Get Over Myself!

Sure, we got blue jeans, baseball, bald eagles, but come on! There's really nothing as American as the burger, right? And there's nothing more burger than the Sonic Smasher. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, this thing is made to order. Hand smashed, angus beef patties, seared to perfection with those incredible crispy edges that make you want to start a slow clap.
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You know what I'm talking about?

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Then there's the layered melty cheese

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one thing about the entertainment industry

it's easy to earn a reputation

even if it doesn't reflect who you really are

for example

everyone thinks that Discover

is a card that isn't widely accepted

can you believe that?

I can't stand people who think that yeah me neither those are. Those are my least favorite kind of people.
In reality, it's accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. This is a flawed concept.
99%. Yeah, it's almost all of it.
Yeah, almost, but just 1% away. So maybe now you'll think twice before judging a book by its cover.
Hello, unless it's a celebrity cookbook. Just stay away from those.
Celebrities can't cook. In that case, judge, you know what I mean? Whenever a celebrity is making a cake, I think that's a bad cake.
Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report. Learn more at discovery.com slash credit card.
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call conan okay let's get started hey dan welcome to conan o'brien needs a fan what i couldn't remember if it was friend or or foe uh hey dan how are you i'm doing great thank you guys for having me on uh where are you coming to us from, Dan? Where are you? I'm in Vacaville, California, so near Sacramento, Napa Valley area.
Oh, okay. Very nice.
And I'm looking at your background. It looks like you're working on a nuclear submarine.
I mean, there's all kinds of machinery behind you. It's very cool looking.
Are you, are you, what are you building? I mean, it mean it's looks like you're up to something uh i'm a glass blower glass artist so i work with uh these are glass lays so i work with uh glass tubing and you know glass rods and i create stuff out of glass okay what kind of stuff do you create out of glass primarily are you talking like a a vase? Are we talking like a test tube? Are we talking glasses? What are you making?

Uh, my... Okay, what kind of stuff do you create out of glass primarily? Are we talking like a vase? Are we talking like a test tube? Are we talking glasses? What are you making? My main product that I make is water pipes.
So I make bongs, basically. I see them back there.
Look at those. Okay, so one is salivating.
Yes. You make bongs.
And was that, did you start making bongs because of your personal affinity for bongs? Or you just like making them? Or you like the shape? What drew you to making bongs? I started in high school. So I feel like everyone in high school kind of wanted or needed a bong.
And I liked making things. So that drew me to it.
I originally started, I wanted to do welding, but it was a little complicated, I feel like, so I went into glassblowing, which was even more complicated. Yeah, I was going to say, glassblowing feels incredibly difficult.
I mean, just the little I know about it, right? You got to heat up the material, right, and get it molten. And then you, I watched the show on Netflix.
Blown away. Yeah.
Blown away. So I know I'm basically a glass blower.
Okay. Yeah.
And, uh, is that, is that an accurate representation of glass blowing the TV show blown away? Um, yeah, it is. Uh, mine's a little different.
I use a torch, so I don't have a big furnace of glass. I have a torch that I use, and then I get these glass tubes in four-foot lengths, and then I'll create stuff out of that.
So I don't have a big furnace that I pull globs of glass out of. I use a torch.
Well, you know what? I think I have more respect for you, because I think anybody can do it with a big furnace. I do.
I think anybody can do it with a big furnace. I mean, oh, oh, big furnace, Furn furnace.
Yawn. Oh, look, I have a big furnace and I accidentally made 900 glasses today.
But you're using a torch and that takes real skill. I think that takes a real artist.
And I know I'm probably throwing shade on a huge part of the glass making community, but fuck those guys. I'm with you, man.
I'm with you, Dan. And I say it's torch or nothing.

And I'm going gonna start saying that to people who say they're a glass blower i'm gonna say furnace or torch and if they say furnace i'm out i'm just gonna walk away and then i'm gonna smash all the glass i appreciate that yeah yeah and i'm gonna drive by later and throw stones through their window and go like you should get a torch and peel out really took a turn I'm going to drive by later and throw stones through their window. And go like, you should get a torch! And peel out.
Really took a turn. I'm sorry.
If you use a furnace out there and you make glass, you know where to find me. I'm not afraid of you with your furnace.
Dan, I don't know what happened right there. I love your take on that.
A neurologist would say it's a brain bleed, possibly. I don't know.
I'm getting faint. But this is cool.
What's the name of your company? It's called Apex Design Glass. So I made that name when I was in high school for a web design business I was doing.
And then I just kept it through my glassblowing business as well. Okay.
And is it easy for people to find you if they want some of your custom-made torch-hewn bongs?

Yeah, if you look up Apex Design, then, yeah, I got a website.

I got an Instagram.

I have a good little following of people who, you know, like my glass.

So it's easy to find it. When someone buys a bong, how long does that bong last? And do they then come back for more bongs? Does a person buy multiple bongs in a year? How does it all work? What's a bong life? Such a square.
Well, I'm sorry. I want to know more of this bong culture.
I took an aspirin once in 1992 and I was taken to the hospital so I don't know a lot about bongs but I've seen them portrayed in film can you do you have some bongs there you could show us I just want to see some of these bongs I don't want to keep saying bongs I actually sent you guys a gift what let? Let me see. Oh my god.
Oh my god, this thing is... I didn't know about this.
Look at this. Oh my god.
Sir, I'm not... All joking aside, you are an artist.
Truly. That is gorgeous.
Look, he's done... I mean, yes.
You've got the Conan logo. You've got...
Oh my god, he's got the late night moon. And we're got the late night moon there's three mouthpieces here this is like the equivalent of sharing a milkshake except for a thruple at a Grateful Dead show it's a chill chums bong so you all can take a hit at the same time it's for when the cast of challengers wants to use a bong together this This is beautiful.
I mean, look at the design. It's gorgeous.
And then it's got this stopper has kind of a pompadour. It's the bowl.
What's that? It's the bowl, right? It's not a stopper. That is the bowl, yeah.
I don't know the official... I don't know what the name is.
This isn't the stopper, this is the cap. That's where you put the weed.
You put the weed in there. No, I know the weed goes in here, he said, lying.
No, the weed goes into the thing you're holding. It goes into this bowl.
Right, so this, oh, I see, this is the bowl. Yeah.
Okay, all right, okay, Spicoli, take it easy. But go ahead and show us where the stopper is.
I know. So what you do is you, and then when it's heated up, you drink.
No! Oh God. Do you remember when we had Seth Rogen on the last Conan O'Brien episode and he on camera offered me one of his marijuana cigarettes.

And do you remember this?

I do.

I put the wrong end in my mouth.

And people thought, oh, Conan's doing like a bit.

I wasn't doing a bit.

It's okay.

I just didn't know.

I know.

It's okay.

It's not okay.

I know.

I've got to start doing a lot of drugs quickly.

You catch up.

There's so much going on here. It's beautiful.
Is this a gerbil? What? Those are gerbils, yeah. You put gerbils in there.
Let's talk of gerbils. This is incredible.
This thing is, we need to take blay. Is that a butt plug? What? What? What are you doing? How does this get in your butt with these three things in the way? What's your butt like? There's no butt plug on it.
Can I just say, this is a Rorschach blot you've given us. No kidding.
Everyone sees what they want to see. I just see a bong.
You two are insane. This thing, Bled, you have to take multiple- We will, yes.
Detailed photographs of this that capture- We shall. Dan, you are, you're an artist.
This thing is, and all, I mean, this is just as a work of sculpture. have we have conan's uh doodle on there we've got the old we've got late night moon and stars team coco branding conan on tbs branding uh it's got a big cockatoo kind of glass uh uh it's it

could be a pompadour it could be yeah and it's a three-way glass on your hair last bong so again

all three real question do you think we'll ever actually three? Yes, we will. Does it work? I think we will.
Does it work? You know what? Our faces are going to have to get this close. I know.
For the next summer s'mores. No, no.
Guess what? I will. We'll do it.
Really? We'll do it. Yeah, I'll get over myself.
Sure. You said that to me like, get over myself.
I want to drink anything. There's no drinking when it comes to Boggs.
There's no drinking. You said, oh, you take a sip here.
Can I just say one thing? It also looks like it would make great coffee. And you know what? I think it would make great coffee because I see where the little creamer would go in.
This is incredible. It is absolutely.
It makes me want to relive some old days. Yeah.
Flashback to last week. Last week in Pasadena, I was talking about the gerbil.
The gerbil filed papers, by the way. Blay, I understand you're taking a trip pretty soon.
Where are you going? I'm going to the mountains. I'm going to Idlewild.
The mayor's a dog. Did you know that? Okay.
Mayor Max. Way too much information.
I'm just saying it's Mayor Max. He's a dog.
That's okay. Well, that's nice you're going to Idlewild.
It's great. And you know what? I'm thinking about hosting on Airbnb while I'm gone to help offset some of the cost of the trip.
That's smart. Hosting is a pretty cool and unique way to make some money back.
That's right. And people can stay in my awesome apartment, which is full of great comic books.
I have a lot of cool figurines. It's a great place to sail.
Have you seen the movie 40-Year-Old Virgin? No. I should check it out sometime.
Okay. Sounds fun.
But you know what? If you've got 20, 25 goals of travel and stuff like that, this would fit very nicely into those goals, which is using Airbnb. That's right.
Because it's more relaxing to take a trip when you know that you're making some cash on the other end. Exactly.
And it might make you a little more, I don't know, prone to spend a little more on your trip on yourself because you know that you're being responsible. That's right.
So don't leave money on the table when you travel. Your home might be worth more than you think it is.
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That's nice. Yeah, really good rest.
You know, winter's been so cold. It's hard to sleep in all that cold and the wind's howling.
That's wind? Yeah, that's wind. Or a ghost.
Well, winter's over and so is the excuse to hibernate. If you're going to emerge from your cocoon, what? They're mixing a lot of things here.
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So, Dan, my favorite thing is when we meet fans that are so creative. We have a lot of creative fans and man, you have just rocketed way to the top.
He's also made some glasses here. We have some glasses.
Oh, these are beautiful. And then he made,

he made special drinking glasses for each one of you.

This is really,

I'm God.

Sona, this is yours here.

Gorgeous.

And this is for Conan.

It's obviously the biggest one.

Okay.

Well, you know,

you gotta,

oh my God.

And then Matt here.

The smallest. Yeah, these,

yeah, these little goblins.

These are,

these are beautiful. These are, and, and little goblins.
These are beautiful.

These are...

And what kind of glass?

Is this glass?

Is it a type of glass?

Tell us what this is.

Yeah, this is a scientific glassware.

So, like, you'd find in really nice, you know, Pyrex glass, basically.

So this can be used for, you know, it can go in the dishwasher. It's not sensitive to heat, so you can put hot stuff in there, no problem.
This is extraordinary. Oh, my God.
What's this? It's like a Sherlock Holmes pint. That is really sweet, Dan.
Thank you so much. And so he made us a special extra gift for Sona.
Oh, that's nice. That is so, that really means a lot.
Thank you very much. Which is a blue.
No problem. I'm glad I could get you guys some stuff.
Once I heard I was going to be on here, I really wanted to get something made for you guys. This is, well, I'm just, I just almost said it and then realized people think I'm trying to make a lame joke, but I am blown away.
I wasn't trying to make a joke. I just started to say it.
You should watch it first because the way they finish it is in cyanide powder. Is it safe to drink out of? Dan, can I drink out of this? Okay.
Yeah, you can drink out of it. How long did it take you to build that bong? Well, I mean, I got told on Thursday that you guys wanted me to be on here.
And then by Saturday, I was finishing it up. And then Sunday, I did the sandblasting and I sent it out on Monday.
Oh my God. If I'm really, you know, really want to get something done, I can do it pretty quick.
I can't believe you put this in the mail because the guy who delivers my boxes shucks them over the fence. Yeah, that's incredible.
You know, I'm amazed this made it in one piece. It's incredible.
It's so beautiful. I'm using my glass right now.

I'm glad I made it to you guys.

Wow.

Did you have any question for me, Dan?

Other than, I mean, look at this.

I think it should be a requirement now.

I was just going to say.

More fans.

More fans that send wonderful gifts.

And I mean, they didn't even have to have made it,

but like, oh, I went to a store and I bought you

this Patek Philippe watch.

And I'm like, hmm, yes.

Add it to the pile.

This made me cry a little.

It's beautiful.

It's really sweet.

It is.

And also, Sona's been through a really rough time lately.

And that's just, it's nice.

And the note was very sweet, Dan.

And things are coming your way now.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, they are.

This is beautiful.

Yes, they are.

I'm glad you guys like it.

Mom is going to be happy tonight.

It's all fixed.

Why is mommy asleep?

It's all fixed. Why is mommy asleep? It's four in the afternoon.
Quiet, Charlie. Quiet, Mikey.
Why is Step Brothers on all day? On a loop. Wow, Dan, I cannot thank you enough.
This is absolutely beautiful. Really, really great.
And we're going to find a hallowed space for this. Because we have little spaces here that are becoming installations.
Like, this is our Pee Wee's Playhouse. And this is going to have a prominent space here.
Yeah. And we're very proud of this.
And we're proud to have you as a fan, really. Hey, thank you very much.
And yeah, I had one quick question. I was curious, you know, as a celebrity.
I'll handle this. Like, when I get home, I like to do stuff around the house.
So, like, I'll help my wife doing stuff or I'll, you know, work on the backyard. Yep.
And I was was curious as a celebrity, is there something that you go home and your wife's like, I want these photos hung up on the wall. Like, what do you do when you get home and you're asked to do something? Do you just call someone or do you take charge of doing stuff like that? I immediately pull rank.
I say, do you realize who I am and what I've accomplished? Then I start to show her like a montage of things I've worked on over the years. No, there are a big thing for my wife, Liza, is she she's very good cook and she does the cooking and I am I'm not good at cooking.
She really wants me to set the table. And that's important to her that I set the table.
And sometimes I kind of set the table, but she'll make a passive aggressive comment like, usually people use napkins. And then I'll go, oh, right.
And then I'll go and get the, you know, go to the napkin drawer and get those. And, you know, did you put trivets down? Cause I got to put something, this is hot and okay.
All right. Cause sometimes I try to go real minimal, like setting the table means just there's two or three or four, if my kids are around plates.
Um, but it's important for her that I do that. And then, uh, a big knock on me is that, um, I I is that I've gotten much better at loading the dishwasher.
I've gotten much better. But I think for a long time, and this goes back to childhood, I had this, I just, it was a problem for me, loading the dishwasher.
The way you do it or just doing it in general? When I do it, it's doing it in general. And then when I do it, it's awful.
Like I'll try and jam a large plate into the silverware tray. And my wife usually ends up redoing it.
And so there's twice as many calories burned. So pity this woman because it's like asking an ape to help you with brain surgery.
Yeah. And then I just go rushing around the operating room, smashing into things.
So yeah, I would say it all, most of my chores revolve around dinner, ways that I can help complement and facilitate the serving of dinner. And so that's a little peek into my life.
And yeah.. Yeah.
That's, that's what I wanted to hear. I was, I was curious what you, you know, if you called like a butler to come help you or something.
Yeah. We had a butler once, uh, Blay, how did you like it? Uh, still waiting for payment.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, uh, no butler, not yet. That's one of those things from just old movies that I have to say, it always fascinated me.

It was an idea from that if someone had means,

they would have a butler.

Even if it was just a bachelor,

there would be like a gentleman.

Oh yeah, a gentleman there who, this is my man.

Yeah.

You know, his name's Gordon.

He'll take care of everything.

And he's in the corner, usually polishing a glass behind like a little cool mini bar. Yeah.
You know, his name's Gordon. He'll take care of everything.
And he's in the corner usually polishing a glass behind like a little cool minibar. Yeah.
No. Also, a valet.
I always thought, wow. You know, someone who you wake up in the morning and your clothes are all laid out.
And then you have to go. We travel so much for the travel shows.
I'm always running around cramming things into bags and going where's my extra special sunblock and what's special that is it was made by the government anyway that's what I do I would say it's a fascination no no butler and still no valet but one day it'll all come my way But what I do. I would say it's a fascination.
No, no butler and still no valet. But one day it'll all come my way.
But now I've got the world's only triple bong with my name on it. I can't believe there might be a point in the future where the three of us put our faces that close together.
We're going to. That's where you're going to see me up close and fall in love.
Oh, my God all right well dan thank you so much i salute you uh and i love i mean you're an artist you really are you're a terrific artist and uh even though we are not related uh you're a young lad so i'm allowed to say i'm proud of you i really am i glad when I see, I really do get energized when I meet all these young people

that can kick ass

and do all these amazing things.

You're a craftsman.

You're out there killing it.

So thank you so much

and best of luck with your company, Apex.

Apex.

Yeah, Apex Design, yeah.

Apex.

A-P-I-X.

A-P-I-X.

Cheers, Dan.

Oh, there it is.

I was distracted by my own face.

Thank you guys so much.

Thank you.

All right, shout out to Apex. I can't wait to see you guys use that.
You will. You will.
All right, take care, Dan. Oh, there it is.
I was distracted by my own face. Thank you guys so much.
Thank you. All right, shout out to Apex.
I can't wait to see you guys use that. You will.
You will. All right, take care, Dan.
All right, thank you guys. Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovcesian, and Matt Gourley.
Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao.
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.
Supervising producer Aaron Blaird. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples.
Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.
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