TOTAL PARTY KILL | Critical Role Chicago Live 2025 Part 2

Transcript

Speaker 1 At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder. That thing that says, I will not accept this world that is.

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Speaker 1 that world can't wait to see what you'll do. Where will your wonder take you?

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Speaker 1 Hey there, critters.

Speaker 11 This is Ashley Johnson And Talis and Jeffy.

Speaker 1 And we're popping in here to talk about our new podcast on Beacon, Weird Kids.

Speaker 11 In this series, we're diving into our lives as former child actors, from unraveling our eccentric upbringings to embracing all the delightfully odd interests we still have today.

Speaker 1 We're covering so many topics like antique toys, taxidermy, Japanese pop culture, and honestly, anything else we come up with.

Speaker 11 Weird Kids is available exclusively on Beacon. But good news, we're offering a one-month free trial on beacon.tv so you can take a look before you become a member.

Speaker 11 Just use the code weirdos at beacon.tv to start the trial.

Speaker 1 You can also find fellow weirdos by following the series on our at the weird kids pod Instagram and using the hashtag weirdkids.

Speaker 11 So to all the misfits, outcasts, and weirdos out there, come take a seat at our table and celebrate all things unconventional, nostalgic, and wonderfully weird.

Speaker 11 Welcome to Weird Kids.

Speaker 1 New episodes release every Tuesday.

Speaker 20 Hello there.

Speaker 21 It's Liam O'Brien, and you're listening to part two of this episode from the Critical Role Podcast Network. If you haven't checked out part one yet, pause this now and head over there first.

Speaker 18 Otherwise, enjoy part two.

Speaker 15 And let's bring us back into the story for tonight.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 15 Somehow pulled

Speaker 15 and plucked from the chaos of your disparate lives,

Speaker 15 you have endured a series of strange contests against allies, friends, strangers alike, under the guise of one MC.

Speaker 15 After a burst of emotional, spiteful frustration, and a number of rounds of humiliation and hurt, you find yourself shunted to an oddly darkly lit green room to briefly have a moment to think

Speaker 15 while he probably handles an ad read somewhere

Speaker 15 but before he arrives you all look up at each other hurt exhausted and

Speaker 15 with just a few moments alone

Speaker 15 to talk

Speaker 16 Oh gosh.

Speaker 3 All right guys, I really feel like we gotta start working as a team.

Speaker 16 Look, when I went over there

Speaker 26 Shut up for a second, Bern and listen to Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 28 When I went up to him and I kind of

Speaker 3 touched him, I got a sense of his energy.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 3 There's something dark inside, like an incredibly dark manifest

Speaker 3 and sitting in the center of his chest. I don't know, it's hard to describe.

Speaker 20 Wait, like actually, his chest is really hard.

Speaker 31 I don't know.

Speaker 33 Like a mole or something?

Speaker 3 He should get it checked out regardless. But I'm just saying, I think that there's like

Speaker 35 something not right. right.

Speaker 36 Also, did anyone else get the sense that he's not exactly in charge here?

Speaker 37 Yes, I kind of felt that.

Speaker 38 Yeah, no, he seemed really sad and like he had somebody that was bossing him around and he kind of didn't want to do it.

Speaker 39 And every time I make fun of him,

Speaker 22 it really seemed to really pierce through a bit.

Speaker 38 What if, what if he's on the line and if like he doesn't get approval, then like somebody kills him or something.

Speaker 24 Whoa.

Speaker 38 Whoa. But it kind of feels like that's going to happen to us too.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But should we just like keep insulting him?

Speaker 28 We could and then just his ego seems very fragile.

Speaker 31 All I know is it does.

Speaker 29 It felt terrible being on the opposite team as Caleb.

Speaker 17 I don't like that. A new grog, a new firm.

Speaker 20 And the hot one.

Speaker 43 I feel really bad.

Speaker 13 This is exactly what losers say when they're losing.

Speaker 26 I'm going to cast Mask Your Wounds.

Speaker 24 Yes.

Speaker 24 Whoa.

Speaker 31 Wait, wait, you can heal?

Speaker 38 I've done it before, but okay.

Speaker 38 Who's really hurt? Anybody? I know our team is super duper hurt too.

Speaker 1 But low over here.

Speaker 5 Yeah?

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 38 You and Caleb, how are you?

Speaker 31 I'm okay for me.

Speaker 7 Oh, okay.

Speaker 14 But okay for me is probably weaker than a lot of people here.

Speaker 38 Grog, you're fine. You seem so big against Grog.

Speaker 32 I'm fucking fine.

Speaker 38 Alright, then I'm going to cast mask your wounds wounds on the six of us minus croc.

Speaker 47 Oh

Speaker 37 excellent.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 38 So that is, I'm casting that, that's a fifth level.

Speaker 38 And that's 4d8 plus

Speaker 38 five hit points.

Speaker 10 One, two, three.

Speaker 15 What? You hear some heavy footsteps begin to approach the exterior of the green room door as it creaks open and stepping into the chamber, the MC himself, Malvolio Contreras.

Speaker 49 Hello, everyone.

Speaker 10 Oh, hi!

Speaker 24 Hi!

Speaker 24 How's it going?

Speaker 4 Are you enjoying the amenities?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, so much.

Speaker 38 Yeah, I really like your donuts.

Speaker 1 Yes, it's all so great.

Speaker 50 I'm so glad.

Speaker 51 I wish there was more alcohol in the green room.

Speaker 39 I also requested a bowl of green MMs, and I can't find them anywhere.

Speaker 4 I'll send a note.

Speaker 16 Well, let's be real. We're not doing this for copy credit.

Speaker 3 Neil, my guy, what is the end goal here?

Speaker 38 We were just talking about you and how sad and weak you seemed and it made us feel so bad.

Speaker 36 I was hoping you'd change clothes too, because I just want to keep making fun of you.

Speaker 39 It's really hard not to.

Speaker 29 It's, I mean, there's got to be something wrong with you. This desire to perform in front of thousands of people.

Speaker 53 Only, only a truly broken person would

Speaker 29 do that intentionally and make fools of themselves in front of people like that.

Speaker 53 Someone very insecure would like parade around shaking their butts for strangers.

Speaker 20 It's true.

Speaker 4 I'm thinking about setting up a tour.

Speaker 4 You think your words can hurt me?

Speaker 55 Oh no, no, no.

Speaker 50 We have many more games to play.

Speaker 56 Murdy, show them what we've set up for you.

Speaker 41 Just look around.

Speaker 15 As he snaps, you watch the green room melt away, and once more, your troop now sits in the center of this massive theater, thousands of faces watching on, some on your side, some still thirsty for blood.

Speaker 15 But there above it all, you see an impossibly complex, tall,

Speaker 15 I can almost say a sculpture of a physically challenging contest mountain. You see electrified cages hanging from massive lengths of chain, themselves sparking with blue and green electrical energy.

Speaker 15 You see bubbling lava pits that are themselves sending forth blasts of molten rock. You see acid geysers spraying in the upper areas, dissolving nearby parts.
of the theater.

Speaker 15 You see spinning blade tracks that go from side to side,

Speaker 15 just releasing a terrifying display of contest. You see spiked pendulums swinging around,

Speaker 15 themselves splattered with blood of all sorts of color and ignoring. You see lightning arcs between poles.

Speaker 15 It is a deathly mountain with fire spouts, toxic sludge waterfalls, and a terrifying

Speaker 15 advancement of the few contests you've already engaged.

Speaker 4 Quick, Fern, gaze into another dimension.

Speaker 56 What was the name of Matthew Mercer's best childhood friend?

Speaker 20 What?

Speaker 25 Oh,

Speaker 4 and I'll cast fiery encore.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 4 Whoa!

Speaker 38 Wait, wait, before

Speaker 38 we left the green room, did I get my spell out?

Speaker 15 I'll say just in time you managed.

Speaker 38 Okay, in that case, everybody healed 19 points before we came back. I'm sorry, it's not better.

Speaker 37 All right, all right.

Speaker 37 I did it!

Speaker 17 Thank you.

Speaker 32 Roll four attacks.

Speaker 44 What? Four.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 15 24, does that hit you, Fern?

Speaker 44 Yes.

Speaker 44 Wait.

Speaker 48 Hold on.

Speaker 15 Just give me a little bit of time. A 27 hit you?

Speaker 24 Yes.

Speaker 24 And hit

Speaker 15 third time.

Speaker 15 27, does that hit you?

Speaker 44 Wait, of course it's shield.

Speaker 4 16, 17, 17.

Speaker 15 Does that make your AC?

Speaker 39 My cast has beat that very high number.

Speaker 1 Wait, what did you roll? 24?

Speaker 15 24, 27, 27.

Speaker 24 Oh, it's

Speaker 20 24.

Speaker 38 Sorry, I didn't hear that. That's okay.
You got me.

Speaker 15 So you watch as Malvolio conjures fiery bolt after fiery bolt, tossing them towards your feet, exploding, forcing you to dance once more, suddenly, rushing backward. You take from those blasts there.

Speaker 15 Is it fire damage?

Speaker 15 There.

Speaker 15 27 points of fire damage as you are now dancing from the the flame.

Speaker 15 Ow!

Speaker 35 As long as you're in my realm, you're at my behest. You dance for me, or you do nothing.

Speaker 4 I'm tired of these games. I'm not here to see you fail.
I'm here to see you die.

Speaker 64 Is this your realm, though?

Speaker 43 Really, is this your realm?

Speaker 36 Because, boy, you seem like a bloody day player to me.

Speaker 64 Does my far power feel weak to you?

Speaker 65 I feel like your power is not yours at all.

Speaker 43 I think you're an empty suit.

Speaker 15 That one hurt a little bit. Alright, I need you to make a wisdom-saving throw, Mo.

Speaker 66 Wisdom-saving?

Speaker 15 A natural

Speaker 15 if you decide to engage until Malvolio's next turn, he takes full damage. What do you do?

Speaker 38 I go over and I try to give him a hug and comfort him. And while she's holding it, and while I'm doing that, I'm gonna cast inflict wounds.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 25 Okay. Here we go.

Speaker 15 I would like all of you to roll initiative.

Speaker 25 Including

Speaker 25 you.

Speaker 35 In my realm, big mistake.

Speaker 25 Let's go with that die.

Speaker 49 All right.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 15 25 to 20.

Speaker 25 Uh, uh, hang on.

Speaker 17 23.

Speaker 7 Uh.

Speaker 4 25.

Speaker 10 Whoa!

Speaker 16 Wait, I'm still figuring out. Okay, also 25.

Speaker 20 Rollies, let's go.

Speaker 4 I love a good game, Rollies. One, two, three.

Speaker 16 Look me in the eye. Look me in the eye.

Speaker 16 14.

Speaker 59 Three.

Speaker 38 Yes, Bo.

Speaker 16 So we have Bo, just Bo Mal MC Just.

Speaker 15 anybody else in the 20s? 20 to 15.

Speaker 15 19.

Speaker 25 Grog.

Speaker 54 We got a grog.

Speaker 32 Okay, there we are.

Speaker 38 Wait, 17.

Speaker 9 Would you go grossly?

Speaker 20 Kingsley after grog.

Speaker 15 Anyone else? 17 to 15.

Speaker 46 11!

Speaker 15 All right, we have Veth at 11.

Speaker 15 10 to 5.

Speaker 64 Acht.

Speaker 68 It is an 8 for me. Alright.

Speaker 56 The mighty Acht!

Speaker 1 And that's a 5 for me.

Speaker 15 Fern, you are nothing if dependable in your initiative role.

Speaker 1 I can always bring up the rear.

Speaker 15 So, because Beauregard beat Malvolio in initiative for your round, what do you want to do?

Speaker 38 Wait, did I get inflicted?

Speaker 16 Inflict wounds off?

Speaker 30 Did I get my inflict wounds off?

Speaker 15 As you move into him, this is

Speaker 15 the moment that there was a moment of aggression and intent, that's when initiative order started. So your action next is going to do that.

Speaker 28 Beauregard, what are you doing?

Speaker 16 I'm going to run forward, and as I see Jester going up and taking the hug and kind of knowing, working together for as long as we have now, knowing what she's doing, I'm going to run, I'm going to slide on my knees, take my belabor staff, I'm going to do two cracks aiming for the lower half of his body.

Speaker 30 Crack, crack, crack, crack.

Speaker 16 That's what we say when we're in Chicago, baby.

Speaker 15 All right, let's go ahead and roll some attacks, Beauregard.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 28 First one, natural 20.

Speaker 15 That'll hit.

Speaker 16 Okay, first one, let's start with that one, just in case these.

Speaker 16 Weak roll. Six plus seven.
So, okay,

Speaker 16 13 damage on that first one.

Speaker 15 That was with the double for the crit on the dice?

Speaker 70 Correct.

Speaker 15 Okay.

Speaker 16 Stunning strike.

Speaker 61 Let me try. I did one.

Speaker 49 Alright.

Speaker 15 Well, go ahead and make a make a constant saving drum, Alvolio.

Speaker 4 Con save? Yes.

Speaker 15 Eight. That's a fail.

Speaker 16 Now Volio is stunned?

Speaker 4 So you think.

Speaker 15 Not even as a reaction.

Speaker 4 Oh, not even as a reaction. I can use it once perhaps.

Speaker 4 Thank you, Murdy.

Speaker 31 You're so useful.

Speaker 24 I said I'm here to help with boss.

Speaker 4 I'm going to cast Manifest Contestants.

Speaker 47 What?

Speaker 4 When I'm targeted with an attack, a weapon, or a spell, I can summon another appear to appear before me and take it.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 15 As Jester is currently wrapped around Malvolio.

Speaker 15 Jester, you take 13 points of damage, and you need to make the Constitution saving growth.

Speaker 24 No!

Speaker 47 Oh!

Speaker 47 That's messed up.

Speaker 24 Jester, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 30 Okay.

Speaker 38 15.

Speaker 28 I don't think that saves.

Speaker 38 Let me. Oh, wait, a saving throw.

Speaker 16 Saving throw.

Speaker 71 15.

Speaker 16 Uh, wait, still the still the same?

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Um, I don't think that that saves.

Speaker 38 Can't you drop stun if you want to, though?

Speaker 57 No.

Speaker 15 as you are clambering

Speaker 15 the MC, a heavy

Speaker 15 whack hits you in the side of your right hand kidney and your body seizes up. You are stunned by Bo Regard.

Speaker 16 I want to make... I don't think so.
I don't think so.

Speaker 15 That used Malvolio's reaction. You have the rest of your second attack and future attacks, Beauregard.

Speaker 16 That is true.

Speaker 16 I'm just trying to make sure here. Yeah, no, it's DC-17.

Speaker 10 Just do it. dope monk shit.

Speaker 30 I am gonna continue to do some dope monk shit.

Speaker 70 I'm gonna do my second attack. Let's go.

Speaker 20 Ooh, that is icky.

Speaker 16 12.

Speaker 32 12 is gonna miss.

Speaker 16 Okay. Bonus action, um, a pop-pop.
Flurry blows.

Speaker 15 Flurry blows. Let's go.

Speaker 75 Oh, my God.

Speaker 28 Really bad.

Speaker 31 Uh, really bad.

Speaker 16 16 is the highest out of that one. Those both missed.
No, both miss. Okay.

Speaker 15 Finishing Beauregard's turn.

Speaker 32 You're up, Malvolio.

Speaker 4 Oh, you'd like to take pokes at me? Well, that's fine. Why don't you take a poke at some impossible trivia?

Speaker 4 I will use impossible trivia. I ask you an impossible trivia question while I gloat.

Speaker 15 What's the question?

Speaker 4 The question is.

Speaker 15 You have to ask the trivia for it to work.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 46 Did you not come up with any of these?

Speaker 4 The person in the first row closest to the aisle, guess their name!

Speaker 44 Wait, I can tell you.

Speaker 44 I can tell you. Hold us.
No,

Speaker 30 they told us.

Speaker 30 I can't handle it.

Speaker 25 No.

Speaker 15 No,

Speaker 15 this is against you, Beau Regard. What's their name?

Speaker 56 I never told you. What's their name?

Speaker 55 What's their mother?

Speaker 16 They told us earlier because they asked a question.

Speaker 26 And we love the fans so much that we remembered Beauregard, what's the name?

Speaker 16 It was something like.

Speaker 31 It was cool.

Speaker 16 It was something. It was like Ashlyn or something like that.

Speaker 24 This isn't

Speaker 56 the convention goers' worst nightmare.

Speaker 1 Ashlyn. Can I tag in?

Speaker 15 Is Ashlyn your name?

Speaker 56 No.

Speaker 56 What is your name?

Speaker 55 River.

Speaker 44 Not

Speaker 24 River.

Speaker 44 River is a really cool name.

Speaker 1 River and Xavier.

Speaker 43 Ember and Ash are close, to be fair.

Speaker 15 Beauregard, make an intelligence saving for for me.

Speaker 16 That's a natural 19 plus 9 for 28.

Speaker 15 Okay, so you succeed, so you only take half damage. Okay.

Speaker 32 Which would have been, with this roll,

Speaker 15 would have been 48 points of psychic damage.

Speaker 15 You take 24 points of psychic damage. As the sheer volume of embarrassment and public fear of forgetting one of the fans in the front row's name

Speaker 15 sinks into your spirit, but you shrug it off as best as a person can.

Speaker 16 I don't believe any of this is real. I think they're all holograms.

Speaker 77 This is the AI universe that everybody wants.

Speaker 38 You could have just lied and said your name was Ashlyn.

Speaker 62 I'm just kidding. Yeah, we're the friend help out, Ashlyn.

Speaker 20 Yeah!

Speaker 17 Audience!

Speaker 41 Are you having a nice time?

Speaker 25 Good, good, good.

Speaker 46 Who out there plays a bard?

Speaker 46 Does anyone love a bard?

Speaker 4 Me too. I'd like to use my bonus action and cast bardic demoralization

Speaker 56 on the big one.

Speaker 15 How do you demoralize him?

Speaker 4 So big and strong. Yeah, but you know what I always say?

Speaker 57 Lean is law.

Speaker 73 Your muscles don't quite look as big as they used to.

Speaker 64 I feel like you're failing with age.

Speaker 4 Not working to failure on every set, are you?

Speaker 56 Not having hypertrophy. Where are you at 6 a.m.
when I'm at the gym, baby?

Speaker 24 I don't go to my lass in the accident. I don't max out my sensor.
It's true.

Speaker 4 You're gonna take a D12 and you must subtract it from your next D20 roll.

Speaker 72 Damn!

Speaker 15 A 10. That's minus 10 from your next D20 roll, huh?

Speaker 2 That sucks.

Speaker 57 That'll end my turn. Well,

Speaker 15 to do that, you have one more little bit.

Speaker 23 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 I always forgot about this one.

Speaker 56 My favorite.

Speaker 46 Get him, Murty.

Speaker 42 Alright, boss, who am I going after?

Speaker 35 Ooh, let's go for the little one.

Speaker 15 Come here. You watch as Murty.
Suddenly his eyes flash with burning red energy and massive blade-like claws extend from his fingers.

Speaker 15 And like a weird wolf on the prowl, he goes rushing towards you, Veth, and is gonna go ahead and attempt to strike you.

Speaker 15 Come on. Ooh, that's a natural two for a 12, I think that is.

Speaker 29 Ooh, I see you coming, and I do a little barrel roll, and I flick you on the gooch as I go by.

Speaker 24 I just slink back, boss in the gooch.

Speaker 4 Now that's comedy.

Speaker 15 And then I believe this is in your turn. Mm-hmm.
Alright, Jester. I'm stunned.
You're stunned on that.

Speaker 38 But wait, I have to be honest, because when I cast masculine

Speaker 38 wounds, I cast it at sixth level because I rolled for the eighth instead of three. Okay.
So that's a sixth level spell spot.

Speaker 15 That's fine. Okay, so how much more does that be?

Speaker 38 Oh,

Speaker 38 it was only 19. I just rolled like shit.
But that's it.

Speaker 20 That's fair enough.

Speaker 38 Alright.

Speaker 15 Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 15 You were already touching Malvolio when you were stunned.

Speaker 67 Yeah.

Speaker 15 Do you still want to cast the spell?

Speaker 38 Yes, I do. Can I do it?

Speaker 15 I will say...

Speaker 24 Yes.

Speaker 15 Because the traveler is here. You won't be able to move or do anything else in your turn.
Go ahead and make one more wisdom saving throw.

Speaker 55 Let's go.

Speaker 70 Come on.

Speaker 70 Come on, come on.

Speaker 70 Let's go, Cleric.

Speaker 38 Wisdom saving throw? 20.

Speaker 15 Okay, so

Speaker 15 the DC on this is an 18 for your presence there. That is success.
So while you are still stunned for your turn, the spell was already happening.

Speaker 15 And when you locked into place, you were still touching MC. As Malavolio, suddenly, you feel this burst of necrotic energy

Speaker 15 strike through your torso as Jester is still kind of around you like a human shield. After taking the hit, you see a faint grin on her blue teethling face as you take.

Speaker 38 That's oh, that's a seventh level spell because I already used my sixth, so that's 90/10 damage.

Speaker 15 Right, so go ahead and roll to attack.

Speaker 44 Roll to attack, roll to attack, roll to attack!

Speaker 15 After roll to attack as you're moving in.

Speaker 38 Come on, come on, come on, go. Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Speaker 64 Twenty-three.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 54 Oh, okay.

Speaker 59 Uh,

Speaker 54 eight plus five is

Speaker 24 thirteen,

Speaker 38 twenty-two, three,

Speaker 38 three,

Speaker 38 okay. Uh, twenty-three, thirty-three,

Speaker 20 thirty-seven,

Speaker 5 forty, forty-three points of necrodog.

Speaker 22 A heavy magical blow to you, Malvaleo.

Speaker 15 But you are still stunned and cannot move from the rest of the turn, so you are still there, more or less

Speaker 15 partially projecting and giving half cover to you from other strikes. Finishing gestures turn, you are no longer stunned now.

Speaker 67 Grog Euro.

Speaker 20 Yeah!

Speaker 24 I

Speaker 7 would like

Speaker 24 to rage

Speaker 78 And I would like to make

Speaker 55 I love you Chicago

Speaker 55 I'll make the first of my two of Bloodaxe attacks reckless great weapon master

Speaker 15 oh that first attack is a minus 15.

Speaker 32 Wow!

Speaker 33 Right.

Speaker 20 Damn.

Speaker 25 Oh,

Speaker 20 shit.

Speaker 78 That misses with a negative number thingy.

Speaker 15 The first swing as you billow up your muscular rage and anger, you charge forward, and the axe kind of shoof gets stuck into one of the wood beams of the green room.

Speaker 15 Oh, like exterior, and the opening of the stage.

Speaker 33 I must be a little bit rusty.

Speaker 15 Next one is

Speaker 13 23 minus 15 is a 15 to hit.

Speaker 32 That misses...

Speaker 10 Damage!

Speaker 27 Wait, is he supposed to subtract 15 from that one too?

Speaker 32 No, just from the first one.

Speaker 31 Oh, just from the first one?

Speaker 32 That's a 30 to hit.

Speaker 15 Go ahead and roll damage.

Speaker 32 That definitely hits.

Speaker 13 I like roller damage, Eskrog.

Speaker 32 It's fun.

Speaker 40 That is 26 points of slashy damage.

Speaker 15 Alright.

Speaker 15 I'll take it.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 15 26 points of damage. It doesn't do as much damage as you think.

Speaker 15 In fact, the necrotic hit that you hit with earlier, it seemed like as Mavolio gained his confidence on his turn, the impacts are somehow...

Speaker 15 slightly diminished like he is protected by some infernal force from within.

Speaker 78 It's almost like he's protected from some infernal force from within

Speaker 15 Grog.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it does go

Speaker 15 All right finishing Grogs go Kingsley we're up with Beth on deck

Speaker 36 now It's time to show you some bloody flare

Speaker 43 Kingsley slowly removes his long rapier takes his bifurcated tongue and cuts it along the blade

Speaker 36 letting the blood soak all the way across the blade, and then it slowly starts to glow with radiant damage.

Speaker 69 I take 1d8 necrotic, which is only two.

Speaker 39 And now,

Speaker 69 having that up and running,

Speaker 36 I make a nice little spin, walk up. It's going to come from the right, it comes from the left, and I'm just going to try and cut right above the cheek into that pretty, pretty face.

Speaker 39 And I'm going to make an attack

Speaker 20 with advantage

Speaker 39 because I'm also activating my sword, which will give me advantage, whereas my sword.

Speaker 69 Sword does all sorts of fun shit. That is easier to say.

Speaker 20 So the attack is...

Speaker 39 I rolled a 17 plus, God only knows, hold on.

Speaker 43 17 plus 12, so

Speaker 15 30 to hit. That'll get.

Speaker 15 So.

Speaker 39 That is because of everything that's 1d10 force, 1d10

Speaker 19 piercing, 2d6 for sneak attack, and 1d8 radiant for fun.

Speaker 10 I have a feeling this radiant is going to be a little bit more. Oh, my right!

Speaker 75 Well, I can re-roll one of these,

Speaker 39 which is my right, so I'm just going to go for it.

Speaker 32 That's a little better.

Speaker 81 That's 5

Speaker 75 14

Speaker 24 14

Speaker 20 15

Speaker 36 23 plus 9, which is

Speaker 75 32 points with some radiant damage in there.

Speaker 15 32 points of damage coming towards you, Malvalio.

Speaker 50 This is starting to get annoying.

Speaker 33 So I'm going to take another attack really quickly while I'm there.

Speaker 15 Now this attack, also, you're noticing, you strike true and it goes in, but there is a density and a magical protection to Malvolio.

Speaker 15 So while you do manage to inflict hurt and pain, see the reaction in his face from the impact, it's still not as strong as you would hope.

Speaker 34 Magical protection.

Speaker 27 It's like his ego is protecting him.

Speaker 24 Oh, you're so boring.

Speaker 36 And I'm going to flip around with my other attack and attack you.

Speaker 32 Attack me? Yeah.

Speaker 15 Go for it, roll an attack.

Speaker 31 You get your hands off of him.

Speaker 24 Too late.

Speaker 80 That's not great.

Speaker 33 That's...

Speaker 39 I can swear I count. 21 to hit?

Speaker 15 21 hits.

Speaker 33 Oh, well, there we are.

Speaker 39 And I don't get that, but I still get my Radiant.

Speaker 39 And I get my other D8, so it's Radiant and Force, I believe, I still get, so that's uh, and an extra d8 as well. There we are.

Speaker 81 Tahi! That's uh

Speaker 39 five, six, seven, eight, nine, uh,

Speaker 82 thirteen,

Speaker 82 uh,

Speaker 39 22 points of damage.

Speaker 47 I need a strike.

Speaker 32 Carves through Murdy.

Speaker 53 Boss, boss, this is supposed to be coming for you.

Speaker 20 I know, I know.

Speaker 4 Murdy, I know we've only known each other for a few months, but I love you like a goddamn brother.

Speaker 56 Legendary action.

Speaker 55 What?

Speaker 56 Get him, Murdy!

Speaker 42 Yeah, boss.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 15 As Murdy dives towards you, let's body dance.

Speaker 32 The natural one.

Speaker 20 Yes, more of those. I literally Olay you passed.

Speaker 42 I tried, boss.

Speaker 15 Keeps it the ready. That's going to finish your turn.
Oh, yeah. Alrighty, with that, Veth, you're up with Caleb on deck.

Speaker 29 I like how Murdy is turning into Crusty the Cloud a little bit.

Speaker 7 Hey, I'm just trying to make it work. It's okay.

Speaker 20 Don't worry about it.

Speaker 27 I feel like we have to damage his ego or distract him somehow.

Speaker 29 So I'm going to spend my turn

Speaker 29 shouting out to the MC.

Speaker 3 Sure, you've got cockiness and bravado, but

Speaker 29 shouldn't you be concerned with

Speaker 31 that piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe?

Speaker 29 And I'm going to cast Phantasmal Force.

Speaker 47 There we go.

Speaker 15 That's an intelligent saving throw? It is. Roll an intelligent saving throw for me.

Speaker 32 That's a six.

Speaker 26 Six.

Speaker 26 So you have a piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe, and it's got like a little bit of poo on it.

Speaker 47 You look down and see.

Speaker 31 And you just can't get it off.

Speaker 47 It is messy.

Speaker 15 It is embarrassing. Make a wisdom save me, please.

Speaker 10 I hate it.

Speaker 56 That's another six.

Speaker 24 No, no, no.

Speaker 4 That's an eight. That's an eight.
It's an eight.

Speaker 15 Dejection in Malvolio's face. His attention is now half divided amongst the non-existent toilet paper piece.
And the tracks it's leaving in his imagination.

Speaker 32 It seems... Yeah.

Speaker 15 Is there any any damage for that?

Speaker 26 Uh, I mean, it's one D6 psychic damage.

Speaker 15 Hey, it all adds up, buddy.

Speaker 25 One.

Speaker 25 You take

Speaker 25 one damage.

Speaker 24 But

Speaker 4 for the last four pieces of damage I've taken, you should all know that this is the first time you've seen even one piece hurt me for one point.

Speaker 4 Because it was half that damage on the one before, and half on the other, because I have unflappable confidence.

Speaker 4 And for the first time ever,

Speaker 20 I'm flapped.

Speaker 62 I like it. I like it.

Speaker 46 He can be flapped.

Speaker 47 That's my turn.

Speaker 15 All right, that finishes Vetsko. Caleb, you're up with the Fernon deck.

Speaker 66 Yeah, okay, so I see that our host is locked into place, which I like.

Speaker 14 I also like that my best friend has cracked into his psyche.

Speaker 19 I ignite the Storm Rider boots and start Iron Man flying towards him.

Speaker 14 I pull out a wad of gold dust from my hand and antique his golden coat and cast the dunamantic spell immovable object at sixth level.

Speaker 14 Monster.

Speaker 4 That's the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

Speaker 15 Malvolio.

Speaker 15 In a reaction, in a moment of reactive time, watching him fly through, you would almost stumble back in awe.

Speaker 15 But you can't stumble or move because your jacket is currently frozen in place.

Speaker 24 Wow.

Speaker 15 You could try and move, but it is a contested role against his spell capability.

Speaker 19 It's my DC, and since it's at sixth level, it's my DC plus 10.

Speaker 19 Damn. Gotta be to 28, my friend.

Speaker 14 Where did that come from?

Speaker 20 Wait, wait, where did that come from?

Speaker 24 What's sexy, wizards?

Speaker 20 You know. Is that wizard shit?

Speaker 20 Is this even doable, Murphy? Yeah.

Speaker 42 Boss, it was a really clever idea. You're gonna let it slide?

Speaker 56 Jack it on or jack it off.

Speaker 10 We'll find out.

Speaker 15 When we get to your turn, we'll see what you want to do. All right, Caleb, does that finish your go?

Speaker 19 All I'll say is that it's 90 feet of movement with those boots, so I will rock it in and then rock it the fuck away while he is unable to do any of that.

Speaker 15 Okay, you rock it off kind of beyond the stage for a bit, and you're at the edge where the audience is kind of keeping yourself at bay from the center of this chaos.

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Speaker 61 Ooh, Gecko, I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app.

Speaker 60 Could you sign up? Sign what? The app?

Speaker 67 Sure.

Speaker 85 Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again?

Speaker 23 Anything to help, I suppose.

Speaker 86 Get more than just savings.

Speaker 68 Get more with Geico.

Speaker 73 When you need eye-catching content fast, use Adobe Express, the quick and easy app to create on-brand content.

Speaker 73 Make visually consistent social posts, presentations, videos, and more with brand kits and lockable templates. Edit, resize, and even translate, all in just a click.

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Speaker 85 Prolon is a plant-based nutrition program featuring soups, snacks, and beverages that nourish the body while keeping it in a fasting state, triggering cellular rejuvenation and renewal.

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Speaker 85 These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
See site for details.

Speaker 15 You got it. All right, finishing Helps Go, Fern, you're up with Bo on Deck.

Speaker 1 So I

Speaker 1 you Malvolio is stuck in place?

Speaker 33 Currently, it's

Speaker 33 extremely dejected.

Speaker 62 So. Double stuck.

Speaker 1 I would like to, since there's a little bit of darkness in there, I think I'd like to cast Moonbeam.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to do that at,

Speaker 1 let's just go ahead and do it at sixth level.

Speaker 1 Sure. And also, this says, I don't know if this will apply, but maybe it will.

Speaker 1 A shape

Speaker 1 makes it saving throw with disadvantage.

Speaker 67 Interesting.

Speaker 76 Uh-oh. How interesting.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 32 What was the save?

Speaker 25 Is it wisdom?

Speaker 1 It is Constitution of 20.

Speaker 47 Oh,

Speaker 76 I failed on the first roll.

Speaker 62 Do you have to go

Speaker 20 a second time?

Speaker 25 He did!

Speaker 25 Okay,

Speaker 25 okay.

Speaker 15 So you do fail the moonbeam. Go ahead and roll damage, Fern.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 20 Fern palaway on that act.

Speaker 87 Cancer, do good, did it good.

Speaker 25 Alright, using my tens.

Speaker 44 Okay.

Speaker 9 Alright, so we got 60 tens.

Speaker 25 Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn.

Speaker 12 Oh, this isn't very good, y'all.

Speaker 1 Alright, so we got 11

Speaker 1 plus 7, 18.

Speaker 1 We got, oh,

Speaker 1 that's another 10.

Speaker 1 28, 21.

Speaker 38 No, we eight, so sorry.

Speaker 15 27. Okay, that's four.

Speaker 26 Major two of these.

Speaker 1 All right, plus

Speaker 1 another six.

Speaker 20 24.

Speaker 15 Got it.

Speaker 66 These dice are normal size.

Speaker 68 Are you okay?

Speaker 24 Yes. I'm okay.

Speaker 16 It's because the crew provided her with them.

Speaker 24 Correct.

Speaker 15 I didn't bring any of my teeth. A massive flash of pure lunar magical energy columns up from beneath Malvolio and blasts him, enveloping him in beautiful, burning, pure white moonlight.

Speaker 15 It burns the outside of your skin, and in this moment, take full damage from the spell.

Speaker 15 As it begins to burn, you see like curling ash marks at the edge of his cheeks.

Speaker 25 That's a pretty nasty hit.

Speaker 15 Anything else you want to do in your turn, Fern?

Speaker 48 Uh.

Speaker 67 Sure.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 Mister's been hanging out.

Speaker 44 Mister, threw some shit at him.

Speaker 24 Don't you dare!

Speaker 58 Anything but this.

Speaker 15 Mister has advantage on this roll because he is locked in a coat.

Speaker 23 Wait, say again?

Speaker 15 He's locked in a coat, so mister has advantage on the attack roll.

Speaker 20 Great.

Speaker 15 He can't dodge a flaming turd.

Speaker 15 Not that well, at least.

Speaker 41 It's a full metal jacket.

Speaker 20 It's funny because it's frozen.

Speaker 25 Oh,

Speaker 45 boo.

Speaker 32 I'm here for it, though.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I'm just trying to find Mister here.

Speaker 59 There we go.

Speaker 20 All right, we got...

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. I rolled a natural 19 for him.

Speaker 5 Plus 11.

Speaker 67 That'll hit.

Speaker 15 Go ahead and roll flaming poo damage.

Speaker 9 Oh, let's add some poo-poo damage.

Speaker 32 one more d20 just to see just to see one more d20 one more d20 yeah you had advantage

Speaker 88 now

Speaker 1 it's worth trying uh all right that's a four

Speaker 20 we got four plus six we got a ten we got ten fire damage damage straight through flaming poo

Speaker 15 to the kind of neck and left shoulder area malvolio and you need some toilet paper to wipe that off

Speaker 15 And firm?

Speaker 25 You're good. We're children.

Speaker 1 That's the end of my turn.

Speaker 24 Murdy.

Speaker 55 Murdy, how am I looking, baby?

Speaker 42 I mean, honestly, right now, a little rough, boss. At least on a visual standpoint.
Like, you look gorgeous.

Speaker 15 Your whole ensemble's a little wrecked.

Speaker 50 Say it again. Say it, look gorgeous.
You look gorgeous.

Speaker 42 One more time.

Speaker 88 You look gorgeous. Yeah, baby.

Speaker 56 And I'm gonna use my legendary action.

Speaker 23 Another round

Speaker 4 in which I can use one of my standard attacks at any time.

Speaker 4 And this one's for you, Fernie.

Speaker 4 Covered in shit?

Speaker 35 Thanks a lot.

Speaker 4 Hey, audience, did you like it when she covered me in shit?

Speaker 56 Good, because the louder you applauded, the more damage it did to her!

Speaker 47 So

Speaker 15 as the audience begins to spill and grow and volume from earlier, as their cheers begin to echo and reverberate, it fills the chamber and all of you find yourselves grabbing your ears.

Speaker 15 I need everyone to make Constitution Saving Throw.

Speaker 44 All of us, all of us?

Speaker 15 All of you. Is this a spell or a legendary action? This is a legendary action.

Speaker 20 Is it a magical effect?

Speaker 33 They don't consider it a magical effect.

Speaker 41 It's not good. Oh, no.

Speaker 39 Saving throw constitution.

Speaker 25 Oh no.

Speaker 37 Is this a spell or a magical effect?

Speaker 26 He just said that.

Speaker 17 Did he? I didn't hear.

Speaker 46 Is it? It is. Yeah.

Speaker 17 It is? Okay.

Speaker 44 Is this a spell or a magical effect?

Speaker 20 There's a lot going on.

Speaker 20 Alright.

Speaker 49 Beauregard.

Speaker 70 It's not good. 13.

Speaker 15 23 points of thunder damage.

Speaker 31 Kingsley.

Speaker 67 18.

Speaker 15 That just succeeds. So you take 11 points of thunder damage.
Beth.

Speaker 30 12. 11, 11!

Speaker 15 11, you take 23 points of thunder damage. Jester.

Speaker 38 Spoil or something? Can't you avoid it?

Speaker 64 Evasion or something.

Speaker 44 Evasion?

Speaker 15 It's not a dexterity saving. Okay, great.

Speaker 38 I rolled a 12.

Speaker 33 Grog.

Speaker 67 25.

Speaker 32 Caleb. Svolf.

Speaker 15 Fail.

Speaker 15 Yeah,

Speaker 15 23 points of thunder damage. And Fern.

Speaker 44 6.

Speaker 15 As the roar of the audience washes over you and shatters your, not just your sense of self and confidence, but you feel your bones vibrate with like a horrible aching pain as it passes.

Speaker 15 You find your body self-racked with soreness immediately thereafter. That finishes Ferns Go and your last two legendary actions for now.
Beauregard, you're up.

Speaker 28 Hey, you guys know those like those guys who do the like moving statue thing, you know, on the street?

Speaker 3 That's you.

Speaker 25 Right now.

Speaker 16 I'm bad at insults.

Speaker 24 Okay, I'm gonna look around.

Speaker 72 Um.

Speaker 16 Okay, I'm gonna go off script a a little bit here. Question.

Speaker 16 This is being broadcast to a larger audience, right?

Speaker 15 There's an audience present.

Speaker 16 There is an audience present.

Speaker 15 Do you want to see if there's anything beyond that?

Speaker 29 But it is being recorded for future broadcasts.

Speaker 16 Do we see something that would resemble a fantasy version of cameras?

Speaker 15 Make a perception check. Thank you.

Speaker 20 What's a camera?

Speaker 20 Describe.

Speaker 20 Arcane optics device.

Speaker 30 Okay, 15.

Speaker 15 15.

Speaker 15 You can see across the audience in the far end of the theater, there are a small number of arcane devices, tube-like, with strange crystals affixed to the end of it, that seem to be trained on the movements of you and your compatriot since you arrived.

Speaker 16 Um, how far away is it?

Speaker 31 Uh, it's about

Speaker 15 100 feet. I don't know if it's maybe a little under.

Speaker 20 Clever girl.

Speaker 35 Yes, make it cannon, Matt. Make it cannon!

Speaker 29 It's got a red light on it!

Speaker 32 It might be an actual cannon.

Speaker 20 You're right.

Speaker 16 I see it. I see it.
Okay, I am going to head towards the crystals with the red lights that keep shifting.

Speaker 15 Alright, what's your movement?

Speaker 16 My movement is 50, so I'm going to step in the wind to get there. Send it to right at 100 feet.

Speaker 15 100 feet, that'll get you there. Beauregard,

Speaker 15 you dart through the center of the audience and charge through the theater right up against one of these crystal devices.

Speaker 16 So I kind of run up and I do a little dope monk shit and jump on everyone's heads as I go over.

Speaker 25 Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Speaker 16 And I go over and I take

Speaker 16 two strikes at the

Speaker 20 recording crystals.

Speaker 15 Go for it. Make two attacks.

Speaker 72 Alright.

Speaker 72 Believe in you.

Speaker 16 Yep, those are very good. The first one is a natural 19, bringing it to 31.
And then the second one is going to be 24.

Speaker 15 So now both of those hit, go and roll damage. Okay.

Speaker 16 The first one at the first camera is going to be 13 damage. Okay.
The second one is going to be 14 damage. Okay.

Speaker 16 How did the first crystal look after the first one?

Speaker 15 A heavy impact and it cracks, but it's still holding strong. And the person behind it who's holding it, they're like robed figure, looks up like small horns inside of the head, like,

Speaker 25 what are you doing, miss?

Speaker 77 Go away.

Speaker 33 Okay, and they run away.

Speaker 16 And I'm going to use that second one to break the

Speaker 30 crystal.

Speaker 44 It's time for his union break.

Speaker 15 With a second impact, Beauregard, you shatter this device.

Speaker 15 And with that one connection to the viewership of this event of which you're a part of is scattered and destroyed, which effectively an element of Malvolio's defenses has been slightly reduced.

Speaker 45 Good job!

Speaker 45 Yes!

Speaker 45 Okay.

Speaker 78 Everybody wave and get a round of applause to our camera option.

Speaker 20 And out our camera!

Speaker 16 But unfortunately, I still have two more attacks because I'm going to do a flurry of plumes to the other one.

Speaker 63 Well, you have to roll your...

Speaker 25 Whoa!

Speaker 20 Go get there.

Speaker 31 Perfect. Roll your dice.

Speaker 15 Roll your dice. What you got?

Speaker 16 Natural 19.

Speaker 30 That's constant.

Speaker 16 And a 7. Not as good.

Speaker 20 So that's going to be a 7.

Speaker 34 7 plus 12 is

Speaker 3 19.

Speaker 15 19. I'll say 20 is the target for these devices.

Speaker 15 So that unfortunately misses. One of them does hit.
Roll damage. Okay.

Speaker 20 That's good.

Speaker 16 That's going to be

Speaker 16 14 to the first one.

Speaker 88 A heavy impact. Crack!

Speaker 15 And it kind of gets sent partially out of its mooring. It's still holding on, and you can see a faint arcane glow kind of sparking from within the crystal.
So it's still functioning, but just barely.

Speaker 25 Sorry. Sorry,

Speaker 77 that finishes my turn.

Speaker 15 That brings us back to Malvolio. As you dust yourself off, the confidence reinstilled, you watch.

Speaker 15 He feels a little more in control in this moment.

Speaker 50 Oh, you think you're so smart

Speaker 4 damaging me by damaging the anachronistic fantasy devices you see around you?

Speaker 50 Well, it appears as if you've forgotten that this is my domain.

Speaker 4 And my passive ability is this is my domain.

Speaker 4 And as you see around you the modern stage, the proscenium, the lights, and chromatic orbs before you, the space changes to stone and dirt and dust and misuse.

Speaker 4 And before you is an ancient Colosseum, still filled with the souls of Xandria watching in awe.

Speaker 23 But the orbs are gone,

Speaker 4 and you stand alone in the high-arching area that no longer has a camera.

Speaker 4 My turn is our home bonus action. action.

Speaker 19 Still frozen in place, though?

Speaker 23 My turn!

Speaker 15 If you'd like to, you could use part of your attack action to try and escape the coat with an acrobatics check.

Speaker 19 To beat a 28.

Speaker 15 Well, that's to keep the coat.

Speaker 1 Hang on, are you starting?

Speaker 15 You're starting your turn in the moonbeam.

Speaker 1 Correct. Alright, so you could take more damage.

Speaker 32 That's true.

Speaker 10 Fucking

Speaker 10 go!

Speaker 59 Let him go!

Speaker 10 Let them go!

Speaker 25 Let them go!

Speaker 25 Alright, so

Speaker 40 free rides around here.

Speaker 7 Go ahead and roll. Make a constitution saving throw.

Speaker 1 You have to beat a 20.

Speaker 15 Ooh, that'll be a 27.

Speaker 10 Oh,

Speaker 67 it's half damage, though.

Speaker 1 So, okay, 2d10 radiant damage.

Speaker 45 Go ahead and roll it. Okay.

Speaker 20 Where's my tints?

Speaker 84 Wait. Where's my tins?

Speaker 24 That's what I heard.

Speaker 20 I mean, that's what I heard. Hopefully, right where you left.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's 14. Seven points of radiant.

Speaker 15 Okay, seven points of radiant damage to you. Not a heavy impact.
You're still locked in your coat.

Speaker 15 You can try and force against the magical lock that holds on it, or you can try and squeeze out of your coat, like dislocate your shoulders a little bit and get out.

Speaker 15 Probably an easier roll for acrobatics, but it's up to you. Murdy!

Speaker 24 How?

Speaker 56 Murdy, can you get this thing off of me?

Speaker 57 Boss.

Speaker 42 Yeah, easy enough to.

Speaker 42 Nah, but boss, it's kind of hard to move.

Speaker 15 Are you trying to squeeze out of it or are you trying to swim?

Speaker 4 I'm trying to squeeze out of it with Murdy's help.

Speaker 15 Alright, Murdy will help you with the advantage.

Speaker 15 This will be the get-a-murdy action on your turn. Yeah, I'll take it.
Alright, so go ahead and roll an acrobatics check with advantage. That is a plus 11.
Let's go.

Speaker 15 Pretty good. It's a 26,

Speaker 15 which does not beat his thing. One more time.

Speaker 20 You stinky wizard!

Speaker 32 That's not gonna do it.

Speaker 24 Oh, no.

Speaker 15 You are still locked in your coat, but you still get at least one of your abilities. You wasted Murdy's to help you on that.

Speaker 1 Hold on a minute.

Speaker 1 You have disadvantage on your Constitution saving throw. So I know you rolled a 27, so

Speaker 15 disadvantage on the saving throw?

Speaker 1 You have a disadvantage on the saving throw.

Speaker 30 For one. If you are a shape-changer.

Speaker 32 Shape changer.

Speaker 15 That's right. Yes, roll one more time.

Speaker 47 Oh.

Speaker 56 Murdy, you've been doing this for so long.

Speaker 58 How do you keep track of all this shit?

Speaker 25 Fuck!

Speaker 25 That's a natural one.

Speaker 10 Okay, okay.

Speaker 63 That's Courtney.

Speaker 37 All right, well, hang on a minute.

Speaker 20 Oh, boy.

Speaker 1 So this says, a shape changer makes a saving throw with disadvantage. If it fails, it also instantly reverts to its original form.

Speaker 1 And can't assume a different form until it leaves the spell's light.

Speaker 1 No!

Speaker 1 Please! No!

Speaker 56 Please,

Speaker 56 I've done everything you've asked of me.

Speaker 24 I've brought them here.

Speaker 46 They're alive.

Speaker 56 I'm trying to make them dead.

Speaker 48 What the fuck do you want from me, man?

Speaker 15 A dark voice rings out from the ether around the entirety of the theater.

Speaker 20 I gave you these gifts.

Speaker 50 Use them as we see fit, or I will take them away.

Speaker 15 Do we hear this voice? As the moon...

Speaker 15 As you hear it faintly through the chamber, as the moonbeam takes hold, what glamours fade from your change? What do they see, if anything changes about you, Malvolio?

Speaker 24 I paid

Speaker 20 2,000 pieces of gold for this.

Speaker 56 And now this audience is going to get feet for free.

Speaker 56 No!

Speaker 25 Anything but that.

Speaker 25 Wait, but you're only just. That's your whole hang dog tone?

Speaker 44 You're literally just had.

Speaker 34 It's going up.

Speaker 31 Wait, you were literally. You just changed to have boots?

Speaker 13 Did you say you have a dark toe?

Speaker 44 No, but that's good.

Speaker 38 You just have bare stinky feet now?

Speaker 48 What?

Speaker 38 You have bare stinky old feet now?

Speaker 20 Yes,

Speaker 23 I got stinky old feet.

Speaker 25 A lot of hair on that upper.

Speaker 20 Just one of them.

Speaker 31 My feelings are really hurt right now, and I did it to myself.

Speaker 15 Which does, on your turn,

Speaker 15 demoralize you enough for I need you to make another wisdom saving throw.

Speaker 15 Alright, that is gonna be

Speaker 15 plus eight.

Speaker 23 Ooh, okay, 22.

Speaker 15 22, you hold on it. So you feet exposed the world around.

Speaker 15 You still hold your shit together.

Speaker 48 Alright.

Speaker 55 I did it. I'm good.

Speaker 23 You better give me a little boost here, you son of a bitch.

Speaker 46 Who are you talking to? Don't worry about it.

Speaker 34 Take a turn.

Speaker 38 Insight

Speaker 23 Make an inside check.

Speaker 15 What are you trying to learn?

Speaker 15 Sure, make an inside check.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 10 Uh, ooh.

Speaker 25 Uh,

Speaker 3 23. Ooh.

Speaker 33 23?

Speaker 15 Uh.

Speaker 15 Best you can tell, you do not recognize this voice. But there definitely seems to be a

Speaker 15 very direct connection between Malivolio's actions towards this voice and his current disposition. That's the best you can make out for this.

Speaker 15 Malvolio, is there anything else on your turn you can do? What? Are you good with your turn?

Speaker 31 I think I'm good for now.

Speaker 15 Have a bonus action.

Speaker 35 Thank you. Thank you, Murder.
You've always been a good friend. That's what I mean, Pobas.

Speaker 22 Here to protect you.

Speaker 15 How to keep you nice and sane, safe, and hurting things.

Speaker 20 Alright.

Speaker 20 Bardic demoralization

Speaker 35 against you.

Speaker 57 The most charming one.

Speaker 59 Me?

Speaker 20 Jesus.

Speaker 4 Your next D20 gets a negative D12 roll.

Speaker 15 Oh, man.

Speaker 25 Sorry.

Speaker 15 And that finishes Malvolio.

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Speaker 15 Jester, you're up with grog on the bottom.

Speaker 20 Jesse.

Speaker 24 stir.

Speaker 45 Jess, stop.

Speaker 38 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Is he still stuck in his coat?

Speaker 15 He's still stuck in his coat with

Speaker 15 Murdy trying to pull him out of it.

Speaker 42 Like, Bosch, don't worry, don't worry.

Speaker 25 We got this.

Speaker 25 Don't look over here. Okay.

Speaker 20 We're just a little undressing between boys.

Speaker 54 Okay.

Speaker 25 Just a little undressing.

Speaker 54 Okay.

Speaker 71 I'm going to for

Speaker 24 oh god.

Speaker 55 Okay.

Speaker 38 For my action, I'm going to cantrip. No, I don't want to do that.
But listen, listen, shut up, okay?

Speaker 51 Okay, what I'm going to do:

Speaker 26 I'm going to conjure a spiritual weapon.

Speaker 38 And instead of my normal, beautiful lollipop,

Speaker 38 it's going to be just a giant golden traveler-shaped dick.

Speaker 46 Like the biggest one.

Speaker 38 Really floppy. And I'm gonna try to smack, smack him upside the head.

Speaker 20 Is that really floppy?

Speaker 38 Yeah, it's a floppy dildoy sort of waguing wagon, like rubber.

Speaker 15 What level are you casting it at?

Speaker 38 Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 62 I was gonna cast it at level eight, so it's really big.

Speaker 23 Listen, listen, listen.

Speaker 35 Eight's not as big as you think.

Speaker 10 Oh, man.

Speaker 44 I only cast up to threes.

Speaker 20 It's a whole new world out there, bro. I don't know.

Speaker 24 Look at you.

Speaker 38 I don't think it's going to hit him, though.

Speaker 24 Here's the little is.

Speaker 10 Where'd you roll?

Speaker 17 I haven't rolled yet.

Speaker 15 Well, roll an attack roll with it as the giant floppy traveler dick

Speaker 38 guidance

Speaker 15 in action to cast guidance on your turn.

Speaker 72 Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 Okay, I was just trying to give her a little.

Speaker 51 Of course.

Speaker 24 Oh,

Speaker 38 oh, that's is that really good? No, that's really bad.

Speaker 34 Minus D12.

Speaker 38 Yep. Minus the D12 or minus 10?

Speaker 20 Minus D12.

Speaker 38 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 20 I won't answer regardless.

Speaker 20 Let's see what it is.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 24 No.

Speaker 20 No.

Speaker 44 That's rough.

Speaker 38 Oh, that's a seven.

Speaker 48 Not bad.

Speaker 32 The floppy swing.

Speaker 15 It's really big, though. It's really big, but like a massive kaiju.

Speaker 33 It's like slow in its arc.

Speaker 25 And it kind of like...

Speaker 15 It just misses by about three feet and then ricochets back.

Speaker 15 You've never flung something so large and turgid.

Speaker 66 Too flaccid.

Speaker 14 Too flaccid to find its target.

Speaker 44 Okay, listen.

Speaker 38 I was just trying to make it look like you!

Speaker 83 I absolutely have to roll for that.

Speaker 15 I mean, you're still demoralized, but sure, let's go for double demoralization.

Speaker 55 Double demoralization.

Speaker 15 That's actually, within 18, that's still pretty good. So yeah, so you're

Speaker 15 the next attack is not getting advantage against you, but that still kind of sucks.

Speaker 47 That hurts.

Speaker 38 For my action,

Speaker 38 I'm going to cantrip

Speaker 38 Sacred Flame,

Speaker 38 which is a dexterity-saving throw.

Speaker 15 Which you automatically fail because you cannot move.

Speaker 38 So

Speaker 38 I automatically do 3d8 damage. Okay, okay, okay.
So at least that's something.

Speaker 15 Yep, Grog, you're up next.

Speaker 38 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 24 Ooh.

Speaker 7 Uh, whoa,

Speaker 15 he's gonna be ganged up on by seven.

Speaker 38 22 points of radiant damage.

Speaker 77 Seven or seventeen?

Speaker 20 Boom, there we go.

Speaker 38 And you still have a really big dick just flopping right next to you.

Speaker 20 Just a floppy dick. I had to scream before.

Speaker 30 Floppy two band.

Speaker 15 Alright, that finishes your go?

Speaker 67 Yes.

Speaker 15 Grog, you're up.

Speaker 78 At the introduction of this big floppy space whale that just fucking evaporated in front of everything, I'm gonna go into a frenzied rage.

Speaker 29 I'm gonna make three attacks.

Speaker 20 Reckless, great weapon master.

Speaker 78 One against the space dick and two against

Speaker 55 natural 20.

Speaker 19 What? Wait, wait, don't roll again, don't roll again. Is this an advantage because our enemy is locked in place?

Speaker 44 Locked in place.

Speaker 15 In this instance, no, he just has a.

Speaker 31 But the first attack's against the dick.

Speaker 20 It's reckless.

Speaker 15 Is this against the dick or is this against Malvolio?

Speaker 24 The first one was the dick.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 20 The next two are against Malvolio.

Speaker 46 Why are you attacking the penis?

Speaker 56 Listen, why would you not attack the penis?

Speaker 7 29 to hit for you?

Speaker 15 29 does hit.

Speaker 8 Oh, minus 5, so it's actually 24 to hit.

Speaker 15 24 hits.

Speaker 32 Still hits.

Speaker 80 And 17

Speaker 8 plus 10, 27 minus 5 is.

Speaker 33 22. 22.
Both hit.

Speaker 22 Beautiful.

Speaker 40 First, Space Whale meets your vengeance.

Speaker 15 5 plus 5 plus 10 plus.

Speaker 8 Oh, plus the blood axe does 1d6 necrotic damage 6. That's 17.

Speaker 8 21 points of damage on the floppy penis.

Speaker 15 Your axe swings wide through the ethereal phallus to no impact. It is beyond your ability to harm Grog.
This might be the most dangerous thing you've ever fought.

Speaker 48 Yes.

Speaker 20 Yes.

Speaker 33 Focus, Grog.

Speaker 20 Leave the space whale for another day.

Speaker 20 What is this?

Speaker 4 And right before you tell me what damage you take,

Speaker 4 in my frozen form I turn to Kingsley and say, oh, hello, pretty.

Speaker 4 Ready to die again?

Speaker 4 And I cast, as my reaction, manifest contestants, and you immediately teleport from where you are to directly in front of me to absorb Grog's blow.

Speaker 31 Counterspell.

Speaker 15 It's not a spell.

Speaker 15 It's a magical effect, but it's not a spell.

Speaker 32 Good looking out.

Speaker 15 Things that you take a heavy hit from Grog as you're suddenly taking the entire blood axe blow to the chest.

Speaker 79 And the very last one, 12 plus 5 is 17 plus 3, 20, 20, 20 points of slashing damage for the very last 20.

Speaker 7 20 right attack.

Speaker 15 So one does hit true and mark into Malvolio, taking a heavy chunk of the wound left.

Speaker 32 Yeah, from me to you, and the space penis gets it later.

Speaker 15 Does that finish your turn, Grog?

Speaker 15 Alright, that finishes Grog's turn.

Speaker 15 Do you want to do that?

Speaker 23 Yes, what was that sound my mouth just made?

Speaker 25 Yeah,

Speaker 31 That was a mouth stress part.

Speaker 56 Yes, it's my legendary action.

Speaker 31 I feel like doing a little encore.

Speaker 4 And I'm going to cast two fiery bolts at you, Grog, because I'm spiteful.

Speaker 23 Let's go. First one.

Speaker 4 Fuck. 14 does not hit, I assume.

Speaker 32 Can I also use Mage Slayer?

Speaker 48 Yes.

Speaker 15 Yeah, you can.

Speaker 15 But but this is after the attack. So the attacks will happen, and then you get the reaction.
Perfect.

Speaker 15 14 misses.

Speaker 48 Yeah. And I think.

Speaker 15 The next one, roll more time. It's 10 million.

Speaker 67 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 32 Guys. Same.
14.

Speaker 20 Oh, never mind.

Speaker 40 I won't use Mage Layer, bitch.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 56 You can't retcon me in my own game.

Speaker 15 I think that finishes Grog's turn. Kingsley, you're up with Beth on deck.

Speaker 43 As I'm now bleeding with my back to you, I'm going to thank you, Grog, for that, by the way. That's why the coat's red.

Speaker 22 You don't have to see it.

Speaker 43 I'm going to lean back,

Speaker 43 make a nice blare, and go, I think that's mine now, darling.

Speaker 36 And I'm going to use my first attack,

Speaker 43 also while activating my blade, to try and pierce the hat right off the MC's head.

Speaker 20 Not the hat.

Speaker 32 Alright, this.

Speaker 39 And I'm on double speed speed and advantage because I activated the activated.

Speaker 15 Yeah, alright, so yeah, take the attack roll with advantage.

Speaker 15 This is going to be

Speaker 15 so you're not doing it for damage. You're just no damage.
So this will be a contested acrobatics roll from you to you. You will have advantage in this role because you cannot move as well in the seat.

Speaker 15 You're just trying to move your head out of the way.

Speaker 36 So this is an acrobatics roll?

Speaker 81 Correct.

Speaker 15 All right. You have an advantage on it, you do not.
So go ahead and roll and add your acrobatics.

Speaker 38 He's really hurting now.

Speaker 41 Ha ha ha.

Speaker 31 Mercy,

Speaker 35 I can't bear to look at it.

Speaker 56 Would you please tell.

Speaker 42 Bro, you are rolling so bad.

Speaker 31 I feel like

Speaker 56 the top of the show was great.

Speaker 20 The musical number turned out pretty good and like they were on my side, but then they figured it out and started to be mean to me.

Speaker 74 What's it? Sam.

Speaker 42 I'm sorry to tell you, boss, that's a natural one.

Speaker 15 Bro, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 20 Oh, this is what I get for spending $300,000 on drama school.

Speaker 15 And what'd you roll?

Speaker 20 I rolled a 26.

Speaker 15 With a rapid flick of Kingsley's wrist, the rapier pierces and plucks the hat off your head.

Speaker 36 A little Bob Flossy.

Speaker 43 Bob Flossy. Flossy.

Speaker 20 There we go, right in.

Speaker 65 I put the hat on myself where it clearly looks better.

Speaker 36 I take a bow, spin around, and take a slash against his face.

Speaker 36 For my second attack.

Speaker 15 All right, we finished the first attack.

Speaker 20 Please, I beg of you.

Speaker 58 I work so hard on the set, and everyone we put this together.

Speaker 56 Just don't say that they're small.

Speaker 56 Oh my goodness.

Speaker 25 Those are baby horns.

Speaker 31 No, they're not. They're growing.

Speaker 17 Mine's bigger than yours.

Speaker 48 I am a grower, not a shower.

Speaker 48 Listen.

Speaker 38 Listen, mine got bigger as I got older. Maybe yours will do the same thing.

Speaker 25 Oh.

Speaker 31 Fuck the Mohawk, it's worth it.

Speaker 44 And he's vanquished!

Speaker 15 Bosh, I think you're beautiful.

Speaker 23 Are you sure, Murdy?

Speaker 4 I feel like they're turning against me.

Speaker 15 Murdy kind of looks off the distance for a second. His eyes go black.

Speaker 90 Yeah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 15 Yeah, you're doing fine.

Speaker 15 Take your second attack, Kingsley.

Speaker 43 24 to hit.

Speaker 15 That hits go to world damage.

Speaker 32 Woo!

Speaker 32 Let's see.

Speaker 33 Yeah, no, I'm happy with all of this.

Speaker 31 Yeah.

Speaker 20 That's 12,

Speaker 25 18, 19.

Speaker 82 25.

Speaker 15 A heavy hit, Malvolio.

Speaker 15 You're starting to feel a little winded.

Speaker 32 And I'm back.

Speaker 15 The blows are starting to cut through not just your ego, but your

Speaker 76 previously perfect physical form.

Speaker 15 You're starting to wither.

Speaker 23 Say it ain't so.

Speaker 4 Merdy, it's not time for Botox yet, is it?

Speaker 42 I got a friend who can hook you up with a Groupon.

Speaker 20 I'll talk halfway.

Speaker 15 That finishes your turn, Kingsley. Oh, yes.
Beth, you're up with Caleb on deck.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 29 I probably should attack, but I just can't.

Speaker 29 I'm going to do something different.

Speaker 29 Earlier, you called this audience a bunch of strangers.

Speaker 20 That's not true.

Speaker 29 These aren't strangers. These are fellow Xandrians.

Speaker 26 These are comrades in spirit.

Speaker 29 These are critters.

Speaker 29 I'm gonna cast Tasha's hideous laughter on the audience

Speaker 29 and have them mock you with their laughter.

Speaker 48 No!

Speaker 48 Come on!

Speaker 27 Laugh at him!

Speaker 52 Laugh at him!

Speaker 15 I'm gonna do something weird with this.

Speaker 15 Hey, roll this dice for me, Jester.

Speaker 25 Oh my gosh!

Speaker 38 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 15 All right, roll it on the ground.

Speaker 54 Wait.

Speaker 54 Oh!

Speaker 54 Does that mean they resist it?

Speaker 20 Wait, did they resist it? You can keep that.

Speaker 87 Is that good or bad? And so,

Speaker 15 with a high enough roll, I ask you,

Speaker 15 the jester in the front row, do you give in to the hideous laughter?

Speaker 15 Suddenly, the entire audience begins to roar with endless chuckles and laughter.

Speaker 15 Oh, I'm just to do that!

Speaker 15 I'm just gonna do this to me.

Speaker 4 Is this not enough?

Speaker 56 You're not entertained!

Speaker 15 Malvolio.

Speaker 25 Oh my god.

Speaker 15 As you slink back to your seat, the voice takes in again.

Speaker 48 What

Speaker 20 are you doing?

Speaker 90 This execution is delayed.

Speaker 24 I'm sorry, I

Speaker 4 kind of went off script for a minute.

Speaker 35 I think I got a little bit caught up in the applause and forgot what it was supposed to do.

Speaker 15 A flash of dark magic dispels what holds your coat in place, sourceless from its location.

Speaker 23 A little bit sweaty in here.

Speaker 20 Hey,

Speaker 31 hey, you know what?

Speaker 50 I remember what I'm supposed to do.

Speaker 4 I'm supposed to kill these motherfuckers.

Speaker 34 Total party kill.

Speaker 35 It's what everybody wants.

Speaker 56 They claim to be your fans, fellow Xandrians, but they want to see you suffer.

Speaker 31 Oh, I'm feeling better right now.

Speaker 31 Yeah, laugh all you want.

Speaker 56 Let's do this.

Speaker 4 Final wind.

Speaker 35 Bring it on, motherfuckers.

Speaker 15 A brave face he holds, but the dejection of that room of laughter still cuts deep. The next round has advantage on all attacks against Malvolio.

Speaker 25 Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 62 Good job, everybody. Good job.

Speaker 15 So, Veth finishes your turn.

Speaker 32 Caleb, you're up.

Speaker 14 All right, well, after seeing my best friend just ruin this man's whole life,

Speaker 14 I think it's about time we start trying to end it. And I just walk calmly up to him as the gold coat dissolves away, pulling a stone up the length of my arm, which glows green.

Speaker 14 And I press my hand to his chest and cast disintegrate.

Speaker 14 What? Come on, come on.

Speaker 15 So, for that, is that a deck save? Deck saving throw from you, Malvolio.

Speaker 67 Fucking whiff.

Speaker 35 Good thing you've never cast this spell before, ever.

Speaker 4 Knock knock who's there

Speaker 50 28

Speaker 43 Well, I don't know I don't know if he Akira opens up a hole in his chest, but that's a success a big success

Speaker 15 against

Speaker 39 You're safe. Yeah, I'm an 18.

Speaker 15 Yeah, 28. So as you unleash this wave

Speaker 15 You blast it outward and as he says this to you he just smiles and And you watch as the visage of Malvolio turns to black smoke and fades away, and you immediately sense him behind you.

Speaker 15 Like something had plucked him from that moment in space, and he just apparates this dark, tiny horned shadow that just looms over from behind.

Speaker 65 I look to Jester and say,

Speaker 39 he's behind me, isn't he?

Speaker 4 I'm gonna use my legendary action

Speaker 10 one more time.

Speaker 15 You have two more left if you want to use them.

Speaker 4 Because I'm going to use two slots to cast another round, which requires two actions.

Speaker 77 And I'm going to cast Multitasker.

Speaker 4 And I'm going to make one attack, and afterwards, Murdy's going to finish the job.

Speaker 56 And I'm feeling my confidence fall more and more because I dropped the only D20 left at the table.

Speaker 31 Holy shit, that's a sock.

Speaker 65 Here we go.

Speaker 43 I cast blood, curse of the eyeless while this happens.

Speaker 15 Okay, so you have disadvantage on the attack roll.

Speaker 20 This one's going to start firing blood in your eye.

Speaker 75 Is this for me?

Speaker 35 Not great.

Speaker 50 Does a 19 hit?

Speaker 77 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 20 With negative d8?

Speaker 15 Disadvantage, because you roll again.

Speaker 77 No, it gives it negative d8.

Speaker 31 Say it.

Speaker 15 Sing it. Oh, no, yeah, it's negative d8.

Speaker 33 Negative d8. Sorry, sorry.

Speaker 15 So 19.

Speaker 67 Minus.

Speaker 31 A D8. Oh,

Speaker 25 you want me to roll?

Speaker 20 Yeah, I want you to roll.

Speaker 39 Minus

Speaker 20 a one.

Speaker 15 18 still hit.

Speaker 32 Damn. Shield.

Speaker 7 Okay, okay.

Speaker 20 Roll again.

Speaker 23 I'm still good at this.

Speaker 31 Again.

Speaker 15 19 with shield.

Speaker 15 What's your AC currently with shield?

Speaker 79 AC with shield is 22.

Speaker 15 Roll again. Third blast.

Speaker 15 That's a 22.

Speaker 20 Beats it, beats it. Yeah.

Speaker 15 So go ahead and roll that damage.

Speaker 20 Oh, good.

Speaker 56 I'm feeling the hot tonight, baby.

Speaker 34 That's an I roll as a three.

Speaker 15 Three points of fire damage killed, and then roll one more as your final blast.

Speaker 49 Oh, look. That's a 20.
That misses.

Speaker 20 I feel it all falling apart.

Speaker 31 Don't worry, boss, I got this.

Speaker 89 I wince a little bit and real quiet say, this is beneath both of us.

Speaker 20 That's it.

Speaker 15 All right, as

Speaker 15 you see him kind of pull back with this look of shock and despair of failing this amazing retribution, a dark shape curls over Malvolia's shoulder as you see Murdy goes, Don't worry, boss, I got him, and leaps towards you.

Speaker 15 That's gonna be a 24 to hit you. Sure,

Speaker 32 and with that, you too.

Speaker 33 Oh, yeah, that's gonna be oh, this is a nasty one.

Speaker 49 Uh,

Speaker 84 Okay.

Speaker 15 As Murdy just begins to claw and tear into you like this ravenous beast.

Speaker 15 That finishing caleb's go, Fern, you're up.

Speaker 67 Alright.

Speaker 1 I've never done this before.

Speaker 54 You've got this far.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm gonna walk up to Mal and just put my hand on his shoulder.

Speaker 29 I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

Speaker 1 Um, but I'm gonna cast contagion

Speaker 1 at fifth level.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you have to succeed on a constitution saving thrower or take 11d8 necrotic damage and earn a point.

Speaker 20 How many?

Speaker 20 Wow.

Speaker 20 Plus eight.

Speaker 57 26.

Speaker 31 Damn.

Speaker 29 He doesn't have have disadvantage.

Speaker 15 You know what? I'll allow it one more time. You were dejected.

Speaker 24 24.

Speaker 52 Oh.

Speaker 25 Alright.

Speaker 10 This is connected really high.

Speaker 25 Okay, so.

Speaker 1 Do you take half damage?

Speaker 15 What does it say on the spell? Okay, let's see.

Speaker 1 Also choose one ability when you cast the spell.

Speaker 62 Oops.

Speaker 1 Wild poison, the target has disadvantage on saving throws. Okay, that doesn't count.
The target must repeat this.

Speaker 20 Okay, hold on.

Speaker 39 A lot of texts on that one.

Speaker 47 This is the DD experience.

Speaker 24 It doesn't.

Speaker 20 I don't know if it goes through.

Speaker 15 If it doesn't say half damage on a success. It doesn't.
Then I think it's an all or nothing.

Speaker 44 The target must succeed on a constitution throwing away. I haven't removed the spell.

Speaker 24 Wait.

Speaker 1 The target must succeed on a constitution saving throw or take 118 necrotic damage and have the poison condition. Also, choose.
Okay. I'm reading the same thing over and over again.
Okay.

Speaker 20 It is.

Speaker 20 Who can relate? It didn't work.

Speaker 33 Oh, no.

Speaker 15 You resist the spell, Malvolio. A good try.

Speaker 20 Damn, that was really cool, Fern.

Speaker 15 As you feel the intent of dark nature magic attempt to tear your physical body asunder from inside with a disease, you shrug it off, and now Fern stands before you, looking up with a little bit of a confused smile.

Speaker 1 As a bonus action, can I just talk to him for a second?

Speaker 15 What do you want to say?

Speaker 17 Hey, so

Speaker 41 you look like

Speaker 1 you're kind of not into this. Like, you look like someone else has put you in charge of this.
Why don't you jump on our team as the fourth member and like forget whoever is puppeting your strings?

Speaker 1 We can protect you.

Speaker 1 We're protectors of the realm.

Speaker 31 That's a pretty good offer.

Speaker 31 Come on.

Speaker 24 Come on.

Speaker 4 What do think?

Speaker 35 Give me a break?

Speaker 35 Yeah, give him a break.

Speaker 35 I will eat your soul if you don't finish them.

Speaker 73 That's a no.

Speaker 24 Alright.

Speaker 1 I was just throwing it out there.

Speaker 15 Beauregard, you're up.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 3 A lot's happened in a round.

Speaker 20 Yep.

Speaker 28 I'm gonna finish my

Speaker 16 regional job and take out this other cam crystal.

Speaker 7 Wait, are we back? Right.

Speaker 15 And there's none there since you are now in a ruined amphitheater where you were tranced. You were shifted by Malvolio into a different theater.

Speaker 28 Wait, am I here? Am I here? Am I still here? Do I see anything?

Speaker 31 Yeah, still here?

Speaker 63 You're still with everybody else.

Speaker 15 You're just in a different theater now.

Speaker 38 Bo, didn't you notice when everything disappeared and we entered a different theater?

Speaker 57 No, I noticed. noticed.

Speaker 38 Maybe we should hit him instead. He's the one with the giant dick next to him.

Speaker 72 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 It's right there!

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 57 I'm still 100 feet away, aren't I?

Speaker 67 You are. Okay.

Speaker 42 I run 100 feet, Jesus.

Speaker 20 Doing step of the wind. Monks.

Speaker 16 I once again bounce across the audience members' heads. Sorry, sorry.

Speaker 57 Oop, sorry, oop, thank you. Oh, oh, thanks for the boost.

Speaker 16 And then I jump, and then I'm going to run across the space whale, and I'm going to do a flip off of the penis, and I'm going to come down.

Speaker 56 Oh, with a big slap with my stick!

Speaker 32 Let's attack.

Speaker 15 Go ahead and roll your attacks.

Speaker 59 A pop hop.

Speaker 72 Wow.

Speaker 47 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 55 Pretty bad.

Speaker 16 17 and 16.

Speaker 15 Both of those missed.

Speaker 70 It's that that slippery dick. It is that slippery.

Speaker 38 Wait, I thought all attacks against him were at a damn thing.

Speaker 15 Because of the bad thing. Yeah.
That was for the next round, or like the next.

Speaker 38 I thought it was the next round.

Speaker 20 So all of our hits.

Speaker 15 You know, I'll allow it, sure. So that first attack misses.

Speaker 32 That would have been advantageous in the first attack.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 16 Second attack.

Speaker 16 Much better. The second one is going to be 23 to hit.

Speaker 15 That does hit.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 15 Okay. So you got one through.

Speaker 41 Got one through.

Speaker 85 nine damage

Speaker 16 stunning strike

Speaker 15 make a constitution saving throw for me now.

Speaker 32 Fail it.

Speaker 62 Fail it.

Speaker 17 Fail it.

Speaker 72 Fail it. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 72 Eighteen?

Speaker 83 You just make it.

Speaker 48 Yeah.

Speaker 32 Okay, that's it. That finished.

Speaker 15 Beauregard, as your turn finishes, Malvolio.

Speaker 15 That angry voice that was so furious and terrifying suddenly slips in your ear.

Speaker 90 But it's not too late.

Speaker 73 You have my gifts, and they're closer to death than you think.

Speaker 32 You have my

Speaker 90 compatriot, you have my sight.

Speaker 90 Do what must be done,

Speaker 76 Murdy.

Speaker 4 Bring down the music.

Speaker 20 Bring down the lights.

Speaker 4 The stage changes once again.

Speaker 4 And this time it's just us.

Speaker 4 It's ten years in the past.

Speaker 79 And it's someone's living room.

Speaker 24 What the shit?

Speaker 4 There are Doritos on the table. There's iced tea.
Maybe a drink or two.

Speaker 4 And some friends gather around a table for the first time ever.

Speaker 4 And they're playing a game where maybe you find a path to somewhere fun and beautiful.

Speaker 4 And they all know each other from different places in life.

Speaker 35 And maybe, just maybe,

Speaker 4 there's a spark of friendship there.

Speaker 29 You got this jock guy.

Speaker 65 Who's also a theater nerd and he's not so sure but the girl that he loves loves it so he's in too.

Speaker 4 And you got old-time friends who've known each other forever. You got people who only worked together, and maybe they've only found each other a few other times.

Speaker 4 The history's there, and Malvolio doesn't know all the details. He's only been around for a little bit, but the vibe that he gets is that these heroes are meant for something just a little bit

Speaker 32 greater.

Speaker 20 And you all start to fade away, and you polymorph into little flies, a fly on the wall,

Speaker 20 and it's you.

Speaker 4 And you've been there since the beginning, and you get to see it unfold.

Speaker 4 And they play, and they play, and they laugh, and they snack, and they drink, and they joke. And at some part, after a few days, or weeks, or years, who knows?

Speaker 4 I don't know the story, but they decide maybe someone else wants to see this.

Speaker 83 And it's a spark, It's a little spark.

Speaker 7 And it grows and it grows.

Speaker 4 And that fire grows and it lights the room and the room becomes bigger and the room changes. The room changes into a little studio with a little shitty camera.

Speaker 35 And someone goes, oh man, is anybody going to watch this?

Speaker 4 And they kick up the lights and no one's done it ever before. Who the fuck watches DD on TV?

Speaker 4 And there it goes,

Speaker 35 and there it grows.

Speaker 20 And here we are in a big room tonight, the only ones live in person that will ever see this moment.

Speaker 88 And you're loving it.

Speaker 4 You're loving it, and we're loving it with you.

Speaker 4 And the coolest part is, the coolest part is, yeah, you're dialed in, you're with us, but you're in the backs of your own minds too.

Speaker 4 And you think about your living room and your snacks and your drinks and your friends.

Speaker 50 And God, we'd love to see it too.

Speaker 73 And the scene changes, and the sparkle changes, and the egos go away.

Speaker 4 And it's just a game. And for one last round, we're gonna try to fuck each other up.

Speaker 47 Let's go, baby!

Speaker 56 I cast imposter syndrome!

Speaker 30 You don't need to!

Speaker 31 Just kidding!

Speaker 4 I'm going to cast the deadly game.

Speaker 4 And I'm going to choose someone that I haven't been nice to. I'm going to pick Fern

Speaker 4 and I'm going to pick this

Speaker 4 and right now you both have to make well you you choose which of these you want to use

Speaker 56 spikes come up from the floor Dorito shaped spikes

Speaker 4 I'd like you both to make an acrobatics

Speaker 15 you choose athletics or acrobatics acrobatics

Speaker 42 yes oh ooh cool ranch

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 4 So, Bertie, is it a skill check or a saving throw?

Speaker 15 No, this is a skill check. At this point in time, you've both of them been shunted into part of the terrifying mountain of competition, and they are now competing against each other.

Speaker 15 So, both of you roll against each other.

Speaker 20 Against each other? Correct.

Speaker 1 Wait, we're wrong.

Speaker 44 Yes.

Speaker 31 Are we going to go?

Speaker 44 Against each other?

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 4 Are we trying to jump or push or what?

Speaker 15 You're trying to avoid the terrifying blades that are spinning around the mountain as Dorito spikes.

Speaker 1 Which one am I gonna do? Which one am I gonna do?

Speaker 25 What am I gonna do?

Speaker 20 I think it's athletics. Did you say athletics? Athletics or acrobatics? Both terrible.
Acrobatics or acrobatics.

Speaker 83 Acrobatics, acrobatics.

Speaker 47 Alright, come on.

Speaker 26 14.

Speaker 26 Nine.

Speaker 1 11.

Speaker 15 Fern, you take 28 points of slashing damage as you cannot keep up, and the first leg of the contest is complete. I need you both to roll again.

Speaker 15 No!

Speaker 84 Same athletics again? Acrobatics.

Speaker 12 I am 11 hit points. Which one?

Speaker 25 Acrobatic.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 84 Okay.

Speaker 84 29.

Speaker 33 Okay, I'm gonna roll it in here. I'm gonna roll it in here.
I'm gonna roll it in here.

Speaker 52 Got

Speaker 52 10.

Speaker 24 Fourth.

Speaker 15 Fern, you take 16 points of slashing.

Speaker 38 I'm out.

Speaker 38 Come out.

Speaker 15 There is a third round here.

Speaker 15 Roll acrobatics.

Speaker 8 Acrobatics, I get an advantage on.

Speaker 31 15.

Speaker 15 You land swimmingly, avoided all of the dangerous traps and blades and spikes. As you continue with the friends, you all turn back.
And where Fern had fallen and the blades continue to grind her in.

Speaker 15 You take two death saves.

Speaker 38 I take two death saves?

Speaker 56 Yes!

Speaker 43 Two death fails.

Speaker 32 Correct.

Speaker 12 So I have two failures.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 4 Which one of you would consider themselves the healer?

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 7 that's

Speaker 26 a trick question.

Speaker 30 That's a trick question.

Speaker 44 That's a trick question.

Speaker 38 Yeah, I would do that.

Speaker 4 Oh, thanks for being so honest. Bodic demoralization, negative D12 on your next turn.

Speaker 29 That's it for me, friends.

Speaker 15 Boss, do you want me to do anything to help?

Speaker 57 Yeah, why not?

Speaker 23 Get him, Murdy.

Speaker 42 You're the healer, you said, right?

Speaker 15 Let's dance.

Speaker 15 And Murdy charges towards Jester.

Speaker 45 Oh, no!

Speaker 15 That's gonna be a 19 to hit. What's your armor class?

Speaker 38 Oh, 19.

Speaker 22 It just hits you.

Speaker 15 Oh, no. Okay, Jester.

Speaker 47 Okay.

Speaker 15 Plus.

Speaker 15 Oh, nice. It's a 22 points of damage, Jester.

Speaker 20 Uh,

Speaker 20 fuck you.

Speaker 38 What kind of damage?

Speaker 15 Uh, this would be slashing damage. Okay.

Speaker 24 Okay, wait.

Speaker 30 Screw you.

Speaker 38 I have hellish rebuke.

Speaker 63 Yes.

Speaker 25 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 38 So you're going to take three D10

Speaker 38 cold damage.

Speaker 15 All right, Constitution save for me is gonna be a 17. What's the DC on yours?

Speaker 10 I don't know.

Speaker 38 Oh, uh, 18! Ha ha ha!

Speaker 15 Alright, so, yeah, Murdy's gonna take it. Go ahead and roll the damage.

Speaker 15 And Jester, your turn is after this.

Speaker 38 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 54 14.

Speaker 48 Whoa, that was so good!

Speaker 38 24 points of cold damage!

Speaker 15 Murdy takes a heavy hit and gets blasted back into your shoulder. You see all these like icicles stuck to the body.

Speaker 83 Hey, boss, I'm feeling a little chilly.

Speaker 20 Oh, Murdy, let me hold you.

Speaker 89 It's getting dark out there, boss.

Speaker 56 No, no, Murdy, stay with the light, please.

Speaker 31 You're the only friend I ever had.

Speaker 4 You will not kiss me right now.

Speaker 15 No, I'm just blown away by the fact that you haven't had any friends.

Speaker 55 That's kind of...

Speaker 24 Oh, shut the fuck up!

Speaker 15 That finishes our turn, Jester. You're up.

Speaker 16 Dungeon Master, real quick.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Would that be considered an attack against another person other than Beauregard?

Speaker 15 from Murdy yes

Speaker 28 not from

Speaker 15 not from MC technically no

Speaker 16 all right all right fuck it I'll do it anyway sentinel attack against Murdy before the attack let's go

Speaker 25 let's go

Speaker 16 okay I think that's going to hit with a 25 that hits roll damage

Speaker 16 that's gonna be 11 points of damage yeah Murdy takes a heavy crack of the jaw

Speaker 4 If we're gonna do something, we gotta do it soon.

Speaker 25 Starting to get a little

Speaker 42 spinny, boss.

Speaker 15 Kenna looks up, his eyes go black for a second.

Speaker 15 Jester, your turn.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 38 I see Fern getting

Speaker 26 tangled up in those things, and I'm gonna run towards her.

Speaker 38 Okay, right as I turn back to you and I say, fuck off, and I slap him across the face with my spiritual dick.

Speaker 15 Go ahead and roll an attack. It is not an advantage since you've regained some of your composure.

Speaker 38 As he knowy, but it was the full round that we haven't gotten back to.

Speaker 15 Till his next turn.

Speaker 20 Fuck.

Speaker 31 It's you that controls the space whale.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 26 22.

Speaker 31 Do they have bartic division? A D12.

Speaker 33 Do you have to

Speaker 20 do that? Sorry.

Speaker 64 Roll a D12, please.

Speaker 25 Roll a one, roll a one.

Speaker 7 Why?

Speaker 34 Because I learned how to play DD four years ago.

Speaker 17 18.

Speaker 4 No, 16. It does not end.

Speaker 24 See, when

Speaker 29 a dick is too big, it's just useless.

Speaker 38 Useless!

Speaker 29 Trust me, you need it to be a little small.

Speaker 31 Cinderella Cinderella.

Speaker 44 Why do you keep referring to yourself, Beth?

Speaker 38 Do you have a big?

Speaker 27 In a sense.

Speaker 20 Oh yeah.

Speaker 32 Jester.

Speaker 31 What?

Speaker 15 Please make an acrobatics check to get to Fern.

Speaker 47 Fine! Without getting hurt.

Speaker 47 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 38 Acrobatics, that is 12.

Speaker 15 You start leaping up the side of this mountain covered in terrifying pieces of dangerous.

Speaker 38 I don't have to get super close. I just have to get within 30 feet.

Speaker 15 Right, which you do,

Speaker 15 but along the way,

Speaker 15 you do sustain

Speaker 15 11 points of slashing damage.

Speaker 23 Ah, spin balls.

Speaker 38 Alright, fine.

Speaker 38 But I'm still going to cast Mass Cure Wounds.

Speaker 38 Am I within 30 feet of?

Speaker 71 Who am I close to?

Speaker 38 If I can get within 30 feet of fern, can I be within 30 feet of anybody else?

Speaker 15 Here's what I'll say:

Speaker 15 Bo, roll a D20.

Speaker 30 Why me?

Speaker 24 It's funnier that way. This feels like a lot of pressure.

Speaker 30 What if I fuck this up?

Speaker 22 It's your fault then.

Speaker 24 Shut up!

Speaker 10 Oh my.

Speaker 20 I knew this would happen.

Speaker 46 It's a two, it's a two.

Speaker 15 Nobody on this side is close enough to heal.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 15 Uh,

Speaker 49 this side, however.

Speaker 15 Brog, could you roll a d20 for me?

Speaker 40 Yeah, no problem.

Speaker 20 Watch this.

Speaker 24 Eight.

Speaker 15 Fern is the only person within range.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 38 It's okay. I will totally use this fifth huge spell just for you.

Speaker 1 Can you just use like a smaller, like a cure wound situation?

Speaker 38 No, because I have to talk. Oh, wait, that's cure wounds is within 60 feet.

Speaker 24 Ha ha ha ha ha!

Speaker 49 I'll allow it. Yeah!

Speaker 28 Okay, in that case.

Speaker 15 The benefits of reading your spell.

Speaker 33 Sorry.

Speaker 25 No, it's all good.

Speaker 53 Okay.

Speaker 25 uh, okay.

Speaker 38 Oh, wait.

Speaker 47 Well, wait, hold on, because that might have.

Speaker 17 We've had the negotiation phase.

Speaker 38 Listen, it's a 30-foot radius sphere, so I think that still counts. It's 30 feet on either side of me.

Speaker 15 If you're the center of the sphere.

Speaker 38 If I'm the center of the sphere. But if I, um,

Speaker 38 yeah.

Speaker 20 Wait, but that's just 30 feet.

Speaker 15 Do you want to heal Fern and yourself?

Speaker 31 Yeah, fine, fine.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 30 All right, cool.

Speaker 38 Yeah, I will do that. Vern, I'm gonna kill you.

Speaker 17 Heal you, not kill you.

Speaker 38 I'm casting.

Speaker 38 I'm casting this at the fifth level, though.

Speaker 15 For how much?

Speaker 38 That's 3d8.

Speaker 59 Great.

Speaker 24 Come on, travel, worry, motherfucker.

Speaker 47 Don't worry.

Speaker 47 I'm always watching.

Speaker 38 19 plus 5!

Speaker 15 24 to both of you.

Speaker 15 Alright, that finishes Jester's go.

Speaker 15 As you come to consciousness, Ingester pulls you free from some of the nearby mechanical twisting blades, and you're conscious once more, Fern.

Speaker 15 Grog, you're up. Kingsley, you're on deck.

Speaker 15 Actually, do you want to do anything at the end of their turn? Are you good?

Speaker 4 I can't with the attack. No, I'm good.
You're good?

Speaker 32 Yeah, I gotta save it.

Speaker 20 Okay, Grog, you're up.

Speaker 55 With my bonus action, I smash my Titan stone knuckles together.

Speaker 25 Let's go.

Speaker 55 That's right, bitch.

Speaker 20 I'm tired of fucking around.

Speaker 55 Reckless play weapon master.

Speaker 46 Natural toilet.

Speaker 54 Brutal critical.

Speaker 59 Come on.

Speaker 31 So rough.

Speaker 25 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Speaker 12 Damn.

Speaker 56 That's 29 points of damage.

Speaker 25 Yes.

Speaker 92 27 points of down.

Speaker 33 Minus 5 20 blah blah blah blah blah 22 to hit How could you

Speaker 20 oh that hits okay

Speaker 78 22 to hit five four ten fifteen

Speaker 40 twenty six to chronic

Speaker 92 16 points to slashing damage not as much last one

Speaker 32 Come on Groggy. No crits.

Speaker 13 All right

Speaker 8 15 25 minus 5 is 20 to hit 20 just hits just hits

Speaker 15 It would have been higher, but that camera that was shattered earlier reduced his AC.

Speaker 89 15, 25,

Speaker 57 28 points of slashing damage.

Speaker 4 No, you'd never do such a thing to me.

Speaker 4 I pulled a damaged fern right in front of me.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm in it to win it. My reaction, manifest contestant, you're gonna take all of that damage.

Speaker 38 I'm out again.

Speaker 5 It's 25 hit points.

Speaker 12 I'm out.

Speaker 15 Grog, as you strike down, true, you heal the familiar shhtink of your axe sinking into flesh and bone.

Speaker 20 Oh, this has happened once before.

Speaker 72 What's this mean happening to me?

Speaker 1 I have a vague memory of this.

Speaker 25 Oh, no.

Speaker 15 As Fern falls unconscious at the edge of your axe.

Speaker 15 Grog, that's the end of your turn.

Speaker 38 Does he still take some damage? Does he still take some damage?

Speaker 25 He still took some damage. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 15 Kingsley, you're up.

Speaker 31 As this is all

Speaker 75 going down, and since I definitely have seen this trick before, I have already made my rounds just so I can get right behind you, and I'm just gonna slash to try and remove that dumb bolo off your...

Speaker 68 bloody neck. I'm cutting in from behind.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 15 Go ahead and make an attack attack roll.

Speaker 15 It is a plus five to his AC to hit it because of how direct the called shot is. Okay.

Speaker 39 Going.

Speaker 20 Oh, that's nice.

Speaker 20 That is.

Speaker 15 Left to hit a 25. 29.

Speaker 15 That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

Speaker 39 And that's 2v6, 2v8, 2v9.

Speaker 55 Yeah, I'm going to do that again.

Speaker 81 There we are.

Speaker 39 I love that I can do that. It's so amazing.

Speaker 82 Six.

Speaker 82 Ten,

Speaker 82 fifteen.

Speaker 81 That's fifteen.

Speaker 75 That's twenty-four points of damage.

Speaker 15 With a rapid, pointed flick of the wrist and a stab, the bolo snaps and the gem gets impacted by the blade

Speaker 15 and it resists the impact. like it's a fixed point in space, but you push through and as it pulls you see tethers of shadow yank and stretch until it

Speaker 15 fires off like it was shot out of a slingshot. And as it does, you hear a voice go,

Speaker 15 smoke fills the space around Malvolio and around your vision

Speaker 15 until suddenly silence fills the space.

Speaker 15 As the smoke fades and pulls away,

Speaker 15 you see there lying on the ground

Speaker 90 what what

Speaker 90 please

Speaker 30 oh please

Speaker 58 I don't know what I was doing.

Speaker 2 I'm just from a small little town outside of Byrodon

Speaker 4 It's a little place called Hebron

Speaker 4 Yeah, you might know it if you're from the mystical land of Illinois

Speaker 55 We got a We got a great big water tower there

Speaker 35 that's painted like a goat ball.

Speaker 4 It's because we won the 803 high school goat ball championship.

Speaker 4 And we just can't let it go.

Speaker 35 You locals know what I'm talking about, right?

Speaker 56 You locals know what I'm talking about, right?

Speaker 77 Oh, that feels good.

Speaker 83 And I was just walking along one day with my sweet old trusted dog who's...

Speaker 2 who's gone now.

Speaker 2 And I found jewel in the in the middle of the road and I scooped it up and I said well hey that'd be real pretty if my ma or pa turned it into a bolo tie for me

Speaker 83 when they just fashioned it right up and draped it around my neck and the next thing I knew I was thirsty for blood and vengeance

Speaker 34 I fucking hated heroes.

Speaker 4 And I heard about y'all, heard about Voxmach and I heard about 99, heard about Bill Sales.

Speaker 31 I was like, fuck them guys.

Speaker 7 Am I right?

Speaker 57 Anyway, I didn't want to do none of this, y'all.

Speaker 48 Do you think maybe

Speaker 58 you just let a sweet old Byroden boy get off the hook this one time?

Speaker 62 Is he crossing his toe net?

Speaker 4 What do y'all think?

Speaker 73 I'll leave it up to you.

Speaker 35 Well,

Speaker 29 I feel like we should not leave it up to us, but

Speaker 29 we should leave it up to our friends.

Speaker 56 Maybe.

Speaker 4 I love the way you think, mister. And you know, we say something from where I'm from.
We say smiley day to you.

Speaker 3 Thanks so much.

Speaker 48 I think you're right.

Speaker 73 Perhaps, though, as you had us do,

Speaker 53 you could

Speaker 29 demonstrate how much you want this by

Speaker 23 dancing.

Speaker 31 Oh, you son of a bitch.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I suppose I'll dance from my supper.

Speaker 10 Didn't

Speaker 10 he?

Speaker 10 Oh, God.

Speaker 10 Is it playing?

Speaker 31 No, I don't hear the music.

Speaker 20 You don't hear anything?

Speaker 20 Anybody hear it?

Speaker 44 In our ears.

Speaker 16 This feels like a defense mechanism.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Oh, there you That feels well.

Speaker 17 There you go. Hey, y'all.

Speaker 3 Did you have a good time tonight?

Speaker 24 Why don't you give it up one time for red team?

Speaker 31 Why don't you give it up one time for blue team?

Speaker 10 Why don't you give it up one time for motherfucking Grinner Baroque?

Speaker 31 Tricked y'all up out of here. Oh, shit.

Speaker 15 He's gonna go ahead and use his second legendary resistance to resist the spell.

Speaker 15 And you watch as the figure that became and was no longer Malvolio Contreras as you knew him vanish into the dark ether of night.

Speaker 20 What? What?

Speaker 66 Oh, I wonder if we will see him again someday.

Speaker 44 Probably. What just happened?

Speaker 17 We can hear him.

Speaker 20 They hear him.

Speaker 26 It was just in our ears.

Speaker 59 Did you hear him?

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 16 Why did you hear him?

Speaker 46 Yeah, they cut our mic. He turned on his mic.

Speaker 89 He is calling us fools. He's using a lot of swear words.

Speaker 31 He's laughing a lot.

Speaker 1 And then he fell for it.

Speaker 20 Is he just backstage?

Speaker 20 Come He's like, they just said.

Speaker 24 Get him.

Speaker 56 I'm done. I made my dramatic action.

Speaker 31 What I said was...

Speaker 4 They fell for it.

Speaker 56 The beautiful, beautiful fools.

Speaker 35 Let me hear it one last time.

Speaker 35 That sweet energy that fills me up.

Speaker 56 No.

Speaker 55 Let me hear the applause!

Speaker 56 Live, laugh, and die another day.

Speaker 15 As the magic fades from this pocket realm, collapsing upon itself, what enchantments kept you here begin to come unbound.

Speaker 15 One by one, you begin to draw back into the ether and are returned to where you were plucked on Xandria Press.

Speaker 15 To join your friends with the strangest story to tell.

Speaker 66 Keep it tight.

Speaker 15 But somewhere out there,

Speaker 15 a dark, pouty spirit still

Speaker 15 holds a bit of malice in his heart.

Speaker 26 Runs barefoot.

Speaker 57 And runs barefoot.

Speaker 15 But that's another story.

Speaker 15 And that will conclude our game for you.

Speaker 15 Oh, man.

Speaker 15 Thank you all so much for coming with us on this very weird wild ride. This deeply experimental

Speaker 53 strange.

Speaker 15 Bring it Robbie the fuck out of here.

Speaker 78 Little devil back out here. Get Robbie back out here.

Speaker 15 Get that Twitch TOS breaking, boy.

Speaker 38 Oh, man. Give him that hat.
He needs that hat.

Speaker 15 Come on up. Get up here.

Speaker 78 Send us out, man.

Speaker 20 You're crowned.

Speaker 15 Everyone, thank you so much for joining us for this wonderful evening. We love you very much.
And is it Thursday?

Speaker 15 Good night.

Speaker 15 Take away. Let's lose.

Speaker 25 come out and

Speaker 48 see how these copper comes.

Speaker 30 A double, a double, a double.

Speaker 30 Coco, we love you.

Speaker 18 Thanks for listening.

Speaker 79 We hope you've enjoyed this tale.

Speaker 21 If you did, consider leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice.

Speaker 18 We're always looking for new critters to share our stories with, and your review may help a new batch of wayward adventurers discover the show. See you next time.

Speaker 85 So, um, I was just parking my car, and then I saw you, the Gecko, huge fan.

Speaker 91 I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild.

Speaker 85 The honor is mine.

Speaker 61 I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app.

Speaker 91 Well, the Geico app is top-notch.

Speaker 85 I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it?

Speaker 60 Sign what?

Speaker 88 The app?

Speaker 67 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 85 Oh, that means so much. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it.
Could you sign it again?

Speaker 86 Anything to help, I suppose.

Speaker 33 You're the best.

Speaker 68 Get more than just savings, get more with Geico.

TOTAL PARTY KILL | Critical Role Chicago Live 2025 Part 2

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