Conan's Own

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Speaker 1 Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/slash call Conan.
Okay, let's get started.

Speaker 2 Knock it off you two. Hi, Mike.
Welcome to the show.

Speaker 3 Well, thank you very much. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 Hello, Mike.

Speaker 2 It's good to talk to you. Tell us, Mike, where are you talking to us from right now? Where are you in the world?

Speaker 3 I am in Lake Placid, New York,

Speaker 3 up in the Adirondack Mountains. I don't know if you've been here before, but it's a beautiful spot.
I've been here for about 20 years.

Speaker 3 I'm raising three wonderful kids, and I get to work out in the woods of the Adirondack Mountains all day.

Speaker 2 This sounds kind of perfect. I have been up to Lake Placid, and of course, Lake Placid, am I correct? Is that the 1980 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid?

Speaker 3 1980 and 1932.

Speaker 2 Yes. Okay.
I wasn't around for that one.

Speaker 3 Potentially 2026 for the sliding sports. We're going to find out.

Speaker 2 I just got the word about that. It's not happening.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm the first one they talk to.

Speaker 2 Sliding sports? Yeah, I'll tell you later. It's a whole thing.

Speaker 2 I'm on the board.

Speaker 2 Bob Sled Louisia.

Speaker 1 Oh, those.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the sports where you lay still and gravity does it all.

Speaker 2 Oh, come on. Well, I'm sorry, but it is.
Just stay really still and you might get a gold medal. Wow.

Speaker 2 Don't move.

Speaker 2 Remember, we just had a Bob Sledder on this? Oh, yeah. That guy was full of shit.

Speaker 2 Hey, I stayed really still and I won. Good for you, Bob Sledder.

Speaker 2 Look, this got off to a bad start, and I apologize, Mike, but I do think Lake Placid is a beautiful place.

Speaker 2 And also home of the Adirondack Chair. I'm going to say the Adirondack Chair is the best outdoor wooden chair one can have.
It gives you the most back support. Hot take.
Yeah, that's my hot take.

Speaker 2 So I know what's yours.

Speaker 1 I don't know very many others.

Speaker 3 Okay, go ahead. So, Conan, why have you not used the Adirondack chair for the Subway Smartsman?

Speaker 2 Well, we should have an Adirondack chair the next time we're outside, and I'm going to demand one.

Speaker 2 And then I want to keep it at the end of the night, and I don't want to pay for it. I want it to be courtesy of the team to machine, which means basically it ends up coming out of my...

Speaker 3 I know some people who make Adirondack chairs. So if you decide to go with it.

Speaker 2 I just think it's a fantastic chair, the Adirondack chair. Check it out.
It is.

Speaker 2 It is.

Speaker 2 Tell us, what do you do? What is your profession? How do you make your way in this cruel world?

Speaker 3 About 10 years ago, I founded a company called the Forest Farmers.

Speaker 3 We and my business partners, we own 10,000 acres of forest land here in the Adirondacks and Vermont. Wow.

Speaker 3 And we collect sap from lots of different tree species and turn it into syrups and sugars and all sorts of beverages and delicious food.

Speaker 2 So basically, let me cut to the chase. You're in the maple syrup business.

Speaker 3 Not just maple syrup, but other tree syrups as well. Yes.
Maple syrup is our number one thing.

Speaker 2 I didn't know there were other tree syrups. What other tree syrups are there?

Speaker 3 We do birch, beech, and walnut. And there's another five species that we could do, but we're not in the right part of the country to do them.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I don't, that's strange to me. I mean, maple is the go-to.

Speaker 2 And it's suddenly like you're saying, oh, no, there's another kind of Kleenex other than Kleenex.

Speaker 2 There's Zorzabar tissues.

Speaker 2 So describe, what does it taste like? How is it different beech from maple? Or is that just an impossible thing to describe?

Speaker 3 No, no. So

Speaker 3 every different tree syrup tastes a little bit different. Some are very different than others.

Speaker 3 And it has to do, you know, a lot of types with the types of sugars that

Speaker 3 are present in the sap and then how you boil it down. And so

Speaker 3 beech syrup tastes similar to maple, but with more like a raisiny fig type of complex to it.

Speaker 2 Oh, interesting. I'm glad you asked this because actually, we have a syrup taste test to do.
I have no palate.

Speaker 2 They don't let's bring them in. We have

Speaker 2 syrups here that we're going to try. Syrups.
This is fantastic. No, I sent, yeah.

Speaker 3 So I had sent

Speaker 3 syrups for each of the three chill chums.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. So then you can each have the syrup.
Oh, look at that.

Speaker 2 This looks like Jaeger bombs.

Speaker 3 That is each, you know.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. Should I wait?

Speaker 2 Let's wait. Let's wait.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah. You can take us through this, Mike.
Oh, I see. Each one, I understand.
We don't each get a plate. Each plate

Speaker 2 is a little bit more than a middle. So move the plates to the middle.

Speaker 2 And so you have your birch, you have your maple. What's that one right over there? This is

Speaker 2 pure maple. Oh, man.
That's maple walnut.

Speaker 3 There's a pure maple, which is the traditional one, and then a maple walnut.

Speaker 2 Okay, that one's for gorly. I think what we're going to do is

Speaker 2 I just want to have a few more questions before we start tasting, which is,

Speaker 2 I know when I was a kid, I was tasting what I thought was syrup, but it wasn't. It was the stuff that you get at the supermarket.
Basically, in the 60s and 70s, we were lied to.

Speaker 2 What was I eating?

Speaker 3 Not just the 60s and 70s. We're continually being lied to.
Like the vast majority of people in the U.S.

Speaker 3 Consume the fake stuff.

Speaker 3 The Aunt Jemima, Mrs. Butterworth's log cabin, all that stuff.
So Mrs.

Speaker 2 Butterworth

Speaker 2 is fired. Mrs.
Butterworth is a liar, is what you're saying. Does she not even exist? Was she a real person?

Speaker 2 I saw Mrs. Butterworth move on a kitchen table.
She's got to be real. Yeah, I always assumed she was a very small person whose body was filled with syrup.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Next, you're going to say, you know, eggo waffles aren't real waffles.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's, let's not do that. I'm sorry.
Okay, that's just slanderous. That's like saying there's no Santa Claus.
That's a conspiracy theorist.

Speaker 2 So, anyway, that's just basically sugar and what? What is it?

Speaker 3 Well, it's corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup, and an artificial maple flavoring and a bunch of preserves.

Speaker 2 What happened to this country? Yeah. This country was founded on something important, and now we've lost our way.
But you're going to bring it back because you're talking about real syrups.

Speaker 2 Syrups that are. Well, Conan, I know

Speaker 3 you're a huge history buffer.

Speaker 2 You bet I am.

Speaker 2 Civil War as well. Not just Civil War.
Don't pigeonhole me. I know all histories.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 God, I think he got mad at me when

Speaker 2 I said not just Civil War, we lost his connection. We'll get it back.
Don't worry. It's a matter of time.
This is tough because I really want to drink these certain juice.

Speaker 2 It looks so good. Is there something that can be done? Let's start with the pure.
I know. Let's stir.
We'll start with the pure music. Should we go ahead and do it?

Speaker 2 No, no, we're going to wait until he comes back, but we can at least distribute. Okay.

Speaker 1 If I had access to this much syrup, I'd take a bath in it. Oh,

Speaker 2 too bad we're not. I'm going to keep that in.
I'm going to keep that in the podcast. We're not recording anything.
We are still recording on our own for sure.

Speaker 2 It doesn't matter. You know, the fans got to be.
Oh, you know what? But I'm going to put that back in the middle. This guy up in the northern reaches of New York who gets syrup out of a tree.

Speaker 2 His computer went down. Big shot.

Speaker 2 His computer is made of balsa wood. It probably runs on sap.

Speaker 2 You know?

Speaker 2 There's like a

Speaker 2 falcon.

Speaker 1 What's that? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 I'm reading this thing.

Speaker 1 This is dark, robust maple syrup for Sona since she is traditional and sweet.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's so nice. Oh, so these are each tailored.

Speaker 1 This normal syrup that we have.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're all going to taste all of them, I think. So the first one is the pure maple.
Can you read that again?

Speaker 1 Yours is nutty. Probably real nutty.

Speaker 2 All right. Well, listen, this gentleman is not with us at the moment.
Can he hear us? I don't think so. He's not on yet.

Speaker 2 Well, I just think this gentleman who we're talking to, Mike, who makes the maple syrup, his connection has gone down because I don't think they have Wi-Fi yet in Lake Placid New York and that's gonna cost them the Olympics if they can't get it together

Speaker 2 how will people

Speaker 2 without Wi-Fi yeah yeah there's no way to luge

Speaker 2 it's an it's a no-luge situation

Speaker 2 he'll be back anytime now and you know what I don't know who sets these things up but I'm sure

Speaker 2 so is it Eduardo who tests signal It's a team effort. Team effort, I see.
Well, that's a nice way to throw people onto the bus. I didn't say who was on the team.
I said, I'm part of the team.

Speaker 2 Okay, don't worry about it. And listen, you won't be blamed, Aaron Blair,

Speaker 2 for

Speaker 2 okaying a connection that isn't there. Can't we send these people equipment? Is there a way to get

Speaker 2 a sit?

Speaker 2 Oh, you cheaters. I know.
You're supposed to taste ahead of time. I can't help it.
It's really good. You should just take a little, take a little.

Speaker 2 I play by the rules. Oh, he's the older sibling on Christmas morning that won't let us go look at our gifts.

Speaker 2 I remember those days.

Speaker 1 Oh, teacher, you forgot to give us a homework assignment.

Speaker 2 There he is. Hey, you're back.
You're back. I'm back.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And listen, Mike, I want you to know that I take responsibility for

Speaker 2 that system going down. And when I say I take responsibility, I mean my bad team.

Speaker 3 I think you're going to blame it on Eduardo or Sona.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's Blay and Eduardo. We call them Bleduardo.

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Speaker 2 Okay, so we're about to taste the, which is the first one we're tasting? Pure maple syrup. Pure maple syrup.
And tell us, when was this harvested? What's the best time to get that maple syrup?

Speaker 2 Is it the winter ad? Well, let's go.

Speaker 3 Well, actually, the best time is right now.

Speaker 2 All right,

Speaker 2 let's taste it right now.

Speaker 3 No doubt about it. Yes.

Speaker 2 That's delicious. Good God.

Speaker 2 That is heaven.

Speaker 1 That is so good.

Speaker 2 That is so good. The texture.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. It's just like Mrs.
Butterworth. There's something so wonderful about drinking out of a shot glass, too.

Speaker 2 Well, again, that feeds into your alcoholism. It sure does.
I can't take too much of it straight.

Speaker 2 Wow, soda. I know.
I don't know. Except a little bit.

Speaker 2 I just have a lot of taste.

Speaker 2 I'm a hummingbird. I will just drink natural.
You can just run a liquid. That is fantastic.
That is, I mean, the taste, the texture.

Speaker 3 Well, because it's not the fake stuff, right? So the fake stuff is what people are used to, but when you get the real thing, it's, you know, that much better.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Once you've had, hey, once I've had this, you can't go back, you know?

Speaker 2 I can't go back.

Speaker 3 You have two others to try, Conan.

Speaker 2 All right, what's the next one you want us to try? There's maple walnuts, and then there's birch. Well, okay.

Speaker 3 Okay, so birch is much different than maple. Maple walnut is very similar to maple.
It's just

Speaker 3 I can't talk about it because you guys are supposed to be.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's do maple water. Are we supposed to clear our palate? Like with some

Speaker 2 water, maybe just take a little sip of water. Oh, yeah.
Okay, sure.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's read the description here. Maple walnut syrup.
Matte syrup is made from the sap of maple and walnut trees. It's mostly sweet, but just a tad, just a tad butt nutty.

Speaker 2 Excuse me.

Speaker 2 I'm just reading what he wrote. In honor of Professor Gorley.
Thank you, Mike.

Speaker 2 Conan, you go screw. Go screw.
Okay, here we go. Oh, my.
Oh, I really like that.

Speaker 2 I can taste the difference. I can taste the walnut.
It's so good.

Speaker 1 Oh, that is so good.

Speaker 2 I love that you have the walnut, the walnutty. It's got that just little nutty something.

Speaker 2 Yeah, nuts.

Speaker 2 That's for gorly because everybody loves gorly right

Speaker 2 you asked around who are you asking thank you thank you mike what did you think were you chatting were you chatting up a bear in the woods an elk come by it's like i like gorly

Speaker 2 oh i'm so happy oh yeah oh my god i really gotta say i love drinking myself there that's just it's staying in there she's so thick yeah she's thick okay so so can i can i look at her go i just want to you're like a you're you're a monster i'm so happy.

Speaker 1 This is just you're not even drinking all of it.

Speaker 2 I can't. I can't take that much pure.

Speaker 3 That's a lot of syrup. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I can't do it. You don't need to drink at all.
Yeah. I like to get little tastes.
No problem. You're the person that goes to the wine tasting and just drains the whole bottle.
It's true.

Speaker 2 And they say, you know, you spit in this barrel and then you drink out of the barrel.

Speaker 2 Oh, this smells very different.

Speaker 3 So, Conan, it's very different. And this one is definitely for you.

Speaker 2 This is for Conan since it's made from very tall white birch trees.

Speaker 2 and the syrup has a reddish hue it is sweet and fruity

Speaker 2 but slightly acidic with very unique flavors that's that is me this is a good description of me oh man i'm so happy um is birch syrup going to catch on do you think i hope so if i have a great spokesperson oh

Speaker 2 it doesn't like it

Speaker 2 nope oh no oh no oh my no

Speaker 3 this is me what you're not supposed to you're not supposed to have no you're not supposed to have have birch syrup on its own. So I was going to try to like

Speaker 3 warn you that people just don't drink birch syrup. Like, you wouldn't just drink a balsamic vinaigrette.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 3 okay. So it's used in cooking.
Like, it's not like something you pour on pancakes.

Speaker 2 You just

Speaker 2 take shots of. I'm still going to drink it.
When you have a little bit of. Why did you tell us that afterwards?

Speaker 3 Well, because you cut me off and didn't let me say

Speaker 1 you were so excited to drink your

Speaker 2 was in glasses that were presented to us at a tasting. So, how did I fuck that up?

Speaker 2 That's

Speaker 2 tangy. Yeah,

Speaker 3 it's a common,

Speaker 3 it's a very common reaction. So, but when you have birch syrup on like salmon or pork or chicken, it is delicious.

Speaker 2 I could see that.

Speaker 3 It's how you use it.

Speaker 3 You have to use it in cooking. It's not something you would just drink.
Like, nobody would just drink, like I said, balsamic vinegar.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you'd have to pour it into cups at a tasting and have it be the third thing you tasted for someone to accidentally drink it.

Speaker 1 It's kind of accurate because you on your own, you're a lot. But with me and Gorally,

Speaker 2 I can compliment you.

Speaker 2 And the salad. The taste of gorali was fantastic.
The taste of sona was amazing. And then when you two were quiet and we had a little bit of Conan,

Speaker 2 it was repellent. Yeah.
It was sour.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 3 It was only supposed to be slightly acidic, not fully acidic.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't say that acidic is the only issue. How's it selling?

Speaker 2 The burch syrup?

Speaker 2 How's it going?

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 3 yeah, the Conan one.

Speaker 3 Don't

Speaker 2 let's move away from

Speaker 2 the bottom of the bottom.

Speaker 2 Let's move away from the bottle. Get it on the bottle.
Let's call it the Jordan.

Speaker 2 It is

Speaker 2 George Schlaski.

Speaker 2 Let me do you a little favor here, pal.

Speaker 2 I don't know much about business and such. I would put 99.9% of your business into the two maples, the walnut maple and the regular maple.

Speaker 2 I would try.

Speaker 2 Would you have a facility where you make the birch?

Speaker 3 Yeah, we do. And

Speaker 2 blow it up.

Speaker 2 Blow it up. No, I'm just saying.
Just blow it up. We do.

Speaker 2 Big blow up.

Speaker 2 Blow it up.

Speaker 3 We do put most of our effort into Maple. That is our number two.

Speaker 2 Good, good.

Speaker 3 Yes. But the birch sap runs after Maple, and we have a lot of customers that do actually

Speaker 3 appreciate birch for its unique flavors, that use it in cooking. Lots of different chefs.

Speaker 2 I can imagine if you're growing it. And then also...
Base that on there? Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah,

Speaker 2 no ants would come around.

Speaker 3 It just has it by itself.

Speaker 3 It's not just something you normally just drink. And then we also have a lot of people that buy it for just the sap as a beverage because that's what's been used for centuries.

Speaker 3 People drinking birch sap in the springtime is like a spring tonic. It's delicious, just a sap right out of the tree.

Speaker 2 Is that where birch beer comes from?

Speaker 3 Birch beer,

Speaker 3 there's lots of different types of birch beer, but the birch beer that came out of America was actually the distillate of sweet birch or black birch in Pennsylvania.

Speaker 3 It has like an oil of wintergreen that that's grown in the trees.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 3 And that's where they made

Speaker 3 the birch beer from.

Speaker 2 Okay. Well, it probably took us down an unproductive.
I was going to say, I've never heard of birch beer. Oh, birch beer is

Speaker 2 pretty common. Okay.
I don't know. It's out there.
Yeah, you've had

Speaker 2 a question. No, is that an East Coast thing in West Beer?

Speaker 1 I don't drink much.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a Northeast thing.

Speaker 3 More than Conan was growing up, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, when I was growing up, every now and then my grandfather would pull up in his Model T and say, let's go get a birch beer.

Speaker 2 And then on the way back, we'd vote for Warren Harding for president. See, out here, we just have beer.
We just have beer, you nerd. Okay, well, okay.
Well, I guess I'm the fool in this equation.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 I mean, I, uh, this is a, you have mostly a thriving business, I think. Um, mostly be wary of the birch syrup and put a warning on the label, do not drink, okay?

Speaker 2 Put a warning on the birch syrup label that it's not

Speaker 2 that's uh, you know, no one should drink it. Yes, yes.
Oh, you know what better? Yeah, put my face on it. No one's going to drink it.

Speaker 3 I think if we put your face face on it, everybody would want to buy it.

Speaker 2 No, we've tried that with other products.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Really? We have a Conan fire extinguisher, and in fires, people won't use it.

Speaker 2 We have a Conan incubator, and people that are dying won't use it.

Speaker 1 Anti-Paul Newman.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's nice.

Speaker 2 You win this round. Oh, Conan's own.

Speaker 2 Conan's own. All proceeds are stolen from charity.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 all my money is taken from kids' camps.

Speaker 2 The ship is sinking. Quickly, grab the life preservers.
They're Conan's own life preservers. I'd rather

Speaker 2 choose to drown.

Speaker 2 Well, Mike, you're a good guy. You've got a nice business.
I envy you living up there in Lake Placid. Those are cold winters, but what beautiful country.
What a beautiful place to be from.

Speaker 2 And congratulations on the upcoming possible Olympics where people remain perfectly motionless and yet are given the highest prize possible in athletics.

Speaker 2 I think that's it. I think we're going to.
Oh, I got it. It was a pleasure, Mike.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 we're going to go make some griddle cakes and pour two of these three syrups onto it. And then afterwards, not

Speaker 2 the Conan defibrillate.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 Well, thank you very much, Mike. Take care.
Bye. Okay, thank you.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

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