Heavy England shirts, absolute clinics & Club World Cup curiosity levels

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Speaker 10 I'm sorry, sorry, you can sit there and look and play with all your silly machines as much as you like.

Speaker 11 Is Gas going on out of crack?

Speaker 2 Yes, you know.

Speaker 12 Oh, I say.

Speaker 2 Brilliant!

Speaker 2 But jeez!

Speaker 2 He's round the goalkeeper. He's done it!

Speaker 2 Absolutely incredible! He launched himself six feet into the crowd and kung fu kicked a supporter who was

Speaker 2 without a shadow of a doubt giving him lip. Oh, I say!

Speaker 13 It's amazing! He does it tame and tame and tame again. Break up the music! Charge a glass!

Speaker 13 This nation is going to dance all night!

Speaker 13 The England shirt weighing heavy against Senegal. A welcome refresher course on the correct emphasis for the word to describe the main person in a band.

Speaker 13 George Hurst mixes his metaphorical goal scoring relief. Claudio Ranieri won.
Irresistible pre-World Cup narrative nil. Clubs eyeing potential transfer targets.
An unprecedented booing conundrum.

Speaker 13 Cash versus curiosity as the Club World Cup looms. Players putting on an absolute clinic and Kevin Pressman's 1998 car chase.
Brought to your ears by Goal Hanger Podcasts. This is Football Clichés.

Speaker 13 Hello everyone and welcome to Football Clichés. I'm Adam Hurry.
I'm joined by Charlie Eccleshaire.

Speaker 14 How are you doing?

Speaker 13 Very well, thank you. Alongside you is David Walker.
How are you doing?

Speaker 15 I'm very good.

Speaker 13 Excellent. I'm really excited for tonight, as this podcast goes out, in Leeds.
Doors will open for Cliché's quiz live at 7pm. The quiz will start at 8pm.
So plenty of time to get settled.

Speaker 13 Dave, we've got a great quiz planned. We have.

Speaker 16 Yeah, really looking forward to it. Good to return to Leeds, which is turning into something of a happy hunting grounds for us after a rocky start.

Speaker 13 And turn things around in Leeds.

Speaker 16 I think we're going to have a lot of fun up there.

Speaker 16 And as we mentioned the other day, obviously we've got the live tour coming up, but we plan to do a lot more of of these quizzes around the country so if you if you if you haven't made the cut for the full clichés live show fear not because you'll probably get a clichés quiz in your town and as Dave mentioned clichés is going live in 2025 we're in Brighton the Hackney Empire in London Birmingham Dublin Manchester Leeds and Glasgow and potentially Cardiff as well.

Speaker 13 We are in advance talks over that one.

Speaker 13 We should be good as well.

Speaker 14 Documents being prepared. Yeah.

Speaker 13 we're at that stage uh dreamland subscribers you should now have been emailed your exclusive pre-sales link that will run until friday morning so jump in there uh if you want to get in on the act uh everybody else um Friday 10 a.m.

Speaker 13 general sale I will give it the big promo so you'll know exactly where to go dreamland subscribers for £5.99 a month you will get that pre-sales access for all future live shows at free listening and free entry to cliches quiz live events and of course two episodes a month of dreamland our exclusive new show.

Speaker 13 But back to regular matters now, the adjudication panel. England won Senegal 3 on Tuesday night, Dave.

Speaker 13 If you could assume your England pod hat and can give us a 20-second sincere rundown of what it feels like.

Speaker 16 It's amazing just how quickly it's taken for all the usual suspects to kind of just slip back into the, oh, the shirt weighs too heavy on them.

Speaker 13 I saw so much shirt weighs so heavy.

Speaker 2 It's insane.

Speaker 13 Charlie, of all the games for the England shirt to weigh heavy, do you think it weighed heavy against Senegal at the city graft

Speaker 13 in the tiny amount of time between the season and the club World Cup? I reckon it did. I reckon that's the lightest the England shirt could possibly be.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I think the opposite.

Speaker 20 I think they just really didn't, really didn't want to be there.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that's fine.

Speaker 23 From a just desperate for the season to be done point of view.

Speaker 16 I did have someone, a mate of mine who was at the game, he messaged me beforehand and went, mate, I've lumped on Senegal that they don't look at it in the warm-up.

Speaker 16 England. They don't look at it.

Speaker 16 They're all just trotting about. Don't look like they can't be asked.

Speaker 13 On that note, Charlie, one listener whose name I slipped my mind sent in a summary of the games, and one pundit said that Senegal simply wanted it more, which you don't want to see that in an international friendly game.

Speaker 13 That should never be cited as a thing. It's an indictment of England, clearly.

Speaker 23 It's probably the time when it most is accurate, though, or does make a difference.

Speaker 26 So there are going to be some friendly games where one team is really up for it, another just really doesn't care.

Speaker 13 So the bottom end of sort of of motivation should actually be more significant, do you reckon? Like that's where the real difference will come in.

Speaker 12 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 20 Who wanted it less?

Speaker 13 You see Tukel calling it a test match.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 13 that was very Bob Bradley, wasn't it?

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 13 That's not going to go down well.

Speaker 29 Is that it then?

Speaker 30 Have they got any more games?

Speaker 23 Is there another one on the weekend or is that

Speaker 16 the camp over till the next game for England will be at Villa Park and Dora in September?

Speaker 13 A classic sort of snapshot of the kind of slight futility of this really brief England camp at a stage of the season where nobody gives a shit, Dave, was the chat at the start of the second half about why he hadn't brought on Ivan Toney

Speaker 13 in the second game of the two, so he hadn't had a chance to see him out on the pitch. And I think one of the pundits said, oh, well, have you seen him in training?

Speaker 31 And then the others went, well, what good is that?

Speaker 13 And then just thought, ah, the whole thing's so futile. What are you possibly going to learn about Ivan Toney in any scenario over the last sort of week or so.

Speaker 13 I mean, it really just sums up the whole... I don't want to say futility of international football, but just like it's the smallest sample size you could possibly imagine, isn't it?

Speaker 16 Yeah, you know, it just kind of doesn't matter. The World Cup is literally a year or a year away.

Speaker 16 One year, as we record today, the World Cup will start. So there's plenty of time.

Speaker 15 Yes, we do look quite bad at the moment, but it's going to be alright, isn't it?

Speaker 32 Probably.

Speaker 24 Given how much will happen between now and then, I wonder what chance there is, genuinely, of this game being referred to, or there being any significance.

Speaker 35 I mean, could be there could be there could always be a oh it was actually the Senegal game wasn't it that we saw he didn't trust Trent or something that's where it started.

Speaker 13 Lots of tenuous bigger picture stuff going on in the fallout to this game but I want to focus on this. Charlie you may remember a debate we had on this podcast

Speaker 13 fairly long time ago about what circumstances a co-commentator might say, yeah, but he won't mind that, about talking about a player who's sort of scored a slightly scruffy goal.

Speaker 13 So what would be the classic, he won't mind that? Yeah, we talked about it, didn't we, we, in relation to Mbappe?

Speaker 36 Is it against City?

Speaker 17 He scored like a complete scuff,

Speaker 24 which would have been in what, February.

Speaker 21 But he won't mind that.

Speaker 34 Yeah, I think it's one where you haven't caught it well at all.

Speaker 20 Um, it might even have just hit you. You know, it doesn't look very aesthetically pleasing, but they won't mind about that.

Speaker 13 And is there an upper limit to this phenomenon, Dave? I mean, like, let's say it's a cast iron-owned goal and it's completely ruined.

Speaker 13 You know, you know, it's taken a goal off your tally or something like that. Would that still qualify as he doesn't mind? He won't mind that because, you know, still still got the goal?

Speaker 13 Or is that a little bit too over the edge?

Speaker 16 Well, it depends a little bit on the type of situation. Jamie Donnelly's goal for Leighton Orient against Man City.
Like,

Speaker 16 he probably did mind that.

Speaker 15 It went down as an own goal.

Speaker 20 He won't mind that. He minded it a lot.

Speaker 13 Yeah, he couldn't use it.

Speaker 16 Brendan Johnson in the Europa League final. Was that an owned goal or not?

Speaker 22 You know, no one really cares because he won't mind that.

Speaker 33 Yeah, he won't mind.

Speaker 23 Yeah, he hasn't caught that very clear, but he won't mind about that.

Speaker 13 I mean, that's absolutely textbook, isn't it? The scenario, the execution, everything.

Speaker 13 Anyway, here is Lee Lee Dixon on England's opening goal after Edward Mendy parried an Anthony Gordon shot straight to the feet of Harry Kane.

Speaker 18 One of the things that will never go away from his game is the fact that he stays in between the posts and he picks goals like this up.

Speaker 18 Same the other night.

Speaker 18 Just right on the edge of being offside. The arms go up.

Speaker 18 Save's not the best, but he won't mind. It's just on a plate for him.

Speaker 13 It's not Harry Kane's job to mind about Edwin Penby's safe. It doesn't come into it.
I don't want to pick on Lee Dixon, but this is an important point for us to classify.

Speaker 13 Charlie, that should not be factored into the he won't mind that scenario.

Speaker 23 No, but you do quite often hear that with something like, you know, it's awful defending, but he won't care about that.

Speaker 2 Oh, you know,

Speaker 23 but you should, like, it's not.

Speaker 20 I don't, you know, why would he?

Speaker 33 But I do think this does come into it fairly. Or, like, oh, it's a, it's just awful communication, but he won't care.

Speaker 13 Yeah, this was just my favourite bit of the game, Dave, to be honest. Slim pickings.
Right, moving on. Uh, this came from Charlie Eccleshare, actually.

Speaker 13 It's from the Today programme on Radio 4, an issue first discussed on this podcast back in August 2020. And here it comes again.

Speaker 13 And I was actually really confused about what I felt about it again, so good to have a refresher course.

Speaker 41 Sting has announced a significant donation to the Baltic Contemporary Arts Centre in Gateshead, telling the BBC the northeast of England has been neglected by successive governments for decades.

Speaker 41 The police frontman grew up near nearby Wall's End and in an email conversation with our culture editor Katie Matt.

Speaker 13 I mean Charlie, you can see how this might have happened because it's obviously it's reading a script and if you see it in one word you're going to go for frontman aren't you?

Speaker 32 It really got me.

Speaker 22 Nearly spat out my cornflakes.

Speaker 38 Police frontman.

Speaker 13 I mean again it's such a subtle thing Dave that I did have to question myself.

Speaker 13 I had to ask at least one WhatsApp group. I'm like is it it is frontman, right? You would say frontman if you were ever to say it out loud but but I don't know.

Speaker 13 Frontman, i i mean again you can see how it's come about here i like it i like it we should stick with it you are frontman are you the football cliche's frontman

Speaker 13 yes yes i am thank you i own the intellectual property of the concept yes thank you it's fine it's right anyway right next up aiden mclaren and joe higgs got in touch about this here is george hurst speaking about scoring his first international goal in scotland's friendly win over lichtenstein george congratulations on the victory and first scotland goal how does it feel yeah great feeling.

Speaker 42 One that's always nice to sort of get out of the way early, I think, you know, sort of get that duck off the back.

Speaker 16 And,

Speaker 42 you know, to get that first goal is massive for me.

Speaker 13 But again,

Speaker 13 I love the melding together of cliches, Dave, and getting a duck off your back. I mean,

Speaker 13 at this point, you can just say it and we all know it.

Speaker 16 It's fine. Where's the monkey in this situation?

Speaker 14 He's often break his monkey.

Speaker 13 And that's a euphemism I won't be using. I mean, this is the beauty of sort of these sort of decorative clichés, Charlie.

Speaker 13 You can kind of just abuse them and it's fine because everyone will know what you mean. But the hesitation was perfect there because it's like, we've all done it.

Speaker 13 We haven't been able to find the words and we've just said what was uppermost in our brains.

Speaker 27 Yeah, I wonder if he then thought, oh,

Speaker 13 is that right? That sounded a bit wrong.

Speaker 23 Or maybe he's just always thought that.

Speaker 22 It works just as well.

Speaker 16 Pretty difficult for a duck to be on your back, though, I guess, wouldn't it? They're not particularly grippy, especially if they're on your shoulder.

Speaker 13 Albatross round the neck. But this reminds reminds me, Dave, of the French Open Final tennis at the weekend.

Speaker 13 The BBC live blogger thought Greg Rusecki had said, Come with the moment, come with the man.

Speaker 40 So this caused a real stir, you know, because Susie Dent got involved.

Speaker 23 Well, because Greg does, like, he couldn't have been stitched up any worse because he does have a bit of a habit of doing this kind of thing.

Speaker 34 So it was completely believable.

Speaker 16 You timmed Tim Edmond the other day as well.

Speaker 45 Don't leave us, Charlie.

Speaker 20 So, yeah, it was eminently believable.

Speaker 12 And I was really, I genuinely was really curious as to whether the blogger knew that what was being said was nonsense, but just wanted to put it out there and stitch him up, or whether he also thought it.

Speaker 36 And it turns out it was a third option that Rozetsky hadn't said it, and this guy had thought that's what the expression was.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I mean, yeah, cause a right stir. Laura Kirk tweeted this out and just thought, is this actually the way it's supposed to be said?

Speaker 13 And then Sam Munnery took on the solemn journalistic duty of going to find the audio about a minute before I did, just to check that Greg Rosetsky had said it in the traditional way.

Speaker 13 Either way, it wasn't on the hour mark of either the play time or the clock. But let's not get into that.

Speaker 36 Well, he went with moment, didn't he?

Speaker 23 He didn't go hour.

Speaker 39 Cometh the moment, cometh the man.

Speaker 39 I mean, I just wonder what did whoever wrote this thing, come with the moment, come with the man, meant?

Speaker 35 Like, it's utterly meaningless.

Speaker 13 Live blogging is a stressful job. It's essentially transcribing sometimes.
So everyone should get a break here. Let's stick with Scotland for a moment, Dave.

Speaker 13 The BBC highlights of their win against Liechtenstein. Inner-friendly, said,

Speaker 13 watch the highlights of Scotland ease past Lichtenstein. Additional tone says, can you ease past someone if you're not heading anywhere?

Speaker 13 Are you allowing this for a friendly? I mean, I know, again, this is very minor, but it's important.

Speaker 16 I see what he means, but I don't think, far be it from me, to be, to not go down a literal route, but I think it's fine.

Speaker 16 You know, it's not just a lot of people. It's all part of the overall journey.
Easing past them in the context of just the task in front of you, right?

Speaker 13 Well, yeah, I suppose, yeah, winning the game, I suppose. Is easing past them to win the game.
I think, Charlie,

Speaker 13 if they said that Scotland had brushed Liechtenstein aside, I think I'd be alright with that.

Speaker 37 That definitely works.

Speaker 24 I still think East Past is fine, really.

Speaker 21 I've never thought, I know what they're getting at.

Speaker 27 I've never thought of it particularly in that way.

Speaker 13 Secured safe passage to a win in a friendly. Sticking with international football, I was really disappointed by this because I thought it would have been a, narratively speaking, very tidy situation.

Speaker 13 But Claudio Ranieri, Charlie, has turned down the Italy job. I mean, for a World Cup story, for the preview writers, this would have been an absolute dream.

Speaker 13 I want to see him at a World Cup with a big lanyard around his neck.

Speaker 34 It kind of blew my mind seeing that this was actually a story.

Speaker 36 Like, I, you know, because him coming back to Roma was, like, almost crazy enough.

Speaker 21 Yes. He's very old.

Speaker 39 For them not for them not to have a better manager or is kind of crazy.

Speaker 36 I mean, he's 73.

Speaker 13 Had the biggest points per game towards the end of last season in Europe, though. So, or roundabouts.
So,

Speaker 13 still got it.

Speaker 16 Yeah, clearly. We can be forgiven for thinking that Ranieri had just kind of sauntered off into a sort of late career tour.

Speaker 16 I mean, look, given the bloke had a ridiculous three-month spell at Watford a few years ago. Yeah.
So this is something of a resurgence for him.

Speaker 16 But yeah, if he was at the World Cup, which obviously is the whole point of this thing, they might not qualify for the World Cup and they haven't qualified for the last two, but it would be great and it would almost be for him you've finally completed everything.

Speaker 16 Like, this is the only thing left for him to do.

Speaker 13 He's kind of really suited to doing an international tournament, Charlie.

Speaker 13 I can see Ranieri having that kind of anchilotti, sort of sub-anchilotti kind of temperament to dealing with sort of anything that comes at him.

Speaker 13 So even anchilotti in a major tournament feels absolutely fine to me. So I think Ranieri should follow suit.

Speaker 34 I mean, think how long ago, even like, he was at Fulham and had a pretty disastrous spell there.

Speaker 40 That was like six years ago.

Speaker 22 There have been like many, many iterations of him since. Like, it's quite hard to keep up.

Speaker 22 Yeah, I mean, like, he's the managed Watford since this is his second spell at Roma since then. Like, this is an incredible career.

Speaker 13 There must be people in Italy going, they could do worse. They could do worse than Claudio Ranieri on Talk Sporty.

Speaker 13 If his name was

Speaker 2 Clive Raymond,

Speaker 13 Is Clive Claudio? I don't know.

Speaker 35 Close enough.

Speaker 2 Claude. Bet that is

Speaker 28 Clive.

Speaker 35 Clive's better.

Speaker 2 Claude sounds too exotic.

Speaker 14 Excuse me.

Speaker 13 Oh, I'm a bit weaker communication panel. Right.
Next up, this came from Jack Benyon. Over to South America, we go.

Speaker 13 Here is Luis Diaz scoring against Argentina and the World Feed commentator squeezing in a very unexpected exclamation before continuing in a more traditional style.

Speaker 13 Good ball through for Luis Diaz. It's a good opportunity.
Luis Diaz one-on-one with Romeno. Luis Diaz still Diaz Diaz.

Speaker 2 Diaz Blimey Good.

Speaker 13 Now, you know, Charlie, I could go on about how incongruous the blimey sounds here, and it is truly wonderful.

Speaker 13 But, I mean, I don't know, if you think about it, maybe it's a bit like sort of those English terms that have crept into South American football, like, I don't know, Newell's old boys or O'Higgins from Ireland or something like that.

Speaker 13 I just, yeah, just a nice little touch.

Speaker 39 Alexis McAllister was probably playing that game.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 45 Blimey.

Speaker 20 Blimey.

Speaker 30 Yeah, no, I enjoyed that.

Speaker 16 Is this becoming a thing now? Because we had the Italian commentary a few weeks ago. It was like, not Italian, but it was sort of, it was like English, but with an Italian.

Speaker 16 And

Speaker 16 in an over-the-top Italian sort of, you know, manner of speaking. And this seems similar.
Were we getting these sort of like hybrid commentaries on the World Feed now?

Speaker 13 Do a job? They could just do a job for you. On the World Feed.
But yeah, Blimey. Blimey.
A footballer's names in Things brace for you now.

Speaker 13 This came from Theo Rowe, and I sense this player's name is going the way of Eddie Howe and being retired from this segment forever.

Speaker 13 Which former England goalkeeper features in this guaranteed summer banger from Shermanology X Green Velvet?

Speaker 13 Yeah, we can't have Joe Hart anymore, can we?

Speaker 13 That's it. It's too easy, but that's a triumphant final hurrah for Joe Hart in this segment.
Let's rescue things.

Speaker 13 This came from Sam Humphreys, who was listening to the No Such Thing as a Fish podcast. And he asks, which US-born ace saved the life of Andy Warhol?

Speaker 47 But he was taken to hospital. He had no signs of life.
And there was a sort of vascular surgeon in the room who said, hang on, I quite like the soup cans thing.

Speaker 47 I'm going to really try and sew this guy up.

Speaker 5 Not true. The doctor didn't know who it was.
They thought he was a random tramp.

Speaker 47 Oh, I thought they thought he was a tramp at first, and then they were told he was Warhol when they were operating.

Speaker 5 Although I'm not saying he wouldn't have operated on the random tramp, no, Giuseppe Rossi was the name of the surgeon. What a guy.

Speaker 2 This is enough.

Speaker 13 I hadn't heard that name for a while, actually.

Speaker 35 I wonder what happened to him. Nice.

Speaker 13 A couple of ACLs and he'd saved Andy Warhol's life.

Speaker 13 Fair play. Right.
This was just a classic, beautiful example of the subtle language of transfer speak, right in the middle of this mini transfer window.

Speaker 13 By the way, Charlie, can the mini transfer window that came before the Club World Cup slam shut if it's going to, if another one's going to open again? Is it the same window? Can we say slam shut?

Speaker 13 Or is it sort of, you know, just a little bit of a window?

Speaker 24 But again, if you're being literal about it, does slamming a window shut make it any harder to then quickly reopen?

Speaker 38 It doesn't stay more...

Speaker 23 closed.

Speaker 29 I mean, if it was like, it's locked.

Speaker 22 If at the end of the day we were talking about like locking a window and, you know, really boarding it up in August until January.

Speaker 17 But I think if you're being literal about it, it doesn't really, whether it's closed or slammed, you can still open it up again.

Speaker 13 What an unexpected and brilliant tribute to Keese's infamous tweet about that was, by the way.

Speaker 16 There was a half-hearted effort yesterday

Speaker 16 from Sky Sports, News, BBC to kind of make a bit of a thing about the transfer window. But it's like, I mean, even they couldn't really be art with it, could they, really? I mean, it's like, come on.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it is disappointing when football sort of faffs around and fudges something.

Speaker 16 It's like, come on.

Speaker 13 It's supposed to be the biggest sport in the world here we're talking about.

Speaker 13 Anyway, I saw this headline on ESPN. David said, sources, Man United focus on Umbermo.
I, Gyokares.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 18 What is the disappointment?

Speaker 13 I mean, eyeing,

Speaker 13 as I'm sure we all know, eyeing a player, that's non-committal, right? You're just interested.

Speaker 31 You're a suitor, which I hate, by the way.

Speaker 16 From across the room, you know, just giving them the eyes from a distance.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 13 But all their efforts clearly are focused on Umbermo, Charlie. But

Speaker 13 I mean, to the layman, there should be no difference between focusing and eye-ing, and yet there is.

Speaker 23 Eyeing is a really good one because it's so vague.

Speaker 17 It covers a lot, doesn't it?

Speaker 13 Is eyeing, Charlie, more intense interest than mulling over? But I suppose if you're mulling over a bid, that means you probably are interested in the player. So I guess that's more advanced.

Speaker 30 Yeah, if you're mulling over a bid,

Speaker 36 that's like a concrete step.

Speaker 33 Whereas eyeing means

Speaker 23 just they're sort of on your radar in a vague sense.

Speaker 13 It's ridiculous, like pathetic language, Dave.

Speaker 23 Would eyeing as well?

Speaker 31 Do you ever hear it not like on its own?

Speaker 21 I feel like it's always a

Speaker 39 supplementary thing.

Speaker 23 So you're talking about the main target. They're also eyeing a new centre-back.

Speaker 21 Oh, exactly.

Speaker 33 Or so-and-so.

Speaker 22 You rarely.

Speaker 13 I think it can live on its own.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 13 I think it's all right to eye a player in that sense.

Speaker 16 I think you'll probably find quite a lot of it in the BBC gossip column. You know, so it's not like a main story on its own, but it's like just a little line in a piece or something.
God.

Speaker 16 I saw one from David Ornstein the other day, which I I don't think I've seen before. And he tweeted out a story about Arsenal and Zubi Mendi.

Speaker 16 He said, Arsenal regard the Zubi Mendi deal as done, which is quite a strange way of putting it. They regard it as being done, but does everyone else?

Speaker 13 Yeah, that's the subtext of that, isn't it? Well, they think it's done, but little do they know.

Speaker 13 I think it's going to be alright. But yeah, that's it.
We're all running out of ways to express a deal. I mean, that deal's been going on for fucking ages, Charlie.
Can they just do it?

Speaker 13 I'm really bored of Zubimendi. I don't even know what he looks like.

Speaker 25 I remember in January, it was sort of, it was almost being talked about as done.

Speaker 33 Yeah. But for the summer.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 23 I think it's a PSR thing, isn't it?

Speaker 24 That's why it's going on till July.

Speaker 13 Also, you know, La Liga's absurd little technicality, whereas, Dave, if you pay a player's release clause, you don't pay it to the club. You have to go and pay it to La Ligue.

Speaker 13 You have to go to the offices and give them the money to release a player from his contract.

Speaker 2 It's mad. Yeah.

Speaker 33 Don't you contact the league?

Speaker 46 And then the league tells the club.

Speaker 22 They're like, what?

Speaker 37 Yeah, sorry.

Speaker 23 Don't want to tell you.

Speaker 22 They've just come and paid it to us.

Speaker 13 Big old suitcase. I'll look after that.
Yeah, it's fine. That's all right.
I'll make sure it.

Speaker 31 Yeah, I will. That's leave it here.
Right.

Speaker 13 Get a receipt. Nah.

Speaker 9 Right.

Speaker 31 This one came from Tom.

Speaker 13 It's superb. He says, I saw someone half-jokingly suggest that Liverpool fans should boo Pep Linders for joining Man City.
How would a crowd go about directing booze at an assistant manager?

Speaker 40 Well, they step forward, don't they?

Speaker 21 Yeah, like there'll be a moment, especially some of the more busy ones.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 20 You know, like Tyndall or someone would be easy easy to do, wouldn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 13 But it does need an obvious visual trigger, Dave. You can't just boo them when they sort of slowly walk out from a dugout.
It needs to be something a bit more...

Speaker 13 When they open up the laminated set piece folder, maybe.

Speaker 16 Yeah, if they're giving instructions to a substitute before they come on...

Speaker 13 Would they potentially...

Speaker 16 I don't know what Pep does in pre-game.

Speaker 16 Does Pep go out onto the pitch or does he leave it to his assistant?

Speaker 15 Because

Speaker 15 if it's Pep,

Speaker 16 is it Linda's or linders if the other pep is going out onto the pitch before the game maybe then but then there's not enough people in the stands to really

Speaker 13 boo during a warm-up could be it's so it's so intangible like there's not a focus that everyone has it would be a really hard thing to convey i mean crucially charlie the the recipient of the booze is going to need to be in in left in no doubt that he is the target so that's that's the problem how is he gonna know your best case would be game's dead and a sub substitution or something's happening and he steps forward and is quite prominent but i don't know how often that happens.

Speaker 13 Sound like you're booing the sub then.

Speaker 22 With your average assistant manager.

Speaker 13 Might as well be booing the fourth official.

Speaker 16 Yeah, exactly. What about if the ball somehow ends up at his feet in the technical area?

Speaker 2 Oh, that's good. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 13 Booed at every touch.

Speaker 2 Still got it.

Speaker 2 Doesn't still have it.

Speaker 13 Oh, we've done it. Tom, thanks for that.

Speaker 13 Finally, for part one.

Speaker 13 He's not blogging this summer. We know that.
He's sticking to it.

Speaker 13 He's on hiatus, But his tweets are still gold. Richard Keyes tweeting, £111 million spent so far this summer.
£4 million more equals £115. Spooky.
That's how many charges were levelled at City.

Speaker 13 No, wait. It was £135 in the end, wasn't it? Expect more signings as cities continue to thumb their nose at the PL.

Speaker 13 Spooky, Charlie.

Speaker 19 Well, yeah, I was going to say, with this, do you think he thought it was going to be £4 million more and was going to be

Speaker 35 £115?

Speaker 22 He was like, oh, that'll be be perfect. And it wasn't quite.

Speaker 35 I was like,

Speaker 21 it's fine.

Speaker 22 I'll still, they won't remember it.

Speaker 13 Still, they're going to spend four million pounds on Dave to make this credit.

Speaker 2 John Mackin or something get him back in.

Speaker 16 Have they signed a goalkeeper to replace Scott Carson yet? A good deal.

Speaker 31 Vicinelli's coming in for free.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 16 That's a shame. Oh, dear.

Speaker 37 I'd say four million is just about the least likely fee.

Speaker 2 I can't.

Speaker 40 Who was like, genuinely?

Speaker 23 Because I can imagine a one, two, or three for something like super cheap and like a 16-year-old scum.

Speaker 13 Yes, tribe.

Speaker 19 Maybe.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 28 it's got a situation.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Four million.

Speaker 13 Oh dear. Anyway, um, this episode of Football Cliches is brought to you in association with Saley, a new e-Sim service app from the creators of NordVPN.

Speaker 13 Listeners, if I had a pound for every time I found myself in a situation in a taxi after landing at a foreign airport, when I've instantly wanted to one, google a colloquial version of thank you very much, or two, quickly find the name of a slightly obscure cult hero who used to play for the club represented by the crest hanging from the driver's rear view mirror, I'd be very rich.

Speaker 13 This is when Saley would save the day. Before I leave the UK, I open up my Saley app, buy some data for my destination, so when I land, I'm connected to a safe and secure internet connection.

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Speaker 13 To try it out for yourself, you can download Saley in your app store and use our code cliches at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase. Full details are in our podcast description.

Speaker 13 Right, that's the end for part one. We'll be back very shortly.

Speaker 13 Welcome back to Football Clichés. We are just mere days away from the Club World Cup.

Speaker 13 Now, when we first approached this concept, Dave, it was very much in theory about what we might feel when it finally arrives. Well, it is pretty much upon us now.

Speaker 13 And why won't the Club World Cup feel like a proper World Cup? What are the obvious flaws here as we look ahead to kickoff?

Speaker 16 I think a big one is the time zone and the time difference. Because if it was

Speaker 16 the games were in a time zone where you could have the sort of standard kind of 1 p.m., 4 p.m., 7 p.m. kickoff or whatever, I could kind of get on board with that.

Speaker 16 I could get on board with like having a novelty game in the middle of the day, maybe watching a slightly bigger one in the evening. That rhythm's nice and familiar.

Speaker 16 But because this one is going to be, it's, I think it's

Speaker 16 five, eight and one.

Speaker 21 Eleven and one.

Speaker 44 Or eleven and one.

Speaker 15 Well, that's like the Brazil World Cup.

Speaker 13 Surely a distant time zone, Charlie, lends it the kind of exotic appeal that it needs.

Speaker 37 Brazil was a bit better.

Speaker 19 They didn't have many of those.

Speaker 37 There was that, I think, that first Saturday where they had like the only sort of

Speaker 13 one.

Speaker 23 Yeah, really late one.

Speaker 23 Generally, they were a bit better for Europe time zones.

Speaker 13 I mean, maybe

Speaker 13 my thoughts about this Club World Cup and why it won't have the same appeal as a World Cup, Dave, is that a World Cup has national intrigue.

Speaker 13 There are countries that you're curious about and you're curious that they've, where they've got their players from and brought them all together for one tournament.

Speaker 13 Clubs don't have that intrigue, I think. I think there's something inherently less pure about clubs versus countries.

Speaker 13 And I think, in the aggregate, that's going to lend itself less to a Club World Cup. It makes it less intriguing.
I think there is some intrigue.

Speaker 16 I think, like, I think the own, really, the only thing it does have going for it is a bit of intrigue on some of the names, some of the bigger names of the more exotic clubs that we do, you know, like Boca Juniors,

Speaker 16 Fluminenzi, like clubs that we have heard of, but almost everyone won't really have watched, ever play with any sort of detail. Like, how I'm interested to see how good they actually are.

Speaker 16 Like, what are they actually like? Is it going to be a big gap or is it going to be a bit closer than we think?

Speaker 15 So, I think there is some intrigue.

Speaker 13 I mean, that's a good point, actually, Charlie. I mean, it is good to benchmark sort of the levels of club football across the world and put them together.

Speaker 13 And a useful one for the old, but he's the best player in Europe, perhaps even the world.

Speaker 29 So

Speaker 13 I'm saying that finally.

Speaker 40 But I mean, broadly speaking, isn't there.

Speaker 36 I mean, they're completely incomparable.

Speaker 27 We're talking about like the best competition in the world against this load of crap.

Speaker 30 Isn't that I mean they're

Speaker 13 roughly analogous formats though they're the best

Speaker 13 formats in the world being put together in one tournament.

Speaker 23 But the World Cup is like rich with history and everyone like it's basically the best thing in football.

Speaker 35 This is a load of crap.

Speaker 13 Yeah, but of course but let's remember the motivation for creating this tournament. They're trying to transplant a World Cup into the club context and they think they also think that

Speaker 13 club football's consistently better than international football in terms of its intensity and quality. So maybe they think it's onto a winner.
So they are essentially trying to transplant the format.

Speaker 13 I realise there's no heritage. That's obvious.

Speaker 22 I mean, they may think that, but we're not like FIFA stooges who need to big this up.

Speaker 32 This isn't a FIFA.

Speaker 25 I can imagine like a FIFA podcast is saying, you know, this is

Speaker 12 comparable with the World Cup.

Speaker 22 It's basically the same thing.

Speaker 43 Yeah, well,

Speaker 13 we maintain some editorial independence here. We're not part of the zone zero with goal hanger, by the way.

Speaker 13 What highlights are we going to get? Auckland City.

Speaker 2 But like, I think most people, this is just, I mean,

Speaker 24 it's so patently a money grab.

Speaker 12 FIFA want to get a slice of the club pie and have put together this complete joke of a competition.

Speaker 13 You're going to be talking about player fatigue in a minute. No, come on.
But surely in this vacuum of heritage, Dave, what will get sucked in is just sheer curiosity.

Speaker 13 Like, what is this tournament going to be like? And in its first edition, in its current guise,

Speaker 13 that's worth something, isn't it?

Speaker 13 Sheer football football curiosity will take over for quite a few people.

Speaker 16 Absolutely, and I'm pretty sure that come Saturday night at 1 a.m., Sunday morning 1 a.m.,

Speaker 16 because I'm going to

Speaker 16 a mates 30th on Saturday, and I reckon when it finishes up, it's probably going to be finished at about half 12 or something. I work in 1 a.m., Al Ackley versus into Miami, stick it on.

Speaker 31 Why not?

Speaker 13 I want you to document this experience watching that entire game. Glad to see you sticking with it.

Speaker 13 Laura Bradburn asks, Charlie, what's the most obscure matchup of teams for you guys in this Club World Cup? I, for one, cannot get my head around the fact that Boca Jr.s will be playing Auckland City.

Speaker 13 I mean, that to me is a selling point. Boca Juniors.

Speaker 13 Why would they play each other otherwise?

Speaker 23 Argentina Vinuzin is very rugby World Cup.

Speaker 35 That's the only other time these two nations.

Speaker 2 Any interaction.

Speaker 13 To put it another way, what fixture out of all of these 32 teams will be the one that's cited quite dismissively in the same way that we'd say like a football hipster is watching Freiburg Reserves or something like that?

Speaker 13 Oh, what are you going to do? Go and watch Seattle Sanders versus Butterfogo, are you?

Speaker 23 River Play CF Monterey, Fluminese, Ulsan.

Speaker 13 Actually, that's interesting, Dave, on the back of that.

Speaker 13 I think the biggest triumph of this Club World Cup will be to shift the dial in terms of people who think they're actually called Fluminese and not Fluminense.

Speaker 13 It's gonna be it's gonna be a real learning curve for a long time.

Speaker 15 Yeah, athletico situation.

Speaker 16 But I think I think like Fluminense against Borisia Dortmund is like there are some real proper hipster matches amongst this like Palmyra against Porto.

Speaker 16 So like the glamour, you need the South American glamour and the sort of vague sense that they could they might be really good, even though they're probably not.

Speaker 16 And then like a not elite European, like top, top European team, but just like Champions League regular, like, you know, Porto, Borisia Dortmund, even Atletico.

Speaker 16 Like, you don't want like, it's not PSG or Real Madrid, but it's, it's one of the ones from a step down. And I think that's, that's the, the sweet spot, I I think.

Speaker 24 But you know what I think that but that's too mainstream, isn't it, for the kind of dismissive hipster?

Speaker 35 Like, if you're watching

Speaker 39 a proper football hipster, you shouldn't be watching like Dortmund are quite a mainstream option in this conversation.

Speaker 22 Yeah, I know what you mean.

Speaker 16 I think Monterey is a good shout, actually, because I can see people going, you know, Mexico, actually, you know, the crowds they get in that league, yeah.

Speaker 13 Football hotbed, yeah, heritage, it's an interesting point, actually, Charlie. I don't know if this is going to be sort of regarded as a football hipster tournament.

Speaker 13 I think, I think the whole thing is too sprawling, like, it doesn't have that appeal. It could be cults.

Speaker 13 I think it might have a cult appeal, weirdly, which I don't think FIFA wants it to, but I don't think it'll be a hipster thing at all.

Speaker 40 Well, hipster, it doesn't sit that well with hipster.

Speaker 37 Well, I guess it depends.

Speaker 23 There are some people who just love football and kind of, you know, and have views on people from all these different countries.

Speaker 24 But hipster, there's a with football hipsterism, there's an implied sort of left-wing

Speaker 23 kind of egalitarian vibe to it, which this absolutely isn't.

Speaker 24 This is the most corporate, money-grabbed, tarnished competition, which I don't think would sit that well with your proper football hipsters.

Speaker 17 I guess the hipster element, though, could come a bit from the backlash against this very Eurocentric view, maybe that this is a corporate sham, and that actually for these smaller clubs, this is amazing, you know.

Speaker 27 And stop looking at it through the prism of Man City.

Speaker 17 You know, like Son Hughes for the Athletics done this great series with the Mamalodi Sundowns, and for them, it's this great thing. So maybe that's where the hipster element comes from.

Speaker 13 And that argument was raised in the old iteration of the Club World Cup. You know, this actually matters, like, you know, to the to these clubs.

Speaker 33 So, yeah. Try telling them that it's a corporate share.

Speaker 13 It could be a huge try telling them tournament.

Speaker 14 Yeah, could be.

Speaker 13 Dave, I do think, though, you know, for our purposes alone on this podcast, I think we're a good sort of 12, 16 years away from being able to do the pure Club World Cup 11.

Speaker 13 As soon as that moment it hits, it's won. FIFA should know in its marketing that that's the moment it matters.

Speaker 16 I just can't think of anything other than how incredibly stressed you'd be after the 16th, well, be like the 18th clichés live tour going on, say,

Speaker 16 in 16 years' time.

Speaker 14 Might go to Newcastle by then.

Speaker 27 But I was thinking it was the Club World Cup, wasn't it, that united some version of that in 2000 they were in with Nakaksa and Masco da Gama and Ange Posta Koglu, South Melbourne.

Speaker 39 I mean, that tournament did have a lot of moments, and that was what prompted that incredible Daily Mirror front page.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Remember that one of no one in the country wants it, and it had like Caprice, Tony Blair, Darren Day.

Speaker 20 Just

Speaker 12 99, 2000 just captured so perfectly.

Speaker 13 I'm excited, Dave, for the first story in a newspaper somewhere.

Speaker 13 I feel like Martin Ziegler will break this in the Times about DeZone getting 14 viewers for Pachuca versus Red Bull Salzburg.

Speaker 13 I feel like that could be the big story of the tournament in its early stages.

Speaker 20 Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Speaker 13 But yeah, the football hipster thing is good. I think we should do a Dreamland episode on football hipsterdom.

Speaker 13 Because I feel like it has faded a bit as everyone else has come up to the level of the people who were there before. Let's do it.
Let's do a Dreamland episode on football hipsters.

Speaker 13 Next up, bread and butter issue for you now, Charlie. Gentle hum of anxiety asks, what is an absolute clinic?

Speaker 13 I've heard it referred to both in terms of team performance and for individual bits of play. Is it anything to do with being clinical or closer to being like a showcase?

Speaker 13 Also, how does it relate to a masterclass? Asks Kieran.

Speaker 13 Well, I think we've spoken about this before. We touched on it a little bit when we were talking about the Player X show.
Oh, it's been the Kevin De Bruyne show today.

Speaker 13 But clinic is slightly different to that, would you say?

Speaker 39 Well, it comes from like a coaching clinic.

Speaker 23 So the idea is that you've got someone, and I think, and you often hear this in individual sports as well.

Speaker 23 Yeah, he's delivered a clinic.

Speaker 17 Like he has basically shown you how to play.

Speaker 34 So, and that's how I think of it with football as well.

Speaker 27 If you deliver a clinic, this is basically it's like a master because a masterclass is a similar thing, isn't it?

Speaker 23 When you're kind of, this is,

Speaker 17 you know, you get those coaching voice masterclass things.

Speaker 24 So you're just giving people a demonstration on how to do something perfectly.

Speaker 23 What you might hear it with an individual thing as well is like, Kevin De Bruyne has put on a clinic,

Speaker 23 you know, where he's basically just given the perfect display of central attacking midfielderism.

Speaker 22 Or, you know, it can be a specific to a position.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 46 This is how this is how to play as a number six or something.

Speaker 16 It's a technical thing, though, isn't it? You know, as the term suggests, like, it's clinical.

Speaker 16 It's not necessarily extravagant or sort of boastful or showing off or particularly.

Speaker 13 It's fairly unglamorous compared to player action. Yeah, right.

Speaker 15 I think so.

Speaker 22 So I think. Yeah, I think that's right.

Speaker 37 There does have to be.

Speaker 24 That's why I think De Bruyne is quite a good example, because he isn't someone, none of it's for show.

Speaker 36 It's just this is going to be incredibly effective.

Speaker 13 How broad can a clinic be, Charlie? Because De Bruyne could have a multi-pronged kind of clinic. He could be doing passing, just how to run a game, sort of arriving in the box, something like that.

Speaker 13 But, I mean, Erling Haaland could put on a finishing clinic.

Speaker 21 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can make it more specific.

Speaker 27 I think it does tend to be an attacking thing.

Speaker 24 Like, I can't imagine you saying, like, Van Dijk's put on a clinic.

Speaker 13 No, I don't like defensive clinic. No, I agree with you.
Goalkeeping clinic? No, no. There's no one out there to teach.

Speaker 14 They don't give a shit.

Speaker 14 The other goalkeeper.

Speaker 32 Bettinelli watching on from the bench.

Speaker 13 To harp back to this original question, though, Dave, I really love absolute clinic. I mean, what an incredible phrase.
And only football could summon absolute clinic.

Speaker 13 He's putting an absolute clinic out there. Very Townsendian, perhaps.
Now,

Speaker 13 lest we forget, do you remember the hypothetical scenario someone raised a few months ago about how long it would take a player if he scored a hatch in every game to rise to the very, very top level of football?

Speaker 13 Well, Robert Porter brings us news from Brazil of Gabriel Veneno, who sounds like someone Dan Walker would would mispronounce on Classic FM.

Speaker 13 He has become the first player in the history of Brazilian youth football to surpass the 80 goal mark in a single calendar year. He scored 93 goals in 30 games at the age of 15, Charlie.

Speaker 19 He's going to do it.

Speaker 38 Yeah, we're next for him.

Speaker 13 I mean, he is already at

Speaker 13 Atletico Minero, I think. So, I mean, he's already, it's not like he's playing in the...

Speaker 2 in the back of the Sunday football exactly.

Speaker 13 He's had a bit of a head start, I would say. But yeah, but yeah, assume a few hat-tricks in there somewhere.

Speaker 13 It'd be good to get get the breakdown actually wouldn't it just to see how neatly this fits if he's drawn a blank in any of those 30 games you twat you've ruined it yeah but he scored 80 of it in one game didn't he count

Speaker 48 flat track bully right next up uh a little voice note actually here comes ross jones with a question for us i work in country music and there is a song by an artist called Morgan Wallen called 98 Braves.

Speaker 48 Now, this is in reference to a sports team in America and how

Speaker 48 he can find the right words to say, but it's in comparison to the 1998 Braves team. And it got me thinking,

Speaker 48 which team would be best suited to being in a song title? Off the top of my head,

Speaker 48 98 United, but would it have to be 9899 United? Does that even work?

Speaker 4 Thought I'd ask.

Speaker 13 The first thing to pick up on here, Charlie, is that when you have to employ the kind of uh sort of european football season format to this it ruins the romance of it somewhat having to put a kind of slash in there yeah i don't think anyone would if you went united 99 i don't i think even the biggest dick would not be like um teleport 98 99 99 2000

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 the club world cup yeah um

Speaker 13 i think 99 would be fine so which which clubs and seasons would lend themselves to this perfectly i think iax 95 is very much an established kind of mythical status here dave brazil 70 if you're going to to go international.

Speaker 16 Yeah, or Brazil on Brazil 82.

Speaker 28 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 25 Denmark 86.

Speaker 44 Yes.

Speaker 13 Very good. Club-wise, struggling.

Speaker 23 Clubs are less easy in a way because not everyone loves the same club by definition.

Speaker 37 Whereas international teams, like we can all get behind Brazil or Denmark because, you know, we don't dislike them.

Speaker 31 Yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah, and everybody loves the IAX team, so it's all right.

Speaker 24 Exactly, yeah.

Speaker 13 Certainly wouldn't work in English football, really.

Speaker 37 Well, yeah, unless there was like a particular characteristic you were talking about.

Speaker 13 Arsenal 04.

Speaker 27 Yeah, you're unbeatable.

Speaker 33 You're unbeatable like Arsenal 04.

Speaker 13 No one would say, imagine saying Arsenal 04, that great Arsenal 04.

Speaker 2 04 team.

Speaker 16 I wonder if anyone in America, sort of soccer punditry in America, talk about European or whoever international teams like this, though, using that same convention.

Speaker 16 So would they say, oh, you know, the 04 Arsenal or that famous 99 United team?

Speaker 13 Using their calendar.

Speaker 14 They might do.

Speaker 16 Yeah,

Speaker 16 it doesn't really sit right with us, does it?

Speaker 13 Yeah. I suppose you've got to use the business end for the year, right? You can't use the year that the season began.
It's a tricky concept. I'm glad we haven't had to face it before.

Speaker 13 Overhyped and unamazing gets in touch next, Dave, with a headline from the Lynn News saying that Kings Lynn Town have

Speaker 13 raided a Premier League club for their fifth piece of summer transfer business.

Speaker 13 The player in question, he says, is Sam Collins, an academy product, an out of contract at Forest, having never made an appearance for the first team. Can this be a raid?

Speaker 13 In general, can a non-league team like Kingslin possibly ever raid a Premier League team? Please straighten out this verb. Transfer silly season approaches.

Speaker 13 I mean, you can see why it's been used here, but it's not a raid, is it?

Speaker 16 But that's like if you get broken in, you return home to your house and you've clearly been burgled, but then bizarrely, they've left all the valuables.

Speaker 13 Actually, you know, I do have an example of this.

Speaker 13 In my first London flat, it got broken into, and all that was stolen, they'd emptied out my penny jar onto the bed and taken out the 20ps and i was like well fair enough to be honest

Speaker 13 good luck to you that's that's some good sifting but yeah i mean could kingslin ever raid nottingham forest charlie i feel like they couldn't i mean unless they signed i don't know chris would under their noses yeah raids are i mean raid because raid is by definition like a surprise attack so in some ways it does opportunist yeah i can see why it does lend itself to the smaller club doing it because you you to be successful with a raid, you know, it needs to have that surprise element.

Speaker 23 So you'd kind of employ that tactic if you were the underdog.

Speaker 39 That said, in a football sense, what is a kind of...

Speaker 23 You might talk about raiding a manager raiding his old club.

Speaker 35 Like, might Thomas Frank raid Brentford?

Speaker 13 Yeah, funny you should mention that, actually, because again... Transfer raids, Dave, are something you'd never say out loud.
It's very much a headline thing in certain publications.

Speaker 13 Martin Keown was on TalkSport. Why have I not got the clip of this? It's at my fingertips, but I don't know where it is.

Speaker 13 Martin Keown was on on Talksport talking about Brentford and Thomas Frank and how it's the right time for Thomas Frank to leave because that team's about to get broken up.

Speaker 13 And he was talking about Burmo and Wisto. And he says, you know, Kevin Schader,

Speaker 13 I would raid Brentford for him.

Speaker 13 Don't say raid out loud.

Speaker 14 You really don't. Oh, God.

Speaker 13 If you're Martin Keown and everything. I'm not going to lose Frank.

Speaker 16 He's going to raid us.

Speaker 2 He's going to raid us.

Speaker 2 We've been raided.

Speaker 22 Speaking of Martin Keown, the tweet that went round recently that I sent to you guys from

Speaker 13 ever start like that and not be good.

Speaker 23 DMF V2 tweeted, Martin Keown, casually on my train in a suit with white trainers, fine, telling someone off for eating nuts on the carriage because people might be allergic is just about the most Martin Keown thing imaginable.

Speaker 21 Really earnestly having a pop at someone for doing that.

Speaker 29 Hey, just

Speaker 13 someone torn in here might have a peanut allergy. What are you doing?

Speaker 2 Just a sort of vigilante element of it.

Speaker 29 Followed brow right in your face.

Speaker 16 As Simon Jordan sits opposite him, just having a massive bag of nuts.

Speaker 11 I love that Keown would take it upon himself to do that with no particular skin in the game, by all accounts.

Speaker 13 I think he's one of the most fascinating people in English football. I'm yet to read his autobiography.
I wonder if it really sort of goes deep into just how quirky he is as just a human being.

Speaker 13 But yeah, fascinating man.

Speaker 13 I think he'd do a good MHD, Martin Keown.

Speaker 22 Might be too serious.

Speaker 35 yeah would there be the light and shade of it i don't know i think

Speaker 13 that you want from a good mhd i think he could let loose um a couple of items left um some elite pedantry from the depths of reddit um from the 28 days later subreddit all about the uh film franchise um someone has says that andy wears a 2006 seven real madrid shirt in a film set in 0203

Speaker 13 um which i mean let's be honest with this that's such a terrible thing for a film to get wrong why would you do that get it right also i'm i'm curious so the film is set in both 02 and 3, or we're just talking again in kind of football season language.

Speaker 13 Well, funnily enough, someone questioned this original poster saying, How do you know the film is set in 02-03?

Speaker 13 And they said, Well, actually, there was a tax disc on one of the cars, and it's dated in 2002, which means it probably runs out in 03. So, there you go.

Speaker 28 That's incredible.

Speaker 13 What a lovely little twist that is.

Speaker 23 But, yeah, this is the fame, this is the iconic Beckham, they finally win the league

Speaker 39 scoring on the final day shirt.

Speaker 13 Just annoying.

Speaker 44 Four years out, that's that's an eternity in football kits and it doesn't have to be of the year either like you you've got all the shirts prior to 2002 2003 to choose from you can go get go go and get one from 98 99 that's been worn in a bit though that would still be a big decision if you're being panicked that would still be a big decision because this is a what 10 year old kid and if you're i think that says a lot about a 10 year old kid if they're wearing the new kid they want the new shirt they want the away they yeah the program and he's chucking a hot dog

Speaker 16 i don't think that i don't think this kid would be wearing one from like five years early unless he's just a very casual fan The 99 2000, I think it is Real Madrid shirt, or it might be the year before, but I had it, and it's really shiny.

Speaker 16 I think it might be, that could have played havoc with the lights on set.

Speaker 13 Saving grace. Clawing back some credibility for the film crew there.
Elsewhere, this is from the Football Manager. Subreddit.

Speaker 13 Someone said, I'm managing a club in the Swedish team in the Football Manager 2024, and I just noticed something immersion shattering.

Speaker 13 The electrical outlets in the staff offices and locker rooms are UK style with three prongs, rectangular, absolutely disgraceful.

Speaker 13 I mean, imagine being at SI and just thinking, oh, for fuck's sake, no one did the electrical outlets.

Speaker 16 Gonna have to delay the game for another year.

Speaker 19 That might be the reason they've delayed it.

Speaker 21 That would really annoy you, wouldn't it?

Speaker 16 Oh, God, that would take you right out of it.

Speaker 13 That's awful.

Speaker 31 Anyway.

Speaker 13 Right, finally, this came from Matt Parsons. Now, we're all familiar with the story of Duncan Ferguson beating the shit out of some burglars in the early 2000s.

Speaker 15 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 16 As they tried to raid his house.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 13 Well, if if if we call that the first taken film, let's call this the sequel.

Speaker 12 I'd never heard of this before.

Speaker 13 It's a story about Kevin Pressman from 1998, who had his car stolen from his drive in the early hours of the morning. His 52,000 pound luxury black motor, in fact, it said in the mirror.

Speaker 13 And he gave chase in his wife's Lexus for 15 miles. He he sort of chased after this this car, phoning the police from his car phone as well, Charlie.
So dangerous.

Speaker 13 The thief eventually crashed that car into a ditch and then ran off. And Kevin Pressman gave Chase for a mile and a half and eventually cornered him.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 13 Imagine being chased by Kevin Pressman.

Speaker 40 That was the real situation.

Speaker 28 Oh, I regret this now.

Speaker 14 Although, I don't know.

Speaker 16 If you did see someone getting out of your car to chase them and you saw it was Kevin Pressman, you might think, oh, I've got a chance. I think I could outpace outpace him.

Speaker 13 Very surprising. He can move, Kevin Pressman, when he needs to.
Trust me.

Speaker 16 Yeah, once he gets you, you're going to go down.

Speaker 13 He's taking me down.

Speaker 38 Kick two into the stanch.

Speaker 13 The icing on the cake for this story, of course, was a Derbyshire police spokesman, Charlie, saying, Kevin is to be highly commended for his actions. He kept us fully informed of what was happening.

Speaker 13 He cornered the man himself, but wisely waited for police to arrive before the suspect was tackled. This is obviously a case of the goalkeeper who wouldn't let anything pass him.

Speaker 22 Yeah, it just about works, yeah.

Speaker 2 With a little wink there, no.

Speaker 24 Yeah, it's like in the children's story.

Speaker 37 Nice little flourish at the end.

Speaker 13 You couldn't do any of this in 2025, could you, Dave? None of that behavior is encouraged. I'm more worried about the fact that his car is only a third of the cost of his entire house.
150 grand home.

Speaker 19 Different times.

Speaker 2 Different times.

Speaker 13 On that note, thanks to you, Charlie Equishaire. Thank you.
Thanks to you, Dave Walker. Thank you.
Thanks to everyone for listening. We'll be back on Tuesday.
See you then.

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