2 | The Ties That Bind Us

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Listener discretion is advised. Previously on Crook County.
I got recruited into the mob when I was 17 years old. Meet Kenny, the kid tequila.
I became a trusted member. I ran whorehouses and I did hits.
An enforcer for the Chicago outfit. I wanted him to know I meant fucking business here.
So I beat him, put the gun back up to his forehead, and three of my boys come in. He lived a secret double life for over 20 years.
I had a wife and I had two children. Nobody knew anything.
I didn't want anybody to know.

I was kind of embarrassed.

And I wanted to keep them as far away from it as possible.

I wanted them to have a good life.

How do you keep an entire life of crime

away from your friends, away from your family?

It seems impossible, but I know it's true

because Kenny is my father

and I had no idea about any of this

until now.

My name is Kyle Tequila.

Welcome to Crook County. I see cause I'm living a life Lost in the waves Lost in the waves I didn't know he was in the mob until maybe 20 years after you guys were born.
He was a fucking crazy bastard. And that type of lifestyle fits him.
You cannot control this. It is the devil.
It lays in wait for you. And it will take you out at your weakest moments.
Episode 2. The Ties That Bind Us.
Family. Has there ever been a more loaded word? To some, family means unconditional love.
It means security and support. Tradition, values, acceptance, joy, and spending the holidays together.
It's the very foundation upon which you are built.

To some people, family means everything. But to many others, family is just another four-letter word filled with pain, grief, and discontent.
Family is something you need to escape from, to shun, to forget.

For my father, family meant something else entirely.

On one hand, it was his wife who loved him, his two young boys who idolized him.

It meant breaking the chain of an abusive childhood and starting over to create something new,

something pure, something good.

But on the other hand, family meant something far more sinister. His mafia family took him in when he was just 17, alone in the streets of Chicago.
It gave him a job and a support system. It took away the anxieties of running away from home with no money and filled that emptiness with purpose,

even if that purpose was criminal, even if it meant doing things you never imagined possible, never in a million years. And once you do them, it's already too late.
You're a prisoner to that family forever. So my goal was to be a good provider.
So my kids had every opportunity in the world that I didn't have. And my wife could be a wife to be a stay-at-home mom to raise the family.
And that was my goal. I didn't want anybody to know.
I was kind of embarrassed, and I wanted to keep them as far away from it as possible. I wanted them to have a good life, you know, raise their own families.
And for the most part, he succeeded. We never knew about my father's second family.
We were happy, and I always felt lucky to be a part of this family. In fact, I have almost exclusively positive memories from my first 18 years.
A loving, blue-collar, suburban middle-class home with a Ford Explorer and a convertible Mustang occupying the driveway. My dad was a firefighter paramedic, and my mom left work to raise the kids.
Both were supportive and enthusiastic parents, encouraging us to pursue our passions and follow our dreams. My younger brother Corey and I played just about every sport imaginable, so trips to play it again sports to buy and sell our gently used equipment were routine.
We didn't have all the latest toys or clothes like many of the other kids in the neighborhood, but we never really wanted for anything. Running around the neighborhood like animals, laughing, building forts, playing tag, walking for miles along the railroad tracks like the kids in Stand By Me, minus the dead body, sleepovers, paintball battles, baseball games, travel hockey, girlfriends, making out in the basement, breakups, new friends, movie nights, punk shows.
It was a good life, as good as any kid could ask for. My kids grew up happy.
That's my mom, Holly. I worked part-time.
Ken worked as a firefighter paramedic and would have a second job, you know, just to make ends meet. But it was, you know, my perfect little life.
I, you know, had a husband. I had two beautiful sons.
We finally had a beautiful home and a nice neighborhood. We eventually made good friends with our neighbors and our kids made good friends with, you know, all the kids in the neighborhood, and, you know, it was my dream coming true.
We were lucky. At least, that's how it felt back then.
But today, things couldn't be any more different, and we couldn't be any further apart. As soon as we could, my brother and I moved away from home,

me to the West Coast and my brother to the East.

My dad eventually moved away too,

leaving a trail of destruction in his wake

and leaving my poor mom with nothing but sadness,

anger, and unanswered questions.

I don't know why I deserve this.

My life ended.

We'd like to welcome everyone here to Chicago.

I'm with the Bears.

Now for your continued safety and the safety of all them folks you're going to fall on,

please remain seated with them seatbelts fast and the seat backs and trade tables.

I flew to Chicago to visit my mom.

It's been years since I've been back,

and I'm really not looking forward to the conversation I'm about to have with her.

I don't know. I flew to Chicago to visit my mom.
It's been years since I've been back, and I'm really not looking forward to the conversation I'm about to have with her.

I don't think she's looking forward to it either.

Hey.

Hey.

How are you, Mom?

How are you?

Hey, how are you?

You look good.

Thank you.

You look very cuddly.

I am.

That's a good outfit.

You are cuddly.

That's true.

Cool.

He's not allowed in here.

Oh, my God. Hi.
He's not allowed in here. You know this is a man-free zone.
Oh, okay. I'll just hang out.
Unfortunately. I'll go back to Dunkin' Donuts then.
I'm just teasing. She lives in a small house with her friend Kathy.
It's old and dated. The architecture, the furniture, like it was pulled straight from a 1970s Sears catalog.

The last time you saw him was... The one and only time other than when he was little was at your mom's 90th.

Yeah.

Oh, right.

When she said, she's who introduced me to your father.

That's right.

And the two of you went, thanks a lot.

And that's when I said, you should be kissing my ass,

because if there were not a me, there would not be a you. This is very true.
I hold no resentment towards you at all. Thank you very much.
We head up to her room so we can talk. It's full of pictures and mementos from the old days, the good days.
I mean, I have tons of pictures and things and all my videotapes are in there and in there and she pulls out a small box from under her bed oh my god this is one of my favorites i've watched because i didn't have tv uh for a long time in some of my apartments so i would watch vhs videotapes of our family.

And I love this one, and I love this one.

I love them all, but this is like my favorite.

It's like the beginning of our normal life.

We pick out an old VHS tape from our childhood and pop it in.

What has he found?

Kite!

Kite!

Look around, quarterstuff.

Here, Corey, that's yours.

It's Easter morning, 1989.

My four-year-old self is joyfully running around the house

finding candy-filled eggs and baskets

while my brother Corey, two years old at this time,

is trying to keep up.

You'll find a kite!

My dad is behind the camera, narrating.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is my son Kyle.

I want you boys to stand back and my wonderful family

stand back. Let me look at your faces.

My beautiful wife.

My two beautiful boys.

And look it. See all that candy and stuff there?

That's their first load.

We got part two coming up.

I want you to think about this.

You know what I got for Easter?

My whole life was one basket with socks and underwear in it.

That's all I ever got.

Look at my kids.

Happy Easter, you guys.

The image jumps to later in the day.

Some family has come over to celebrate, and my mom now holds the camera.

There's people everywhere. She pans around to my dad, who's standing tall in the chaos.
Here's Ken. Oh, you're out of your Easter outfit.
Where's your Easter body, Ken? He's got long hair, wearing a tight, white dress shirt with most of the buttons undone, and sporting a huge, goofy smile on his face. Ken's never in any smile.
I'm never in the picture because his eyes taken it. That's right.
So now I'm in the picture. My best side.
He's posing now, showing off his muscles, and brimming with that unique blend of sarcasm, confidence, and charm that endeared him to everyone around him. My niece is jealous.
I wish you had a man like me, right? Oh, God? He's 35 years old here, my age now. In those days, he was my hero.
And I don't just mean that figuratively. Only a few months after this home video was made, he literally saved my life.
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You guys were little. Corey was like two.
You were four going on five. Well, our neighbor was a single female who had moved into the neighborhood with this big dog in Akita, huge, probably a hundred pound dog at least.
And she had the dog for protection. She also had a cat.
And one day you and me and Corey were out in the front yard just hanging out and her cat was up in our tree. So you went next door and knocked on the door, and it was summertime, and she just had like a screen door.
The other door was open, and the dog came up to the door when you were standing there and pushed open the screen door and started chasing after you and tackled you and took you down to the ground and started biting you on your head from your head all the way down to your calves. And you were like four years old, 40 pounds, and this is like a 100-pound dog on top of you, tearing you to shreds.
I was in the front yard with you, and I made this hurtlingling scream and thank God Ken was home that day because he was usually on 24 or off 48. He heard me scream in the front yard and he came out running and by the time he came out there I'm on top of the dog trying to get him off of you.
You're bleeding everywhere and I'm trying to pull you out of the dog's mouth where Kenna's trying to pull the dog off of your body and in the meantime there's puncture wounds on your legs and on your head and on your back and Ken comes here and you know I get off and he takes the dog and he opens up the dog's mouth like really wide and broke the dog's jaw and I pulled you out of the dog's mouth. Finally, the ambulance came and they took x-rays of your head.
You had two depressed skull fractures from his teeth. It was scary.
I thought I was going to lose you. And I just say, thank God, because if Ken wasn't there, you wouldn't be here.
After several months of intensive recovery, the scare had passed and I was becoming my old self again. So we packed up our belongings and moved to the house I would forever consider my childhood home in a small, newly constructed suburb west of Chicago, from the day we moved in.
My dad is behind the camera again, while a few of his buddies from the fire department are carrying in furniture and goofing off. Be nice if you help instead of taking pictures.
I'm going to take pictures. The beer's warm.
The beer's not warm. The beer's warm.
Take pictures. Take pictures.
Then you don't bother us. The neighborhood was so new that none of the landscaping had been planted yet, so the entire yard was mud.
Look at this yard. There's a lot of people out here admiring their mud.
Our house, a little blue island in a sea of brown sludge. How about that? That something? Hey, Kyle.
Stay in the dirt, you guys. Growing up was great.
We had a great childhood. That's my brother, Corey.
Dad, he would take us to the firehouse, seeing all the fire engines and playing with all the medical supplies and the paramedic truck and everything, rubber gloves, that was the coolest thing to wear, you know, shit like that. And somebody would go on the mic, you know, and it would be an intercom throughout the whole building, and it would be like, attention.
And then, I don't know don't know, maybe Mike Eckler or something like that would just let out a big rip on the microphone and just fart throughout the whole building, and everybody would crack up. It was just fun.
She pops in another tape. It's my fifth birthday party.
There's about 20 people at some restaurant. I remember this.
The kids got to make our own pizzas. It's impossible to describe how I feel watching this video and knowing now all of the atrocious crimes my father committed in the years leading up to it.
And worse, that they were still being committed. Beatings, murders, cover-ups.
Mama, try a piece. I will.
It looks so good. And then, coming home to his happy little family and lying about everything.
Mama. of us, completely oblivious, celebrating a joyful birthday with the clear heads and hearts of a simple, average American family, when in fact, we were anything but.
Hold on, where's my to bed every night next to a man she doesn't even know, a man who has blood on his hands. The same hands that would comb through my hair the next morning

before going off to work

to possibly have them bloodied again.

We never suspected a thing.

We had no reason to.

But now, looking back,

knowing what I know,

there were, in fact, signs of a darker side.

Cracks in his veneer.

I remember being eight or nine, my dad picking me up from somewhere.

I'm walking out, and I see Dad kind of just like nonchalantly hanging out in his Ford Explorer,

kind of yelling at a guy, you know?

It looked like there was a confrontation going on, but he was super calm, super chill. As I'm walking closer and closer to the car, I see this big bald man screaming through the window.
Well, Ken, my dad, is just sitting there. And all of a sudden, he fucking just headbutts this guy.
Knocks the guy fucking flat out. And I'm like, I don't even think I brought it up to him.
Because I think I was just so stunned. Like, what the hell just happened? You know? You know, just a typical Sunday morning.
Dad fucking knocking some guy out through a window in a car with his head. And then he just drove away.
And just like nothing fucking happened. I've seen Dad twice.
The first time I was really young, but I do remember him in a fit of road rage, pulling a guy out of his car. Like, we're behind the car because he was in front of us.
Pulling the guy out of his car like we're behind the car because he you know he was in front of us pulling the guy out of his driver's side door and dragging him to like the back so now i have like a perfect view of this of the crime and just pounding a guy and then leaving him just basically knocked out or like half aware uh and then getting back in the car and then like you know doing a little swervewerve drive around and then continuing on with the day. That was the first time I remember seeing that.
And I was so young, it almost felt like a dream. But then I think it was seventh grade and I remember in like one of my English classes or something, we were doing like a project, you know, you have to like create a scene, like a shoebox scene.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And I remember it was sitting in my lap because I was up all night working on it and we're driving to school and some guy cuts Ken off and he chases this dude past the school.
Like we go on a chase. I'm screaming a hunt.
And finally we catch the guy at a red light and he goes and punches the guy several times through his driver's side window.

Then gets back in the car, does a U-turn, drops me off at school.

And you're like, what do you do?

You know?

You just, you can't, there's nothing to say.

There's nothing. There's nothing to do.

You just, like, kind of walk like a zombie through the rest of the day going, is that a real thing that just happened?

What just happened to you?

When things are going well, it's hard to believe they could ever go wrong.

And just because my father showed a few flashes of violence or said a few questionable things

doesn't mean there's something sinister or terrible lurking behind the curtain.

Besides, he was never violent with any of us.

Life is complex and emotional, and it's human nature to see the best in people. But a lie this big can't stay hidden forever.
Somehow, someway, it will turn on you and force its way out. One day I'm cooking dinner in the kitchen, and I hear a commotion in the garage, so I open up the door to the garage, and there's Ken's brother, and he said, Holly, Ken needs to go to rehab.
And I said, what? What are you talking about? And he says, Ken is addicted to heroin. And I was floored.
I mean, I just couldn't believe it. And I was so much in denial.
So that night, I took Ken to rehab, and they admitted him right away. You know, Ken went back and forth to rehab, but the heroin took over and he just kept doing it.
I kept finding paraphernalia in the house and his arms were always bruised. I would find blood splats on the ceiling.
He was so bad where he was going crazy. He would scream at me.
He would come at me. He looked like he was possessed.
He'd be rolling on the floor screaming. Like he looked like he was a possessed devil and I was scared to death.
He would come at me many times and he would push me or, and I didn't take it. I would push him back, and when I pushed him back, you know, I would either get hit or push against the wall or something.
I had to sleep in my car, or I would sleep at the bottom of the stairs, so I had an easy escape because he was so crazy trying to wean off the drug.

That's all he cared about.

He alienated his family.

He alienated his friends.

He alienated his job.

It destroyed our life.

It destroyed our marriage.

It destroyed my kids.

It destroyed friendships.

It destroyed everything. It really destroyed everything.
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The game starts here. We all have excuses when it comes to getting screened for colon cancer.
No puedes faltar el trabajo. It's embarrassing.
Da miedo. But here's the deal.
Colon cancer is 90% more treatable when caught early, and that's 100% better than doing nothing. Esa es matemática de genios.
So enough with excuses. Consider getting screened with the Cologuard test.
You can use it at home, on your schedule, and mail it back. Así de fácil.
If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask a doctor if Cologuard is right for you. Learn more at Cologuard.com forward slash prueba or 1-844-870-8870.
The Cologuard test is intended to screen adults 45 and older at average risk for colorectal cancer. Do not use a Cologuard test if you have had adenomas, have inflammatory bowel disease and certain hereditary syndromes or a personal or family history of colorectal cancer.
The Cologuard test is not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients.

Cologuard test performance in adults ages 45 through 49

is estimated based on a large clinical study of patients 50 and older.

False positives and false negatives can occur, prescriptions only.

Let's keep the conversation healthy with Cologuard,

proud supporter of My Cultura Podcast Network.

Think about the things around you right now. What you're eating, what you're wearing, even what's in your ears.
Yeah, those earbuds. Pretty much all the stuff you see can be bought using the PayPal debit card.
Okay, before you say, well, I could just use any debit card. Stop, because you should be using a debit card that earns you cash back.
Everyone knows PayPal for its secure online transactions. Well, with the PayPal debit card, you get that same security, plus you can use it everywhere and earn cash back.
You now earn 5% cash back on a monthly category of your choosing. Restaurants, apparel, groceries, health and beauty, and gas on up to $1,000 of monthly purchases.
And every month, you get to change the category. So maybe during the holidays, you spend a lot on apparel, 5% cash back.
And then other months, it's more groceries and gas, 5% cash back. And that cash back adds up to be used on something like back to school supplies or holiday gifts.
Sign up for the card when you download the new PayPal app online and get 5% cash back with the PayPal debit card. Don't just pay PayPal terms apply.
See PayPal app. This card is issued by the Bancorp bank.
And a pursuant to license by MasterCard international link. During those 10 years of addiction, I had already left home and started my own life in Atlanta, where I met my wife, Nicole.
We got married in 2009, and my wedding was the last time that the four of us were together in the same room. I did know my dad was struggling with addiction, and I knew that my mom was taking him to treatment and assisting in his recovery.
But I never knew just how bad it really was. And to be honest, during those first few years, there were so many fights and so much drama between us all, with them becoming the kids and me feeling like the parent, that I stepped away from them.
I had never felt this kind of emotional pain before, and I didn't know how to deal with it.

So I ignored it, and I hoped it would get better. I focused all my energy on building a new family with Nicole.
My brother, however, wasn't so lucky. He was still living at home, watching everything he knew crumble around him.
Unfortunately for me, I was there when all this went down. I first noticed that dad was on drugs when I was 16 years old.
I rummaged through dad's personal shit in his car to find a couple bucks. When I opened the glove box, I saw a large freezer bag.
And of course, being 16, I looked into it, seeing what the fuck it was. Smoking pot, I figured it would be like some pot or something, you know.
Take a nug out, you know, nuttile. But that wasn't the case.
When I opened the bag, there was a bunch of little tin foil squares that I had no idea what the fuck it was. But then I saw a syringe and our fucking soup spoon from our kitchen.
It was a yellow handle and a lighter. And I go, what the fuck? I mean, I'm no dummy, but I'm thinking to myself, what the fuck's going on here? Like, he's fucking, he's shooting heroin? He's cooking fucking heroin on our fucking goddamn soups bones? I was so confused and so, I just didn't know what was going on on there's one incident that I remember like it was yesterday I'm 21 at this time I need to come home for a little bit and um save up some money so I could get back out I just needed I needed I needed my family for a minute you know what I mean but I see him on the couch watching the fucking history channel of course always.
Always watching the History Channel. War, war, war.
He's eating fucking Yoplait yogurt or some shit, I don't know. And what really got me is that he was really zonked out, but the spoon, the image of him eating it with a spoon brought me back to when I first remembered seeing the fucking spoon next to a bunch of heroin and needles.
So I got I walked up to him I slapped the fucking yogurt out of his hand and I go fuck you dad you're useless that started which would be the most intense fight I've ever had with my father he stood up I pushed him he the couch. He got back up and he fucking clocked me.
I got hazy and dizzy. But me, I'm a fucking savage.
I attack him. I don't stop attacking him.
We're fucking on the floor. We're beating the shit out of each other.
Blood's flying everywhere. Fists are flying everywhere.
We end up into the kitchen where we slam into the cupboards and the cabinets, drawers. I remember ripping out a drawer and trying to fucking hit him with it.
He knocked it out of my hands. He pushed me back into the refrigerator.
And I don't know how the fight stopped. I just remember it was surreal.
Just my dad and I are actually fist fighting each other right now. Black eyes, fucking blood, cuts.
It's crazy to have, you know, someone that was so strong in my life and just such such a man a father figure I looked up to him he was everything to me so we fucking punched him in the face over drugs because he was destroying our fucking family. It's fucking horrible, man.

Did you ever recover from all that?

Do you still carry it with you?

I carry it every fucking day.

Absolutely, and I feel like that's how I've become so emotional. Just commercials, fucking movies, anything that has to do with a father and a son, it fucking destroys me.
It's just, it's so hard. I mean, I do, I do mask it very well.
And I try to forget all the time about everything, but it's, it will never go away. It fucked me up.
Absolutely fucked me up. Do you want to see him again? I, I don't know.
I mean, I love him. That's what's so fucked up.
I do. I mean, you can't take back my childhood, which was awesome in my eyes.
It was perfect. But now I don't know if I can be the bigger man.
And I don't know, even talk. I don't know.
Honestly, I just, I don't even know my reaction or my feelings that would come to me if I saw him again. I don't know.
Eventually, Corey got out and moved to Florida, where he started a new career, worked hard, and did well. And though I know the scars of those traumatic years are still raw, I'm impressed by how well he's been able to cope with them, to move on.
But mom was still there, living in this hell, until my dad either got clean or died trying. And then, in 2013, I got a disturbing phone call.
It was my dad. He was moaning, crying, barely making any sense, but I could understand enough.
He was dying and asking for my help. I immediately booked him a flight for the following morning and found a rehab facility that would admit him.
I remember getting ready the next morning because I'm driving him to the airport and he's still screaming at me and the song from Bohemian Rhapsody comes on. Mama, just killed a man.

And he goes, perfect song. Puts his fingers to my head like it's a gun.
And he goes, you know what, Holly? I've killed men. I've killed many men.
I could kill you too. That was pretty much the last time I saw him.

When I picked him up from the airport, I barely recognized him.

He was skinny, disheveled, with dead eyes, and he barely spoke a word.

I was stunned.

I felt like throwing up.

I drove him straight to rehab and dropped him off.

On my way home, I pulled the car over,

and I cried for the first time in a very long time.

I'm still trying to understand to this day why this happened,

why he forfeited a great life and relationship with his children. I mean, my God, I don't care about me,

but how can you not have a relationship with your kids? And a grandson. I mean, my God.
That's what life is about. At least in my world, that's what life is about.
I have this old memory of my dad dropping me off my first day at college. He looked at me in a very strange way and said, When you're old enough, I'll tell you everything.
No more secrets. No more lies.
It's time I learn the truth. Next week on Crook County.
Listen, there are girls in and out of there for years and years and years and years and years. Alright? Go in there, crack a deal with the client, go to work, get out quick, and wait for the next guy.
These girls were pure, pure business, and they made a ton of fucking money. I'm going comatose and everybody knows Crook County is a production of iHeart Podcasts and Tenderfoot TV in association with Common Enemy.
All episodes are written, produced, and hosted by me, Kyle Tequila.

Executive producers are Donald Albright

and Payne Lindsey.

Original score by Makeup and Vanity Set.

Main title song is called Crush

by the band Starry Eyes.

End credit song is called No Show,

also by the band Starry Eyes.

Sound mix by Cooper Skinner.

Thank you to Oren Rosenbaum

and the excellent team at UTA for their support, and to my fearless attorney, Wendy Bench, for her guidance. To stay updated on all things Crook County, follow us on all socials at CrookCountyPodcast, or leave us a voicemail by visiting crookcountypodcast.com.
For more podcasts like Crook County, search Tenderfoot TV on your favorite podcast app or visit tenderfoot.tv.

Thanks for listening. The story continues next week.
I'm a messenger.

I'm setting fire.

I will watch you choke.

And I will watch you choke. Now what you show Now what you show Oh THE END The End Thank you.
Thank you for tuning in to Crook County. New episodes are released weekly, completely free.
But if you're itching for more, check out Tenderfoot Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit tenderfootplus.com to subscribe for early access to the full series. Plus, an ad-free experience.
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