Emergency Podcast: We Plead Ignorance To Halloween

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Speaker 2 And you can get 20% off your first order with Jenny Bird by visiting jenny-bird.com and using code F-O-T-W at checkout. You know, when it gets colder, I always fall in the same trap.

Speaker 2 Heavy meals, too much takeout, and suddenly I'm like, why do my jeans hate me?

Speaker 1 I know. Yeah, me too.
I mean, I'll open the fridge in December and it's like half a pizza and an orange from 1997. Not a lot of healthy options, David.

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Speaker 2 Yeah, it's not just about eating better. It's about time.
I'd rather spend 30 minutes working on a bit for my hilarious act than 30 minutes staring into my oven going,

Speaker 2 is this thing even on?

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 This is that one little thing that keeps you sane during the cold months. No stress, no junk, just done.

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Speaker 1 You got on the Zoom and I thought, wow, this is the best

Speaker 1 David has looked since the beginning of the podcast. And this is the first time you're going full

Speaker 1 Dana. You have a black t-shirt, no accoutrements,

Speaker 1 and it works for you. I threw this on last minute because it's kind of cold today.
Otherwise, we would have been black on black.

Speaker 2 No, you know what the riveting story is, and this is an emergency podcast to tell you this. This is green.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Dark on green.

Speaker 2 Yeah, dark green. Because I go, we have black, so it's dark green.
Can you tell Heather?

Speaker 1 No. No.
Well, I want to say that

Speaker 1 it looks like navy gray. It looks navy gray.
I thought it was, it looks, well, I could see a gray, green, black.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give it all three.

Speaker 1 A lot of people got stimulated. I heard it anecdotally, the idea of an emergency podcast.

Speaker 1 And it was an emergency.

Speaker 1 And it was good that we got it out there, but it was an emergency.

Speaker 2 It wasn't a level 12 emergency. Yeah, you know, it's funny is that some people in the comments are like, What the fuck? Why is it an emergency? I'm like, it just sounded funny.

Speaker 2 Like, it was kind of a trivial story, but it's like, Dana. But we did talk about it because there were articles about it.
So, why not? And, you know, we learned a lot. We laughed, we cried.

Speaker 1 Well, look, this is what my takeaway from it, besides all the different machinations, politics, and stuff. It's very hard, like I said, okay, David's feelings were a little bit hurt.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So then I went in and said, worst reviews Dana Carvey ever got. And I got a collage.
Was he ever funny? Whatever happened to him? What a hack. Catalog.
And I was like,

Speaker 1 off, get off, get out of here.

Speaker 2 I know. It's hard.

Speaker 1 It's just human.

Speaker 2 Yeah. One of the, one of the, then someone saw what we said and said, David Spade pleads ignorance of the situation.
Like, I like it was some actual huge controversy. I'm like, I don't see it.

Speaker 2 I see nothing. I'm like, I heard an article in the car going, Hey, this is what's going on.
I'm like, Well, I don't know all the facts. Like, unlike everyone else, you got to get a few facts.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm going to pull out of a gig because, and they're like, Well, they already fixed that.

Speaker 1 He's calling you a liar, but it did trend fast and wide. My doctor's assistant, you know, I was talking to her, and she goes, Oh,

Speaker 1 David Spade,

Speaker 1 he went to the comedy show, but he said he didn't know about the controversy. I'm gonna have to tell doctor.

Speaker 1 She told the doctor that I pleaded ignorance, yeah, pleaded ignorance. That's calling you a liar.

Speaker 2 That's the greatest phrase. I love that too.

Speaker 2 The greatest phrase, Rose, was that. But number one

Speaker 2 is he talked about traffic flying, dot dot dot. You get it.

Speaker 2 The guy, like, he's a comedy connoisseur.

Speaker 1 I know. This is, it's just, I just want to insert something here.
So, because I have it now. Uh, Halloween is coming up, right?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 we have a lot of trick-or-treaters, and a lot of times I'm giving out the candy. Sometimes I'll just buy a mask, right? But this year, I'm having one custom-made, and I'm basing it on someone.

Speaker 1 And so, here's the picture, and then I'm going to make a mask for when I give out the Halloween candy.

Speaker 1 That's cute.

Speaker 2 I thought that was high school.

Speaker 1 That's SNL.

Speaker 1 Is it kind of scary? I mean, is it

Speaker 2 terrifying, but it is scary that I turn into this fucking monster.

Speaker 1 Hey, who wants some candy? Shabazzu?

Speaker 1 Want a Zagnut or an Abba Zabba? No.

Speaker 1 Hey, buddy.

Speaker 1 Let's put on Tommy boys.

Speaker 2 I was about to say, I don't have to change my voice.

Speaker 1 Well, the joke was, it's not a scary picture, was my joke.

Speaker 2 No, I know.

Speaker 1 That was it. Okay, we got that out of the way.
That was it.

Speaker 2 Is there anything else we have to talk about? Because we just did the good stuff.

Speaker 1 Actually, I'll tell you this.

Speaker 2 What was your laziest costume growing up? Because I'll give you one example. Two examples.
One, I was going to a party in college, and I, I'm like, I'm not going to any

Speaker 2 Halloween parties. Of course, I cave in because I pleaded ignorance like I wasn't going to go.

Speaker 1 And then I went.

Speaker 2 So I had a white sweatshirt with a black bat on it, like the Batman bat. Just a bat, no circle around it, just a black.
I wore that with jeans, and I was Batman. Fucking got horrible reviews.

Speaker 1 Then. Well, this is in college.
You're in your early 20s doing this stuff?

Speaker 2 Doing this stuff, yes. Don't breathe.

Speaker 1 Well, when's the last time? Let me ask you a question. And this is an emergency part of this emergency podcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 When's the last time you seriously went out?

Speaker 1 Made a costume. Made a costume.

Speaker 1 We would get pillowcases information

Speaker 1 and run around the neighborhood.

Speaker 1 This was probably ended at 11 or 12 or maybe 13 where you were

Speaker 1 seriously going trick-or-treating to get candy.

Speaker 1 And you're doing it in your late 20s with a funny costume.

Speaker 1 Come on. Come on, dude.

Speaker 2 Here's my worst costume.

Speaker 1 That was the worst.

Speaker 2 But in my 40s,

Speaker 2 no, very recently, I went as

Speaker 2 I had a, I had no costume. So I went, I had a suede, like bomber jacket, you know, like brown.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you're like a military guy or something.

Speaker 2 No, I went just that, and I was David Suede. And that one went over a little better,

Speaker 2 but no, no real work put into it. But then my buddy had a shark costume from something he did where he puts, and I go, what could we be?

Speaker 1 I go, oh,

Speaker 1 so I greased my hair back and had a shark jacket.

Speaker 2 And I was fine.

Speaker 2 Have you heard the story?

Speaker 1 Sorry to jump your idea. Jump the shark.
I was in a state of emergency. I'm going to

Speaker 1 calm down.

Speaker 2 I have to say, when this podcast is in a state of emergency, everything moves quicker.

Speaker 1 We just jump around. Okay, I'll give you two Halloween stories that I probably have done the last few years.
One is my brother in New York, I thought was pretty interesting.

Speaker 1 So he gets mirrors, little mirrors. I guess some of them, he was an artist, maybe they were cut in different shapes.

Speaker 1 And he put them all together and then he put it around, and it was just mirrors all around him. And so people would say, What's your costume? And he said, I'm going as you

Speaker 1 because they would look in the mirror. Kind of clever, right?

Speaker 1 Now, this is one

Speaker 1 I probably tow, I'm trying to raise a family.

Speaker 1 I moved to Mill Valley. I've got a fireplace.
It's a little, cool, little gingerbread house, you know, and I go, phew, enough with Hollywood. I'm with the real people.
I'm hiking in the woods.

Speaker 1 Everything's great. My pass is behind me.
That's no big deal. And I was looked up and framing the door was open and framing it was a tall kid dressed exactly like Garth.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was the wig, the whole thing. And then I I can

Speaker 1 all the human.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 But then you got slightly excited. You're like,

Speaker 2 I feel tingles in my underpants or whatever.

Speaker 1 I feel funny like when I used to climb the rope in gym class.

Speaker 2 I did like you didn't rush that.

Speaker 1 You gave it the real reason. I gave it the real thing because, you know, people.

Speaker 2 I'm during this emergency podcast. You didn't rush it.

Speaker 1 I like Garth. I want to be Garth, or I want Garth as a friend.
I'll just put it out there. And

Speaker 1 you're the same way with

Speaker 1 Dickie Roberts.

Speaker 2 Dickie Roberts. I heard some Dickie Roberts praise on the road this time.

Speaker 2 It was the most mentioned on the road, shockingly.

Speaker 1 What do you mean on the road?

Speaker 2 Like a security guard, Rex.

Speaker 2 A woman that was friends with Vessi.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's fun.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was nice to hear.

Speaker 2 But, oh, I have here's my best Halloween costume. Ready, Dana? Are you ready? By the way, could we change the name of the whole podcast to Emergency Podcast? Because people would click on that.

Speaker 2 It would be fun.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 we will do more of those because now that we know sometimes something happens late and whatever, and our producer was kind enough to go in, you know, on the

Speaker 1 Sunday and just do that emergency.

Speaker 1 And Heather, Heather

Speaker 1 Santoro was there too.

Speaker 2 On her one not really day off.

Speaker 2 Okay, so here's the costume.

Speaker 2 It was back at those fun Kate Hudson parties, which probably still does. I don't get invited.

Speaker 1 So I, you know why?

Speaker 2 Because I stole all the attention.

Speaker 2 That's what it is.

Speaker 2 Okay. Crush so hard.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's hear it.

Speaker 1 Me?

Speaker 1 I don't know what I wore.

Speaker 2 Then I had the babies that were little. What were they? Were they?

Speaker 2 We had a blow-up doll full-size and then three little

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 2 biting on my butt and taped me with a diaper on. And then three little

Speaker 2 baby-size blow-up dolls. It's kind of like adolescent.
Adolescents or little people-size. And they were taped to each other, and I went as the human centipede.
Oh, it killed.

Speaker 2 It's a really filthy movie, offensive, scary movie.

Speaker 1 You know what it is?

Speaker 2 You'll gross out.

Speaker 2 They kidnap all these teenagers naturally in an old lighthouse, naturally, end of a road, dark out.

Speaker 2 They seem nice at first.

Speaker 2 Anyway, it's a fate worse than death. They line you up

Speaker 2 and they sew the mouth to the next guy's anal region, his anus.

Speaker 1 Of course, it sounds fun, but I don't know. No, it sounds fun for a little bit.

Speaker 2 I mean, they go, this is a fun game, like a frat game.

Speaker 2 We literally sew with the doctor, your mouth or their buttle, and then they do it to the next one, and then they have to poop, and then the next person has to get it and poop.

Speaker 2 By the way, one day of that, it's not fun.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey, I think I'm going to hurl. I know you're going to hurl.
Garth would freaking hurl. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 And that was a hit movie, like a small hit.

Speaker 2 But everyone knew about it because it was so gross.

Speaker 1 Well, a guy said, hey, you got to go to Burning Man, man. Go to Burning Man.
I go to Burning Man all the time. Why don't you come next year to Burning Man? I go, what do you see up there?

Speaker 1 Oh, one time I was just hanging out in the desert and I saw five naked guys walking along and they had a rope taped or something.

Speaker 1 Their wieners tied around and then to the next guy, the next guy, and the next guy. So it was like a wiener chain, man.
You got to go to Burning Man. Man, where were you? Yeah, go to Bernie, man.

Speaker 1 They got wiener chains, man. And you blew it.

Speaker 2 You could have been there.

Speaker 2 You could have made your iPhone.

Speaker 1 I went to Smoldering, Man. It's like three miles down, and there's a Denny's there and a Motel 6 and much nicer.

Speaker 2 I went to Still Trying to Light It, man.

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Speaker 3 What's up? It's Draymond Green. I'm back for my 14th NBA season.
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Speaker 1 Okay, I have an emergency podcast moment. Okay.

Speaker 1 My favorite direct, well, I don't know, I have, there's Kubrick, there's Kubrick, there's Tarantino. Tarantino.

Speaker 1 Francis Ford Coppola, The Godfather 1 and 2, in the conversation of the best movies ever made.

Speaker 1 He lost $120 million on Metatropolis because he's an artist. He put his own money into it.

Speaker 1 Didn't do so. Bus, man.

Speaker 2 Bus boys. But it hasn't come out yet.
But I didn't see Megaflopolis, but I heard that it didn't go perfectly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anyway, this is part of the emergency podcast is that he's had to start selling his watch collection. So I'm announcing a GoFundMe for

Speaker 1 Francis Ford Coppola.

Speaker 2 Do you do him? Because he could be sitting on his lawn with all his watches out and a signed picture of Michael Corleone.

Speaker 1 Let me try it. Sometimes I just try to, it's almost like a Svengali thing.
I try to get a voice. Francis Ford Coppola, what does he talk like? What does he talk like?

Speaker 1 I'm Francis Ford Coppola. How are you?

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's any good.

Speaker 2 I got it. Now, see here, Shia LaBoff.

Speaker 2 You're acting crazy on a set.

Speaker 1 Oh, I tell you, I tell you, Shia LeBoff, that's why I'm not a trouble listen. That didn't make a lot of money.
I'm Francis Ford Coppola. You got to announce who you're doing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that helps.

Speaker 1 After the fact. Now, you see here, Al Pacino, the studio wants you out of here, but I want to bat for you.
I'm Francis Ford Coppola.

Speaker 2 I tell you, boy. Now, listen, boy, for catering, we got five Triscuits in a Slim Jim, and that's because we ran out of money.

Speaker 1 Keep talking. Hey,

Speaker 2 good guy. What a good guy.

Speaker 1 What's that, young guy? I know. That's why

Speaker 2 I had some life in me.

Speaker 1 snl hadn't beaten the out of me yet this was my alternative choice

Speaker 2 that's my uh high school senior year that's where i look so different because i got my hair cut so short i didn't know it was me and i looked through the pictures and i go where's mine and they go this one i go that's not me hey hey my name's david spade would you like to go to the sadie hawkins dance with me i'm david spade look it says under it almost interesting

Speaker 1 That was the name of a book. Okay,

Speaker 1 you voice what you're thinking. I'll just move it.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's picture day. Luckily, I wore a suit.

Speaker 2 I didn't know, but I pleaded ignorance. And my hair is nicely blondish.

Speaker 2 And I was probably thinking of if I was going to the football game that weekend and who I would ask to the prom that would try to get out of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know what you'd be thinking right then. Well, it's not my best picture, but I'm begging.
I'm i'm begging ignorance

Speaker 1 i'm pleading oh pleading shit me with a brick

Speaker 1 i hate when a joke up okay i got one more topic for you and then i have one topic before we get into

Speaker 1 sports betting scandal oh this is the big story this is big set the table

Speaker 2 we don't need to oh i will oh me uh you're closer to the gambling you're no you're closer to basketball but But yesterday a story blew up when I was flying back from Minneapolis. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 I mean, it was pretty big. It was on everywhere.
And it was about sports betting. You know more.
A lot of players involved. Some coaches.
Go.

Speaker 1 Yes. There's Terry Rosier,

Speaker 1 Chency Billups are kind of.

Speaker 2 Chauncey Billops, sure.

Speaker 1 Chauncey. Chauncey, the coach, and all NBA player.
Apparently, again, innocent until proven guilty. Apparently, one of the things they would do is they got him with the mafia.
Hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 Hey, Jenzi, guess what? We got some high rollers here from Indonesia. And they like, hey, like playing poker with a celebrity.
So why don't you come in? So apparently, the mob got to them.

Speaker 1 They set up these special tables with listening devices, cameras, all kinds of high-tech stuff.

Speaker 2 Cheater stuff.

Speaker 1 Yes, so that our guy would win. That's one.
And then one player, potentially, if innocent or proven guilty,

Speaker 1 would also in games, bet on games and then fake an injury. So he'd go out of the game.
He could sort of turn the game

Speaker 1 for points and stuff. And that guy was making $26 million a season at the time.
So you ask yourself,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 why, why, why? But here's the thing. You know, and I know.
that you can bet on anything in Las Vegas. It's hysterical.
You can bet on anything. And

Speaker 1 I'll be just totally transparent, but we can say to each other now that we've never spoken about this. It's completely on the up and up.

Speaker 1 But you can take the high and the low on stand-up sets in Vegas. Now with you,

Speaker 1 it was an over and an under. Like, I bet if David would, in a, in his set, would get more than 60 laughs, and I bet that, then I win a two to one or less than 60.
So I've made a small fortune.

Speaker 1 Normally, I'll just be totally honest, taking the under that you would get less than 60 laps per set. And I made a fortune.

Speaker 2 Well, what if they say, okay, me and Nikki go.

Speaker 1 Pleading ignorance.

Speaker 2 We're at Caesar's Palace and they could bet on if Nikki's wearing a skirt or pants.

Speaker 1 Right. You can make a bet on that.

Speaker 1 I've made money on that.

Speaker 2 You could say, what's the over-under on how long Spade will do? Will he do an hour, under an hour, 40, 48? Bet the exact number.

Speaker 2 Starts when he walks out when you see him.

Speaker 1 Those are bets.

Speaker 1 I once,

Speaker 1 well, I think it was 100 grand

Speaker 1 that you would say,

Speaker 1 bitch, be smoking hot during your set. And you did.

Speaker 2 I did. I said it too much, that's sure.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 I said,

Speaker 2 I bet Dana that he would say,

Speaker 2 he would look off to the side of the stage and say,

Speaker 2 How much time do I have left with these idiots?

Speaker 2 And then someone would yell 25, and you go, F word.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I heard on the down low that you and Tim Meadows got a little couple pops in you.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And bet

Speaker 1 that I wouldn't say, Well, isn't that special during my set? And you lost your bet.

Speaker 1 Well, isn't that special?

Speaker 2 We thought you would accidentally say, Well, isn't that interesting? Because have you ever done a bit like I did this weekend,

Speaker 2 and there was one word in it, and I couldn't remember it. And I just skimmed over it.
I'm like, what is going on?

Speaker 2 I don't, there's the one word that was a key word, and I skimmed it, and I'm like, it just doesn't pop in your head. It's so weird.
It's so stressful.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's just a sinking feeling when you realize you got a five-minute bit. Like, I have this thing about flying on Irish Airways.
And if I skip this one piece early on, you go, do I go?

Speaker 1 It doesn't make sense. Can I go back and pick it up? Yeah.
It's not making sense. Or do I confess to the audience I got confused, which normally the route I take? You know, I go, oh, I fucked that up.

Speaker 2 God,

Speaker 2 I said the wrong punchline and then I backed up and said the right one.

Speaker 1 And they were like, oh.

Speaker 2 And it was so, I didn't even say it. I go, oh, I did that wrong.

Speaker 1 God dang it.

Speaker 2 of a sudden, they were like, fuck, what an amateur hour.

Speaker 1 That's, I love the audience.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 2 I don't get the punchlines that you're doing right.

Speaker 1 Hey, one time I was up there and I got a little confused and I'm going Garth and Hans and Franz. All of a sudden, I'm doing this bit that is killing about watching porn on airplanes.

Speaker 1 And I'm going and it's killing and roars of laughter. And I go, oh my fucking God, I'm doing spades bit

Speaker 1 so i waited till i killed the whole thing i said i'm sorry ladies and gentlemen i just that was a complete mental

Speaker 1 i remember because you pled ignorance pled it what did i say are you

Speaker 2 uh pleading ignorance that's your thing

Speaker 2 also on the basketball scandal seancy phillips is in the hall of fame I heard today they're saying, could they take that away from him if they find him guilty? Right now, it's apparently and also

Speaker 2 uh rosier is that his name terry terry terry rozier i believe okay r-o-c-i-e-r they said he was because coaches can take a guy out and say he'll play less rosier maybe i don't know so the coaches can look at that kind of fix it by saying he'll play less bet the under of how long he plays or something And this is the this is Terry saying he fixed games.

Speaker 2 Watch how funny this is. Okay, let me see.

Speaker 1 So what number is he?

Speaker 2 So, there he is, accidentally dropping it, gives it to the other team. Here's a shitty pass.
Let me see. Oops to that guy.

Speaker 2 He makes a basket. So, he's in the black.
Now, next pass. Oops to the other guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 He keeps throwing it. Bad

Speaker 1 to the other team. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Airball to the other team.

Speaker 2 I mean, you could watch a game and go, God, he's having an off night.

Speaker 1 Or.

Speaker 1 Well, before the coach would take you out, if it's crunch time right at the end and the over and under is three look at that over the basket

Speaker 1 you know

Speaker 1 look all i can say is i don't understand

Speaker 2 i mean you don't understand

Speaker 2 when you're making 26 million what do you why he would do this if it's true yes i i mean i think there's a feeling that it's so competitive Someone says, are you addicted to gambling?

Speaker 2 They're like, I'm addicted to competing. So they want to gamble so they can beat someone.

Speaker 1 Right. Well, Michael Jordan's famous for that.
Charles Barkley.

Speaker 1 They would, they would, oh, so it's terrible. I disagree with everything those guys are doing.

Speaker 1 Charles Buckley.

Speaker 1 It's terrible.

Speaker 1 Terrible.

Speaker 1 That's all you have to say.

Speaker 2 That's all I have.

Speaker 1 But yeah, innocent of Provengille, but it's an amazingly, it looks like a very big scandal.

Speaker 2 Big story for sure. Okay, here's a smaller story.
We don't have to have an emergency.

Speaker 1 Not an emergency.

Speaker 2 But friend of the show, Aniston, Jennifer Aniston, said, Jen. I saw a couple of these interviews this week.

Speaker 2 So she turned down SNL when she, before landing friends, and she has a funny way to explain it. She felt the sketch at the sketch show was very male-dominated.

Speaker 2 And when she auditioned before Friends, she met with Lauren. She said this on Dax's

Speaker 2 podcast. She thought, she goes, I always thought I was such hot shit, which is funny to say.

Speaker 2 And she said,

Speaker 2 she would love to ask Lauren how it went because she said she ran into me and Sandler in the room right outside.

Speaker 2 And I knew her briefly because her mom lived in my

Speaker 2 apartments complex next to me. So she goes, my daughter's an actress.
My daughter, your mom was sweet. And then I'd see Jennifer and I was like, oh, that is your daughter.
So now

Speaker 2 she had a self-righteous attitude and she didn't like the way women were treated on the show. She said, if it was back when it was the Guild or Radner days, it would be better, you know?

Speaker 2 So she said she was sort of like just passing. By the way, without friends, kind of ballsy of her to say.
I think she's admitting it was ballsy to say

Speaker 2 she wouldn't do it. Like, why would you pass on SNL?

Speaker 1 That's cool. I like someone who has confidence in themselves before they.
But what had she done?

Speaker 1 Here's my two questions did you what who were the women on the show at that time was it 95 was it julia sweeney

Speaker 1 it was probably 91 so i was there then maybe jan maybe because she got friends right around then well let's look let's hey can we find out when she got on friends yeah because this

Speaker 2 friends was about 92 because she blew up so fast

Speaker 2 But I thought it was a little bit more. Her father was a soap opera actor, and they said she was a Nepo baby.

Speaker 1 94.

Speaker 1 I don't think.

Speaker 2 So it was like maybe you were gone.

Speaker 1 Maybe I left in 93 because I think I would have got up in her grill a little bit, you know, just my nature. Go, listen, man, you got this.

Speaker 1 Don't you walk away, woman. Don't you walk away from me?

Speaker 1 I would have schooled her a little bit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think she admitted it was weird. I mean, luckily she landed on her feet, but it was, it's a tough situation for all these people that are trying to get on SNL, especially then.

Speaker 1 That was a big deal.

Speaker 2 she had done Ferris Bueller's Day Off the TV show because she did it with okay, so she,

Speaker 1 yeah, and she, she had a, she had a pop. I mean, obviously, we saw it on French.
She's very, she, she had, she was very gonna make it because, uh, just charismatic, charismatic, but look at this.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'll tell you, I'll tell you this right now. Um,

Speaker 1 SNL is great. It's just generally for most people a launching pad.
You, she couldn't have gotten anything more spectacular than what she did.

Speaker 2 In history up.

Speaker 1 Except unless you didn't want to be that famous. But it was, it was with Seinfeld, they were the 90s and that was, you know, so

Speaker 2 not much bigger sitcoms as far as money making.

Speaker 2 Seinfeld, friends,

Speaker 2 cheers, maybe.

Speaker 1 I don't know if they got to that level, but I remember hearing, I heard it at some point

Speaker 1 that everyone knows this. The friends, that was six people, were going to be favored nations.
No one was going to negotiate separately. So they eventually started going, Give us each

Speaker 1 a million dollars an episode for each of us. And they got it.

Speaker 2 When they got a hundred thousand episode, everyone freaked out. Also, who were the three that they wanted to pay, and who were the three that they said they weren't going to pay?

Speaker 2 And that's why they banded together.

Speaker 1 Oh, you got me.

Speaker 2 I had heard this question, and someone just guessed.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to call it right now. 26 minutes in we have we are just in the emergency podcast

Speaker 2 this is the part of the show

Speaker 1 we would have come in to give you this answer you've just entered the emergency podcast zone zone

Speaker 2 oh i think

Speaker 2 aniston

Speaker 2 i think courtney because she was the biggest star at the time when they started she was the biggest star in the world and i think swimmer because swimmer was in like a love story with aniston on the show and he was very valuable and it was a ross and Rachel was peaking.

Speaker 2 I think that makes sense to me. They all did a great job.
So I don't know.

Speaker 1 Here's a question I have for you. Please.

Speaker 1 Because it popped into my head. So you're going in those 90s and there's still syndication.
You get all your money, a million dollars an episode. Yay.
And that's your contract and you fulfill it.

Speaker 1 And then live streaming comes in. And the office and other ones, so did they get a piece of that, the actors, when they sold Friends? Friends is on live streaming.
There goes to Netflix.

Speaker 2 Reruns, yes.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 2 I think they say they average 20 million a year, shockingly. That's about the most anyone could ever get.

Speaker 1 And this is in the 90s, late 90s.

Speaker 2 I think up until a couple of years ago, like they said.

Speaker 1 Oh, just from all the live streaming,

Speaker 2 all the horseshit. Yeah.
Reruns.

Speaker 2 TBS and HBO buys that are Netflix.

Speaker 1 Can I be a little envious? Is it okay? It's just bad.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm sickened by it. It's hard to get out of bed.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, what? I wish I'd gotten a funny voice on The Simpsons.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 You know, hi, I'm Mailbox. You know, I got one voice.
Mailbox Manny.

Speaker 1 Hey, everybody. I'm your local treasure secretary.
And you're in the Secret Life of Pets.

Speaker 1 You were, weren't you? One and two.

Speaker 1 And then I am on the ride. The rides make more than the movies, but I don't get a piece of the ride.
Yeah, over time,

Speaker 1 I'm the dog yelling at you when you're coming in in the little cart.

Speaker 1 I'm going, don't go in here. You know, it's the grumpy old man who's a dog with no with wheels for hind legs.

Speaker 2 All right, let's look at a few stories unless you have any more.

Speaker 1 No, I just have answers, but I was grateful for that question.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 2 Oh, this is the U.S. announces seventh-generational fighter jets have seventh-generation fighter jets have been begun their operational testing.
Let's take a look at the new planes.

Speaker 4 United States of America officially admitted

Speaker 4 that the seventh generation fighter jet has entered the real world verification phase. They didn't disclose the model number.
They didn't show the exterior. Only one sentence.

Speaker 4 It can end a war without opening the weapons bag.

Speaker 4 what does that mean a fully ai controlled combat platform can strike leave the battle zone and even change the enemy's data chain before the other side realizes it's there not only is it stealthy it can even fool enemy radar and satellites creating false target images and disrupting the entire airspace this is not an air superiority fighter nor is it a bomber but an intelligent

Speaker 4 integrates command jamming

Speaker 4 and surveillance it doesn't even need human pilots the

Speaker 1 We're not going to need human pilots. The only thing that makes me feel a little strange about this, because I'm up late at night.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the president of China Yi and, of course, Putin are huge fans of this podcast. So didn't they just get the whole enchilada laid out? So we should be careful what you're sharing.

Speaker 2 I know what they comment on. I know their fake name when they leave comments all the time on the YouTube.

Speaker 2 I know which one's Zhi, Shi, and which one's Putang.

Speaker 1 Put the tang. Listen to me.
Listen to me. Oh, one thing I wanted to mention: how funny it is that Trump just demolished half the White House.

Speaker 1 We've got to take it down. We're taking it down.
We're taking it down. It's going to be.
It's nice to take things down, isn't it? It's a good thing. People like it when you take things down.

Speaker 1 We're taking it down. We're chopping it in two.
You're going to have a bonfire that no one else is. Beep, beep.

Speaker 1 Dumping garbage.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I guess they're fixing the White House all the time. If I was him, I just wouldn't bother.
Like, how long are you going to be there?

Speaker 1 Well, he and some friends paid for it. It's like a rental.
It's 300. He wants to say the Donald J.
Trump Ballroom forever. It's going to have my name in gold.
My name in gold. It's going to be in the

Speaker 1 monkeys with the symbols.

Speaker 2 He's like, when they have the, when people come into waltz, it's like, who's in a ballroom anymore?

Speaker 1 I like funky. It's simple.

Speaker 1 Clang, clang, clang. I gotta take it down.
We're taking it down. It's a good thing.
We're taking it down. People like what we're taking down.
We're gonna take it down.

Speaker 2 Is he gonna have any parties there? Is it all like just?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's gonna be like gone with the wind. Wow, Miss Scarlett, may I have this dance with you? It's gonna

Speaker 2 be, let's do the minuet.

Speaker 2 That's an old dance.

Speaker 1 The minuet. Well, that's you know, back to our story.
as people are hanging with us, folks.

Speaker 2 No one knows what we're talking about.

Speaker 1 There won't be pilots very soon. Of course, it's going to all be AI.
They can react, and we're going to jam things.

Speaker 1 Look, we spend a trillion on defense.

Speaker 2 A trill.

Speaker 1 That's 18.

Speaker 1 War department. Okay, a trillion down there.
What kind of aircraft do you get for that much money?

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 2 my Southwest flight plane costs at least $100,000 for the whole thing, all in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had a corporate date, and I thought, well, maybe I'll try to lease a private jet, but it was,

Speaker 1 I would, I would have to take out a loan against my house to pay for the jet. It's a joke.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 We have a shortage of private jets in America. There's so many rich people now that they can't make them fast enough.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 2 that's the one thing where if you ever use it,

Speaker 2 it's not an investment you don't get that money back so that's when you land you feel sick it's like blowing money on cocaine or something you're like so i got here it's over the ride is over

Speaker 1 and i spent all that money i know when you come off southwest and you go geez 88 bucks yeah you spent 88 000 you're like and i'm in the same place and it's like yeah i can get an extra shrimp cocktail tonight because i saved money

Speaker 1 i'm going to the sphere pretty soon hopefully what are you talking about? For what? Well, I'm going in Vegas and I have an afternoon off.

Speaker 1 There's a five o'clock matinee and they're playing the Wizard of Oz.

Speaker 2 Are you going to do that one? Oh, I want to hear the whole review.

Speaker 1 I guess you're inside the Wizard of Oz.

Speaker 1 You're inside June Garland's dress. Yeah, I know.
No, I'm riding in the basket with Toto.

Speaker 2 You get on the witch's broom.

Speaker 1 We represent the Lollipop Guild. I'm one of those guys.

Speaker 2 I haven't seen that movie since I was four.

Speaker 1 Terrified. I want to hear it.

Speaker 2 The sphere is a big question. They're having no doubt coming up.
And people are like, is No Doubt big enough

Speaker 2 or is the sphere the story? Is that

Speaker 2 70% of why you go?

Speaker 1 I think if

Speaker 1 a monkey's

Speaker 1 fake band went in there, you'd sell it out. I believe it's like an audio visual, a four-dimensional.

Speaker 1 There's rain coming down and wind and you're in seats, and you kind of feel like you're going to fall. And every seat has, they're already building more of them.

Speaker 1 They're building, you know, one in China and one in China.

Speaker 2 I think there's one in Dubai, too, I heard.

Speaker 2 I agree. I went to it once.
And

Speaker 1 you threw it.

Speaker 2 During you two, there were no monkeys, and I was sad. There was no witches.
There was no nothing. I'm like, what are we doing?

Speaker 1 I think movies getting immersed. I'd like to see 2001 in there.

Speaker 2 You know.

Speaker 2 Hi, Dana. This is your favorite movie.

Speaker 1 Open the bathroom door, Spade. Open the bathroom door.

Speaker 2 I can't do it, Dana.

Speaker 1 You know the drill.

Speaker 2 I'm pleading ignorance.

Speaker 1 As a kid, we used to do that. As a young man with my friends when they were stoned, I would do, open the bathroom door, Pal.
Hal. What's he supposed to say?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that.
I can't do that, Dave.

Speaker 2 Because Hal turns on him, right? Is it AI?

Speaker 1 Hal, open the bathroom door.

Speaker 1 Sorry, Dave.

Speaker 2 All right. Raise your voice.

Speaker 1 All right. I'll go through the urinal.

Speaker 1 That'll be very difficult, Dave.

Speaker 2 You could pee your pants, Dana.

Speaker 1 Have you seen the movie?

Speaker 2 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 I think I'm getting it wrong. No, it's actually fine.
It's actually pretty good. I just can't imagine you sitting for a four-hour movie with no real plot.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's a plot, but it's

Speaker 1 a spirit joke.

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Speaker 2 All right, cold mornings, holiday plans, endless to-do lists.

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Speaker 1 Makes sense.

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Speaker 2 Next story. Here we go.
Clip before we wrap up.

Speaker 2 Man was discovered to be unknowingly missing 90% of his brain, yet lived a normal life.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 Do we need our brains? Is this a big scam?

Speaker 1 We don't, I think, we'd have to look it up. I think we use maybe 10% of it, really.
And this looks like this guy nailed the 10%.

Speaker 2 There's a condition known as what the fuck is going on?

Speaker 2 No, that's not the real one. It's called a hydrocephalus.

Speaker 2 Sounds dirty.

Speaker 1 Well, they interviewed this guy,

Speaker 1 you know, perfectly.

Speaker 1 I thought it was really interesting because how did you do this with 90% of your brain missing? And the guy was quoted saying, I with their normal life. I

Speaker 2 Jesus, doesn't sound that smart.

Speaker 1 But he was he led a normal life.

Speaker 2 He rattles his head like a paint can when he moves around.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wouldn't part of your brain be so light without the brain in it, your skull would just be tilted over?

Speaker 2 That's what Ozempic does. He erases 90% of your brain.

Speaker 1 Apparently, allegedly. Now, I understand that you have only 10% of your brain.
Your words, not mine. Uh-oh.
And that makes for what we call a stupid person.

Speaker 2 That makes sense to you?

Speaker 1 Makes sense. Did I get that right?

Speaker 1 I'm just punchy. I can't.

Speaker 2 I love it. Okay, one more, and then we'll go.

Speaker 1 Punchy. Give me something good.

Speaker 2 Give me a good one. Don't come on.

Speaker 1 Give it to me. Good and hard.
All right. I don't know if this is going to be it, but okay.
Let's see.

Speaker 2 It's people. Oh,

Speaker 2 this girl's juggling plastic bags you get from like Ralph's.

Speaker 2 I bet I could do that. I could do that.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 2 Oh, she's got her buddy. I couldn't do that.
We couldn't do that, Dana.

Speaker 1 Getting more sophisticated.

Speaker 2 Maybe next week I'll try to do that.

Speaker 1 Let's see a razzle dazzle dog. Give me a closer.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 How are they doing?

Speaker 2 Oh, he's got them.

Speaker 1 It's a smart thing because these things kind of float. So they stay where you can grab them.

Speaker 1 You have a space to grab them. It's a tennis ball.

Speaker 2 It's hard, though, but they're bigger than a tennis ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're kind of float, but they get really hard to move.

Speaker 2 So if you grab it wrong, it's over.

Speaker 1 Right. You got to space them and separate them.

Speaker 2 You got to keep them full of air so you can't grab them too hard or you squish all the air out.

Speaker 1 Now, you have what I like to call too much time on your hands when you're taking plastic wrappers and juggling them all day long.

Speaker 2 Heather, let's get some multicolored plastic bags so I can show the world how good I am. I can do this trick.

Speaker 2 On it. On it.

Speaker 1 David Donnelly shocks the world.

Speaker 2 I can juggle, though, Dana. Don't, I kid you not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm sure you can.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been seen juggling? No. Did you ever do it on a TV show? No.
Have you done it in this podcast? No. But I'm sure you can juggle.
Just no one's ever seen you juggle.

Speaker 2 Have you been accused of recently pleading ignorance? Yes.

Speaker 1 I'll say you do juggle like this: you go to a stand-up date, you do the podcast, you go to Koi, you go back to the play.

Speaker 1 You juggle your life.

Speaker 2 I juggle my schedule.

Speaker 2 Okay, I will film myself juggling and we'll play it next week. We might have to have an emergency one, though.

Speaker 1 If you can do that well,

Speaker 1 I'm going to give you multiple hundred dollar bills.

Speaker 2 Did you ever give anything what's in the box behind you?

Speaker 1 That's still

Speaker 1 for the end of the season. There is something in that big season during sweeps.
If anyone can guess it, do you want? I mean, I think it's in there, but no, let's just leave it for next week.

Speaker 1 That's cliffhanger. That'll be an emergency one when we reveal that.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, I thought we did a really good job. I'm very proud of us.

Speaker 1 We covered a lot of ground, coppola, the betting. We did a little Trump Halloween.
um i thought we brought it today you really did good will it translate into

Speaker 1 smash that subscribe button

Speaker 2 yeah break your fucking finger on this on the like button subscribe i don't even know what they're supposed to do they do comment you don't have to tell them to say that oh boy but uh

Speaker 1 we got a lot of nice comments on isla fisher last week really oh she was fun she was fun definitely she was fun i don't look at the metrics because then i just cry myself to sleep metrics They're good.

Speaker 2 Okay, Dana, if I can, I'll have you on again next week.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Should I go black t-shirt or gray, green, black t-shirt?

Speaker 2 I will not wear another dark green, black, gray t-shirt.

Speaker 1 I'm going to shock the world.

Speaker 2 But don't our t-shirts look like slightly different color? Mine is not as black as yours.

Speaker 1 Okay, here we go. Here we go.

Speaker 2 I didn't want to get to this.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Whoops.

Speaker 2 Heather, can you see any difference in our t-shirts? His does look darker.

Speaker 1 Well, I do have a lighter, I have a black chair, but I have more, you know, you can see.

Speaker 2 Is this an optical illusion?

Speaker 1 Whoops. Oh, Jesus.
Not only tigers get out of that cages.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 2 That's a tiger.

Speaker 1 Whoops.

Speaker 2 All right, we'll come back with a big banger show next week.

Speaker 1 Just like this. And we're going to look like this.
We're going to talk like this. And I'm going to do this kind of things.
We're going to demolish the place.

Speaker 2 Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye.

Speaker 1 Goodbye.

Speaker 2 Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

Speaker 1 If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe.

Speaker 3 We're on video now.

Speaker 2 Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and the executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese-Dennis of Odyssey.

Speaker 1 Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.

Speaker 2 Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

Speaker 1 Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hilary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.

Speaker 2 Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com.
That's A-U-D-A-C-Y.com.