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That's my low voice.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to conan visit team coco.com slash call conan okay let's get started hi alejandra welcome to conan o'brien needs a fan hi oh my god hello i told myself to not freak out when i met you guys and look how that went It's okay.
You're allowed to freak out. That's okay.
Your name is Alejandra. Is this right? Alejandra Trigueros.
And where are you calling us from? Well, just call me Bob if you're going to say that. Everyone's a wise guy.
Alejandra, tell us, where are you right now? I in madrid spain oh my god madrid i've never been

to madrid yeah um really you should and barcelona everyone's been to barcelona i've been to bar thalona but i've never been to barcelona um i've been but i've never been to madrid and i would i would love to see it someday um alejandra tell us a little bit do you go by alejandra Mostly Ali

Ali, okay, Ali

Yeah, Alejandra sounds very serious

Like my mom, she gets mad at me. Okay.
So your English is perfect. I mean, you sound like you're coming to me from San Diego or something.
Thank you. It's perfect right now.
Or Cincinnati. Cincinnati.
Well, I'm saying you have a beautiful Cincinnati accent. It's amazing.
Hey, I'll take it. Over a thick local accent, I'll take it.
But Alejandra, how did your, I mean, you live, are you a citizen of Madrid? You grew up in Madrid? Yeah, I was born and raised here. Wow.
I speak English like this because I suffer from an acute overconsumption of American entertainment. We're seeing really acute.
That's good to say. Everything I get my hands on, podcasts, books, movies, TV shows, all the things.
Yeah. So when people ask me about my English and I tell them I read a little bit of gossip every now and then,

I see, see, it pays off.

That's funny.

People come to my English.

That's great.

So you just basically watched American television, listened to American podcasts,

and that has influenced, it's destroyed one of the most beautiful accents in the world.

Yeah.

Well, I did live with Americans for about three years, friends from New York.

Shout out to Michelle, Pauly, and Jamie. And I spent 24 hours with them, really.
Great. Can we make sure we edit out that shout out, please? I don't trust them.
Make sure it's edited out. I don't trust them.
They're gone. They're not.
I'm not friends with them. I don't know them.
Dead to us. Just put a big key over that shout out.
Not for any other, not for legal reason, just that I don't know them and they should get no free rides.

How about if I give you some credit?

You and Ellen

have also played a major role

because I've consumed

all the things,

all the clips

of your talk shows

that I could get

off the internet

because your shows

weren't shown here.

So when YouTube started,

I started watching

a bunch of Ellen

and YouTube suggested

some clips of your show.

And I was peeing my pants laughing.

Oh, that's so glad that I made you urinate.

Alejandra, many people think I am Ellen and many people go up to Ellen and say, hi, Conan.

So it's a common misconception.

Well, both pale, the hair color.

And you've said your womanly looks.

They're your words. These are my words.
These are my words come back to haunt me. Well, tell me a little bit about your life.
Mostly what I like to do is try and figure out how I can help my fans around the world. How can I help you, Alejandra? What can I do for you? I don't think I can do much.
You're very beautiful. You're obviously very smart, very well-spoken.
How can I help you?

So I'm 34. I have two kids.
I've recently had the second one as she's four months old. And I actually have a little beef with you because I was recently trying to get her to sleep and I listened to a lot of hours of this podcast.
and when I say you I mean the you. And recently, you guys made me laugh so hard that I woke up my newborn who had just gone to sleep after about 30 minutes of trying to get her to sleep.
I was like, oh my God, I hate them. Even though I love them.
You know what we should do? It's, I should speak less and you guys should speak more so that children can sleep. We should speak in soothing tones.
No, no, no. You mean so it's not as funny? Exactly.
I think when I'm talking, it's like... But I think you guys should take the lead.
Oh, well, I'm kind of shrill. So I think that it just should be gorely.
But you're really funny too. So maybe I should...
I don't know. No one should talk.
I think if we just use just kind of foggier voices like this. Now you just sound high.
I should maybe not be a listener. Yeah.
I wouldn't listen to the podcast. I've told many people you should not listen to the podcast while caring for a sleeping baby.
Because, I mean, the laughs are going to come. They just are.
They are. They are.
So, well, congratulations on having these two children and a newborn. That's a lot of work.
Or so I'm told. What did I do? Oh, my gosh.
Nothing. Really, nothing.
I was told by my wife you're to have nothing to do with these children. Yeah.
She wanted them to grow up without the Conan influence. so um but and so uh so are you are you taking care of them full-time or do you work so as of right now i'm taking care of the little one the big one is in school my husband's gone back to work but i go back to work october 14th after yeah we got we get about five months of maternity leave in Spain.
Wow. Wow.
So. It is a lot.
What is your, what is your, what is your profession? I am a legal counsel in the legal department of a big engineering multinational. I do international commercial contracting.
I'm boring myself by explaining this. Wow.
No, no, no. First of all, first of all, Alejandro, do not sell yourself short.
That is a... I am very impressed.
That is a very high-powered job you have. Thank you.
And I will tell you that's quite a lot. I mean, you have...
It sounds like your husband has a job. You have this very high-powered job.
You have two kids. That's a lot.
My job is intense, but it's also not as insane as it is to become a lawyer in the U.S. It's it's less years.
I studied about six years, whereas in the U.S. you have to do like four undergrad and then about three of grad school.
Then the LSATs are insane. Here's not as insane.
Although I won't. I'll take the compliment.
Yeah, Alejandra, you keep trying to convince me that you're not an impressive person. And yet you are clearly the smartest person out of the four of us in this room.
And you're not even in the room. You're not in the room and you're much smarter than we are.
OK, keep talking. That's a lot, though.
That's a lot to have. Yeah.
These and uh to to be legal counsel for this massive company that's big yeah it's pretty big like it's it's not a lot of sleeping it's a lot of stressing a lot of cortisol pumping all the time yeah um so yeah it's a bit intense i do uh go to a fair amount of restaurants i'm obsessed with food i grew up in a family that talks about nothing other than food. So I make a point of taking some space for myself, going to restaurants, trying delicious food, going out with friends.
So I do manage to get some space for myself. Otherwise, I'd be a thing.
I'm impressed by that because not that I'm throwing her under the bus or anything, but when my children were born, my wife said no restaurants, no movies, no joy for anyone until they're 12 years old and kind of locked it down, kind of locked it down. and so we're just sort of, they're both in college now

and we just,

we're just sort of, they're both in college now and we just, we're just now going outside again. And I remembered, oh, that's the sun.
Look at the sun. That burning orb in the sky.
But anyway, I love my wife. No, I'm the racist kid.
Shut it down. That's so nice.
My wife was not, we were not going to restaurants

for quite a while.

Yeah.

Is that because she was tired

or she didn't want to,

like, was afraid

of what your kids would do

in the restaurant?

Oh, she just didn't want to

leave the kids behind.

Oh, I see.

When kids are young,

I mean, you're not taking

your kids to,

I think, first of all,

in Spain,

correct me if I'm wrong,

but in Madrid,

don't you start eating,

the time to start dinner, I think is at 2 o'clock in the morning. Isn't that when you guys have dinner? It is fairly late.
Not 2 a.m., but it is fairly late. What time do you eat dinner? Like a regular dinner that's not too early, not too late would be at 9.
9, yeah, starting at 9. I'm asleep by then.
No, no, I'm serious. My wife.
Yeah, my foreign friends want to book tables at seven and the restaurants aren't even open. No, no, no.
They'll tell you the earliest, earliest table they have is at 830. Oh, boy.
This is a true thing. The McDonald's in Madrid, they all serve breakfast.
They start at five o'clock in the afternoon. That's a true story.
You can't have it before then. lunch is at six o'clock and then you can't get a big mac i don't think till 4 a.m they're all insane um it's not called the big mac and spin it's called it's called the conquistador yeah my husband's foreign and he does not do well with our eating schedule here where is your husband from from poland okay he's from poland so he must think these people are crazy they're going out to have these says it often full i mean these are elaborate meals too right you're having elaborate meals in elaborate restaurants yeah what time do you go to bed and are you going to bed just in full digestion mode where no i think people go to bed at like 11 p.m so if you have dinner at like seven then you're really hungry by the time you go to bed no uh no no i give it a shot i think you're just different people there i'm telling you that it's a it's a whole different culture they're different people they massive meals very late at night.
I love that. Yeah.
In theory, I love that. I love that.
Well, first of all. Yeah, lunch also happens late.
So, okay. You go out to these meals.
Is your husband coming with you on these meals when you go out? Mostly we take turns to go out with friends. Because if both of us leave, then it's a whole thing.
Either my mom, the nanny, like it's too much. So I'm mostly looking for space with my friends.
Okay, that's all right. This also sounds familiar.
You don't want to spend time with your spouse, but with your friends. Yes, my wife did a lot of that as well.
Conan, why don't you stay here,

and people who make me laugh can have dinner with me.

It was all your friends.

It was all my friends.

It was you guys.

Liza was always saying,

I'm meeting Matt and Sona.

At the best times of our lives. At the Hunky Dory, that bar in the corner.
Sona, where else can you go surfing and skiing the same day, huh? I don't know Or check out a world-class art museum and then camp at a dark sky sanctuary that night, huh? Yeah Yeah, where else can you hike through Redwoods and then get a luxury spa treatment? Where? Well, you live there. California.
California, Sona. I love California.
No matter where you go across the state, you'll find a way to play. I'm a California resident.
Sona, you are a lifelong California resident. I'm a lifer.
I love this place. This is a beautiful state.
Gorgeous. So many different, wonderful ecosystems in one state.
You can hang out by a Palm Springs pool. You know, you can go whale watching.
You can go hiking in Yosemite. And then talk about the great cities in California.
You get all this amazing food, sushi, whatever you want. They got it in California.
Hey, if you can't find it in California, man, you got a problem. Yeah.
I shouldn't have done that. I made that up on my own.
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So, Alejandra, let me understand this. You have this big job.
You have two young children, a husband, but you also like to go out to eat. This all sounds, it says a lot to balance, isn't it? This is a lot to juggle.
It is. I do have mental breakdowns a bit often, to be honest.
Yeah. But I'm still short of managing sanity.
Yeah, yeah. I can make it look like I'm sane.
Yeah. No, I do that too.
Yeah. I do that all the time.
Really, do you? Yeah. Not so good.
The wheels are coming off the trolley. Yeah off the trolley um so uh it must be hard to balance all of that is what i'm guessing it's just hard yeah i don't get a lot of free time but sometimes self-care just isn't so easy and you have to make time for yourself or else i feel a lot more guilty when i lose my patience because i haven't had any oxygen or space yes and when i go out or go for a massage go for friends.
So it's really important. You know, there's an old saying that when you're on an airplane and the oxygen masks drop down, you've got to put yours on first before you put it on the child.
Or else you can't help. And my theory has always been, I take both masks.
I put both masks on.

A child's got smaller

lungs. They'll figure

it out. They don't need as much.

Right? And God forbid,

but you can get another child

somewhere. So that's always

been my point. You can get another

child somewhere. Well, I don't know.
You know

what I mean? Whatever. They come along.

So my point, Alejandra,

is you need to take

much more time for yourself

I love you should be having dinner starting at nine. Then I think you shouldn't feel any guilt.
I think you should hit the clubs afterwards. And you'll see the kids.
I'm too old for that now. Yeah, you'll see.
You're too old. I just got to the clubs.
Yes, I am. Oh, no.
I just hit the age when I think I'm ready to go to the clubs. I never went to the clubs before.
I missed out and I want to go to the clubs now. Are you talking about golf clubs? No.
I'm talking about the clubs. Did you think you were too young before to go? Like when you were like.
I just didn't know where they were. No one told you where they were.
People were very evasive when I said, where's the clubs? And they'd be like, I don't know. We got to go.
And they were all dressed and they had glow sticks and stuff.

I never went to a club.

And now I think this is the time.

Once I hit 60,

I thought now is the time to hit the clubs.

Better late than never.

This is the sweet spot.

Sona, are you doing any clubbing,

having twins,

sets and dance?

I'm not,

but it did take me a while

to get back to like the thing.

And then a couple days ago,

I had not a couple days,

a couple weeks ago, I hit a milestone where I threw up from drinking too much and i was like i remember that feeling and then another time hey mom congratulations and then very recently i i was i was out with a friend i got too high i had to leave my car there and i took a lift home you know i'm back i'm back baby you're being young again. Young and hip again.
Your children are nowhere to be found, but you're back. Yeah.
Yeah. And like you, I go out and then tackle stay home with the boys.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because you've got to get super drunk. Matt, are you doing any? No.
Matt, yeah. We had like two drinks and that was it.
His club is probably a historical society

where they talk about, you know,

Eisenhower's contributions to the highway system

in the 1950s in America.

If only I could get into that.

He is so very cultured.

That is true.

Oh, no.

I don't go to clubs.

They come to me.

Nice.

They sure do.

Nice.

Smooth.

He thinks Grubhub is a club.

It rhymes, doesn't it?

Yeah.

He thinks that when he gets his sandwich delivered.

Club Grubhub.

Alejandra, if let's say you and I were to hang out, let's say, and this is all theoretical,

but let's say I were in Madrid and you and I were to hang out.

How would you want me

to help you how could i assist you how could i improve your life so i would love to since i'm obsessed with food and american comedy it would be amazing for me if we shared a meal one of those long meals maybe lunch if you don't want to have dinner so no dinner sounds good dinner sounds good Oh, well, then dinner.

Yeah.

Because we're both young and hip and club.

Thank you so much for saying that so you're a you're a you're a you're a young attractive woman who is willing who thinks that i'd be the perfect guy to have a late dinner with in madrid and then hit the clubs is that what you're saying? Why not? Yes. Why not? Why not?

Oh, hold on.

Let me take out my list here. No, but like by having dinner with me, you'd make me laugh to do it.
Trust me. When I was single, a shrug and a why not was the best I could get.
What is Spanish? How do you say in Spain? How do you say why not yeah so i mean i think if i had grown up in madrid my adolescence and all through my 20s and 30s would have been a lot of women going was it was it liza will you marry me why not yeah That was in our vows. Her vow, she said, why not?

I said, I do.

She said, why not? I don't not. Yeah, during my meal, I would ask you, which connects with the question that I wanted to ask you, to do a bit of your thing because it makes me laugh.
And also I'd ask you the question, making me laugh and sharing your wisdom my question is since you have such a big legacy in american comedy and like you have such a demanding job you were doing a show every day yeah and plus it's late night so how'd you like when you had kids with and you're also a family man and you're known for being a discreet celebrity that hasn't you know had any horrible stuff with the press like you haven't had any talk of gerbils yes we suppressed all talk of gerbils yeah yeah it was a monitor lizard and i paid that fucker off he gets50,000 a year to keep his goddamn mouth shut.

It's so scaly.

Oh, my God.

The scales are the best part.

You know when those things get scared, their tails pop off.

You bet they do.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God. What an orgasm.

You were the lizard.

I'll say it was for me, but the lizard didn't look unhappy. Let's just say we both smoked a cigarette afterwards.
Anyway, Alejandra, we somehow went astray. We.
I don't know how you took me down this road. But so your question, you said a lot of nice things for me, but you didn't quite.
What is the question?

Yeah.

The question is, when you have kids and your family grow, how do you manage coming to terms with the fact that you were going to miss out on stuff at home with your wife and the kids or at some fancy party at work?

Because to balance it all, you need to miss out on stuff here and there.

So how was that for you?

Well, I have an agent and a manager. And they did a lot of checking in on my children.
Gavin Pallone, Rick Rosen. And they would check in on the kids and they would occasionally text me and say, the boy seems good.
The girl seems sad. And then we would get into the financials about how the business was doing and the ratings and things like that um i have to say all joking aside uh i hit the jackpot with uh with my wife liza because she uh is an impeccable uh mom and she just did an incredible job and so i did miss out on things because i was working a lot.
I tried to be there for important stuff.

But yeah, there were it really helps to have a partner who is fantastic.

And it sounds like your husband does.

Yeah.

And it sounds like your husband does a great job. And so my my rule is find an amazing partner and then totally screw them over.

Leave them with the kids and eat as late as possible in madrid that's my rule then i'm good yeah now who do you now uh do you have close family that you dine with as well i do my obsession with food came from my dad my dad is to say obsessed would be selling it sure he talks about nothing other food. The minute he learned my husband was from Poland, the first thing he mentioned was some soup they make in some region.
He knows so much about food and wine and all the restaurants that are going to open and that then become trendy after. Conversations in my house were nothing other than this sauce, books about food everywhere, all the food critics, books.
So yeah, I have a lot of close friends. My brother's a chef at a fancy restaurant.
So I have a lot of people that I've done with. So Alejandra, theoretically, if I were to be in Madrid and if you and I were to go out to a very late dinner at a nice restaurant, would your father come as well? And how would that go? I don't think I would invite him.
Why? Because he would then start talking to you about food, monopolize the conversation. Oh, wait.
Are you saying that someone could monopolize a conversation with me? You really think so? He's a worthy adversary. Yeah.
So that's why I would insist that he come along. You tell Papa Blabbermouth that the big guns are coming to town, okay? I think I'm a world champion gabber, and I would insist that he come to dinner.
My mom would swear that it isn't possible to outdo my dad. I bet I can out talk your dad.
I bet I can talk. And here's the great thing.
Your dad knows a lot. He has great knowledge.
I know nothing about food. I know nothing about the food in Madrid.
And yet I will talk three times as much as your father about this stuff I I know nothing about, but your stuff is funnier though. So yeah, I don't, I'm not worried about that part.
I think I don't know who this guy is, but I think I got him covered on comedy, but I will talk much more than your father. I will dominate the conversation and I will make it all about me.
That's my promise to you. Doesn't that sound fun?

Maybe him and you should go and I am not invited.

No,

no,

I need you there.

I need you there as the buffer.

Okay.

I need you there as the buffer.

So,

okay.

Maybe we invite him.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think it's you,

me,

your father.

I think it's a very late dinner,

traditional dinner at a nice restaurant,

uh,

in,

in Madrid.

And,

uh, Thank you. father i think it's a very late dinner traditional dinner at a nice restaurant uh in in madrid and uh i will dominate the conversation and i will also um ask my wife for some wisdom about raising children because i i you know she's the one that knows i'm not even i can't remember their names right now stewart stew Stuart? What is Stuart? No, that's family.
That's family guy. Stewie.
Stewie, yeah. That's a family.
That's from a cartoon. I'll find their names.
I'm going to be able to give you great advice on raising children. Okay? Okay.
I'm delighted to meet you, Alejandra. And I do hope we get to have a meal someday.

I want your father there

because he's not going to get one word

out of his boca.

That's mouth.

Nice.

Edward, that's mouth.

Anyway, Alejandra, very nice to see you.

Very nice to meet you. Thank you, guys.
You're a very impressive person congratulations on all of your achievements and I hope we cross paths that would be fun I hope so thank you guys bye to the three of you thank you for all the entertainment elapsed bye Alejandra bye Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien Sonam Avsessian and Matt Gourley produced by me Matt Gourley Thank you. Bye.
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