#484 - Juicy Forearms, DBW and Zone 3 in the Bedroom

Speaker 1 This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK.

Speaker 2 At the BBC, we go further so you see clearer.

Speaker 1 With a subscription to bbc.com, you get unlimited articles and videos, ad-free podcasts, the BBC News Channel streaming live 24/7, plus hundreds of acclaimed documentaries.

Speaker 1 From less than a dollar a week for your first year, read, watch, and listen to trusted independent journalism and storytelling. It all starts with a subscription to bbc.com.

Speaker 1 Find out more at bbc.com slash unlimited.

Speaker 2 Your global campaign just launched. But wait, the logo's cropped.

Speaker 4 The colors are off, and did legal clear that image? When teams create without guardrails, mistakes slip through, but not with Adobe Express, the quick and easy app to create on-brand content.

Speaker 4 Brand kits and lock templates make following design guidelines a no-brainer for HR sales and marketing teams.

Speaker 4 And commercially safe AI powered by Firefly lets them create confidently so your brand always shows up polished, protected, and consistent everywhere. Learn more at adobe.com slash go slash express.

Speaker 2 Hello everyone and welcome to the Ellis James and John Robbins Show. and I'm shocked to say having known him for 20 years

Speaker 2 that Ellis is a tech bro

Speaker 2 because before we started he just tapped his digital watch eight or nine times pressed a few buttons obviously holding putting calls on hold from Milan Tokyo LA stocks and shares stocks and shares monitoring various biometric indicators yeah

Speaker 2 what's it like being a tech bro you're in heavily invested in the Magnificent 7, aren't you? Yes, I was texting Evie, our babysitter, via a watch. On my watch.

Speaker 2 Wow. 2025 for you.
Quick thumbs up to her last message, which was

Speaker 2 a video of me getting the fourth cum reconnection at the palladium on Tuesday because I thought Evie needs to see this. And that's a video that's on your watch.
It's all on the watch these days.

Speaker 2 I was also checking my blood oxygen rate, my heart rate, my heart rate variability, and how much sleep I'd had last year. Last year, last night, 59 minutes of deep.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's good to know. How do you write a text on a watch? Is it like the

Speaker 2 menu on Netflix where you have to scroll through each individual letter? That's cumbersome. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, although it does offer you things like, that's great.

Speaker 2 Nice one. Which you're saying a lot to a lot of your key stockbrokers.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm heavily investing in crypto now.
Are you? Which ones? All of them. Are you?

Speaker 2 I'm spreading my bets. Yeah.
If you've got crypto, I'll invest in it. Don't you worry.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Izzy, it's a secret, though, Izzy doesn't know. Oh, God.

Speaker 2 Keep it from her. Yes, rightly so.
She thinks I'm putting in her pension because she's an old fuddy daddy. Oh, yeah, because

Speaker 2 she doesn't understand risk or reward. Absolutely not.

Speaker 2 I'm not great with all the tech stuff, but

Speaker 2 I want to be because I think it's important to keep up with modern trends. So last night, I wore my running watch to bed,

Speaker 2 and it meant that.

Speaker 2 What were you doing?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 we're getting into zone three with Hannah.

Speaker 2 Because, Dave, a lot of the great long-distance lovemakers tend to stay in zone two. Yeah, Dave, but but please don't look at your watch during the act.

Speaker 2 That's bad for the audience. That's great.
Too slow.

Speaker 2 Too slow.

Speaker 2 No, but seriously, this is good advice for a lot of potentially broad strokes, a lot of male listeners. There's nothing wrong with staying in zone one and two for a little longer.
It is so true, John.

Speaker 2 It is so true. Did you read that in one of your dirty magazines? Karma Sutra.
There's nothing dirty about pleasure, Ellis. No, there's not actually.
There is. Loads.

Speaker 2 All of it is bad and dirty. There's nothing dirty about communication.
Yes, there is. Because

Speaker 2 a lot of people tend to go off too fast in a park run, for example, and they find themselves all done after a kilometre.

Speaker 2 Whereas actually, you know, there's 4K of enjoyment left. John,

Speaker 2 if you want to talk like this, get on channel 4, okay?

Speaker 2 But this is the BBC, all right? We don't discuss that kind of thing on the BBC and old Auntie.

Speaker 2 Dave, what was your watch telling you about your bedtime regime? Well, it said I had a terrible night's sleep.

Speaker 2 The reason being, I kept waking up excited that I was wearing the watch that was analysing how I was sleeping.

Speaker 2 That's very sweet, actually.

Speaker 2 So I woke up like for, I mean, I usually wake up once in the night for Dave's big wee. Yeah, yeah.
The DBW at about half two.

Speaker 2 But this meant that I woke up every hour because I was so aware of the watch and I was anticipating what the watch would say in the morning, which was counterproductive because then it woke up saying,

Speaker 2 you've had a terrible night's sleep. Well, this is why trying to improve your sleep hygiene with tech is

Speaker 2 dim-witted, thick, and absolutely self-defeating. I know when my son woke me up, he came in at four in the morning and he said, Things are annoying me.
And I said, Who's that?

Speaker 2 He went, It's me, Stefan. And he just gone to bed.
So I'm

Speaker 2 so I can tell exactly when that was because I was wearing my watch in bed because I like you on the tech broad.

Speaker 2 But I'm not a tech, but I'm going to give it another go because I'm thinking now I'm used to it. Oh, yeah,

Speaker 2 it's beginning to die down. Oh, completely, it's gone.
I'm

Speaker 2 It can be demoralizing, though, because when I was on the sleeper, the Caledonian sleeper on the way back from the Edinburgh show, the stats in the morning, having not slept at all, were excited.

Speaker 2 What do they say?

Speaker 2 Goodness. Zero minutes coarse sleep.
Zero minutes deep sleep. No, no.

Speaker 2 I don't want any of that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I will give it another go. But then I've got a new running watch, and I didn't realise that you can turn your notifications off.
So I'm there running.

Speaker 2 And that is pinging off with my emails and stuff. Yeah.
And this is why I've always tried to avoid things being in my,

Speaker 2 I just like a watch, John. It's just anxiety we don't need.
I don't think we need it. So much tech is just here's some more anxiety.
It's the 20th century, John. For God's sake.

Speaker 2 There's five minutes of your day that wasn't full to the brim with anxiety. Yeah.
You can fill that five minutes with GloboWatch. Yes, John, and be a success.

Speaker 2 Well, I do think I'm so blimming successful.

Speaker 2 Sell, sell, sell. Sell, sell, bye-bye.
Yeah. Leave it, leave it, leave it.
That's great.

Speaker 2 Anyway, call your GP in a week, maybe.

Speaker 2 And it might be telling you that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I had a roller coaster of emotions on the way to the studio today. Did you, Dave? Yeah, for the first time.
And I would say,

Speaker 2 is it the first time in forever? Definitely 15 to 20 years I got chatted up on the way to the studio. Oh,

Speaker 2 did you? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Tell me

Speaker 2 everything.

Speaker 2 So I was walking down the street.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'm naked as the day you were born.

Speaker 2 And I had my headphones in. Yeah.
Listening to a podcast. So you're giving I'm free and single vibes.
And your t-shirt says, my eyes are up here

Speaker 2 with an arrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you're on the way to a traffic lights party in your green head tour.

Speaker 2 So I'm listening to the podcast to a podcast. And as I'm walking, then I feel like there's the...

Speaker 2 Hand on your buttock? No, no. About 10 meters ahead, there's a girl walking towards me and she's glancing at me a little bit more.
What time of the morning is this? This is about

Speaker 2 half nine this morning. Oh, okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then she starts talking, but

Speaker 2 I've got Alistair and Rory in my ears. Of course.
And he's doing a quick explainer. He's doing a quick explainer.
So I whip out Alistair and Rory. Yeah.
Excuse me, sorry. I'm sorry.
What?

Speaker 2 And she says, can I have your...

Speaker 2 I don't think she was,

Speaker 2 she had a foreign accent. I'm not sure where.
Okay. So I didn't quite understand her at first, but then she says, can I have your number?

Speaker 2 Out of nowhere. Straight out of nowhere.
Out of the box. Out of nowhere.
That's why the Europeans do it. I wouldn't have the courage to do that.
No.

Speaker 2 If you left me alone with someone for a billion years, I wouldn't get to asking for their number. I wouldn't either.
So then I said, sorry, excuse me, what was that?

Speaker 2 And she said, can I have your number, please? And then before I had responded, obviously I was going to say no, just for the record. Your number just fell out of your pocket on a pre-printed card.

Speaker 2 And then she went, oh, never mind. And then walked off.
So there's this weird kind of, I was flattered for a second. Yeah.
Then I was a bit confused. And then I thought, this is some sort of prank.

Speaker 2 She's got some student friends. Because she was maybe a little bit young, maybe kind of mid-20s as well.

Speaker 2 When I got pranked by some students, I was walking down Park Place in Cardiff, and an Irish female hockey team all started laughing. And then one of them rugby tackled me into a hedge.

Speaker 2 That is how, that's what a student prank is doing. Right.
Well,

Speaker 2 hello, you handsome devil. Crave your number?

Speaker 2 Sorry, and then running away. But you think that you're worried someone's filming it for TikTok?

Speaker 2 So me, so it kind of went a very weird set of emotions where initially I thought, I've still got it, this is great. And then I thought, she's got it close and she's had second thoughts.

Speaker 2 That was a very quick retort. That was a very quick retraction from wanting my number to never mind and walking off.
She didn't even give me a chance to

Speaker 2 if I was single.

Speaker 2 She didn't even give me a chance if I was going to respond.

Speaker 2 It was, of course, going to be a no, Hannah, obviously yeah but then she walks up and said never mind and then i thought okay this is some sort of prank and then i felt my bag open

Speaker 2 and i thought what's happened here distraction theft distraction theft

Speaker 2 and i thought you are kidding me so i pulled over like kind of water on the corner and took it off and had a little look that people try to rob you

Speaker 2 and it looked like everything was in the bag and i put the bag back on came to the studio and you know that we talked about the bag a couple of nights a couple of the podcasts ago.

Speaker 2 It's a bag that costs eight grand. So it's quite an expensive designer bag that I've backed up for the past few episodes.
That you keep your laptop in. That I keep my big laptop in.

Speaker 2 Separated from the world by an ordinary zip.

Speaker 2 Well, the zip comes into play here. So I look through the bag, and I don't think anything's been taken, but I'm still a bit concerned.
Zip the bag back up, zips to the top of the bag.

Speaker 2 I come to the studio. Tear the bag off again.
The blooming bag's open again. Oh, David.

Speaker 2 Turns out if you zip up this very expensive designer bag just to the very top in in the centre, what will happen is, which is useful, the zips will just fall down either side. Okay.

Speaker 2 So then the bag just ends up becoming flappy. Right.
So the bag is a... You can use a padlock like in a posh Christmas cracker.

Speaker 2 You just need to put both zips, because it's a double zipper one, so you just need to put both zips down to one side of the bag. I'm guessing they're still not particularly secure.

Speaker 2 No, but you're not going to get it flapping open because it's already... No, but someone could quite easily just unzip it and take your laptop out, which you keep in the back of the bag.

Speaker 2 Oh, massively, yeah. But I suppose you could say that about most zipped bags.
No, most bags now, commuter bags, feature some security element, Dave. But mine looks cool.

Speaker 2 It's a cool bag. It's a baffling.
Baffling.

Speaker 2 But nothing was stolen. Nothing was stolen.

Speaker 2 I still think that was a prank from the lady who I was.

Speaker 2 I think it was distraction theft. I do.
Yeah. I do.
But I'm not sure why, because it doesn't seem like anything's happened since. But

Speaker 2 the larger conclusion here is also that I've got a bag that isn't really.

Speaker 2 You're a handsome man with a bad bag. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'd love to be in that position. Yeah.

Speaker 2 but maybe she fancied you until she saw what an unsecure bag you had and thought i can't spend a lifetime with this guy can't live with him you leave his front door open he's not the one no but i'm going to convince myself that actually she just thought here's an attractive man walking down the streets i'm going to ask for his number do you know where i keep my laptop dave in this bag oh It's in a secret inner sector.

Speaker 2 Why don't you show everyone? Dave, which is padded and you can't get to while I'm wearing it. Yeah.
Because I'm conscientious. So maybe

Speaker 2 the bag makes you look like Harold Bishop.

Speaker 2 No, it does maybe look like a twerp. But I don't care what I look like because I know the laptop is safe.
And that's why you're attractive.

Speaker 2 And that means you don't get chatted up in the orthodox sense. And I've got inner-zipped pockets, Dave.

Speaker 2 For keeping all my various forms of nicotine in. Cool.
Yeah, it is cool.

Speaker 2 You get them. You vape.

Speaker 2 But my bag is probably worn by David Gandhi because he's cool and sexy. Yeah, but David Gandhi has people in armoured vehicles to carry around his laptop and keys and phone and stuff.

Speaker 2 At what point of your life are you going to get back on like a pipe or a cigarette or the cigarettes?

Speaker 2 Don't encourage you.

Speaker 2 What are you doing? Last two years.

Speaker 2 It varies from 50, then 60, then 70, and then I think probably 70. But I think about that every day.

Speaker 2 So thanks.

Speaker 2 But you'll look so mad at 70, not because of you, because no one else will be smoking around you. Because no one will be smoking in 30 years' time.
No, it's true.

Speaker 2 So you'll look a bit of a twerp with a cool bag, though. With a

Speaker 2 safe bag. A twerp with a safe bag.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Smoking tobacco that's been outlawed for two decades. That's another one for the dating profile.
Twerp with a safe bag.

Speaker 2 Who doesn't care what he looks like, who fantasises about when he's going to start smoking again? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So good. Good stuff.
So here we are. Here we are.
All the lads all together.

Speaker 2 And I think it's about time for Ellis to do what he does better than anyone else. What he has.

Speaker 2 A boundary he has pushed further than any other human.

Speaker 2 Further, I would argue, than Neil Armstrong pushed space travel. There's a very funny bit.
Because he was amongst others.

Speaker 2 Yes, there was a very funny bit at the palladium when I was going for my fourth connection in 53 seconds when I sat at the front of the stage with my head in my hands, which meant that the circle and upper circle couldn't see me.

Speaker 2 So John tells me to get back in my seat. And as I shuffle back to my seat, John goes, ever the craftsman.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I take stagecraft very seriously.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you've absolutely.

Speaker 2 We should just say that on the tour, Ellis did a live Cymru connection under a different name and was able on the final night of the tour to connect four times in one minute. It was big.

Speaker 2 With me in the audience on the roving mic. It was huge.
It was tremendous.

Speaker 2 After Apollo, I needed to get to the Sun Lounger, but when we got to the stunt Sun Lounger with Scott, we had so much in common. It was very funny.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So can Ellis continue to break new ground in a feature that our Welsh hero continues continues to define? It's time to find out. It's time for the Cymru connection.

Speaker 2 Where did you go to school?

Speaker 2 Do you know Daffy Levins? No.

Speaker 2 Come on, mate, you must do.

Speaker 2 And then often he will just list a name or three. Ignoring John's imploring, think like us to

Speaker 2 listeners all are hoping if he can elevate his strategy to nifty,

Speaker 2 he'll achieve the magic fifty.

Speaker 2 Now then, everyone, there's an email that's come come in that there's been a great deal of discussion about whether to read out. Okay.

Speaker 2 Because I

Speaker 2 commend our listener for sending it in. I commend our listener's dedication.
Yeah. Their thinking, however, is rotten.
Woolly.

Speaker 2 It is rotten. Well, you've got a very analytical mind.

Speaker 2 Yes. And what I think this listener has done

Speaker 2 is maybe send an email that she thought just might put a bit of a pep in

Speaker 2 Ellis's Ellis's step. Has she made an ass out of you and me by assuming various things? There's no asses that are being made.

Speaker 2 There's an awful lot of assumptions being made.

Speaker 2 There's some wild guesswork in terms of the percentages that we're at and whatever maybe it should be. Carol Vorderman would have a problem with this email.
Absolutely. Okay.
She's Welsh.

Speaker 2 But I think there is merit here and I think

Speaker 2 there is good use for reading it out, which might just help you out. We should get Vordeman on to analyse it.
We should. We should.
Should we do it? Go on.

Speaker 2 Alright. Hello, chaps.
From the beginning of the Cymru connection, I was amazed at the knowledge Ellis had, seemingly knowing every school in Wales.

Speaker 2 As the weeks went by and his success rate lowered, people, John, started to question his ability as a connector. I'm a maths teacher, so I thought I'd put my years of training to good use.

Speaker 2 Remember that sentence?

Speaker 2 Is all I will say? Well, I already like.

Speaker 2 I do. Also, this isn't a criticism because it would be insane if you did.
You don't know every school, because sometimes people say a school and you go, oh, where's that? Yeah, yeah. It's not bad.

Speaker 2 I know a lot of Welsh schools. Yeah, but not so many that there's any kind of investigation.
No.

Speaker 2 No. There's no concern.
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no.

Speaker 2 And thanks. Yeah.
Oh, God. For nipping that in the bud.
Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm a teacher.

Speaker 2 So I thought I'd put my years of training to good use and do the requisite research. Okay, remember that.
Remember that line.

Speaker 2 I casually get them. So when the man from Portsmouth said he'd gone to St.
John Lloyd in Schlechley when my mother was a careers officer, I mixed up. I thought he meant St.

Speaker 2 Michael's, which is the private school. So occasionally.
Occasionally.

Speaker 2 To work out just how impressive these stats of Alice's are. The average person has around 600 acquaintances.
Nope.

Speaker 2 Not me. But I don't mind that.
If that's an average, that might exist somewhere.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think so. I'd be curious to know which if you got that.
I have eight friends, 16 acquaintances. And each of their acquaintances knows 600 people.

Speaker 2 If you go by the thoughts of them having 600 in the first place. If there were no overlap between people you knew and people your acquaintances know, then you would have 360,000 friends of friends.

Speaker 2 Obviously ridiculous. If all your acquaintances knew each other, then you would only have 600 friends of friends.
Also ridiculous.

Speaker 2 This is where the assumption can vary according to how much your friendship group/slash work colleagues, etc., overlap.

Speaker 2 But using the numbers from a study, I will assume 30,000 friends of friends for the average person.

Speaker 2 Huge red flag there.

Speaker 2 Why? So when this number that

Speaker 2 is being submitted to the journal for academic review,

Speaker 2 I'm going, right, you've given me two figures there. Yeah.
And you've said they're both ridiculous. So what you've done is just invented a third figure based on no facts whatsoever.

Speaker 2 She's a listener, John. I know, but I'm just pulling apart her reasoning.
It doesn't mean I don't like her. No, no, no.
Doesn't mean I don't value her. I think she's also...

Speaker 2 Is that how you are on dates?

Speaker 2 Just pulling apart what you said. I don't like it.

Speaker 2 That is what I'm like. I'd like you to go further, yeah.

Speaker 2 I appreciate the email because I think what she's done here is tried to give you a bit of confidence. Oh, I appreciate the email.
And she admits there's a couple of broad strokes talking about.

Speaker 2 I don't like this number, it feels too high. I don't like this number, it feels too low.
So here's a third number. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Well, that's how all the great mathematicians work, isn't it? Yes. And educated guesses.
We get on to a bit of further research here. Do we?

Speaker 2 Given the population of Wales is around 3.2 million. Yeah.
Accurate. Yes.
Great. There we go.
Yep. Bang on.

Speaker 2 That suggests the average person would have a connection with around 0.9% of the country. If we're assuming my invented figure is of any relevance.
The invented figure is

Speaker 2 30,000. And 3.2 mil would take into account newborn babies and stuff.
Yeah, I suppose. The very, very elderly.
Who I've got a better chance with the newborn babies. Yes, true, of course.

Speaker 2 That's before you add in the 60-second rule to actually find the connection. Which has always been my problem with it.
It's not a problem, it's a format point which makes the feature work.

Speaker 2 Yes, but it's a format point that makes me look worse at connecting than I am in the wild. But it makes it good.
Dave,

Speaker 2 at stage door in Swansea and Cardiff, I'm sorry, I did not. It was insane, Dave.
But I'm not under such a time pressure. So Ellis's 48% success rate is incredible.
Yes. But let's dig deeper.

Speaker 2 With our vague spade.

Speaker 2 Which I'm just assuming is a spade.

Speaker 2 Of course, Ellis is not connecting with any random Welsh person, but a listener to the podcast.

Speaker 2 It's quite hard to figure out how many listeners you have, so Dave will have to tell me if I'm way off with an estimation of around 2 million after doing some research on podcast listening figures.

Speaker 2 It's a little off. It's not that

Speaker 2 if we assume listeners are spread proportionally across the UK, then we can suppose that the number of Welsh listeners to this podcast is around 90,000 people.

Speaker 2 That is a mad assumption.

Speaker 2 Then why would you say that? Because that's saying that our listeners are as likely to be in

Speaker 2 the peak district as they are in central London. Yeah, broad strokes, but there's a logic there.

Speaker 2 No? Yes. There's not.
There is, too, isn't it? It's a logic that assumes there are as many listeners on Dartmoor as there are in Greater Manchester. Yes.

Speaker 2 But also, there's similar places. There's a conversation.

Speaker 2 There's also, that's a similar, I'd say, terrain and population sector as Wales, which will have quieter bits than busier bits. But that's not what this is assuming.
No.

Speaker 2 If we assume this is our spread proportion across the UK, then 90,000 Welsh listeners is where our listener ends up. Out of curiosity, would you be able to find that fact out?

Speaker 2 Because you can on certain podcasts. Yes, we probably could.
Okay.

Speaker 2 But also, it's assuming that Welsh listeners all live in Wales. Yes.
Because the population of Wales is different from the size of the Welsh diaspora. Yes.

Speaker 2 And quite a lot of our Cymru connectors aren't calling from Wales. With this research in play,

Speaker 2 then we would expect the connection rate to be around 22%.

Speaker 2 Of course, there are many assumptions here. Okay, now we get onto terra firma.

Speaker 2 But given that the calculation above assumes all of the friends of friends are in the 90,000 listeners, which will not be correct,

Speaker 2 the percentage would then fall further. True.

Speaker 2 So what I'm saying is Ellis is a connection wizard and stats of 48% prove it, as your average Welsh listener would have a connection less than 22% of the time, let alone finding the connection in under a minute.

Speaker 2 This is not to say that Ellis couldn't sometimes ask better questions. but I'd accept that.
I'd accept that. But contrary to some opinions, his success rate is blummin' remarkable.
Who's that from?

Speaker 2 I don't know if I want to give the name now because it feels like we've

Speaker 2 been quite. I think it's okay to give the name.
Yeah, well, Anna. I think it's a wonderful email.
Your wife. No, Anna.
Oh, Anna. Anna, you have value.
Absolutely. You matter.

Speaker 2 No one else has tried to figure it out. That's a significant email, Anna.
But Annie, you have not applied the rigor that I think you would expect of your students to your own working.

Speaker 2 So many assumptions

Speaker 2 do mean that the figures are pretty meaningless. I appreciate the attempt.

Speaker 2 Also, our listeners will be of a certain demographic, which is much closer to Ellis. Yes.
Because if you've ever seen Welsh listeners at our gigs, they're all Ellis. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Or Ellis's partner, which is also Ellis.

Speaker 2 So his likelihood of having a connection.

Speaker 2 Oh, there's a self-selection, obviously. Do what I like about Anna.
Do you want to to like so much about Anna? She's a maths teacher with a drama teacher's vibe. Yes, that's very true.

Speaker 2 And I really like that

Speaker 2 because I had maths teachers at school who had maths teacher vibes.

Speaker 2 I think I would have thrived in Anna's class. Anna, if you want to dig a little deeper, the ONS has good statistics.

Speaker 2 Dave can provide you with as many figures as the BBC will allow him. It's not as many as you'd think.
It's not as many as you think, because as we all know, listener figures equals leverage.

Speaker 2 And that's one thing the BBC doesn't like. It will not give us anywhere near.

Speaker 2 So, but yeah, it's a great starting point. Yeah, absolutely.
So anyone listening out there, any stats heads, want to try and give us the best guess, because it's all a guess,

Speaker 2 as to Ellis's... likely percentage, how impressive the percentage is.
Well, some TV channels

Speaker 2 don't give you figures, but they give you an imagined viewer. Linda from Leeds.
No, they all give you figures. Yeah, but you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 They're like, yeah, but you don't be thinking about the figures. Well, our imagined listener is Ellis from Wales.

Speaker 2 He's a great guy. Yeah.
I think it's pretty safe to say knocking on the door of 50% for this type of feature to connect with a stranger is decent.

Speaker 2 I'd be amazed if any figures came back suggesting it should be higher. Well,

Speaker 2 I'm interested in what the studs heads have got to say about it. So, on to this week's caller.

Speaker 2 As records continue to fall, there's now only one question that many don't dream to utter. Can Ellis achieve the perfect over?

Speaker 2 The double hat-trick? The triple brace? The super six?

Speaker 2 So, five connections in a row, Your Honor Ellis. We are in uncharted territory.
I'm Kapil Dev. You're Kapil Dev.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 there's a caller on the line. Your time's about to start.

Speaker 2 Go. Agent School

Speaker 5 63 Schlanishen High School.

Speaker 2 Schlanishen in Cardiff. Okay, what do you do for a living?

Speaker 5 An insurance broker. Insurance broken.

Speaker 2 Okay, if you went to university, where did you go?

Speaker 5 I didn't go, to my regret.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's fine. And where do you live?

Speaker 5 In Cardiff, in the Diff.

Speaker 2 Where? Pardon?

Speaker 5 In the Diff.

Speaker 2 In the Diff. Okay, 63 years of age.
Do you like rugby or football?

Speaker 5 Football?

Speaker 2 Okay, you're kind of city fan?

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 2 Do you know my friend Phil Stead?

Speaker 2 Younger than you?

Speaker 5 No. No.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's fine. Do you know Johnny Owen, the filmmaker? No.

Speaker 2 Insurance. Did you work for Adam Insurance down in town?

Speaker 5 No. Thomas Carroll, in Cafilly.

Speaker 2 Oh, in Cafilly, okay, that's fine. And

Speaker 2 um...

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Sorry, I thought I'd run out of time then.
I am.

Speaker 2 That's 15 seconds of pure inaction there.

Speaker 2 Because I can't speak and think at the same time, John, and you've always known that.

Speaker 2 Alice can't actually, and this is not a criticism, it is

Speaker 2 do any two things at once.

Speaker 2 That's not a criticism. I'll tell you what I can do.
I can knock you out and apologise after. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I certainly couldn't do it at the same time.

Speaker 2 63.

Speaker 2 What pubs do you drink in Color?

Speaker 5 The Heathcock used to be the butchers.

Speaker 2 Yes, know the I know the heathcock

Speaker 2 Okay, do you live in the heath?

Speaker 5 I live in Landauf

Speaker 5 Landauff, okay.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 do you ever drink in the Moltsters

Speaker 2 not really it's it's basically restaurant these days it's a bit what it's basically a restaurant

Speaker 2 Yes, there's a lot of rugby players used to drink there Especially the 70s rugby players. We've now entered the Sun Lounger.
Obviously you can help at this juncture.

Speaker 2 Are you aware of any potential connections?

Speaker 5 Not really. I haven't really thought about it.
I haven't

Speaker 5 wanted to sort of give you any clues. But if you want to talk other sports,

Speaker 5 talk cricket.

Speaker 2 Ah.

Speaker 2 Do you know

Speaker 2 Gareth Geffer who works for Glamorgan, do you?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's fine. What says? Do you know Pauli, the

Speaker 2 cricket coach, the combatting coach at Glamorgan?

Speaker 5 I do.

Speaker 5 Wow. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 That's incredible.

Speaker 5 I used to work with him at Thomas Carroll.

Speaker 5 Did you?

Speaker 5 He had a few years in financial services, then decided it wasn't for him.

Speaker 2 He's now, I think he teaches in a

Speaker 2 coaches cricket in a private school now, I think. Because yeah, Dean Close is in Cheltenham.

Speaker 2 That's it, but he's still obviously involved in

Speaker 2 what school in Cheltenham?

Speaker 5 Dean Close.

Speaker 2 I think I might have a connection with you. Really? Through a teacher at that school.
Mike Powell. He played for England A.

Speaker 5 That's right.

Speaker 2 That's it. So he worked in insurance.
I didn't know that.

Speaker 5 He did for a few years.

Speaker 5 After he finished playing,

Speaker 5 didn't work out for him. I thought he'd be a big success.
But

Speaker 5 he's gone back into the cricket world and he does punditry,

Speaker 5 Radio Wales.

Speaker 2 BBC Wales. He's a lovely bloke.

Speaker 2 He's extremely handsome in the flesh. Really? Yeah, yeah.
And he's got lovely, juicy forearms. That's nice.

Speaker 2 Which you'd expect from a batter. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This... Sorry, what's your name, Cola? Phil.
Phil.

Speaker 2 I got there in the end. You did? That, even though you won't get the point.
I won't get the point. It felt satisfied.
That feels like a kind of strange moral victory.

Speaker 2 Especially as Phil wasn't even aware of any connections. That's nice.
Are you a regular down at Safari Gardens, Phil?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I am. Yeah, yeah.
Not work any longer, but I spend quite a lot of time there, and I'm also still active in my club.

Speaker 2 Oh, lovely winter. Oh, that's nice.
Which clubs you play for?

Speaker 5 Some Fragons.

Speaker 2 Oh, fantastic.

Speaker 2 Phil,

Speaker 2 I feel like I've lost a championship club that's lost an FA Cup semi-final. Yeah.

Speaker 2 In that

Speaker 2 I'm going to get all the headlines, even though it wasn't technically a success. And bizarrely, you're a championship club that always lose against people over 50.

Speaker 2 I'm so glad you know Paoli. We got there in the end.
Phil,

Speaker 2 thank you very much for your call. Thank you for your call, Phil.

Speaker 5 Thank you. Well done.
Love the show.

Speaker 2 Cheers, Vince.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Thank you for that.
Now, Ellis, I'm sick of this. You've got to start putting in a bit of training.
You've got to start thinking, what are your connections with people over 50?

Speaker 2 You've got to start thinking, where am I going other than football, rugby, Mike Bubbins, and Steph Guerrero? I didn't mention Steph Guerrero. No, I know, but come on.
I mentioned Admiral Insurance.

Speaker 2 You did, which is an enormous employment. It is an enormous employment.
And I know 15 people have worked for Admiral over the years. You don't dare tell me that I've got problems.

Speaker 2 That's the first time you've ever mentioned Admiral Insurance. Because it hasn't cropped up, because I'm an instinctive connector.
You instinctually go down the same four deadline.

Speaker 2 It's the way the ball bounces, John. Well, let's think about what if it's not a ball.
I'm bad at, I'm, I can't play against off-spin, okay? And that's off-spin.

Speaker 2 Just think.

Speaker 2 He's not bad, John. But he doesn't put, I bet he doesn't practice at home.
You heard the research. He's well above the percentage average of what he should be getting.

Speaker 2 If we make 10 assumptions, he's doing very well. Every day I'm practicing.
Are you? That's what my life is. Yes.
Yeah, that's true. No, but you're not practicing under 60 second formats.

Speaker 2 So you could easily.

Speaker 2 I know you will never be me. And thank God that's the case.

Speaker 2 Thank God. Thank God.
Let's both shake hands on that. Yeah.
I would go home and I would write down the name of every Welsh person I knew over 50. I would then write down where I knew them from.

Speaker 2 I would have the names of businesses. I would have areas.
I would have,

Speaker 2 you know, links to my mum, links to my dad, links to quantity surveying, universities. He'd have a pin board in his lounge.

Speaker 2 It would be looking insane. It would look insane.

Speaker 2 I've got a full life. I'd be doing it 75% of the time.

Speaker 2 I have a full life.

Speaker 2 Mike Powell Powley. We got there in the end.
It was really nice. I didn't see it coming.
It was a connection with Juicy Forearms. But we've never had Juicy Forearms before, have we? I don't think.

Speaker 2 I've never mentioned Mike Powell before. No.
So that's incredible.

Speaker 2 You've still got brand new connections, which is pretty cool. Okay, if this is an assumption.
This is a guess. I've got a billion connections.

Speaker 2 Just one in eight people globally.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, let's park that for now. I would like to see you do something in the week.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I would like, ideally. It's like my mum and dad during my A-levels.
A list of people over 50 you know in Wales. And you could take a photo of it and send it in to me and Dave.

Speaker 2 I could have it on the wall. You can have it on the wall.
I don't mind you. You're bringing notes.
You're lying out loud. I will do.

Speaker 2 You could have so much material at your hands. The toolkits you could have available to you is you should have

Speaker 2 paper everywhere. What do you want? Do you want Ronaldo or do you want Maradona? Because I am Maradona.
I want a trophy. I don't care who scores the goal.

Speaker 2 Mr. Cogglou.

Speaker 2 What? Am I getting sacked?

Speaker 2 Again.

Speaker 2 No, he got the trophy in the end, but it wasn't pretty. I'm Maradona.
I'm overweight and I'm on cocaine, but people love me.

Speaker 2 If you want to be Ronaldo and in the gym all the time. I want Mourinho is what I want.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Parking the bus.

Speaker 2 I want you to park the bus.

Speaker 2 The special one.

Speaker 2 Mike Powell.

Speaker 2 It felt good. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Mike Powell. Great.
Well,

Speaker 2 we finish with five and we go back to the business. That's amazing.
Amazing achievement.

Speaker 2 And also, thanks to Craig because we've played that extended jingle every week as a good luck charm, as a lucky mascot, whilst Alice was connecting each week.

Speaker 2 So we will now revert to the usual Cumrue Connection theme. Correct.
I'm going to go to Cardiff and I'm going to pay Mike Powell to teach me how to bat in a day. I thought you had a full life.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm talking about when I retire. Okay.
Mike Powell is, I don't know, five years older than me. Okay.
So I'll be 75 and he'll be 80. Yeah, lovely.
It's now time for a made-up game.

Speaker 6 Tires matter. They're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road.
Tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack.

Speaker 6 Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, Tire Rack makes it easy. Fast, free shipping, free road hazard protection, and convenient installation options.

Speaker 6 Go to tire rack.com to see tire test results, tire ratings, and consumer reviews, and be sure to check out all the special offers. TireRack.com, the way tire buying should be.

Speaker 7 When never thought this would happen, actually happens, Serve Pro's got you. If disaster threatens to put production weeks behind schedule, Serve Pro's Got You.

Speaker 7 When you need precise containment to stay in operation through the unexpected, Serve Pro's got you.

Speaker 7 When the aftermath of floods, wildfires, hurricanes, and other forces that are out of your control have you feeling a loss loss of control? Serve Pro's got you.

Speaker 7 Simply put, whenever or wherever you need help in a hurry, make sure your first call is to the number one name in cleanup and restoration.

Speaker 7 Because only ServePro has the scale and expertise to get you back up to speed quicker than you ever thought possible.

Speaker 7 So, if fire or water damage ever threatens your home or business, remember to call on the team that's faster to any size disaster at 1-800-SERVPRO or by visiting ServePro.com.

Speaker 7 Serve Pro, like it never even happened.

Speaker 2 Yes, it's time for a made-up game and there's already a feeling of anticipation in the studio because a new microphone has been bought. Wow.
Is that the is I saw that?

Speaker 2 Did that transaction go through just after midnight by any chance? No, it did not. I've had this mic for.

Speaker 2 I wish we'd never set up a bank account together

Speaker 2 every time I buy something new.

Speaker 2 Well, I,

Speaker 2 as a tech bro, I get notification on my watch and on my phone. Dave Masterman has spent and I never chase it up.
Of course you don't. John chases up every week.
Because Ellis's life is full.

Speaker 2 Well, no, because he trusts my purchases. I'm not tight.
He chases the cleaners.

Speaker 2 I trust you. As I'm doing a risky midnight wordle.

Speaker 2 Suddenly,

Speaker 2 there's a new thing to contend with. It is funny, though.

Speaker 2 The first time it happened, I screenshotted it and I thought, wouldn't it be funny if I actually rang Deb up now and said, what's this then, mate? But I trust you.

Speaker 2 But John does that and he's not doing it for a bit. He's doing it because he doesn't trust you and hates you, Dave.
No, it's not because I don't trust him.

Speaker 2 It's not because I hate him because I don't hate him and I do trust him. But someone, there has to be a backstop.
I'm the backstop. You're checks and balances.
I'm checks and balances.

Speaker 2 Can you be the backstop, Al? Okay.

Speaker 2 What's that for?

Speaker 2 It's for to record stuff. Great.
See you next week. That's it.
Fine.

Speaker 2 Great. So, no, this microphone I did buy a few weeks ago, but it's for remote records.
So it's already had good use. I mean, this was the microphone we used for Alarm Gate.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but what about the microphones we use for remote records in the van?

Speaker 2 Also on the company. Okay.
Which is also gone to good use. I think you would agree has gone to good use.
Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

Speaker 2 Just echoing through my empty life.

Speaker 2 Notifications

Speaker 2 resounding. It's like being in a company with Imelda Marcos.
Just spend, spend, spend.

Speaker 2 Right. So, yes, there is a microphone in play.
Now, usually, if there's a mic on the table, it means there's going to be a special guest. There isn't.
And we just need to do a little bit of

Speaker 2 recording. The special guest is content.
The special guest is content.

Speaker 2 And to add to the brand new content, we have a brand new jingle. Oh, lovely.
Hello, Ellis, John, Dave, and all the team.

Speaker 2 I've been a listener since episode 44 of the BBC era when you read out my Manchester Evening News article about the man who drank at 500 pubs, which was an up your region article. Oh, yes.

Speaker 2 I've since left my days of hard-hitting journalism behind, and now, living between Norwich and Chiang Mai in Thailand, I write and perform music as Ben Kio. That's B-E-N-K-I-O.

Speaker 2 And he's got a little plug-in here, which we're more than happy to oblige. A new album coming out in November.
You can buy it on the company div.

Speaker 2 Like Viv Nicholson, the woman who won the pools and said, I'm going to spend, spend, spend.

Speaker 2 two years' time, just a wardrobe full of fur coats. Might just be microphones.

Speaker 2 It's why I thought I'd have a go at writing a jingle for Made Up Games. It was recorded by me, though it features a stunning vocal debut from my girlfriend, Lena's Corgi, called Bumblebee.

Speaker 2 Just like us, he loves tuning in and finding out about Tim Davies' latest ice cream escapades. I hope you enjoy.
Keep up the good works. This is Ben with a new Made Up Games jingle.

Speaker 2 I've been seized by a question. Oh, what if the life

Speaker 2 that we're living in is just another

Speaker 2 made-up game?

Speaker 2 It's made of tongues

Speaker 2 that we're speaking. I made up love

Speaker 2 that we're seeking. I made up podcast that we're listening to.

Speaker 2 Oh, come on then.

Speaker 2 If it's all made up, then I wanna play another

Speaker 2 made of game.

Speaker 2 I can imagine Lamo or Hugh Stevens discussing that on the round table on six music. That's a fucking movie.

Speaker 2 It's got a bit of Mac DeMarco about it. Has it?

Speaker 2 I really enjoyed that. Really enjoyed it.
Very good indeed.

Speaker 2 Lovely.

Speaker 2 Great. So thank you very much to Ben.
Thanks, Ben. Every week we play a different game that's been made up by a listener.
Scores on the doors.

Speaker 2 Elish edged last week's game, the 3-2-1 draw game. Of course, we all remember the shoe drawing, which actually won you a point in the end.
I got a message from that.

Speaker 2 I got a message on Instagram about that because obviously everyone had a really good laugh at me drawing a shoe side on. People found it hilarious.

Speaker 2 Well, Jamie Price says, just listen to the most recent podcast and annoyed how much they took the makeup you're shoe measuring. Dave says multiple times you wanted length and height.

Speaker 2 That would make the perspective of your drawing correct as a bird's eye view wouldn't show that. Thank you, Jamie Price.
Did you say length and height, Dave?

Speaker 2 I think I said height and width at one point. Well, that's not what you're saying.
Well, that doesn't make sense, does it? Unless the shoe is on its bottom. Yeah, I said

Speaker 2 length and width. And I think what I listened about one time, I might have said length and height.
Well Zoff cried with love.

Speaker 2 I think it was fairly clear, but I enjoyed the diagram. It was good stuff.

Speaker 2 You edged the game, though. Yeah,

Speaker 2 we're back at juice.

Speaker 2 John is leading two loving games and one loving set. Nice.
We have received an email from someone who plays Paddle and has introduced sudden death juice.

Speaker 2 If it goes back to juice once after advantage, it goes to sudden death juice or SDD as he calls it. Dave?

Speaker 2 No one cares. Paddle is for dj.
No!

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 And Jurgen Klock. And tech bros.
And tech bros. It's quite, I think it's a low impact racket sport into your 40s, which is probably quite good for some people.
Yeah, I actually like paddle. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think you would love paddle. I would ruin it for everyone else yeah yeah welcome to my world

Speaker 2 yeah i've got mates who are getting into it i yeah i bet you enjoy it i bet you have to it's crispin getting into it he's probably got his own court hasn't he dave i'm seeing crispin next week oh yeah i'll ask him i think jürgen klop had a paddle court put in at liverpool's training ground i think he was big into paddle yeah

Speaker 2 all right i'll get into paddle if you why don't we all go and play a bit of paddle i've never played it it looks it looks like fun but i've never played it yeah uh They do suggest a sudden death juice.

Speaker 2 Do we want to do it? Do we want to just keep going? Okay, fine. We're in.
We're in now, aren't we? When the Lawn Tennis Association brings that in. Thank you.

Speaker 2 We'll do Sudden Death Juice. But we are playing

Speaker 2 like it's Wimbledon, I'm afraid.

Speaker 2 And some of those games go on to like midnight.

Speaker 2 Yes. So, Dave and Liverpool, thanks for your suggestion.
Thanks, Dave. We're going to stick with the back and forth.

Speaker 2 The merry-go-round of juice to advantage to juice to advantage. Should when Feder and Adal's

Speaker 2 That's where they built a roof on Centre Coalition. It is just like that.

Speaker 2 That's it. We're going to be here all day.
This week's game is from Claire. Hello, boys.
I have a game for you called Backward Badinage.

Speaker 2 Ellis and John are presented with a collection of backwards recordings of well-known show phrases. These will have already been recorded by producer Dave.

Speaker 2 From our own show. Yeah, the phrases are fairly well known.
You don't need to really worry about what the phrases are. It's not really really a part of the gameplay.

Speaker 2 But yeah, the phrases will be well known from the show. These will have been recorded by Dave ahead of the game, which I have done.

Speaker 2 The aim is to then replicate and recreate each backwards phrase to the best of your ability.

Speaker 2 You'll hear the reverse phrase. You then need to copy what you've heard.
The one that then sounds closest to what the phrase sounds like forwards wins the point.

Speaker 2 So it's very much about basically listening and then

Speaker 2 repeating. Yeah.
This is a game I invented for my children using an app, but we're not using an app. We're just going to give it a go and had lots of fun playing it.
Keep up the good work.

Speaker 2 Best wishes. Claire Sudbury from Manchester.
So it's been played already, so there's clearly fun to be had because Claire has played it with her kids. So we'll just go in for round one.

Speaker 2 Who wants to be the first person to give it a

Speaker 2 ignore that? Ignore that, John. Didn't happen, Dave.

Speaker 2 I've actually erased them from my mind. We'll go to you first, John.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So we'll be...

Speaker 2 Why is there this microphone? Because we need to record straight into my laptop to quickly reverse it.

Speaker 2 So... So how much is this game costing the company, Dave?

Speaker 2 It actually just means the microphone is going yet again to good use. The same microphone that has already been used for three remote recordings.
Are you going to bin that after today's recording?

Speaker 2 Absolutely not. I'll keep that forever.
Okay. It's good gear.

Speaker 2 All right, so first of all, we'll hear the reversed phrase. And by the way, happy to play this a few times because I think this is tricky.
It's a tricky game, but that's where the fun comes.

Speaker 2 Here we go. Shebers hidden the sills.

Speaker 2 Alright, one more time, please. Shebersidden is more we are.
Do you want it again? We can have it as many times as you can. One more time, please.

Speaker 2 She burst hidden as hilt.

Speaker 2 She busnib nit snilts nom nua.

Speaker 2 That's good. Alice, can we not laugh over the attempts of our fellow hosts, please?

Speaker 2 And it's been picked up by

Speaker 2 the folly mic.

Speaker 2 Great. Ellis, your turn, please.

Speaker 2 Give you one more time, but you've already had three listens, so I'm not going to. Ellis gets extra listens, does he? Because we've had a good 20 seconds here.
I think one.

Speaker 2 And you'll get this when we flip it around for

Speaker 2 the next game. Do you want to hear one more time? Yes, please.

Speaker 2 I think they were both pretty strong. Do you?

Speaker 2 I already like this game a lot.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's boost these bad boys. Give it the full volume they deserve, of course.
Reverse. Right, do we want to hear now the actual phrase?

Speaker 2 So here's what you were trying to say. I want listen this rubbish.
Okay, so it's I want listen this rubbish.

Speaker 2 Here's John Robbins's attempt.

Speaker 2 I don't think that's bad. Do you know? I think it's quite bad.
No, I think that's good. It sounds a bit like a bad impression of David Bowie.
Can I hear it again? Absolutely.

Speaker 2 How in months splints and bins of beesh.

Speaker 2 Is that the right speech? It's the right everything.

Speaker 2 It's just

Speaker 2 so funny. Right, can I listen to my yeah, and yeah, let's see, because I think, well, let's hear.

Speaker 2 I mean, he pulls it together at the very end.

Speaker 2 I think my rubbish is better.

Speaker 2 That's good, John. It's one nil to John.

Speaker 2 Absolutely one nil to John there.

Speaker 2 Right. My turn? Saying number two.
That is actually one of the easier ones.

Speaker 2 Saying number two. Here we go.
Listen carefully. Hey, nine words, the head swasters.
Where are your

Speaker 2 Go again. Listen to it again, please.
Hey, nine kwershdi, headswastofs, where are you off?

Speaker 2 Here's nine of course it touched by.

Speaker 2 I think that'll be quite far from, but it's a hard one. What's your problem? You need to get back on this mic now.

Speaker 2 What is your problem? No, I've not got a problem. I admit it's hard.
It's hard. I love this game.
I'd like to hear that again. And for once, I don't feel stupid even on Bandit, which is nice.

Speaker 2 Go on for John one more time

Speaker 2 hey nine ikweshni he swasnerfswero yov they all sound like croatian footballers

Speaker 2 he played in the same team as davoshuka that guy

Speaker 2 john's i think i'm gonna start doing this john's phonetically writing down the noise seriously and rightly so do you want it one more time johnny happy yeah i can do hey nine ikweshni he swasnerfswero yov

Speaker 2 and here we go for john's attempt at the reversed phrase round two

Speaker 2 hey nine equesni, hip, swelchner, squilch, glojov.

Speaker 2 It had a few more little nuggets in there that kind of kept in time with the scanning, I think. So that's it'll be interesting.
I need a pen because I'm going to start writing mine down phonetically.

Speaker 2 Okay, so let's turn Alice's round. Let's turn John's round.
And Bertie, in the meantime.

Speaker 2 Four Euros for a toaster. You're joking, aren't you? Four Euros for a toastie.
You're joking, aren't you? Elle, we'll start with you.

Speaker 2 He's well, then in that one, he started quite well, and then the wheels came off. The wheels did come off.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you finished quite strong. No, he started strong.

Speaker 2 It does sound a bit like toasty. The middle is all over the shop.
Let's hear John. I'm really looking forward to hearing John's.

Speaker 2 Wow!

Speaker 2 It actually sounds mankey.

Speaker 2 I think they'd understand that in Manchester. Can I hear John's one again?

Speaker 2 Foyod.

Speaker 2 The ending of that is

Speaker 2 the ending of that. Well, it's because you're copying me doing an accent.

Speaker 2 That's good stuff. That is good.
John's not bad. I'd write it down because the reason John.
Well, John's good at it, but I think the writing down helps there. The writing down is helping.

Speaker 2 I think this is the really tricky one, so apologies in advance. Oh, this is the tricky one.

Speaker 2 Euros were at that was they. All right, Bertie, round number three.
It's 2-0 to John. Round number three.

Speaker 2 Smeage, c lenas, and they've ironized you. Smeak about him.
Smeak. The longer they are, the harder it is.

Speaker 2 This is the longest.

Speaker 2 Smege, len as an evironized. Sme body him.
Sme.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm ready. Okay.
Join it one more time for good luck. Are you happy? Yeah, that's enough.

Speaker 2 Okay, here we go. John first.

Speaker 2 Shmir si lenas netcherovs smir mirin schn

Speaker 2 okay alice can I hit it one more time because he had a pen for one more go

Speaker 2 smearners never nice

Speaker 2 smear

Speaker 2 him smear

Speaker 2 smears

Speaker 2 no smears no joint

Speaker 2 He clearly lost his way then just kept making noises

Speaker 2 hoping he'd kind of get back on track again.

Speaker 2 I mean, we've got all sorts going on because we all started to lose it a little bit at the end, but let's reverse it. Let's find the backward badinage in that.

Speaker 2 All right, what are we doing here, Bertie? What is it we're trying to replicate? Games, made-up games, with John Robbins and Alice James. That's what you're trying to do.
Right.

Speaker 2 It's the challenge. It's the most challenging one.
Here we go. Here's John Robbins.

Speaker 2 Again, it's not bad. You can hear it.
It's my worst effort.

Speaker 2 Yo,

Speaker 2 You can get Eldris James. Absolutely.
Got Eldris James. It sounds like Phil Cornwell's David Bowie from Stellar Street.
Right, the problem is, we're all laughing a bit.

Speaker 2 A little bit of backwards laughter. But

Speaker 2 here we go.

Speaker 2 What is that?

Speaker 2 Bowie at the end. I picked my Ellis James at the end and games at the start.

Speaker 2 But there's a lot of more going on in the middle.

Speaker 2 I think it's that bad. It goes Bowie at the end.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, I can't lie. It is probably 3-0 to John at this point.
Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 2 There was a really simple one to finish. Let's do a quick one at the end.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm going to have to. I need to find out what this app is.
Yeah, I'm going to play this every day for real. There's quite a few of them.
There's quite a few of them.

Speaker 2 Okay, round four, just for a bit of fun.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of clipping in this one. As much as it's short, I think it is quite hard to write.

Speaker 2 Just because that's how it, when it's just one of those words once it's turned backwards, it just sounds a bit mad.

Speaker 2 The trick is, if you can write it down phonetically, but some of them are just.

Speaker 2 None of us have got got really that close. No, I don't think your first one's good.

Speaker 2 Okay, so Ellis to go first. A shorter one, but tricky because it's tricky back to front, this one, as they all have been.

Speaker 2 Okay, that might be quite close. Okay, okay.
Whenever you're ready.

Speaker 2 I think you end very strong there. Okay, Ellis James, I've reversed your phrase.
What is it that we are listening for here, Bertie? BBC sounds is the best. It's not a phrase from this show,

Speaker 2 but it is our core belief. Yeah, absolutely.
BBC sustains means the best. It finishes the best.

Speaker 2 It finishes best.

Speaker 2 John.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Give me sneak snows.

Speaker 2 Wow. That's pretty good.
That's pretty. That's very good.

Speaker 2 That's backward badinage. It's funny.

Speaker 2 It's so funny how good John is at that.

Speaker 2 I don't think it's possible to be good. It is.
What was that thing?

Speaker 2 You were amazing. Was it writing upside down or reading upside down? Reading upside down he did, then he gave himself a headache.

Speaker 2 So he had to stop doing it. Story of my childhood.
Yeah, he was really good at that thing, though, and I was as soon as he gave himself a headache and made himself sick and cried but he was the best

Speaker 2 oh my god i can't wait to play that with the kids tonight this will be such good fun yeah it's great thank you so much too

Speaker 2 and actually a couple of people have sent this game in over the last few months um have they is the thing that's is it tick the name everyone's playing it on tick tock everyone's i don't know right i've not got tick tock i don't know we actually played a version of that on the moils show about eight years ago as well so it has been around for a while but claire sudbury was the one that sent well thank you claire sudbury yeah thanks Thanks, Claire.

Speaker 2 I think Rachel previously has sent it in as well. Thank you, Rachel.
Backward badinage. Lovely stuff.
Well, thank you for that fantastic made-up game.

Speaker 2 If you've got a made-up game, send it to ellisandjohn at bbc.co.uk. If you've got a shame well, please do send them in.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Because we're a little bit, the shame well is running a little bit dry, Dave. It is.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And the shame well is very much like the NHS.

Speaker 2 That if you don't pay your taxes, which in this case are emails,

Speaker 2 the system will

Speaker 2 crumble. And due to an aging population, obviously there's a lot more shame knocking around.

Speaker 2 So, well, you know, maybe the metaphor doesn't entirely stretch, but it's currently costing

Speaker 2 shame is costing the UK over half of its GDP. Is it? Yeah.
It's only going to get worse. It's only going to get worse.
And what we don't want to have to see is a two-tier shame well. No, God, no.

Speaker 2 A privatised shame well system. No.
I mean, people can, if they want to,

Speaker 2 buy their own shame wells. Yeah, maybe through a planet work.
Maybe through a planet work, through shame insurance.

Speaker 2 Or you just know if you're very, very, very wealthy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You can get your own private shame well. And do you often pop into the other shame wells that are private and do your work there as well? Well, consultancy world, yeah.
Yeah, if it's bum stuff. Right.

Speaker 2 And I have had mixed experiences of that. Yeah.
Yeah. But all fine now.
Yes, that's good. Anyway, thank you very much for listening.

Speaker 2 Ellis and John at bbc.co.uk for your general correspondence or WhatsApp 07974293022. Love you lots.
Goodbye.

Speaker 6 Tires matter. They're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road.
Tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack.

Speaker 6 Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, Tire Rack makes it easy. Fast, free shipping, free road hazard protection, and convenient installation options.

Speaker 6 Go to tire rack.com to see tire test results, tire ratings, and consumer reviews. And be sure to check out all the special offers.
TireRack.com, the way tire buying should be.

Speaker 8 There's nothing like the sights and sounds of the holidays.

Speaker 2 The crackle of a fire, the tearing of wrapping paper, and the

Speaker 2 of new gifts.

Speaker 8 The smell of cookies, ornaments on the tree, and the

Speaker 3 of new toys, along with the sound of Christmas carols through the Lexus Premium Sound System. Get into the holiday spirit during the Lexus December to Remember sales event.

Speaker 8 Get offers on select models now through January 5th. Click the banner to discover more.

Speaker 3 Experience amazing at your Lexus Steeler.