking looking dock with the shitty

Speaker 1 top that's all taffy and crap.

Speaker 1 I know exactly the guy. Okay.
Sunglasses,

Speaker 1 the big t-shirts, you know, okay.

Speaker 1 So like at that thing, the big part is out.

Speaker 1 It's a born of light. Okay, so there was a ship that went out, a ship.
Oh.

Speaker 1 A ship? Yeah, it was Jeff Bezos' yacht. No, It was his fucking trawler that some guy, you know, and you could,

Speaker 1 you were guaranteed to catch fit. And we did.
I caught like 10 Ling. Oh, really? Ling Cog? Ling, whatever the fuck that was.
And I've heard of it before or after. Lincoln, yeah.
Ling Kog. Ling?

Speaker 1 Ling Kog. You've heard of it, L-I-N-J? Yeah.
Okay. I never heard of it.
No, I never was in a restaurant to try the Ling.

Speaker 1 Samaria consider them garbage fish. Yes.
I think,

Speaker 1 well, let's not insult different kinds of fish. No.

Speaker 1 I mean, but the Chinese, which I am, we

Speaker 1 love that. We love that.
Everything comes back to China.

Speaker 1 China. Very good.
Very good.

Speaker 1 But I mean, I remember, and of course, I was probably nine years old.

Speaker 1 And I think there's a picture of me with a string of Ling. Yeah.
A string of Ling.

Speaker 1 And I feel terrible about it. They must have, you know, back, this is the 60s.

Speaker 1 The oceans weren't overfished as they are now.

Speaker 1 So, yes, probably there were schools of Ling.

Speaker 1 The ocean was teeming with life, which they slowly killed so they could have 10-year-olds like me enjoy the great American pastime of killing something. Killing another ling

Speaker 1 and then eating it later in the ceremony.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, if we had eaten it later,

Speaker 1 I don't remember having no wing for dinner.

Speaker 1 No ling is good.

Speaker 1 Steam. Steam? Steam Ling.
Steam Ling.

Speaker 1 Seriously? Steam Ling.

Speaker 1 Steam Ling, the premier of China.

Speaker 1 Steam Ling. Steam Ling.

Speaker 1 Steam Ling.

Speaker 1 Tar.

Speaker 1 It's called Steam Ling.

Speaker 1 I hope in some small way I've

Speaker 1 had you guys been in the same room together.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure

Speaker 1 like why that is, but it means a lot to me. No.

Speaker 1 Because,

Speaker 1 you know, I don't see you together a lot. And like I say, just for the fan, for the young man in the 22nd row,

Speaker 1 it just feels good. that my idols

Speaker 1 like each other. We do.
I know. They do like each other.
I know. I'm going to nag you about it.
We know more about each other than

Speaker 1 our wives because I believe I made that point in our time. We are

Speaker 1 with each other on the road, you know, and you have that process has to happen. Exactly, because the road gets lonely.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're going to reach for a friend.

Speaker 1 And love is a hurt. Did you have to ever share a room at the beginning? Yeah.
Like the Beatles. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You did. You shared a room, but not a bed.
No.

Speaker 1 Was there sometimes sexual activity going on in the room with another person when you were in the room, but not with a person?

Speaker 1 Or with a person of your own?

Speaker 1 Before we answer that,

Speaker 1 discuss this with a truly president. Let me go back to.

Speaker 1 We refuse to answer that one on the grounds that it will definitely incriminate us.

Speaker 1 No, no. Oh, that was such good murmuring.
That was really

Speaker 1 professional comedic murmuring.

Speaker 1 Like a lot of people can do. Look, you guys, every time some asshole at an office in Des Moines, Iowa does a lame,

Speaker 1 I was so stoned I ate a bag of Cheetos joke.

Speaker 1 You guys should get a check. Every time some mailman does a joke, bring it.

Speaker 1 See, you were of the record generation, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I had your records. All those.
Oh, yeah, lps yeah that was yeah

Speaker 1 and then they switched to where i wish i still kept

Speaker 1 yeah i didn't keep the records you know what i kept the posters do you see the supremes up there that's from an album i had in the really yeah that's the supremes when they would put a poster in the lp

Speaker 1 wow they're very nice

Speaker 1 i'm not saying i used it as a masturbation device and i'm not saying I'm not.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying it was 30 years before Pornhub. Maybe.

Speaker 1 That's what art is for.

Speaker 1 I feel like that actually really, I'm not going to say made me the man I am today, but the idea that you had to use imagination and pretty much only imagination

Speaker 1 for what was

Speaker 1 the most important thing in your life at that age,

Speaker 1 was getting the pussy that I could not get. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 I couldn't even talk to it.

Speaker 1 That whole process is

Speaker 1 so painful.

Speaker 1 And it's different for everybody.

Speaker 1 The variations on a thing.

Speaker 1 Would I like to have a 17-year-old's liver? No.

Speaker 1 Yes. But if I had to take a 17-year-old's brain to go with it,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the deal breaker.

Speaker 1 And you do some stupid shit.

Speaker 1 And I did some stupid shit at that age, you know, so I

Speaker 1 understand.

Speaker 1 At that age, I forgive myself. Yeah.
I don't forgive the stupid shit I did at 40. Well,

Speaker 1 that's what hurts because you're supposed to be better. And women are better.

Speaker 1 The gourds come in.

Speaker 1 But women mature at like 25.

Speaker 1 They're like over,

Speaker 1 most of them are just over silly bullshit.

Speaker 1 They're not into the girls just want to have fun phase. They're into put a ring on it.

Speaker 1 You know, they're just,

Speaker 1 it gets serious.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 But not men.

Speaker 1 That's why like when I was 37, it's like, oh my, I'm so old. So old.
No, now you're dangerous. You know, now you have a car.

Speaker 1 And a nice car. You know, you can get into a restaurant.

Speaker 1 Girls are impressed by a nice car when they sit in a nice car. I've noticed that.
There's so many things I've noticed, never understood about girls. Yeah, but among them is that cars.
Yeah, like what?

Speaker 1 I'm not into cars. Yeah, I mean, like, who gives a fuck?

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 it's just, yeah, what

Speaker 1 am I right?

Speaker 1 What are you drive?

Speaker 1 A Lexus, I think. What do you drive, Chinaman?

Speaker 1 Tesla.

Speaker 1 A Tesla.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, typical, comrade.

Speaker 1 You've driven around. He's always got the most avant-garde

Speaker 1 car of his time. Really? Yeah, Citroen Maserati was.

Speaker 1 And it was stolen. And it was out of the repair shop.
The Citroën repair shop was stolen. And it was gone for like

Speaker 1 three months. And they simply called him up and found it, came back with a burnt-out clutch and an iconic Baja sticker

Speaker 1 really

Speaker 1 took it to Mexico tobacco one time. He came out of his store and the kid was looking at his car saying, Hey, listen, is this your car?

Speaker 1 Yes,

Speaker 1 sure, it's ugly.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was the best one.

Speaker 1 He always has oh man. I love that you're not

Speaker 1 precious about doing the Mexican accent. Oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 But I mean,

Speaker 1 come on, just between us girls. Yeah.
There are a lot of people in show business who are very precious. Oh, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 funny's funny. Funny's money.

Speaker 1 At this point, it's nice to have a track record, so you know, it's a foundation. What do I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, who's it hurting?

Speaker 1 Some of you. You know, who's it hurting? I know.
That's the thing.

Speaker 1 I mean, they are way too sensitive these days, don't you think?

Speaker 1 It's a sensitive time here. Everybody's fucking sensitive.

Speaker 1 Right, but

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't know

Speaker 1 what exactly

Speaker 1 they could go after that you guys did.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 partly you're protected because you wear the magic armor of not being limitations white.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, see, that's it.

Speaker 1 So I don't think they would go after you.

Speaker 1 But you look at any movie from 20 years ago, 30 years ago. I swear to God, you will not be able to

Speaker 1 go 10 minutes without finding something we just wouldn't do in a movie now.

Speaker 1 You know, just people were different, and the mores were different. Yeah, the rhythm was different.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 it was a different music, just like there was different music strains come through.

Speaker 1 I mean, people in the 90s, they hit women in movies, like the good guy. Yeah,

Speaker 1 really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, Andy Garcia does it in

Speaker 1 that great cop movie with Richard Gere.

Speaker 1 Oh, the remake? No, it wasn't a remake. It was called Internal Affairs.

Speaker 1 I think it's Richard Gere's best movie. He's awesome and he's the bad cop.
Oh, I want to see that. Oh, you never saw that? Andy Garcia.
It is the good cop, and he's married to

Speaker 1 Nancy Travis. And he hits her.

Speaker 1 And it's okay. He's the good good guy.
It's just like, and it's even worse because they're like, well, he's a hothead.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 you know who the hotheads are? The Chinese.

Speaker 1 The Chinese hotheads.

Speaker 1 No, they're the.

Speaker 1 It will be a very interesting story as it plays out to see who

Speaker 1 is the winner of the 21st century because you could make a case for China. They have many advantages we don't, like being a dictatorship.
They can just decide to do something and they do it.

Speaker 1 They can build a bridge in 19 days if they want to.

Speaker 1 In 2014, they said they declared a war on global warming. Yeah,

Speaker 1 they went way faster because they could just order people to do it.

Speaker 1 And they're a surveillance state, horrible surveillance. Everybody's under surveillance.
We're getting there, but we're still kind of of free.

Speaker 1 And people want to come here, you know, and we have advantages they don't have. I mean, our tech industries kill in the world.

Speaker 1 Like, we are so dominant in the one industry that is the dominant industry.

Speaker 1 Facebook and Google and you know, Apple, and they all want to be that, and they're not. So maybe we'll stay supreme,

Speaker 1 or maybe your side will win.

Speaker 1 Bow to you,

Speaker 1 but I won't forget my friends.

Speaker 1 Oh, good.

Speaker 1 What's your name again? Tongue.

Speaker 1 Well, that's a good reason to have some Republican friends

Speaker 1 in case they win.

Speaker 1 You don't want to be that Guantanamo Bay thing you were talking about. It's nice to have some friends on the other side.

Speaker 1 Do you?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 You don't have any Republican friends? I don't.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I guess. You shouldn't judge people by that.
No,

Speaker 1 just

Speaker 1 depends on how annoying they are about being Trumpy.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, not every Republican is Trumpy. Well, okay.
But even when they're Trumpy,

Speaker 1 you don't have to talk about it all the time.

Speaker 1 You know, I always say you can hate him. You can't hate everybody who likes him.

Speaker 1 It's half the country. And there's some people you like.
There's some musicians you like, I'm sure, who voted for Trump.

Speaker 1 And they're just not bad people.

Speaker 1 It would take too long and it's too mishe-gust and it's too political to get into why that is. It just is.

Speaker 1 First of all,

Speaker 1 most I think politics comes out of people's personality. Like you have a personality first.

Speaker 1 Like you're a prig.

Speaker 1 You're the Christian guy who's like poking in the wrong hole and, you know,

Speaker 1 God, and I only kissed one woman. Okay, that's his personality.
Now, what party is he going to go into?

Speaker 1 The Republicans. Right? He's just, that's.

Speaker 1 Or,

Speaker 1 oh, my God, I'm like scared of everything. And I think everyone should wear masks all the time.

Speaker 1 even at home

Speaker 1 to prevent even one death. You know, there are people like that.

Speaker 1 What party are they going to?

Speaker 1 The Democrats, right? Yep. Yeah.
So it's all like personality. But I don't hate people for their personalities.
Yeah. Because we all know that from family.
You know,

Speaker 1 my uncle, some of them were like, oh, this guy's kind of a dick.

Speaker 1 But, you know, he's our dick now.

Speaker 1 You know, my father's sister married him. And okay.

Speaker 1 I remember my parents' attitude was like, yeah, we get it. He's kind of a,

Speaker 1 they knew he was Republican. Yeah, yeah.
They didn't love it, but it wasn't like a deal breaker. It's like

Speaker 1 we didn't have Thanksgiving. And

Speaker 1 he is who he is.

Speaker 1 And that's what bugs me the most about what goes on today is the people who are like, I don't know. breathe the same air as you.

Speaker 1 Like, fuck off.

Speaker 1 You're right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm always right. Only everyone would

Speaker 1 understand that. We can save a lot of time.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you.

Speaker 1 Smiling green is human.

Speaker 1 You've had a nice acting career.

Speaker 1 It's been, it's good. You do.
Thank you. I used to watch Nash Bridges.

Speaker 1 That was, that was, you learned a lot about Cameron, that show.

Speaker 1 Boy,

Speaker 1 and it was fun working with that with Don and that

Speaker 1 cast always loved him and we had a good rhythm you know

Speaker 1 he is one of those

Speaker 1 good-looking

Speaker 1 chicks of gods

Speaker 1 that you know yeah the girls want to want him and the guys want to be him yeah and but he was always cool about it he loves to have a good time he loves to have a good time

Speaker 1 but yeah Yeah.

Speaker 1 He loves it.

Speaker 1 That was a, you know, I was stepped right into an hour show and that's like,

Speaker 1 takes over your life. That's all you do is the show.
Right. And then you wake up and go there.

Speaker 1 No, I remember in the 80s, I mostly made my living as an actor because that's what we all did as young comics.

Speaker 1 I kept doing comedy on the Tonight Show and stuff, but it was like, no, you got to get a sitcom. You know, that's where everyone's mentality was.

Speaker 1 i'd be the next freddie prince yeah well i mean not everyone

Speaker 1 thank you very much the good part

Speaker 1 bad example

Speaker 1 you know what i'd worry about it but like how many people watching even remember it's a shame he was a giant talent

Speaker 1 I remember, do you remember him on the tonight when he, I mean,

Speaker 1 that was a major, first of all, there weren't non-white comics.

Speaker 1 Again, kids, we've come a long way

Speaker 1 just in our lifetimes. But yeah, having a Puerto Rican, I mean, there were black comics, Bill Cosby and Flip Wilson.
Yes, it wasn't like quite that bad, but I don't remember a Puerto Rican one.

Speaker 1 I mean, that was his hook, right?

Speaker 1 Was that and his whole first set was about, you know, Puerto Rican and

Speaker 1 Puerto Rican guy and things I do or what a Puerto Rican would do.

Speaker 1 You know, and America America found it

Speaker 1 charming and confessional. And, you know, I remember that thing about my super in the building, you know, and people are in Iowa like, what's a building?

Speaker 1 Honey, it's a place where people live,

Speaker 1 back where they crowd them together with all the minorities. Okay, a building, all right.
So an apartment at a super.

Speaker 1 It's like, and you know, when Freddie would go to a super, the super would always say, it's not my job. My job.

Speaker 1 Look how I'm saying it in front of him.

Speaker 1 It was cool because there was still that

Speaker 1 west-east-east-west divide, you know, because of the predominance of Mexican culture out here in L.A.

Speaker 1 Are we in L.A.? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And back east in New York, Puerto Rican

Speaker 1 culture was set. So that was there were two different

Speaker 1 sides of the deal.

Speaker 1 But he was playing, if you could compare it to music and that salsa rhythm and that tune. Yeah, I always thought it was

Speaker 1 silly at best that the census would list like Latino and then lump in

Speaker 1 Puerto Rican,

Speaker 1 Mexican, Cuban.

Speaker 1 That's when they came up with the Hispanic.

Speaker 1 You're lucky they're not killing each other. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 then they came up with the Hispanic that I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then Hispanics. And then for me,

Speaker 1 Latinx.

Speaker 1 Latinx. No,

Speaker 1 that's after Chicano.

Speaker 1 When I first became aware of the term Chicano,

Speaker 1 that's who I am. That describes me to a T.
You know,

Speaker 1 it's a Mexican-American with a kind of defiant political attitude. You know, and it confrontive, and his art is about that.

Speaker 1 And that's what I saw at the beginning of it.

Speaker 1 And it was a movement that, you know.

Speaker 1 That's what the word Chicano means. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Just see you or

Speaker 1 it was an insult from Mexicans to other Mexicans living in the United States

Speaker 1 because they were not Mexicanos anymore. They were something else because they had moved to the other side of the border and they were living in tin shacks.
And

Speaker 1 there's something less and so they were chicos they were little little little mexicans that live you know they're chicanos and so they were the los los de abajo you know the under the underclass and so that's where and so at at the first it was an insult and the you know

Speaker 1 depending on where you lived but over the years you know it's as those my my father's generations grew up always called themselves chicanos you know well to show how far we've come again,

Speaker 1 like I won't say this is when I was born, but not that long before I was born, the most prominent actor to play a Mexican in a movie was Spencer Tracy.

Speaker 1 The old man in the sea.

Speaker 1 He did a couple of Steinbeck. Yeah.
You know, that's who they're like, all right, we need a Mexican-American casting call.

Speaker 1 Spencer Tracy. Spencer Tracy.

Speaker 1 And they just were at, again,

Speaker 1 number five Edicts and Pancake. Yeah, literally.

Speaker 1 Just the level of change. Like, to go from that to, like, can you imagine, I always want to say to these people, just imagine

Speaker 1 suggesting that today. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's do Glenn Powell as the Mexican. Yeah, yeah.
They would just fucking shoot you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely. But I have to say,

Speaker 1 Spencer Tracy, great as a Mexican. I mean, I was totally into it right now.

Speaker 1 I watched Giant recently. Did you?

Speaker 1 That's exactly the right reaction.

Speaker 1 Because I'd always heard it was great, like this classic. You remember the movie? Oh, yeah.
Okay, Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor, and her height of vava-voomdum. James Dean.
James Dean.

Speaker 1 Right before the.

Speaker 1 Again, planes. Oh, no, that was a car.
Okay. That was a car.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 well, I was bored to tears, but

Speaker 1 it did, to me, it was like, oh, this great classic, it's going to be great.

Speaker 1 But I see why it was ahead of its time. It was 1956, the year I was born.
And it's about racism in Texas and how they treated Mexicans. And,

Speaker 1 you know, that was new.

Speaker 1 Big studio to do, yeah. Yes.
Yeah. And so I think that's why that movie hangs on that reputation because it just did something

Speaker 1 groundbreaking.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, there you go.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 sometimes the wedge gets, you know,

Speaker 1 it's,

Speaker 1 you cannot look at any form of entertainment right now and not see some kind of Latin name in the credits somewhere somewhere

Speaker 1 on every level. You know, the world has just come such a long way.

Speaker 1 And, you know, the problem with the woke people sometimes is like, they really just hate to acknowledge the progress. It's like, I'm just being real.
I'm not saying

Speaker 1 we should stop or that we're all there, but like

Speaker 1 the Olympics. Like, I've watched the Olympics since I was a kid.
Like, white countries had just white people.

Speaker 1 Now every country, and again, I'm not complaining about this. I'm celebrating it.
Great. We're all mixed together now.
But, you know, Ireland had

Speaker 1 black athletes. The only country, no blacks, Russia, which is why the Fox News crowd loves Russia.
Because it's like the last place where they're like, mm-mm.

Speaker 1 We don't do that multiple times. Black Russians? No.
Yeah, that's a drink. That's a drink.
That's not a thing.

Speaker 1 A drink, not a thing. That's Putin's motto.

Speaker 1 But yeah, like the world, I think I read in Andrew Sullivan's column that

Speaker 1 like London used to be

Speaker 1 like in the 60s or something, like, I don't know,

Speaker 1 10%

Speaker 1 non-white, and now it's like 80%.

Speaker 1 I'm sure I have those numbers on, but it's some huge number like this. Again, not complaining, just saying, let's acknowledge this is where the world is.
This is what liberals wanted.

Speaker 1 This is what we were asking for. Yeah.
So, you know, refine it now. Yeah.
Yeah, there's work to be done always, but let's

Speaker 1 pretend it's, I mean,

Speaker 1 just if you just on a gastronomic level,

Speaker 1 we started going to London in when it was 73, 70, right around 73, the first time in London. And the food was horrible, horrible.
It was just horrible. Yep.
And it was the only

Speaker 1 Indian food or

Speaker 1 Chinese.

Speaker 1 Italian.

Speaker 1 If you could find them good.

Speaker 1 But over the years, plum,

Speaker 1 London was popping

Speaker 1 with good restaurants. Oh, of course.

Speaker 1 It's completely Americanized now.

Speaker 1 For better and worse. Well, they have international, you know, that.
But not just the food. I mean, I remember...
going to London the first time in the mid-80s.

Speaker 1 And first of all, it was all white.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 there was like two television shows

Speaker 1 on at night.

Speaker 1 Like there was two stations, like BBC One and BBC Two. Like commercial fun television just wasn't a thing.
And this is the 80s.

Speaker 1 When I went back in the 90s, oh, it, you know, then it was like the same game shows, but in British, the same, and we took some of them. Wasn't Simon Cowles stuff?

Speaker 1 Isn't that, you know, there's just been a big cross-seating of American and British television. You know, we liked the same bullshit.
They'd have their version of like whatever, you know,

Speaker 1 Bachelor or, you know, fuck me island or

Speaker 1 whatever it is. You know.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, we're, we're, we're probably two alike. You know, we're the used, you know, I hope.
I don't know what the state of it is now, but

Speaker 1 London, expensive. Yeah.
I haven't been there in a while. Have you been to London lately?

Speaker 1 Nope. Nope.

Speaker 1 Italy.

Speaker 1 Italy.

Speaker 1 Italy. Where's the last time?

Speaker 1 You wouldn't know if he left the country? I was in Italy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sicily.

Speaker 1 I have to pee.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to release you. I could talk to you guys all night.
It's so much fun.

Speaker 1 I'm so flattered that you would just come here and do this. I know you don't do a lot of things together.

Speaker 1 It just

Speaker 1 meant the world to me.

Speaker 1 Loved it.

Speaker 1 Every bad comic who does a pot joke owes

Speaker 1 a debt of gratitude. All right.
I'll let you all go. Thank you.
Thanks, Bill. Thanks.
All right.

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