Tom Green | Club Random

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Speaker 1 Well, I don't know what you thought this program was, Mr. Green, but it's a family of shows.

Speaker 1 It's a family show.

Speaker 1 Who's the biggest election canceler than Donald Trump? You know, he was my old boss. He fired me on the Celebrity Apprentice.
I have to hear this story.

Speaker 1 Hey, Bill, how are you? Tom. Tom.

Speaker 1 Listen. Oh, my gosh.
Are we wearing the same shirt? Yeah, mine's better. Good to see you, man.
Yours is more like a farmer shirt. Yes, exactly, because I'm a farmer now.
I know you are. I am a farmer.

Speaker 1 Mine's fresh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Very? Listen,

Speaker 1 Mike.

Speaker 1 I borrowed that weed walker from you 24 years ago, and I have been meaning to give it back to you. I actually got it back today.
I was wondering about that.

Speaker 1 Now, for people who are wondering what I'm referring to, you used to live here. That's true.
You have very

Speaker 1 next door. Yeah, until it burned down.

Speaker 1 I lived here two weeks and then you burned your house down on purpose. Yeah, well.
Why? It wasn't exactly the way it went, but

Speaker 1 Drew did. Yeah.
I do remember having a conversation. I probably just moved to Los Angeles just weeks earlier.

Speaker 1 And I remember having a conversation with you through the fence once because the dog ran over there or something. Through the fence.

Speaker 1 Just like regular people.

Speaker 1 Just like regular neighbors. Stars are just like us.

Speaker 1 I moved here in January of 2001.

Speaker 1 When did you move next door, which is now this store?

Speaker 1 It must have been in

Speaker 1 2000, I would say, because it was when my show was on MTV in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 Was Drew already living here?

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, she was. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was basically.
So you moved into this place, but it was already here.

Speaker 1 She already had it. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Yeah.
So yeah, I was basically

Speaker 1 doing my show on MTV. I just moved to Los Angeles and I was here for probably just a couple of months or something like that.
Not too, too long. But yeah, it was because the place burned down.

Speaker 1 So then we moved.

Speaker 1 That was a scary thing. Now, were you here the night that that happened? Do you remember the fire?

Speaker 1 It's so funny.

Speaker 1 Two weeks after I move in, and of course, you don't really know where you are in the house versus the street.

Speaker 1 You're just getting reoriented. There were still boxes in my living room.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I remember

Speaker 1 emailing my assistant and said,

Speaker 1 I think it was a Sunday.

Speaker 1 And I said, I didn't get the Sunday New York Times today.

Speaker 1 Do you have to know why?

Speaker 1 And she emailed back, yeah, because there were 16 fire trucks on your street. Wow, that's amazing.
Yeah. And you must have slept pretty good through that, huh?

Speaker 1 Apparently, my bedroom is, I know it now is, is on the opposite side of my house. So this property, it was, and

Speaker 1 this house was set quite a bit back. But yeah, you would have thought I would have heard.

Speaker 1 I didn't think I'd sleep that well today.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that was a scary situation for sure. I had just gone, about six months earlier, just gone through cancer treatment.
Right. Because I had had testicular cancer while I was on MTV.
So my show had ended.

Speaker 1 I fear that one. Yeah, that's not a fun one to have.
But it's a good one because you don't die from it usually. Right.
How do they detect it?

Speaker 1 Well, I noticed something was kind of...

Speaker 1 I felt some pain down there in my right testicle. Actual pain.
Yeah, it was a throbbing kind of sort of thing. And I went to the doctor and got checked out, and that's what happened.

Speaker 1 You didn't feel anything?

Speaker 1 Well, like, I mean, yeah, a little bit of pain. No, I mean, like, when you felt your, did you go, hmm, did I used to have three balls? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, well, actually, the right one had gotten significantly larger as well, which I was kind of thinking. That's what I mean.
Yeah, yeah. So it felt like there was.

Speaker 1 So if I check my balls and they feel basically

Speaker 1 equa,

Speaker 1 I'm okay, you think? I think so, yeah. You would feel something, some sort of a dull, aching pain is what I felt.
Some people feel more pain, like sharper pain, but I felt a dull, aching pain.

Speaker 1 And then you'll go to the doctor, and sometimes they'll misdiagnose it.

Speaker 1 And so, like, I was misdiagnosed initially as. Is that right? Yeah, they said it was epididymitis, and I was putting me on antibiotics for a few weeks.

Speaker 1 And we went off and shot another show with Monica Lewinsky. Well, we drove up to can't flew up to Canada with her and shot a television show for MTV with her.

Speaker 1 She's felt a few balls in her day. You know, I'm just

Speaker 1 lobbing these up for you, Phil.

Speaker 1 I appreciate you

Speaker 1 taking the bait there on that one. Oh, any time.

Speaker 1 Monica Lewinsky said, well, not to get off on a tangent, not that we have an agenda here. So one could buy everything is a tangent.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I take a lot of shit for my views about medicine, which I don't think are weird at all. I'm just more skeptical, I think, than most people.

Speaker 1 And it's because, partly because, partly, and just anecdotally,

Speaker 1 I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase, and it was misdiagnosed.

Speaker 1 And it's like, I'm not saying you guys aren't trying in the medical field. I'm not saying you're corrupt, although there is some of that.

Speaker 1 And I'm certainly not saying that everything Bobby Kennedy is right, says is right.

Speaker 1 But yes, I'm skeptical of everything.

Speaker 1 You guys very often don't. get it right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So don't fucking look at me like, how dare you question what we in the white coats are saying? Because when have we ever gotten one wrong? Yeah. A lot.
You get it wrong a lot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So no, I don't take anything you say at face value. And I'm just not going to march to whatever you say because you are the science.
Yeah, I think.

Speaker 1 Damn it, Tom. You've got me all riled up about your balls.
Yes, absolutely. These aren't even my balls, and I'm pissed off.
Did you just make yourself a drink there? Yes, can I do it for you?

Speaker 1 I suppose I should have a drink then, yeah. If you want.
Yeah, what did you have there? What did you make there? It's a little...

Speaker 1 tequila. Okay, that sounds good.
Yeah, I think. A little rot gut.
Why not? I've never heard a farmer like you. Absolutely.
Canadian farmer can have that.

Speaker 1 Can I make you the same drink? Yeah, what are you mixing with? This is an interesting concoction. First, we, of course, have ice.

Speaker 1 Would you like to pour your own ice?

Speaker 1 I don't want to put my hand in it. No problem, no problem.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then would you just mix it with some water or what are you putting in the water? We will add the.

Speaker 1 I'm doing a cooking show now with you. Yeah.
I feel like our future has a cooking show in it. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 That would be amazing if it involved tequila. It's all the same.
Cooking with liquor. Yeah.
I'm going to call it. I mean, it's different.
Okay. So then we add, this is jing,

Speaker 1 and this is because I'm a health nut. Okay.
This is, I love this stuff. It's a way to make.

Speaker 1 uh sparkling water into a diet soda without any of the chemicals that are in diet soda okay okay oh sure but not even the stuff that's in the non-sugar ones, which are still chemical.

Speaker 1 It's like a flavored sort of chemical. Yes, and then we add the sparkling water.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Now, there are some health nuts, real nuts, and anyone who is more to the left than me is nuts, of course, who don't even think sparkling water is good for you. But you know what? You got to do it.

Speaker 1 So there's some sort of carbon in that or something? Carbonated. I can't even remember why.
I'm sure, you know,

Speaker 1 is anything as good as clear mountain water? No. But we got none of that here.
What we got is liquor and good time. That looks good.
And,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 1 There we go. That looks like a nice drink there for sure.
All right. Cheers, Bill.
Thank you. Great to see you.
Great to see you, too. Congratulations.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 My fiance was here as well. Oh.
I'm engaged. My fiancé's out in the control room.
Well, I hope you're engaged to your fiancée. Because other than that, it doesn't look like lunch, but commitment.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, but I saw you the front page of the New York Times Arts and Leisure.
Wasn't that something? And I was like, wow, this guy is iconic. He never sorts.

Speaker 1 He always reinvents himself. The public never doesn't want to read about him or see him in whatever new iteration he's in.
You know, he's a real artist. You are.
I mean, when I think of like...

Speaker 1 when you first blew up and you were like one of those rare rock star comedians, really cover Rolling Stone type stuff. Yeah, it was wild time for sure.
And now you're a fucking farmer.

Speaker 1 No, but,

Speaker 1 you know, it makes sense because in life you do go through passages. You aren't the same person you are at 22.
Yeah. How old are you now? I'm 53.
Yeah, 53.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I mean,

Speaker 1 I'm not essentially

Speaker 1 doing a lot of farming, really.

Speaker 1 I live on a farm. I have a hay.
There's hay fields that we cut the hay. And I have a donkey and a mule.
And I ride this mule. I didn't know anything about it.

Speaker 1 What is the difference between the donkey and the mule? Yeah, because I actually thought they were the same before I got the mule. A mule is half horse, half donkey, so it's like a hybrid.

Speaker 1 So it's like her fanny is her name, and her father was a mammoth donkey, and her mother was a Percheron horse. Horse, half donkey, half donkey,

Speaker 1 they have 62 chromosomes. A donkey has

Speaker 1 63 chromosomes. A donkey has 62, and a horse has 64.

Speaker 1 It might be the other way around, but

Speaker 1 one way or another, the odd number of chromosomes, the 63 chromosomes, means they're sterile, can't reproduce. So the only way you can make a mule,

Speaker 1 two mules won't make another mule, you can't breed mules. You have to get donkeys and horses and put them together.

Speaker 1 What's odd to me about the whole thing is that donkeys and horses fuck, because the definition of a species usually is

Speaker 1 creatures that will only fuck creatures that are in, like, you know, leopards don't fuck tigers. Right.
Yeah. Although you'd think if you're horny one night,

Speaker 1 you'd be like, okay, I was looking for a tiger, but I mean, is it that different? But they, but they don't. It's generally the male donkey

Speaker 1 fucking

Speaker 1 or the female horse. I know.
Not the other way around. Right.

Speaker 1 So like a horse doesn't generally want to have sex with a, i'll say it more politely have sex with a uh right with the donkey for some reason so and it's i don't know it's uh i wasn't there when it happened you know i just got

Speaker 1 i uh she was 11 10 years old when i got her but it was uh

Speaker 1 it was it's been a lot of fun yeah well you say you weren't there but i've certainly um seen in enough movies

Speaker 1 And that's where I know everything I know about farming from,

Speaker 1 where someone has to assist

Speaker 1 the horse

Speaker 1 in the sexual act. I think when you're getting two different species to procreate, there's a little bit of human interaction.
Even if it's not two, even if it's just two horses. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, they want, of course, the horses to mate because they want a pony. And

Speaker 1 who doesn't want a pony for your birthday?

Speaker 1 But they have to, like,

Speaker 1 lubricate sometimes the horse. Okay, yeah.
So I'm a new farmer, so I don't know everything. Well, I'm saying this is in your future.
You're going to have to learn to jerk off a horse.

Speaker 1 I could see, you know, if you've seen Freddy Got Fingered, I mean, I know a little bit about that.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. I forgot about Freddy Got Fingered.
But no, it's been an amazing thing. You know, I moved back to Canada, where I'm from.
So I live not too far from where I grew up.

Speaker 1 And my parents lived down the road. And,

Speaker 1 you know, I

Speaker 1 found this property. And maybe.
Can we say what province this is? It's in Ontario, yeah. Yeah, sort of between Toronto and Ottawa, closer to Ottawa, yeah.
Don't tell the nuts where you live.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's Ontario's pretty big. Ontario is about twice the size of Texas, so we'll they'll have a hard time narrowing it down just from that.
But

Speaker 1 we're a big country up there, the future 51st state, potentially. Well, fingers crossed.
It'll be the only state in America where nobody in it wants to be American.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, except for Jordan Peterson, Wayne Gretzky, and that guy from Shark Tank.

Speaker 1 Well, Jordan is sat there.

Speaker 1 I'm a good guy. Have you had Wayne on yet? Yeah.
Wayne Gretzky? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know he's a hockey player. I never followed hockey.
The great one, the great one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why is he a big right-winger?

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I do know that he hangs out a little bit at Mar-a-Lago, and that it may be that

Speaker 1 Mr. Trump was, President Trump was attempting to maybe get him to run for prime minister.

Speaker 1 Are you happier now that you're in Canada? I am, actually. It's not that I wasn't...

Speaker 1 It's just a nice, it's nice to be closer to my family, and

Speaker 1 it's a nice change for sure.

Speaker 1 I like being in nature. I like being out in the...

Speaker 1 Is it something you couldn't have done unless you were getting engaged? I mean, it's a very different thing to move alone to someplace. Actually, I met her there.
So I met her after I moved.

Speaker 1 I moved three and a half years ago. I met her up there.
And

Speaker 1 so she's Canadian. And

Speaker 1 my life's really coming together as soon as I went back to Canada. I don't know what it is, Bill.
Do you have kids? No kids, no. So do you think you're going to start a family now?

Speaker 1 I would like to, yeah, yeah. And what will you tell your kids you do?

Speaker 1 Because certainly you're not going to admit to being Tom Green. I mean,

Speaker 1 that certainly isn't. I'll show them the documentary.
Not until they're like 20. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'll probably tell them I'm a comedian. I too are doing stand-up comedy.
I don't know if I'll bring him to mind of my shows in the first 10 years, but

Speaker 1 maybe I'll show him the documentary that I just put out. That should explain it.
What about Freddy Finger?

Speaker 1 You'll have to wait till they're at least 14 to see that.

Speaker 1 What was the controversy with that? I forget. I remember it was a very big.

Speaker 1 They wrote about it a lot.

Speaker 1 What year are we talking about? We're talking about 2000, I believe it was. 2000.
Oh, really? 2000, 2001. Early 2001.
Early 2010. So it was like the fire and then that.
Yeah, it was, it was right.

Speaker 1 A lot of things happened in close succession. You should have read your horoscope that week.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Mercury was in retrograde or something. You know, a lot of good things happened.
A lot of weird things happened.

Speaker 1 You know, I mean, the fact that they let me direct the movie and do this movie when I was just on MTV. Why are people so mad about it? I think it was just,

Speaker 1 I mean, it's a good question because it's kind of gotten a little bit of a resurgence. Yes, that's what happens.
People actually say they like it now.

Speaker 1 time

Speaker 1 time is great for that yeah yeah it was one of these things where it was obviously it was a very

Speaker 1 you know i i pushed the envelope as far as the outrageousness in the scenes and it was very silly um i don't know if there was a feeling of why is why was i directing this thing or i don't know i don't it's really hard to say

Speaker 1 it was one of those things though where i had that opening weekend experience where you know there was all of this anticipation. We were all really excited about it.

Speaker 1 You know, we thought it was pretty funny. You know, we enjoyed it.
And then

Speaker 1 when it came, you know, when the Roger Ebert came out and sort of did his sort of review of it, it was kind of like, oh, that's not very good, is it? Now, you know, so it was

Speaker 1 sort of very

Speaker 1 disheartening. Explain to the kids, Tom, explain to the kids out there this Roger Ebert you speak of.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So back in the

Speaker 1 back in the olden times, times,

Speaker 1 three movies would come out every weekend, and it was very important that you went to the right one and spent your money in the right place.

Speaker 1 So they would have these critics who would advise you on how to spend your hard-earned dollar. So people would watch that as a television show? They would watch critics talk about the movie.

Speaker 1 It was a thing called television, of course. Yeah, absolutely.
And

Speaker 1 they were very respected, their opinions. Would they tell you which movies had done best at the box office that week?

Speaker 1 Yes, they were. Of course, yes.
That was a big thing. Of course, and it was very.
And I remember there were people who complained about it.

Speaker 1 It shouldn't, we shouldn't know because we should just be able to decide on the merits of the movie and not by, oh, it's number one. Of course, I'm going to see the number one movie.

Speaker 1 As if I ever did that. As if I ever looked at it and went, well, it's number six.
I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's

Speaker 1 Kubrick, but it's six. So

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 head of the studio, New Regency, Arnon Milshon. I don't know if you know Arnon.

Speaker 1 I know of him. He took me aside after the Roger Ebert negative review and told me, you know, my very first movie, Tom, was King of Comedy.
And Roger Ebert, you know, destroyed it.

Speaker 1 And 20 years later, he actually was the only movie he's ever reversed his opinion on it.

Speaker 1 That's a Martin Scorsese movie. Exactly.

Speaker 1 But funnily enough, he did kind of, a few years later, Ebert did kind of give a little bit of a, not a complete reversal, but he said, well, I'm still thinking about that movie.

Speaker 1 There's something weird about it. What did Gene Sisko say? Well,

Speaker 1 it was actually Ebert and Roper. Remember, there was

Speaker 1 a short period of time there where it was

Speaker 1 Roper. And he didn't like it either.

Speaker 1 So, but it wasn't really. It's weird because, you know,

Speaker 1 well, it's very much like stand-up in a lot of ways. You can sort of choose to

Speaker 1 shock or polarize your audience, or

Speaker 1 you know, maybe purposefully, you know, push half of the audience away for the entertainment of the other half of the audience. This is what I thought we were doing.

Speaker 1 We were making this movie that was going to be so weird that maybe half the audience would get up and walk out of the theater, and then the half that remained would be sitting there like they were in on the joke, right?

Speaker 1 People like you and me never have the whole audience, and very few people do,

Speaker 1 And that's okay.

Speaker 1 It's a big country.

Speaker 1 But I mean, I get it the way you're explaining. To me, it's like, that's what an artist does.
I make the movie I think is funny.

Speaker 1 And some people are not going to like it. And I know that going in.
And that's okay. Because I'm not playing to them.
I mean, that's what I go by. Yeah.
And I think with that movie, part of it was

Speaker 1 I guess we kind of felt like part of the punchline was the fact that some people just weren't going to get it.

Speaker 1 Like that was kind of the punchline you know like this was so stupid that like how could you have made something so stupid and then get people get angry about it and that's what's funny and so

Speaker 1 i was surprised that that roger ebert and roper uh weren't able to kind of sort of step back a bit and go some 28 year old kid who's just you know fell off the turnip truck here in los angeles and he's trying to to make a weird movie and let's you know maybe understand that this isn't you know he wasn't trying to make the jazz singer you know this is uh supposed to be

Speaker 1 stupid, but instead it was just sort of treated as it was not a successful. I'm sure you're a fan of Spinal Tap.
Sure, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 And of course, there's the great line in Spinal Tap where he says, it's a fine line between clever and stupid.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. When they're accused of, yeah.

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Speaker 1 And in a way, there actually is.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's just how something strikes you. I mean, there are people who saw Spinal Tap and didn't understand it was a mockumentary at all.

Speaker 1 They just took it at face value and went, well, this band isn't very good. Yeah, yeah, that's amazing because that was sort of,

Speaker 1 you know, what year would Spinal Tap have been? Early 80s or

Speaker 1 early 80s? Late 70s, early 80s? Mid 70s. Mid-80s, then.
Early 80s?

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're doing. Yeah, I guess so.
I mean, it's Rob Reiner's first movie, right?

Speaker 1 Yes, let's just say 80s. It's kind of amazing to think that people would have actually believed it

Speaker 1 was real.

Speaker 1 I remember when I started my show in the 90s and I was pulling pranks on my parents, people didn't understand that they were not actors at first. They thought, oh, are those.

Speaker 1 People would say, are those your real parents? You know, they hadn't sort of been inundated with reality TV yet.

Speaker 1 So they were sort of unable to sort of process the fact that some kid would go, you know, paint pornography on his parents' car or paint their house.

Speaker 1 And so they just thought they were actors, which blew me away because I mean, they obviously weren't actors, it was obviously

Speaker 1 home video kind of thing. Yeah, I mean, it was, I feel like, a bridge to something like Borat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was like just before that, and just right, just before that, yeah, yeah. So it was, yeah.

Speaker 1 So when, so, so, let me ask you this: when did you decide you wanted to do a second tv show in your living room here

Speaker 1 uh well of course it's not my living room i bought your house sure sure sure

Speaker 1 so um this is this this was always a strange

Speaker 1 room this this building

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 many people told me to tear it down. I mean, I didn't buy the house directly from you.
Somebody else bought it for a few years and I bought it from him.

Speaker 1 So up top is a tigi bar. I was told Drew put that in.
Okay. Yeah, I'm not sure.
I don't actually recall ever being in this room. So I.
Really? Yeah, it might have been the second

Speaker 1 after me was this was built or maybe, I don't know. I'm not sure.
No, I think this was here when you were. Okay.
I think you were just stoned and

Speaker 1 didn't see it. I mean, really, you don't really.
You know, I did not smoke marijuana when I was making my show back in the day. I was like afraid of it.

Speaker 1 I was like this uptight kid who didn't smoke marijuana. I do occasionally now, but back then I I was not,

Speaker 1 maybe I'll wait a little bit because

Speaker 1 I might stop.

Speaker 1 I'll make even less sense than I make now.

Speaker 1 They used to be so

Speaker 1 uptight about just mentioning stuff. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 1 it was like, I'm trying to think of what an analogy for today would be, like pedophilia or something, just like, you know, just

Speaker 1 Nazism.

Speaker 1 It was an amped up anti-drug era in the 80s with the, this is your brain on drugs and Nancy Reagan and the egg and the frying pan and it's like that's my brain in a frying pan frying my brain.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I can see why people would have been a little worried about it with that sort of being constantly plugged into our minds. But

Speaker 1 yeah, it was a billboard, I remember on the way to LAX back when I was often on that road,

Speaker 1 you know, that road that connects like the 405 to the to LAX. Okay.
I can't remember it. Right, right.

Speaker 1 But I was on it a zillion times. And there was a billboard.
And it was, you know, like one of those, this is your brain on it. But it was about Coke.
And it showed a line. And

Speaker 1 every time I saw it, I was like, you know, I'm not even a Coke head. And I want to do some Coke now.
Yeah. I mean, just seeing the line of Coke is like seeing.
It's sort of like an ad for

Speaker 1 seeing the egg. I want eggs.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. no it's uh well that's yeah do you have chickens because I have chickens yeah well let me tell you

Speaker 1 you can make a killing right now I've been thinking about this thing getting into the egg business maybe you and I could work something out like I mean I'm here in America still you get it to me you can be my egg distributor my dealer I'll be the yeah well it's it's amazing you know how many eggs

Speaker 1 A few chickens will lay.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't eat a ton of eggs, so I don't actually go.

Speaker 1 I have six chickens, and I have these other guinea hens, they're called, which are sort of like a cross between a quail and a turkey, but they run around the property, and they eat a lot of bugs and stuff.

Speaker 1 It's not quail and turkey fucking now, is it? No, they're actually there.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't think that's where they actually, they look like that, but they're not, they're actually their own distinct species called guinea hens. They eat a lot of ticks.

Speaker 1 A guinea hen will eat thousands and thousands of ticks and bugs a day, so they clear out the whole property of all these. Do you have have ticks up there?

Speaker 1 Well, you know, we didn't until five years ago. Global warming, climate change has they've moved north.

Speaker 1 They've been in the U.S., of course, forever, but they come up from Pennsylvania and New York on the deer. But five years ago, there were no ticks in Canada, so that's climate change is real.

Speaker 1 That is one you don't know. Climate change, brother.
Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 It's Lyme disease. The Lyme disease, yeah, exactly.
So

Speaker 1 I would never go anywhere near any place that had ticks. I mean, if I don't know what I'll do if they come here, and they probably will.
They aren't in California, I I guess. Okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, there are still some at the Morris office. No, okay.

Speaker 1 Kidding. I'm actually with them now.

Speaker 1 I'm making fun of my own agency now. I forgot.
It sounds better at the Morris office. It does.
It's more old school.

Speaker 1 It was what I heard when I was a kid.

Speaker 1 I thought it was so cool to be in show business when George Burns or somebody would say, like,

Speaker 1 you know, the Morris office. And I would think, oh, gosh.
Absolutely. If I could one day.
I remember when my show was on MTV,

Speaker 1 I was signed to the William Morris Agency.

Speaker 1 It's like when you watch Danny Thomas as a kid. That's like who his agent was.

Speaker 1 That's all you knew as a civilian about agencies.

Speaker 1 Who'd have thought that they would have wound up being William Morris Endeavour? Yeah, it doesn't have the same ring to it, but I think.

Speaker 1 No, it's not the Morris office of old, but that's probably good. But I get about...
If I go in the chicken coop, back to this egg deal we're working on,

Speaker 1 and I haven't had a,

Speaker 1 I haven't gone in there for a few days. I'll go in, there'll be like 45 eggs in there.
Like each chicken is laying one or two eggs a day.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 so, you know, if

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 have six chickens, you definitely will never be able to eat all the eggs that those six chickens will produce. It is amazing to think that if we weren't a species that was so into chicken abortions,

Speaker 1 what

Speaker 1 the world would be overrun with chickens.

Speaker 1 Every egg we ate had become a chicken. You know, the thing is, well, you know, they're not fertilized yet unless you have a rooster.
So they're not really... Oh, is that right?

Speaker 1 I don't know if it would be considered a chicken abortion until the... So I don't have a rooster.
So if you don't have a rooster, then the eggs are never going to hatch.

Speaker 1 What does the rooster do to the egg? Well, I think it just

Speaker 1 fucks the chicken, actually. But then

Speaker 1 the egg comes out. Then the egg comes out, and it's a fertilized egg, and there's an embryo in it.
And just like

Speaker 1 ed class right now, Bill, you know what a chicken does.

Speaker 1 What a rooster does to a chicken.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do, but it's before the egg. Once the egg comes out, it's ready to hatch.
That's the difference with the chicken.

Speaker 1 The egg hatches outside the body, but it still has to be fertilized, I think, beforehand. So if you don't have a rooster, you never have a fertilized egg.

Speaker 1 And by the way, I didn't know any of this shit until three years ago either. So I have chickens now, so I know a lot of this stuff.
So the rooster does stud service for the entire budget of hens?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, if you have a rooster, then you'll get fertilized eggs, but then the chicken still has to sit on it and incubate it for a period of time before it hatches.

Speaker 1 So even if you have a rooster, you can still

Speaker 1 must be where the connection is with calling a cock

Speaker 1 after a rooster. Sure, absolutely.
Yeah, I think so. It must be.
Well, of course it must be. I haven't thought about that, but it must be.

Speaker 1 It must be. Why would it not be?

Speaker 1 Tom, you're so reasonable. I can't believe people think you're a weirdo.
It makes sense to me.

Speaker 1 You know, well, you know, it depends who you ask. You know, it depends who you ask.
But yeah, no, it's. It's so funny that you go from like ultimate weirdo to like ultimate non-weirdo.
I thought

Speaker 1 it's a great arc. I thought that like there's so much weird shit on the internet now.
Right. You got it.
Like how do you sort of

Speaker 1 weird? You get up in the morning, you pick up your phone, you're seeing like violence and you know herons getting chased through malls and screaming at people, and everyone fighting.

Speaker 1 Right. And,

Speaker 1 you know, so were you going to compete with that? Right. Or no, I thought maybe the weirdest thing that I could do is to go do something really normal.
You're so right. Become a farmer.

Speaker 1 Zig when they zag. Absolutely.
You know, that's it. And there's a lot of comedy in my new show.
I mean, my parents are on it. It's just more

Speaker 1 situation.

Speaker 1 The simple life type of thing.

Speaker 1 That's what it is.

Speaker 1 It's a a little bit like that. David Gabor, but you.

Speaker 1 It's the simple life.

Speaker 1 Do you remember Green Acres?

Speaker 1 We almost called the show Green Acres,

Speaker 1 but it was taken.

Speaker 1 Wasn't that great? You know, that was a little before my time, not to do it. You should watch them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was very sophisticated. I remember watching reruns of it.
I was more of a Beverly Hillbillies kind of guy. There's a layer to Green Acres that's very sophisticated.

Speaker 1 It was almost surreal because, you know, the plot was, of course, Oliver, Eddie Albert played him. He's a

Speaker 1 New York, you know, I guess he was a lawyer or something. He's wearing three-piece suits, marries Ava Gabor,

Speaker 1 who's darling,

Speaker 1 but she's hot, and she wants to live in the. Oh, no, he wants to live in the country.
She's like, oh, fuck it.

Speaker 1 We're leaving Park Avenue for the country, but he wants to, he has this thing in his head about.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 all the people around him on the farm and in the town, they're all like insane. He's the only sane one there.
And yet they also vibe with the wife because she's insane in her way.

Speaker 1 So they kind of meld, even though she hates being in the country.

Speaker 1 And he's just like this, the sane guy in the middle.

Speaker 1 And it's really very well scripted. I think you would be impressed.
It was,

Speaker 1 you know, it was sort of the opposite of the Beverly Hillbillies, right? Which was they were. I mean, I think that show was funny too.

Speaker 1 And it had a similar thing where the the hillbillies would in their

Speaker 1 own way meld with some people you wouldn't expect. But yeah, it was more just misunderstandings of

Speaker 1 you know, the cement pond and like what things were.

Speaker 1 But I feel like they, the writing back then, those writers were good.

Speaker 1 You know, those Green Gene shows that they used to call them on CBS. That's what kept CBS alive for years.
It wasn't just the Beverly Hillbillies and Green Acres. There was also Petticoat Junction.

Speaker 1 Okay. I've heard of it.
And they were all sort of, and Andy Griffith. Right.
Watched out quite a bit. They were all sort of, and they all kind of like

Speaker 1 cross-pollinated at a certain point with the ones on the other shows. It was, I think it was all taking place like in North Carolina.
I'm sure it looks very racist today.

Speaker 1 But it was shot probably in the parking lot at CBS Radford.

Speaker 1 Of course it was. And it wasn't overtly racist.
It's just that there weren't black people in existence in their world, the 60s and the South. I mean, that just...

Speaker 1 But that's where the world was, you know, I mean, yes, even liberals didn't think it was the wrong thing. So nobody should like fucking look back to the past and go, oh, we're better than you.

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Speaker 5 Hey, what's up, Flies? This is David Spade. Dana Carvey.
Look at, I know we never actually left, but I'll just say it. We are back with another season of Fly on the Wall.

Speaker 6 Every episode, including ones with guests, will now be on video. Every Thursday, you'll hear us and see us chatting with big-name celebrities.

Speaker 5 And every Monday, you're stuck with just me and Dana. We react to news, what's trending, viral clips.

Speaker 6 Follow and listen to Fly on the Wall everywhere you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 It's interesting living in Canada as a Canadian, having lived here and then moved back to Canada, and

Speaker 1 with these tariffs that are being

Speaker 1 implemented or threatened at least, people are obviously very upset in Canada about this.

Speaker 1 Now it's going to completely decimate the economy and of course it's going to have a same sort of effect on the American economy in a lot of ways. It's terrible ways.

Speaker 1 So it really doesn't make a lot of sense. No sense.
But then,

Speaker 1 you know, there's a hockey game, U.S. versus Canada, this week, and the Canadian crowd booed the American national anthem, of course.
Now, this was not a very nice thing to do normally.

Speaker 1 It's from my garden. Okay, I'll give that a case.
Where you used to lose. Under a normal set of circumstances, I don't think the Canadians would boo

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 Star-Spangled Annette. But they did not banner, but they did.
Not that I love everything that's been going on in Canada under Trudeau. Oh, because I don't.
He did legalize weed, though.

Speaker 1 That was one thing he did. I love that.
But

Speaker 1 he also resigned, so

Speaker 1 good. Good.

Speaker 1 He was super woke

Speaker 1 to a degree I can't hang with. I mean, there is a thing about that should be very important to someone like you, Tom.
Freedom of speech.

Speaker 1 There is a level of hostility to freedom of speech that's going on. And of course, the Republicans are criticizing it now, but they have no leg to stand on because they're not for it either.

Speaker 1 But there are things going on in Europe right now where they canceled an election in Romania

Speaker 1 because the wrong people won, and I'm sure they were the wrong people. But you know what?

Speaker 1 Once you start canceling elections, and again, Republicans, no standing to make this case because who's the biggest election canceler than Donald Trump?

Speaker 1 He tried every which way to cancel the 2020 election, still hasn't conceded it. You know, he was my old boss.
He fired me on the Celebrity Apprentice. I have to hear this story.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I went out drinking with Dennis Rodman on the night I was the project manager. First of all, just Dennis Rodman is hysterical And that you were drinking with him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, it was after we weren't taping the show.

Speaker 1 We were done for the day. I had a big job.
I was the project manager.

Speaker 1 You've seen the show before. You know how it works? You have to sort of compete business tasks.
I never watched that show.

Speaker 1 Well, it's a business competition, and I sort of fancied myself a pretty good businessman. We had to build a wedding dress store, and we were competing, the guys versus the girls.

Speaker 1 I had to sell more wedding dresses than Joan Rivers and Chloe Kardashian and her team. And I had

Speaker 1 Clint Black and Herschel Walker and Dennis Rodman on my team, right? And so it was very serious, right?

Speaker 1 But then after the, you know, I could tell we were kind of going to lose because my team sort of mutinied against me.

Speaker 1 Scott Hamilton as well, the Olympic gold medalist, they kind of, they kind of wanted to lose and then get me fired. And so

Speaker 1 I was kind of a little upset about that. So I went out drinking with Dennis Rodman after the show that night.
And I guess we were a little hungover in the boardroom the next day.

Speaker 1 And the president fired me. The president of the United States fired me.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 you know, going out drinking with Dennis Rodman, I have to say, is not something that recommends somebody as an employee.

Speaker 1 Again, that's just my thing with Trump. It was worth it, though.
It was worth it, though. I'm not going to pre-hate everything.
Firing you, I feel like, was the right move.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're probably right.

Speaker 1 It was not a business

Speaker 1 thing to do. You know, no, you can't trust anything he says because like the next day he changes his mind or whatever.
But I think he said last week he wanted to cut the defense budget by 50%.

Speaker 1 I've been saying that for years. Am I going to hate it now because he says it? That would be hypocritical.
Right. Or

Speaker 1 get rid of nuclear weapons. Or get rid of the penny.
Yeah, we don't need those. Well, we can't get rid of nuclear weapons unilaterally, but we could, we should reduce them.

Speaker 1 I think he was talking about trilateral,

Speaker 1 China, Russia,

Speaker 1 U.S.

Speaker 1 planet, you know, lower them.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I have to know, politics aside, like

Speaker 1 Dennis Rodman, as a Go back to this, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm just very curious. I remember, of course, I'm a basketball fan.
Yeah, yeah. You remember the court? Was that here when you were here? The basketball court?

Speaker 1 You don't remember that anything? Tommy. The tennis court.

Speaker 1 Okay, same thing. Yeah, it was a tennis court.
Ben made it into a basketball. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, yeah.

Speaker 1 What was I going to say about that? We were talking about... Oh, basketball, Dennis Rodman.
Dennis Rodman, yeah. Big basketball player.
So I remember Dennis Rodman as a player.

Speaker 1 He was best rebounder.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember I was in Chicago for some reason in 1996 when they won the championship.

Speaker 1 The night they did, and I went to this club where the, where they were partying, I met him on a championship night, like at the in the VIP room. It was like, wow, it's really cool being a celebrity.

Speaker 1 The show had only been on a couple of years, and I was like, wow, this is great.

Speaker 1 He was a lot of fun. We had a lot of, we became friends when we were there on the show.
He was the only one that was kind of sort of not really uptight about the game. He was having fun with it.

Speaker 1 These reality shows are pretty nuts.

Speaker 1 I assume you've never been on one of these

Speaker 1 shows.

Speaker 1 I got asked to do it, so I did it. It seemed like a fun thing to do.

Speaker 1 And it was fun to do. But it is sort of like a Stanford prison experiment type of situation.
That's exactly what it is. And it's clearly

Speaker 1 purposely orchestrated like that. It's not unintentionally so.
I mean, they'll put, you know, the celebrities, we'll put them, the celebrity apprentice, it was called, right?

Speaker 1 So they'll put the celebrities in a room, a room kind of like this, but it'll be Dennis Rodman and Herschel Walker and Clint Black and Brian McKnight and Scott Hamilton and myself and a couple other people.

Speaker 1 And then it'll be a day, you know, a television shooting day. Everyone will come in at

Speaker 1 nine in the morning, eight in the morning, and there'll be cameras all around, blocked off with, you know, no camera people in there.

Speaker 1 And then they just basically don't give you anything to do for like way too long-like four hours. So, you'll be able to do that.
And there's like there's a cheese plate and a coffee, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then people just, and there's a competition that has some rules, and there's a bit of a hierarchy that they create within the group because there's a project manager who becomes the leader of that group, and then people disagree with the leader, and they all form these little sort of lord of the flies-type sort of groups.

Speaker 1 And then they film it, and it's pretty hilarious, you know, usually. And I think that's why people enjoy it.

Speaker 1 But being actually in there and being actually, you know, you don't want to be piggy, you know.

Speaker 1 You want to be in the film. It does seem.

Speaker 1 Lord of the Flies, it's so right. It does seem like a lot of reality television in America is about.
pitting people against each other. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 We're a cockfighting, loving nation.

Speaker 1 People who would not normally, perhaps

Speaker 1 be fighting. Exactly.

Speaker 1 They study this.

Speaker 1 I don't know for certain, but I would assume they have studied the science of it. And if they figure out exactly who's in there and

Speaker 1 what would get them mad at each other.

Speaker 1 Do you think they cast it that way also? I think they cast it that way. I think they put a bunch of people in there that would probably be maybe a little bit

Speaker 1 nutty. People like myself and Dennis Rodman and Scott Hamilton.
Everyone knows Scott Hamilton's a bit of a wild.

Speaker 1 You had an alliance with Dennis Rodman.

Speaker 1 Well, so, well, to break down the actual game, because it did get pretty serious there for a bit.

Speaker 1 So in the second episode,

Speaker 1 first episode of my season,

Speaker 1 each episode, someone gets fired. Okay, first episode, Andrew Dice Clay, my good friend, who I'm sure you know very well, got

Speaker 1 fired for

Speaker 1 he was a bit of he was a bit aggressive with Donald Trump when he asked for in the first

Speaker 1 episode,

Speaker 1 Dice kind of was a bit aggressive with Donald Trump because there was not enough butter for the bagels in the green room. And he got angry about it in the boardroom on the show.

Speaker 1 My guess is he actually didn't get angry about it. My guess is he sort of

Speaker 1 he likes to play the character of Andrew Dice Clay. That's a character.
Absolutely. I'm very good friends with Dice, too.
But that's not really him. No, yeah, I know.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And sometimes he just lets the character drive the bus because it's more fun for the character to be mad about the bagels. It was for him to be a reasonable person.
It was hilarious.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was so funny. I mean, and it was kind of probably not what you would really do if you were going to try to win the game, to start complaining immediately.
What do you get if you win?

Speaker 1 I think you win money for a charity of your choice, is what it was. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why even try? Exactly, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, it becomes, it then quickly becomes a point of pride to the people in there about trying to prove that they are smart.

Speaker 1 Who was your charity? Sick kids. It was a cancer, cancer, cancer charity.
You fucked a bunch of kids because you and Dennis Rodman wanted a drink. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 By that point, I knew I was not going to be because I had an alliance against me, you see, Bill, an alliance against me. So my team had sort of turned on me and decided to get me fired.
So I

Speaker 1 basically just

Speaker 1 threw in the towel pretty much and said, okay. Rough few years, bro.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was funny. Fire, divorce,

Speaker 1 by the president of the United States.

Speaker 1 By the president of the United States. Big reviews from Roger Ebert.
This was something was going on in your horoscope. I'm telling you.

Speaker 1 Those were kind of, in hindsight,

Speaker 1 as I look back on it, they

Speaker 1 become kind of funny, those things. Those are some of the funniest things that happened.

Speaker 1 When you think of what, to overuse a term that's overused, privilege, kind of life we live, where what we do is something we basically consider to be fun. So do we work? Yeah, we work.

Speaker 1 But I've also had jobs when I was younger. That was work.
In other words, I fucking hated it. I didn't want to throw triangles of fish product into a VATA grease.
Is that something you did?

Speaker 1 Did you ever work as a short-order cook somewhere or

Speaker 1 fast food? Have you ever done that?

Speaker 1 I worked at Dairy Queen.

Speaker 1 I'm bragging about my...

Speaker 1 Yes, of course. Which one? Where? Which McDonald's? Arthur Treacher's Fish and Chips.
Arthur Treacher's Fish and Chips. In Ithaca Ganeir.

Speaker 1 Arthur Treecher was this old British actor who was Merv Griffin's announcer, like sidekick, like Ed McMahon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that was enough.

Speaker 1 In this day,

Speaker 1 I guess this is the 70s. That was enough for Arthur Treecher to have gotten himself a franchise because he was British.
Yeah, yeah. A franchise of...

Speaker 1 It was like a Kenny Rogers roaster.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 He wasn't that big a star.

Speaker 1 But they had,

Speaker 1 it was a viable

Speaker 1 restaurant. It was a fast food shithole that I worked in.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And so would you deep-fry the fish and fryer? It would

Speaker 1 be your arms.

Speaker 1 You had to wear a uniform with short sleeves. And your arms would have long sleeves.
Because the grease would come up, you'd be burns on your arms. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I know that. I used to cook the ch the chick.
I got fired because I

Speaker 1 miss cooked a chicken burger at Dairy Queen. So these kids who get offended at microaggressions and like they, not that I'm a Marine.

Speaker 1 I mean, people have had way harder lives than me for lots of reasons. Oh, that's definitely not the worst thing that could happen is getting a little chicken grease on your arm.

Speaker 1 It really hurt when that shit got exactly. And then you'd have just all these red marks on your arm.
Yeah, yeah. No, for sure.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying it's. At a time of my life when I was, you know, thinking about asking a girl out,

Speaker 1 it wasn't the greatest thing to approach her with red marks all over my arm. Exactly.
But you had a few bucks, though.

Speaker 1 I didn't. Because you were working.
I went from that to selling pot in six months.

Speaker 1 That was my first time. That was my last one.
More lucrative.

Speaker 1 Way more lucrative and way more fun. Yeah, that's cool.
That's cool. I didn't smoke until I was a sophomore in college.

Speaker 1 But I went from first smoking it to selling it in six months. Yeah.
Because I couldn't afford it otherwise. See,

Speaker 1 I have honestly not, like, I did not,

Speaker 1 when I first ever tried that, I was kind of later, maybe I was in my 20s. And it made me sort of have a panic attack in a way.

Speaker 1 I found very paranoid the first time I ever saw it.

Speaker 1 Well, it can.

Speaker 1 Why does it do that? You asked me before about eating it. Yeah.
That's another reason.

Speaker 1 It makes you kind of paranoid. Well, it's just a more it's more like tripping.

Speaker 1 It's a it's a five, six hour experience, which I'm not up for. Yeah, too much energy required.

Speaker 1 I don't have six hours

Speaker 1 to give to your trip, you know. And

Speaker 1 yeah, you can be almost too high sometimes. It's just, it's just, you can't control it.
And for a control freak, it's just not, it doesn't work. Exactly.
And I've tried to make it work.

Speaker 1 It's a fear of a loss of control, which feels so. What?

Speaker 1 Why does that not always happen, though?

Speaker 1 Why does it happen when people eat that, not when they smoke at them? I mean, everybody's different, you know. I mean, I'm having a beer, by the way.
Would you please do? Do you drink beer, Bill?

Speaker 1 I fucking hate beer. You hate beer, huh? I do.
I really do.

Speaker 1 Why? Why do you hate beer? You just never got into it? It stinks. It's like, it's cheap.
It's cold.

Speaker 1 It's cheap. It's like low-level

Speaker 1 percentage. It's an art form to make beer, you know? I don't know how they do it, but it's I know it's

Speaker 1 German, you know. There's like barley and stuff in there and hot.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All beer tastes different, different kind of. You know, this is a Pacifico, a nice, this is a lager.
Nice.

Speaker 1 I know, I could drink it. It doesn't like make me rich.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the idea of drinking something with only like

Speaker 1 12% alcohol or something. There's not enough alcohol.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, if you're drinking, you're drinking to feel the effect. Whatever it does, like, I always think it kills,

Speaker 1 say,

Speaker 1 5% of my brain cells. Not permanently, perhaps, although I guess they are permanent.
Okay. But at the moment, 5%.

Speaker 1 And for some reason, that makes you in a way smarter sometimes. I mean, many ways stupider, of course.
Drunks do the worst things.

Speaker 1 But, you know, if you could control it, just why do people, you know, have a couple of drinks at dinner? I think it takes down a tension level in people. Absolutely.
And it makes you just more you.

Speaker 1 But a beer with the 12%, it's still kind of a slower kind of tension.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's just a little more, you know, to me, it's almost like a, I'm rehydrating a little bit with a beer.
It's almost like a glass of water sometimes, you know.

Speaker 1 You don't have to think of it like you're just drinking it to

Speaker 1 get drunk or whatever, right? With beer, it's sort of more like just a

Speaker 1 come on, Bill, have a beer. I just have one beer.

Speaker 1 I just saw this great show, I got to say, I'm a big Billy Bob Thornton fan anyway. I mean, even if he'd only ever done Pad Santa, I love him.
He's done a lot of great stuff. And his band is great.

Speaker 1 I've always been a fan.

Speaker 1 I was in an episode of The Trailer Park Boys with Billy Bob Thornton. What's that? Canadian Legends, The Trailer Park Boys.
Do you know them? I don't. They're very funny.

Speaker 1 You have to have the Trailer Park Boys down here on the show. What does that mean? Well, it's a TV show up in Canada.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Trailer Park? Yeah, yeah. It's been a hilarious show.
It's on now? It's been on for a long time, but it's like kind of, of,

Speaker 1 yeah, it's on now too, for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, my earliest years in comedy were when SC TV was on. Right.
And I would

Speaker 1 one of the first, I guess, yeah, the first generation, certainly, of

Speaker 1 something I could tape off TV.

Speaker 1 It was like this big. Right.
And you had to like... And you'd record it on a V, like on a VHS tape? Yes.
Or a beta. A VHS tape.
VHS tape, yeah.

Speaker 1 And you would, just like with the old tape recorder, you would have to push like two buttons at the same time to record, like press and play or something.

Speaker 1 Record and play. Yeah.
So it was on Saturday night, SCTV, and that was always a big night to be out at the clubs. Yeah.
But at the end of that night, I would be like

Speaker 1 drooling in the cab going home. Just to go home and watch that film.
Just to

Speaker 1 rewind and watch SCTV. Yeah.
It was like just on a level that was

Speaker 1 and that so that would have been

Speaker 1 how old were you when you were watching SC TV? Were you

Speaker 1 203? Yeah. You know my first year in comedy.
Yeah. And living in a oh no, I guess I was yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 I'm picturing it in the apartment. I got my main apartment there, which was not a nice place.

Speaker 1 But I didn't have the dots on my arms anymore, so it evened out.

Speaker 1 But yeah, so yeah, 79, 80, around there, 80, 81. I mean, early 20s and,

Speaker 1 you know, just at that part in your life where

Speaker 1 I've never had more anxiety because it was like, you know, am I going to go anywhere in this crazy job I've picked for myself? Right.

Speaker 1 Or,

Speaker 1 you know, and if not, what?

Speaker 1 And could I, can I be happy

Speaker 1 doing anything else? Because I always kind of,

Speaker 1 as a kid, I kind of knew I'm not going to be happy doing anything else.

Speaker 1 That's a lot of pressure on yourself. And so, yeah, I felt that way.
I felt that way at that time. Did you have a backup when you were starting?

Speaker 1 I didn't really have much of a backup plan because, I mean,

Speaker 1 I went to school for broadcasting, so I knew I was going to work. I wanted to do something technically at least.
I guess I could have done. more technical side of the business too.

Speaker 1 I do like camera work and editing and stuff like that. That might have been, but yeah, so it's terrifying.
So you look like a director. Well, you do.

Speaker 1 What does that look like exactly?

Speaker 1 I know you have directed lots of stuff, but I'm just saying you just look like a director. Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 much more than a farmer. Yeah, well, it's,

Speaker 1 yeah. So when you get to interview

Speaker 1 the cast members of SCTV for the first time, How old are you when you first interviewed Martin Short? And what was that like? Well, Martin Short's become a great friend. Sure.

Speaker 1 So when the the first time you met him, though, was it just kind of an incredibly sort of weird experience for him? I'm guessing you haven't seen this. You should look this up on

Speaker 1 wherever you tube.

Speaker 1 But I had a book out last year.

Speaker 1 So I was like,

Speaker 1 in the one-on-one interview section of the show we do after I do a monologue,

Speaker 1 it's very often an author. You know, it's a topic.
It's a single topic. And it could be anyone, it It can be an iconic celebrity.
It can be the governor or whatever.

Speaker 1 But yeah, if somebody has like an amazing book, like Jonathan Haidt has this amazing book that's been on the charts for years, you know, the anxious generation about kids and phones and all that shit.

Speaker 1 But I was like, okay, but now I'm the person with the book.

Speaker 1 Can I have someone interview me and I'm the guest? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, Jiminy Glick did it for me. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, it's like the funniest 10 minutes. I mean, I'm just playing straight, man.
Yeah, absolutely. I'm just, I did do my part well, but that's just because I understand that

Speaker 1 what's going on here. Yeah.
And it's like you had the VHS tape.

Speaker 1 Yes, get out of the way and let the genius do his thing. And just, and of course, just play everything straight as if he's a person who deserves, deserves an answer.

Speaker 1 I mean, his first question was, why go after Harriet Tugman?

Speaker 1 Right. I mean, I was crying.
I had to have a tissue box there for I couldn't, you know, he is.

Speaker 1 Now there is a genius to Martin Short that really he deserves all the accolades he gets.

Speaker 1 And it's probably you relate to that character because you probably would like to be Jiminy Glick sometimes when you're interviewing people, I would think, right? Would that be kind of

Speaker 1 a dream to be able to just sort of one night come out and just say

Speaker 1 well, just because it's silly yeah because it's i mean it's like the the comedy of silly you can't beat it you can't beat getting someone giggling you know do you remember when you saw a talk show for the first time who who was it and uh who was your favorite talk show host from before 1980

Speaker 1 johnny carson johnny carson okay that was my era i mean i was a little

Speaker 1 yeah but other than johnny carson i guess i would say oh we'll talk about johnny carson a second i mean he was so

Speaker 1 you know, the Zeus of the universe that everybody, I mean, look, one of my great friends in life was Alan Thick. Yeah, I knew him.
Came with me and my first. Canadian.

Speaker 1 My first Hawaiian excursion I did for 12 years. I did a thing in Hawaii over New Year's, and he was on that first trip with us.
Loved him.

Speaker 1 He tried.

Speaker 1 And Alan, you know, people never really appreciated what an amazing, dry, sophisticated wit he was because he was known as the sitcom dad. Yeah, yeah.
You know, but that wasn't Alan.

Speaker 1 Alan was like slyly the most hysterical guy. In Canada, he had a talk show.
I believe it was before the one he had in the U.S. too.
So we grew up with Alan Thick on TV

Speaker 1 a lot more even.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you an Alan Thick story that's so funny. He did a show, Thick of the Night, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, yes. Thick.
I have the t-shirt. Yeah, yeah.
He got me the t-shirt. Yeah, he was hilarious.
So I got to interview him a couple of times on

Speaker 1 my web podcast show that I did. Oh, you did? Yeah.
So I got to. Oh, he was a Canadian icon.
The best, yeah. Oh, I loved him.

Speaker 1 So listen to this.

Speaker 1 I remember I'm meeting him one night, and he was newly engaged to Tanya, his third wife. Okay.

Speaker 1 I think she was Miss Columbia. Okay.
Barry Allen. Okay.
A beauty pageant winner. Okay.
You know, but they were like, I mean, it was hysterical because it was like NAFTA, the dry,

Speaker 1 unflavbable Canadian, and then the Sophia Vargara character, you know, and I love Tanya. She's awesome.
Yeah, yeah. But, you know, she's Colombian and fiery.
And

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 it was just hysterical to have them on the trip. But I remember when they got,

Speaker 1 I was, I met them at a restaurant. It was just me.
And I don't know why I was,

Speaker 1 but you know, I loved him. I saw him a lot.
And she's like, you know, she wanted me to notice that she finally got the engagement.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure. You know, and it was, you know, girls do, you know.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So then we were joking about that. Okay, great.
Congratulations. We were talking about at the time his kid was like four years old, three or four years old, Carter.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he was playing hockey with that kid who was then 18 when he died. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So Canadian. Yeah.

Speaker 1 To die playing hockey.

Speaker 1 So you get a special Valhalla salute for that. Yeah.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 So, you know, I'm asking Alan about the kid, and

Speaker 1 he loves Tanya. That's great.
I said, you know, I said, does he understand sex yet? And Alan said,

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 But he knows it has something to do with the diamond.

Speaker 1 with with the he knows it has something to do with the diamond. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, that's funny.

Speaker 1 He was a great guy. He was a great guy.

Speaker 1 Canadians, man. It's tough when the roster is like so impressive.

Speaker 1 I got to know Norm McDonald when he came to my web show, and he's from my hometown of... you know, Ottawa.
He

Speaker 1 grew up blocks away from each other.

Speaker 1 But he was not not at the same time. He was a bit older than me, but I remember I saw him for the first time at Yuck Yuck's when I was a kid.

Speaker 1 I would go down to Yuck Yuck's and he was performing before he was on Saturday Night Live.

Speaker 1 Yuck Yuck's in Ottawa. I would see him in Ottawa.
Where? What city?

Speaker 1 Ottawa. Oh, Ottawa.
The capital. The capital.
That's where I'm from.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Yuck Yuck says, you know, you know Mark Breslin, probably.
Why didn't I get that gig? You know, well, you know, you have to be. Oh, really?

Speaker 1 You have to be from Ottawa, and then you probably. Oh, you really? They didn't have American comics? No, they didn't.
Because we played... I played Montreal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, for sure.

Speaker 1 It was a lot of

Speaker 1 Canadian comics just started at Yuck Yes. I played Winnipeg.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, that's...

Speaker 1 Which one did you play? Have you played in the clubs there? Rumors? I mean, it was 1992. You ever played the Rumors Comedy Club in Winnipeg? Shout out to Rumors Comedy Club.
It's a great comedy club.

Speaker 1 It's been there since the 80s. That's probably what I was playing.
Yeah, I think for sure, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Winnipeg's, did you enjoy your time in Winnipeg or were you just kind of in and out?

Speaker 1 I did.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to tell this story, but I actually had a great time.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 the reason I got there does not

Speaker 1 favor well on Winnipeg, but that's not their fault. I only got there because my house had to be tented.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And I called my agent and I said, Get me a gig fast. Well, we got Winnipeg.

Speaker 1 Okay, whatever. Let's go.
That kind of thing. That's cool.
Exactly. Well,

Speaker 1 I've had a lot of fun in Winnipeg. You know, it's good.
Go Jets, you know, Canadian City. But Canadians.
I don't know if there's really a reason why their team is called the Jets, by the way.

Speaker 1 The hockey team is the Winnipeg Jets, but I don't think there's really a lot of Jets.

Speaker 1 I love Canada.

Speaker 1 I love the people. I have some serious connections with friends

Speaker 1 there.

Speaker 1 And I

Speaker 1 remember moments there that would never happen in America, like

Speaker 1 somebody refusing a tip.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Remember somebody doing that, pushing the money back and saying, you've been generous enough. And I said, you know, in America, you could be arrested for that.

Speaker 1 Refusing money? Yeah, that is,

Speaker 1 boys.

Speaker 1 You've been to every city in Canada, probably, right? I've been, no, but certainly on the tour was always Vancouver. Toronto, you've been to Toronto.
Of course, Toronto. You love Toronto.
Toronto.

Speaker 1 Vancouver, you've been to Vancouver. Yes, Toronto.
Have you been to Ottawa? The capital. No, no, no.
I'm saying I'm never going to play Ottawa. You haven't been to Ottawa.

Speaker 1 You've got to come to Ottawa. Got to come to Ottawa.
Well, I'm not doing it anymore.

Speaker 1 You're not going to be able to do it. Yeah, I just stopped.

Speaker 1 I did hear you say that, but I wasn't sure if I believed it or not. But you got 100% stopped or just slowing? Well, you can still go and do a couple shows a year if you want.

Speaker 1 You know what? I really feel you can't because

Speaker 1 you have to be in practice to do stand-up, at least the way I want to do it. Because you would feel

Speaker 1 every time you got up, you'd think that you're not going to be able to get it.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've kept

Speaker 1 for 42 years, I've had an act. Like there was my life on TV.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then there was my act. Now there was stuff that bled between them.
It was very good. I would.
How often are you...

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know if people like to talk about, hear about writing and sand upsets, but how often do you try to

Speaker 1 slide that material out? Or do you keep some jokes for years? I never try. I never try.
Yeah. But I mean, well, now I don't even have to worry about it because I'm not doing it.
But for years.

Speaker 1 But hypothetically, you were still doing that. There was things.
There was,

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say there aren't things that

Speaker 1 were written for real time that didn't wind up in my act. There are.

Speaker 1 But mostly I wrote that myself.

Speaker 1 It was just too, stand-up is just much more personal personal than like doing a monologue each week, which is really just about the events of that week. It's very impermanent.

Speaker 1 Stand-up back, I just did a special. I mean, like that'll, they can watch that for years.
Not everything will like.

Speaker 1 It takes a lot out of you just having to exude that kind of

Speaker 1 emotional energy live every

Speaker 1 weekend. Yeah, I like that part.

Speaker 1 Is there the anticipation of it? Is there anxiety that you get before the show? The travel, just exhaustion. Yeah, it's exhausting, yes.

Speaker 1 You know, when I said I wasn't going to do it at the end of last, like the beginning of last year, we didn't book anything for this year.

Speaker 1 All year,

Speaker 1 I kept thinking, oh, my God, I'm not going to be doing this after this. You know, there's eight more gigs, there's six more gigs, there's four more gigs.
It's not a legal contract.

Speaker 1 I mean, you can always change your mind at any time. And that's why I never made an announcement.

Speaker 1 You decide next year. I think I will do it again.

Speaker 1 But I was like really wondering, when it comes to it next year am i really going to be okay with this and you know what happened i was i was right like

Speaker 1 maybe maybe another year you might i just i just don't get the itch for it you know a couple of weekends ago would have normally been as it has been for so many years the weekend when i first went out back on the road the third weekend in january the holidays are over okay people go to a show again i was so glad i didn't have to drag my ass out of bed on a Saturday and go to Cincinnati.

Speaker 1 Not that I don't love Cincinnati or whatever it was. I just wanted to be home.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's it. You know, it just, it's not that I couldn't.
I'm not crippled in any way, people. I mean, it's not like...
Well, it's, it's, it's, I just don't fucking feel like it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Have you ever, did you ever take a break before for a year or two? Never. Never.
Yeah, exactly. So that's why it feels weird, but it doesn't mean you can't take a break.

Speaker 1 Just because you've never done it before, it doesn't mean you can't take a break.

Speaker 1 It could just be a break maybe you're just taking a break there's other things to do yeah but maybe it's just a break maybe it could be a five-year break yeah but you don't have i mean i don't think you should set it in stone i don't want to see you quit doing stand-up just because you decided to well five but there

Speaker 1 stand-up is just a medium yeah it's a medium for ideas yeah that's what this is in its own weird way absolutely and there there are there are people who will

Speaker 1 watch us do this yeah who wouldn't watch us do anything else and i get that

Speaker 1 i am not that but i get that because there are it's just like there are people who want to hear a jam band instead of something polished yeah absolutely and that's personal taste and i get it and i'm fine

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 i want both i want i want to have a jam band and i also want to make abbey road every week on real time right and that's what that's i was because i was actually about to ask you why you built a television studio in your, in your basement here.

Speaker 1 I mean, I just, I'm. There's the answer.
That's the answer. Yeah, it's fun.
This is kind of like, you can just kind of. But it's still, I didn't change anything in this room.

Speaker 1 This room was always so cool. I mean, it was a mess when I got it.

Speaker 1 And I think Drew is the person who built that tiki bar.

Speaker 1 It looks, that thing that looks like you're in Mexico. Okay.
Yep, yep.

Speaker 1 I was told, I don't know how I know that. Yeah, I think that's true, actually.
I think it is true. It's beautiful.
I still love it. Yeah.
As a place to like.

Speaker 1 That was, I think she built that before I knew her. Well, I'm going to have a party this summer and invite both of you.

Speaker 1 It's the time you reconnected. Oh, wait.
You're married. Yeah, absolutely.
In fact, well, you know, I was going to say, relating to stand-up, you know what I've been doing since the pandemic?

Speaker 1 How do you describe the,

Speaker 1 when you say since, do you say since COVID or since the pandemic? You know,

Speaker 1 either one. Either one.
When the pandemic happened, that's when I kind of

Speaker 1 moved, right? I moved back to to Canada oh that was the impetus yeah it was yeah okay

Speaker 1 and and it was kind of like because that I was doing I'm touring all the time and my tour was canceled for the whole year and I was sitting there going okay I didn't have a TV show to go to every day so I'm sitting around my house going like what the heck am I going to freaking do this week right and so I got this camper van I got my dog Charlie I started going out into the deserts out here and filming some stuff for just for basically just because I wanted to go check out the desert but filming some stuff for social media And then I decided to move back to sold my house, move back to Canada.

Speaker 1 Sure. Thank you very much.
What did you do with that other one I gave you? I smoked it. No, here it is right here.
There it is. There you go.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Trade you.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a conversation I would have had at 19. Yeah.
What'd you do with that one? I other

Speaker 1 one. Exactly.

Speaker 1 It's exactly that. Oh, no, I didn't smoke it.
It's exactly what it was. But I got this camper van, and so now I'm touring.
You have that?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I don't smoke. I don't smoke a lot, Tom.
I'm touring with my...

Speaker 1 I'm now driving on my touring, more is what I'm getting at. I haven't been going to the airport and flying.

Speaker 1 Instead, I've been doing these. So I drove here from Canada in a camper van.
Oh, right now. What? Yeah, so I left Canada.
That's so Tom Greener. In my camper van with my fiancé and my dog.

Speaker 1 And we drove and we did gigs all the way down.

Speaker 1 You were having a lot of fun, though. To be able to be together all day long in a camper.
It's going well. I mean, it's...
No, I'm not doubting it or wishing it. She's still still here.
She's here.

Speaker 1 No, I get it. She didn't go.
She didn't leave yet.

Speaker 1 She didn't fly home.

Speaker 1 What is it that makes that you think allows one person to be like so

Speaker 1 easy on your

Speaker 1 just vibe that

Speaker 1 you can be around them all the time? Because a lot of I feel like you know, success in a relationship is that. Can you just be around somebody and feel almost

Speaker 1 as calm as you do when you're alone.

Speaker 1 You don't fart.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do. Not that comfortable.
I try not to fart.

Speaker 1 No, not that comfortable. Are we agreed?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, I'm not going to say what I'm guilty of in the terms of farting too much, department, but I don't try to fart a lot, if that's what we're talking about here, Bill.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, the only fart that ever should happen in your

Speaker 1 mutual space,

Speaker 1 I believe, is an inadvertent fart.

Speaker 1 Okay. The way you're like, yes, of course.

Speaker 1 I hear on meet the best. But I'm trying to think whether I agree with that.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, well, you can't help it. It's like a nocturnal.

Speaker 1 But this isn't really, honestly, this isn't really the first thing I want to talk about when talking about my new engagement.

Speaker 1 Well, Beyonce,

Speaker 1 she's amazing, and that's why we're having a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 She puts up with the absurdity of this idea of traveling around in a camper. But we are staying in hotels.

Speaker 1 When we're not.

Speaker 1 She loves it. No, we're having a lot of fun.
Yeah, we're having a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 Are you funny all the time?

Speaker 1 I get kind of, I'm pretty tired right now now that you mention it. You mentioned me.
Because I drove here in a camper bed.

Speaker 1 I slept in the Mojave Desert. I appreciate it so much.
Four nights ago. I really appreciate it.
It's beautiful out there. Putting out like.
Have you ever slept out in the Mojave Desert? Fuck no.

Speaker 1 It is so beautiful out there.

Speaker 1 I'm sure it is. But there's also.
Seeing the sunset coming up over the mountains in the Mojave Desert with

Speaker 1 making some coffee.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 You drink coffee? I do, but not in the middle of nothing in the morning. Well, what's not,

Speaker 1 why does that sound bad?

Speaker 1 It's not nothing. There's beautiful

Speaker 1 cactuses and wildlife. You know what it is? It's flora and fauna.
We're at different stages of life. Not that I wouldn't do it at 53 either.
Right, right, nothing. But especially at.

Speaker 1 It's just not your thing. You're just not a camping.

Speaker 1 No, I know. I want a comfortable bath.
Have you ever been camping? I want a comfortable bathroom. Have you ever gone camping? A comfortable bathroom.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I think after a comfortable bathroom, you get the. It's just like.
Have you ever slept in a tent? No. Wow, really? That's amazing.
Never sleep. I'm not sleeping.
I'm sleeping in a camper van.

Speaker 1 It's scary to sleep in a tent.

Speaker 1 Animals can tear through that tent. I did not sleep in a tent, but I once slept

Speaker 1 in a hammock. Okay.
For like you'll never guess where.

Speaker 1 On Frankie Valley's tour bus.

Speaker 1 You're right. I would have never guessed that.

Speaker 1 I am right, aren't I? Would have never guessed that, no. That's right.
That's amazing. So,

Speaker 1 was that just kind of, was he a friend of yours?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I was opening for him. Yeah, that's cool.
And what year would that have been? That would have been 1982. And what venues would you be performing that are still around today?

Speaker 1 Are you familiar with Wolf Trap in Washington, D.C.? Okay, no, I don't know that. No, Wolf Trap is very famous.
Okay, cool, cool. A lawn, you know, seating, and then a lawn.
It's a big summer.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice, nice. Unless you're playing like stadiums.
Yeah, yeah. Everybody will, nobody turns their nose up at Wolf Trap in the summer.
That's cool. You know, James Taylor with Jackson Brown.

Speaker 1 Right, right, right. Wolf Trapper.

Speaker 1 So that was one.

Speaker 1 Sort of like a Hollywood Bowl kind of

Speaker 1 like a bravatas to it, but you're outside. It's like camping, but you're not.
You're watching a show. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jimmy. It's sort of like camping.
You feel like you did something in the nature. Right.

Speaker 1 Blanket. Yeah.
Yeah. Blanket may involve.
But you've never really, really, never gone camping.

Speaker 1 Anyways,

Speaker 1 it's fun because you get into nature and you really kind of ensconce yourself in that. It's a very calming, a relaxing thing.

Speaker 1 I think nature is a great town. Yeah.
I love nature. I do.
I live amid nature. I feel like

Speaker 1 that's one reason I don't need to do that is because I feel like I see a lot of greenery and stuff that isn't urban every day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you burned your house down.

Speaker 1 It always is going to come back to that.

Speaker 1 No, I did not do it, Bilbo. For the record.
Nobody did it. I'm joking for the record.
You know, it was a fire. I knew you were joking.
I just wanted to put it on the record that I can't do it.

Speaker 1 Just in case there's no confusion.

Speaker 1 I'm very glad we were doing it. Some people might people.

Speaker 1 No, they didn't. I know there was no reason for them to think that, but some people seem to be confused and think the wrong thing.
That's why I make sure I did not burn the house down.

Speaker 1 Well, there's just too many people in America with time on their hands, and they also have access to the internet. So if they can just start some shit

Speaker 1 for no reason because they just, it entered their mind, they will do it.

Speaker 1 So is it more fun doing television when you have the internet as well as a factor, or is it more fun doing television when there was no internet?

Speaker 1 Because you seem like you're having a lot of fun with the internet. So I would expect that you would say that,

Speaker 1 you know, but I'd expect you would say that it was probably, this is more fun to have this kind of,

Speaker 1 but then you also have to deal with the complexity of all that kind of

Speaker 1 just energy on the internet that we're talking about. Well, you asked me about I don't know how long we've been here

Speaker 1 six hours or maybe twenty minutes. Yeah, it could be the one.
But at some point you asked me about something that is frustrating, which is you said, what about when they take like clips?

Speaker 1 Right, exactly.

Speaker 1 Because you lose control over, you know,

Speaker 1 it's amazing when you are somebody who's in the middle like me. and not in the middle like in a Nambi-Pambi way, and it's just like, yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm a proud old school liberal, but no, I'm not going to go along on the crazy train to Nonsenseville.

Speaker 1 So when you're in there,

Speaker 1 what were you talking about? It was so important to me. Yeah, well, I was just saying, yeah, you know what?

Speaker 1 What were we talking about, Bill?

Speaker 1 Oh, good.

Speaker 1 Now we're both too fucking high to remember what the conversation was about. No, but you.

Speaker 1 I knew exactly what we were talking about until you questioned it, and then it made me sort of second-guess myself. And now my mind's gone blank.
What the hell were we just talking about, Bill?

Speaker 1 I don't know, but

Speaker 1 if this is what Alzarmors is like, it's not that bad.

Speaker 1 I think they're making a bigger deal out of it. Sitting around in these extremely soft chairs, by the way.
I don't feel like it's. I got a beer.
You know, this is incredible.

Speaker 1 What we were talking about, okay, is before the internet. Yes.
Doing the same thing. We were talking about clips and how they just.
I know what we were talking about.

Speaker 1 Just pretended we didn't discuss it. Good to you.
Good to see you. But of course, I actually want to know the answer, too.

Speaker 1 I want to give you the answer. Yeah.
Because it is very frustrating that when you're in the middle, that's what I was saying. And

Speaker 1 over the course of an hour of real time,

Speaker 1 you can take

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 three or four great clips for you on Fox News and show them where I'm calling the left out on their bullshit or occasionally saying, yeah, you know,

Speaker 1 this is not the stupidest idea I ever heard of.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 you can do the same thing on the

Speaker 1 left-wing stations. You can,

Speaker 1 if you want to, if you want to make me look good to your audience, you can show all the times I'm excoriating Donald Trump and calling out that administration and then that list of things I hate.

Speaker 1 Or if you hate me

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 liberal media, just show the ones where I'm saying the things that the Fox News crowds are saying. That's what I'm saying.
So I can't, like, watch the whole show.

Speaker 1 You lose control of the narrative because the romance goes out. And people just want to hear what they already believe fed back to them.

Speaker 1 So if you already believe on the left that I'm some sort of red-pilled person who's now become a conservative, you can be fed things where all you see me doing is saying, yeah, I don't hate this.

Speaker 1 Let's get rid of the penny or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 And then you can do it. You can manipulate.
And they do, because that's what feeds their kitty. They want those same eyeballs coming back to them.

Speaker 1 So, you know, it's a lonely place in the middle. It can be a lonely place.

Speaker 1 Fuck them. I don't care.
I've got my middle people. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So. Before the internet, you didn't have to...
But there were still people who would write about the show.

Speaker 1 Well, they got my first show canceled yeah exactly so there was still this sort of different kind of yeah yeah but then it was energy pushback yeah but this is a little bit i was canceled when it was like literal

Speaker 1 we're actually canceled

Speaker 1 we're using that word yes right to make sure you're not have you been credited with being coining that term

Speaker 1 no you don't want to you don't want to be credited with that no and and also i mean the the things like people had been fired those were crazy times it was 9-11 right 9-11.

Speaker 1 it was crazy times And, you know, that's, that was, was that the beginning of this sort of new kind of crazy that we're seeing in our, in our politics?

Speaker 1 I mean, that was, okay, so I moved in here January of 2001,

Speaker 1 which is actually the, you know, 2000 is still, I think, technically the last century. I think the first year of the 21st century.
So we're, we're literally days into the 21st century. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which is a little could be something if you were the kind of person who believed in spooky stuff. Okay.

Speaker 1 So I move in here January, and you're already here, and then the house burns down, and then 9-11.

Speaker 1 I'm wondering, maybe it's you, Tom.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Is that a crazy theory? I mean, it's a heavy thing to blame me with, for sure. It's like a lot to, it's a lot for me to consider.

Speaker 1 You know, it's crazy, though.

Speaker 1 Was that the beginning of

Speaker 1 this sort of things weren't as political before that?

Speaker 1 I mean, it seems weird to say, obviously, things have been political forever, but doesn't mean that.

Speaker 1 Has there not been sort of a reprieve on this kind of

Speaker 1 divisive politics or something for 10 years?

Speaker 1 It literally goes back to. I don't remember it being that crazy.
I know, but Reagan, Reagan, when Reagan. It goes through periods.
I mean, the period when you were a formative youth. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're right. It was, they were always at each other's throats, but there was a civility to it.
And also they both played by the rules. That's exactly what I was asking.

Speaker 1 I mean, in 2000, Al Gore

Speaker 1 lost or didn't. There was a lot of shenanigans.
They talked about shenanigans with Trump in 2020. There was no shenanigans

Speaker 1 in 2020. No shenanigans.

Speaker 1 I could quote all the people who were involved, the Election Commission, many of his own appointees. It was one one of the smoothest, fairest, most, they had their eyes on it for good reason.

Speaker 1 They were hanging Chads.

Speaker 1 That was 2000. Right.

Speaker 1 That was Gore. Hanging Chads.

Speaker 1 The Secretary of State

Speaker 1 was a Republican in the state of Florida. The governor was Jeb Bush.
Okay. The guy's brother.
Right. Well, that's where the Chads were being counted.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Whatever it was. You know what?

Speaker 1 The truth is, Al Gore

Speaker 1 and Bush, they played to a tie.

Speaker 1 And then it was like, okay, the Republicans had the Supreme Court and that was it. And Al Gore said, yeah, you know what? I got robbed, but for the good of the team,

Speaker 1 that's gone with Trump.

Speaker 1 And that's why the people who think, you know, oh, Bill, you know, you're so clear-eyed about the problems on the left. Yeah, I am, but I'm not coming over to your side.

Speaker 1 That's so much worse that you guys will not acknowledge when you lose an election. That That is a non-negotiable with me.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 we can't talk about it.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's the essence of the country.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 So I'm moving to Canada is what I'm saying. By the way.
We'd love to have you, Bill. My girl, Christia Freeland, and I say my girl like I'm really close and I'm not, but.

Speaker 1 You should move to Canada, by the way.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 She used to be on real-time. Okay.
And now she's going to be the prime minister. Okay.
I'm a big fan. Okay.
She was always great on the show.

Speaker 1 Who is it, though? Christopher Freeland. Oh, Christopher Freeland.
Oh, yes, right. I didn't hear you talking about Christopher Fleet.
She's been on real time. She's great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, well, she was the minister.

Speaker 1 She was a minister. I forget what department, but she was very important

Speaker 1 in the Trudeau government. Yeah, please true.
And then quit and said she basically didn't believe in him anymore. And that come up and campaign on her.

Speaker 1 That to me is the woke versus liberal debate in Canada, the one I'm having here.

Speaker 1 And I'm her. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm her. Do you think she could be the next? She could be next.
I hope so.

Speaker 1 I think she's smart. Trudeau resigned.
Savvy.

Speaker 1 But she's still not been on election.

Speaker 1 So they're going to

Speaker 1 call an election soon. And there's going to be a leadership race on the Liberal Party.

Speaker 1 Christy Friedland is running for leader of the Liberal Party.

Speaker 1 There's also Mark

Speaker 1 Carney as well as another.

Speaker 1 You parliamentarians. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I am not personally one, but

Speaker 1 your country. I used to go up there.

Speaker 1 I used to go up to the parliament buildings all the time, though, when I was a kid in Ottawa. I used to go down there and just play soccer on the front lawn of the parliament buildings.

Speaker 1 Are you kidding?

Speaker 1 No, I actually did do that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 I was doing a college radio show.

Speaker 1 downtown Ottawa, and I would say at the end of the show on midnight till two in the morning, every Friday night, night, I'd say, anyone want to come meet me on the front lawn of the parliament buildings, bring a soccer ball and some pizza, and we'll go play soccer out there till four in the morning.

Speaker 1 Then we go and we play soccer on the not to cut you off that story, but it is. No, no, no, but it's so

Speaker 1 the fun things I love to do in Ottawa. That's why I, you know, when you talk about

Speaker 1 the Canadian government and

Speaker 1 Trudeau and all the elections and all the stuff that's going on out there, I also think of it sometimes just in like real personal terms. I basically grew up in Ottawa.

Speaker 1 So I think when you say parliament, for instance, I think about how beautiful our parliament buildings are. Have you seen our parliament buildings? Have you ever gone? Have you seen them before, Bill?

Speaker 1 Quite beautiful buildings, by the way.

Speaker 1 I wanted to start that way. Yeah.
When I got to Cornell,

Speaker 1 what you're describing, I wanted to

Speaker 1 get on the college radio and be the college funny prankster. I thought that was going to be my first entree.
Yep, yep, yep. And it was the easiest way to get

Speaker 1 into broadcasting, though, through radio, right? No, I mean, did you do radio for a while?

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, this is very evocative for me to hear you talk about it because when I went off to Cornell, I had already wanted to be a comedian for 10 years.

Speaker 1 I just kept it inside.

Speaker 1 So now I'm away from home. I really wanted to be in New York, like hanging out at the clubs, but I got to go to college first.

Speaker 1 And I thought, yeah, that's it. And I remember practicing, like in my room.

Speaker 1 like to be say things like pre you know pre-ad libs right that I could say. Just announce it.

Speaker 1 And I never even got the nerve to go audition. Really? Yeah.
I wanted to do radio, but

Speaker 1 I was a shy person.

Speaker 1 I was very, very shy as a teenager, a kid as a teenager, into college. So at what moment do you get up on stage then? At what age? How does that decision get made?

Speaker 1 The first time I ever got on stage was in high school. I MC'd the talent show

Speaker 1 and it was so exhilarating to get laughs right that I was hooked like a drug like a drug I've never had since.

Speaker 1 And the next time I got up on stage was at Cornell. They had poetry readings

Speaker 1 on like Thursday, Thursday afternoon in the Temple of Zeus coffee shop. And I got up there when people are doing poems.
Wow. And I tried to do like material.
Stand-up, sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, it was like a top ten listener. They must have loved that.

Speaker 1 I mean, well, it's got to be better than poetry, you know. It was like something like that.
I mean, I like poetry.

Speaker 1 I'd rather see someone attempt stand-up than someone sincerely pull off poetry, to be honest with you. It's fun even watching stand-up when it fails, really, sometimes.

Speaker 1 But in that environment in college, you must have been good. So did you do that regularly then? Or was that?

Speaker 1 Well, then I mean, all the time I was in college, I was like, sort of like, why am I here learning about Homer when I should be like in New York? Study philosophy? Telling Joe.

Speaker 1 I studied all the liberal arts stuff.

Speaker 1 I got an English major degree, but history, English, classics. I loved mine.
The education they gave me at Cornell, I cannot front. Awesome.
And I am a different person because of it.

Speaker 1 One who can survive in a cocktail party with anybody.

Speaker 1 Not dominate, but survive

Speaker 1 and not be laughed out of the room. Right.
With any group of, except astrophysicists, not science, but anybody. They don't party anyway.
But so I give. Astrophysicists, they don't really ever go out.

Speaker 1 Well, I think Neil deGrasse Tyson gets down. Okay, okay.
I know. Yeah, I guess you know more than I do.
You've probably

Speaker 1 met more astrophysicists than me, so I wouldn't really know. I was just speaking off of a hunch, basically.

Speaker 1 He's just a fun guy. Yeah, yeah.
You know, not only when you see him on

Speaker 1 my show or any show, but like I've been with him at Seth McFarlane's parties. And, you know, he's just a great

Speaker 1 guy to hang with. And you don't always, you know, he doesn't always want to talk about astrophysics.

Speaker 1 You know, he would like actually a break from that, I think.

Speaker 1 With people.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because do people come up and ask him sort of technical questions that they really need answered about?

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 like seeing Rocky and wanting to punch him in the jaw. Right, right.
Right.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 1 I don't want to talk about the wormholes or the string theory anymore. That's it.
Who else are you going to throw that question to?

Speaker 1 I see an asteroid is heading toward Earth.

Speaker 1 The astronauts? I said I see an asteroid is heading to Earth. Asteroid, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, no, 2032. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's also, I thought you were talking about the astronauts that are stuck up there. You know, that are.
No, I just think it's a great conversation. Yeah, it's a breaker there.

Speaker 1 Absolutely nice. I see an asteroid.
The entire planet is going to be destroyed in 10 years. What are you planning on doing about this? That's a good question.
Seven years, actually, Tom.

Speaker 1 I was never really good at math, but yeah,

Speaker 1 2032. Okay.
I'm torn between

Speaker 1 trying to survive and kissing my ass goodbye.

Speaker 1 Saying making an extra effort to survive seven years so you can see the asteroid, or would you rather just

Speaker 1 not have to witness if it's going to hit and wipe out all life on Earth? I want it to hit me right in the head. Right, right.
Please make it a directory.

Speaker 1 I want to be part of the cleanup committee. Yeah.
Yeah. Now, how do you, why do you think they're so exasperated by this?

Speaker 1 Because I assume it it's the same reason why the dinosaurs were wiped out because it's not the asteroid itself that's going to dent the earth so bad it's that it creates a yeah the whole atmosphere is full of dust and the sun is bluffed out and that comes frigid winter and we all freeze to death that except for those few

Speaker 1 hardy enough ones who dug little shelters for themselves and lived off freeze-dried noodles for the next

Speaker 1 generation.

Speaker 1 How do you think it would have been? Do you want to be part of that group that

Speaker 1 ate freeze-dried noodles underground for a generation to try to repopulate the earth, or would you rather have a direct hit? You say direct hit.

Speaker 1 Well, when you put it that way, you get to continue. You could probably open up a little

Speaker 1 comedy club in there or something like that. Keep everybody entertained.

Speaker 1 Repopulate the earth eventually because of you, because of you keeping everybody. Underground comedy.
There'd be stuff to do.

Speaker 1 Literally underground comedy. There'd be stuff to do.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So when you built the studio here,

Speaker 1 this has got to have been a lot of fun, right?

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, it's funny. It hasn't changed at all.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm not talking about the structure. Just when you put the cameras in and started doing the show here, that must have been a lot of fun, right? I mean,

Speaker 1 are you... What's fun is that I wouldn't be here with you without it.

Speaker 1 Which is a shame because I'm having such a great time. Yeah, yeah.
I always liked you.

Speaker 1 I mean, I i was disappointed we never got to be friendlier when you were the neighbor um i always thought you were just an innovator and

Speaker 1 you know

Speaker 1 so that's what's great about a podcast is that you it's like you can summons people now they don't have to answer the summons yeah but it's like

Speaker 1 i would like to talk to you so i i had built a studio in my house that in

Speaker 1 now 2005 i was had a lot of people over and did a lot of interviews.

Speaker 1 And I got to make so many good friends. I got to know Norm McDonald, I mentioned, who I was, you know, idolized growing up.
But then I got to know him and become friends with him. But

Speaker 1 that's a great thing about doing this. It's fun.
So

Speaker 1 you've got a studio here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we have to, I mean, you know, look,

Speaker 1 I'm trying to make it the least likely. the least like a studio.
Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, there has to be cameras and and people operating them somewhere, I assume. I don't get involved with the details.
So other than Johnny Carson,

Speaker 1 before 1980,

Speaker 1 who was your favorite person? Well, I'll tell you who else was. Including David Letterman.
David Letterman

Speaker 1 didn't come along until 1982. That's why I say before.

Speaker 1 It was

Speaker 1 all of the others. Merv Griffin, Jack Parr.
I mean, the people you know. Well, Jack Parr was before my time.
Did you like Jack Parr? I bet you you liked Jack Parr.

Speaker 1 As I say, before my time. But I mean, have you gone back and looked at his all I know about Jack Parr? No, I really haven't.
All I know about Jack Parr

Speaker 1 is that my parents spoke well of him. Yeah.
Yeah. But my parents are sophisticated.
So that I can he was a bit of a shit disturber too, though. Yes, he was.
He quit on the air. Yes.

Speaker 1 And then he came back a week later and went back on the air and said some funny line like

Speaker 1 I said, there's got to be a because when he quit, he said, there's got to be a better way to make a living than this. And he quit on NBC Live, walked off.

Speaker 1 And then he went away to africa and then he came back and he

Speaker 1 the show was still a hit he got the they gave him the show again after he quit he came back live on nbc and he said

Speaker 1 i uh went uh and had a look and uh when i left i said there was got to be a better way to make a living than this i went and had a look and it turns out there isn't you know and then he continued the show for like another i don't know how many years few years not too much longer but and i mean and then it was amazing

Speaker 1 after that it's amazing that he had to have that revelation oh no it was johnny carson after jack parr right Steve Allen, Jack Parr, Johnny Carson. Correct.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jack Parr, I know, was 57 to 62. So he was a toddler.

Speaker 1 Incredible interviews, though, with Jack Parr. He interviewed Kennedy.
I mean, again, Muhammad Ali and all these great people that were. Well, first of all, the country was so different.

Speaker 1 The people were... Johnny Carson also used to do an author every night.
An author? Yeah. Can you imagine

Speaker 1 an author? The show was, was the show 90 Minutes that went on? Yes. It was 90 minutes at the beginning.

Speaker 1 Every night, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The country was different. And so the talk show hosts reflected that.

Speaker 1 Johnny Carsten himself, as great as he was, wouldn't survive today. Too slow.

Speaker 1 Attention spans are different.

Speaker 1 People's just with the phone and the pace of things and the depth of understanding.

Speaker 1 No, you can't do the show he did. And that was just into the early 90s.

Speaker 1 You know, then Jay Leno was the right guy for the right time. Yeah.
It's always been very controversial, the whole hierarchy in talk television.

Speaker 1 It is interesting.

Speaker 1 It is sort of like a

Speaker 1 royal family position in the country. That's

Speaker 1 the talk show

Speaker 1 person who... Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 it's a reflection of where I think,

Speaker 1 well, it was where the middle was i mean johnny and letterman and leno they were in the middle yep now talk shows are just all of them are to very far left

Speaker 1 not to say i wouldn't agree with them on most of those issues yeah but

Speaker 1 they do not attempt to please anybody except the people who are already voting for Kamala Harris. If you're not voting for her, you are not going to feel welcome watching this.

Speaker 1 You're not going to feel welcome watching Saturday Night Live. Exactly.
Yeah. And it seems like it's become kind of the priority is to talk about that subject, to talk politics.

Speaker 1 It used to be a one joke about Reagan or something, and then we move on.

Speaker 1 So the whole monologue is about politics. It's all about the sort of social issues.
Oh, well, not as much.

Speaker 1 That is, yes. I mean, and Leno and Carson, and Letterman did jokes about what was going on politically also, but they found a way to do it in a way that wasn't obvious where their feelings were.

Speaker 1 And there was plenty to be made, as there always is on both sides.

Speaker 1 But that's not where we are now.

Speaker 1 Why is that?

Speaker 1 Why isn't there not a more

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 is it because it's just

Speaker 1 social media has divided things so much that you have to pick a side firmly? Is that what it is? Or because

Speaker 1 the internet made that happen? Because the shows have their internet They get all these comments coming in.

Speaker 1 Oh, we better

Speaker 1 use these comments.

Speaker 1 Well, it starts with Fox News. Okay.
That's the beginning of the problem.

Speaker 1 There was no such thing as Fox News, like a right-wing media. Every media organization tried to be down the middle.
That's why Leno and Letterman and Carson tried to be... Being a non-biased

Speaker 1 server. But

Speaker 1 you're not saying to one half of the country, we don't even bother. I mean, twice when Trump won, Saturday Night Live did not do an opening sketch.
They had a fucking dirge.

Speaker 1 Now, they just had their big 50th anniversary. Look, Lauren Michaels, I don't know him.
Never worked for him. Canadian.
But

Speaker 1 yeah, Canadian, yes.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 anytime you mention a Canadian, I'm going to say they're Canadian, just so you know.

Speaker 1 And he's the biggest Canadian. Yeah.
Because literally nobody even comes close to the effect this guy has had on comedy for a half a century.

Speaker 1 I mean it would be easier to name the movie the comedy movie stars who weren't

Speaker 1 coming through the Sunday Life Factory. I mean not to mention the several late-night franchises.
Just the stamp. on the industry

Speaker 1 is just enormous. But to have a dirge,

Speaker 1 okay, so I'm reading this article about him, and

Speaker 1 he says, I said to the cast, and maybe this is in the early days, you know, we're playing to all 50 states. Well, you're not anymore.

Speaker 1 Or at least not all people in 50 states. Trump wins.
Like, I didn't vote for him either. But I wouldn't do a fucking funeral, like, where the cast is there somberly.
Oh, we're here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's still America. Yeah.
You're fine. Most people will be fine.
Yes, there's a lot of shit I don't like. I've got a whole hate list.
But this is how America voted. America.

Speaker 1 I thought you loved democracy, but you can't do a sketch. You can't be funny.
You have to tell us how in mourning you are.

Speaker 1 That shit leaves me cold. Do you feel it's too partisan? for sure.

Speaker 1 Is that what you got out of that story?

Speaker 1 You have to be.

Speaker 1 They won the election,

Speaker 1 and you're a comedy show, and the left is so far from perfect.

Speaker 1 So the idea that we have to have a fictional... It was always sort of politics in SNL, but now more so than ever.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was Gerald Ford fell down a flight of stairs. Yeah, but that's not what's political about that.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 So, yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 why is that, though? Why has everything gotten so political?

Speaker 1 I guess I think it began with Fox News. Right, exactly.
And then I think they politicized news gatherings. It was not the internet.
It was cable TV. I think that's the beginning.

Speaker 1 When the beginning of the revolution happened because he competed for viewers, he had to split the audience.

Speaker 1 Right. Well, first of all, they felt that those three channels, and Walter Cronkite's on at night,

Speaker 1 they can be non-biased or to be central.

Speaker 1 And then when the cable came in,

Speaker 1 now Fox News would say.

Speaker 1 CBS never went right wing and NBC went left-wing back in 1953 to be against against each other. That's exactly what I'm getting to.

Speaker 1 Fox News would say, not without some merit,

Speaker 1 that it was necessary to have a right-wing media organization because the majority of the media had gone so far left and was in the pocket of the left. Now, there is some truth to that.

Speaker 1 It got crazy worse, but this is not how it was then. But just as an example, there was a whistleblower at NPR last year a guy who worked there i think his name was uri berliner okay

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 he just didn't like the fact that you were squelched if you tried to present anything other than the super super duper far woke left point of view on npr right so it comes out that of the 87

Speaker 1 top managers at npr

Speaker 1 the number who voted democratic was 87.

Speaker 1 Right. Okay.
Now, even if you're a Democrat, that's not a good thing. No, no.
That's when you have, that's incest, that's intellectual incest, and you know what incest produces.

Speaker 1 Well, it's

Speaker 1 is it just because the

Speaker 1 is it regional? I mean, you travel around the country, so you know, it's is that what it is? Just because most television has always come out of New York and Los Angeles, I guess, right?

Speaker 1 So this is what happened. Well, yeah, I mean, the media definitely has

Speaker 1 an enormous effect on

Speaker 1 how the country's mores change,

Speaker 1 often for good.

Speaker 1 Gay marriage would never have happened if Americans didn't see gay people in sitcoms

Speaker 1 acting like regular people. Right.

Speaker 1 Not horrible people. Sure, sure.
And people you love.

Speaker 1 And TV nor, and that was a great thing.

Speaker 1 that happened after cable too you'd say with that well that happened when was will and grace on yeah at kiss oh cable when tv expanded there was yeah so yes but it was a network show yeah network show yeah um

Speaker 1 and i'm sure there were other shows and you know i mean

Speaker 1 when i was a child

Speaker 1 it was a scandal because at the end of a duet in the late 60s harry belafonte a black man like planted i think a little kiss on the cheek of a white girl and like lost all the southern affiliates.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. And then at some point, Tom Cruise kissed Thandie Newton in a mainstream movie.
William Shatner. 1990.
Star Trek.

Speaker 1 Kissed Green Chicks. Canadian, by the way.
Yeah. And has sat there in that chair twice.
It must be fun to hang out with Shatner. I love him.
Yeah. I love him.

Speaker 1 You know, he was my first landlord in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to say first lover. No, this is this.

Speaker 1 Not what I said at all. I know, but it's

Speaker 1 a good guy.

Speaker 1 But why can't we just go with it?

Speaker 1 It's a better story.

Speaker 1 When I came to MTV, I rented a house and

Speaker 1 he owned the house and rented me.

Speaker 1 He'd come over and say hi once in a while. Great.
A lot of fun. Yeah.
Great guy. Must be fun to sit to talk to.
I've never gotten to interview him. I've gotten to interview people, though.

Speaker 1 I've done quite a few interviews over the years. I enjoy it.
I enjoy

Speaker 1 you and you. Well, I couldn't help but notice you fall naturally into that role.
You're doing more interviewing than I am. I'm sitting here stoned.
You're the guy who's like, and I love it.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm more than happy to go either way. But you have this natural inclination.
It's great. It's like

Speaker 1 a curiosity. Yeah.
Well, it's not a nice opportunity to get to interview. I've got to get to interview.
I have interviewed a lot of people, though, before because I've done. Oh, I know.

Speaker 1 You know, like that's something that I've... kind of enjoyed the really enjoyed kind of trying to uh not just doing it because i am

Speaker 1 like meeting people and like getting to know people, but it's also,

Speaker 1 yeah, it's been fun. It's been fun.
Like, so what I mean, I built a TV studio in my living room in 2005, right? That's so you to put it in the living room.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, you know, it's my house wasn't as big as this, so

Speaker 1 I had a couple of rooms. One of them was the living room.

Speaker 1 That was the room, the only room that was big enough to put a couple cameras in. I get it.

Speaker 1 But no, it was, it was fun. It was fun.
And, you know, it's like

Speaker 1 there is sort of a

Speaker 1 something about being able to have a. So when you have guests now to do this in your home where you live now.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm not really doing a podcast right now where I'm interviewing people, so I'm just kind of not doing that.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I may build a podcast studio in my barn, though. I have a barn.

Speaker 1 Do you have a barn? I do not have a barn, if you mean someplace where I keep hay and

Speaker 1 yes, but they're not horses. No.
Dogs or? Yes, dogs. How many dogs do you have? Two from

Speaker 1 as of six o'clock, but they're very old. Oh, okay, yeah.
How old are they? What kind of dogs are they?

Speaker 1 I mean, one of them's got to be a thousand. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've had him since 2010, and he wasn't a puppy then. Is he a big dog? Like, what kind of dog? No, no.
He's a... Do you know what kind of dog?

Speaker 1 That's him as Kid Rock. Oh, like a Chihuahua kind of dog? Yeah, he looks like a Chihuahua.
He's not. A little, it's a little.
He's a half. Chico, trash dog.
Chico, yeah. Nice.
Chico.

Speaker 1 hello chico yeah are they both chihuahuas or no no or small dogs no and then chula is uh um chula is half german shepherd uh half pit bull you've never guessed it looks like it looks like a german shepherd but not as big yeah um good guard dogs that let you know when there's something going on

Speaker 1 they're they're a thousand years old one of this but chula's blind

Speaker 1 You know, it takes a million years just to get up. Have you had them since they were puppies?

Speaker 1 Well, again, Chico,

Speaker 1 I'm guessing guessing was about two when I had them. They've had them for most of their lives.

Speaker 1 So they weren't always

Speaker 1 when they were younger. Were they good guard dogs? No, were they good guard dogs? Did they bark? No.
No, but they've always been kind of just a chill dog. That's my fault because I don't train dogs.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, I always say it's kind of nice when they don't bark at everything that goes by, actually. Oh, no, he barks at things that don't go by.

Speaker 1 I mean, Chico just stands in the middle of the draw. The reason why he's alive,

Speaker 1 unlike the other one who never moves, because she's blind, I can't blame her, but is because chico takes his job very seriously as a guard dog so if he stands in the middle of the driveway at night and just barks at nothing he just preemptively wants to tell everybody don't with me i'm chico i'm here i'm in the middle of this driveway i've got one eye and i can bite and i will bite right he'll bite me you know she's doing that because she's trying to protect you because

Speaker 1 she loves you chico takes loves you and wants to make sure that you are safe no no chico takes his job very seriously, and that's what keeps him young. Yeah.
Or he's not young. It keeps him alive.

Speaker 1 I don't know how he's still alive.

Speaker 1 But I'm glad he is. I mean, the last time you saw Chico.

Speaker 1 Was right before I came over here. So still alive, I would say.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I mean, I worry about them like that because,

Speaker 1 you know, I've buried right

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 maybe 25 feet that way from this building, up that hill, is my dog graveyard.

Speaker 1 And there's five graves there. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 You know, and I personally dug all of them because I found it to be a very cathartic experience to dig the grave yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I did one in a howling rainstorm.

Speaker 1 It was so therapeutic. Do you? With the tears.
rolling down my cheeks mixing with the rain. Yeah.
Well, it's, it's,

Speaker 1 it is heavy. I'd like to thank the Academy.
No.

Speaker 1 No, but it's because you, you know, you're, it, it is

Speaker 1 one of the worst things you have to do, right? I mean,

Speaker 1 animals are

Speaker 1 family, right? These are family. You know, I had to put, I had two huskies for 15 years.
I went through that. It's a horrible thing, right? But

Speaker 1 you have to kind of

Speaker 1 move on. And they had great lives, I'm sure.
You know,

Speaker 1 they all live, you know.

Speaker 1 You appreciate this from

Speaker 1 apropos to our discussion there about people in the middle and all that shit. But I quoted this lady I read,

Speaker 1 a story in the free press last year. And she had lived in New York with her husband, exactly what you would think of as like a left-wing liberal couple in Brooklyn.
Okay. Not bad people.

Speaker 1 Again, I would probably agree with them on most issues. They decide to move up to the country, just like you did.
But this is upstate New York. Sure.
The Poconos.

Speaker 1 That's Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah, right, right.
No, so what I'm thinking of, the...

Speaker 1 It's closer to where I went to college at Cornell. Okay, yeah.
Ithaca, New York. Yeah, yeah.
Ithaca, New York is like outside of Cornell. Yeah.
You'd think you were in Alabama. Yeah, no, I don't.

Speaker 1 I mean, shacks

Speaker 1 and like meth,

Speaker 1 that kind of stuff. Okay.
Like as soon as you get out of New York. There's a lot of shacks in meth in Alabama.

Speaker 1 You said you'd think it was like Alabama. I've only been in shacks in meth.
I'm just like, well, there probably is a lot of shacks in meth in Alabama. I think,

Speaker 1 I'm not saying this in a put-down way. No, no, no.
All of you want to clarify. Appalachia.
Yeah, sure. Appalachia, which stretches over, I think.
seven or eight states. I'm sure there's meth in crack.

Speaker 1 I think there's definitely meth. If I can believe what I saw.

Speaker 1 If you're going to bet on a place to have it, that would be the place probably. Did you ever see Wintersbone?

Speaker 1 Really great movie. Jennifer Lawrence's first movie before she was known.
Okay, cool. And it's about life in, you know, West Virginia,

Speaker 1 Appalachia, and meth, and everybody.

Speaker 1 It does not have a false note. And I say that as someone who would not know what a false note was in a movie about West Virginia, because I don't know about that area, but it just seems very true.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so

Speaker 1 why were we talking about that?

Speaker 1 Why were we talking about that? Yeah, why do we get on to like meth in West Virginia?

Speaker 1 Well, we were talking about... Something important.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, let's talk about... We don't have to talk about meth anymore.
I don't think we really need to talk about meth.

Speaker 1 Well, that's one drug I...

Speaker 1 Have you done meth? Have you taken meth? I've never taken meth for the record. I've never

Speaker 1 partaken in the meth. You have actually Cornell.

Speaker 1 Cornell was... It was a different time.
You were,

Speaker 1 it was sort of all these drugs were kind of new experimental. It was the Beatles were

Speaker 1 the Beatles, right?

Speaker 1 They started all that. Well, the Beatles had split the ball.
They got the ball rolling and all that, though. They mainstreamed.
Now, this is mid-70s.

Speaker 1 The Beatles and John Lennon hadn't even appeared in... like three years.
No, no, but they got the ball rolling on that. And now

Speaker 1 it's Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin. What What was music? Zeppelin was huge in the 70s, yeah.
And what were you were you listening to Zeppelin? I was listening to Zeppelin, Jackson Brown. Okay.

Speaker 1 Those were my two big ones, big go-tos. Do you listen on a record on vinyl? You had a record player in your place? Yeah, we were still into vinyl, sure.

Speaker 1 Or tapes. Yeah, tapes, right? Tapes.

Speaker 1 I was all tapes, pretty much. Vinyl had just disappeared, basically, when I was a kid, so it was

Speaker 1 cassette tapes was pretty much my era, which was

Speaker 1 seemed like it wasn't as cool as vinyl, but now at this time, you know, I would love to be in a cassette tape world right now, listening to music on cassette tape or vinyl.

Speaker 1 You know, it's a, well, I don't, I don't love having to listen to music on this digital stuff, but it's, it's great to have access to the music, but it was nice to just be able to put in that album, push-play, listen to the whole album.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't miss that at all. You really don't? No, I have my vinyl collection, though.
Yeah. And kids see it and they just flip.
Do you listen to your vinyl a lot? No, never.

Speaker 1 You never listen to it. Why, whatever?

Speaker 1 Do you have a record player? No. You know what I mean? That's probably why you don't.
You got to get a good record player. I use the iPod.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
I don't want to bore people.

Speaker 1 I always talk about my love of the iPod.

Speaker 1 There are advantages to the iPod that I insist. Oh, the actual original iPod? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, not your phone.

Speaker 1 You have the actual device still? With the circle. They still make that?

Speaker 1 You can get them on eBay. You just have a vintage one.
I have five of them. Wow, and you love it.

Speaker 1 There are advantages to it. Yeah, I agree with you.
I promise you. I agree with that for sure.
I don't have one, but I remember having them because it's nice because all the music's there.

Speaker 1 It doesn't disappear. There's no ads popping up.

Speaker 1 It's your music. You feel like you own it.
Thank you. And also.
Right? Yeah. I don't think if you're on...
A streaming service, I think not every artist is licensed to every service.

Speaker 1 So I don't think you can have every song you actually want.

Speaker 1 I mean, can I get all 4,000 songs on one service? I know what I can't do is edit the beginning or end of a song, which I can do on an iPod because it's on your computer.

Speaker 1 And all you got to do is go to options.

Speaker 1 And many songs need the beginning or end clipped. Really?

Speaker 1 You're not a fan of some

Speaker 1 over.

Speaker 1 long intros and the 70s rock stuff. You just want to get right to the guitar solo or right to the first verse.
There's big intros in some of those old Led Zeppelin songs.

Speaker 1 People's phone machine messages on some of those songs. Right, right, right.
There's people talking to a live audience for two minutes and telling the same story I want to hear a million times.

Speaker 1 Do you actually do that? There's applause at the end. Or yes, sometimes musicians do make mistakes and they just put 30 or 40 seconds of some sort of ambient bullshit.

Speaker 1 They're supposed to set up the song, but it doesn't. So this is a pet peeve of yours, and therefore you've gone on.

Speaker 1 You've edited a lot of your songs for a while. It will become yeah, well, it's not a pet peeve.

Speaker 1 A pet peeve, a pet peeve would be. It irritates you enough that you've actually done something about it.

Speaker 1 Like you sit down on a computer and edit the front out of a bunch of songs so you don't listen to them ever again.

Speaker 1 To listen to the beginning or end. Yeah, yeah, because you just want to get to the meat of it.

Speaker 1 You're making it sound worse than it is. I'm telling you, I'm getting rid of stuff that is bullshit.

Speaker 1 And you're pretty much. I'm just fucking around.

Speaker 1 I know. It would be funny to picture you actually.
But I'm not going to to let you get away with it. Okay, okay.
The pretending that what I'm taking off is because I'm just sort of some sort of nut

Speaker 1 who's only like a hook junkie. Just give me the middle 30 seconds of that song where they go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah. No, no, no.
I'm cutting off actual bullshit. Right.

Speaker 1 I'm cutting off the fat off

Speaker 1 this steak. I'm not saying.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying it's

Speaker 1 a nutty thing to do. I'm just saying it's like it's a little more.

Speaker 1 Most people would just not do anything about it.

Speaker 1 That is true. Yeah, and that's why I'm not most people.
Yeah, it's not crazy. It's just a little bit more than the average person would do.

Speaker 1 They wouldn't go and cut the song and cut a little file and only carry a vintage iPod because

Speaker 1 that's the only thing that allows them to do that. They just listen to a different song without the intro they don't like or whatever.

Speaker 1 It takes 30 seconds. Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
That's why I like that. The sound quality is better, too, I think, than through the internet.
The sound quality is actually better.

Speaker 1 Also, I know

Speaker 1 more

Speaker 1 resolution or whatever the of all,

Speaker 1 maybe you can do this

Speaker 1 on a playlist in Spotify or Pandora, whatever the fuck. Maybe you can do this, so just don't write me letters if you can.
But with the iPod, you put it on shuffle.

Speaker 1 No, with the iPod, you can mark also songs as

Speaker 1 skip when shuffling.

Speaker 1 So in other words, of my 4,200 songs. Right, right, you won't get this.
I don't want to hear Christmas music on shuffle. And there's other stuff I have in there, you know, yoga music.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I marked all those. Or even particular songs in general.
There are some songs. I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't want just like upbeat songs, ballads. No, lots of, but like comedy record, no, that's not going to come up on shuffle.
Yeah. You know? You're listening to the music.
It's music.

Speaker 1 Some of it might be slow, some of it might be strong. I love putting it on shuffle.
Frank Sinatra comes up and then Tupac. So this is on your iPod and then it's plugged into your speakers?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You plug it in the car when you get the car? Do you plug it in the car? I have one. You can get it in the car, yeah.
So it's an iPod. Not the old iPod in the car, but you can get this music of your...

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
That's cool. Yeah, it is.
Music is a very important thing, like to actually listen to music and enjoy music.

Speaker 1 So important.

Speaker 1 And now this is, you're going to say is not rational and probably isn't. But I also believe that my iPod on shuffle does speak to me.

Speaker 1 Like there are messages that come through with the songs that it's picking on shuffle. I mean, it's just, there's too many times, and it's been a- This is a bit nutty, but not sure.

Speaker 1 Even for you.

Speaker 1 So you really do think there's sort of a like you

Speaker 1 some synchronistic sort of

Speaker 1 songs will come on that are just it just doesn't make any sense that that would play right now. Is it possible like a lot of songs have themes of emotion and it sort of reappear throughout us.

Speaker 1 I've thought of that.

Speaker 1 Because a lot of songs are not. That's exactly the right answer to what I'm feeling.

Speaker 1 That a certain day and a sad song comes on and oh, you know,

Speaker 1 if it was just that simple. But it's more specific than that.
It's so specific. Like it really is.
Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 1 Like I'll be thinking about a song for a certain reason and then it'll play the first thing up on the shuffle. I mean, it's, it's, it's.

Speaker 1 I believe in that. I feel like the Chinese are involved somehow.
With TikTok, maybe it's TikTok's algorithm. Saying that they're.
No.

Speaker 1 There is. So you

Speaker 1 consider yourself a spiritual person?

Speaker 1 Not up until that minute. But I don't.
No. So, in fact, I'm not even sure what it means.
I believe in some form of energy coming from the iPod, though. Some sort of.

Speaker 1 Maybe that could be God.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. It does rhyme.
Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, I'm just reporting. I'm not making any judgments or conclusions.
I'm just saying

Speaker 1 the iPod shuffle does speak to me.

Speaker 1 It just suggests things through the music that it could not possibly have known.

Speaker 1 We didn't arrange anything. I've never met this magician before.

Speaker 1 It just does it. It just does it.

Speaker 1 And I'm not saying this is a reason why they shouldn't

Speaker 1 make it so that I can't use my iPod. But I do worry about Apple someday just making it so it just doesn't exist at all.

Speaker 1 Because you have to, what I like about it is you can edit all this stuff on your computer. We have a vintage visual.
But then you have to put the iPod in the dock to transfer from the computer.

Speaker 1 I mean, they could cut that off.

Speaker 1 They could change the format that music's recorded on.

Speaker 1 Or the MP3s still?

Speaker 1 No, I don't know what it is, but I mean, I can't do it. All the songs are in a certain

Speaker 1 file. At some point, I did have to get a super-duper computer expert to

Speaker 1 undo something Apple had changed. With the iPod.
So your iPod wasn't working for a second? It would not. Wow.
Yeah, it would not re-in, you know. Yeah, sure, sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's, it's, I'm, I'm, because I'm, it's, I miss owning the music in a tangible way, right? Where it just doesn't, right. You sort of have this organized set of music.

Speaker 1 Whether this is, you know, you could just get a record player and get back to listening to your music, but they can't take that

Speaker 1 stuff.

Speaker 1 I like the fact that I have the music I have and they can't change it because you see, they do change songs because, you know, woke Canadian assholes, for example, are the type of people who don't believe in free speech, like they don't anymore in Germany or England.

Speaker 1 And so, like, they will change songs. I saw.
We have freedom of speech in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, you got to fight for it.
You can say whatever we want up there.

Speaker 1 Okay. I hope so.
Yeah, we we do.

Speaker 1 I think it's a little overblown.

Speaker 1 There was

Speaker 1 something about sharing news on

Speaker 1 it. But England has arrested people for opinions on the internet.
I'm not down with that.

Speaker 1 I think there's been some misinformation about me getting all Canadian right now, but there's been some misinformation about Canadian freedom of speech, though, that's been floating around up there.

Speaker 1 Like, we've got freedom of speech in Canada. It's in our

Speaker 1 Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. We have freedom of the press, freedom of speech.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, just because something's in a charter, I mean, we have it too, and Trump is threatening that, and sometimes the Latin American is threatening that.

Speaker 1 I've never experienced a situation where I can't say something up there.

Speaker 1 There are hate speech laws in Canada, so there are things you can't say. But you know what? Who would want to say that shit anyways, right? Well,

Speaker 1 that's not what free speech means. Right.

Speaker 1 It's a slight, but it's

Speaker 1 a clearly defined definition of what hate speech is. So it's not overreaching, you know? it's fairly specific.
That's

Speaker 1 why you can pretty much say anything you want except for extreme things that you would not agree with, I would think, and that nobody would really want to agree with

Speaker 1 civilized society. You don't know what free speech is, then.
You don't know. It's not what free speech is.
It's a definition of not free speech. Okay.
Like what everybody thinks.

Speaker 1 Not everybody thinks the same. The Supreme Court ruled in our country

Speaker 1 that the Nazis

Speaker 1 could march in Skokie, Illinois,

Speaker 1 which they were marching in because it is a community of a lot of Holocaust survivors, many of whom were still alive at the time.

Speaker 1 And the Supreme Court said,

Speaker 1 as abhorrent as that is, that is what free speech is about. Anybody can defend the speech that we all like,

Speaker 1 but sometimes it changes what people like. And you just don't want to be limited that way.

Speaker 1 Now, if you are literally inciting violence or kiddie porn or something like that, Yes, there are things, and they're already illegal.

Speaker 1 But it gets very dangerous in my view. There was a lot of talk about banning TikTok in America, though.
That's almost like a clamping down of the... Well, that was different.
That was...

Speaker 1 They didn't ban it, but I mean, they were

Speaker 1 scared. Actually, they passed a law to ban it, and Trump, who's king now, just said, I'm undoing that.

Speaker 1 I mean, this was

Speaker 1 the first time.

Speaker 1 I think it probably was favorable to TikTok. It was favorable to Donald Trump in the election.

Speaker 1 So why would you want to to cancel that well you know what your old boss is so good at he's so good at picking

Speaker 1 picking off little constituencies

Speaker 1 like he got it oh tick tock kids love tick tock what do i care i'll say tick tock's legal now he he picks up he rfk

Speaker 1 he's like you know i don't know in this guy's a nut but you know what he's got a constituency which he does like people who want to make america healthy again rfk combines like people from the left and people from the right people libertarian types from the right and super healthy moms from the left

Speaker 1 who don't want who want to have raw goat milk and don't want their kids to have unnecessary vaccines he so Trump's like oh I'll pick off him I mean he's

Speaker 1 he's he's gonna um

Speaker 1 pardon this guy who was running a internet website. He's in jail that was like,

Speaker 1 you know, all the nastiest shit.

Speaker 1 Okay. And he trumps like,

Speaker 1 well,

Speaker 1 no, it doesn't hurt me if I, and he'll get like a million, because this guy's got like a million faithful followers. Sure.
Millions. He's genius at doing that.

Speaker 1 Like picking off these little constituency where it doesn't hurt him. And it travels through the internet.

Speaker 1 He at the speed of light more than other things. He pardons rappers.

Speaker 1 It's like. Kodak Black, he pardoned.
Yeah. So like

Speaker 1 black guys who you like Kodak Black? He's pretty. I'm not sure I could name one of his songs, but I like his music.
He's pretty popular. I do not know his music, and that's all on me.
Why?

Speaker 1 Is he really great?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I listened to it a bit. I like it.
I don't know. I'm not super aware of everything.

Speaker 1 What do you listen to when you're out on the tractor?

Speaker 1 I listen to a lot of music that I

Speaker 1 was going to ask you that too, but I did ask you that. But if I go to Psych, I listen to Joy Division.

Speaker 1 Joy Division. New Order.

Speaker 1 I listen to Johnny Cash.

Speaker 1 Johnny Cash. I know him.
Yeah. Yeah.
I listened to

Speaker 1 Neil Young. I listen to.
Neil Young, Canadian. Yeah, absolutely.
There is a town

Speaker 1 in North Ontario. Absolutely.
I live in North Ontario. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 It hits close to home when you hear some Neil Young talking about Ontario. It's like Tom Petty singing about Ventura Boulevard.
You know, it's holster. Oh, I get it.
It tugs on the.

Speaker 1 That's why I sang it. Yeah, absolutely.
No, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I listen to...

Speaker 1 No, let me think about what else I listen to.

Speaker 1 Because when I was in high when I was younger, I listened to a lot of rap music, but I don't really listen to it as m even the music I listened to growing up, it doesn't,

Speaker 1 you know, I don't feel like listening to,

Speaker 1 I won't say name the particular bands, but it just I don't feel like listening to rap music that much as an adult. I want to listen to something more like

Speaker 1 calming, something that's going to calm me down, you know, like a But when you get done with this RV trip that you're on. Yeah, it's sort of, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 it's not an ongoing thing. We're just, I'm heading back up to Canada touring.
You guys stay put for a while? Yeah, I'm still, I'm touring, doing stand-ups. I'll be going out and doing shows and

Speaker 1 working on it. What do you, what do you, when you're on the road? Like, so how many do you do like a bunch in a row?

Speaker 1 On this particular trip, it's been driving. So it was one nighter.
So it was in Chattanooga, Nashville.

Speaker 1 And you drive to like a band?

Speaker 1 I was on this trip. I did, you know, over the last 20 years, I usually flew out.
But when COVID happened, I kind of got this van. I started enjoying driving around because,

Speaker 1 you know, rather than going to a comedy club for a weekend and doing four shows, it's more like, oh, I'll just do one-nighters across as I go. And then

Speaker 1 not have to go to the airport, not have to go through all that. And what do you do after this show?

Speaker 1 Well, right now I'm traveling with my fiancé, so we're having a great time. We go, you know, get dinner and do what a man and his fiancé after a show.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know what you thought this program was, Mr. Green, but it's a family

Speaker 1 family show, and we don't like anything. Not to mention that, other than that, you know, we go get dinner and go visit the city.

Speaker 1 And we have a few days off here and there. So we, well, like, right now, like, we're not actually doing any shows until I'm in Colorado in a couple of weeks.
So I'm here in Los Angeles for a week.

Speaker 1 You know, here's something. I left Los Angeles and had not come back for

Speaker 1 three and a half, almost four years until three days ago. So I lived here for 18 years.
I lived here for 20 years. Really?

Speaker 1 When COVID happened, I sold my house when COVID happened that I'd owned for 18 years. There's nothing that brought you here.

Speaker 1 Well, I came here to see you. No, I mean, in all that time.
No, there's nothing. Well,

Speaker 1 I wasn't trying to purposely avoid it, but I just kind of...

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was sort of there was no real reason to come other than I have friends here that I missed, but I talk to them all the time on the phone and stuff and FaceTime and stuff. So

Speaker 1 I was kind of excited about setting up this farm, but this is actually the first time I've been back. So it's kind of interesting.
And this is on Netflix. Prime.
Amazon Prime.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's on Prime.
And the show. You know, they didn't tell me to watch it, but I'm anxious to see it.
Yeah, it's fine. I should have seen it already.
I'm sorry. It's okay.

Speaker 1 I just wasn't told, but

Speaker 1 it's on Amazon called. I don't think we would have talked about a lot of the things we talked about tonight if you had watched it.
So I think it worked out for the best.

Speaker 1 That was Larry King's thing always. Like he would do very little prep, and he'd be like, hey, I want to be the guy who wants to know.

Speaker 1 If I know, why am I asking? You know, I was Larry's guest host. Sorry, you say Love Her again, and I would disappointed.
Not Lover Again, I'm sorry. God damn it.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I guest hosted his final show that he was doing there. Did you ever do a show in Burbank in that church? million times

Speaker 1 oh in Burbank yeah when he was doing it on aura TV oh Russian TV no well he had a show on Russian TV which is politicking and then he had a talk show on Aura TV I feel like you got to know when to get off the stage yeah I mean Larry had a great run and I loved him yeah but I thought you were talking about us right now

Speaker 1 but no because we got real gigs but but like you know Russian TV

Speaker 1 they're gonna get I'm not gonna I'm not gonna hang on on Russian TV. No, and I'm not going on that one of those celebrities, you know, go in the jungle.
Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 yeah, or a business competition with

Speaker 1 all right.

Speaker 1 Uh, let's wrap it up. Yeah, I could build all my so much fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, welcome back to the homestead. Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you for the weed whacker, and I uh, yeah, I'll get you to what it's okay. Thank you.

Speaker 1 That was so much fun. Thank you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 An honor. An honor and a pleasure.
Thank you, Bill.