Born to Be Badminton

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Okay, let's get started.

Oh, my gosh.

Hi, Buddy.

How are you?

Hi.

Oh, my God.

Hello.

It's so nice to meet you.

Vibooti, very nice to meet you.

Goodbye.

Oh, there was just a long lag.

I don't know if that's because of the technology, but Vibooty.

I just didn't know what to say.

You know what?

There really is nothing else to say.

Vibhuti, first of all, welcome.

It's very nice to have you on Conan O'Brien.

Needs a fan.

And tell us where you are calling in from.

I'm right now in New Delhi in India.

Oh, my God.

That's cool.

India.

You know, I've been to India once

with you, Sona.

That's right.

We did something, a little project in Jaipur, and we loved it.

I love the people of India.

And

of all the places I've been in the world, it was the most different.

That's all I can say.

It was just

it was like going to another planet in all the best ways.

Really loved India.

Yeah.

It was, it was an ad, right?

Yeah, it was for American Express.

I Googled it once.

Yeah, it was for American Express.

Good payday.

Anyway,

I was thinking about it the other day.

I was thinking about how,

like, India has like a lot going on, right?

You're right.

It's very different from the rest of the world.

Yes.

And one big thing, of course, there's like

it's very vibrant.

It's very happening.

There's so many foods and colors and blah, blah, blah.

That's what everyone says.

But it's also very chaotic.

And I feel like anyone who really appreciates being here has to have a high chaos dollar.

Yes.

I think you'll agree with me, Sona, that when we visited Jaipur and we were, I remember we were driving around.

Yeah.

And Traffic was not flowing in any one direction.

And I don't mean people were going in two directions or three directions people

livestock buses everything was coming from every direction i had never seen anything like it and i found it exhilarating me too i just was i was i loved it i loved the energy and i love the lack of order and uh there was just so much beauty There and a real zest for life.

That's what I picked up on.

Am I correct?

So true, so true.

I think, I was thinking, I think Sona would have, like, I, I feel like Sona has a great chaos tolerance.

I do.

She has to.

Yeah, she has to.

She works for me and

she comes from a family of maniacs.

Oh, okay.

I say that in the nicest way.

Oh, do you?

Yeah, I love your parents.

Maniacs.

Yeah.

I'm going to tell them you said that then.

No, but

Jonathan, if you meant it in a nice way, I'm going to say, hey, mom, pop, Conan says we're maniacs.

They come from a very

vibrant culture.

Yes.

That's the nice way to say it.

We're chaotic.

That's what we say about ourselves.

Yeah, maniacs.

Anyway,

so Vibhuti.

I think you would almost like

confuse us if you came here because you create chaos everywhere you go, right?

Yes,

I think that if I came to India,

my level of chaos would be higher than the people of New Delhi have ever seen before.

Yeah.

I think they would be saying like, this guy has to calm down.

This guy is too much.

We got to get him out of here.

We got to get him out of here.

Tell me about your life, Vibhuti.

You're in New Delhi.

Are you married?

Am I allowed to ask that?

I got married.

Because I was about to propose to you.

And I think it's important to know if someone's married before you propose to them.

That's a good idea.

But you're also married gently.

Yeah, but that thing, you know,

it's an L.

It's an LA.

That marriage could go at any time.

Listen, we've grown distant in the last several days, my wife and I, after 23 years.

No, I'm very happily married.

Tell me about yourself.

Are you with somebody?

Yeah, I got married last year.

Oh, congratulations.

Yeah.

Did you have one of those

big ceremonial weddings where, I mean, some of the weddings in India are,

it's a giant multi-day affair.

Did you go that route?

Oh, my God.

It was huge.

Dude, it was too much.

And like in retrospect, like this is how much I'm thinking, I'm often thinking about the podcast.

I was like, if only I had applied to Conan Bryan he's a fan before my wedding, I could have invited you to.

Yes!

I was like, oh, you say that.

Like

these opportunities.

But you know what, Vibooti?

I don't think you wanted me.

I think, you know what I mean?

I'm a lot.

I'm a lot.

So I think on some subconscious level,

the reason you don't agree so quickly, but I think one of the reasons.

I think that's what she meant.

She would invite us, right?

Oh, oh my gosh, to have Matt and Sona and Aaron

and Eduardo and everyone.

But then we have to have Conan, right?

We don't.

No, we don't.

We ask.

So you had this big wedding, and

I want to know who you married.

Because this is a, I want to say this.

I'll say a kind thing.

This is a lucky, this is a lucky person.

You're very beautiful.

You're very funny.

You seem very smart.

You've got a great personality.

Who is is this person?

He is

well now anything I say seems like not good enough, but he's amazing as well.

I don't know.

So his name is Casey.

Casey.

He works.

Until very recently, he worked with the UN in Ukraine, informing their humanitarian.

Oh, wow.

That's very good work he's doing.

That's very good work.

And very important work.

So he sounds like a really cool guy.

You've been married now a year.

Yes.

And where are you right now?

Do you guys have your own place?

So for the past two months, we've been living here at my parents' home.

You're living with your parents right now?

Yeah.

Because that can be tough.

And I'm going to tell you how I know that for a fact.

Until I was 18, I lived with my parents.

That's more of a legal thing.

But Sona

had to, because she lost her house in the Altadena fire, moved back in with your mom and dad

and your husband and your two children.

And why don't you jump in here?

And my dog.

It's a lot.

It is a lot to move back home after you haven't lived at home for a while.

And, you know,

you need your space.

Let's just see, you need your space, right?

I mean, I need my space.

Have you found it difficult, Vibuti?

We don't want to put words in your mouth, but has it been difficult?

And why has it been difficult?

And it sounds difficult.

Who is it who really gets to?

Your mom or your dad?

Mom.

Your mom.

Wait, no, that's your.

Oh, sorry.

I want to put it on the record because my parents are going to hear this.

They are angels.

I love them so much.

Okay.

How about we don't have them listen to this?

We'll make a second one that they can listen to.

But I want the truth.

Oh, oh, my gosh.

Who can be a little bit,

who can be a little rough?

And they can still be wonderful people, but who sometimes creates a little bit more of a problem?

You're going to ruin her home life.

Would you shut up?

Who wouldn't?

matt gets it thank you gorly oh yeah he gets it this is not a good podcast that's all

oh let's get the fizz out of this soda okay so now it's better it's nice and flat

so my um

my dad has been so warm and loving and welcoming and at the same time i can see that he um

has a hard time seeing me as an adult yes And he is, he's just,

and sometimes he says it, you know, to me, you'll always be five years old.

You'll always be a little girl.

And I'm like, that's very sweet.

But I'm also not.

I'm married.

I pay taxes.

I've lived in a couple of countries, you know?

Yeah.

So he sometimes, how does this come out when he's treating you like a child, does he ever say, you know, go up to your room?

Does he ever turn into the dad of your childhood?

Why do you smell like weed?

Okay, you're projecting, Sona.

First of all, you're projecting your childhood and last week.

Today.

This morning.

Mother's Day.

It's Mother's Day, brah.

Yeah.

You deserve a break,

Sona.

Yeah,

so Vibhoodi, just

tell me,

what kinds of things specifically does your father do?

It's okay.

You're saying it with love.

Yeah, with love.

With love, last week I had a flu and he was like obsessed with the idea of me going to the doctor.

And I was like, it's, you know, it's just a flu.

It'll pass in three days.

I don't need to see a doctor.

And he was like, no, you must go.

These days it can be so strong and it can turn into something very bad.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, cool, cool.

And I just wanted to like, I just wanted 48 hours to pass and to see if it's going to be fine.

And it was fine.

Yeah, Yeah, I'm still with your dad on this one.

No, I've been there.

My dad, I had a cough.

My dad's like, go to the doctor.

I'm like, I know I don't need to go.

They just don't, they're very parental that way.

And it's sweet, but also, you know.

But Vibuti, it's a two-way street.

Have you found that you've regressed at all?

Sometimes when I would go back home, even when I was in my 30s and 40s, if you can believe it.

I'd act more childish around my parents because I was back in the home where I was a child.

Now, I know this is a strong dose of weirdness, and no one can understand it.

Hard to believe, but I would act more childish around my parents.

Do you find that you do that sometimes?

What would you do?

Oh, sometimes I'd do long bits or act silly or jump around or do long interviews that had no real point or run-on sentences.

I'd comb my hair up to a big pompadour.

I would do a dance where I pretended strings were attached to my hips.

I mean,

it would progress.

Wait a minute, I'm describing my career.

Yeah, that sounds like a day in the life of Conan.

Sona, you and I share many things in common, but one is that we love mysteries.

We love true crime.

Yeah.

And frankly, I love Me Some Murder.

Yeah, I love any crime, really.

I love fraud.

I love it.

You do love fraud.

You love to commit fraud.

You've committed fraud on me many times.

It's true.

I have to say, when it comes to true crime podcasts, there's one that really delivers.

It's called Crime Junkie.

And I don't even have to say it's called Crime Junkie.

Everyone knows it's Crime Junkie.

Yeah.

Every week, the queen of true crime, Ashley Flowers, who I love talking to, by the way.

Yeah.

She dives into a new case, some well-known, others you've never heard of.

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It's true.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm with you committing this murder, Ashley.

But no, it's really great.

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New cases covered every Monday.

So listen to Crime Junkie wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Blai, tell me, I think you get magenta status.

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What's included in magenta status?

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Yeah.

I'm excited.

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I mean, I'm a, I grew up a Raiders fan.

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Fabuti, I'm going to try a different tact here.

Let's say that I were to visit you, okay?

Mm-hmm.

And let's say that I were to stay with you and

your husband, whose name is, again, is Casey.

Casey.

Casey.

I'm sure I'd be welcome there.

And your parents.

Would they be aware of who I am?

Would your parents know who I am?

Yes, they are so aware.

My dad has seen you live.

He saw me live.

Wow.

Yeah, live.

He

many, many years ago, he worked for General Electric.

Oh, as well as some sort of opportunity to see you.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, General Electric was my boss when I was employees.

Yeah, General Electric owned NBC.

And so back in the day, occasionally they would need some kind of an orange-haired chimpanzee to go out and entertain the GE crowd.

And I would do that.

That's exactly how he described you.

Did he like, did he enjoy my show?

Yeah, he did.

And he also said, like, the one thing that I guess everyone says is that, oh, he's so tall.

He's so tall.

Yeah, yeah, they don't really say funny.

They They just say tall.

But that's okay.

Most comedians want to be described by the family.

No one really likes you.

Okay.

Listen, so it sounds like I'd be accepted by your family.

Your mom's a fan.

Your dad's a fan and has seen me live.

You know, Casey, your husband would tolerate me.

You're a fan.

He would, yeah.

So I come and I visit.

What would we do?

What would you want me?

Is there a way that I could help you?

Yes.

Well,

there's a way in which you could help me.

And then there's also something that I

so recently went to a fort close to New Delhi, and I'd love to take you there.

It's a few hours' drive.

Wow, you had me at a few hours' drive to a fort.

Sounds pretty good.

Okay, it's cursed, and it's

better yet.

And there's a djinn that lives in the fort that people worship on a daily basis.

The Irish also worships nearby.

It's a different djinn.

So there's an evil djinn.

Come to offer sweets because they believe the djinn will grant them their wishes.

Wait, so it's a cursed fort, but we would go there hoping that the djinn would grant our wishes.

Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes if we want our wishes to be granted, we have to do it.

But these are cursed.

Is anything bad potentially going to happen?

Well, so the story goes that the reason it's cursed is because

there was once, it was once a bustling township and fort and whatnot and there was a beautiful princess who was desired by this evil magician who tried every technique to to bring her under his control and he always failed and then one time he tried to give her a magic potion which she immediately recognized.

He disguised it as a perfume but she knew what it was and she threw it on a rock and then the rock became possessed and it crushed the magician to death.

But before he died, he cursed the fort and he cursed the people and he

and he cursed the land for that it will be barren forever.

Just say

magicians are not good people.

And I know that's a blanket statement, but they really are.

You don't have to say evil magician.

Just say he was a magician.

Yeah.

You know?

There's something weird.

Yeah, there's just something going on there.

Oh, no, no, no.

Do you want to look David Copperfield in the eye and feel comfortable?

There's no way.

I don't know.

I'll hang out with David Blaine.

He seems cool.

Yeah, sure.

That'll be fun.

That's a fun date.

Hey, what are we doing?

Are we going to a restaurant?

No, I'm going to get inside this little bubble and not eat for 17 days.

You can watch me in Times Square.

No, I don't think that's happening.

Apologies to David Blaine.

But famously, tough date.

Vibooti,

okay, maybe we'll check out the Cursed Fort that's a couple of hours away.

Visit the gym.

So uninterested.

And anything else that we would do while we were there

is there any way I can help you well

um let's get to badminton I'm sorry I'm not kidding

her whole badminton yeah there's the badminton in the notes there's a badminton thing

sorry

so um for the past two months I've been really getting into badminton and

in my neighborhood there is this girl who is unbeatable.

Her name is Tolika.

She's amazing.

I'm never able to get past her.

And I could really use your help to improve my badminton skills, maybe team up,

and just,

you know, for once and for all, claim my spot as the best badminton player.

Well, here's the deal.

And I'm glad you called Vibuti because I am recognized as an incredible natural athlete.

I have not played badminton, but I don't even have to have played badminton.

I think anything that involves hand coordination.

That would be so great.

I would be amazing.

Your height would make you very good at this.

I'm very tall.

I'm a distraction to the other team because I'm quite unusual looking.

The hair is flopping around.

Exactly.

They get confused.

My limbs are out of proportion.

But also, I'm a fierce competitor.

I dominate.

I need to win.

I could help you beat your arch rival, Tolika, in badminton.

Yep.

Yep.

That would be amazing.

If you could do that for me, I would be forever grateful.

He can't.

Well,

what are you talking about?

Because I can.

I can and I will.

I mean, height is like wasted on you.

Like, you can be over the net, but I don't.

Just go to the fourth.

Have you ever even played?

Have you ever even played Badminton?

Uh, I think once.

I was, I played badminton, all right, and uh, only three people were killed.

Babooti, I want to make your dreams.

I'm also not that good.

I'm, I'm not that good at badminton.

Like, my mom beats Tulika.

It's just that I can't beat Tulika.

Oh, your mom mom can beat

it

she's good you just suck yeah

okay but but my mom my mom is incredible maybe it can be tulika and my mom versus yeah maybe your mom is your arch rival yeah

my mom beats tulika once in a while like she usually loses once in a while she wins okay i don't win okay well i think uh tolica first of all has been probably getting professional help she probably has a coach i mean there's a reason toleka is so good.

She's juicing.

I think she's juicing.

I definitely think she's juicing.

Tolika is on some kind of steroid.

Does she have massive forearms?

Does she have an anchor tattoo?

Does she say, I always eat some spinach?

Okay.

She's Popeye.

Shiver.

Girlfriend named Olive Oil.

Yeah, yeah, she does.

Does she ever say, I am what I am?

When she laughs, does she go,

Vabooti?

I need help, mental help, but I'd love to help you.

I'd love to be of assistance.

You seem like a very cool fan, and

I'm happy for you.

I'm happy for your marriage, your healthy relationship with your parents, even though your dad sounds very domineering

and treats you like a child and doesn't understand that most things are,

most illnesses are short-lived.

quickly go away on their own.

But other than that, everything sounds fine.

And

I'd visit a cursed fort with you any day to visit the djinn and see the rock that crushed the magician because I don't like a magician.

I could have wrapped this up so much more easily.

Yeah, you could have.

But I've had a little aneurysm here.

I needed an assist or something.

No, I'm done.

Vibudi, thank you so much for calling in.

You seem lovely.

You really do.

Have a fantastic day.

And I do hope.

that we get to meet in person.

Thank you so much, Conan.

Matt, Sona, it's such a pleasure to have spoken to you.

Thank you for your time.

Thank you, Lubudi.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gorley.

Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao.

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