2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews

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All is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hello, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
Sorry, we just ate and there was a little gurgle there and I really apologize. And if you didn't notice it, now everyone's rewinding so that they can hear it.
Why am I talking? Can I start over again? No, I think we nailed it. Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
I'm Sonam Obsessian. And I'm Matt Gourley.
And you're Matt Gourley. Well, you pointed at me, but at the same time you took took a breath like you were going to speak.
That was very confusing. Yes.
And then I don't do this usually. But, you know, Conan is not here, in case anyone has noticed.
It's me talking. I'm Sona.
I am not Conan. And the reason that he's not here— I've never done this before, but shut up.
The reason Conan is not here is he's back east with his family. He unfortunately lost both his parents not that long ago.
So he's taking some time away. So Matt and I are holding the fort.
Holding the fort is strong. Yeah.
I think opening the fort to invaders. Yes.
I really need him to be here just to make this easier and more smooth. But I kind of like the vibe.
I do too. It's easy going.
There's just the five of us here. Adam's with us and Eduardo and Blay.
And we're just eating pizza and we're just hanging out. So last week we did a collection of notable clips from our segments and intros.
It was just you, me, and Conan. Yeah.
This week we're doing some notable clips that kind of came to mind from so many wonderful moments this year of the celebrity interviews. And I mean, yeah, we're starting off with a big one.
What the listener won't know is that we retook this part. Yeah.
And first time we did it you said banger okay and since conan wasn't here i felt the need to point out your hard g yes and i responded by saying you don't have to that you don't you're right you don't have to try to fill those gigantic shoes and i think that would be jude of me to that. Yeah, and then you made a joke about later on listening to a clip from Walton Jodgens, and that didn't make sense.
It does make sense. How does it make sense? I said Bang-ger.
It would be Gawkins. I'm pretending that there's no such thing as a hard G, that everything's a soft G.
Okay, so I'm going to channel Conan and be like, it's good that you have to explain what your joke is.

We're starting with a banger.

You're French and you still got

the hard G in there?

I did.

Banger.

Banger.

Banger.

Banger.

Banger.

Banger.

Banger.

Banger.

Banger.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

Okay.

Here's the clip.

Al Pacino.

Let's listen. You know, it's interesting because you're grabbed by the theater.
You're this kid, as I said, who you start reading Chekhov. You start reading the classics and it grabs you.
You start seeing some productions. You get into theater.
You have so many go-nowhere jobs just to stay alive. I mean, you're delivering papers.
You're building superintendent for a while, but not a good one, I don't think. Never, never.
The guy came out and started talking about me a few years back. Yeah.
Saying he was a terrible super or something like that. And I thought, why? Why would he say that? Yeah.
Who's a terrible super? I'm sure there's a lot around. I mean, you know.
No, I saw that. There's a really old man who was like, I remember him.
He was a terrible super. And I'm like, okay, take his Oscar back.
I know.

Fine actor, terrible super.

Christopher Walken, bad mechanic.

Robert De Niro, just an awful substitute teacher.

You know, it's like, what the fuck?

What are you talking about?

These are... So you come along, you're doing theater,

and then this thing that people dream about happens, which is you get noticed. Francis Ford Coppola is going to make The Godfather, and he says, I want this guy, Al Pacino.
And the studio says, fuck you. Of course.
We want Robert Redford. We want, you know, we want, we want, you know, we want Robert Redford we want you know we want we want you know we want someone who's been a success we want someone who looks a certain way we want someone probably blonde hair blue eyed whatever sorry yeah exactly I'm looking at you when I say it I'm sorry they wanted me actually me, actually.
You know, my grandmother. I was eight at the time.
Yeah. My grandmother on my mother's side has blonde hair, blue eyes.
So just to note that. Yeah.
It's in there. It's in you somewhere.
Yeah, it is. But what I'm saying is.
I had to put it in. They don't want you, but, and they, I've seen the screen test where they're saying, okay, well jimmy khan is michael colin how about they're trying everybody they're throwing everybody in there you but francis for coppola sticks with you they start shooting and you can tell you read in the book and it's riveting on the set people are like i don't know about this guy i don't know about this guy what.
And you can feel it. Yeah, well, they were giggling.
You heard giggling. Yes.
So here's what's amazing to me. These scenes that I've watched and that everyone's watched in this room 100,000 times that are now iconic masterclasses in how you play a character, you're doing it.
And people are going, oh, man man let's hope they get a real actor in here soon which is unbelievable to me was it that severe i was an eight-year-old kid but i was there and i had a lot of pull with the studio i called paramount and i was like i don't think he's got it. Who is this? Eight year old Conan O'Brien.
What are you? It'll be a big deal someday, you'll see. Why aren't you using a real phone? Why are you mining one with your hands? Oh my God.
It's funny. But no, and the thing is, which is to me, I look at that performance and as you say in the book your concept which was clearly the right one which is you gotta slowly see michael come to this position and then there's the iconic scene where they're all trying to figure out after veto has been shot what to do and you are sitting there with your broken jaw and you say okay we arrange meeting and the camera's pushing in i can't watch that and i can't talk about it without tingling because i think it is a beautiful way to tell a story through acting but it takes patience and the studio was saying well they wanted to see something else i guess and uh both both Francis and I, I think, felt that way about it.
But we were unable, or at least I was unable to articulate what I was doing. But I was doing that.
I thought about it on my long walks in Manhattan. You talk about it, you would take long walks, you'd get the film, but it hasn't started shooting yet, you took long walks.
Yeah, I would go all the way from 91st to the Village and back, 91st and Broadway, and I'd just think about the part. Think about it.
I still do that with roles. I just think about them, and it's fun.
It gets me through the walk. Yeah.
I'm glad to know that in coming up with who Michael Corleone was,

you got your steps in.

Yeah, there it is.

I managed not to get hit by a car.

In those days.

They should make a Fitbit that tells you,

you have achieved the character.

10,000 steps.

Stop walking.

Stop.

Stop now. You've nailed Michael Corleone You've got it Oh my god Did you hear I said wow Along with myself In the exact same time Yeah you did Yeah I think I saw that And also I love that It just cussed you Just so you could say Wow I know What a dork But I don't mind Because we're in the room with fucking Al Pacino.
I know. Can you believe that we get to do that? Conan's used to this.
You and I, we don't, I mean, I guess you got to being his assistant all those years. Not Al Pacino.
And also not in this kind of like atmosphere. And you could, I mean, I can tell just from looking at that clip how I was feeling.
And I was like, just don't say anything. Don't move.
Don't do anything dumb. It was amazing because he's so nice.
I know. And I was obsessed with The Godfather.
One of the first movies I saw was The Godfather 2. I begged my mom to watch it at a very young age.
Like three? It's one of my earliest memories of movies. Really? Yeah.
And it's a three-hour movie. I know.
I can't believe that was like, you watched it early on. I would never, I don't know.
I was watching like Goonies. What a treat to be in the room with that guy.
I know. That was really cool.
Sitting across from Michael Corleone. Yeah.
Amazing. I know.
And then this next guy's no slouch either. Yes.
Thanks for going along. You know what? Yeah.

Tom Hanks is next.

And I was walking by and he was just standing in the hallway and somebody introduced me.

I think it was Paula who introduced me to him.

And then he said, what's the first car you ever drove and what's the car you're driving now?

And it was just such a like, I'm sure that's a question he asks a lot of people just to like. He just had that ready to go?

He had that ready to go.

And it was so, it was so cool, but also made me reflect that my first car was like a broken down jetta and now i drive a minivan so it's like which is my evolution you seem like a jetta girl oh i was i had three jettas before yeah i had i was a jetta girl for sure yeah is that a that a compliment? Yeah. Okay.
Let's take... Did you just read the description? Because I did too.
Yes, and I think I remember what I say in this. So let's roll it.
You scared the hell out of me. I was on a bike with a friend of mine.
We won into the exact but uh on a taking a bike ride with a good friend of mine brad and we're going up here yeah maybe and brad paisley uh and uh suddenly this this car like a kind of a jeep suv thing And all of a sudden the window comes down and you lean out the window and start yelling at me. I did it, yelled at you.
And you start doing some bit, which was really funny, doing a bit. And then my friend is like, that was Thomas.
It happens all the time. But you know what? It was like laughing.
Like your head just came out of a- Yeah, knock, knock. Yeah, Or it was like Batman when he was climbing up the side of a building and suddenly a window would open and it's, you know- It's Jerry Lewis.
It's Jerry Lewis. It's Tom Hanks.
I thought, I live the most amazing life where a darkened window can come down and a goofy Tom Hanks can pop out and yell at me when I'm on a bike. But think about everybody else.
Because on that, there's a lot of people that come there to walk that, you know, it's a long line, and they're all kind of like bicycle weenie geeks, you know, guys with $6,000 mountain bikes saying, on your left, you know, as they're going up and coming down. But they're going to see you.
I mean, you're as tall as Big Bird, for crying out loud. And they're going to say, I believe I saw Conan O'Brien struggling up the hill.
Have you heard that halfway up that ridge, there's this place that apparently in the late 30s, you probably know about. Absolutely true.
In the late 30s, some people who were pro Hitler and pro what the Nazis were doing. So Nazis.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay, go ahead. As a lay historian, I'll come in and get the record straight.
There were members of the party. There were people who were sympathetic to that cause in the late 30s before America was in the war.
And they purchased a piece of land. Am I correct? You are correct, sir.
That they thought would be a place that the Fuhrer would like to hang when and if he comes to America, maybe because he conquered it.

I don't know the whole story.

Do you know the story?

It was owned by the German Bund.

And there was a period of time, a German Bund, the Bund was essentially, hey, we're all Germans.

We all live America.

Let's form a fraternal organizations.

I'm going to hope that before they found out just how bad Hitler was, you know, but there, I swear, I have seen photographs of like a 4th of July in the 1930s up there with the fireworks thing. And they would have, no lie, a picture of the founding fathers and a picture of Adolf Hitler, an American flag and a Nazi flag, the German Nazi flag.
And they were saying our country is coming back, et cetera, et cetera. And I just hope that maybe you can get away with that in 1930, you know, but it continued along.
And in fact, it is now a scout camp or it had been for a while. And I have gone there to scout a location.
And there was like the main lodge, you know, there's tents and stuff like that. But there is a main lodge that honestly looks like, you know, a German Alpine chalet.

Yeah.

That all you have to do is paint it red put a couple of hock and cruisers on there and you are right back in naziville usa so this is a place that in our neighborhood you go up this there's this big hill and and did i say jerry lewis also lived in this neighborhood and why did you choose to live here sir listen we have these meetings that are none of your business no but this is my story which is that they the that was something i've always heard and then occasionally you'll you'll find that it mentioned that this piece of land lives and that maybe and some people get the story get, they get it wrong and they think that Hitler spent time there like in his board shorts looking out at the Pacific. He did come out for pilot season one.
And he needed a place to stay. Six pilots, didn't get one of them.
Not a one. It was almost a seventh friend.
But anyway, but I'm with my friend once, my same friend, Brad, that you saw. I'm riding, grinding up that hill on our bikes to just try and get to this very steep in parts.
We're grinding along. And then we're these two women, like blonde, 22 i swear to god wearing like bikini tops very and they just looked like they were just come from a sorority party they flag us down like they were in trouble and i said what is it they went do you know where the hitler camp is there you go where's the hitler camp went, oh, ladies.
Well, all right. God, he's still pulling in the trim, that Addy Hitler.
Oh, my God. Jesus.
Still pulling in the trim? I know what? Jesus. Oh, wow.
Jesus, Matt. Wow.
Come on. Now, we are making light of a very, very dark period, without a doubt.
Yes.

So, yeah.

I mean, you don't want to say, why?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Come on up.

How do you get to Conan's house?

Oh, well, you've gone too far if you hit the Hitler camp.

Right.

Make a U-turn at the Hitler camp.

When you get to the Mussolini cul-de-sac.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Take a left.

Yeah.

Right.

No.

But yeah, that's up there. And yeah.
Yeah. I'm going to switch gears.
Let's see how you do this. And I want to talk about the Japanese and Jerry Lewis and 1944.
One other major thing that happened with Tom Hanks that we have to cover is that he was the second but no less significant A-list celebrity to look diagonally across this table from the chair I'm sitting in right now and tell Aaron Blair to shut the fuck up. That's right.
Blair, what did that feel like? It's, uh, well, I always try to interject. You have to shout, Blake.
And shut the fuck up. Now there's three A-list celebrities.
Can I just say a thing very quickly? It's kind of tough for Eduardo and I because we're back. We're out of the limelight.
I've been there a couple of times, I know. Except I am in direct eye contact with every celebrity.
Well, they're looking at me, really. Al Pacino.
Okay. You just might think they're looking at you.
Well, you know what? And they do look at you, but then sometimes they look over at me. They're probably looking at me still.
They look at you happily and they look at me like, what's happening over here? So whenever I say anything, it's always they immediately want me to shut up because they want to hear from you. No, I think there's something about you that makes people think that they could just immediately just be not shitty, but like joke around with you.
Like I'm saying you're back now and I'll take it. I know I am saying it as a compliment.
I don't think they feel comfortable saying shut the fuck up to just anybody. So there's something about.
Thank you. I got to stop.
I don't know. I'm trying to give him a compliment but to answer your question

it's incredible

that we get to interact

with these people at all

so the fact that

both Harrison Ford

and Tom Hanks

told me to shut the fuck up

amazing

truly

I mean life

life moments

but there has to be a third

life moments

well I think there probably will be

and who's it gonna be

we should all take

but will it happen organically

or will it be someone

that is aware of this

that was what I was gonna say

we don't think that

Tom Hanks was aware

No, I'd rather... will be and who's it going to be we should all take will it happen organically or will it be someone that is aware of this that was what i was gonna say we don't think that tom hanks was aware no it felt right it was just but it was such a like what are the odds that they would use the exact same words yes and the best part about when tom hanks did it is we all collectively celebrate that's why a third one is gonna blow the roof off this place what you're saying, though, about being in the island.
I am in Conan's direct eyeline throughout the whole entire interview. And I find the more esteemed the guest, this is a look behind the curtain here, the less he will look at the guest and the more he will talk to me, which makes me so because I have to do that fuel face where I'm fueling him with energy and admiration and laughs.
And it's not like it's not legitimate. It is, but I'm very conscious of, I've got to keep this guy going.
Here I go. And it's just a hell of a thing.
Now, see, I feel the same way about the celebrity and I overdid it, I think, with John Mayer because John Mayer at one point stops and he goes, man, you are really vibing with me right now. And I was like, oh, my God.
Oh, no. Like, am I screwed up? Like, you know, because I'm trying to exactly exactly the same thing.
It's it's it's like being under a microscope. And so I find myself after these podcasts sometimes drained, exhausted, exhausted.
You're kind of like an emotional cheerleader. Yes.
And not that, again, your cheeks hurt. I absolutely enjoy being here.
But there is it is kind of like a sending vibes or or just like giving somebody back good energy and uh yeah but yeah yeah i totally agree but life moments they were they are life highlight moments i'm anxious to see who's going to be number three we're going to see i am too we drink so much water every day And it's just water And I'm like Hello Boring Yeah There's gotta be a way to Make water more exciting Well guess what Someone cracked it With authentic flavors And lively carbonation Waterloo sparkling waters Bring full flavor Artistry Blay you're drinking one right now Drinking one right now I got the raspberry nectarine and it is tasty. Very good.
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Pretty recently I got together with a bunch of my chums. Yeah.
What did you guys do? Guys I went to college with. We all played football together.
Yeah. Don't laugh at that.
That's real. Sorry.
Yeah. It was one of those little table games of football.
It's actually a video game. It's simulated football.
And it was the 80s, so it wasn't a very good game. Anyway, it was a good time.
We got together. We had a good time.
It's really nice to get together with people. And I got to say, from game nights to parties with friends or special anniversaries, celebrating important occasions means more moments with the coolest people in your life.
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This next one was very special to us because Carol Burnett is an absolute legend. And we went to the Four Seasons Hotel

and got to talk to her there.

This is a very special story

about another absolute legend, Lucille Ball.

Both of these women were formative

in my youth for television

and everybody else, I'm sure.

But this was an incredible day.

I know.

This was one of those special days

where I was like,

I'm going to remember this forever.

Just being here talking to her. It's amazing.
I just, I don't know. Oh boy.
We better roll it. Someone's going to need to take a break.
I was wanting to ask you about Lucille Ball because, um, obviously growing up, uh, even though the show had long been gone, it was running constantly in reruns. I Love Lucy.
And that was the format for the modern sitcom that has endured for 50, 60 years. And I know that she was very kind to you.
She saw you as, hey, this kid has something. I like her.
How did she reach out to you? Well, I was doing the off-Broadway show called Once Upon a Mattress. And we had just opened the night before.
And the second night, there was a lot of buzz I could hear in the audience. And Lucy was in the audience the second night.
I remember I peeked through the curtain. I saw this big shock of red hair, and there she was.
I was more nervous that night than I was opening night the night before because she was in the audience. Anyway, it went okay, and I had this funky little dressing room off Broadway.
She knocked on the door after the show and came in, and I had this couch, and it had a spring coming up and she was gonna say i said look i see it is in my first rodeo yeah anyways we visited for about a half hour and she said she called me kid because she was 22 years older right she if you ever need if you ever need me for anything, give me a call.

So about four or five years later, I was doing,

I was going to, I did a few things,

and then CBS was going to give me a special,

a one-hour variety thing, if I could get a major guest star.

So the producer said, call Lucy.

And I said, oh, I don't want to bother her. He said, well, all she can do is say i'd love to but i can't i'm busy got her on the phone called her office she came up hey kids you're doing great what's happening i was just i said oh lucy i'm doing i'm i'm i know you're busy and she said when do you want me oh and? And we did the show together.
So then when I got my variety show, and then I did several guest appearances on her later shows. The Lucille Ball show and when she played Lucy Carmichael and all of that.
With Gail Gordon. Right.
Right. And then when I got my show, she came on.
So we kind of traded on and off. And so, oh, wow.
This one time, she's on my show, and we have a dinner break before the orchestra rehearsal. So she and I went over to the farmer's market to have a little, so we were in the Chinese there and she's knocking back a couple whiskey sours please tell me it's the morning it was a nighttime okay okay so at that time of course my husband joe hamilton was executive of producing our show and so she now was not with Desi.
She said, you know, kid, it's great that you got Joe, you know, to handle a lot of stuff for you because when I was married to the Cuban. Like he's a cigar.
He did everything. Desi did everything.
He took care of the scripts. he took care of the scripts he took care of the lighting

the camera work he's the one who invented the three cameras yes yeah yeah genius yeah yeah and

oh so she said when i came into the monday morning you know the table read everything was perfect

because he had seen to it and all i had to do is be crazy lucy you know fine so then we got a divorce

Thank you. morning you know the table read everything was perfect because he had seen to it and all i had to do is be crazy lucy you know fine so then we got a divorce now i'm gonna do the lucy karma whatever it was and i came in no desi and we read the script and she said it was awful kid it stank and she said and i thought oh god what am i gonna do desi's not here he did it she called for lunch and she said i she went back to the her office she said i've got to be strong yeah i've got to be i got to confront this the way desi would have got she, so I knew what I had to do.

Went back to the table read, and I told them in no uncertain terms how I felt about the script, how we had to fix it. She said, kid, and she took another little...
And that's when they put the S on the end of my last name. Now, she sent you, I think, flowers every day on your birthday.

On my birthday, and this one birthday,

I got up in the morning and turned on the Today Show,

and she had passed away on my birthday.

And that afternoon, I got flowers that said, birthday kid yeah so we we had a great bond legend that's amazing do you remember she came into that room and she there was probably 15 people in that room she shook everyone's hand asked for, and then after the interview was over, said goodbye to everybody pretty much by name. Like a total pro.
And also, there are moments when everybody's on their best behavior. Yeah.
You know, like we're all like dressed a little nicer. We're all not goofing off.
Usually a president of some kind. Yes.
And yeah, we had the same amount of gravitas towards her as we would a president, a first lady. All right.
This next one is Misi Nash with a very funny story. I've always heard it was your idea to put on the prosthetic fake booty.
Is that true? That's a fact. Because you know why? Because the women in my family, I did not see them on TV.
You know what I mean? Now you could buy a butt on every corner. You know what I mean? You can buy one on every corner.
But then it wasn't popular to have all of the, you know what I mean? And I went to so many booty fittings, like you don't even understand. And they couldn't get it right because they were building it straight back.
So I went to my girlfriend and I brought her up there who had, you know, the natural slamma jamma. And I'm like, you see, you got to start from the hips and wrap it around.
So I got the booty right. It was really.
I love that you brought your friend in. What was your friend's name? I don't know if I should say it.
Okay. You just mean it's a compliment.
What am I saying to your friend? Hey, come on over here. I need your ass.
I need your ass. Get your ass over here.
Literally. Get your ass over here.
Literally. And you know, let me tell you something.
That friend of mine, true story, her butt and my up top was how we got to look Prince right in the face. We didn't have tickets to this Grammy party he was at.
And so we went around the side and there

was a security guard. I said, girl, you know what to do.
She started walking backwards. I started walking forwards.
I was like, come on. And we walked over there.
So he let us in the back door. So we get in the party and then we lied and said that I'm always lying to get a job, right? we lied and said she was Prince's cousin

and so

we go the purple one was behind his door. So we knock, we walk up to security like, yeah, we need to get in there.
She's like, I'm his cousin. I'm like, yeah, she's his cousin.
And he looked at us up and down. He said, one minute.
He closes the door and goes. The door opens.
It is Prince. He looked at us.
And before we could take a breath, he said, nice try. And closed the door in our face.
I said, but we got to see him. He said, nice try to us.
That is so cool. And I don't even know what that had to do with the booty, but the point is, it was that same girl's butt.
She walked backwards to get in. She walked backwards to get in.
But her butt. That's how she got everything in life.
She walked backwards. We denied his card.
Oh yeah? Check this out. The card works.
Conan's so jealous right now. Okay, let's talk about this.
I have famously, I have no ass. There's just nothing back there.
It's a straight drop. And I'm thinking I should get a prosthetic.
Is there something they make for men now? Yeah, but make sure it's done right. You should bring a friend in who has the right butt, and then have them do it.
Ding, ding, ding. I don't know.
I don't know what the right butt looks like. You want should come and I should say, I want this.
But the point I was making is that that butt wasn't popular back then. That body type, not even the butt, just the body type, you know, and I wanted to be somebody that my aunties could look at and see themselves.
And so I was like, I want to look like the women in my family. And I have to tell you, so many men met me in life after and were so disappointed that I didn't have the thing on.
They were like, you lost weight. I'm like, no.
I can go get it. It's in the back of the car.
Yeah, basically. Just keep it with me at all times.
You could borrow hers. Well, don't they make something for men? No, I'm just saying, you could borrow the one she uses for Reno 911.
All right, maybe I can, do you have a name for it? You nicknamed it? I did not. But, you know, my prosthetic one, like I have one that I will wear under the uniform.

But the prosthetic one that I wore with the thong bathing suit, that one, somebody stole it.

You bet they did.

It was in a temperature control locker somewhere.

If I knew where that was, I'd grab it.

Take it on vacation.

What are you going to do with it?

I don't want to talk about what I'm going to do to it. That's my business.
You're invading my privacy right now. I buy two airline tickets and the prosthetic ass is in the other one.
And we both have a glass of champagne. Oh, my God.

Can I tell you,

I love Niecy Nash

and I love Reno 911

and I had no idea

that was a fake butt

until that conversation.

And between that

and Conan's story

about Prince,

which he's told

a few times on the show

right before he went on stage,

the more I hear

about that little guy.

That little guy?

Well, he's very little.

He is, I know.

He's just a mischief maker.

That's weird. times on the show right before he went on stage.
The more I hear about that little guy. That little guy? He's very little.
He is, I know. He's just a mischief maker.
Someone just told me a story that he was at a huge gala party, just as a guest, stood up on a table and hopped from table to table to table to the exit as if it was just all happening spontaneously. But then if you did any further looking down, you saw all of his people were prepared with their hands clasped together to be his little bridge from table to table to table.
So he talked about it before. With them.
This had been planned, but it was all made to seem spontaneous. That's insane.
This is also coming like third, fourth degree. Who knows if it's true, but you print the legend.
Oh man, that's awesome. loved when nisi nash was here because i've always loved loved reno 911 and just she was just like she had that energy the whole time you really missed out it was so much fun you really really missed out do you ever yes i hate missing recordings i do too i missed billy crystal john stewart because I had to go back and see my family.
And you just, you know, you curse your family. Do you? I really don't have much going on besides this.
So I just, I really don't miss very many, but I have missed a couple. And I always have big time FOMO.
There was one, I remember. I was just like, I wish I was here for that.
Yeah, you're almost always here. I don't have a ton of FOMO in my life.
If anything, I have a fear of not missing out. Of not? A fear of being included.
Oh. A fobge? Yes, that's the one.
Fobby. Where did the J come from? It's a soft G.
So, well, I did not miss this next one,

which I am very glad for because this was a really funny guest

and a really funny story.

I have to say,

when we find out who gets booked on this show,

there's an email sent to all of us

just being like,

this person got booked on this day.

And it's very rare for me to respond

and just be like,

I'm really excited,

even though I am.

But this one,

I replied to everybody on the email, including, I think, probably SiriusXM employees and like a lot of other executives who don't care about my opinion. The guest himself.
And I was just like, I cannot wait for this episode. I think you said something like little baby Billy.
No, that wasn't me. I I forgot what I said.
I can't remember, but I feel like you said little baby Billy. I don't know.
Yeah, but then everybody else started responding. It's like every single person was excited about this.
You responded, when I saw this booking, I gasped. That's right.
That's right. That's what I said.
So this is Walton Goggins. Anticlimactic.
You've played so many great characters, but in The Righteous Gemstones, I feel like the minute I started watching that show and then you showed up. And I remember not knowing you were going to be in the show for some reason.
And the minute you show up, I thought, you can't do The Righteous Gemstones without Walton Goggins. You have to have him.
Did I tell you this story about David Gordon Green was directing that episode? And the very first time you meet Baby Billy, he's in a bathtub. Oh, I know this.
He's in a hot tub. Yeah, yeah.
Hot tub, bathtub outside looking out at his land, looking out over his empire.

And at some point in the scene, he stands up and he's fully naked. And the viewer sees.
The viewer sees everything. And then he turns around, he puts on his bathrobe and then steps out of the bathtub.
Well, they called in a body double to do that who was 76, 78 years old, something like that, to be in the tub, right? And they flew him in from Chicago. And I'm like, how did you, what's the audition process? You couldn't find him in South Carolina? Really, you had to go to Chicago? So he comes in and I meet him.
You had to go to Chicago to find a dick? Yeah. This guy's top of his game.
You have to understand. Top of his game.
The toxic guy. And I met him on that day and he was dressed like me, kind of looked like me.
And I'm thinking like, who are you? He said, I'm you. I'm your body dub.
I'm standing in for you. And it's like, oh, okay.
Cut to the show comes out. There it is.
And I get a phone call from this friend of mine who says,

Oh my God, baby Billy Freeman. I just, I, I, I can't stand it.
I love it so much.

And can I just say how good your body looks? And I said, what the fuck are you talking about?

He's 76 years old. You think that's my fucking body? True story.
I did wonder. Because the penis is right there.
Penis is right there. In high definition.
Yeah, that's right. Beautifully lit.
I mean, it's a nice penis. But it's definitely a Chicago penis.

It's a Chicago penis.

You can tell.

And you know what?

South side.

Deep dish.

That's a south side penis.

Deep dish.

Deep dish south side.

That's a White Sox penis.

That's not a Cub's penis.

It does not have a southern accent.

Yeah.

Oh, very, very Yankee.

What's going on here?

What are we doing here down south?

Penis, shut up. You're ruining it.
I just got out of a hot tub. Yeah.
Gotta get a sausage. Oh, I love him.
Did you watch Vice Principals? Yes, definitely. Can I just say a thing where I, like you said, I love Walton Goggins.
He's one of my favorite people. And sometimes when celebrities get here, I get to just say a few words to them as they come up the stairs.
And I had to tell Walton Goggins this. He comes up.
He's very nice. I shake his hand.
And we're talking for a second. And I go, you know, I have to say, you have a gin, right? He goes, well, yes, I do.
And I was like, my old boss and I, Dan Ferguson, got very drunk one night on your gin and it was delicious. And he put his hand on my chest and goes, well, then may I just say you are welcome for your inebriation.
Oh, my God. It's like a blessing.
You've been baptized in the spirits of Martin Goggins. The most charming man ever.
Just dripping with charm. Just dripping.
Yeah, I love him. Yeah.
I think I love every single role he's in. And if I hear he's in something, I will watch it.
He's one of those actors. Yeah.
It's true. Yeah.
That's why I watched Fallout, even though I never knew anything about the video game. I watched the show.
And he's very serious in that, right? He has like barely a face. Yeah.
Right? What's wrong with him? He's not totally serious, but he's the villain. Yeah.
He's the antagonist. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But if you haven't watched it, you should. It's really good.
Okay. Yeah.
Oh, man. I do a lot of traveling.
Yeah, you do. You know that I do the travel shows.
Nothing quite like the feeling of an upgrade when you're traveling. Well, as a T-Mobile customer, you can take the perks with you.
That's good. Isn't that nice? It starts the moments you take off with free in-flight Wi-Fi, so you can stream your favorite show on the go.
Obviously, that would be this show, I would think. Yeah.
You go in a plane and then you stream your podcast? If I'm anxious about a flight, the thing that calms me is seeing myself. And then when you land, T-Mobile's got you covered with 15% off all Hilton brands.
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I like to know that when I land in that other country, I'm covered. I'm there.
I can text you and say, hey, I got here safely. I forgot to feed my cat.
Could you feed my cat? You could remind me I don't have a cat. It's all good stuff.
Yeah, you FaceTimed me before from another country and it was crisp. She was clear.
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This message is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know, a lot of people say therapy costs a lot of money.
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H-E-L-P dot com slash Conan. Well, next up are two of the most lovable people that you'll have on this show.
I think Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Yeah.
In a very special circumstance. I think it gets explained in the clip probably, but what a way to kick off this episode.
I know we were all waiting for Woody to get here and he explains it in this clip, right? I mean, that's what the clip is. Yeah.
But I think anybody, even Woody probably would say it's probably not uncommon to sit and wait around for Woody Harrelson because he lives on a different clock, time zone, planet, or whatever. But this was a very special reason.
Yeah. Let's watch.
I think we should address the elephant in the room. Woody, we started a little bit later than we thought because you had a bit of a tumble.
Is it fair to call it a tumble? I think a tumble's a fair term. go over my handlebars you went over the handlebars i was honestly uh and embarrassingly i was passing this tesla on the left that i felt was moving a little slow but i didn't realize he was moving slow because he's taking a left yes and you were.
On a motorcycle. Yes, and is that your primary way of getting around a motorcycle? Well, I always feel like the shortest distance between two lines, between two points in L.A.
is a motorcycle. So I do tend to take it, but today it proved not to be so very fast in terms of transporting.
We lost some time while people were figuring out, are you alive? Your soul had to reenter your body. Yeah.
Did you think for a second when you were going over the hood of the Tesla, this is going to be a huge problem, or did you, the whole time, were you thinking, I'm all right? No, I always thought I'd be okay. I just felt like there was some pain involved.
I felt the pain, but I never thought I'd be, you know, killed or anything. Okay.
Or maimed. Your hand is wrapped up like someone in a cartoon.
That's because I wrapped it. You did a great time.
Is this true? I wrapped it and I thought it looked funnier that way. So let me get this straight.
All of your first aid training is helping people in a way that will look funny. Yeah.
It's not going to help him not get infected or anything like that. You didn't set the bones in the proper way.
You set them in the funny way. Funny way.
Okay. And we're in the bathroom and I'm like, you played a doctor, right? And he says, yeah, I also played a lawyer so we can sue the guy.
I said, well, I think it's going to have to be a lawyer for the defense. Sure, not as good with that.
Sorry. So this is fascinating just to be behind the scenes and know that you guys are both icons.
You're on the way to do the podcast with your friend ted danson you uh wipe out on the motorcycle you hit a tesla you get it together you come here you need medical attention so ted danson is the one that helps clean the wound and wrap you yes why haven't we called a real doctor at any point i take ted dans doctor. Thank you.
Thank you very much. By the way, his confidence, his demeanor, everything about the way he does it is you feel like, yes, I'm in the best hands.
Never doubt it. I did kind of have that.
I was choking back tears, but I was efficient. First of all, I'm very happy that you're okay.
Me too. kind of weird when he asked me to disrobe but i'm gonna it's for hygienic purposes it's for hygienic and also tax purposes um so uh do you wear what kind of protection do you wear when you whoa whoa whoa we're not doing that protection the other protection are you armored in armored in any way? Are you wearing a helmet? I did.
I was wearing a helmet. Okay.
Yes. And so, it actually did help me because I did hit my head, but the helmet, so no problem.
Okay, good. What are you at? This makes me sad, buddy.
Really? Yeah, yeah. Don't be sad.
I am. I'm sad.
Sad and why sad? Well, I could have been hurt badly. Badly.
It makes me sad. Does it inform what you might do in the future? Might you? No, that's out of the question, I'm sure.
It should. It certainly should.
Yeah. But this is how you are, right? You living life on the edge? Yeah, maybe.
Maybe. Yeah, right.
In in other words maybe i should just slow down in life and just take it a little hey you're doing great you skinned your hand man up sorry i'm switched i'm switched you just switched i had my sorry literally 15 seconds ago you said i'm so sad i'm so sad my friend and I'm so sad. And then you're telling him to shut the fuck up.
Right. My sadness didn't play in the room.
You thought about me going slower. My sadness didn't play in the room.
That is such a sick thing to say. Such a sick thing to say.
Oh, wow. We're here in the ward with the terminally ill children.

Hope you guys feel better soon.

Tough break.

Hey, that didn't play so well. Let me try something else.

Hey, Timmy, how long you got?

Jesus Christ, Ted.

I know what you mean, though, Woody.

There's something about Ted.

Every time I've talked to him, see him out in the world,

I'm immediately, I just get this calm. You have a very calming presence.
And I don't, yes, is some of it maybe related to the fact that you are so ubiquitous and well-known? Yes. But do other people say that? You just, you'd be like an amazing therapist.
You know, I'm doing these moderate to severe plaque psoriasis commercials, which I think tells you all you need to know that under this—I am, by the way. You can calm other people, but there's no calmness in the interior.
Now, do you suffer from this malady, or is the money just too much to turn down? I live on the edge of fear basically yes i remember you sitting me down once on during cheers and i think i was about to get divorced or something he said teddy why are you so fearful stuck in my head all the time and that's what i find amazing you may have fear and all of that but you take such big chunks out of life and i love that. yourself apparently i lost a chunk and larchmont um is this on camera by the way you we i think we're going to see this it's comical um that's the thing one of the three stooges would put on their heads does anyone have an ice pack i haven't seen an ice pack like that in 50 years Good idea, though.
Does it look cool? Oh, yeah.

It looks really cool. What you can't see is, didn't he also have his leg propped up? And listeners can go to the Team Coco YouTube channel and see these clips, because often the clips themselves are longer as well than what you're hearing today.
But this one, because also they're drinking large glasses of watermelon juice. Yes.
Or like strawberry agua fresca or something. It's just quite a sight.
It's watermelon juice. They get it for every recording they do of their podcast so that, you know, they do a podcast here where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes is the title.
And yeah, they get these watermelon juices. But they both like watermelon juice? I think that's adorable.

One of them

turned the other one

on to it

and then they get

and that was a must.

I bet Woody turned Ted on.

Yes.

I think that's right.

But I will say

that they have this

like odd couple dynamic

that is really special

and there's just like

they just love each other

like brothers.

Yeah.

And it's a good plug

for the other podcast

because the other

if you like them together

and I can't imagine

anyone doesn't

the other podcast

is really, really great.

Do you ever

after we leave

are you like

Thank you. It's a good plug for the other podcast because the other if you like them together and I can't imagine anyone doesn't.
The other podcast is really, really great. Do you ever after we leave? Are you like, I want to be friends with you so bad.
Yeah, I feel every once in a while someone will come in and they'll leave and I'll be like, we could be we could have such a good friendship together. I thought about that with Mila Kunis.
I've thought about that with a few other people. But Mila Kunis jumps out because I feel like we really bonded when she came on here.
But with them, I really just would love to just go to dinner parties with them and just be friends. You know, Woody invited our team.
A handful of us went to his dispensary when the show launched. Oh, really? Oh my God, I gotta go.
One of my favorite memories of that night was apparently what he really loves magic and so he had magician bartenders so you'd order a drink and they'd be like and then it would like appear or whatever and it was really cool except as the night goes on and an open bar you kind of just want your drink and so you're like cool that's great. And you flip in the bottle around and then fire and oh my God.
And you're like, cool, that's oh man, okay. Oh great.
Oh, that's so cool. Oh man, okay, cool.
Thank you for the drink. So we ended up ordering like several at once just so you could kind of.
So he's not doing those Now You See Me movies for a paycheck. It's out of love.
I honestly, I feel like it's a passion. It was one of the coolest nights.
And that dispensary is, it's got a whole big garden in the back. It's beautiful.
We should do a field trip. We should move our studio to that dispensary and just start recording there.
Alright, well, we're going to close this out with the Larry David clip that, man, this whole interview is one of the funniest we've had. Yeah.
And this moment is a very Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David moment. Very much.
You're just like, this would be a plot point in Curb. You know, people ask me all the time, they say to me, Conan, you know everyone in the business.
And I say, thank you. And then they say, Larry David, is he exactly like he is on Curb Your Enthusiasm? And I say, yes, he is.
You are exactly like that guy. You would claim that you're not quite that guy.
But the times I've hung out with you at parties, I feel there might as well be a camera this for hbo oh you are the same guy you know i take that as a tremendous compliment yes because because i gotta tell you something i love that guy that guy oh my god i am so in love with that guy. Yeah, really.
He's he's he's my hero. Yeah, he should be.
Yeah. It must be nice, though, because you've carved that out for yourself.
And then if people encounter you in real life, you don't have to in any way contort yourself to please them. Yes.
You can tell them, I don't feel like taking a selfie. It's not really what I want to do right now.
And they they're they love they must love and they laugh and they laugh. Except a couple of weeks ago, I got invited to a dinner party.
And, you know, 10, five, 10 years ago, I would have gone. OK, yeah, OK, sounds good.
What's the address? And now this time I said, who's coming? Oh, yeah. Did not go over well.
The person was offended. The person seemed to have been a little offended.
And I wound up not going.

So there you go.

So there you go.

So I did.

I tried to be Larry and it didn't work.

But by the way, as long as we're on the subject, is it such a terrible question to ask who's going to?

Why is it such a secret?

Why is that a secret?

I don't understand.

I don't understand the big secret.

You can't say who's going.

Why?

I don't get it.

Yes.

I think that's, I think you're right.

I think you are within your rights to ask who's going. Thank you.

Thank you.

Because you want to find out.

Also, I'm imagining you have enemies. And you wanna make sure you're not walking into a party.
I just made four more as I walked into the building. But you wanna make sure, you wanna know.
Yeah, yeah, I wanna know. It's like a mobster who's going to a restaurant, wants to know how many ways are there in.

You know, if there's if I'm attacked, is there a way out?

You've got to know. Exactly.

Because a lot of times, honestly, you'll be invited to these dinner parties and you find yourself sitting next to some insurance salesman.

And, you know, you're there the whole two and a half hours sitting next to him or her, whatever.

Yeah.

It's not comfortable.

Let me ask you a question.

And I want you to be honest.

Yeah.

You came to my house not long ago.

You didn't know who was going to be there.

Were you pleased?

Were you not pleased?

And you can tell me.

Well.

Were there enough celebrities to make you comfortable?

Were there two, you know, did you feel that it was a good environment,

a good ecosystem for you?

I need like three comedians and i'm i'm fine right right do i count as a comedian oh conan conan oh conan you poor it's just sad don't do this to him come on yes con Thank you. Well, I wasn't sure.
You know, you seemed happy. You seemed pleased.
You know, comedians, comedy writers, you know, either one, whatever. But at one point, I noticed that you had retreated to a separate area and you were just observing.
You were eating your food and you were just observing other people. Well.
As were uh you know looking at birds you know you're doing little sketches and i wondered if that's normal behavior for you i'll tell you what i don't like sitting with a plate on my lap right okay right and i saw there was a counter there were stools in front of the counter and i I thought this would be a good spot to plant myself. And so I planted and it turned out to be a great spot because when

people come over, this is what I do at parties, by the way, I always sit. You can't be in the

middle of a room making small talk.

And then you're going, your brain is racing, you know.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm out.

I can't.

I got nothing.

I got nothing.

What?

The bathroom?

Do I have to go to the bathroom?

Do I have to get a drink? Or I know I'll do TV Larry. I'll do TV Larry.
All right. Well, it's been nice talking to you.
Yeah. And then and then you move on.
Right. I think people know now that you can't have interminable conversations.
They can't go on forever. There's got to be an out.

There's got to be an out.

You know what?

You're on a podcast right now.

How long is this going to go?

You may be done.

This is our special five-hour salute.

No, but it's not.

It's a special five-hour salute to Larry David.

But I think I have an idea for parties.

I have an idea for parties.

You have a party sheriff, okay?

Yeah. And he sits he's in a chair above the party.
He's overseeing the party. Like a lifeguard.
Like a lifeguard. Or he's in another room on video.
And he's got cameras on everybody. Like a pit boss.
Yeah. Like a pit boss.
And he's seeing the conversations. He's looking at them.
He's seeing how it's going. He's looking at the body language.
He's timing conversations. And then he sees that somebody's in trouble.
And he goes, okay, all right, I got to go. He goes down.
He takes the person by the arm. He goes, excuse me, this is over.
This is brilliant. This is brilliant.
I have to have this. I have to have this.
I mean, this is a great idea. It's brilliant.
It's fantastic. Thank you.
I love that idea. I think we've all been there.
He doesn't even pretend to take, hey, I need to talk to you about this. No, no, no.
Everybody's aware. Also, does he flash a badge? Yeah.
Does he put up a badge and say, this is over? This is over. Everybody's aware there's a sheriff.
There's somebody overseeing the party. By the way, I think I'd be a good one.
You'd be great. I'd like to volunteer.
I could do that job. We need a podcast sheriff.
Yeah, you could do that. I definitely could do that job.
A party, Sheriff, for sure. Oh, God.
I have to say, I happened to be at a party with Larry David last week. Doesn't happen often at all.
Maybe has never happened, really. And I did talk to him.
And I basically just went up to him and said how much fun we all had when he was here.

He was very, very kind

and said that

this was his favorite, I don't know

if he said favorite podcast or favorite talk

show he's ever done, which I believe when he

says because I don't think he would just say that

to be kind.

But the whole time in the back of my mind

I was conscious of making sure I

didn't talk too long.

I'm just going to say hi and then be done because i don't want the party sheriff to get me i mean what happens when you go too long with the actual part who's sheriff's the party sheriff that's a great question i think he would have just said like great talking to you yeah yeah time to go well the podcast sheriff has said it's time for us to wrap this up. Yep.
Yep. And we'll be back next time with Conan, right? That's right.
We'll be back with a regular episode next week. And like I said, you can go to the Team Coco YouTube channel to see all these clips in their full lengths.
And this has been a fun diversion. We're sorry for the circumstances and sending love to our boss.
Yes, we are sending aending a lot of love to all the O'Briens and the Reardens on the East Coast. It's all of Conan's whole family is out there.
Yeah, it's a really hard time, but also they lived very long, very beautiful lives, made a huge impact on everybody and made a huge impact in their fields and they're going to be missed. I mean, this is the end of the year too, really, isn't it? I know it's the holidays and everybody take it easy out there and enjoy yourselves and we'll start fresh next year with good attitudes.
Okay. Good attitude.
Cause we usually have bad attitudes or. I don't know.
Why are you questioning. I'm i'm sorry i was just it was an odd thing to say but yeah 20 2025 here we come happy holidays matt happy holidays soda you know you're like my sister you know what i you feel i feel like we have a brother sister relationship now yeah we've been doing this for a while and you're my favorite part of this podcast.
Oh, same here. You know what? Just like sitting across and looking at you whenever Conan says something silly.
Which is every three seconds. Which is all the time.
We're just like two kids in church just like making each other giggle. I don't know what I would do without you.
I wouldn't have made it this far without you. You would have been fine.
No way. No way.
You would have been okay. You're my rock.
Oh, well, that's nice. I'm quitting next week.
Okay. So am I then.
All right. And thank you to Adam, Eduardo, and Blay.
I know. You guys make this happen.
Literally, Adam, you make this happen. Yeah.
We have a good team. Yeah, we do.
Why do we need that other guy? I don't. We do.
Yeah, that's true. I don't want to sit in this chair again.
No, weird there's something about this chair that makes me uneasy like being over in the corner just like not saying anything that's right okay happy new year everybody new year Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes.
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick.
Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.
Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.

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