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Okay, let's get started. Okay, knock it off you two.
Hi, Mike. Welcome to the show.
Well, thank you very much. Thank you for having me.
Hello, Mike. It's good to talk to you.
Tell us, Mike, where are you talking to us from right now? Where are you in the world? I am in Lake Placid, New York, up in the Adirondack Mountains. I don't know if you've been here before, but it's a beautiful spot.
I've been here for about 20 years. I'm raising three wonderful kids, and I get to work out in the woods of the Adirondack Mountains all the time.

This sounds kind of perfect.

I have been up to Lake Placid.

And of course, Lake Placid, am I correct?

Is that the 1980 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid?

1980 and 1932.

Yes.

Okay, I wasn't around for that one.

Potentially 2026 for the sliding sports. We're going to find out.
I just got the word about that. It's not happening.
I'm the first one they talk to. The sliding sports? Yeah.
I'll tell you later. It's a whole thing.
I'm on the board. But.
Bobsled luge. Oh, those.
Yeah. The sports where you lay still and gravity does it all.
Oh, come on.

Well, I'm sorry, but it is.

Just stay really still and you might get a gold medal.

Wow.

Don't move.

Remember we just had a bobsledder on this?

Oh yeah, that guy was full of shit.

Hey, I stayed really still and I won.

Good for you, bobsledder.

Look, this got off to a bad start and I apologize, Mike, but I do think Lake Placid is a beautiful place and also home of the Adirondack Chair.

I'm going to say the Adirondack Chair is the best outdoor wooden chair one can have.

It gives you the most back support.

Hot take.

Yeah, that's my hot take.

I know what's yours.

I don't know very many others.

Okay, go ahead. So, Conan, why have you not used the Adirondack chair for the Subway S'mores then? Well, we should have an Adirondack chair the next time we're outside and I'm going to demand one.
And then I want to keep it at the end of the night and I don't want to pay for it. I want it to be courtesy of the Team Cocoa Machine, which means basically it ends up coming out of my mind.
I know some people who make Adirondack chairs. So if you decide to go with it.
I just think that's a fantastic chair. The Adirondack chair.
Check it out. It is.
It is. Tell us, what do you do? What is your profession? How do you make your way in this cruel world? About 10 years ago, I founded a company called The Forest Farmers.
We and my business own, uh, 10,000 acres of forest land here in the Adirondacks and Vermont. Wow.
And we collect sap from lots of different tree species and turn it into syrups and sugars and all sorts of, uh, beverages and delicious food. And so basically, uh, let me cut to the chase.
You're in the maple syrup business, not just maple syrup, but other tree syrups as well, yes. Maple syrup is our number one thing.
I didn't know there were other tree syrups. What other tree syrups are there? We do birch, beech, and walnut, and there's another five species that we could do, but we're not in the right part of the country to do that.
Okay. That's strange to me.
I mean, maple is the go-to, and it's suddenly like you're saying, oh, no, there's another kind of Kleenex other than Kleenex. There's Zorzabar tissues.
So describe what does it taste like? How is it different, beech, from maple? Or is that just an impossible thing to describe? No, no. So every different tree syrup tastes a little bit different.
Some are very different than others. And it has to do, you know, a lot of types with the types of sugars that are present in the sap and then how you boil it down.
And so beach syrup tastes similar to maple, but with more like a raisiny fig type of complex to it. I'm glad you asked this because actually we have a syrup taste test to do.
I have no palate. Let's bring them in.
We have syrups here that we're going to try. Syrups.
This is fantastic. Now, I sent...
Yeah. So, I had sent syrups for each of the three chill chums.
Oh, wow. So, they each have a syrup.
Oh, look at this. This looks like Jager bombs.
That is each, you know... Oh, wait.
Should I wait till we do it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's wait.

Let's wait. Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

You can take us through this, Mike.

Oh, I see.

Each one, I understand.

We don't each get a plate.

Each plate, yes.

So move the plates to the middle.

And so you have your birch, you have your maple.

What's that one right over there?

This is pure maple.

Oh, man.

That's a maple walnut. There's a pure maple, which is pure maple oh man that's a maple walnut there's a pure maple which is the traditional one and then a maple walnut okay that one's for gnarly i think what we're gonna do is um i have a i just want to have a few more questions before we start tasting which is um i know when i was a kid i was tasting what i thought, but it wasn't.
It was the stuff that you get at the supermarket. Basically, in the 60s and 70s, we were lied to.
What was I eating? Not just the 60s and 70s. We're continually being lied to.
The vast majority of people in the U.S. consume the fake stuff.
the know the aunt jemima mrs butterworth log cabin all that stuff so mrs butterworth mrs butterworth is a liar is what you're saying does she not even exist was she a real person is she miss i saw mrs butterworth move on a kitchen table she's got to be real. I always assumed she was a very small person whose body was filled with syrup.
Yeah. Yeah.
Next you're going to say, you know, Eggo waffles aren't real waffles. Okay.
Let's not do that. I'm sorry.
That's just slanderous. That's like saying there's no Santa Claus.
You're such a conspiracy theorist. So anyway, that's just basically sugar and what? What is it? Well, it's corn syrup, high fruct an artificial maple flavor and a bunch of preservatives what happened to this country yeah this country was founded on something important and now we've lost our way but you're going to bring it back because you're talking about real syrups syrups well conan i know you're you're a huge history buff you bet i am civil war not just civil war just Civil War.
Don't pigeonhole me. I know all histories.
Oh no! God, I think he got mad at me when I said not just Civil War, we lost his connection. We'll get it back.
Don't worry. It's a matter of time.
This is tough because I really want to drink these syrup. It looks so good.
Is there something that can be dipped? Let's start with the pure. I know.
We'll start with the pure making syrup. Should we go ahead and do it? No, no.
We're going to wait until he comes back, but we can at least distribute. Okay.
If I had access to this much syrup, I'd take a bath in it. Oh, I don't think you would.
Too bad we're not. I'm going to keep that in.
I'm going to keep that in the podcast. We're not recording anymore.
We are still recording. It's not rolling, for sure.
It doesn't matter. It's the band's gone.
You know what I love? I'm going to put that part in. This guy up in the northern reaches of New York who gets syrup out of a tree, his computer went down.
Big shock. His computer is made of balsa wood.
It probably runs on sap. You know? There's like a falcon.
What's that? I'm reading this thing. This is dark, robust maple syrup for Sona.
Since she is traditional and sweet. Oh, that's so nice.
Oh, so these are each tailored to us. Normal syrup that we make it on Earth.
Yeah, but we're all going to taste all of them, I think. So the first one is the pure maple.
Can you read that again? Yours is nutty. Probably real nutty.
All right, well, listen. this gentleman is not with us at the moment.
Can he hear us?

I don't think so. He's not on yet.

Well, I just think this gentleman who we're talking to, Mike, who makes the maple syrup,

his connection has gone down because they don't think they have Wi-Fi yet in Lake Placid, New York.

And that's going to cost them the Olympics if they can't get it together.

How will people luge without Wi-Fi?

Yeah. Yeah.
There's no way to luge. You can't luge.
It's a no luge without wifi yeah there's no way to luge

you can't luge

it's a no luge situation

why am I laughing

so hard at that

you're laughing

because the fumes

from the syrup

he'll be back anytime now

and you know what

I don't know who sets

these things up

but I'm sure

I cheated

is it Eduardo

who tests the signal

it's a team effort

team effort

I see

well that's a nice way

to throw people

under the bus

I didn't say

who was on it to you

I said

Thank you. but I'm sure I cheated is it Eduardo who tests the signal it's a team effort team effort

I see

well that's a nice way

to throw people

under the bus

I didn't say

who is on the team

I said

I'm part of the team

okay don't worry about it

and listen

you won't be blamed

Aaron Blair

for okaying a connection

that isn't there

can't we send

these people equipment

is there a way to get

I just

I took a sip

oh you cheaters

I know

you're not supposed to

taste ahead of time

I can't help it

it's really good

you should just

take a little

take a little

no I play by the rules

of the a way to get. I took a sip.
Oh, you cheaters. I know.
You're not supposed to taste ahead of time. I can't help it.
It's really good. You should just take a little.
Take a little. I play by the rules.
He's the older sibling on Christmas morning that won't let us go look at our gifts. I remember those days.
Teacher, you forgot to give us homework assignment. There he is.
Hey, you're back. You're back.
I'm back. Hey, good.
And listen, Mike, I want you to know that I take responsibility for that system going down. And when I say I take responsibility, I mean my bad team.
I think you're going to blame it on Eduardo or Sona. Yeah, it's Blay and Eduardo.
We call them Bledwardo. Wow.
Bledwardo's a beast that screws everything up. We drink so much water every day

and it's just water.

And I'm like,

hello, boring.

Yeah.

There's got to be a way

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And I regret that time. It's boring.
You'll never get that back.

I'll never get that time back.

Three full glasses of water.

I wish it was Waterloo.

And I could have had,

what did you have,

raspberry?

You know what?

What's that one?

Cracking open a peach right now.

Okay, well,

you could have offered that to me.

You just ate a second

when I haven't had one.

Oh, sorry.

Nice.

Thanks a lot.

I'm so thirsty.

Were you working tomorrow?

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I've used this. You've used it to chill? Yeah, they sent us one and I took it.
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Thank you.

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It was a rager by my friend Rodman. Yeah, yeah.
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Cheers to 50 years of Miller Lite, the greatest tasting light beer for people who love beer since 1975. Yeah.
You know what I say? What? I say it's Miller time. I do.
It's the 50th anniversary of Miller Lite. Did you know that? I didn't.
So many times, whether I've been out at sea. Oh, okay.
Yeah. You know, on someone's yacht and I'll crack open a Miller Lite or whether I'm scaling a volcano.
Oh, yeah. It's about to erupt because that's the best time to see a volcano when you can feel the tremors and I crack open a Miller Lite.
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Okay, so we're about to taste the

which is the first one we're tasting? Pure maple

syrup. Pure maple syrup.

And tell us

Thank you. Okay, so we're about to taste the, which is the first one we're tasting? Pure maple syrup.
Pure maple syrup. And tell us, when was this harvested? What's the best time to get that maple syrup? Is it the winter? Well, actually, the best time is right now.
We're in the middle of maple season. Let's taste it right now.
No doubt about it, yes. Mmm, that's delicious.
Good Mmm. That is heaven.
That is so good. That is so good.
The texture. Oh.
Oh, my God. It's just like Mrs.
Butterworth. There's something so wonderful about drinking out of a shot glass, too.
Well, again, that feeds into your alcoholism. It sure does.
I can't take too much of it straight. Wow, Sona.
I know. I don't know how you do it.
You just have a little bit, yeah. I just i'm a hummingbird i will just drink that is fantastic that is uh i mean the taste the texture well because it's it's not the fake stuff right so the fake stuff is what people are used to but when you get the real thing it's you know that much yeah yeah once you've had hey once i've had this you can't go back you know i can't go back you have two you have two others to try all right what's the next one you want us to try there's maple walnut and then there's birch well okay okay so birch is much different than maple maple walnut is very similar to maple it's just let's do that next well i i can't talk about it supposed to...
Okay, let's do maple... Are we supposed to clear our palate? Like with some...
Oh, yeah. Take a little water.
Maybe just take a little sip of water. Oh, yeah.
Okay, sure. Yeah.
Let's read the description here. Maple walnut syrup.
Matt's syrup is made from the sap of maple and walnut trees. It's mostly sweet, but just a tad...
Stupid. Just a tad but nutty and...
Excuse me. I'm just reading what he wrote.
In honor of Professor Gorley. Thank you, Mike.
Conan, you go screw. Go screw.
Okay, here we go. Oh my.
Oh, I really like that. Oh my.
I can taste the difference. I can taste the walnut.
Oh, that is so good. I love that you have the walnut, the walnutty.
It's got that just little nutty something. Yeah, nuts.
That's for Gourley, because everybody loves Gourley, right? You passed around. Who are you asking? Thank you, Mike.
Were you chatting up a bear in the woods? An elk come by? It's like, I like Gourley. Oh, I'm so happy.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
I really gotta say I love drinking myself there. That's just...
It's staying in there. She's so thick.
She's thick. So, can I...
Jesus, look at her go. You're like a...
You're a monster. I'm so happy.
You're not even drinking all of it. I can't.
I can't take that much pure. That's a lot of syrup, yeah.

I can't do it.

You don't need to drink at all.

I like to get little tastes.

No problem.

You're the person that goes to the wine tasting

and just drains the whole bottle.

It's true.

And they say, you know, you spit in this barrel

and then you drink out of the barrel.

Oh, this smells very different.

Okay, read your-

So Conan, it's very different.

And this one is definitely for you, Conan.

This is for Conan since it's made from very tall white birch trees.

And this syrup has a reddish hue.

It is sweet and fruity, but slightly acidic with very unique flavors.

That is me.

This is a good description of me.

Oh, man, I'm so happy.

Is birch syrup going to catch on, do you think?

I hope so, if I have a great spokesperson oh no oh no oh no oh my no this is me but you're not supposed to you're not supposed to have no you're not supposed to have birch syrup on its own so i was gonna try to like um warn you that like people just don't drink birch syrup like you

wouldn't just like drink a balsamic vinaigrette you know what i mean oh okay so it's used in cooking like it's not like something you pour on pancakes you just like oh take shots of so like when you have a little bit why did you tell us that afterwards well because you cut me off and didn't let me say.

You were so excited to drink yourself.

It was in glasses that were presented to us at a tasting so how did i fuck that up that's uh tangy yeah it's a it's a common um it's a very common uh reaction so but when you have birch syrup on like salmon or pork or chicken it is delicious oh i could see that it's how you use it you have to you have to use it in cooking it's not something you would just drink like nobody would just drink like i said balsamic vinaigrette yeah you'd have to pour it into cups at a tasting um and have it be the third thing you tasted for someone to accidentally drink it it's kind of accurate because, because you on your own, you're a lot. But with me and Gourley, I see what's happening.
The steak. We compliment you.
And the salad. The taste of Gourley was fantastic.
The taste of Sona was amazing. And then when you two were quiet, and we had a little bit of Conan, it was repellent.
Yeah. It was sour.
Okay. It was only supposed to be slightly acidic, not fully acidic.

I wouldn't say that acidic is the only issue.

How's it selling, the Burt syrup?

How's it going?

The Conan one.

So, yeah, the Conan one.

Don't pass up.

Let's move away from it. That's the name.
The package. Let's move away from that name get it on the bottle let's call it the jordan um it is uh let me do let me do a little favor here pal i'm i'm and i don't know much about business and such i would put 99.9 of your business into the two maples, the walnut maple and the regular maple.
I would try, would you have a facility where you make the birch? Yeah, we do. Yeah, blow it up.
Actually, blow it up. No, I'm just saying.
Just blow it up. We do.
Big blow up. Big blow it up.
Explosion. We do put most of our effort into maple.
That is our number one thing. Good, good.
Yes. But the birch sap runs after maple, and we have a lot of customers that do actually appreciate birch for its unique flavors that use it in cooking.
There are lots of different chefs that use it. I can imagine.
If you're grilling and base that on there, oh, that'd be so good. No answer would come around.
Of course, anybody who just has it by itself, it's not just something you normally just drink. And then we also have a lot of people that buy it for just the sap as a beverage because that's what's been used for centuries.
People drinking birch sap in the springtime is like a spring tonic. It's delicious just as a sap right out of the tree.
Is that where birch beer comes from? Birch beer, there's lots of different types of birch beer, but the birch beer that came out of America was actually the distillate of sweet birch or black birch in Pennsylvania. It has like an oil of wintergreen that's grown in the trees.
And that's what they made the birch beer from. Okay.
Well, it probably took a stand and unproductive. I was going to say, I've never heard of birch beer.
Oh, birch beer is pretty common. Okay.
Yeah, no. It's out there.
You've had birch beer before. No, is that an East Coast thing? I don't drink much.
Yeah, it's a Northeast thing more than conan was growing up too yeah when i was growing up every now and then my grandfather would pull up in his model t and say let's go get a birch beer and then on the way back we'd vote for warren harding for president see out here we just have beer we just have beer you nerd okay well okay well i guess i'm the fool in this equation well um I mean. This is a, you have mostly a thriving business, I think.
Mostly. Be wary of the birch syrup and put a warning on the label.
Do not drink, okay? Just put a warning on the birch syrup label that it's not to be, you know, no one should drink it. Yes, yes.
Oh, you know what, better yet, put my face on it and no one's going to drink it. I what better yet put my face on it no one's gonna drink it I think if we put your face on it everybody would wanna buy it no we've tried that with other products yeah really we have a Conan fire extinguisher and in fires people won't use it we have a Conan intubator and people that are dying won't use it anti Anti-Paul Newman.
Okay, that's nice.

You win this round soon.

Oh, Conan's own.

Conan's own proceeds are stolen from charity.

Yeah, all my money is taken from kids' camps.

The ship is sinking.

Quickly, grab the life preservers.

They're Conan's own life preservers.

I'd rather die.

I choose to drown.

Well, Mike, you're a good guy.

You've got a nice business.

I envy you living up there in Lake Placid.

Those are cold winters, but what beautiful country.

What a beautiful place to be from.

And congratulations on the upcoming possible Olympics

where people remain perfectly motionless and yet are given the highest prize possible in athletics.

I think that's it.

It was a pleasure, Mike.

We're going to go make some griddle cakes and pour two of these three syrups onto it.

And then afterwards not use the Conan defibrillator.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, thank you very much, Mike. Take care.
Bye. Okay, thank you.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovcesian, and Matt Gourley.
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