Club Shay Shay - G Herbo Part 1

Hey, it's Bobby from the Bobby Bone Show.

I had an incredible time at this year's iHeartRadio Music Festival and even got the chance to hang out with Diplo and Bailey Zimmerman while I was there.

How did Ashes come together, Diplo?

I pulled up real quick.

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It was really cool.

He literally just like randomly showed up to my house.

I'm like, oh, hey, Diplo, what are you doing?

He's like, I have a song that I want to show you.

And I was like, okay.

You can listen to the full episode out now wherever you get your podcast.

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At a blast, cruising around the festival weekend in the all-new Palisade Hybrid.

This is Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast.

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Marriage in the future.

Mean.

I can't wait to marry my girl.

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All my life, been grinding

Hello, welcome to another episode of Club Shea Shay.

I am your host, Shannon Sharp.

I'm also the proprietor of Club Shay Shay.

Stopping by for conversation on a drink today is an undeniable and influential talent, one of the most popular artists from the Wendy City.

He's this generation's premier voice for the voiceless, a top-tier MC, a platinum-selling rapper, a songwriter with vivid storytelling ability, a respected community leader and philanthropist, a pioneer for the mental health in the hip-hop.

He's admired as one of the most beloved family members in rap.

A loving father, aka Little Herb.

Here he is, G Herbo.

What's up, man?

What's up, bro?

Appreciate you, man.

I appreciate you, man.

Man, you got a birthday coming up.

I got an album coming up.

Man, let's toast up this old shade, see what you think about this here.

I couldn't wait.

I couldn't wait to get some of this shit.

I want your honest opinion now, because I give me your honest opinion.

Smooth, I need a bottle.

Say no more.

I need a bottle.

Say it no more.

This album, Lil Herb.

Who's Lil Herb?

Lil Herb is

a kid from the east side of Chicago, one of the most poverty-struck and dangerous neighborhoods in Chicago, who

just had a dream, man, a dream of, you know, rapping and making it out, but was

knee-deep in the midst of the fire, you feel real.

Like, like growing up over there and starting to do music at 15, 16 years old, and then picking up and making a name for myself and still being in the streets and being shot at 16 and seeing a lot of my homies pass away.

Like Lil' Hurd was just a kid with a dream.

And you know what I'm saying?

Fast forward, me being G.

Herbo is like, I had to kind of like tap back into my old self and find that hunger for real.

So that's why I really like, I'm on the Lil' Hurd wave right now.

What's some of your fondest memories, your childhood memories?

What's some of your fondest memories of you growing up on the east side of Chicago?

Going to play basketball at Eckersau Park, playing basketball at South Shore Park, playing basketball at Woodhall Park, where it's like, I'm from,

I grew up all over the east side, you know what I'm saying?

Like, it's not a lot of people that could really say they had memories more so in other areas other than they blocked the little two-block radius they grew up on.

That's all you could see outside.

You couldn't see outside of anything other than that.

Yeah, no, for sure.

But the east side is pretty big, and I got memories like all over because I got my aunts like lived in different parts of the neighborhood.

I actually went to school in a neighborhood that wasn't where I lived at.

You know what I'm saying?

So it's like I had friends over there and I had friends in my neighborhood where I live.

So my fondest memories are just being able to walk 12 blocks to go play basketball.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like I definitely look back and think, and a lot of those people who I shared those memories with not here no more.

Yeah.

Outside of rap, did you dream of anything else other than rap?

Or that was that, you know, my brother used to tell us, tells me all the time, he said, a dream is a gift that we give to ourselves.

I never heard that.

So outside of rap, you said, you know, you started 15, 16.

Outside when you were growing up, say you're 9, 10, 11, 12, what did you hear from you?

I wanted to play basketball.

You wanted to hoop?

Yeah, I wanted to go D1 and go to the League.

Everybody, like, and I wasn't like when I was young, I didn't really get good at basketball until I got like eighth grade, ninth grade.

Okay, like, I just had a dream.

I wanted to do it because it was the cool thing to do.

Right.

My big cousins and big brother and all them played basketball, and they was good, you know, and I just wanted to like follow after them for real.

And I really, like,

I used to like believe that I could do it for real you know what I'm saying like so you could really hoop yeah I'm nice I could hoop for sure right sure for sure like but my dreams just got cut short so early right 15 16 out freshman sophomore in high school I got shot got kicked off the team stuff like that you feel I'm saying so it's like I just leaned towards rap but I never wanted to be anything other than the basketball player and the rapper Did you play any other sports?

Did you try football?

I never tried football, man.

I just fell in love with basketball and just only played basketball.

I wasn't athletic at all.

I'm not going to lie to you.

So, who would you compare your basketball game to?

You LeBron, you Steph Curry, you KD, you Jordan?

You gonna laugh at this for real, for real?

You know who they used to compare me to?

Who?

Van Exel.

Nick and Knight?

Yeah.

Nick Lee Redquick.

I don't know about that.

Nick the Quick.

Yeah.

My manager used to say

I used to play like Van Exel because I could, like, I used to be able to like just.

You lefty?

Yeah, I'm left handed.

Oh, okay.

Get to whatever spot.

Because Nicky Quick, I was indifferent when he got there.

He was nice with the.

He could dance with it, Nice.

I was nice in my

primest.

I was like.

So, obviously, if you're from Chicago, you know D.

Rose.

Yeah, for sure.

D.

Rose, people say, man, D.

Rose.

is probably bigger in Chicago than George.

I've said that before.

You said that?

Out of my own mouth, I said that.

That was you.

I said that.

Man, you need to get a board here.

I don't know.

You must have been drinking.

Were you drinking when you said that?

Let me give you my opinion on why I said that.

Okay, give me your opinion.

I'm not going to like, Jordan is the biggest of the biggest.

I'm not going to say that, but it's like

coming from Chicago.

D.

Rose homegrown.

You know, he's homegrown.

It's like, we seen it.

Like, I used to watch him play when he went to Beasley.

I knew who Derrick Rose was.

You know what I'm saying?

From Beasley to Simeon.

You feel me?

That's why I felt like it just made it like any kid from Chicago, they dreamed like you could do it.

We really watched D.

Rose do it and become one of the greatest point guards to ever play in the NBA.

Youngest MVP.

That's the youngest MVP.

He just gave us so much hope in Chicago.

You feel what I'm saying?

And then you got to think about it.

I was born in 95, so I ain't really get to see Jordan play.

So highlights.

I seen Derek Rose in real time.

Yeah, you're right about that.

So that's what I meant by that.

Let me clarify.

Yeah, because people were like, but hold on, bro.

How you going to say D.

Rose?

But I get what you're saying because you're talking about a guy from Chicago, poverty, born craved and shit.

grew up poor bro and became one of the biggest to ever play the game you feel in my opinion

what is D-Rose trajectory if he doesn't get hurt if he doesn't hurt that knee and we saw him become the youngest MVP in NBA history so his trajectory was like

Now hey, he's a phenomenal player, but I still think we were robbed of him at his absolute prime.

Absolutely.

We definitely got robbed of Derrick Rose.

You know what I'm saying?

It's like, that's why we so passionate about it because we know what it would have been if he didn't hurt himself.

Like, you can't tell me that Derrick Rose wouldn't have left the NBA without no rings, you feel what I'm saying, before he hurt himself, you know, because he was just so good.

They would have, especially what the NBA is now and what it was, what it was becoming, like, they would have built a team around him, he would have had a dynasty around him, for real, for real.

Like,

every, you can't tell nobody in Chicago that Derrick Rose is not top three-point guard ever.

Right.

Still, you feel what I'm saying?

Like, and that's, that's how I feel about him, like, for sure.

What is it about hoopers and athletes who want to be rappers?

Rappers want to be

hoopers and football players.

What is the combination?

What is the common thread?

What is the fabric that ties these together?

I think it's just like the cool it factor.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like, the lifestyle that rappers, that artists live is like...

is glamorized.

It's looked upon as like fun.

And athletes really like their life is discipline, structure, gym, workouts and stuff.

You know,

the athlete that go to the club and party, like a artist, he gets criticized the most, you know what I'm saying?

But at the end of the day, I feel like they just want to have that kind of fun because they really got more money than us.

You know what I'm saying?

They got more money than us, but we having more fun.

Right.

So it's like, I feel like that's the whole like thing that tied to each other.

And you got to think about like just the motivation and inspiration that we we give them with our music and our art.

You know what I'm saying?

Them working out in the gym, listening to it, and get them in a mode.

Like, it's certain songs that you listen to.

Like, I'm going to go score 40 tonight.

Right.

You know what I'm saying?

I think that's really like the bridge in between it.

And a lot of artists, like myself, we had hoop dreams or football dreams before we did it.

So it's like, we look up to them too because they are what we wanted to be, but it ain't work out.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, rap was our plan B.

You feel me?

They plan A work.

If I gave you a choice, say, you know what?

You could have went to the NBA or you be the rapper, would you trade your career, your rap career to be in the NBA?

No, no.

Well, damn, what you?

I wouldn't.

Because I feel like early on I thought that's what I was like destined to do.

But I really feel like I'm living in my purpose now, like with all the people that I influence and what my music is.

It's not really just like rap for me.

The greatest feeling that I get from this is when people tell me, like, you changed my life, bro.

Wow.

You got me through this situation.

Like, my brother passed, my grandmother, my dad passed.

And like, if it wasn't for your music, I don't even know what I would be or what I would be doing.

And

don't get me wrong.

You could influence those kind of people through, you know, sports and stuff like that.

But I just feel like I was really meant to be who I am right now.

Right.

All right.

Hoop rappers.

You,

J.

Cole, Savage, Drake.

Yeah.

Dave East, Breezy.

Now, it's reported that you beat Drake and Savage.

Yeah.

Yeah, we did.

No, you know, Drake.

Hold on.

Drake, like, I've seen V, I haven't seen it with my own eyes, but I watched him in the videos.

And Drake got game.

Drake to shoot the net off that motherfucker for sure.

And you beat you.

Yeah, yeah.

You beat Savage too.

You played a five-on-five.

Yeah, Drake and Savage was on the same team.

Oh, your team beat his team.

Yeah, we beat them for sure, like four or five times.

Damn.

Yeah, for sure.

And we'll do it again.

Y'all had

y'all had some money on the line?

We ain't even play for no money.

We was just playing for foreign for the sport.

We was just ready.

They probably take it seriously.

Drake had money on the wood.

Yeah, nah, we put that money on the wood, for sure.

We could play for that money.

They got a lot of it.

He tried to give it a popping, boss.

Yeah, we could play.

For sure.

But nah, that's my dog, man.

21.

That's my brother, Drake.

My home.

We was just at the career vibing and hooping.

And shit.

Yeah, we beat their ass like four or five times in a row.

So whose idea was it to get on the car?

Man, y'all, okay, y'all in there, y'all talking.

You doing y'all thing?

Y'all probably in the studio.

Man, somebody started talking, man.

Hey, probably, hey, you know how it be.

Like, everybody got them dreams.

They get the wolf wolf and like, all right, man, come on, suit up.

Like, take us one of them.

Take it to the court.

Suit up.

Everybody, come on, suit up for sure.

Like, niggas bringing hoop shoes.

Like, what size you wear?

You wear a na?

All right, go bring me another na.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, shit like that, for sure.

Now,

I don't know about y'all, but really, but I seen Chris Brown.

Chris Brown can really.

He's nice.

He's nice, too.

We played Chris Brown in the crew league.

We lost, though.

Yeah, yeah.

I figured, I figured that.

I wasn't going to say that, but I figured it's not.

No, we lost the Breezy team for sure.

Every time we went to the crew league, we made it to the finals, though.

We always made it to the championship.

There's been a lot of talk, and I know you didn't probably get an opportunity to see him at his prime.

I did, Michael Jackson.

A lot of people say Chris Brown is the greatest entertainer ever.

That title has been bestowed to Michael for a very long time.

Now, we know when it comes to album sales, record sales, nobody's going to be able to approach Mike.

First of all, they don't sell vinyls.

They don't sell records like that anymore.

So that's null and boy.

But do you believe that Chris Brown is the greatest entertainer?

I feel like there's nobody closer to Michael Jackson than Chris Brown.

Right.

Honestly, like for real, for real.

And just seeing it with my own eyes, you know, and just seeing like

who he is as a person and putting your whole everything into your crowd.

Like he really like is mind-blowing seeing him on stage.

Like having all that energy.

Yeah, man.

His hits, like being in shape where you could do 30.

flips back to back you know what i'm saying like yeah two hours two and a half hours of that night tonight and insane for 50 nights in a row, and then you could go do it again.

You could go do it out the country, you could do it in the States.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like, yeah, Breezy definitely, in my opinion, is the closest thing to Michael Jackson for sure.

How was it working with Breezy?

So, what's he like in the studio?

What's it like?

You know, like you said,

he's an phenomenal performer.

He can sing, he can dance.

There's not a doubt.

I mean, I don't even know if he got bones in his body the way he can get his body to do all that stuff.

Yeah, my knees hurting.

I'm going to have to get my knees replaced just watching the videos.

I don't got me replaced.

you know like some people just like have that it factor you feel i'm saying like some people it's really like god really put their hands on you and just made you this is what i want you everything you do you know what i'm saying in that in that field yeah and that's the same thing with like with him in the studio like the way he record is second nature when he in his compass zone like he wants you to come pull up on him come to the crib come where i'm at right and like like just vibe and it's gonna act it's gonna like

it's gonna have the same outcome every time you feel i'm saying, like, he's not gonna miss.

It's just what he do.

You feel me?

Like, and when I seen that, like, it's only certain people that I ever seen in my life who I feel like are just like

amazing at making music.

You feel what I'm saying?

And that's that's Chris Brown, Juice World,

Future, Meek Mill, and Thug.

Those are the only people that I really seen with my own ass.

Like, this shit really is second nature to them.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like, and it inspired me to, like,

get better.

You asked that

my game up, Baddie.

and inspired me to like just because i'm like a sponge though when i watch people do certain things i pick up from you know i'm saying the way they record and they patterns like you feel i'm saying like i'll give you an example like meet me he

freestyle a bunch of different flows and like cadences until he just find that one that he the most comfortable with and just go off of that you know what i'm saying and pluto do the same thing for real in his own way it's like he just keep on like he just edit he just spins shit and it sounds like he mumbling at first but then when you hear it and all put together, that shit sounds like amazing.

And I seen Juice World do the same thing with his music.

Like, Juice used to,

I've never seen nobody do what Juice World do, though.

Juice would rap a full song

in one take, like, without punching in.

Like, he would rap a really a full song, a hook, two verses, all in one take without stopping, and stop and rap another song completely different on the same beat, one take.

He'll do it at least three, four times.

Damn.

And just pick his favorite one.

I've never seen nobody do that in my life.

Ever.

So, look, I've had a lot of people on the show, and it's like, you know, Hove, you play Hove a beat.

Hove is in the back.

He's real quiet.

He's just nodding his head.

Then he goes in, boom, do his thing.

Face said, like, while he's listening to the beat, he's right.

Wayne don't write anything down.

He just go drive the track.

What's your style?

I'm kind of like a mixture between like what Hove and what Wayne do.

Like I'm quiet.

Like Southside,

Southside, that's my brother, man.

He's been producing me since I was 16 years old.

Like, I done heard him, like, you know how you be focused.

I'm thinking in my head.

Like, that's how I do.

I don't write.

I haven't wrote no song in probably four or five years.

Right.

For real.

So it's like, I just be in there vibing off the top of my head.

Saying the lyrics in my head though.

Like I'm thinking of it at least the first four to eight bars.

Then I go in and whatever I memorize, I say.

and from there I just pick on and punch in like how Wayne do.

But I'm talking about Southside.

I heard him say like, because they'll be in there making a beat and I'll just be like nodding.

And they'd be like, yeah, somebody asked, like, when he gonna go in there, he like, bro, he rapping already in his head.

Like, he already,

he, like, he noticed that I did that before I even was noticing.

Like, I just think of shit, but he's like, you always do that.

Like, I just be in there vibing in my head, and you would think I'm listening to the beat, but I'm actually rapping, like, my first four to eight bars at least.

Wow.

I go in there.

So you're not really paying attention to what the beat is doing.

You're thinking about what you're going to say over that beat.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Like, so as they making the beat and they producing, like, I'm just letting them do them because I know they're going to add more to it regardless.

So it's like, once I hear a sound or a loop, I know if I want to rap on the beat, the first four seconds of it.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like, I know how I want to come into it.

So it's like I'll be in my head just thinking of stuff, thinking of flows.

And it don't take me long.

Maybe after like 15 minutes or something, I'm ready to go rap.

Damn.

So

you don't get distracted?

Because if I'm like thinking about something, I'm, you know, man, be quiet.

Come on, man.

Damn.

No, hell no.

You need that.

Yeah, I do.

I love that type of energy.

And I think I've grown into that artist where it's like sometimes I might, you know, want to be in the studio by myself, but majority of the time, nine times out of ten, I want at least 10, 15 people in the studio.

That's what I was going to ask because.

Some like, no, bro, I want it quiet.

Some guys, look, I want to fire up and

I want chaos.

I want people just running around doing whatever y'all do.

Hey, because that don't impact me.

Let's get at it.

It's inspired my music, though.

So it's like a conversation that we might be having in this room.

I might think of something and it inspired me to like put it on the song.

You feel what I'm saying?

So it's like I actually like when it's a lot of people and people be loud and talking and laughing and shit.

It don't bother me at all.

Can you turn your mind off?

Because, you know, I've heard M says that, like, when he was in it, he's like, every time he was just thinking of something to rhyme, rhyme, hit, tick, blick, mick.

Do you turn your mind mind off?

Are you constantly trying to think of things that rhyme?

This is Colin Coward from the Colin Coward podcast.

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No, I don't.

And you know, I actually changed my whole style of like rap a few years ago because one of my closest friends, my best friend, WAP, he told me, like, bro,

I've watched you rap from

your very first times in the studio till now.

And I know, like, when you thinking too hard about stuff, like, I don't even think about metaphor, stuff that rhymes.

I don't think about stories I need to tell.

He said, just go in there and vibe to the beat, bro.

That's when you make your hardest shit.

He told me, like, every time you overthink.

And one time I did a song, me and 21 Savage was in the studio.

And this was like, this is probably like four years ago.

And he like, bro.

you thought too hard about that verse.

Like you could have went way crazier than that.

Damn.

And I was in my head thinking like I didn't really like the verse for real.

Right.

Okay, you was already there.

I was already thinking like, I didn't really like it.

I felt like I was frustrated thinking about too much shit because at that moment, it's like 21 so big as an artist.

I want to put my hardest shit on this.

You feel what I'm saying?

He's called me to the studio to jump on it.

So I'm thinking, like, I got to get him a fire ass verse.

And I shouldn't have been thinking like that.

I should have just been like, I'm finna just do me just going there.

And when he told me that, I never thought hard about my music again.

And I feel like I just got better and better.

Is that common?

Like, you want to beat, and you know, like they got some other fire, they got heat on that thing.

So you're like, I ain't finna beat.

Because you know, it's natural.

They're going to compare, man.

Who had the hardest verse on that track?

Absolutely, for sure.

and you like all i know i might not be the hardest but i that damn sure ain't gonna say i'm the weakest yeah no yeah like i go in with that mentality already like all right but i don't think about what i'm gonna say okay whatever's going on on the song i might just listen to the the vibe the hook or a little bit like i barely listen to their verses once i listen to the hook and a little bit of the verse i just go in there and just start rapping and that come out like and you know what it is i'm a real like critical thinker i think a lot i i can't really turn my mind off to stop thinking right so it's like when I get in my zone I just like rap and say whatever come to me right at that moment I'm like what I mean by so if I could like make it make more sense for you is as an artist

instead of thinking about the lines as they come soon as it gets your brain you start rapping you thinking about the end of the song like I want to like you thinking about shit before it even come to me like what I'm gonna say next I don't do that no more like I just whatever come to my head and a lot of times I used to think about like damn should I say this should I not say this?

Right.

How this is gonna like get, how is this gonna

like reflect on the world?

Or certain things I say, like, damn, how is this gonna affect this person?

I might be talking about something to somebody, like, damn, is this gonna offend people?

Like, I used to think like that all the time.

Now, I really just don't care.

Like, I don't even give a about nothing.

I don't care how people are gonna receive it or anything.

Because, at the end of the day, it's like, this is my art.

Right.

So, this is what you feeling at that time.

So, hey, you receive it how you receive it, but this is how I feel.

I go with it.

And I feel like once I started thinking like that like it's i'm unstoppable like i never get right as block or nothing this episode is brought to you by prize picks you and i make decisions every day but on prize picks being right can get you paid don't miss any of the excitement this football season on prize picks where it's good to be right it's officially that time of year you might lose hope in your team but don't worry that's why we have prize picks to keep you going week five of football was something special tampa's comeback philly lost their first game don't even get me started on my Baltimore squad.

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It's good to be right.

If you on a track, do you want to hear other people's verse on that track?

Or do you like, hey, give me, let me come in when I come in and then whatever happens, happens.

Because, you know, sometimes they might play Somebody that's on the track they might play that verse right then you hear it and then what have you ever recorded and then you heard somebody

that's why I like to hear they shit first okay

I'm not gonna lie I definitely like to hear don't send me no blank songs

I'm gonna get offended a little bit like I'm gonna get mad because I don't do that you know what I'm saying like I feel like I gotta at least hear your verse to give me some some type of direction.

You know what I mean?

Because I could be all over the place and you on one subject of the song.

You feel what I'm saying?

I feel like people do that intentionally because they want to burn.

You want to say

the heart and shit.

You feel what I'm saying?

When they do that, I'll be like, nah, hell no, send me your verse.

You feel what I'm saying?

Or I take long with the verse on purpose.

You feel what I'm saying?

Then they'll go ahead and see you doing it.

Yeah, I take long with the verse on purpose.

And then it's like, now I'm taking my time with it.

Because sometimes I will go in the studio and like, play four bars be like, all right, but I'm going to do another song.

And then come back to that song and lay another four bars and and lay eight bars or whatever until I finish the whole verse.

Like, I've done that multiple times.

He said, I want to hear what they're saying.

You ain't finna burn me.

Yeah, hell no, no, hell, no.

You got to send the whole verse.

Especially if I know that the song done already.

Like, hell no.

And I want you to send me everybody on it.

Artists do that too, though.

Do it.

Yeah.

So, say, for instance,

if I'm about to do a song

with Meek Mill, he had send me his verse, but Jadakiss would be on the song already, too.

So he wouldn't send me the...

Nah, not the YouTube.

I'm not saying him personally, but artists.

now right right like it'll be other people on the song but they not sending they verses like no i'll need to hear everybody that's on this song right now before i lay my shit but so let's just say for the sake of argument you got four guys on a song um

do you mat do it does it matter to you which sequence you go are you first you second you third you finish up how does that who who determines the order the sequence in which um i feel like whoever song it is and and just like rapper etiquette whoever got the hardest verse have to go last, right?

First or last, you can't really go in the middle, you know what I'm saying?

So, I don't really mind, though, I don't be caring because I'll be feeling like I'm gonna have to

get that five anyway, so it don't matter.

And a lot of times, they put me last on the verse for sure.

I'm usually always last.

I'm either first or last, right?

Okay, let's go back to the beginning.

You said you were born in Chicago, east side of Chicago.

Obviously, you talked about having homies and people that you knew and you grew up with, not make it as far as you did.

What was that culture like, the gang culture?

When did you realize that you, man,

my life different

than a lot of people that's my age that look like me, they don't have to experience what I'm experiencing.

When did you realize that where you were definitely was going to impact what you became?

When I started traveling, like when I started to actually see other places and go to other cities and I started traveling doing shows when I was like 17 years old.

Like, going to Rhode Island, going to like Boston, and seeing, like, damn, this shit is totally different.

Like, it's hoods everywhere, don't get me wrong.

Correct.

Even, even like other cities in the Midwest, like, you feel what I'm saying, Minnesota, and like, everybody got their hoods, it's all like trenched out, dangerous, but Chicago is just totally different.

And the stuff that I grew up seeing, I thought it was normal because everybody was doing that.

Like, you feel what I'm saying?

Like, you going to school, like, I seen my first guns and shit at school.

Like, damn.

People going to school and having guns on them.

And I'm in fifth grade, sixth grade.

You know what I'm saying?

They having a different bitness off.

And then you look up at the time you're in eighth grade, we got metal detectors.

Because niggas know that, you know what I'm saying?

People that brought guns to school and shit.

And like

my first home, like I, it was like,

it didn't dawn on me.

that my life was so different and so chaotic until I started to see people from other places and

like having conversations with people that was older than than me that didn't really like

that grew up in Chicago but didn't grow up how we grew up that wasn't in the streets you feel what I'm saying like I lost some of my first friends when I was in like sixth grade like that's when I started seeing people get killed and murdered and shit like all right but I with bro he went to my school we used to chop it up and we come back to school the next day like yeah so-and-so got killed you feel me like was that your first experience with death when you're in the like the sixth grade with with death with people getting killed yeah murders yeah for sure like sixth grade fifth grade shit like that.

Where it's like somebody who, you know, cuz I had older, older cousins and and brothers and shit that went to my school.

I got an older brother and I got older cousins.

And it was like,

we was deep.

It was probably like nine of us that went to that school.

So like their friends and they grade, you seeing people they hang out with, like, damn, he just got killed.

You feel I'm saying?

And they come back to school, people sad, some other shit.

And it's like, it was so normal.

Like, people just went on with their day.

And then maybe a few months later, this person got killed, you know, and it's like,

I didn't really like it, it didn't hit home for me until I got in like seventh and eighth grade when I started to like people who I knew and looked up to started to get killed, you know what I'm saying?

And it was all like behind like street shit, gang shit.

You feel what I'm saying?

It wasn't no accidental shit.

It's like, damn, you were eighth, it wasn't no car wreck, it wasn't.

Yeah, you

somebody had an illness, leukemia, cancer, something like that.

Nah, hell no, like somebody intentionally killed you.

So it's like it gets to a point where

you like damn i only i can't become a victim of this you feel what i'm saying so that's what i wanted to ask you yeah you said east side is it's big

but

you didn't see anybody it's really small it's really small

but let me ask you this did you know anybody from the east side that had made it out and became successful doing something because it's hard Being from rural South Georgia, we didn't see anybody.

We didn't know anybody that had made it to the NFL or we didn't have anybody come back and talk to us and give us pep talks and say, you could become this.

You know, all we saw saw was advertising uh military looking for a few good men yeah ain't it yeah you know what i'm saying so i'm trying to get i'm trying to get up out of there but that that's not the route i'm trying to go so when did you make it up in your mind say you know what

i see all this death happening around me

i ain't going that route

probably

when i i dropped out of school like i was still rapping and going to school and i had like a little hood fame and notoriety you feel what i'm saying so it's like by the time i was 16 years old, people actually really know my name.

Okay.

But at the same time, I was in the streets.

So that was bad as well.

You feel what I'm saying?

It's like now it's to a point where I'm rapping.

I got videos on YouTube that got 20,000, 30,000 views, 40,000, 100,000 views.

It's picking up, like for real, like really picking up.

And those 100,000 coming from other cities and stuff like that, too.

But the majority of it is coming from Chicago.

So it's like, I'm becoming a household name in Chicago.

You feel what I'm saying?

But I'm still going to school.

So it's like, oh, yeah.

He goes to that school.

We about to come up to that school and get this.

You got something?

Like, yeah, niggas was coming up to my school, like, looking for me and shit.

And I was like, I was always smart.

I was steps ahead of everybody.

Like, I never really rode the bus for real.

Like, after when I got popping, like, my freshman year, yeah, I could get on the bus.

But by the time I was at Southamo, I dropped out my Southamo.

Yeah.

Okay.

By the time I was at Southamore, it's like I had to get dropped off from school by my homies.

I had to get picked up from school by my homies.

Like, my mama couldn't drop me off or pick me up at school because I didn't want to put my mama in harm's way.

You feel me?

Like, I never used to drop my sister off when I had a car.

I never took her to school.

I never put her in the car with me because I knew the reality of my life.

Like, my car really could get shot up for real.

And I didn't want to have my mama or my sister in the car.

So it's like, when I dropped out of school, I'm like, bro, I got to really do this shit for real.

Like, I really, like, I made a promise to my mom and dad.

My little brother, Lil Greg, who passed away, his baby mama told me a conversation that I had with my dad.

I didn't remember.

And, like, he was arguing me, yelling at me, like, man, he dropping out of school.

Like, what you going to be a flunky, like, one of these niggas?

I'm like, no, I'm about to rap.

This shit about to work.

He, like, what's your plan B?

I'm like, ain't no plan B.

This shit works.

It's going to work.

I'm telling you, like, I'm about to really do it.

So at that age, I'm 16, 17 years old.

I really like have a lot of responsibility on me because, like, all right, you're not going to school.

You're not finna sit around this house either and just be around this bitch getting high, eating up all the food.

You about to to go do something and go get some money.

You feel what I'm saying?

That's the type of time, like, you know, my mom and everybody was on.

Like, all right, so what you gonna do?

And, man, thank God that it actually started to pick up fast.

You feel me?

Like, I dropped out of school maybe

six months later, or eight months later, when I was going into my junior year, Nicki Minaj called my phone for a feature.

You feel me?

So

it started to pick up early on, you know.

And in the midst of all of that, people was dying around me, a lot of my closest friends.

So it's like I had to still maneuver through that because I was still living in Chicago.

You know what I'm saying?

And we were young, you know, my brain wasn't even fully developed yet.

Yeah, for real.

So I'm still thinking I could go.

You've been young, you're invincible.

Yeah, I thought I was invincible for real.

Like, I ain't gonna lie.

And at the same time,

let me rephrase it.

Like, I knew I wasn't, but I didn't care.

I was willing to like put my life on the line and do certain shit where it's like, I go to this store, I go to the gas station, I'm willing to really like

pull my gun out and protect myself, right?

You feel what I'm saying, at any given moment.

And that's really like that's crash out shit.

Yeah, for sure.

Because, man, first of all, if you got to go somewhere, you got to carry a gun, you already know.

Yeah, you already know it's a different type of thing.

You're a real OG because, like, my uncles used to say that, like, bro, if I got to carry a gun, I don't even want to go there.

No, because you already looking for something to pop on.

I used the complete opposite.

Like, I'm carrying it everywhere, like, every single way I go.

Like, we used the complete opposite of that.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like, I don't want to go nowhere, I can't carry a gun.

Oh, lord, that's how I used to think for real.

Like, you go, you, hey, you hoping something jump off.

Yeah, no, I used to think like that for real, man.

It's like, but it was only because you got to think about it.

Like, death was at an all-time high where I'm from.

Like, so many of my friends, by the time I was like, when I met my first manager, Mickey, who's still my manager to this day,

when I met him,

he made me like, he just always thought outside the box.

He like, man, I'm about to paint this picture, like,

you know, y'all's story, you being from the hood and,

excuse me,

being in the streets and losing homies at 14, 15, 16.

He like, man, I want to do a mural.

Like, write your homies down, your closest homies that passed away.

You feel me?

And, like, he thought it was probably going to be 3-4.

Like, it was like 20 people on the wall.

17 people or some shit like that on the wall that we spray painted.

We down that lost room and it blew his mind.

He like, God damn, like you really know them many people dead.

I'm like, yeah, hell yeah.

And that's all in a matter of

four years.

Three or four years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, shit like that.

Do you remember how old you were when you got your first gun?

Probably like 14, 14, 15.

Yeah, hell yeah.

I remember I bought it myself.

I mean, normally, you know, people try to get like PlayStation or Xboxes or stuff like that.

I mean,

you getting that too.

And you didn't think it is like, you thought it was, was it cool to you, or do you feel like, man, this is a necessary part of the outcome?

I don't know.

I needed it.

Like, for real.

Like, leaving out of the house, going to certain places, you got to think, like I said, East had big, but it's small.

I live right here.

My auntie lived eight blocks this way.

My best friend lived five, six blocks this way.

It's like, when I ain't had no transportation, I got to walk to the house or catch the bus.

You never know who you're going to see.

So you got that thing on you?

Hell yeah.

I bought my first gun when I was like 14.

So what happened?

What happened to?

No, we grew up, we grew up 40 things.

We grew up fighting too, but then it was over with us, but then nobody liked taking no ass, and nobody wants to get their ass moved.

So, because, especially now, because it's on the internet, yeah, it is forever.

So, you take an L, and now I got to go get, I got to go get, get that, get back.

That's another thing.

Like, I'm not even being funny, I ain't joking.

Like, me and all my homies, like, knew how to fight.

Yeah, we really used to whoop niggas' ass for it.

So, it's like they used to get mad and they started shooting at us for real, for real, to be honest.

Like, we like every all my homies know how how to fight, right?

My big brother, he knows how to fight good as.

You feel what I'm saying?

My big cousins know how to fight good as, and I was the youngest, they used to beat me up all the time.

So, it's like I grew up fighting my whole life, and then gotta think I'm light-skinned.

Niggas used to pick, yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta get it.

I didn't hear you, niggas, you know, you

play with me, yeah, call me soft, pretty boy.

My name Herbert used to call me Hershey.

Ah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

Now, you can do light-skinned and your name, Herbert.

Oh, yeah, you gotta double-check it.

I used to have to fight a lot, bro.

Like, all the time, you feel what I'm saying?

So, it's like, I grew up knowing how to fight, but it got to a point where it's like, ain't nobody finna just let you just beat them up.

You feel me?

They ain't gonna want to do something to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It got to a point with me where it's like, I don't even got enough love for you to be fighting you because I know if I whoop, you're gonna try to shoot me anyway.

I might as well just skip to the get-down.

We might as well just

do.

You're like, hey, in the beginning, the end.

You ain't got no middle part.

I feel like that was just what was going on, man.

I ain't gonna lie to you.

But you make a decision.

Then you got shot

at 16.

Walk us through that day.

Wake up, like, hey, man, sun's out.

I mean,

because sometimes people get like, man, I just, I mean, I've had things happen to me.

It was a good day up until that part.

It was a good ass day.

I ain't gonna lie.

Like, I was fresh as brand new outfit.

I had on like True Religion, Louis Belt, Lita's hoodie, Lita's hat, wheat Tamilins.

You know what's so crazy?

I'm gonna tell you a funny story, too.

So I had had a

photo shoot with,

I think it was Elevator Magazine at the time.

And I was shooting like content for my first mixtape, Walking the Fazoland.

So I was downtown feeling good,

nice fit on, you feel me, like dressed up, smoking, just chilling.

Like I had a great day, great photo shoot.

So it's like, I'm like, it was in the middle of the summer too.

Damn, it was hot outside.

You feel me?

I'm done with the shoot probably about six o'clock.

I'm like, oh, yeah, I know for sure the block busting right now.

It's It's too many people out there.

It's hot.

I know it is.

So,

but fast forward that day, I'm going to tell you, like, the Timblers I had on, I couldn't, I didn't have no time to go to,

um, it's a store called DTLI, like right by my grandma's house.

I didn't have time to go there and go get me no Timblers.

So my little brother had a fresh pair of Tims in the crib.

I'm like, man, let me get these Tims, bro.

He, hell no, man, you go get your.

This is Colin Coward from the Colin Coward podcast.

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like i'm not getting it to you oh man bro i'm finna give you 150 for the shoes right now that's what teams like a hundred dollars or some like

i'm about to give you 150 for the shoes bro just let me get them he still no no hell no i want to i'm finna put my tems on so i wound up like kind of like strong arming him out of them and and still getting the money.

Like, bro, give me these damn shoes.

Right.

I get shot in the shoes.

I got shot in the foot.

He was like, once he was crying, right?

His baby mama told me, like,

yeah, Herb got shot.

I'm going to still tell you the story, like, how it happened, but I'm just saying this part.

He's like, yeah, Herb got shot on the phone crying and shit.

So he wound up finding out he was good, like, that I was good.

He didn't know at first, you feel me?

So on Twitter, like, I was famous a little bit when I got shot.

So they on Twitter talking about the shit.

When he found out I was good and I got shot in the foot, this fuck nigga was only mad about his shoes.

He got a hold of his TM.

He only mad about the shoes now after I paid him for him and everything.

He man,

you didn't got shot in my TMs.

Shit like that.

Like that's not like ain't shit.

They're my TMs.

I paid you for it.

Yeah, like come on, bro, for real.

But matter of fact, you know what it was?

I was on, he was so on some petty shit, he wasn't even gonna buy no, I think I let him finesse me.

I gave him the money and still told him like, bro, I'm gonna get your TMs back.

Like, you can have, I'm gonna wear them to the shoot and I'm going to get your shoes back.

So that's why he was mad.

Like, nigga, you was supposed to get my shit back, and I got shot in.

But anyway, so look, it was a hot, like I said, a hot summer day.

I go outside on my block and we out there deep, like deep, deep, probably like

50, 60 of us.

You know what I'm saying?

And my hood was like packed.

So it's like, we'll be posted up on one block, probably 20, 30 people, girls.

Then we on the whole next block, 20, 30 people, girls, like, and just rotating, walking back and forth from stores.

It was one of them type of vibes.

And we just out there chilling with a bunch of girls and shit.

And you know, it's so crazy.

Like, two of my homies here walked up on the corner and told me, like, hey, I just seen some niggas riding with hoodies on and shit.

Like, you feel what I'm saying?

They finna come right through here.

You feel me?

Like, he gave us a warning and everything.

He told me, like, move around, stand from right here.

One of my homies who passed away, long live my homie, Cap Man, Marvin Carr.

He got

like two girls right there.

I think he was talking to.

And I was talking to one of the girls at the time.

And another girl that was right there was

one of the guys who warned me, my homie, it was his baby mama at the time.

So when he, like, man, move around from right here.

Like, he's telling us, move around.

You feel what I'm saying?

And they finna go on the next block and just like secure the area because they on point.

But my homie on some cocky shit.

Like, man, f ⁇ them niggas.

Like, let them come.

You feel what I'm saying?

And in the back of my mind, I knew they weren't lying.

I'm like, no, them niggas finna come right here.

So I told the girls, like, y'all move around.

Just go to the corner, type shit.

And they moved around, but we never moved, though.

We never was like, well, damn, you gave them the hands up and you didn't heed your own warning.

Yeah, I ain't, I just, we just stayed right there.

Like,

and

you know, it's so crazy, like, when it happened, we always, before it happened, I mean, we all was, like, on this one block, and the police pulled up right there and did some shit.

Like, everybody looked, like, they didn't even hop out in friskers.

They was like, everybody, lift y'all's shirt up.

And just, like, to make make sure we ain't had no guns on, type of shit.

Lift our shirt up.

And I went around the block.

And lo and behold, as soon as I get to the corner, after I told the girls to move around, nigga just pulled up shooting.

And I got hit.

And like, me and like eight other of my homies, like nine of us got hit.

That shit was on a newspaper article.

Like, damn.

Yeah, some crazy shit for sure.

Yeah, like nine of us got shot.

Then you wish you'd had that thing on you, wouldn't you?

Nah, I ain't gonna lie, of course, for sure.

But I ain't gonna lie, I'm gonna keep it a buck with you for real, for real.

When that shit happened, when the police police pulled right there, I threw my gun like on the, like, like in the, in the field, under somewhere.

I had it only 35 seconds before it happened.

Like, you feel me?

Y'all saw him coming, so you got them.

You saw the police coming.

Yeah, you got rid of them.

Yeah, and then they walked up, like, on some lift y'all shirt up.

But to be honest, though, I feel like it was like some shit where like a might have called the police like, oh, yeah, they right there standing with guns so we could get dispersed or whatever and then come around and do what they did type shit.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like, I feel like it was a situation like that.

Yeah.

Was that the moment that you realized, you know what?

I'm going to have to get it.

I'm going to have to get it so I can't.

I'm somebody now.

Because, like you said, your music has started to take off.

You're not the same.

I'm going to be completely honest with you, man.

Hell no.

I was right back.

You were looking for some issues.

I was right back out there, man.

I got shot.

I probably went out there the next day or the day.

The day after that with a boot on my leg, just outside standing.

Looking for hoping they come back, ain't it no not even that it was just like not caring like really just not caring if they come back for real

like because we i mean it's not like we was oblivious to it like we knew possibly like yeah nigga come back through this bitch it's a war zone it's hot you feel i'm saying come through this bitch shooting at any day but i wasn't worried about i wasn't scared you feel i'm saying like and

like i said

Right before I got shot, I did have a gun on me.

I threw it.

You feel what I'm saying?

When the police came.

So it's like, even when I was back out there the next day, I was back out there with a boot.

Can't run, but got guns on me still.

But but ain't nobody lose their life during that.

No, not that day.

Nope.

No, they just got people just got healed.

Yeah, nobody lost their life for sure.

But nine of us got shot that day for sure.

That shit made the news and everything.

Damn, how many was in the car?

Four or five?

What?

In the car that came, they rolled through.

Yeah, yeah, they came.

But it came spread.

They get that many.

The boys came hot.

The boys came hot.

Damn.

Man, I just

you told a story like, you know what?

You're like, you realize that, you know what, I'm not the same guy anymore.

And me not being the same guy anymore, I can't put people that I love in harm's way.

Mom, you ain't driving me to school no more.

Lil sis, you're not, I'm not dropping you off to school.

The homies, that this is what we, this is who we are.

Right.

We good with it.

Whatever happened to us, I can live with that.

But if something were to happen to my mom or sister, I'm really going to go crazy.

So stuff go really,

it's never going to end.

Because if you get my mom or my sister, it's never going to end.

So I'm not even, I don't got nothing to live for at that point, for sure.

So, it's like, yeah, I understood that early.

Like, I never put my mom in the car, my aunties, my grandmother, nobody ever got in the car with me.

And I never got in the car with them.

Like, I would rather just wait all day until somebody picked me up before I desperately tell my mama to drop me off somewhere.

You feel me?

Like, and I done did that many, many a times, you know.

And

the first thing I did when I got some real money, the very first thing I did was bought my mama a house far, far, far away.

Right.

Super far.

Like, I moved my mama like 40 minutes away from the hood, you know, and nobody never knew where she lived.

Only probably three of my closest friends ever been to my mama's house still to this day.

You feel me?

So, I always been one of the kind of people who just like, you know, protect family.

My dad taught me that.

Like, I come from a two-parent household.

So, my pops always told me, like, protect your family no matter what you got going on.

You feel me?

And my parents always like

trusted me enough to just make good decisions.

Like, although I was in the streets and I had, like, shit going on, they trusted me to never bring it back to my house.

You feel what I'm saying?

And, like, I took that real serious.

You mentioned that you were in the street.

You come from a two-parent household.

Your dad, your mom ever say, son, son, you don't have to do that.

I think I was just too far gone.

You weren't trying to hear that.

Yeah, I was too far gone.

I'm not going to lie.

And I always been like real strong-headed.

And my dad, he know me.

Like, me and him, the same sign and everything.

So it's like, once I was already in it, all they could really do is tell me just be smart for me like it was i was too too late

you went to high school with king vaughn yeah yeah yeah vaughn probably was in a

monitor his ass ain't come back to school

yeah for sure yeah i definitely went to high school with von though well so what so what so what was it so i mean obviously you say you went to school not not as not very long but when you what was your what was your thoughts when you first met him

i actually

I had already known, like, who Von was before school because we got like mutual friends.

My homie, like I said, one of my best friends, Wap, he from the projects that got knocked down.

And a lot of those people from like Vaughn Hood, like Oblock, and shit like that, they from those projects.

Okay.

So like they had already known each other.

And we done been around each other many a time.

So it's like, I already like.

with Vaughn and knew him like and knew like what he was about like bro was the real deal for real.

Oh, he's on that type of time for me.

No, for sure.

So, like, is that true?

I mean, I'll be reading.

I don't know if it's true or not, but they'll be hearing.

They like, man, if you wouldn't do it, volunteer, F it.

I'll go do it myself.

I mean, yeah, it was a lot of people like that in Chicago, though.

For real?

Yeah, hell yeah.

It was a lot of people.

But you got to think about it.

When you on that type of time, you can't really, like, and this is something that's really true.

I feel like if you second-guessing yourself, and you can poke me up some more, too.

If you're second-guessing yourself and you don't want to do it, just don't do it.

You shouldn't do it.

Right.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, and I believe in that.

Like, I wouldn't want to have nobody around me for real that I got to question a second guess because that could cost you a life.

For real, for real.

Like, somebody to choke up and freeze and

cost you a life.

So it's like, yeah, for sure.

If you wasn't on that type of time, he didn't even want to hang with you.

I wouldn't want to hang with you either because it's like, you really don't want to do this.

Go find you something else to do.

This ain't for you.

You know what I'm saying?

So it's like, yeah, for sure, for sure.

I'm like, that was probably the first day of school when I seen Vaughn in there He walked up to my homie like hey boy It's going down in this like you feel I'm saying like he already want us like boy.

Y'all be on point here.

Damn.

Yeah

How difficult was it for you to watch him get murdered on video?

That shit broke my heart for sure.

Like and I don't like

I don't really be

Like

emotional for real.

Like I'm so numb to death.

I'm not a stranger to it because I've been experiencing it my whole life.

But, like, when he, when he died and seeing that shit, like,

that shit really, like, I'm getting emotional right now thinking about it.

Did you hear about it and then watch the video, or did you see the video first?

Because, did you get?

I had, no, I had heard about it already.

I heard about it the night it happened.

Okay.

I'm saying because we got so many mutual friends and shit.

Got right to me.

You feel me?

Like, as soon as it happened, I knew probably like an hour later.

You feel me?

Right.

And then I seen the video.

And yeah, that shit definitely made me emotional for sure.

Like, just seeing it.

And

no matter, like,

and I don't want people to, like, take what I'm saying and misconfuse it.

Like, where we come from, sometimes you just, you just, well, not sometimes, a lot of times, you got to adapt to your environment.

Like, no matter what you might think somebody did or stuff shit a nigga might did, like.

We really be having good hearts at the end of the day.

Like, I don't care what Vaughn did in the streets.

That was a good nigga, like a real nigga.

You feel what I'm saying?

And it's like,

don't get me wrong i believe in like

universal law you feel i'm saying so it's like have it played out it played out okay you feel me you live by the gun you die by the gun you know i'm saying like a real a real that come from the streets understand understand that understand that 100 but just seeing it and like you know i'm saying just seeing like damn like that shit i feel like that wasn't his story like you know i'm saying i feel like it just he had so much more life so much more shit to do like you feel me like i took vaughn on his first tour like as a as a main artist.

Like, he performed, then I performed.

You feel me?

So it's like, I always fuck with bro.

I always believed in him.

You feel me?

Like, when that shit happened, it just, like, it threw me out.

It just, it just made me feel like, like, damn, bro, you can't take this shit for granted.

Like, this shit.

Help me understand.

Bro,

your whole life, you thinking, and I'm sure he thought the very same thing.

I want to get out of this environment.

He's out.

He's a big rapper.

Why go back?

Why do that?

Why continue to do that?

I feel like, I'm not even going to feel like

this is the truth.

It's just like, when that shit in you, it's in you.

Like, that shit just is easy for you.

Like, you got to really, you got to work harder on not doing something to somebody than

anything else.

You feel what I'm saying?

So it's like, I think you feel like when you know what you're capable of and you feel like somebody playing with you, you would just do something.

Like, you would just make you.

How you let them play with you?

You're not even supposed to be in that environment.

Guess what?

Yeah.

I make four or five million dollars a year.

Aren't you going to surround yourself?

Because you don't need to be in that environment anymore because those guys are no longer on your level.

Now you hang around with people that's on your level.

You hang with me.

You hang with future.

You hang with Bug.

You hang with those type of people.

Bruh, I ain't on this no more.

It's like you gotta...

It take a little minute to adjust, though.

It's not like a snap of a finger.

Vaughn wasn't, he wasn't a millionaire for years.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, he still was trying trying you still trying to stack coming out the streets you feel i'm saying like he getting his money he doing what he's doing but it take you a long time to really process that this is my life right you feel i'm saying so it's like naturally he really still a street so he gonna react like how a street react you feel me like it took me years and years to just be like shit ain't worth it like you feel i'm saying like i'm about to give you a scenario i was just in

North Carolina rally some dumbass shit some niggas walked up on me and like tried me in the mall like said some shit to me like yeah.

I'm not even going to like say the artist or whatever.

He walked up to me talking about another artist.

Like, yeah,

we got this chain.

Tell him bad back.

Like, and I'm like, what the f you mean?

I don't care about that shit.

I'm like, what the fk you telling me for?

That's exactly what I said to him.

He like, yeah.

I'm just saying, like, if he want to get it, tell him, get up with us.

I said, bro, I'm sure they know how to find y'all and get that shit back if they want to.

And I'm walking off and he said some shit like, yeah, because, nigga, we was just, just, just telling you, like, bro, you a little too aggressive.

Like, we'll take your shit.

I ain't even had no jury on or nothing.

I just looked back and walked off.

Like, it's, that's one of the hardest.

But you, but you, like, that's one of the hardest things to do, to walk away, for real.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I had to grow into that person.

Like, I know for a fact, I got 10 shopping bags in my hand.

Like, I dropped these shopping bags and we'll just tear this whole fucking mall up.

Like, for real, for real.

I really would do that with y'all.

It's two of y'all, and it's two of me and my homie.

You feel what I'm saying?

And I had to tell him, like, come on, we gone, bro.

Like, it ain't really worth it.

Right.

I don't have no point to prove for real.

Like, you got to really get me out of my element or put your hands on me or cause some physical harm.

And I know that y'all really not on that type of time because I just turned my back on y'all and walked on.

And you walked on.

So if y'all really wanted to do something, y'all hit off.

If y'all really want to do something, y'all wouldn't even do no talking.

Exactly.

But it's like when I turned around, I never looked back, literally.

I never looked back to see if they follow me or nothing.

I really made them part of my whole back.

back and it's like that is that's growth like i i never that person like because you never give up your six i was never that person for real like i'm not finna turn around on y'all i'm not finna just walk off after you just said you would take my i would have been like take what what you talking about what you want to do in here right now like i would have kept not cared about my clothes that i just bought none of this you feel what i'm saying like I had to grow into that person.

It took years to do that.

You feel what I'm saying?

I'm saying all that to say, Vaughn hadn't became that person yet to just let shit go, sweep it under the rug.

He couldn't let that.

Yeah, like whatever, whatever was on his mind was on his mind where he just felt like, all right, but I'm finna just go do what I got to do.

Knowing that if you live like that,

you got to always,

always

have both eyes.

Not one eye, both eyes.

Three eyes.

Are you surprised that

they were able to get the drop on him like they did?

No, I'm not, because that's just how shit happened.

You feel what I'm saying?

It happened like that in the blink of the eye, like super quick.

I done seen that happen a hundred times, not just to him.

You feel me?

Damn.

So, no, I wasn't.

I wasn't surprised at all.

I was

just really just heartbroken back for real.

Because, like,

once shit happened, it's nothing you could do, regardless of how your homies react or whatever.

What's done is done to him.

It's already

ain't no coming back from that.

Exactly.

So, it's like, when you understand that, like, I done seen it so many times.

So, it's like, I know,

and this is just my mentality, though, to be honest.

Like,

I always feel like something is going to happen to me anyway.

When I walk out the house, I'm already in fear.

Man,

that didn't.

Why are you talking about it?

I'm not putting it in the air.

Like, I don't feel like somebody's going to do something to me, but I just know the possibilities.

Like, it can't happen.

So, that's what keeps me on my square.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I'm not going to get into a fist fight at a club.

I'm not going to get into a fist fight at the mall.

I'm not going to, because I got to get home to my kids.

So, it's like, I'm already going to go to the height.

This This is Colin Coward from the Colin Coward podcast.

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It's level.

Like, that's what I mean by, like, I'm already feeling like something is going to happen to me.

I'm afraid.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, it's okay to be afraid.

I think being scary is going to get you home every time.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like, I don't care about that.

Like, I'll tell nigga, I'm scared because I'm going to react like I'm scared.

You feel what I'm saying?

Do you feel, even though you've been, you're like, bro, I done moved away from that.

That ain't even been my, that ain't even, not it's in me.

I just want you to know it's in me.

But I don't want him to come out.

I ain't even on that type of time no more.

I don't want to at all.

But you got to, and this is the real up part about it, though, for real.

Like,

I feel like when you become that person, they just pull at you.

Like,

especially people who, from when you,

they know how to get it out you know how to get it out you and it's like it's a full-time job to like not react and not crash out like let people say stuff let people say certain things because I'm always always been a kind of guy like

I really go show love.

Like, when I'm back home, I do events, I do stuff for the kids, for the community.

You feel what I'm saying?

I go out, I enjoy myself.

All my homies who want to come out, we can go to the club and do all that kind of stuff.

So I don't respond to negativity because it's like I'm outside too much.

Right.

And you will see me.

I don't want to bring that type of energy on myself.

You feel what I'm saying?

So it's like,

once you see it,

You will see stuff.

It might make you upset.

You seeing stuff on the internet.

You want to look at the comments and all that shit, but you can't really let it affect you because you putting it on you like you putting too much of that energy on you or people will just try to try you and just make a name for themselves you find

i've seen it so many times where it's like

yeah you could change and elevate and say i don't want to be that person no more but you got to stay sharp you have to like because in the instant in the instant it'll happen so it's like you because they know you gee they know you bro that ain't on him that's in him yeah he really like that yeah and so you like go do all your weight you got people who will really like know that and crash because they don't got nothing to live for, right?

Like, they like they don't really even damn that care about their life that much.

Yeah, if you don't give a damn about his, he's left.

He don't care, like, he wants me to do something to him, damn that, just so it's like I could my life up, I could go to jail or possibly die anything.

Like, people really want you to

stoop down to their level a lot, like, especially coming from Chicago, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I see it a lot, I've seen it so many times, and what I'm saying about like staying sharp is like, you don't have to

become the aggressor in a situation, but you got to create boundaries.

Like as soon as somebody cross that line, you got to take it there.

That's the only way that it's going to really like resolve in my opinion.

Somebody cross that line, say certain shit.

Like my mama always told me, somebody tell you they crazy, believe them.

So it's like, if somebody says something to me, I'm automatically on radar and I'm ready to like.

take it to the highest level because it's like, why are you even trying me?

I got to make it home.

So we not finna, it's not finna be no in-between either.

Choice between who goes.

Yeah, if you want to take it there, we're gonna take it all the way there, man, or we just not gonna take it there at all.

Geez, man, I mean, we usually like he crazy, I like play play crazy or get a check crazy, you know, they're two different things.

No, for sure, that's definitely like there's two different can

two different kinds.

Like, and

a lot of people get a check crazy.

A lot of people really like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, and and I seen, I know it.

Like, in Chicago, it's like, that place is different.

Like,

anybody, the craziest looking person you would never think of really do something to you.

So it's like, you got to just stay on your way.

But how?

Doesn't that get tired?

Yeah, hell yeah.

I mean, I mean, I mean, because you,

what was that movie?

Bumpy Johnson with a

with whispers.

You don't

know.

You look a movie.

Yeah.

And he's like, he don't.

I'm tired.

Yes.

I'm tired.

Yeah.

That's one of my favorite movies ever.

I'm like, bro.

I mean, to like,

have you ever had a peaceful night's sleep?

Can you rest?

Can you just lay down and like go get in a rim sleep?

You know, the only time I really sleep like that is when I'm home with my girl and my kids.

Like for real.

Even on the road.

Like, I still have nightmares a lot, bro.

Like, nightmares, like, sleep paralysis.

Like, it'd be hard for me.

Like, my girl be waking me up sometimes.

She like, man, what's wrong with you?

Like, she's like, are you crying in your sleep?

You jumping?

Like, yeah, like all of that kind of stuff.

And

I hate it, though.

I'm not gonna lie, I don't like it at all.

You feel I'm saying, and I didn't try at all.

You know, I've got a real non-profit where I get therapy to all types of kids.

I didn't try therapy myself.

I still, you know, believe in therapy and try to have sessions as much as I can, you feel what I'm saying.

But it's like

it don't really help for real, for real, especially with like sleep and stuff like that.

Like, I got bad insomnia.

I'd be up all night, all night, and I might get a couple hours of of sleep.

And I feel like,

though,

in my opinion, the only way it's gonna kind of like change, I'm gonna have to really retire and not deal with people and not deal with the shit that I deal with on a day.

It's a long, long time.

It's a long time.

So, like, I probably don't get no good night of sleep until I'm 50 years old,

50, 55 years old.

I can really don't worry about it.

And then your flat will get bad and you don't get no good night sleep.

Trust me.

You had a a friend that

reportedly was killed.

I think he was shot at a barbershop.

Yeah.

That's who I like.

That was my best friend, but I call him my little brother.

That's what was mad at me about the shit.

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah.

Obviously, you said that was your best friend.

You called him, you know, like your little brother.

Yeah.

When you got that news,

what some of the emotions you started to feel?

Honestly, that was

probably one of the worst days of my life for sure.

I never felt that

shock and hurt and disappointment when it happened.

And you know what's so crazy?

He probably

might have got killed 11 a.m.

Chicago time.

So that's like 9 a.m.

in LA.

I'm fresh coming from the studio.

Me and him texting paragraphs at 4 a.m.

Like our last conversation was really just us telling each other how much we love each other and how like, man, bro, you know, I don't want nothing from you.

I never wanted nothing from you.

I just want you to like win.

I just want the best for you.

Not nothing from you.

That was the last conversation we had talking like that.

You feel what I'm saying?

So

I'm on a couch sleep at home, and this girl hit me like, I'm so sorry about your brother.

Like, it's this girl that do like philanthropy work in Chicago.

You feel what I'm saying?

and her brother worked at the barbershop.

So she knew already.

Right.

As soon as it happened.

You feel me?

And I'm like, what?

I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

She's like, I'm so sorry about him.

I'm like, what?

I got mad.

I ain't even say nothing.

I didn't like respond back to her nothing.

And then right after that, I get a call from one of my homies.

Like, yeah, look, Ray just got shot in a barbershop.

And it's like, I just lost it.

I got up.

And

I started praying.

I hit my knees.

I started praying.

Like, please, please, please just let him pull through this shit.

Like, pretty, please.

You feel what I'm saying?

And at that moment, I couldn't think straight.

Like, the only thing I could do is get on a plane to Chicago.

Like, I got on the plane.

Like, I had to.

Like, I didn't even feel right being in L.A.

And, you know, he just passed away.

So it's like,

I had to, like,

like, really, it was just all I felt was like anger.

Like, I wanted to do something, like, retaliate.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like, me being who I am, G.

Herbo, a star, really went to Chicago and just like, I lost my mind for real, because like

him, he ain't never like,

that wasn't him.

You feel what I'm saying?

Like, don't get me wrong, yeah, he's a street dude.

He was in the streets with us, but that just wasn't him.

And I really felt like

somebody did that to him to hurt me.

Like, that was the whole thing.

And I said it a lot.

And, you know, it's so crazy.

His grandma, who I call my grandma, like, that's my grandma.

I still talk to her as much as possible.

I go see whatever she needs.

Like, that's really, I'm, to his family, I'm the closest thing to him, like, that they even have.

You feel what I'm saying?

And, you know, his kids is my god kid.

So it's like, that's my real deal family.

I lived with them.

I'm, I lived in their house when I ain't had nothing.

Um,

it's like, I felt like

I was responsible for his death for a long time, and it happened in 2021.

And I, I didn't even, I used to drink at all.

Like, I ain't used to drink

for sure.

Like, I didn't drink, I wasn't even, I was just like, nigga, just smoke, get hot.

Like, I don't know.

Yeah, me either.

But we make it up a lot.

Like,

I was one of them guys who, like, I drink once a year, twice a year, maybe.

You feel what I'm saying?

And

one cup would get me drunk.

It's our third cup right now.

You feel me?

I ain't no rookie no more, but I'm saying that to say, like,

and

I don't know, I don't even, like, bro, I don't even care.

Like, I'm gonna just be honest.

Like, when I went to Chicago, I went, like, on time.

And, like, I took a hoodie.

I had packed all type of crazy shit.

Yeah.

I was finna go to Chicago.

I'm just, like, f.

I was ready to throw my life away.

You leave up with the homie.

I was ready to throw my life away for real.

I drove my track hawk to one of my man's crib in L.A., who I was in business with, and just talking to him.

And I had the suitcase in the back of my track hole, and we was upstairs talking.

And he like, man, you need a drink.

Gave me a drink.

I took it.

And I'm like a real, like, I don't believe in coincidence.

Like, I'm a real spiritual person.

When I'm in my head, I'm like, bro.

I can't believe I'm finna go back to Chicago.

That's when I know he was dead.

That's when I found out he was dead already.

I'm like, bro, I'm finna go back to Chicago.

This shit, like, I really was ready to, like, just throw my life away.

I really didn't give a f for real when that shit happened.

I looked out the window.

I seen, like,

200 birds flying.

Like, just right out the window.

Like, it's a flock of birds.

So many birds.

I'm like, damn, man.

Lil bro was going to go to heaven.

Like, you feel me?

Like, in my head, I'm like.

Fuck it, man.

I ain't even finna go back and crash up.

Like, me seeing them birds go up in that track.

It just like it kind of calmed me down.

It gave you a sense of peace, didn't he?

Yeah, in a way.

Like, for real.

Even the first, like, literally, the very first, when it happened, I ain't even got on the plane yet.

I'm still, like, I took like three shots of Hennessy.

And I'm still, in my head, I'm still angry, of course, but I'm like, damn, I'm looking at these birds while I'm thinking about this shit.

Like,

damn, man.

You know, it just my head up.

Like, I ain't finna crash out.

But I get on the plane still.

And I left the whole suitcase this is how you know my mind racing i left the whole suitcase in my track hole i got in a black truck to the airport i didn't even grab the suitcase out of my bag i mean out of my car

and i get on the plane i go to sleep and i swear to god i had a dream that me him

and his baby his second baby mama he got two baby mamas me him and his second baby mama was just walking around the neighborhood going door to door like asking who killed him and he with me like me him and his baby mama just asking like yeah who killed bro but he right there with me asking who killed him you see what i'm saying it's like i don't know that shit my head up i get off the plane like damn i just had this crazy ass dream like i go straight to his grandma house and see her start crying hugging and shit i'm just like man

you ain't like you ain't got to worry about nothing like you feel i'm saying like yeah he gone but you got me i promise i'm always be there like you know what i'm saying i'm gonna be there for his kids like i took on that role and responsibility like no matter what, how big, how much my career is hectic, like, I'm going to always be there for his family.

You feel what I'm saying?

It's like, I can't do that if I crash out.

So it's like, I just took on that responsibility of

being the closest thing to him, you know, for his family.

And

I'm grateful for that.

I appreciate that when I hear that because that was somebody that I love unconditionally.

And I know his family love me.

And it's like,

I feel like when they tell me that, like, man, like, you the closest thing we have to him like we need you like these kids need you you so i'm saying so it's like i just took on that role and of course it a part of me is gone forever and i i feel like no matter what i do or how much success i get i never really could enjoy it for real because i always

here you feel what i'm saying like i was thinking about when i get 30 and 40, if I ever win a Grammy, just certain shit is like, it's not going to really feel right because I wanted to enjoy it with him.

And I always get them little thoughts and flashbacks in my head and stuff like that.

But it turned me into a different person, man.

I fell into alcoholism crazy.

Like, I was down in a whole fifth a day, like, by myself, literally, every single day.

Like, I'm glad you pulled out of that.

Yeah, I was stressed out.

I turned into a totally different person.

Like, and I just had, I just had my second son.

Like, I turned into, like,

man, it was, I don't know, I was just like a different person.

Like, I really felt like I couldn't be a father, like, the way I wanted to be.

Like, I was so stressed out and so depressed.

I didn't want to be home because I didn't want my girl to see me that weak.

Like, I was at my weakest and my lowest, so I used to have to be outside and ride around and go cry, go to clubs, and just do stupid ass shit just to get my mind off of what was what I was really thinking about for real.

But I definitely pulled out of it.

And one of the conversations that helped me was a conversation with his grandma and she told me the real she told me the ugly that I really didn't want to hear she like she really looked at me and said yeah

my grandson died because of you everybody really know that he got killed because somebody wanted to hurt me like oh yeah this is her best friend like finna do something to him right you feel me and

when she told me that she like because she seen me

just slipping through the cracks getting drunk at that she like you better not f ⁇ your wife up like all we got is you like you better make something of your life i know how much he loves you believed in you like i don't okay you we hurting you all hurting but it's like you're not gonna let him die for nothing you better be the best you could be and that shit really like man you snap out of it yeah this concludes the first half of my conversation part two is also posted and you can access it to whichever podcast platform you just listened to part one on just simply go back to club cheche profile and i'll see you there hey it's bobby from the bobby bone show i had an incredible time at this year's iHeartRadio Music Festival and even got the chance to hang out with Diplo and Bailey Zimmerman while I was there.

How did Ashes come together, Diplo?

I pulled up real quick.

He was about to leave on tour.

You're about to jump in your tour bus, and we had like three hours.

It was really cool.

He literally just like randomly showed up to my house.

I'm like, oh, hey, Diplo, what are you doing?

He's like, I have a song that I want to show you.

And I was like, okay.

You can listen to the full episode out now, wherever you get your podcast.

And big shout out to my friends at Hyundai for making this possible.

At a blast, cruising around the festival weekend in the all-new Palisade Hybrid.

This is Colin Coward from the Colin Coward podcast.

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