2024 Memorable Moments: Conan, Sona, and Matt

Speaker 1 Don't miss Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, premiering on Hulu, November 21st. Filmed live at the sold-out United Center Arena in Chicago.

Speaker 1 Sebastian's newest special features his larger-than-life presence, one-of-a-kind physical comedy, and hilarious everyday observations that will keep you laughing non-stop.

Speaker 1 Sebastian goes all in on family chaos, aging, non-existent manners, and life's most relatable and frustratingly funny moments.

Speaker 1 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, on November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundled subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 3 The LL Bean flannel has been part of the holiday for over a century. Cozy, reliable, and made to last.

Speaker 9 It's the shirt you wear when you pick out your tree and when you're home relaxing with a warm cup of cocoa.

Speaker 10 And it's the one you wore in the family photo where somehow everyone's matching without even trying.

Speaker 8 These shirts, these flannels from LL Bean have been around for a long time.

Speaker 9 Yeah, they have.

Speaker 7 They've been around from the olden days.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go churn some butter, but first, my LL Bean flannel. Oh no, President McKinney's been wounded.

Speaker 16 Anyway, these have been around a long time.

Speaker 6 They're great for the holidays. You gotta get them.

Speaker 18 Go check out LL Bean Flannel.

Speaker 20 Invited to the holidays since 1912.

Speaker 22 Fall is here, hear the yell.

Speaker 23 Back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk and loose, climb the fence, books and pens.

Speaker 15 I can tell that

Speaker 24 Hello, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

Speaker 25 That was very official sounding.

Speaker 26 I know.

Speaker 24 I was trying to do, I was trying to channel Conan, who is not here today.

Speaker 27 That's right. Sonoma Sessian has moved from second chair to first.

Speaker 28 I would move?

Speaker 29 Yes. You would move.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 24 No, no, no. If he left, which he is not here, you would take over as like the guy.

Speaker 14 No, yes, absolutely.

Speaker 23 Well, no, yes,

Speaker 23 okay.

Speaker 13 But anyway,

Speaker 24 Conan is not here because sadly, last week, his mom and his dad both passed away within days of each other. His dad, Dr.
Thomas O'Brien, was 95. Conan was actually shooting overseas for his Mac show.

Speaker 24 He came back to Brookline. And then while he was there, his mom, Ruth Reardon O'Brien, died at 92.
And today is actually her birthday.

Speaker 2 I didn't know that. No, you're kidding.

Speaker 24 Today is her birthday. And so you never got a chance to meet his parents.

Speaker 27 I never did, no.

Speaker 30 No.

Speaker 24 So, you know, I worked for him for a very long time and his parents were very impressive, very remarkable. people

Speaker 24 in in their fields they were celebrities in their own right his dad was a microbiologist he retired at 90 and i'm hoping conan will also retire at 90.

Speaker 24 really i think he's gone too far already you do yeah no i want to ride those coattails until the very end. Don't you?

Speaker 32 Yes, of course.

Speaker 24 Just like wheeling in a decrepit Conan

Speaker 30 into this studio.

Speaker 28 That is terrible.

Speaker 24 I'm so sorry. I'm like sweating because I have to talk about serious stuff.

Speaker 24 But yeah, his dad is a legend in his field. And his mother was actually one of the first graduates of Yale Law School.
And she became a partner at her law firm when she had five kids.

Speaker 34 And like the second female to do so, right?

Speaker 24 Second female to do so. I mean, she was practicing law when when there were like dining halls that women weren't allowed into.

Speaker 24 And so she would sit outside these dining halls and men would be inside and she'd be sitting on her own little table outside. And she was like a partner at the law firm.

Speaker 24 So it was like, they're just incredible people. It's a huge loss.
So Conan's with his family, all 800 of them.

Speaker 27 And he mentioned to us that he wanted us to do this and to set up the context as to why he's not here. Right.
And be transparent about it, that he's with his family.

Speaker 27 And so we've cobbled together some of our favorite moments of the last year. So this first episode will be from the intros and segments, which you, Conan, and I do together.

Speaker 27 And then next week, there'll be an episode of some of our favorite moments from the various guests that have been on the show in 2024.

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 24 I mean, I'm acting like I don't know what you're saying.

Speaker 24 We had a whole conversation before.

Speaker 27 Yeah, so why are you doing that?

Speaker 37 You're thrown by having to be serious on Serious XM.

Speaker 34 It's in the name.

Speaker 24 I know, I know, but it is a really sad thing. I mean, I've, you know, over the time working for Conan, I really got to know all of his family, all his siblings, his parents.

Speaker 24 They were always really nice. It's just a really hard thing to talk about.
And

Speaker 24 I think that it's beautiful that they passed away within days of each other. It really is.

Speaker 27 It's strikingly poignant.

Speaker 25 I know, I know.

Speaker 27 And like you said, I haven't met his parents. He wouldn't.

Speaker 5 allow that.

Speaker 28 But he kept you away.

Speaker 27 We have been thinking about him a ton. And I saw my extended family and everybody yesterday at my extended family.
People who he's never met. And he's met some of my extended family.

Speaker 27 It was like, please tell him I'm thinking about him. Anyway, we are thinking about you, boss.

Speaker 24 Yes. Yes, we are.
We are.

Speaker 24 It's a really hard time for him, but you know, he's still Conan. He made fun of me this morning.
So I think he's doing okay.

Speaker 27 I think his exact words were: the show must go on, but you guys have to do it.

Speaker 30 What a dick.

Speaker 24 We could still call him a dick.

Speaker 40 It doesn't change.

Speaker 24 Even though he's not here.

Speaker 27 No, none of this changes that he's still a dick.

Speaker 24 A grieving dick is still a dick.

Speaker 15 Exactly.

Speaker 24 Yeah. I think that that's okay.

Speaker 27 A grieving dick is still a dick.

Speaker 41 Wiser words. Yes.

Speaker 24 And that's why I'll be delivering the eulogies. Oh, my God.
What am I doing?

Speaker 24 Why can't I do this normal?

Speaker 14 You can.

Speaker 29 In the end, it'll sound fine.

Speaker 14 Okay. All right.
Okay.

Speaker 27 Okay. So let's move on to our first clip.
I think an all-timer, not just for 2021.

Speaker 24 Oh my god, this is one of my favorite things that ever happened to you.

Speaker 32 I agree.

Speaker 27 It's Conan makes a stranger take a selfie with him.

Speaker 42 I will say, I have watched this clip over and over again.

Speaker 43 Like once a week, I'll just go back and watch it.

Speaker 36 The shot void that you love?

Speaker 27 The feeling of Conan's like desirous ego.

Speaker 15 Yes, it's just

Speaker 46 a perfect story. It's told perfectly.
It's so funny.

Speaker 47 It has payoff. It's just great.

Speaker 48 Okay, let's roll it.

Speaker 4 I have a tale to tell, and it's an embarrassing tale. And I think these are the ones you guys like.

Speaker 48 These are our favorite.

Speaker 1 This is a true story.

Speaker 4 I just flew in from Boston. I was seeing my family there.

Speaker 49 And

Speaker 49 I,

Speaker 4 you know, I check out my family. I check out my family.

Speaker 48 Hey, you guys are looking.

Speaker 16 Hey, mom, dad, you guys are looking good.

Speaker 49 Sexy nuclear unit.

Speaker 7 No, I was checking in on my family

Speaker 4 and seeing

Speaker 6 my fam, my sibs.

Speaker 4 And then I go to Logan Airport and I'm going to take the flight from Boston to Los Angeles.

Speaker 50 And

Speaker 50 I am in the line.

Speaker 4 You know, you wait in the line to hand your stuff over. put it on the conveyor belt.
So you're a little distracted, but I'm taking my belt off.

Speaker 6 They always say you can leave your belt on, but it always sets it off.

Speaker 53 So now I take everything off.

Speaker 4 I'm pretty much naked when I go through that thing.

Speaker 7 But I'm taking everything off.

Speaker 4 I'm putting it down into this bucket. And this this very nice kid who's wearing a white sweater and he has glasses and dark hair.

Speaker 6 And he says, oh, hi, Conan.

Speaker 4 And he could not have been nicer. He said,

Speaker 4 your show means a lot to me or your TV show meant a lot to me.

Speaker 4 I've listened to Conan O'Brien needs a friend all the time. He is Armenian.
He introduces himself. And I think he said his name was Arman.
He could not have been nicer.

Speaker 4 And he was talking about, he was very beautifully talking about what the work has meant to him and all that. And I just had like the nicest conversation with him.

Speaker 4 And he was kind of holding his phone, but we were just about to go through whatever, the x-ray machine. And so he had to put his phone in.

Speaker 4 And I was kind of thinking, I think he wanted to do a photo, but he didn't.

Speaker 54 Okay.

Speaker 16 Hold on. But anyway, we go through and I'm thinking, that guy was so nice.

Speaker 6 So

Speaker 50 then

Speaker 4 they want to look again at one of my bags.

Speaker 4 I think it's, you know, how many men travel with nine bottles of hairspray?

Speaker 45 So it was suspicious.

Speaker 45 And it's Aquanette. It's for old women.

Speaker 54 They don't even make it anymore. Oh, my God.

Speaker 39 A two-day trip.

Speaker 14 It was a day and a half trip.

Speaker 6 And so, and it's all not all for

Speaker 54 my hair. But anyway,

Speaker 7 no, as I'm saying, I inhale that stuff.

Speaker 5 It's an incredible high.

Speaker 45 Shout out to Aquinette. But anyway,

Speaker 14 I get through

Speaker 50 and

Speaker 49 I

Speaker 6 get some of my stuff and I stand up and standing there, white sweater, glasses, dark hair,

Speaker 4 sky, and I walk up to him and say,

Speaker 12 hey, let's do a selfie.

Speaker 4 And he said,

Speaker 15 okay.

Speaker 50 And

Speaker 4 he starts to fish around in his luggage for his camera. And I'm thinking, he was just holding his camera.
And he doesn't seem that interested.

Speaker 50 And

Speaker 58 what the fuck?

Speaker 4 That's weird. I thought I was being super nice because he said all those nice things.
And he starts to pick it up and he goes, okay.

Speaker 4 And I went and look at him and I go wait a minute oh no it's not that guy I just I swear to God I just

Speaker 19 so this guy who's just a guy who's wearing

Speaker 59 and I look over and I see the other guy listen to me I see listen to me I'm not kidding this I swear to God this is all exactly happened I see the other guy he's wearing a sweater that is practically identical they look very similar and he's got glasses and I see him standing over at a post holding his cell phone thinking why wouldn't he take a cell phone and he's and i'm looking at this guy and he goes uh okay

Speaker 59 and he takes a selfie of us and

Speaker 60 so look at it from his perspective he's sitting there waiting for another relative a girlfriend or whatever to come through and conan o'brien walks up and goes hey let's do a selfie

Speaker 59 you must have thought you were insane he thought i was insane and so then i start to go no no no i thought I thought you were him.

Speaker 37 And I'm pointing to the other guy.

Speaker 52 And the other guy isn't even looking at me at that point.

Speaker 18 He's looking at his phone because he just got a text.

Speaker 16 And there's no good explanation for why you would walk up to a stranger and say, hey,

Speaker 11 hey, buddy, let's get a selfie.

Speaker 64 You're going to want this.

Speaker 65 You're going to want this.

Speaker 66 So somewhere out there, there's a guy who isn't a fan.

Speaker 60 Doesn't care, maybe actively dislikes what I do.

Speaker 64 I came up to him and made him take a selfie.

Speaker 59 And I can, I just, and so then I walk up to the other guy and I said, I'm sorry, I thought he was you.

Speaker 16 And the other guy, I'm just, you know, there's no, now he just thinks, oh, so all non-celebrities look alike to you?

Speaker 27 No, I think what happened is there was no first guy, and you just got a bad reaction from someone you wanted to take a selfie with.

Speaker 69 And this first guy's your like fight club Tyler Durden who gets you to do selfie.

Speaker 16 Nice, nice try, yes, that I see see phantom people.

Speaker 20 No, I loved it, it was so perfect, and I don't have photos, but if I could show you a photo of what both of them were wearing, you would laugh because some of these selfies exist, though.

Speaker 20 It's as if, it's as if a higher being, God, said, This is going to be really funny.

Speaker 6 I'm sending down two people who look somewhat alike, and they're both in a, and they're both wearing this very similar sweater and like dark jeans.

Speaker 55 So, whatever.

Speaker 56 That

Speaker 71 happened.

Speaker 24 Oh, my God.

Speaker 7 And I just keep thinking about this guy, just like, okay, where's Sarah?

Speaker 4 I just got to wait for Sarah to come through.

Speaker 13 Hey,

Speaker 20 hey, let's take a selfie.

Speaker 55 What do you, let's do it right now. Come on, get the camera out.

Speaker 24 Like, you're doing him a favor.

Speaker 26 Hey, buddy. Yeah.

Speaker 70 And now I think I chose a new.

Speaker 60 Hey, hey, guess what?

Speaker 55 Randomly, every hundredth person gets to win the ultimate lottery.

Speaker 27 You think you're about to be selected for improved security?

Speaker 45 No.

Speaker 19 No, you're getting a selfie with Conan O'Brien.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry, and you do what?

Speaker 45 Come on.

Speaker 12 Late night show, 90s, 2000s.

Speaker 6 NBC, TBS. Come on.
Come on.

Speaker 59 Podcast. Come on.
Come on. Get the camera.
Let's do this.

Speaker 57 Incredible.

Speaker 18 That's just happened.

Speaker 45 That happened 36 hours ago.

Speaker 54 And

Speaker 20 the minute it happened, I said, these exist.

Speaker 5 This is why I have the podcast because this is fresh.

Speaker 45 This just.

Speaker 23 Oh my God.

Speaker 48 Hey, buddy, let's do it.

Speaker 59 Get the camera out.

Speaker 66 Let's get that selfie.

Speaker 24 I love that you said these two selfies still exist, but that guy probably just deleted it.

Speaker 48 He never took it.

Speaker 36 She's like, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 59 There you go. And you know what he said? He said click.

Speaker 34 He said click.

Speaker 59 And I was like, I didn't think he pushed the phone.

Speaker 7 And then I saw him walk up to a trash can and throw his iPhone away.

Speaker 40 And it was the new one. It's the new one with the funny new cord.

Speaker 51 Oh, man.

Speaker 27 That is true. That picture is probably out there somewhere.
Yes. If this person, like, has this never made its way back to that person?

Speaker 33 I want to see that photo so badly.

Speaker 24 Arman, it's me. It's Sona.

Speaker 24 He said he's Armenian. Maybe he's my cousin or something.
But yeah, just show us this picture. Wait, no, we don't want his picture.
We don't want it with Arman.

Speaker 24 We want it with the other guy that he like went up to i just love to see it yeah i know it's awesome that was one of my favorite stories also very sweet that he's he was visiting his parents he said in the beginning of that clip and i i do have to say conan visited his parents constantly so i mean he was always anytime he was on the east coast he stopped by boston so it's sweet that he had selfies with him as well i know

Speaker 27 uh all right this next uh segment is called conan tries sona's lip gloss we've had a few things with my chapsticks This one is more recent, if it's the one I'm thinking of.

Speaker 24 Is this the one where I was having, I like, kept reapplying because it was really tasty?

Speaker 27 Yeah, and then he basically ate a whole tube of it. That's right.
And I wouldn't touch the stuff.

Speaker 24 Yeah, I know. He stuck it in his mouth, I think.
And yeah, he,

Speaker 24 I don't even know where that chapstick is. I actually think I may have thrown it away.

Speaker 15 I think he ate it all.

Speaker 62 Oh, God. That's gross.

Speaker 57 I'm a chronic lip moisturizer. Yeah, what's that all about?

Speaker 24 But the thing is, I got a new one and I was like, this will be nice because it's like a tube. Yeah.
And then it comes off. And then it tastes so good.

Speaker 34 I keep looking at it.

Speaker 15 So you're basically eating it.

Speaker 63 You're eating it.

Speaker 40 Soda. Can I see it?

Speaker 59 Can I take a look at it?

Speaker 37 Would you hand it to me? And would you say what you called it when she was putting it on?

Speaker 18 Oh, well, she kept putting it on.

Speaker 20 And I said, what is that?

Speaker 26 Say something stupid sauce

Speaker 59 because you sure are using it a lot.

Speaker 12 Give me some lip, it's called.

Speaker 53 We're just giving these people a free plug.

Speaker 14 We are.

Speaker 6 Do you mind if I put it on right now? I promise.

Speaker 13 I don't mind.

Speaker 29 I really don't.

Speaker 44 Sore, I have a sore that appears monthly.

Speaker 30 Well, you knew that.

Speaker 24 Why are you looking at your hand? Are you going to put it on your hand? No, okay, on your lip. Yeah.
It tastes good. And also,

Speaker 24 it doesn't stay on that well. I have other stuff that kind of just like stays on.

Speaker 10 Oh my God, this tastes fantastic.

Speaker 24 That's what I'm saying. I keep eating it.
And so, oh,

Speaker 15 this is delicious.

Speaker 59 I'm not kidding. It's delicious.

Speaker 39 Oh, my God.

Speaker 24 Just keep it.

Speaker 24 You got to keep it now. You have to keep it.

Speaker 14 No, I'll give it back to you.

Speaker 29 It's like he's just sucking on a

Speaker 63 go-gurt.

Speaker 10 This is amazing. What's in it?

Speaker 16 Oh, God. Do not ingest.

Speaker 14 Oh,

Speaker 12 now it's 40% less asbestos.

Speaker 60 This is incredible.

Speaker 17 This really does.

Speaker 53 I see now why you keep applying it because it's very delicious.

Speaker 16 Do you ever put it on the finger and then use the finger to apply?

Speaker 24 I don't. No, I just go straight from tube to mouth.
But

Speaker 24 you're putting on a lot.

Speaker 35 Do you see that?

Speaker 45 You know why I'm putting on a lot?

Speaker 17 I don't think I've ever moisturized my lips.

Speaker 22 Oh.

Speaker 16 Not once. Have you ever seen me moisturize my lips in all the years you've known me? Do you moisturize your lips?

Speaker 27 I always have a chapstick with me.

Speaker 44 I never do.

Speaker 2 I don't.

Speaker 14 Eduardo.

Speaker 19 It's foreign to me.

Speaker 24 Your lips are so shiny, right?

Speaker 16 They should be. You know what?

Speaker 4 Draw attention to the mouth.

Speaker 71 They are so shiny.

Speaker 27 I've got two chapsticks with me for some reason.

Speaker 63 This is weird, but why?

Speaker 37 I don't know if I'm doing something wrong, wrong, but Eduardo, back me up.

Speaker 27 I don't participate in that.

Speaker 16 Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 57 I just think, well, we're in the world.

Speaker 40 We didn't, when we evolved from the great ape,

Speaker 8 he did not moisturize his lips.

Speaker 27 So then you don't need to use sunscreen.

Speaker 15 Oh,

Speaker 68 that's just

Speaker 20 cruel. That's going after my disability.

Speaker 38 That is,

Speaker 24 that is.

Speaker 24 Oh, my God. You're putting on

Speaker 35 so much of it. Oh, my God.

Speaker 25 Can I say it?

Speaker 24 But you know what? The thing is, I laugh a lot.

Speaker 35 If you can see this on video, don't.

Speaker 26 Don't. Zoom in.
Skip it. Zoom in.

Speaker 34 Skip it. Help me.

Speaker 11 Help me. Oh, my God.

Speaker 27 With your like five o'clock shadow.

Speaker 60 I'm over-moisturized.

Speaker 40 God.

Speaker 32 You should loop up.

Speaker 15 What does it taste like, though?

Speaker 35 What's that?

Speaker 46 What does it taste like, though? Try it.

Speaker 35 No, no, no.

Speaker 35 No, no. Oh, come on.

Speaker 26 It's fine.

Speaker 59 No, listen. The sore I get erupts once.

Speaker 24 Take it with your fingers.

Speaker 33 Don't even open it.

Speaker 37 Just try it, you coward.

Speaker 40 Put it on, Eduardo. Eduardo, I promise you.

Speaker 15 Talk, dude.

Speaker 38 Eduardo.

Speaker 26 Put it on.

Speaker 73 Literally, don't be a little fancy, Eduardo.

Speaker 68 Just like you've never kissed Conan on the mouth. Come on.

Speaker 52 No, Eduardo, I'm telling you, I.

Speaker 72 Wait, do I lick?

Speaker 34 No, don't lick it. It's for your lips.

Speaker 57 Put on your lips, but then lick your lips.

Speaker 44 It's really good.

Speaker 24 Lick your lips. I mean, it has a tint.

Speaker 44 Eduardo, lick your lips.

Speaker 35 Wow. Look at that.

Speaker 27 What's it taste like?

Speaker 22 I don't know.

Speaker 35 I've never used lip math before.

Speaker 48 I don't know if this is what it normally is.

Speaker 59 You know why?

Speaker 4 This is why Eduardo's never been hired to do an infomercial.

Speaker 59 Try this amazing new product.

Speaker 64 What do you think, Eduardo?

Speaker 4 I don't really want to try it.

Speaker 26 No,

Speaker 59 Eduardo, it's the amazing new lip balm.

Speaker 40 Try it on your lips.

Speaker 41 Just put it a tiny bit.

Speaker 59 But Eduardo, doesn't it feel good?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 35 I didn't say it was bad. I just, you know.
Oh, I didn't say it was bad.

Speaker 26 Oh, great.

Speaker 64 You heard it from Eduardo.

Speaker 61 He didn't say it was bad.

Speaker 59 Call 1-800-555-2525 and get your not-so-bad lip balm.

Speaker 37 This is your problem, man.

Speaker 75 It's delicious.

Speaker 60 It is.

Speaker 59 Seriously, you keep it and don't worry about whatever sores I may have.

Speaker 24 I don't, I'm not, nobody puts it in their mouth. It's like, it's, I don't want it after.

Speaker 54 Why? What are you afraid of? Be honest.

Speaker 24 I don't want your saliva.

Speaker 40 all over i know but what do you what do you worry is it was forever tied to that too have you i know have you like raw like deep throating my did you say raw dog

Speaker 24 I said raw dog, and I was like, that's not the right one. Then I changed it to deep-throating, which is what you were doing.

Speaker 5 I've been deep-throated.

Speaker 7 I know what deep-throating is.

Speaker 32 Yes.

Speaker 62 Well, you definitely fillated it.

Speaker 34 You blew my chest.

Speaker 61 I have never, ever fillated a penis that small.

Speaker 54 That I promise you.

Speaker 60 That's the Conan guarantee.

Speaker 64 With the lip glass.

Speaker 61 You heard it here.

Speaker 36 Oh, God.

Speaker 61 I've never fillated a penis that small.

Speaker 26 Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Speaker 27 And then we've come to find out, he did tell us after the recording he has.

Speaker 24 He has.

Speaker 41 He has that that was not true.

Speaker 24 That had a what did you? He's like, I don't participate in that.

Speaker 27 What listeners would have never seen is that Adam's in the background, too, having never even been asked at this point whether he wants to try shaking his head going,

Speaker 36 it made the rounds.

Speaker 64 I didn't even get back to it.

Speaker 15 My bad, especially getting a fourth person.

Speaker 24 It did make the rounds.

Speaker 47 Conan's whole mouth was on that thing.

Speaker 27 You and you have French-kissed Conan over the house.

Speaker 24 Oh, God.

Speaker 47 Was it last year that he asked Julie Louis Dreyfus to put on her lipstick?

Speaker 33 That's right.

Speaker 48 There's something

Speaker 30 going on.

Speaker 24 Well, and he did that remote in Texas when he was doing, was it Mary Kay where he put makeup? There's this insane image of him.

Speaker 34 And I think I've seen it in a gift.

Speaker 24 Like someone's probably sent it to me, where he looks like a crazy person peering through a window.

Speaker 24 And he's got like lipstick all over his face, right?

Speaker 65 Am I wrong, Blake?

Speaker 14 You're absolutely right.

Speaker 28 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 68 And it haunts my dreams every night.

Speaker 35 I know.

Speaker 27 I didn't even know the context of that. I've just seen that picture, and it is harrowing.

Speaker 24 You should watch that remote he did, where he meets with women who sell Mary Kay products, and it's really, really funny.

Speaker 27 I mean, we don't even really talk about it on this show, but I've always been a Conan fan, and I've seen most of, if not all of these remotes at some time or another.

Speaker 24 Yes, yeah, yeah. His remotes, I think, are pretty legendary.
And, you know, that one is a really funny one.

Speaker 27 I also, this has never come up on the show.

Speaker 33 Yeah, I submitted a packet to be a writer on his show.

Speaker 14 You did?

Speaker 27 Because I knew Todd Levin, and he asked me, You're kidding me.

Speaker 69 We've never talked about it on the show.

Speaker 24 Girls, you would have been a really good writer on the show because you just have like such a similar sensibility.

Speaker 69 Well, I didn't get hired.

Speaker 41 Oh, well, okay.

Speaker 24 You know what? Sweeney's here. We should just ask him why he never hired us.

Speaker 62 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 38 Let's go straight to the source.

Speaker 11 with the u.s bank split world mastercard all purchases are automatically divided into three payments and placed in a payment plan to be paid back over three months that's a nice little buffer zone yeah if you're looking for additional flexibility you can extend your plan to six or 12 months with equal monthly payments for a low monthly fee So whether it's concert tickets, a new sofa, or an unexpected vet bill, pay later on every purchase with the U.S.

Speaker 8 Bank split card.

Speaker 20 Why do they always say an unexpected vet bill?

Speaker 77 There are expected vet bills.

Speaker 6 Well, I got my golden retriever a facelift.

Speaker 66 We talked about it for a year.

Speaker 66 He was very unhappy.

Speaker 20 He wasn't doing well on social media.

Speaker 7 So we had a little to nip and tuck. Yeah.

Speaker 45 Yeah, it was a good time.

Speaker 9 No, I would never have done that.

Speaker 24 It was a good time.

Speaker 54 I never did that.

Speaker 66 Animals never had a facelift in my home.

Speaker 19 That's one thing where I will draw the line.

Speaker 10 No facelifts for dogs in my home.

Speaker 29 Cats, on the other hand, need all the help they can get.

Speaker 76 I lost my mind.

Speaker 4 Learn more at usbank.com slash split card.

Speaker 8 The creditor and issuer of this card is US Bank National Association, pursuant to a license from MasterCard International, Incorporated.

Speaker 4 Some restrictions may apply.

Speaker 16 On eBay, every find has a story.

Speaker 8 Like if you're looking for a vintage band tee, the one you wore everywhere, until you lost it.

Speaker 22 Womp, womp.

Speaker 8 Or your brother Neil burned it.

Speaker 7 Now you're on eBay and there it is.

Speaker 8 The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you, especially on eBay.

Speaker 6 From rare collectibles and vintage cars to designer fashion, it's all there.

Speaker 4 You can find it if it's out there and it can be back in your loving arms.

Speaker 8 Shop eBay for millions of finds, each with a story.

Speaker 9 eBay, things, people, love.

Speaker 6 I'm sure a lot of you out there are plain Coca-Cola people, and that's respectable.

Speaker 8 Trust me, I'm one.

Speaker 4 Yes, I am.

Speaker 6 You've many times seen me just, I like to order just a regular.

Speaker 55 I really do.

Speaker 4 But if you haven't tried a Coca-Cola from Sonic, now is your chance because right now it's completely free with any purchase.

Speaker 6 Now, if you're a regular Joe, you're thinking to yourself, I can get a Coca-Cola from anywhere, Conan.

Speaker 4 Why would I go to Sonic?

Speaker 76 Well, I'm going to tell you.

Speaker 4 Sonic has all the flavors and add-ins to make the perfect Coca-Cola for you.

Speaker 6 I'm talking strawberry, cherries, coconuts, sweet cream, jalapenos?

Speaker 14 Oh.

Speaker 12 Second of all, let me say this again.

Speaker 11 It's free.

Speaker 4 But I like an add-in.

Speaker 5 I like to have a little flavor.

Speaker 6 And you know what?

Speaker 5 Coconut in your Coca-Cola is delicious.

Speaker 53 It really is.

Speaker 4 So create a Coke your way, any size, any flavor, free with any purchase in the Sonic app for a limited time. Live free.
Eat Sonic.

Speaker 72 This next one, oh boy, Soda.

Speaker 15 This is called Sona is a good one.

Speaker 24 I don't want to do this one. I listen.
Recently, my mom, after we watch this clip, you'll understand this more.

Speaker 46 I mean, I love it. I don't want to do this one, but after we watch the clip.

Speaker 36 I know.

Speaker 24 I don't want to do this one. Because my mom did come up to me and she's like, you need to tell everybody what a great woman your great-grandma was.
Cause I made her sound like a crazy witch.

Speaker 35 I'm sorry.

Speaker 68 We don't have time for that.

Speaker 27 No, go ahead. This is the time.

Speaker 24 No, she was. My great-grandma, who I made, used to make cry just for funsies, was actually a really incredible human being.
And, you know, I

Speaker 34 was okay. well, your mom's listening.

Speaker 28 She has.

Speaker 73 I don't even know how.

Speaker 24 She never talks to me about, like, hey, I saw you talk about this thing on the podcast. It's just like every once in a while she brings it up.
So I don't know if someone sent it to her

Speaker 24 or if she just watches it and just doesn't want to talk to me about the things that I say.

Speaker 28 Wow.

Speaker 24 Yeah, which it could possibly be the second one because she doesn't like some of the things I talk about.

Speaker 62 Roll it.

Speaker 4 Sona, you lived with.

Speaker 24 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and they both lived into their 90s.

Speaker 53 Into their 90s.

Speaker 7 Yeah. And they came from.

Speaker 24 They came from Istanbul. Yep.

Speaker 24 And I mean, my grandpa started, he was a butcher when he was 12. Like, they just put him to work really early.
Right.

Speaker 24 So it's like the idea that you are trusting a 12-year-old with slaughtering animals is just feels like a completely different world.

Speaker 6 But also just the fact that then they come to this country and they're living with you

Speaker 4 and it's you're going out to in and out to grab a burger

Speaker 55 and whatever else you're up to.

Speaker 16 It's just this amazing clash of cultures.

Speaker 6 I find that stuff fascinating.

Speaker 24 Well, my great-grandma also lived with us and she was old as shit. She was really old.

Speaker 16 You don't say old as shit.

Speaker 24 She was really, really old. And I remember she was this old, wrinkly lady, and I was really young.
I was maybe like 10. And my mom was like, she's going to sleep in your room.

Speaker 24 And And I, that, it, from then on, I was terrified of the dark because I thought she was like an old witch lady.

Speaker 16 And she was just like, when you say she was, what did you say? Old as shit?

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 45 How old is old as shit?

Speaker 24 She was, I mean, when I was 10, she was like 95.

Speaker 16 Because there are young comedians out there that now see me and go, you're old as shit.

Speaker 59 So it's all, it's all relative.

Speaker 24 That's right. I was 10 and she was 60.

Speaker 45 No, no, seriously, how old do you think she was?

Speaker 24 She was 95. Yeah.
But she was like an old wrinkly lady. And I was young and I I was like, why is this old person in my room? And I got terrified at the moment.

Speaker 54 But you sound like an awful grandchild.

Speaker 24 I was really bad.

Speaker 64 I love this.

Speaker 73 Like, old and wrinkled.

Speaker 59 Why is that in my room?

Speaker 24 I have, we did something else. I don't want to, I shouldn't bring it.

Speaker 54 Well, we got it now.

Speaker 24 This is really bad. So she had a son who passed away that no one told her passed away.
And then my uncle, who was still in Istanbul, and we'd hold up two fingers and be like, Medzik,

Speaker 24 you know,

Speaker 24 touch one of them. And we would, she would touch him and be like, oh, that's, you know, Bejo Daidai, who was my uncle.
And she'd just instantly start crying. And we thought it was so

Speaker 23 understanding what's happening here.

Speaker 24 Because we kept reminding her of these people she hadn't seen in a long time. And we'd instantly make her cry.
And Danny and I were like, let's go make Menti cry.

Speaker 26 Whoa.

Speaker 67 Oh, my God.

Speaker 24 You're a monster.

Speaker 64 You're a sociopath.

Speaker 67 How is that?

Speaker 24 We were just fascinated with her instant sadness.

Speaker 27 I thought you were the true sociopath, but it's you all.

Speaker 62 No, Millie was Melissa.

Speaker 71 Oh, no.

Speaker 26 No, no, no.

Speaker 40 To be fair, i did it to my grandmother motti too

Speaker 59 i used to go remember that that that loved one that perished

Speaker 52 it was fun we used to call it it was the old fun we called it the parish game

Speaker 59 hey let's go play parish and we'd go into motti's room remember the one you loved who perished

Speaker 40 look at them waterworks

Speaker 24 you're an awful awful person no no joke that was really bad yeah you're bad it was bad we would make her laugh just for all right well listen let's have have some good come out.

Speaker 27 You don't need to clarify, no joke.

Speaker 24 We would make her cry just for fun.

Speaker 35 Yeah, because we were terrible.

Speaker 6 Let's have some good come out of this.

Speaker 55 If you're listening right now and you're tempted to go mock a very, very old relative by reminding them of someone they lost long ago, think twice.

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 55 That's a little word from Conan O'Brien.

Speaker 8 Needs a friend.

Speaker 27 What if one day your great-grandchildren come up to you and you're old and wrinkly and sleeping in their bedroom

Speaker 27 and start doing this to you? Will you laugh?

Speaker 24 I'll be so old. Look, I think.

Speaker 24 Did you ever do anything when you were younger? We were like, that's a shitty thing.

Speaker 71 Like, I used to egg houses and now I'm like, that's not cool.

Speaker 27 We would play, did you ever play Dead Man?

Speaker 29 No.

Speaker 27 Where you'd lie half in the street, half on the curb like you're dead and wait for a car to drive by and stop and go like, are you okay? And all the other kids are hiding in the bushes listening.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 41 And you just go, no, I'm just looking at the stars.

Speaker 24 Matt, really?

Speaker 37 Don't act so surprised.

Speaker 36 That's nowhere near what you did.

Speaker 35 You used to do. No.

Speaker 24 That is so bad.

Speaker 14 Uh-uh.

Speaker 24 Look, my mom, unfortunately, saw this clip. My mom, that was, that's my mom's grandma, Medzik.
She's my great-grandma. She was an incredible woman.
I can't believe I called her old as shit.

Speaker 24 And I think that that's a terrible word usage that I had, but I, um, she was an incredible, incredible lady.

Speaker 24 I do feel bad, I think I just kind of said it in a flippant way, but I do feel bad that I used to make her cry just for fun, which is an awful thing to do.

Speaker 32 How old were you?

Speaker 24 I was like, I think I was around 10 or 11, and it was definitely old enough to know better. It is, you know, what that's the thing.
I was, I was old enough to know better.

Speaker 27 I think I'm still hearing you, your true self right now.

Speaker 24 Yes, I do think, like, the older I get too, the more I realize I can cry very easily. So, I think that we were just kind of like, look at her, have emotions just from us saying a name.

Speaker 24 And I feel like now as a, you know, a human, I would be like, I shouldn't do that.

Speaker 27 It's kind of true. Most kids are sociopaths and then you learn empathy as you have trauma.

Speaker 14 Come on. Oh my God.

Speaker 25 Again, don't act so shocked.

Speaker 24 Look, if there's any 10 or 11 year olds listening and you have a great grandma who can cry very easily, like, just don't do it.

Speaker 22 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 13 I'm glad we cleared that up. Okay.

Speaker 24 Oh, geez, that was hard to watch. That was hard to watch.

Speaker 41 It's hard to be a partner sometimes.

Speaker 27 This next one is Conan's Hot Ones recap. This was quite a moment in the pop culture in last year.
And we got to have Conan just kind of recap his experience on Hot Ones, where he broke the system.

Speaker 24 I don't even like this is, this was a fun moment for our podcast, but the Hot Ones episode, I think in terms of Conan's career was probably one of the most unhinged, just funniest things I think I've ever seen him do.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 24 But yeah, it was really, I mean, it was incredible how many people were talking about him after that. And so, yeah,

Speaker 24 this one's really funny.

Speaker 48 Let's listen.

Speaker 2 How are you? I'm doing great.

Speaker 24 Are you? I am.

Speaker 17 Okay. A lot of people are asking me, how do I feel?

Speaker 24 Because

Speaker 24 you ate a lot of spicy food on Hot Ones.

Speaker 56 Yes.

Speaker 54 I went on the show Hot Ones.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 I did not, I was aware of the show, obviously.

Speaker 4 It's a very successful show. I hadn't really, I can't say I was an expert on the show.
I went in

Speaker 50 thinking,

Speaker 4 well, whatever happens, I just have to eat all the wings and just go for it and make a fool of myself. And so that's, I kind of had that plan in mind, but didn't know much beyond that.

Speaker 4 The host, very good, excellent. I like that guy a lot.

Speaker 6 He's a very good interviewer.

Speaker 2 He is.

Speaker 4 He's a really good interviewer.

Speaker 52 And,

Speaker 6 and they do a really good job on that show.

Speaker 4 So Sean's asking me questions, and I was just determined to just keep stuffing these wings in no matter what.

Speaker 4 And then, of course, me being me, I start drinking the sauce and rubbing it around on my face and my chest and everything. And

Speaker 6 the whole and I've, so when I walk around now, because a lot of people have seen this, people keep asking me me if I'm okay.

Speaker 27 I wondered the same thing. Well, I also just watched Conan Must Go, which is fantastic, by the way.
And in Thailand, you get pretty floored, albeit comedy,

Speaker 27 comedically, by some sauce. So I thought, you're going to go down when I see hot ones.

Speaker 56 Yeah. No, well, we played that up for comedy.

Speaker 4 And then, and, and, and you're allowed to, in the, in a sketch world or comedy world, you can fake things a little bit.

Speaker 42 I'm aware of.

Speaker 35 Yes. That is not how comedy works.

Speaker 7 I really, when I look at you two, I think an explanation might be in order.

Speaker 27 So what's the deal? Do you not have taste buds or something?

Speaker 13 How did you do that?

Speaker 24 I have never seen you eat spicy food.

Speaker 16 I don't eat spicy food.

Speaker 24 You know, there's people who like put Tabasco or tapatillo on stuff.

Speaker 24 I've had so many meals with you and I've never seen you eat spicy food.

Speaker 27 I have a theory. It's that the only thing worse than that amount of thermal spice would be you not somehow getting the attention that eating all of that would give you.
Yes.

Speaker 4 And all joking aside,

Speaker 4 and also I've had a bunch of people posit that I have the red haired gene, which is there's a, you know, when I go to the dentist and they give me novocaine, they then go to drill and it's like, I haven't had novocaine.

Speaker 4 And I'm always saying, I feel everything right now.

Speaker 54 And they would, and they always say, oh, yeah, you're a redhead.

Speaker 4 I don't know if that's, but I've had many dentists say that to me. And they keep, they give me a lot more.
And they say the redheads have, whatever, a higher pain threshold or something.

Speaker 6 I don't know what what it is.

Speaker 53 Meaning, you feel less pain, you feel more pain.

Speaker 56 You feel nothing.

Speaker 4 You don't, well, you don't feel, I don't know, I don't know exactly how it works, and I'm just freewheeling here. I just know what I've been told by people.
I don't think it's it.

Speaker 4 I think you have it, Matt, which is: I've always been, if I think something will be funny, I'll do it and deal with it later.

Speaker 27 And did you?

Speaker 53 Yeah, I did deal with it later. I was dealt with later.

Speaker 27 How did it manifest itself?

Speaker 66 I've spot welded

Speaker 9 an iron.

Speaker 24 I'm still thinking the same thing.

Speaker 59 I spot welded.

Speaker 64 I wanted it to be useful.

Speaker 27 And how much did you shit?

Speaker 24 How much did your butt hurt?

Speaker 53 Here's what I decided to do.

Speaker 27 And do you have butt taste buds?

Speaker 53 Here's what I decided to do.

Speaker 66 I decided that I wanted, after I ingested all that, I wanted it to be useful.

Speaker 6 So I found a construction site where they were doing spot welding.

Speaker 17 And I went there and I said, gentlemen, if you you want, I can weld these girders for you in about, I'm guessing about 15 minutes.

Speaker 66 You'll need to avert your eyes because I'll be dropping my pants.

Speaker 52 And

Speaker 20 they said,

Speaker 55 okay.

Speaker 16 And I said, I will need someone to stay behind and light it.

Speaker 61 And then we'll be all set to go.

Speaker 6 So there's a building in the Mid-Wiltshire district that's going up.

Speaker 52 And

Speaker 66 I think I did about 65 rivets in the the building. And people were driving by saying, Conan O'Brien, his pants are around his ankles.

Speaker 16 And I think fire is shooting out of his ass, and he's welding a building.

Speaker 75 And here's the biggest problem.

Speaker 44 I had to join the union.

Speaker 59 But that way, everybody wins.

Speaker 17 There's a building, and trust me, that section of the building will never fall.

Speaker 20 That's the best.

Speaker 17 And they've had an engineer say, whoever did this,

Speaker 17 these are heat temperatures we've never never seen.

Speaker 24 So every time you're going to weld something, you just have to eat a lot of hot wings.

Speaker 7 Yes, I'm in the union now.

Speaker 66 And all I have to do is I've got all the sauces from hot ones.

Speaker 57 You are the shottest X-Men ever.

Speaker 48 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Meet the X-Men.

Speaker 16 Really? He's on the X-Men?

Speaker 72 What do we do with him?

Speaker 57 His name's Asweld.

Speaker 16 What's this super?

Speaker 66 And I just, and you know what it is? I have a bandolier, and

Speaker 66 instead of ammunition, it's just sauces.

Speaker 13 And they're like, what are we going to do?

Speaker 59 How are we going to get out of this thing? The bad guys have sealed us in this

Speaker 61 lead safe.

Speaker 59 Hold on a second.

Speaker 26 Boom.

Speaker 67 Pull your pants down. You have to pull your pants down.

Speaker 79 Does your uniform have a compartment?

Speaker 67 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 20 The uniform has.

Speaker 27 Like a union suit, the little thing, little flap.

Speaker 52 Well, it's actually, it's a very tiny flap that's the exact circumference of an anus

Speaker 40 it's a tiny circle that unflaps and then just a beam of the whitest light you've ever seen comes out of phosphorus of phosphorus yeah

Speaker 61 and um

Speaker 66 and everyone has to put on welding goggles oh god

Speaker 27 Do you see what I'm doing? I'm raising my ass out of the chair.

Speaker 30 Why?

Speaker 27 Because I feel like I'm just having psychosomatic symptoms of that or something.

Speaker 24 You know what? I think you asked the question everybody was thinking after Hot Ones, which is like,

Speaker 29 how did it come out? Right.

Speaker 27 He joked, but we don't really know.

Speaker 15 I know.

Speaker 41 Maybe that's true, you know, maybe.

Speaker 24 Maybe it's true that he welded a building.

Speaker 14 Maybe.

Speaker 22 But

Speaker 68 the reason why I love that clip is that I think more than most clips shows how good Conan is at improv.

Speaker 68 I mean, he took basically a thing of like, yeah, my stomach is upset and my butt was burning and turned it into like a movie.

Speaker 72 Like that, like it was like a three-act structure and a very developed character.

Speaker 46 That's right.

Speaker 25 That had to join the union.

Speaker 68 Exactly. I mean, just so many amazing, I mean, truly, it was just like a one-man show.

Speaker 24 So that's yeah, and how many welding terms he just randomly

Speaker 24 just pulls out of his ass

Speaker 15 pun intended. Well done.

Speaker 24 Thank you. I have to say, I haven't watched these since we recorded them.

Speaker 24 But so it's, this is really fun. Yeah.
We should do this more often. I agree.
We should just watch ourselves.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 40 Do you want to come over later and watch me?

Speaker 24 Watch you?

Speaker 24 You edited yourself out of every video, and there's just a big gorly video out there.

Speaker 47 We knew we wanted to have like some reference to hot ones, you know, in this because that, like you said, such a big moment. What we couldn't really fit into this episode was the Dr.
Arroyo special.

Speaker 36 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 27 Because it's just so long.

Speaker 15 It's so long.

Speaker 33 And it's consistent.

Speaker 47 And it contains what I think might be the funniest line of the year on this podcast, which is when he says, Dr. Arroyo, I want you to come and take my pulse.

Speaker 47 And then you start choking me. And then Dr.
Arroyo, Jose Arroyo, hilarious writer, says, I thought you wanted me to take your pulse.

Speaker 48 Take it away.

Speaker 25 Oh, God, that guy.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 33 So funny.

Speaker 27 Well, as brilliant as Conan is at Improv, he's not a great arm wrestler.

Speaker 15 He's weak.

Speaker 28 He's a weak little man.

Speaker 68 This also, I think, out of maybe all the segments we've done this year, is the most chaotic.

Speaker 32 I'm trying to remember.

Speaker 27 All I can remember from this is utter victory.

Speaker 26 That's the only thing I remember.

Speaker 27 So I'm excited to see this.

Speaker 1 Then you're in for a treat.

Speaker 24 Did you really think he would ever beat you? I knew you were going to win.

Speaker 65 Did you really?

Speaker 27 Yeah. I don't know.
I don't know because he is... I don't know about his physicality, but he has a willpower like no human I've ever met before.
So sometimes that's all you need, you know?

Speaker 24 But I also, he is a very strong person too. I mean, he works out, but I also know that he would put too much thought into it.
Oh, interesting. And he'd be like in his own head.

Speaker 33 Or I'm just all animal men.

Speaker 24 You're just a dumb jock.

Speaker 30 He'd be like, fuck yo,

Speaker 27 and I went home to my cheerleaders.

Speaker 24 Classic, Matt.

Speaker 14 Classic.

Speaker 27 All right. Let's roll this.
I want to see this. Maybe we'll watch it twice.

Speaker 6 This is what we were just talking about.

Speaker 4 I made a declaration that I'm pretty sure I could take anybody in this room in a physical fight, except

Speaker 54 I said, Blay. I don't think I could take you because you work out all the time.

Speaker 4 Thank you very much.

Speaker 55 You could. I don't think I could.

Speaker 59 But, and then everyone started to get into it.

Speaker 16 Like, no, you couldn't.

Speaker 72 You couldn't take Eduardo.

Speaker 57 But you said more than that.

Speaker 80 Yeah. You said I'd fight you without my hands.

Speaker 40 Yes.

Speaker 59 Well, I know that you're a huge.

Speaker 68 And I still think he'd win.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 12 No, I think you're a huge, you're a huge soccer fan.

Speaker 5 You love Lionel Messi.

Speaker 4 It's Lionel, by the way.

Speaker 52 and

Speaker 16 I just think you're probably like in the back of your mind think I can't use my hands I've got to get him with my feet and then I just lay you out you know and then Adam I'm sorry but I just it would be over very quickly I disagree yeah yeah I think Adam's the quiet prize fighter you know have you been in many physical fights very few

Speaker 49 very few very few so

Speaker 47 sona i think rightfully said that she couldn't see me getting like, working up enough rage.

Speaker 54 I don't.

Speaker 16 Yeah, I think, first of all,

Speaker 10 you remind me, and the listener is probably thinking, well, we can't picture this Adam Sachs.

Speaker 50 Imagine a milder Michael Sarah.

Speaker 15 Is that fair?

Speaker 52 Like, even milder

Speaker 52 and not as strong.

Speaker 59 Like a Michael, like Michael Sarah is like on steroids compared to.

Speaker 14 No, no, no.

Speaker 15 Is Adams tall and lithe?

Speaker 35 I think, do you want to arm wrestle across the table?

Speaker 26 Oh, yes.

Speaker 49 No, yes.

Speaker 23 Come on.

Speaker 19 No, I can't.

Speaker 35 This rotator crosses.

Speaker 34 Oh, really?

Speaker 46 I'd like to see this.

Speaker 27 My money's on this guy.

Speaker 26 Well, wait a minute.

Speaker 37 Whoever wins an arm wrestling

Speaker 20 struggle does not win the fight.

Speaker 2 No, I'm just saying.

Speaker 39 It is one indicator of one of features.

Speaker 81 It doesn't mean I would beat you in a fight, but it means I'd beat you in a single feat of strength.

Speaker 58 Well, this thing's in the way.

Speaker 71 No. But listen.

Speaker 6 Let's keep the conversation going for a bit first, and then we'll see if this so-called test of fighting aptitude gets us there.

Speaker 6 You know, so every time you're in a stressful situation, or let's say you're walking down the street with your wife, and some thug stands in the way and says, Give me money, you're gonna say, We'll arm wrestle and see who gets my gold.

Speaker 59 Is that what you'll say?

Speaker 81 It's, I mean, it came to mind.

Speaker 47 We can figure out other ways to test our goals.

Speaker 54 How about I fight you?

Speaker 10 I fight you, but you're blindfolded. I mean, I'm

Speaker 35 mic'd up.

Speaker 45 It's easier to show the table.

Speaker 10 And what about now, Matt?

Speaker 4 What do you, when you see me, when you see you coming after me, I know you're ageist and stuff, but come on.

Speaker 19 I mean, look at this guy. No, you look great.

Speaker 27 You're super fit.

Speaker 25 For your age.

Speaker 42 And

Speaker 27 I want to say this. The only thing I've got going in my corner is a desperate need to prove something to you, my father figure.

Speaker 20 Yes.

Speaker 27 And so that might be enough to take me over the top.

Speaker 4 Also, I'm betting, just because I know you go to a lot of flea markets and you love to buy weird things. I bet you have a Flemish suit of armor.

Speaker 27 And probably some kind of antique brass knuckle.

Speaker 15 Yeah, oh, yeah.

Speaker 14 And you have it, that knife cane.

Speaker 4 You have all kinds of weapons, ironically.

Speaker 45 I bet you have those.

Speaker 27 What's an ironic?

Speaker 17 Oh,

Speaker 17 like a bumper chute that has a little.

Speaker 57 That's what I just said.

Speaker 20 A little knife that comes out.

Speaker 57 That's what I literally just said.

Speaker 45 No, but it comes out.

Speaker 12 But one that has like a James Bond.

Speaker 39 What I just said.

Speaker 59 You didn't say one that has a little knife that comes out, did you?

Speaker 15 I did.

Speaker 14 Did he say that? Yes.

Speaker 55 Oh, I think I would lose this fight.

Speaker 6 I wouldn't even know I was in a fight.

Speaker 59 I'm telling you.

Speaker 10 As my body grows stronger

Speaker 50 every day, ladies,

Speaker 10 I think my mind is going.

Speaker 4 I didn't hear you say that. But then again, I was yelling at you and I wasn't really listening.

Speaker 27 You need your mind. You know, you can't just be fleet of foot.

Speaker 8 You need your mind in a fight, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 24 And coordination. You have no coordination.

Speaker 71 You have no coordination.

Speaker 27 You get to the bigger thing. And I think Sona could take you.

Speaker 34 I can easily take you. And you know what?

Speaker 45 You know what?

Speaker 49 I can't. I do have the rage.

Speaker 55 I will say this.

Speaker 4 An angry Sona beats everyone in this room.

Speaker 49 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 15 I think we're all.

Speaker 16 And I've seen you when your blood is up. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And you are the Khaleesi.

Speaker 7 It's insane.

Speaker 10 The dragons, the whole thing.

Speaker 24 But you don't have... Yes, you are a strong person.

Speaker 63 I have a lot of inner rage.

Speaker 24 You do, but you also, you don't have very much coordination. And I think you'd be doing a lot of bits.
I would be putting the pen and be like, hey, mustache, a pen.

Speaker 35 Yes, yes.

Speaker 55 I would do bits as I fought, which I think is very impressive.

Speaker 6 I manage to do bits when I fight people.

Speaker 24 I don't think that is impressive. And I think you get beaten up.

Speaker 33 Unless it's a distracting tactic.

Speaker 4 Oh, it wouldn't be distracting.

Speaker 6 It's a lot of me using glasses. If I have a pen, I make it a mustache or I make it

Speaker 36 like, oh, I'm a walrus with one tusk.

Speaker 35 Yeah, you did did the walrus push with one tusk.

Speaker 10 Why the walrus with one tusk, you know?

Speaker 27 There's only one way to decide this, and that is right now.

Speaker 62 Fight club.

Speaker 48 Yeah, battle royal club.

Speaker 57 Why don't you guys go right now?

Speaker 66 Okay, so

Speaker 10 what are you doing? Trying to swing at me.

Speaker 24 Already, I feel like I don't know anything about arm wrestling technique, but I can't.

Speaker 40 I know nothing about arm wrestling.

Speaker 4 All right. And I don't think it's a chest of strength.

Speaker 45 All right, all your marks.

Speaker 57 And we hold these hands? Ready?

Speaker 26 Wait, what are you guys doing?

Speaker 73 Why hold the bottom rules?

Speaker 26 Hey, did I just say something?

Speaker 59 Matt reached over and held my other hand.

Speaker 37 You hit over Over the top rules, if we don't have the little joysticks, wait, what?

Speaker 73 But why did you hold my hand?

Speaker 70 Is this what you do?

Speaker 10 Hey, do you want to get one milkshake and two straws?

Speaker 64 Hey, how about we both

Speaker 59 start on different ends of a strand of spaghetti and move our way out of the middle?

Speaker 64 Have you people never art wrestled with someone you loved dearly and wanted to get closer to you?

Speaker 57 Can I say something else?

Speaker 63 Sona, give me your hand.

Speaker 82 He held my hand and he did a little bit of that.

Speaker 36 There was a little bit of a rub.

Speaker 14 No, you didn't.

Speaker 73 And there's like, what are you doing?

Speaker 14 Did you do this?

Speaker 24 No, that's on the side. That's not in the middle.

Speaker 34 That's on the side.

Speaker 35 That's blocking me.

Speaker 15 A disagreement has broken out in chess club is what's happening.

Speaker 26 That's the weirdest I have never seen this.

Speaker 40 My microphone is over here.

Speaker 26 What are you doing with this man?

Speaker 51 I have never seen this technique before.

Speaker 26 What?

Speaker 57 Okay, but.

Speaker 73 Ah, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Speaker 67 Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
He's... Wait a minute.
You're on this side of the table pushing that way.

Speaker 40 Corley won easily.

Speaker 59 No, but you saw what he did.

Speaker 70 Let's do it. You're on this side of the table.

Speaker 40 There's no way.

Speaker 27 Well, let's switch places then.

Speaker 50 Arm wrestling.

Speaker 44 No, just stay there, but get here.

Speaker 38 Chaos.

Speaker 35 Here we go. Ready? Yep.

Speaker 67 What did we know?

Speaker 26 When?

Speaker 38 When?

Speaker 38 One to one.

Speaker 38 One to one.

Speaker 64 One to one.

Speaker 40 Hold his other hand, son.

Speaker 64 I'm not doing shit.

Speaker 35 Go.

Speaker 26 He's lifted up his arm.

Speaker 38 Go out, Jerry.

Speaker 36 Ow!

Speaker 26 You okay?

Speaker 73 What happened?

Speaker 40 What the fuck's wrong with you?

Speaker 83 What the fuck is wrong with you?

Speaker 59 Can't you arm wrestle?

Speaker 38 Oh, my God.

Speaker 39 Oh, my God. Look at that.

Speaker 24 He broke my skin.

Speaker 23 Yeah, with the pen.

Speaker 19 Here's the thing. Dirty.

Speaker 35 You're a poison ticked umbrella.

Speaker 19 Look, when I said I would win, what I'm telling you is I would win.

Speaker 19 I would use anything in the room to win.

Speaker 24 Yeah, you know what? You would. I think you would.
I think you're the best cheater.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 63 I don't call it cheating.

Speaker 52 Is it cheating when jason bourne

Speaker 26 uses

Speaker 52 he uses something in the kitchen when the russian attacks him and beats him

Speaker 27 he does use a pen but he uses the the pointy nib and you just took like the blunt curvy because i didn't

Speaker 50 look at that man i didn't want to hurt you

Speaker 6 do you realize if that if i'd use the sharp i thought about that you did you could have killed me i would like my dream is that all of you attack me at once that's my dream too Okay, I think so.

Speaker 26 That's weird.

Speaker 24 I think we all have the same dream.

Speaker 15 Oh, wow. Man.

Speaker 41 Still feels good. Part two.

Speaker 27 After all this time.

Speaker 48 Part two.

Speaker 35 Yeah, exactly. Adam, yeah, you Adam.

Speaker 9 Yeah, no, it will.

Speaker 47 I forgot how much he went after. He just totally dismissed.

Speaker 27 I think we need to have a tournament. Like, have you guys ever seen Over the Top the Stallone movie?

Speaker 27 And that's what I'm talking about when I reference those joysticks when you do professional arm wrestling.

Speaker 27 And so when you're doing it at truck stops, like I often am, you have to grab each other's hands underneath. That's how you do it.

Speaker 27 I defend this. And there are people online that will come to my defense on this.

Speaker 24 I think the interesting thing was you just assumed Conan knew that. That's true.
So that you like went to hold his hand and he just didn't understand what you were doing.

Speaker 51 I think nobody did.

Speaker 15 I think we were all like wired.

Speaker 35 Really? Yes.

Speaker 27 You guys got to get out, you know?

Speaker 24 To truck stops?

Speaker 27 Yeah, truck stops and dive bars and honky-tonks. It's like a switch.
Exactly.

Speaker 71 Yes.

Speaker 68 He turns his hat around and that's when he goes into it.

Speaker 27 But we need to have a tournament. How does that work? So you just everybody does, everybody arm wrestles everybody and then the winners proceed.

Speaker 15 Well, we have to go to the bottom.

Speaker 36 It's either round robin where we all

Speaker 26 have to.

Speaker 72 There's three choices.

Speaker 68 It's round robin where we all arm wrestle each other or we come up with heats into a bracket or we don't do it.

Speaker 24 I think the third option is probably the best. Honestly, that was, there was so much testosterone in that.

Speaker 24 segment which is rare for this room it is that's what is so crazy is that you guys are not like yo kick anyone's ass No, you're not. Nobody in this room is like that.

Speaker 24 But we had an entire segment where we just talked about whether or not we could all beat up Conan.

Speaker 37 I would like to do

Speaker 68 maybe this summer, you know, that now that we're talking about this, maybe a podcast Olympics to find out which one of us is the best podcaster.

Speaker 68 And it could be different events that aren't necessarily all, you know, who has the best.

Speaker 9 pronunciation of different words, perhaps.

Speaker 14 Oh, okay, maybe not.

Speaker 24 No, I didn't know what goes into being being a good podcaster.

Speaker 25 I stand only to lose mic technique.

Speaker 27 I've almost been doing this for 20 years, and if I don't win this, I'm gonna, that's a huge embarrassment.

Speaker 4 The stakes are high.

Speaker 68 I'm just saying it, it could lend itself to a competition, Eduardo.

Speaker 24 You're right, sure.

Speaker 35 I just

Speaker 48 thanks, buddy.

Speaker 37 What?

Speaker 15 You forget your retainer today?

Speaker 13 I'm a great podcast.

Speaker 24 I just love, I love your idea of like being a great podcaster is: do you enunciate and then do you have good mic technique?

Speaker 27 That also felt like a Conan joke to you.

Speaker 15 Oh, yeah,

Speaker 50 I know. Oh,

Speaker 36 I did not think of it.

Speaker 35 I was not. Yeah.

Speaker 24 That's true. I know.
Of all the things, I mean, obviously, I would lose that one.

Speaker 30 Cause also.

Speaker 27 Well, no, because Conan does this all the time. I'm constantly editing it out.
I'm constantly editing out his.

Speaker 57 Wow, you're going to lose.

Speaker 24 So you've been doing this for 20 years?

Speaker 7 Ashley believes that your home should be an expression of who you are.

Speaker 12 Sona,

Speaker 7 you've been working with Ashley recently.

Speaker 63 Care to tell us?

Speaker 29 Yeah, well, I'm an interior decorator now.

Speaker 20 You know what? I do think you have good style.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 24 Well, Ashley makes it very easy. Okay.
And then, you know, recently,

Speaker 24 sadly, we lost our house and we were living with my parents for four and a half months and my kids trashed the place. So my parents, we got them this dining set.

Speaker 13 It's really pretty.

Speaker 6 First of all, they look pretty durable, but they are.

Speaker 8 But your kids are, you know, they're very good at destroying things.

Speaker 24 They are, and they can't even destroy things.

Speaker 4 Why do you let your children have saws and hammers?

Speaker 15 It just feels like a mistake.

Speaker 35 I know.

Speaker 57 But that's beautiful.

Speaker 19 That's gorgeous.

Speaker 24 Yeah, they love it. It was really easy.
And because I'm an interior decorator, I also helped Blai with what he really badly needed, some new furniture.

Speaker 17 Trust me, all of Blais' furniture was just...

Speaker 56 old action figures duct taped together that's right into crude furniture shapes yeah not not comfortable at all yeah extra poking you and everything but you'd be like attack attack

Speaker 68 but thanks to Sona, she got me this fantastic sectional.

Speaker 9 Oh, look at that.

Speaker 68 Which is amazing. And due to Ashley's white glove delivery, came right to my door.

Speaker 56 And really, it is the nicest thing in my apartment. Yeah.

Speaker 14 It's really great.

Speaker 16 I mean, you don't have to convince this person.

Speaker 13 Yeah, we all do this.

Speaker 7 Very nice looking sectional.

Speaker 14 I'm telling you, you've got to believe me.

Speaker 45 All right.

Speaker 17 Shop the season with Ashley to make your home merry and bright before the holidays.

Speaker 11 Visit your local Ashley store or head to Ashley.com to find your style.

Speaker 50 Paramount Plus has so many movies.

Speaker 11 Paramount Plus has the movies you've watched so many times you can quote them.

Speaker 16 Iconic movies your friends can't believe you haven't seen.

Speaker 19 Dude, you didn't see that?

Speaker 29 I can't believe it.

Speaker 20 And the latest movies you'll need to talk about with your friends or co-hosts.

Speaker 11 I just saw that movie. I got to discuss it with others.
With Paramount Plus, you can watch the latest blockbusters, rewatch your favorite movements, or see how the reboot measures up to the original.

Speaker 3 Whether you're into Top gun or the naked gun, mean girls or mission, impossible, Smurfs or Sonic the Hedgehog, Paramount Plus has it all. And I say all.

Speaker 60 There's a mountain of movies to discover on Paramount Plus.

Speaker 11 Start streaming today.

Speaker 16 Speaking of Annunciation.

Speaker 27 Oh, that's right.

Speaker 27 And this was from a summer s'mores with Conzie and the Chill Chums, where we played the camp game, Chubby Bunny, which like holding hands under the arm wrestling, you guys didn't know or Conan didn't know.

Speaker 24 I didn't know about chubby bunny you guys you got to get to

Speaker 24 truck stops and summer camps well here's the thing I remember I remember you talking about how you learned about chubby bunny at summer camp but then I feel like shortly after you were saying you never went to school

Speaker 27 when I taught at an improv summer camp at Biola Bible College

Speaker 38 wait is this the same

Speaker 27 when you were also talking about when you kept getting homesick when you were that was a different improv camp that I taught in

Speaker 47 the you were saying that you were homesick at camp and then it turned out you were not a camper You were homesick at the camp.

Speaker 26 And you were in your 20s.

Speaker 14 I was a fully grown adventure.

Speaker 24 You said Viola? Wait, so that's not even, you weren't even that far from where you lived.

Speaker 27 No, it was La Marada, and I lived in Whittier, the next town to over here.

Speaker 35 No, I lived in Long Beach at the time.

Speaker 24 Oh, that's better.

Speaker 27 Also, this was an improv camp that was not affiliated with the Bible College. It just rented the thing.
But there's on that campus, there's a building with a photorealistic 40-foot-tall Jesus.

Speaker 27 And every time you're doing improv, you look up at this Jesus just staring down at you.

Speaker 24 Is he at least laughing?

Speaker 27 Oh, oh he's got a mouthful of marshmallows

Speaker 15 all right let's roll it

Speaker 27 when you guys were at camp did you ever play chubby bunny i don't know what that is you don't i don't know what that is okay we don't have to do this but this was just an idea that came up when we were discussing this season

Speaker 27 What happens is everybody takes a marshmallow, you put it in your mouth, and you say the words chubby bunny.

Speaker 27 And then we take turns adding a marshmallow each time until someone can't say chubby bunny anymore, and they're out.

Speaker 26 All right. Okay.

Speaker 24 Can we eat the marshmallow?

Speaker 33 You have to keep it in your mouth.

Speaker 26 All right.

Speaker 75 This is the game Marlon Brando was playing when

Speaker 44 he secured the role for the godfather.

Speaker 24 Can I keep drinking?

Speaker 16 Yeah. Will it dissolve the marshmallows?

Speaker 71 Oh, no, you can't drink.

Speaker 23 You can't drink.

Speaker 15 All right. So Sona's out.

Speaker 49 Chubby bunny.

Speaker 27 You can't swallow it. You can't chew it.

Speaker 33 You have to keep it in your mouth.

Speaker 48 Let me just hold up. That's all.
Let me duzzle a little bit.

Speaker 26 Let me stop up.

Speaker 71 You've never heard of this? No.

Speaker 75 God, you grew up in a strange way.

Speaker 57 I did. Yeah.

Speaker 16 You.

Speaker 26 No, no, no.

Speaker 75 I have strange tales and stuff, but there was no chubby bunny

Speaker 66 in my background.

Speaker 33 Who's played Chubby Bunny?

Speaker 64 Every hand goes up.

Speaker 57 Oh, my God.

Speaker 75 Eduardo's giving me the thumbs down.

Speaker 57 Never heard of it.

Speaker 24 Never played it?

Speaker 34 Never. Okay.

Speaker 23 Okay.

Speaker 26 All right. All right.

Speaker 2 Chubby Bunny.

Speaker 75 Wait, does that count as you saying chubby bunny?

Speaker 53 It doesn't sound like chubby bunny.

Speaker 79 She's out.

Speaker 62 She's out.

Speaker 75 First of all, you can't articulate things when you're.

Speaker 23 Chubby.

Speaker 59 Bunny.

Speaker 46 You should go in snake order.

Speaker 62 Yeah, snake order.

Speaker 36 Oh my god. Oh God, you're not acting

Speaker 26 down. I don't throw up.

Speaker 24 Remember, okay.

Speaker 57 Raw.

Speaker 66 This game brought to you by Dr. Heimlech.

Speaker 24 I was going to throw up.

Speaker 24 I was actually going to throw up. These are the biggest marshmallows of all time.

Speaker 79 Come on, girl, stop it in your mouth, Burly.

Speaker 26 Marshmallow.

Speaker 24 Oh God, there's so much spit there, girls.

Speaker 24 Oh my god, oh my god,

Speaker 24 a giant mouse.

Speaker 39 This is so dumb.

Speaker 39 This is the dumbest thing I've ever been a part of.

Speaker 24 I just love that you can't talk.

Speaker 26 What is coming up?

Speaker 26 It's so grotesque.

Speaker 73 Oh, God.

Speaker 26 It's so grotesque.

Speaker 39 Are you doing the Gettysburg dress?

Speaker 36 Yes, I am, which means I win.

Speaker 48 Because that's it.

Speaker 36 Oh,

Speaker 36 God. Oh.

Speaker 39 More napkins.

Speaker 24 How'd you guys do more than one?

Speaker 27 There's no winners in Chubby Bunny, only losers.

Speaker 82 I don't know why. I have one question.
Yeah.

Speaker 12 I developed this

Speaker 12 fastidious way of talking.

Speaker 57 I was going, achabe, a bonnet.

Speaker 82 And I wasn't even trying to,

Speaker 75 but in my effort to over-enunciate, it came out as, achabe, a bonne.

Speaker 82 And I wasn't trying to do that.

Speaker 26 It's just what happened.

Speaker 57 Could you tell it was the Gettysburg Address?

Speaker 79 Yeah, I could. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Speaker 62 Yeah. Well, there you go.

Speaker 24 Also, if there's anything you're reciting, it's usually the Gettysburg Address.

Speaker 24 Oh, man. Oh, my God.
Child drums is so fun. Yeah.

Speaker 27 Because we get to drink.

Speaker 24 Yeah, although this year, not until much later.

Speaker 36 I know.

Speaker 24 And so I remember just like downing those drinks you gave us. And I got pretty hammered pretty quickly.

Speaker 31 That's nice.

Speaker 24 Yeah. I made up for lost time.

Speaker 27 We got to change that rule for next year.

Speaker 24 We do, but I don't think Conan's going to want to.

Speaker 27 Well, he doesn't have to know.

Speaker 24 He's like, why do you guys have to get drunk? And because he's not, he doesn't, he can't hang with us.

Speaker 35 No, he can't.

Speaker 27 That's why you and I will pregame. Yeah.
We're going to go to Pachanga Casino.

Speaker 24 We're going to pregame there? Why can't we just go somewhere else?

Speaker 51 Okay, that's fine.

Speaker 25 That's fine, too.

Speaker 24 What was I going to say?

Speaker 24 Okay, so in order to promote the Chill Chumps, because we recorded it in Altadena, Ruthie and Sam are two of the awesome people in our marketing team, got in touch with the Al Tadena Chamber of Commerce.

Speaker 24 And then I ended up joining the Al Tadena Chamber of Commerce. And then very recently, I went to one of their events and I had a blast.

Speaker 33 Wait, don't you have to have a business to be in the Chamber of Commerce?

Speaker 24 You don't. Not in Al Tadena, at least.
I just was like a normal person and I just signed up to be in the Chamber of Commerce.

Speaker 27 What do you do? And what kind of blast did you have?

Speaker 24 Something called the sip and shop.

Speaker 14 Oh.

Speaker 14 Yes.

Speaker 24 And you sipped, you shopped, and then there was a live band and you could just dance and have a really nice time in Al Tadena. What did you sip?

Speaker 13 Wine?

Speaker 27 You paused.

Speaker 24 Yeah, I took shots.

Speaker 27 You guys Jaeger bombed.

Speaker 24 We did a Jaeger bomb. Oh, man.
I haven't done a Jaeger bomb in ages. We should do old school drinks that we don't do anymore.
Yeah. Like Long Island iced teas.
Yeah.

Speaker 27 Right.

Speaker 33 Sucks on the beach.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 24 Southern Comfort. I can't drink SoCo.
I can't do it because I still remember that one time I had a house party and threw up.

Speaker 27 Zima.

Speaker 46 For Loco.

Speaker 14 For Loco.

Speaker 30 That was more recent, though.

Speaker 27 I still got some.

Speaker 24 No, you don't. Do you really?

Speaker 13 I don't. Oh, okay.
All right. All right.

Speaker 24 Well, speaking of commerce.

Speaker 27 Oh, right very good that's right this last clip is actually not from the show itself but an ad and it's kind of become infamous it's the luxe bidet ad oh yeah which i have to admit i have never fully seen i've heard about it yeah but when i edit the ads are not in the episodes they are what's called dynamically inserted later and mars edits the ads so i've never really heard or seen this full thing so i'm very excited really

Speaker 24 i wasn't even i don't if this is the one that I think is the first one, I wasn't even

Speaker 24 Yeah, I wasn't even here for that.

Speaker 15 Wow. Okay.

Speaker 24 And so David was sitting in for me. And

Speaker 24 this is since then, we've done, I think, a couple other Lux Biday ads, but this was the first one. And this one is apparently, I don't know if I've ever listened to it all the way through either.

Speaker 47 We weren't sure how Lux was going to react. And listeners will.

Speaker 47 understand why after they, I think, see the clip or hear the clip, but they were so thrilled about it that they, you know, kept coming back and wanting more ads.

Speaker 35 Okay. They're crazy.
Jesus.

Speaker 6 Toilet paper has no business trying to battle the mess of a large holiday meal.

Speaker 4 Bidays, on the other hand, shoot a precise,

Speaker 58 what the fuck happened to me?

Speaker 6 I'm a good guy.

Speaker 6 I went to a good college.

Speaker 58 I worked hard. I wrote a thesis in college.
I wrote a thesis. I've worked hard for years.
I've raised a family.

Speaker 6 I've never gone to jail.

Speaker 83 I've never committed a crime. And here I am explaining how you gotta shoot water up your ass!

Speaker 83 That's ridiculous!

Speaker 83 Insanity!

Speaker 84 What did I do?

Speaker 83 What am I? Some kind of... I don't understand how did this happen.

Speaker 3 Toilet paper paper has no business trying to battle the mess of a large holiday meal.

Speaker 44 Do you know what they're implying?

Speaker 83 They're implying that if I eat a large holiday meal,

Speaker 83 I just am gonna, my bottom's gonna explode?

Speaker 27 Is it gonna be too much for any toilet paper?

Speaker 83 No toilet paper can handle that.

Speaker 84 No,

Speaker 83 you need a whole other device.

Speaker 36 I'm crying.

Speaker 83 You need a bidet

Speaker 83 that shoots water.

Speaker 83 No more smearing. It says says here on the copy, no more skid marks.

Speaker 83 What happened to this?

Speaker 84 A precise stream.

Speaker 83 A precise stream.

Speaker 83 Lux bidet. Oh, here we go.
Is the number one best-selling bidet bread. And I thought I had sold out.

Speaker 24 Did I just say they say people will laugh when they first see it?

Speaker 81 And we sure do.

Speaker 83 We haven't even seen it.

Speaker 83 3 million satisfied customers across the U.S. and over 150,000 five-star reviews on Amazon.
Who uses a bidet and then says, I've got to go give an Amazon review?

Speaker 83 I've checked back there seven times, clean as a whistle.

Speaker 83 This is.

Speaker 83 I'm going to keep going because people are laughing too hard. Lux Bidet offers a range of patented bidet models.

Speaker 21 Oh, really?

Speaker 83 Including the award-winning Neo Plus series.

Speaker 83 What does that do?

Speaker 83 Yeah, the bidet comes and finds you when it's time to poop.

Speaker 83 I think you should go.

Speaker 36 Really?

Speaker 83 I think you should go. That was a large burrito.

Speaker 83 Lux Bidet's Neo Plus series is the next generation of Bidet attachment with their 14 patented features. That's right.
Never before seen.

Speaker 84 This series features a 360 degree self-clean mode.

Speaker 83 Easy. 360 degree self-clean mode.
Are people spinning around on their ass?

Speaker 83 Easy lift design, fast slide in insulation, plus all the same features as their best-selling bidets.

Speaker 29 Oh my god.

Speaker 83 Then it says, please talk about what you, why you love your Luxe bidet.

Speaker 83 I don't have one,

Speaker 83 but this is my favorite ad ever. This is a fantastic ad, and this is going to go out as it is, or it won't go out.

Speaker 83 Get the gifts your friends and family will never forget this holiday season. Hey, grandma, wash your ass!

Speaker 83 Use code NA to get 20% off bidets at luxpadet.com. That's L-U-X-E-B-I-D-E-T dot com.
And code N slash A for 20% off.

Speaker 83 They made me spell bidet!

Speaker 38 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 68 Now, one of my favorite things about that ad that many people probably don't know is there's a person sitting in the back of that room. And Eduardo, do you want to explain who that person is?

Speaker 57 Shout out to Brendan Burns,

Speaker 80 who we had invited that day to come and sit in.

Speaker 46 Unbeknownst to me, I didn't know what Coding was going to be reading that day.

Speaker 27 And Brendan, you might hear him in the credits he mixes for this show. Yeah, but this was his first day to just kind of get a layer of studio.

Speaker 68 I met him right before that ad session. He had never sat in on a session with us before.

Speaker 46 and then this happens and it's really funny to watch the video and see Brendan like kind of looking around like should I is this is this how things are here this made a huge mistake really really really does kind of make you want to buy a bidet though I yeah

Speaker 47 I think so I think oh man I love that you can like Conan usually gets a stack of ads starts reading and sort of like is understanding in real time what the ad is and you can see him that's just not like discovering the what what he's reading an ad for as he's getting further and further into the copy.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 24 And I do going back to what you said about his improv, when he does ads, it is so because he is reading everything and saying everything as he's recording.

Speaker 24 And then the stuff he comes up with is just unbelievable, like in the spot.

Speaker 24 So it is, it is really, I mean, like, I didn't think I would enjoy doing ads for this podcast with him as much as I do, but I, I really love doing ads with him. Yeah.
It's really funny.

Speaker 27 Oh, God, that's so funny.

Speaker 24 you should get a luxe bidet me they should lit they should send us like 20.

Speaker 32 you know what because of this ad i got one and it is awesome well how'd you get one i bought one oh yeah they didn't give you i used the code because now we're giving them double

Speaker 24 this isn't even we're not even dynamic inserting this yeah

Speaker 48 this is just in there send us our bidets yeah i i haven't gotten a paycheck from this place since since 2003 so i just work here

Speaker 27 no we don't get paid uh well conan's a horrible boss, but he's a wonderful man. And we're thinking about you.

Speaker 24 Yes, we are. We are thinking of, I don't think he's going to be listening.

Speaker 27 No, but I'm just sending that out.

Speaker 33 I know he doesn't listen.

Speaker 24 Yeah, but you're right.

Speaker 27 But this hardly seems like the episode to trash talk him.

Speaker 24 That's true, but we have been.

Speaker 13 Yeah, we have.

Speaker 24 I will say it is really... obvious that he's not here.
He is our leader. He's just the, he always turns everything that we say into the funniest thing you could possibly hear.

Speaker 24 And I think that he's definitely definitely missed. I do like just the two of us being here.

Speaker 15 I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 41 You want to just go a little longer?

Speaker 65 I know. Why not?

Speaker 24 Let's just, how you been?

Speaker 65 I'm pretty good.

Speaker 25 How you been?

Speaker 24 Not bad. Not bad.

Speaker 13 Yeah. You got a bidet?

Speaker 24 I actually do.

Speaker 68 You do.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 25 On that seat right now?

Speaker 24 I installed it onto this seat, and I am sitting in Conan's seat. So he's going to come back with a nice surprise.

Speaker 27 Well, we'll be back next week with our favorite clips from all the interview guests.

Speaker 27 And we should mention: if you want to see these clips in their entirety, you can go to the Team Coco YouTube channel.

Speaker 27 So, what you've heard on almost all of these has just been a selected portion of a longer clip that you can watch on YouTube.

Speaker 25 All right, that's it.

Speaker 24 That's that's all that's all she wrote. Excuse me.
That's all she did. That's all she did.

Speaker 28 Who's she?

Speaker 72 She did it.

Speaker 24 She's Mrs. Podcast.

Speaker 27 From Mr. and Mrs.
Podcast, this this is Team Coco saying have a wonderful 2024.

Speaker 1 What's left of it?

Speaker 37 That was so awkward.

Speaker 24 Mine. That was so awkward.

Speaker 30 Whatever's left of it.

Speaker 24 Yeah. Thanks.

Speaker 24 Thanks for coming.

Speaker 69 Thanks for coming.

Speaker 27 Thanks for staying.

Speaker 27 Thanks for just being you.

Speaker 74 Yes.

Speaker 38 Thank you. Bye.

Speaker 24 We got to stop. Just let's do it.

Speaker 42 Let's end.

Speaker 27 Yeah. All right.
Thanks for listening, everybody.

Speaker 27 You don't want to add anything to that?

Speaker 62 Bye.

Speaker 24 We love you.

Speaker 24 Is that too much?

Speaker 27 Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonoma of Session, and Matt Gorley.

Speaker 33 Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

Speaker 27 Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes.
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

Speaker 27 Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Sambles. Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

Speaker 27 Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

Speaker 27 You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.

Speaker 27 It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at seriousxm.com slash Conan.

Speaker 27 And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

Speaker 78 Tis the season for tangled lights, traffic jams, never-ending to-do lists, and unannounced drop-ins from your in-laws or that one cousin that can't explain how you're related.

Speaker 45 And the result?

Speaker 78 You're not getting enough sleep. So this holiday season, let Coop Sleep Goods make your shopping easy so your nights are filled with stress-free sleep.

Speaker 78 They design sleep goods with one goal in mind, to help everyone sleep better.

Speaker 78 Gift their award-winning adjustable pillows, sheets made for five-star spas and resorts, or pillows made with cooling technology. This Black Friday, Coop is offering up to 60% off-site-wide.

Speaker 78 Shop thoughtful gifts they'll actually use every night. We know everyone needs a good night's sleep, so skip the holiday stress and leave the rest to Coop.

Speaker 78 Visit coopsleepgoods.com/slash comedy to get up to 60% off site-wide. That's C-O-O-P-SleepGoods.com/slash comedy.

Speaker 85 Hello, podcast friends.

Speaker 85 This is Elliot Kalin from Smartless Presents Clueless, interrupting your day to tell you that season two of Clueless has just launched with special contestants Max Silvestri and Gabe Leidman of the podcast I Need You Guys.

Speaker 85 In our first episode, I'm puzzling them with questions about the elements and the return of our game State of Confusion, where you you use state postal abbreviations to create a word that solves a fiendish clue.

Speaker 85 Listen to the latest episode of Smartless Presents Clueless, wherever you get your podcasts. You will never forgive yourself for missing it.