SUPERFLY #69 - Housekeeping

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Let's do a high five

before we.

No, you got to go backwards.

You got to get over to where my hand is.

You're fool.

What's wrong with your brain?

I'm not good.

Oh my God.

I can never do the weather.

Hope we have a good podcast.

Hope we have a good podcast.

Good one.

Hey,

wow, sweet.

Geez, I'm sorry.

I have giant hands.

I apologize.

No, mine are bigger.

If you ever take a picture of your wiener, really put it right in the camera like that.

Like that?

And then it looks normal.

Well, I just want to bet with Heather that you would say, Wiener,

Heather, you owe me.

No, listen, I have bigger fish to fry.

I'm going to start off with a story.

How to fish.

I want to hear your story.

And you know what?

I'm not going to try to sabotage you by interrupting you constantly.

Okay.

I'll interrupt yours, though.

Okay, ready?

Here's what happened.

All right.

I have a roller on the ground like this

for like my neck.

So I was laying on it in the middle of the day for no reason just to open up the excruciating pain I'm constantly in, even though people in the comments feel free to poke at me.

It's fine.

You know, I'm used to it.

I'm like Rudy, you know.

I take it.

I have so here I am laying there like this.

And then a housekeeper that has been here for years comes in and she said,

she said,

David, do you wear a sleep mask at night?

And I said, No.

Why, did you find one?

She goes, No, but do you wear pads on your eyes or something when you sleep?

And I go,

No, where's she going with this?

You will never know

because she goes, I think I know.

Because I saw you on Jimmy Fallon and you look so puffy and your eyes are such big bags.

I thought, oh my God, what's going on?

What did you say to me?

Why would you jump to that from that?

Why would I even connect that?

And I go, no, I was fine.

And then she goes, oh, I just thought, oh, maybe you drank all night.

Maybe you stayed up all night or maybe you haven't gone to bed in weeks.

I go,

no,

I didn't.

You're not exaggerating.

I'm not really exaggerating.

And I go, no, I didn't really do anything.

I had dinner with Nate and I went to bed.

And she goes, oh.

And then it's not over.

We walk outside because it's kind of dim in my room.

We get in the light hallway.

And she goes, oh, there they are again.

What?

What are they?

The bag?

Like, it's yeah, like a magic trick.

Oh, hey,

like, she went like that, pulled him up.

I go, Yeah, they're always here.

And she goes,

and then she's like,

I'll mind my own business now.

But then all day, I'm like, this.

Well, that literally, we had Larry David on a couple of weeks ago on our sister podcast.

And that literally could be, you know, a curb episode.

The over-familiar housekeeper is very personal.

Are you going to,

wear those jeans?

We had one who spoke mostly Spanish.

I don't know if

your housekeeper.

In California.

She can't.

She can't.

She can't.

Well, I quick fix.

I visited you a lot over there and

I'd run into the hallway and stuff and she'd go, huh.

Do you put an ice cold compress on underneath your eyes?

Because you don't have anything going on.

she's no, no, no.

She says, Is Dana okay?

And I go, Why?

She goes, Just want to know if he's okay because I just took a glance and it's probably not my business.

I go, Oh, it's a hundred percent not.

And she goes, I just wonder because his hair is a little frizzy today.

Well, maybe she's lost her college.

She should be a life coach.

No, sometimes she goes like this: Your

shirt is a little wrinkly, so

but you, this is what you wore, and you picked her wear.

wear and I go

okay well we I'm kind of disorganized you may have noticed and um well your house looks like a mess behind you well yeah you know this well I am I'm under house arrest so this is yeah I mean honestly obviously I'm wearing an ankle thing I can't leave obvious

I mean no one would try to you know the thing about this though some people said oh it's not good to have a door but I feel like it's kind of like tension.

Like, is something going to come through that door?

Sure.

You know what I mean?

Everyone's thinking that in the comments.

But sometimes when I was foolish, I had a little extra shekels in my pocket and I'd go to the ATS.

And my jeans.

I didn't really, a lot of times my pants would go into the laundry with lots of 20s and 10s in the pocket.

Thousands.

And then they'd go through the dryer.

And then so I'd go down there and she would, she's incredibly sweet, totally honest.

She would line them up on top of the dryer, like all these

dollar bills or whatever.

Oh, yeah.

You want to know weirder spade?

When I was probably 11 or 12, I would get all my money, obviously bored.

Dad's gone.

What do I do?

So I would take the spritzer from the iron

and I'd go

on them.

And then I would iron them and I'd spray a little water on them, iron them flat.

I like them nice and crispy.

And then if that wasn't weird enough, by the way, should have been an insane asylum.

Then I'd go to the top of the stairs and I'd let them go.

And they go

all the way to the front door.

Is that crazy?

And Brian would walk in, deesh, grab one.

Yeah,

I was a bus boy and I'd get paid, you know, maybe 10 bucks.

So they just came out crunkly, crinkly, and I'd just throw them in a basket.

And everyone thought I had a lot of money, but it was all ones.

It was like $60.

Yeah.

Do you want to hear about my travel?

Yeah, let's hear about your travel while we got it.

I'll just go through them.

Here we go.

Going to Chicago with my wife.

So we go to the airport because we have our cars.

Chicago.

What's the real pronunciation?

I think you said Chicago instead of Chicago.

Chicago.

I call it Chicago.

So we get to the airport.

Flights, we're getting a little late.

And we go round and round and round and round and round in the parking garage.

She's following me.

Long story short.

There's no parking unless you park where electric cars could park.

Now, I...

That's LAX.

I'm sorry.

I'm interrupting you.

Oh, you're on your way there.

Okay.

We drove there, and then we went into the parking garage next to United, and every single thing was taken, except there were some open if you had an electric car.

Now, I have a hybrid, my wife has a regular car, just a dirty car, um, a Volvo.

But so we just decided we're going to park, and it said $250 minimum a day.

So we thought we'd come back either with them towed or like a $5,000 bill, but they were left.

So, anyway, that was the first time.

Wait, wait, $250

minimum fine a day.

Oh, fine.

Well, hybrid, I would count in my head.

Yeah.

So, I don't really understand those because what you plug them in, they go away for a week, and they're still plugged in.

I mean, so I didn't really get how they takes that long to charge one.

So, that was a little stressful.

Now, this has never happened before.

We go through the security.

I know people have security jokes.

I go through, I look back, there's the little cartoon person, and it's got a big red block over my crotch, just a big red square.

My wife comes through behind me, same thing, big red square.

We have two people in front of us kind of going, huh?

Would you,

they asked me, would you like to go to a private room for a pat down?

I said, no, I'm married.

So I said, no, and they asked my wife, too.

We don't.

We just thought it was funny.

I don't want to exaggerate for comic purposes.

I think it was a six to seven minute pat down.

You had to turn away, put one foot forward, and crouch down.

Then they're up underneath.

There's nothing grabbing, grinding, looking.

There were people who kind of thought I was

your friend from Fly on the Ball.

And they're looking, there's a little crowd gathering.

They're patting.

Then they come to the front.

Boom, boom, boom, grab, boom, boom.

So that was kind of exciting.

At the same time, it's happening to my wife.

So the both of us are just doing this grope and dance.

And this shocked me.

As I'm leaving, the guy who patted me down lit up a cigarette.

I go, dude, this is airborne.

Did you know what you should have said?

Can I just pat down my wife and we'll let you know what happens?

Because what was the big square in your crotch?

What do you think?

Was it that we were hiding a gun in our pants or an explosive device?

I mean, we don't look like that.

I mean, I did say to him at the end, I because I get a little passive-aggressive sometimes.

Yeah, sure.

I said, because I felt there was one grope that was for him.

One too many.

There was one squeeze that was for him.

One for the team.

Yeah, one for him.

It was a little bit.

bit so i said i just are you happy i said i wasn't leaning are you happy uh you gave him that one and he goes he kind of nodded and then i high five his blue gloves

yeah and then i smelled it

he goes sometimes the house wins i didn't do that and they got to grab your balls yeah i haven't remember i told you dana they go like this

back i'm gonna go to your crochet yeah the back of the hand you want the back of the hand i go let's go front

oh you just give them a give him everything yeah i go let's have some fun Come on.

Okay.

So, this part is not an exaggeration either.

So,

we fly to Chicago.

We're coming in.

Chicago now.

St.

Louis had a tornado and blew up a dust storm.

So, as we're flying, we made all the news.

We're just, we see it in the distance from the plane.

It's 100 miles wide and 20 miles tall of dust.

It envelops Chicago.

There's tornadoes and thunderstorms in 60 mile-an-hour gusts.

So, the guy's like, we're going to have you agree on a minute.

We've got a dust storm, tornadoes, thunderstorms, winds out of the southwest at gusting to 70 miles an hour.

We'll have the ground in just a minute.

So when we were coming into Chicago, we couldn't even see it.

It was so covered with dirt.

And

it was a little light chop.

You wouldn't have liked it.

A little dirty air, literally.

I will add in this part of your story.

Dana does not love flying.

And you add in all this chaos.

What was Paula doing?

Paula is the opposite of me.

She is so relaxed.

Like, because on the way back to LAX, we're coming in, the gear's down.

All of a sudden, the gear comes up.

We're like 40 seconds from landing, and the guy does a steep left bank.

Wait, he does?

He gives up on it?

Yeah.

And he goes, I go, oh, we just screwed the pooch.

We got to go around.

Then he comes on and goes, there was a plane that was on the runway, so we're going to go around.

Probably take us about 15 minutes to get back in line.

We'll get back to you.

To do a U-turn?

Jeez.

No, there's planes, you know, and so then two minutes later, he takes a steep dive with the gear coming down.

Clearly, the tower said, if you do this, you can go in.

And then we made a really hard landing.

I had someone on the aisle behind me who said it was their first flight.

Wow.

That shit a break.

She goes, I don't like this.

I've gotten much better than I've been because I've been flying so much.

I'm kind of like, fuck it.

But my wife's more like, hey,

And I use this too.

In World War II, they were flying and getting shot at.

I mean, you know, know, what are we such babies?

Anyway, I mean, we are babies because it's definitely uh,

you know, they all, they pretty much all land.

It's just, it's very upsetting and it scares you and tightens up your stomach.

And you land a little rocked, you're a little dizzy, a little

well, it's it's you know, like I always say, if you surf the web for an hour, go on daily mail or whatever, you're hypnotized into darkness.

So when you're reading all the time, it seems your brain feels like planes are crashing about every two to three minutes because it's boom.

So that's where the fear comes up.

Well, that Newark airport thing doesn't really help relax you.

I probably avoid it till they get it figured out.

Call me crazy.

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In a fun story, my mom saw Tom Jones in Arizona.

Where did she go?

The Arizona Financial Center?

Yeah, I think it's financial.

Dude,

Tom Jones can, I think it's a 5,000-seater

for Tom Jones.

Wow.

I knew he's a big star, but he's raking him in.

And they really took care of my mom.

They gave her, she had a knee operation.

They gave her a box, moved her into a box.

Isn't that nice?

Sweet.

I want to thank them.

Yeah, she just got her knee replaced.

Maybe I'll go to Arizona and just hang out with her.

I go,

I'm surrogate, Dave.

We're around the same size.

I said, why did you get your knee replaced?

She goes, it wasn't that bad, but I want to fight Dana.

So I want to have it as strong as possible.

I was like, oh,

why?

She didn't even tell me why.

By the way, just this for a second, Tom Jones is my wife's, I mean, might be her favorite.

Oh, really?

Now, he's had a renaissance.

He's been on these talent shows, and he's somebody who just has not lost his voice.

And he sings like Pavarotti, but as a rock star.

So if young people are listening, just YouTube, you know, Tom Jones.

You know, the funniest thing is my mom is so stoked and she's waiting, waiting, waiting.

It was last Tuesday.

And

I went to Las Vegas to that gig and I had lunch with Nikki.

And I look over his shoulder.

It says Tom Jones playing here tonight.

I was over at the wind.

He was playing there.

Yeah.

Isn't that crazy?

I would have seen him if I wasn't doing a show.

And then I thought, if I see him, I'm going to go, my mom is coming.

I would have seen him.

Well, I saw him once.

Quick story here at Harris, I think in Tahoe.

And his clothes, his pants were incredibly skin tight.

I mean, they weren't even pants.

So it was like, you know, and then he would, he would turn around for a drink of water.

And that you'd hear a lot of the women scream.

And then he would turn back and say, literally, I see we have some fanny watchers tonight.

Oh, boy.

Every time he turned around, they would scream, I see the fanny watchers are still pleased.

Then he turns around and goes, I see some weenie watchers are here.

And Danny goes.

Now, he puts his wiener on the outside of his pants.

He goes, they're too tight.

I got to put on the outside.

He was famously gifted downstairs.

And I guess famously, Milton Burrell had the same problem or dilemma or whatever and came to him and wanted to show him.

And so this Tom Jones told this story.

And then Tom Jones said, yes, he had me beat.

But I turned around and I heard a little sound and I knew he was a fanny watcher.

Fanny watcher.

Yeah.

You You know what?

I didn't even check with my mom if she's a fanny watcher.

I did not even,

you know, ask her ahead of time.

Well, it does she find because he was a

full-blown sex symbol in the 60s with women throwing things and all that.

Her favorites are Elvis, then Willie, and then Tom Jones.

We went and saw Willie once together.

It was great.

And now Tom Jones.

And what about Angelbert, Hunk, Hunker D?

You know what?

Last night I looked up Tom Jones on YouTube.

No joke, because I wanted to hear Green, Green Grass at Home, Tear Jeeker, Tear Junker, Joker, and Delilah.

And it was an old video of like the old, cool 70s shows where it's like a weird, kind of bright set, and he's in a Engelbert singing, who looks like Brad Pitt.

And Brad could easily play him in a movie.

He looked exactly like him in this clip.

And then Tom interrupts him, and then they start singing each other's songs, like that old, innocent, kind of cool.

They both have tuxes on.

They start taking

anyway.

They're great.

They're both great.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay.

Boring, that stuff.

Lastly, I would say before we get to the stuff.

Oh, the Cannes Film Festival's on.

One thing is that all the people that showed up that were, you know, a little bit of hot water, we'll say.

But I just saw the list of James Franco,

Ezra Miller, Kevin Spacey,

Shia LaBeouf.

So they're all there on the carpet doing different things.

Wow, that's an interesting game.

Isn't it interesting?

Like maybe they've served their time in jail of career jail.

It's always like a varied time of how long, but are you ever allowed to work again?

Are you not?

How rough was the crime you did?

You know, it's such an interesting thing of like, they're all there, but it's not even America, it's France.

So are they grading it on a curve?

I don't know.

I know.

I mean, it's like, are you convicted in a court of law or not?

Is one bar.

Yeah.

And the other is just,

you know, public opinion.

Public opinion misunderstanding or whatever or they you know but yeah i think the the canceling thing is tamped down a little bit we can't like whack them all afraid i actually saw shila buffo i think is kind of cool in the movie

man yeah he was

he was walking down somewhere it's kind of like let's say you're at the airport and you're walking you see a bunch of people that know you so they're following him and they want him to sign stuff and i see him he's getting more and more pissed but he was very cool about it i think he's self-aware enough to go these guys are all in my face.

And the second he takes one photo, like if people are walking behind him, he goes, Yeah, yeah, take a photo.

And then they all get in front of him to block him so they can get one.

Tries to walk again.

No, no, just sign this one thing for my nephew.

And then, you know, but he was very cool because they're really like yelling at him.

And people get mad.

And he had to keep moving.

So I give him that.

He didn't flip out.

Yeah, I mean, it's hard not to.

It's hard not to because there, you know, it's a big country and there sometimes it's just 15 or 20 people who are not it used to be in the old days gee mr clark gable could i get your autograph and now it's a it's a monetary thing i guess and so it's very it's it's aggressive and sometimes feels a little scary yeah you know you know it used to be all fans now it's not really fans just people that fake fans that say sign this or you know equipping an asset sign sign sign sign sign

And then you don't sign one and they hate you.

And then they go, sign, sign everywhere you sign, please.

You can't win.

Also,

I don't love hearing about these standing ovations.

Maybe I'm cynical, Dana.

But 11 minutes, nine minutes.

Do these people have nowhere to go?

Who can clap their hands in the Guinness Book of World Records for more than like 30 seconds?

10 minutes.

It's become a thing.

So there was one director is outside and he was like, he's actually was looking down and tears coming down his eyes.

And they asked him, what happened?

He goes, we only got the six minutes standing ovation.

That's just like nothing.

That's literally zero.

I think they've done an hour, haven't they?

Yeah, that's a bomb.

I think I would say start the standing ovation in the last 20 minutes of my movie when I play mine.

And then just so it'll wrap up by the time the movie's over.

I want to be, if you, if Bus Boys does have a premiere, I'm going to be there.

It'll definitely be in France, yeah.

And I'm going to

lead the applause.

Maybe it'll just be at some kind of local whatever, Busby's

theaters, theater.

Listen,

I've heard the word Oscar bait with Bus Boys, just on rough covers.

I think that there's nothing, there's no bigger compliment.

I mean, the 20-minute stand ovation, but there's no bigger compliment than reviews

of actors, people who pretend in front of an electronic lens Daniel Day Lewis's performance as Abraham Lincoln

is nothing short of a miracle.

It's miraculous.

Yeah.

David Spade

is a revelation as Busboy number two.

As Marky the Busboy.

He's exquisite.

He will reorientate the Earth's axis as it revolves around the sun.

David Spade is a miracle as Busboy Billy.

Billy.

Instead, they'll be like, David Spade struggled.

It seemed to get to the end of the movie in this.

David Spade puts the phone, it phoning it in as he pushes his way through Bus Boys.

He unbelievably took out a rotary phone.

That's how slow his phone says.

David Spade looks lost.

David Spade is in a different movie than Theoba.

What's happening?

Does anyone understand?

Did they play it backwards?

What's going on?

Yeah.

If I could understand it, I'd give it a rating.

But for this.

I couldn't get through the poster.

This cub reporter has to say it's a stinker.

This cub reporter.

I've never seen a movie before.

And this is what I start with.

They had the camera set up.

Surely people people were talking and moving about, but the whole thing is like a fever dream.

I don't remember one second of

one long run-on sentence.

It might have had one laugh, but I fell asleep too long to know if there were more laughs.

Hi, I'm a cub reporter for movies.com slash fly.

I sat in the audience, and in an hour and a half, I heard one Twitter and one chortle.

Here's my

titter.

Here's my slow-motion act out of the premiere, of an audience of the audience

the best in the world.

Good assistant.

David Spade and Dana Carvey's act out of happy audience member is a tag team extravaganza, one doing sound effects and one pretending to be in slow motion.

Okay.

All right.

Before I get to some stuff, I'll say thanks for watching the Amazon special.

It's doing well.

And if you want to go on my TikTok, I put up one of my ET jokes, which is gives you a little taste.

And remember, everybody, newest.

Movies are released on social media.

It's a huge universe.

So Dandelion is just there like a book on a bookshelf.

So that's why we mention it in the ensuing weeks after the premiere.

Dandelion,

Amazon Prime.

Go watch it.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Pop in.

All right, let's look at some stories.

What's going on over there?

And we're going to

keep it snug.

We're moving around.

Yeah, let's snug it up a little bit.

We're good.

All right, Dana, you know, I'm always dragging around and

I always got a five-hour energy on me.

I know that.

Yeah, they're either in my sock, in the car, they're somewhere.

You keep them everywhere.

I give them a little slurp.

I don't really shoot the whole thing like some people do on an empty stomach.

I think I eat a little bit, a couple sips, just like coffee.

Just keep something going there.

I don't.

I'm actually,

I don't want that much energy at once.

It's five hours, so I kind of, you know, that's what most people do, but I sip it overall.

There's a lot of different flavors.

Yeah, there's one called Confetti Craze that tastes like a good birthday cake, which they're all pretty good.

But this tastes

hot and buttery flavor here to let you be unapologetically extra and unstoppably energized, actually.

Big birthday energy, wherever you go.

The shots are reasonable.

You don't have to chug a full bottle or anything.

You just run around with that big birthday energy.

Yeah.

And

you can plan your confetti party at www.5hourenergy.com or Amazon.

That's available now.

You know what I mean?

So

you can get on 5-Hour Energy.

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What a dumb stomach.

Okay, here we go.

Looking at a big red ball on top of Central Park.

If you were to combine all 8 billion people on Earth into a giant meatball, it would fit in Central Park.

That's kind of shocking.

I never, I would have thought way way bigger.

Well, they're saying 8 billion.

Let's say the average human, you have got kids and stuff and Aboriginals.

I mean, maybe the average person is 100 pounds times 8 billion.

Heather,

it's a trillion pounds, and you can fit it in a Central Park.

Who asked AI this one?

Yeah, I think 100 pounds, that's what Heather is.

But how about the rest of the world that averages like 220?

And we're in America, don't forget.

So

we're not exactly

a waste model capital of the world.

What are we supposed to take away from that?

Eat more, become bigger people, or be proud that we can fit into Central Park?

What's our emotional takeaway?

I think it's, did you think it would be bigger or smaller?

And is everyone going like this?

Or is everyone going like this?

If they're going like this, it's bigger.

Well, what was the Grand Canyon and everyone peed in the Grand Canyon?

Yeah, they could not fill it up.

They could not fill it up.

Is this all AI or just

freaks in a basement?

These are all questions that everyone's asking.

Shut up, Brian.

It'd be eight billion.

It fits like a meatball.

Shut up.

How much meat is in that, or is it all just people?

Or do you put meat between the people to round it out?

I don't know.

Did you ever see Soil and Green?

Soil and green is

people.

Soil and green is people.

No, it was with Charles and Heston.

Soil and green.

Yeah, I did see it.

Scared me.

Dead for thousands of years.

The late, great Phil Hartman did the best Chuck Heston, man.

Yeah.

Okay, next one.

Oh, this is interesting.

Open AI co-founder wanted to build doomsday bunker to protect scientists because he thinks if AI takes over, the guy that knows the most about it is terrifying.

He's like, I'm scared.

Let's build a bunker while we're developing AI because we might have to hire.

AI will fucking find you in two seconds.

What are they thinking?

If AI is after that.

There are people that go, it's going to help mankind.

you don't know and then there are people who really think this is humans will not be the only i mean we will be obsolete and maybe sort of we must be eliminated i mean there's been so many movies from the 50s and there also was

a Star Trek episode about this with William Shatner.

Remember

Nomad, I think it was called, or whatever.

It was just this metal thing that was like 10 feet tall and it would just wander around the universe and destroy civilizations.

And it did it for a trillion years until it ran into the logic of James T.

Kirk.

So it's like, I am nomad, I must destroy imperfection.

But you yourself are imperfect.

All they had to do was say that.

I'm imperfect, imperfect, imperfect.

And it explodes.

For a billion years, it destroyed universes.

It took Bill Shatner 20 seconds to wipe him out.

Have you seen some of those

over?

Can't believe you want to destroy.

Sorry, go ahead.

You're a little piece of tinfoil.

You must destroy all life, but you are part of that life.

You are really being a bummer.

No wonder William Shattered.

I don't know how he didn't just pull his neck out or something or hurt his back.

You can't believe what you say.

You believe.

It's not my best impression.

We need to get Kevin Paulig in here.

Pretty good.

But it's a fun impression.

Also, I saw some Elon Musk robots, and they're really like putting on the writs.

Like they're not just like, I'm, they're like, yada da-da.

They're almost doing fucking Billie Gene out there.

And you go, it's getting too fast.

Well, think of it this way, David, if I may.

Think of the Wright brothers on a basic homemade glider going 120 feet.

Then 50 years later, 60 years later,

you've got 500

silly monkeys 10 miles in the sky going across the ocean.

We're going to make a leap in AI, like from a glider to a 747.

So you don't know what's coming.

I know you're scared.

This is a, here's my quick new impression of you about AI.

Quick impression.

What's going on?

I don't understand.

I don't, what are we, what are we supposed to do?

And what's going to happen?

You can, you can't see below peeing my pants.

Of joy or fear?

Fear.

Okay, kind of like the guy at the airport.

So planes went from Kitty Hawk to Newark.

To Newark, yes.

Newark is falling apart.

AI.

Well, look,

what we'll do to be ahead of ourselves soon, soon, because Google AI came out and they're making movies that are totally accurate.

What we're going to do is we're going to ask AI to make a podcast with digital copies of us

and then see if it's better than what we actually make.

It will be, Dana.

I'm scared.

It will be so much.

We can come on at the end and go, well, sorry.

Or we make tons of podcasts and sit back and collect cash.

Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

I think all the comments will be, that was a perfect show.

And I'll be like, well, that was the AI one.

They're like, oh, get back to that dog shit you normally do.

We like that.

Guess what's possible?

With AI and, you know, RoboTaxis, Waymos all over the place.

Somebody could buy 10 Robo taxis.

It might cost them 100, you know, 200 grand or something.

I'll do it.

And then the robo-taxis can monetize 24-7.

I guess they just have to

recharge themselves.

But while you sleep, get

what do you hate money?

Are you not going to do that?

Or do you like money?

Is it possible that I have robo-taxis working for me right now?

Right now, right now, dude.

Sorry.

On your brain.

Sometimes the future arrives sooner than you think.

Welcome to

the money I can afford.

And the jean jacket I stole from

photoshop.

There better be a pile of money behind that wooden balsa door.

Well, you go every day.

You're trying to like find out what you're going to wear.

I put on my uniform when I realize you're like pink today, maybe a gray hooded hoodie.

No, the problem is the people at home don't know this.

I

reluctantly relinquished black t-shirt to Dana.

So Dana loves black t-shirts.

We all do.

But I always think, okay, if he's wearing a black t-shirt, I have to wear one of my frilly little numbers because he's cornered at market.

So this one's purple.

I didn't go black.

Okay.

Because everyone goes, are you the same person?

Can you tell it's purple?

It's kind of dark.

Well, I won't, just FYI to our audience.

I may spiff up this a little bit.

Whoa.

Like I could put something behind me.

Oh, yeah.

We got some stuff coming.

Yeah, so we'll see.

I mean, you know, don't panic or don't throw a party, but just know that there's possibilities.

I like where's Waldo.

I like when I was in the New York hotel or when I'm at the hotel down in LA or I'm at a farm.

You never know.

It's where is he?

Where's Dana?

They always

know where you are.

Yeah.

Because they can hear the construction in front.

Beep, beep, brr.

Oh, I might get a funny thing I'm going to bring on this only for you.

And it's a write-off.

I'm not going to look it up.

I'm not going to say one thing.

Why?

You're not telling me what you're thinking?

No, I will.

I'll do it and I'll bring it.

And then you'll be like, oh, okay.

But I got to order it.

Oh.

I'll charge it to honest.

Look at my nose.

It's so bendy.

Look at that.

It's so weird.

Yeah, I know.

I just got a text from hi, it's David's housekeeper.

His nose is also very bendy.

What the fuck?

He goes, she goes, you ever going to get rid of that dent in your nose up there?

And I go, why should I?

She goes,

maybe it's just the lighting in here, but it really sticks out like a sundial.

Okay, well, are the so anyway?

I had an MRI yesterday that I actually enjoyed, and I think I fell asleep just for like a hip thing.

But I was in there for 45 minutes in the tube.

And they are, they are funny because right in front of you is, is two bolts and a little open slit.

So it looks like an AI face, kind of

like,

and then it just, I don't know if people have been, you've been in one recently like,

but it starts out

and it's quiet.

And then it's like,

and then it's finally like,

you know, it's like, it's crazy.

And then it goes silent for like 15.

Well, only one time that I almost tried to sit up, but they have me strapped in.

It's like,

and then it stopped.

15 seconds, I'm like, you know,

it's so hard to like, if you do it for your head, or I've done it for my neck, obviously, but you're in there like this.

The guy's like, Are you okay in there?

Are you freaking out?

And I go,

because you have to go in like this.

And it's so tight.

You get to right here and you go, you start.

They go, you might have an anxiety attack.

Are you okay?

You want to have a chance?

Are you claustrophobic?

Yeah, they ask.

Well, I not really, but then when you're like this, I'm like, I guess you have to be.

And then you get like this.

Then he goes.

All right, we're going to start here.

And I go, okay.

He goes, you're going to hear some noises.

And it goes like

it goes bung bung yeah like you said and i goes

you're like

you can't even hear anything it's maddening for 45 minutes because of the tube and the way i went in and those sounds and the guy doing that you're okay in there i felt like i was in I thought I was in 2001, you know, I mean, I felt like I was inside that movie somehow.

And so I kind of enjoyed it, you know, but I had, they put earphone, Here's what they did.

It sounds like a bit.

They put earplugs and then big ear canceling on top and then started talking to me.

And all I just looked at was like,

yeah.

And I go, I can't hear one word you're saying.

Mine were still,

I could still hear me.

He goes, it goes bang, bang.

Then there's a 10-second silence.

And he goes,

think your guys' going to do another grown-ups?

It's funny.

I thought if you weren't going for that then, I was going to go for

that.

So what was up with the Turtle Man and Master of the Skies?

Why wasn't Dana at the reunion?

Yeah,

what's up with Spade's hair today?

What do you mean, hair today?

I'm in an MRI routine.

MRI.

David, did you get the message I gave your housekeeper about your baggy eyes?

Is there any way I could get an advanced copy of Buzz Boys?

David, if I I don't have Amazon Prime, can you send me a link?

Why does yours sound so metallical?

It's funny.

I don't know why it's funny.

So

what was with Church Lady and what Spade came in and did, Hunter Biden?

What was that about?

If you don't go to the 60th anniversary, will you let Spade borrow your Church Lady wig?

Would Spade fit in that wig or would you need a refit?

Yours still sounds like it, too.

I like it.

Mine's got a big squishy thing on it, though.

No,

I took this off for a more metallic sound.

Okay, go ahead.

So what's up with Spade?

No, seriously.

And meanwhile, the background noise.

But

I did say,

can you slow down the noise?

Also, in a side story, we found a huge lump or some sort of foreign object in your body.

I think someone left a scalpel there when you got your hernia last time.

Anyway, so what's going on with the bench warmers?

Can you slow down the noises?

Hey,

I have two more questions about Dana, so I turn the machine off for a while.

I go, no, no, keep it going.

I want to keep this.

I want to finish the MRI.

No, it's too loud.

Anyway, what else is happening?

Since my hands are like this,

can you mind if I play a little blues harp?

Whoa, what do you want?

Last question from my nurse: Are you too old to have a TikTok?

That's a good one.

Simple yes or no.

Oh, sometimes our job cracks me out.

We could end on that if you want.

Yeah, I think it was funny.

Yeah, it was good.

I think it was a nice tight episode for our family.

We really, we really, I'm really proud of us.

Yeah.

And

that should be our name for a podcast.

I'm proud of us.

We're proud of us.

Yeah, we don't have the,

we don't have what other people have, but we, we've got hope.

We got us.

And we got high

hopes.

Next week, I want to talk about why the movement to hate baby boomers.

There's a lot of people talking about boomers.

We'll go deep.

We haven't had anybody on for a while.

Maybe we'll get somebody on.

Yeah, maybe get Tim Dylan to talk about that.

He's pretty funny about it.

It's funny.

He hates.

We can get him to hate anything.

Yeah, he's got some good hot.

He was on CNN the other day, and he's just ripping on everything.

It's so funny.

That is entertaining.

Okay, thanks for coming, Dana.

Thanks for coming by my podcast.

Appreciate it.

I appreciate it just for a second.

You've been on Dana Carvey's Superfly with my guest today, David.

With David Spade.

With David Spade.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.

Hope you liked it.