The 100-minute fetish club, Love Actually in Naples, and the ultimate "released on DVD" game

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, you can sit there and look and play with all your silly machines as much as you like.

Speaker 2 Is Gascoigne gonna have a crack?

Speaker 3 He is, you know. Oh, I say!

Speaker 3 Brilliant!

Speaker 3 But jeez! He's round the goalkeeper! He's done it!

Speaker 3 Absolutely incredible! He launched himself six feet into the crowd and kung fu kicked a supporter who was eye without a shadow of a doubt getting him lip.

Speaker 5 Postseason dust settling, Rory DeLap on throwing, double guards of honour, Don Goodman and Andy Hinchcliffe on co-comms, a baffling soundtrack to Napoli's Scudetto ceremony, Rio Ferdinand on Scott McDominay, the start of what could be the greatest saga in investigative football podcasting history.

Speaker 14 Which game is the most have it on DVD and never watch-it game of all time? George Earthy and Premier League players whose names belong in other sports?

Speaker 16 And Keys and Gray, find out how many English teams are in Europe. Brought to your ears by Goal Hanger Podcasts.

Speaker 17 This is Football Clichés.

Speaker 18 Hello everyone and welcome to Football Clichés.

Speaker 17 I'm Adam Hurry. This is the adjudication panel.
Joining me first of all is David Walker.

Speaker 18 How are you doing? I'm good.

Speaker 19 How are you?

Speaker 12 I'm alright.

Speaker 28 Alongside you, Nick Miller, how are you i'm very well how are you yeah really good um dave the athletics newcastle podcast pod on the time simply ask when will the dust have settled when does the sort of generic general season dust settle uh is it always the same or can there be context specific dust i would say i mean if you think of the typical dust it's usually the dust settling on a season that's had its ups and downs so let's say spurs is season i i would say that the general dust for pretty much everybody settles at the same time You you have to go away and have a little think, and then the dust settles.

Speaker 17 So I would give about a week.

Speaker 28 Maybe not even that long in that case. But are they referring to the uncertainty around Aston Villa's complaint against PGMOL in the Champions League situation?

Speaker 36 Why would they be talking about that?

Speaker 37 Oh, I see.

Speaker 28 Are they going to get affected? I don't know.

Speaker 13 I don't think anything's going to change, though, is it?

Speaker 18 I mean, Villa aren't going to get any points back.

Speaker 34 So, I mean,

Speaker 35 the subtext of your question is pretty pertinent.

Speaker 10 I don't know why they're asking, but

Speaker 25 the general dust nick, about a week?

Speaker 41 Because that gives players enough time to go to Dubai and then think about what it is they want to do with their lives.

Speaker 21 But I mean, is the dust, do we have to wait until Chelsea's season to finish for the dust to start settling? Because obviously they've got a final on Wednesday, and then there's a club,

Speaker 21 and it's all, you know,

Speaker 21 there's a more and more limited window for dust to settle these days.

Speaker 44 Yeah, can your dust settle if other teams' dust hasn't settled?

Speaker 41 Which brings us round about to your very original point there, Dave, I guess.

Speaker 21 Let's say a week.

Speaker 34 Yeah, let's say a week. Let's move things on.

Speaker 13 Nick, really enjoyed your piece for the athletic the other day, looking back at the

Speaker 18 fascinating era where Stokes suddenly became good at long throws, thanks to Rory DeLap.

Speaker 11 An incredible quote in the middle of this.

Speaker 13 Not straight to you, sadly, but here it goes.

Speaker 32 DeLap had been a javelin thrower in his youth, becoming local champion for his athletics club in Carlisle.

Speaker 22 I could always throw things from a young age, he said in an interview with Sport Bible in 2023.

Speaker 48 Stones, cricket balls, golf balls or whatever.

Speaker 47 When I threw things, I remember people going, wow, look how far he can throw things.

Speaker 49 It was such a good thing. It's just perfect.

Speaker 21 It's so good.

Speaker 21 I I I when I when I started doing that piece I thought right well people have done this piece before so I want to get as many original voices as I can and try not to use like secondary interviews and stuff like that.

Speaker 21 But then when I read that and read that line I just like there's no way there's no possible way I couldn't have included it. And there was also, I mean, as it happens,

Speaker 21 I don't think he was, he himself was going to talk about it, but there was just no point in me trying to kind of get anything else out of him after that line. It was just, it was perfect.

Speaker 23 Yeah, you can't over-intellectualize just throwing things really far, can you, Dave?

Speaker 28 No. And to break it down, stones, yep, people throw stones on the beach, whatever.
Cricket balls, obviously, yeah. Golf balls.

Speaker 11 Why are you throwing golf balls?

Speaker 36 Don't suggest that he was just going around for showing off.

Speaker 50 Listen, show what I can do with a golf ball.

Speaker 21 Maybe it was a yeah, it was a show-off thing where everyone else was using clubs and he was just chucking them.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 12 I mean, there's always a kid at school who was really good at throwing things.

Speaker 51 I could never work out why.

Speaker 24 It wasn't one of those kids.

Speaker 19 She couldn't throw. It's too small.

Speaker 25 Shame.

Speaker 29 Dave, how have you done as a good thrower?

Speaker 28 Well, actually,

Speaker 28 24 hours ago, so I've been down in Weymouth for the weekend for a friend's birthday. And we were staying right on the beach.
And it's a stony beach.

Speaker 28 And I actually just, in an idle moment yesterday, just went out onto the beach and started throwing stones into the sea and then you sort of throw one you think oh that wasn't very good let me see if i can get it a bit further and i was i was really disappointed in my ability to throw and then just on my right in my periphery some some big bloke came along picked up a stone started doing the same and just absolutely launched it so i i he sent me packing i don't know why the way you worded that because stones see you obviously think of skimming when you said they just started throwing stones into the sea well i did try to skim i tried to skim and i was so bad so i thought i'll just chuck it i'll just chuck it, see if I can get it further.

Speaker 21 But for some reason, just throwing stones into the sea sounds incredibly bleak.

Speaker 27 What's a little bit

Speaker 21 throwing stones into the sea?

Speaker 49 Didn't know what to do.

Speaker 27 I was justifying. Don't underestimate the plop.

Speaker 40 Yeah. But yeah, skimming very much my first port of call in that scenario.

Speaker 24 So but if you haven't got it, you haven't got it.

Speaker 29 Right, let's start with the Premier League's final day.

Speaker 22 A few moderate sized talking points.

Speaker 13 First of all, Nick, the double guard of honour at Anfield between Liverpool and Crystal Palace, it worked out exactly as we hoped it would.

Speaker 47 It was brilliantly choreographed.

Speaker 18 Whether it was planned in advance, whether so whose job was it to tell them how they should do it and how it should sort of fold in on itself?

Speaker 21 I don't know. I mean,

Speaker 21 who is even suggesting that as an idea? I mean, it kind of was all trailed with social media posts and like, you know, winners-only, all that kind of thing. I think that was Liverpool, wasn't it?

Speaker 21 They put out this post. But yeah, I mean, who thought of that and then decided and then someone went, yeah, actually, that's a really good idea.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 22 I mean, irresistible to do it, Dave.

Speaker 18 I mean, I think it warrants it. I mean, they're both eligible for it, no question.

Speaker 35 It just felt like a spectacle that nobody could resist.

Speaker 28 It's almost like a sort of bit of choreography, sort of like a reminiscent of an opening ceremony,

Speaker 28 in a way.

Speaker 28 But I was thinking having the FA Cup final before the last day of the Premier League season is a relatively recent development because you wouldn't normally get a Guard of Honor if you're the FA Cup winners, would you?

Speaker 57 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 28 So this is quite a novel situation.

Speaker 28 I did see a video of Slot and Glasner sort of slightly awkwardly exchanging exchanging gifts in the tunnel and it was being filmed and they were sort of having a bit of a chat but you know one of those things can you just give each other the gifts and I'll just I'll just film it just keep it natural just and it was all pretend pretend I'm not here

Speaker 21 yeah what were the gifts are we talking about like just pennants or was it personal was it personal gifts from man to man or represent or club to club to club kind of thing yeah I think it was it was they were doing it in the manner of a of a pennant exchange but I think one of them had like a gift bag right so I don't know if it was a bottle of something or baffle watts inside it or something.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 33 I've always wanted one of these. Thanks.

Speaker 15 Well, classy touches all round in that case.

Speaker 41 But of course, this Premier League season, Nick, ended, as it should do these days, with a Premier League club filing a futile but pointed complaint about a referee to the authorities.

Speaker 13 Nothing's going to happen, Aston Villa.

Speaker 59 Nothing will happen not only retrospectively, but nothing will happen on the back of

Speaker 18 what you're complaining about.

Speaker 32 There's just nothing.

Speaker 46 This is all for show, and I kind of understand it, but it is utterly futile.

Speaker 21 I'm just delighted it wasn't Forrest doing this.

Speaker 36 You've set the trend.

Speaker 27 Thanks, Forrest.

Speaker 15 Thanks, Jose Mourinho.

Speaker 24 This is where football's got to.

Speaker 21 Just one of the many things that football has to thank Nottingham Forrest for.

Speaker 44 There was some kernel of logic behind the disgust over the Aston Villa decision, Dave.

Speaker 22 This is the referee blowing the whistle for a foul on Lte Bayendere of Manchester United before Morgan Rodgers rolled the ball home.

Speaker 13 And interestingly, the referee in in question, Thomas Brammel, has been alternating between the championship and the Premier League.

Speaker 35 And obviously, the championship doesn't have VAR, so there's an implication that he's got the muscle memory of just whistling for fouls quickly and not letting the game flow, which I can kind of get.

Speaker 55 Like, it's probably. I mean, they are well-drilled.

Speaker 28 Yeah, yeah, for sure. I was sort of thinking when watching the championship playoff final on Saturday and there's VAR in that one.
I thought that was a bit weird that you for the teams.

Speaker 28 Like, they're used to not having it all season, then all of a sudden they've scored a goal that got ruled out. Shefford United had a goal ruled out.
It must have been a strange feeling for them.

Speaker 18 They should train with VAR, shouldn't they? Yeah.

Speaker 28 Yeah, I can see, yeah, without wanting to get into it, I can see why Phillip would be a bit perturbed.

Speaker 24 But

Speaker 28 as you rightly say, nothing's going to happen.

Speaker 28 Somebody somewhere will get a fine at some point. Somebody's on record.

Speaker 21 It was also, there's also, I know it's a slightly different situation with the, because there's obviously been a bit of a bit of uproar after the Tyroanyu incident from a couple of weeks ago about this whole business of delaying the whistle or delaying the flag or whatever, delaying what a decision with VAR in mind.

Speaker 21 So

Speaker 21 in that scenario, everyone was saying, well,

Speaker 21 they should have just flagged immediately. And

Speaker 21 in this scenario, they're saying, well, he should have just let it run. So it was a kind of classic cipher of the common sense consistency debate where I'm referring.

Speaker 21 I know, I know the situation was slightly different, but you know, what if Rogers had they'd let it go, Rogers had gone round the goalkeeper and twisted his ankle?

Speaker 3 What then?

Speaker 3 What then?

Speaker 45 I don't know who I feel worse for, Dave.

Speaker 18 Do I feel bad for Thomas Bremmel, the referee, given that he's been it's been labelled the 30 million pound mistake?

Speaker 46 Or on reflection, having watched Kiefer Moore, having to see that Sunderland attack unfold after he'd given the ball away in the 96th minute or something.

Speaker 24 And I just think, you're going to have the shittest night's sleep tonight.

Speaker 10 I honestly, that's such an acute feeling of, oh my God, we've got to go and play 46 championship games again next season.

Speaker 3 Oh, awful.

Speaker 63 And

Speaker 28 he also had a header saved brilliantly in like the second minute of the game as well. So he's got two things that will keep him up at night thinking back to that game.

Speaker 28 If they'd both gone the other way, he'd be in the Premier League. But yet, the position that he gave the ball away on the pitch and just he was right behind it all, just watching it unfold.

Speaker 28 You j oh my god, it's it is the stuff of nightmares, isn't it?

Speaker 21 There are very, very few scenarios where I you would compare Kiefer Moore to Raheem Sterling, but it really reminded me and it almost like it almost identical bit of that that pitch as well.

Speaker 21 Do you remember in Euro 2020 when Sterling gave the ball away and Thomas Muller went through? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 43 Oh, God.

Speaker 21 And

Speaker 21 obviously, it looked before the world that Muller was going to score. And Sterling just, it must have been the kind of longest, like, three seconds of his life all over the world.

Speaker 21 Because he was just going to, oh, go, fucked it. I've completely fucked it.
Everyone's going to hate me.

Speaker 42 And then he just kind of stadium.

Speaker 21 Yeah, collapsed in relief when Muller missed it.

Speaker 62 Oh, God.

Speaker 8 Not only did Kiefer Moore sort of react with complete despair after he'd realised that he was giving away a sort of counter-attack, Dave, he then embarked on the classic kind of trying to make up for things run by dipping his head down and just running off.

Speaker 56 I'm showing everyone he's running fast by just putting his head down.

Speaker 60 Yeah, a fruitless pursuit.

Speaker 23 Finally, Gary Lineke's match of the day farewell.

Speaker 22 A more strung out affair, Dave, than I expected it to be, given the circumstances surrounding it.

Speaker 15 I thought the whole thing was quite nicely done.

Speaker 32 Really nice montage.

Speaker 46 And then it got to the end and nobody knew how to sort of wrap it all up.

Speaker 35 And then there were gifts.

Speaker 34 It was like Glasner and Slot. It was all...

Speaker 41 And then the very end, as the credits were about to roll and they had the sort of wider shot of the studio, there was just a very awkward kind of bro-style handshake with Alan Shearer.

Speaker 38 Just because neither of them knew what to do.

Speaker 24 And I thought, that was quite touching in a way, just its sheer awkwardness.

Speaker 31 Yeah, quite human, actually.

Speaker 28 Because you think, I mean, you say your last line, look at the camera for five seconds, and cut. That's it.
Job done. But there was that.
he's done his line, he did his little speech at the end,

Speaker 28 nicely delivered, very heartfelt, and all that. But there was just that five seconds where Sashir has gone for the classic, reached across for the classic footballing slappy handshake.

Speaker 28 Yeah, and then there was just a half-second bit.

Speaker 40 Um, but yeah, it just shows how much it means to everybody involved.

Speaker 23 So, I'm glad it was awkward because that's how it should be in these situations. Um, let's return to Wembley in the championship playoff final.

Speaker 12 Nick, some thought it was unsatisfying to have two such similar-feeling EFL Giants going going head to head at Wembley.

Speaker 13 But do you know what? It was time that Don Goodman and Andy Hinchcliffe did co-commentary together.

Speaker 2 You picked him out. Patrick Roberts drifting in from that right-hand side into more central area, picks the run out.
Meander does the rest. Brilliant first touch.
Better second touch.

Speaker 2 So difficult though with a ball coming across your body to control it, cushing it with the outside of your boot.

Speaker 2 You normally maybe stand on the ball, the ball gets away from it, it doesn't go anywhere. It's an amazing touch when you're moving at speed.

Speaker 2 And you spoke about Tyrese Campbell, and Maender hadn't really been in the goals too much towards the end of the season.

Speaker 2 Scored that summer at Bristol City and then scored the one in the first leg against Coventry.

Speaker 29 It's like when Sting, Brian Adams, and Rod Stewart all did a sum together.

Speaker 3 All for one? Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 3 For that really

Speaker 21 crap Musketeers film.

Speaker 45 Best thing about it.

Speaker 28 That's great. It's nice to have them side by side so we can just pick out the subtle differences.
Hinchcliffe, just a note or two higher

Speaker 20 in pitch than Goodman.

Speaker 60 Yeah, I mean, we've had a lot of feedback about this, Nick, our ongoing disbelief that they are different people.

Speaker 22 And obviously their accents are different. You know, Hinchcliffe is from Manchester.

Speaker 13 Goodman is from Leeds originally. But it isn't the accent.

Speaker 12 They have exactly the same earnest cadence to their commentary.

Speaker 13 Yet, I mean, as Dave says, there's a good half an octave between them, but

Speaker 13 the way that they dovetail is actually surprisingly good.

Speaker 12 So it was good to hear them sort of segue into each other.

Speaker 21 It's very kind of BT TNT stuff to have twin co-comms. I mean, I know

Speaker 21 Sky will have occasionally done it with like Neville and Carragher, I suppose. But a classic big European knight, and Fletcher's got two mates next to him

Speaker 49 rather than one.

Speaker 18 I mean, they deserved to be given the gig together, didn't they, Dave?

Speaker 24 I mean, they've just done so much this season, it's like having to choose a goalkeeper for a final.

Speaker 43 It's like, get them both on.

Speaker 28 Yeah, they are Mr. and Mr.
Championship, aren't they?

Speaker 34 Yes, I think so.

Speaker 13 Now, elsewhere in this commentary, Daniel Mann was the main comms for this one.

Speaker 22 This came from Mark Craven. And just as injury time ticked on, Daniel Mann tapped into one of football's niche appeals.

Speaker 2 Effectively, when the game restarts here, reset that clock to 90 minutes

Speaker 64 in your mind.

Speaker 64 So

Speaker 2 we should see 100 minutes come up, which I know a lot of you enjoy.

Speaker 2 I think I am talking to a quite niche audience there, to be honest, but

Speaker 64 they're out there.

Speaker 2 In Spellingham.

Speaker 30 Love that last bit, Nick.

Speaker 56 It really made it sound like it's a CD thing to enjoy 100 minutes on the clock.

Speaker 21 Yeah, it's like that thing. There'll be someone who's into it.
Just google it, or there'll be someone who's into it. I also quite like, obviously, it's impossible to tell which one.

Speaker 21 I also liked whoever, one of the co-commentators laughing in the background both of them did both of them joined

Speaker 38 absolutely spot on yeah Hitchcliffe with the high-pitched Goodman coming in with a sort of more measured chuckle Dave everything's great about this keep them as a threesome I say yeah yeah love it get them promoted why not um now the match winner for Sunderland was Tom Watson and uh he's off to Brighton I understand it he's incredibly brighten as well by the way but uh this came from Ethan James this is Tom Watson being interviewed by Sunderland's in-house media after the game.

Speaker 13 Now, Nick, at this time of year, there are so many of these interviews.

Speaker 22 How does it feel?

Speaker 32 Tell me, you know,

Speaker 22 how does that sound? That sort of thing.

Speaker 35 You'd expect the language to go a bit autopilot, and so it did.

Speaker 65 When you went to sleep last night, you must have been dreaming that

Speaker 65 you could have produced something like that on the big stage. Yeah, honestly, I don't think I could have even drunk a lot.

Speaker 65 It's honestly absolutely dream come true.

Speaker 29 Did you dream it or not, mate?

Speaker 3 Oh, Oh, excellent.

Speaker 62 He's only young. He'll learn.

Speaker 30 No, that's fine. But I don't know.
I mean, maybe we just need to stop phrasing questions like this.

Speaker 56 But at least he didn't ask him.

Speaker 45 At least he didn't ask him, what would you say to a younger self?

Speaker 42 God knows what he would have answered with.

Speaker 23 In attendance at Wembley, Dave, was Jordan Henderson, once of Sunderland.

Speaker 22 Yeah. There is talk of him actually returning to the Stadium of Light for a sort of last hurrah for his career.

Speaker 22 This is from the local newspaper, The Chronicle, about Jordan Henderson's future next season.

Speaker 13 Now, with the summer window approaching and with a contract expiring in 12 months' time, his future is in fresh limbo.

Speaker 27 It's the essence of newspaper chat, isn't it?

Speaker 56 Fresh limbo.

Speaker 29 What a ridiculous pair of words.

Speaker 27 Fresh limbo.

Speaker 30 Get your fresh limbo here.

Speaker 21 They are the two, generally the two contexts you hear fresh used used like that are in transfer talk and a grocer

Speaker 21 on a kind of stereotypical market.

Speaker 28 This is alluding to the fact that he did nearly leave Ajax in the January window, I believe, or earlier in the season.

Speaker 28 So that was the initial limbo. Right.
Now, assuming that limbo continued to be in limbo, or surely was out of limbo once the window shut. But now he's back.
Now it's fresh limbo, I suppose. Yeah.

Speaker 22 Weird how fresh is caught on as simply meaning new in football.

Speaker 23 A fresh controversy is just...

Speaker 25 Mad word.

Speaker 33 But there we are.

Speaker 58 Now, things are really hoeing up now.

Speaker 18 We've dealt with the end of season business.

Speaker 34 Well, almost.

Speaker 10 This came from David Lawrence and a small handful of people on Twitter who also clocked this.

Speaker 13 Here's Antonio Conte taking the podium as Napoli are presented with the Scudetto. Ignore the commentary.
Just listen to the background soundtrack.

Speaker 66 And the relationship between him and Delorensis has worked.

Speaker 66 Perhaps against the odds

Speaker 66 when you consider

Speaker 66 the potential volatility

Speaker 66 of the two personalities, but

Speaker 66 they've so far been a great combination.

Speaker 67 I'll tell you, I wouldn't want to play poker with De Lorenz. He gives nothing away, does he?

Speaker 29 Either of you recognise that soundtrack?

Speaker 21 No, I couldn't quite make it out.

Speaker 58 That is.

Speaker 12 I'm struggling.

Speaker 28 Struggling a bit.

Speaker 18 You'd think it was just some general orchestral music for the occasion.

Speaker 56 That is, in fact, from love, actually.

Speaker 24 It's from the scene where the kid runs through the airport chasing after the girl that he fancies.

Speaker 43 Is it?

Speaker 20 Wow.

Speaker 3 Tremendous.

Speaker 20 I mean, of all the songs. Why?

Speaker 28 Is that a particularly famous piece of music? I don't know. Was it made, was Was it scored for the film?

Speaker 58 Yes, I think it was.

Speaker 62 It was right.

Speaker 13 So it's the original piece of music for the film. Maybe it's caught on in Italy more than we think.

Speaker 22 But yeah, fascinating stuff.

Speaker 55 Now, I mean, we continue to do these.

Speaker 34 I'm not getting bored of them.

Speaker 11 And nor should we when you have stuff like this.

Speaker 10 Here's Rio Ferdinand on Serie A MVP Scott McTominay.

Speaker 18 You know where this is going.

Speaker 64 Scott McTommony.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 64 If his name was, I don't know, Culajulo, right?

Speaker 43 He's going for 100 mils.

Speaker 12 Yeah, if his name was Kula Hulo,

Speaker 64 McSourcio, something like that.

Speaker 64 He's going for 100 mil right now.

Speaker 2 Because it's Scott McTomany and he's Scottish,

Speaker 64 no one's even talking about big fees or Real Madrid looking at him.

Speaker 22 Kula Hulo, McSourcio.

Speaker 27 So half Finnish, half Brazilian.

Speaker 20 That's the sort of player I want.

Speaker 43 Yeah.

Speaker 61 Would settle in the Premier League really quickly, but has really good individual skill.

Speaker 21 Either a new high or a new low for this genre.

Speaker 28 You've got to think about this stuff. You can't just make it up off the top of your head, Rio.
Kula Hulo. I don't know what he's on about there.
McSourceyo. I mean, McSourceio just, yeah.

Speaker 28 I mean, it just none of it really works, does it? I mean, the other fella, I think it was Joel Bayer on the clip on the clip, said Mctinio. So that's a bit more.
That makes a bit that works.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 10 That's more straight along the line, yeah.

Speaker 28 Scott McTinio.

Speaker 23 Yeah, yeah, Kula Hulo. Fascinating.

Speaker 28 It's always 100 million, isn't it?

Speaker 10 Yeah, that's the benchmark for these fictional players.

Speaker 19 Right, that's part one taken care of.

Speaker 26 We'll be back very shortly.

Speaker 68 If you thought goldenly breaded McDonald's chicken couldn't get more golden, think golder because new sweet and smoky special edition gold sauce is here.

Speaker 68 Made for your chicken favorites at Participate in McDonald's for limited time.

Speaker 70 Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

Speaker 71 I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

Speaker 3 He's going the distance.

Speaker 28 He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

Speaker 70 When it started to change, it was quick.

Speaker 73 He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Speaker 70 Now? Charlie's sober. He's going to tell you the truth.

Speaker 71 How do I present this with any class?

Speaker 70 I think we're past that, Charlie.

Speaker 71 We're past that, yeah.

Speaker 3 Somebody call action.

Speaker 74 Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Speaker 35 Welcome back to Football Clichés.

Speaker 32 A reminder that you can get in touch at football cliches at gmail.com.

Speaker 13 You can DM me on Twitter, Instagram, or get in touch on our Reddit page.

Speaker 9 Our Reddit page, Nick, has hit such popular heights that we are now level pegging with Wallace and Grommet, snorkeling, pencil stabbers.

Speaker 27 Now, this will require some explanation.

Speaker 23 This is a subreddit made for people who have been stabbed with a pencil and have a black dot.

Speaker 40 Shouldn't it be pencil stabbies?

Speaker 7 Yeah, true.

Speaker 25 In more mainstream senses, house music, Zen Buddhism, WWE memes, Makita, the power tools manufacturer manufacturer and sponsor of the best preseason tournament the revel was, Pizza Hutt, Ask a Priest, and Herpes Cure Research.

Speaker 21 Can't combine the last two.

Speaker 54 Shut up, right.

Speaker 18 Right, next up, this could be our new Finding the Three Lions punditry samples for the new era.

Speaker 13 This came from CJD, and we need everybody's help with this, if possible.

Speaker 23 He sent me an unlisted YouTube video, always the best types of YouTube video.

Speaker 22 This is of Clyde beating East Sterlingshire 7-1 in the Scottish Third Division back on the 15th of October 2011.

Speaker 22 Now, it's not the time of place you'd expect to hear goal music over the PA system, but after the seventh goal goes in, they played this.

Speaker 55 So, this is the original commentary for the Gazette of Football Italia.

Speaker 28 Football Italia.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 35 From what I can see on the internet day, there is no record of where that commentary sample has come from.

Speaker 13 No one's ever known where it's come from. This is the closest we're ever going to get.

Speaker 53 Someone in 2011 in the Clyde press box has found the commentary clip by Jose Altofini.

Speaker 28 And they definitely weren't just playing, because they weren't playing the theme tune, were they? With I couldn't hear any music underneath that.

Speaker 54 And crucially, crucially, obviously there's a lot of Brazilian Portuguese commentary before that.

Speaker 12 The goal goes in in the audio.

Speaker 6 You hear that Brazil.

Speaker 56 And they play that after every goal scored by Brazil in like the 80s and 90s on TV.

Speaker 13 So I'm pretty sure it's a Brazilian international goal.

Speaker 28 So that's one clue. It's not Italian.

Speaker 13 It's not Italian because he was a Brazilian-born Italian.

Speaker 13 He played for Brazil and Italy.

Speaker 22 And

Speaker 17 he became a commentator and pundit on Italian TV later on.

Speaker 12 So it's Portuguese. I sent it to Jack Lang.

Speaker 51 It was my first port of call for this.

Speaker 23 He couldn't quite make out because the audio wasn't good enough.

Speaker 13 But what makes me think that it's definitely this, you know, one piece of original audio, Nick, is that when you get to the famous audio at the end, he says it twice, and the second one is the one that's used.

Speaker 13 So it seems organic to me.

Speaker 13 They haven't taken the audio from Gazette and stuck it on the end of some other commentary. Why would they have done for a start?

Speaker 55 So we've got the original goal.

Speaker 34 We just need to find out what it is and when it was.

Speaker 21 This is huge.

Speaker 55 It's huge.

Speaker 21 Well, this is. This is going to consume our lives for months then.
Excellent.

Speaker 3 A little bit.

Speaker 28 Nick, surely you can give AC Jimbo a a call, can't you? See if he knows anything about the origins of this?

Speaker 11 Yeah,

Speaker 21 past kind of evidence and listening to Jimbo talking about this kind of thing, I suspect he won't know, but I will definitely ask him.

Speaker 26 Don't worry, I've put some feelers out.

Speaker 8 I've already messaged on LinkedIn the composer of the theme tune, Steve Dewberry.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 23 He hasn't got back to me yet.

Speaker 12 But yeah, we're going to get there. I mean, so I asked CJD, who says he's been looking into this for 10 years.

Speaker 52 His life's work.

Speaker 36 I know.

Speaker 35 I said to him, why don't you just ask the bloke who played it at the game?

Speaker 31 Like, surely you can get in touch with him.

Speaker 29 He says, no, no, I knew him.

Speaker 36 He was a friend of mine, but he went off to Australia and disappeared.

Speaker 50 Oh my God.

Speaker 28 He's been working on it for 10 years.

Speaker 50 The CIA have done him over.

Speaker 28 ITV will make a drama about it. You know, his marriage broke down.
He became estranged from his kids. He said,

Speaker 28 I can't give this up. I've got to keep fighting till the end.

Speaker 18 We're going to do it.

Speaker 20 We're going to do this.

Speaker 23 Imagine finding the original goal.

Speaker 21 This is a whole separate episode, this, I think.

Speaker 21 This could be your serial.

Speaker 28 Yeah, exactly. This is Cliches does true crime spin-off.

Speaker 13 The annoying thing is, it's tantalizingly close to being able to discern some words in the commentary.

Speaker 56 But if a.

Speaker 13 Maybe I need a native Brazilian Portuguese speaker.

Speaker 53 Sorry, Jack, you're not good enough.

Speaker 35 Right?

Speaker 21 Give Natalie Judger a shout. Yes.

Speaker 32 Why is the video unlisted on YouTube?

Speaker 9 What's going on?

Speaker 29 Where's the guy in Australia? Why is this?

Speaker 43 This is all mad.

Speaker 51 But we're going to do it.

Speaker 46 I will not rest until I have done this.

Speaker 23 Right, let's return to regular matters: footballers' names in things.

Speaker 34 First one comes from Ed Quoth the Raven.

Speaker 13 He says, this 1994 episode of The Bill opens with a footballers' names in things, appropriately, a character who only appeared in one episode.

Speaker 13 Helen.

Speaker 75 Good. Got my message.
Yeah, first thing.

Speaker 2 So what's up?

Speaker 75 I've heard a bit of news about someone you might be interested in. Like who? Dave Nugent.

Speaker 76 So what's Nugent been up to now?

Speaker 43 Yeah.

Speaker 46 I wanted it to be him, and it's always.

Speaker 43 I know it's going to be him.

Speaker 62 Amazing.

Speaker 15 This episode, Nick, aired on May the 26th, 1994, 31 years ago to the day as we record this.

Speaker 42 Isn't it nice when these things come together?

Speaker 21 Lovely stuff. David Nugent would have been what?

Speaker 49 Nine years old, I think.

Speaker 28 He nipped in just before Jermaine Defoe was about to commit the crime.

Speaker 30 Selling dodgy leather jackets, apparently.

Speaker 9 Big storyline and the bill.

Speaker 32 Right, next up, Michael Banks writes in, Dave, and says, a mate of mine plays rugby and made his international debut for the United Arab Emirates over the weekend, playing away in Kenya.

Speaker 46 That's a listen fair play, if ever I heard.

Speaker 46 So I'm reading the match report, and

Speaker 38 the UAE went 14-0 up at half-time.

Speaker 13 But after Kenya head coach Jerome Parwater's half-time talk, it seemed to awaken the Simbas, who came out roaring in the second half.

Speaker 47 Their efforts were rewarded when Bethel Anami scored under the posts, with Eric Cantanar converting to reduce the deficit to 7.14.

Speaker 28 Eric Cantanar's playing rugby for Kenya.

Speaker 25 Yep.

Speaker 13 Spelt with a K, I can tell you.

Speaker 9 But that's not where it ends.

Speaker 22 The Kenya Simbas roared back in the second half.

Speaker 25 and making it 47.24 with a try from Andy Cole Amolo.

Speaker 43 All one word.

Speaker 21 Hang on. There's something happening here.
Can't be a coincidence.

Speaker 20 Nope. Andy Cole, all one word.

Speaker 28 That's just a brilliant first name.

Speaker 15 And I've checked the squad.

Speaker 30 There's another guy called Teddy.

Speaker 47 Do they get along?

Speaker 43 Oh,

Speaker 13 it's all fun, isn't it? It's brilliant.

Speaker 34 Right. Next up, Neil Roach.

Speaker 25 He says, I listened to the Christian O'Connell show that's broadcast from Melbourne, Australia.

Speaker 23 He recently ran a feature on school teachers that had done something remarkable for a listener, and as a result, they were never forgotten.

Speaker 13 The woman that reads the news on the show, Patrina Jones, recounted a tale about her metalwork teacher.

Speaker 6 So this is very much the go on, go on, yeah of footballers' names in things.

Speaker 77 I remember we had to do this task of doing a bowl and I said, Mrs. Scholes, I'm really, you know, I'm really not getting this.
So if you'd ask him nice enough, he'd actually do it for you.

Speaker 69 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 77 He just loved it so much and he'd have a chat to you chatting away. What are you doing for the weekend? Yeah, yeah, and all this.
And then he'd go on to mark you with like an A plus

Speaker 77 because he had essentially made your project for his own work yes but it was delightful Paul Scholes he was a legend yes

Speaker 27 I was willing it to be Paul Sculles and it was Scoles of Melbourne yeah

Speaker 22 um finally not a footballer's names in things it's semi-iconic football quotes in things the Monaco Grand Prix Mercedes George Russell given a penalty of some kind had to drive through the pits without stopping really don't care about the details and his team were on the radio to him talking about what he had to do.

Speaker 10 And he replied with a, I prefer not to speak.

Speaker 11 No one would say that, surely.

Speaker 28 Did he do the accent?

Speaker 38 I mean, annoyingly, this is why we can't use the audio.

Speaker 13 The audio breaks up on his on his mic, so you can't really hear it, but he says it in a very stilted way, which makes me think he was sort of using the meme rather than saying it sincerely.

Speaker 28 I think not beyond him to do that. I've seen...
Okay. I think I've seen, you know, clips of him sort of joking around and kind of...
I could see it.

Speaker 28 I could see he's definitely dropping that in mid-race.

Speaker 14 mid-race fair enough next up in the aftermath of Tottenham ending their 17 year trophy drought by winning the Europa League I've seen some textbook trophy cabinet jokes trying to move the joke on a little bit but I've yet to see anyone quip about Spurs bringing out a DVD of the game I feel like that joke's kind of died a death a bit probably quite naturally I suppose some technology has put paid to it hasn't it but also that that joke is made about you know like nondescript wins in the league you know you beat someone 4-0

Speaker 28 and oh they'll be bringing a DVD out about that tomorrow, won't they?

Speaker 40 Well, they actually could bring a DVD. They should bring a DVD out of the Europa League final.

Speaker 45 This is going to be the crux of my entire point.

Speaker 55 Nick, Spurs should bring out a DVD of their Europa League final win.

Speaker 15 I know it was a shit game, but people would buy it.

Speaker 36 It would sell loads of copies.

Speaker 21 They would.

Speaker 21 It would be the least...

Speaker 21 Possibly the least actual watched DVD. It would just be a thing to have on your shelf because the game was so terrible.
Even the goal was rubbish. So, yeah, just a thing to say, look, there it is.

Speaker 21 That's when we win the Europa League.

Speaker 22 Well, I I mean, if anyone could ever sort of analyse the metrics of DVDs of full games, Dave, they probably must be amongst the least watched or at least completed form of DVD.

Speaker 39 Because, I mean, I've owned a couple in my time.

Speaker 10 I think I had Germany won England five in 2001.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 27 I don't think I've watched all.

Speaker 15 I just skipped to the goals.

Speaker 48 So I'm not watching the whole thing.

Speaker 13 I've had the 1966 World Cup final, which is a joker.

Speaker 57 I've got that one.

Speaker 55 It's rubbish. It's so hard to watch.

Speaker 24 It is.

Speaker 28 Colourised or black and white have you got?

Speaker 31 It's a good question. I think it...

Speaker 59 I don't know.

Speaker 20 I don't know.

Speaker 43 That's probably a deluxe edition.

Speaker 28 We're both out there.

Speaker 22 Yeah. Steel book case.

Speaker 39 But it begs the question, Nick.

Speaker 11 What is the highest selling DVD of a single game ever?

Speaker 31 And what do you think was the peak era for full games on DVD?

Speaker 21 It kind of feels like

Speaker 21 maybe...

Speaker 21 to

Speaker 58 sort of mid-late 2000s maybe big games of the mid-2000s Liverpool Milan yeah that's I mean who's ever called it that why have I said Liverpool Milan That's what people call it, don't they?

Speaker 3 Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 23 Yeah, the 2005 Champions League final.

Speaker 10 That's got DVD written all over it.

Speaker 28 I think so, because I've just had a look at a very quick Google for sort of high point of DVD sales. Yeah.
And the IMDb lists the best-selling DVD of all time is Finding Nemo.

Speaker 28 So that's 2004, something like that, or three. So, yeah, the mid-noughties.
Mid-naughties, I think, is your real sort of high point for DVD. So, yeah.

Speaker 58 And we're counting Blu-ray in this, right?

Speaker 28 I think so. Yeah.

Speaker 28 But, yeah, so I could see the miracle of Istanbul being right up there.

Speaker 13 Infuriatingly, Amazon's algorithm is not helping me out here, Nick, in terms of telling me what the most best-selling single-game football DVD is.

Speaker 13 I've checked their rankings, I've sorted it by best-selling.

Speaker 11 And the first game, single game that came up, was the FA Cup final of 1963. Man United versus Leicester.

Speaker 50 Surely 4.7 stars on Amazon.

Speaker 43 Sucking hell.

Speaker 3 22 quid if you're up for it.

Speaker 21 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 23 As recently as the Lionesses winning Euro 2022, that's on DVD, Dave.

Speaker 38 Not a single game.

Speaker 13 It's the whole tournament in review.

Speaker 31 So people were still buying that.

Speaker 28 Yeah. I was more of a

Speaker 28 season review man than a single game.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 28 I've got two or three Watford season reviews from

Speaker 28 around that mid-naughties period.

Speaker 28 The thing is, like, with the DVDs, the best thing about DVDs were, for me anyway, were all the special features and the extra scenes.

Speaker 28 You know, you can't really really have a deleted scene in a football match, can you? But you could have a commentary.

Speaker 28 I reckon you get Ange commentating over the top of the game. Well, people would pay to watch that.

Speaker 22 At least get the set piece coach or something like that.

Speaker 32 Yeah, just a couple of sort of

Speaker 13 second-tier behind-the-scenes people.

Speaker 32 But yeah, get in touch.

Speaker 13 If you have a DVD of a single game, that's a good day to know how recent a phenomenon this is and whether you've watched the whole thing. Right.

Speaker 61 Now, Dave, you observed the other day, has there ever been a footballer with a more rugby name than George Earthy?

Speaker 13 Yes. It occurred to you while you were watching him play the other day.

Speaker 28 Yeah, I was watching Bristol City, Sheffield United in the playoff semi-finals and Bristol City's George Earthy. He's online from West Ham, I believe.

Speaker 28 And it just, both component parts of that just were, you know, George, George is a very rugby name. Yep.
And Earthy, it just, it just screams. England rugby to me.

Speaker 22 But specifically, like number 10 as well, like a ruggedly handsome number 10

Speaker 22 competing amongst six others ruggedly handsome blokes to play number 10 for England.

Speaker 58 Yeah.

Speaker 28 I don't know what a number 10 is in rugby, really.

Speaker 22 It's like the quarterback, isn't it?

Speaker 28 It's not one of the big fat lads up front, is it?

Speaker 23 No, he does the kicking and the chipping

Speaker 58 and the gaming. Yeah, that marks.

Speaker 28 Exactly, yeah. That's what you want to say.

Speaker 4 Let's stop this, chat.

Speaker 61 He's getting very much into kicky balls.

Speaker 21 Joey Wilkinson was a number 10, I think.

Speaker 22 Exactly right.

Speaker 38 But yeah, you're spot on with this, Dave.

Speaker 13 So it did make me wonder about other Premier League players who have names that belong in other sports.

Speaker 24 JT158 says Flynn Downs as another rugbyman.

Speaker 28 Yeah, quite a lot of shouts for him. Yeah, I don't mind it.
But as with all these things, there's a vibe when you know it's right. And I don't know, yeah, it's a bit too obvious.
That one.

Speaker 27 This was a left field one.

Speaker 41 Old Breakfast 2666 says Brett Ormerod for the All Blacks.

Speaker 28 Great.

Speaker 43 That's great.

Speaker 61 Because I can only picture Brett Ormerod this sort of spindly.

Speaker 20 Brett Ormorod.

Speaker 3 Brett Ormerod.

Speaker 12 Ollie Watkins could be a...

Speaker 74 could play for the England rugby team.

Speaker 3 Definitely.

Speaker 21 I've got a little big list of these. I've got Ollie Watkins down as a cricketer.
Okay.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 54 Ollie's very cricket.

Speaker 21 Yeah, he's like good kind of county player. He's got four caps for England as a sort of traditional English conditioned seam bowler.

Speaker 28 Would he be Oliver Watkins if he was a rugby player?

Speaker 6 Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 3 He could be. Yeah.

Speaker 58 Yeah.

Speaker 13 A crucial detail there.

Speaker 18 He's not a spinner.

Speaker 23 It absolutely has to be.

Speaker 21 No, very much so.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I might well reveal my methodology here, which was going to the FBL transfers page and starting with the goalkeepers.

Speaker 18 Matt Sells and Burnt Leno both ooze Formula One to me.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Burnt Leno.

Speaker 21 On a similar vibe, I had Bart Verbruggin as an F1 guy.

Speaker 3 I do like that.

Speaker 23 I had him in my list as a swimmer, and then I took him out because I thought Mark Flecken was more swimmy.

Speaker 21 Yes, that's correct. Yeah.

Speaker 10 200-metre butterfly, Mark Flecken.

Speaker 23 Alison Becker, Dave, is a skier.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 20 She's the new Lindsay Vaughan.

Speaker 28 Yeah, okay, nice.

Speaker 21 I had Alison Becker down as a German heptathlete.

Speaker 30 Cheap last, but I'm really enjoying it.

Speaker 11 Josko Gavardiol, pure NBA.

Speaker 18 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 22 Martin Dubravka, Mark Kukurella, and Milos Kirkes are all Wimbledon qualifiers and cause a first-round upset against someone who's supposed to be, you know, in competition for the title.

Speaker 28 Yeah, we need Charlie here really to adjudicate on that one. I'm sure he'd find somebody to take issue issue with.

Speaker 29 Yeah, I don't know about that actually.

Speaker 28 There was actually a player in the 80s,

Speaker 28 Mark Cucurella.

Speaker 21 I had a couple of couple of Jacks, Jack Taylor and Jack Harrison, as like the English player who wins like the Wimbledon Boys Championship.

Speaker 21 And a lot is thought of and then they just completely disappear.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 56 Either that or they're playing an English tennis player in a film.

Speaker 58 But yeah.

Speaker 28 Davis Cup sort of make up the numbers, merchants.

Speaker 18 Slightly higher up the tennis food chain, maybe top 100 in the ATP rankings.

Speaker 9 Thomas Suchek, a perennial Grand Slam bridesmaid.

Speaker 28 Yeah, struggled with injuries, though, so never quite fulfilled his potential, but did win one.

Speaker 40 Did a serving check.

Speaker 28 Did win an Australian Open once. We probably should have won a few more.

Speaker 20 Cole Palmer, golf.

Speaker 13 But I can't work out which team he's playing for in the Ryder Cup.

Speaker 28 I think he's on the live tour.

Speaker 28 It's good fun, this. We could go all day.

Speaker 23 Yeah, we really, really could.

Speaker 21 Instantly went to the US MNT page of this one. Apparently, they've got a player called Walker Zimmerman, who is a...
That's a golfer if I've ever heard of it.

Speaker 41 That is, that is a golfer.

Speaker 22 Walker Zimmerman III, I'd hope. Yeah.

Speaker 61 Oh, tremendous. Yeah, real end of season feel on the Public Glitches podcast.

Speaker 21 I had Maxen's Lacroix as a cyclist.

Speaker 51 Oh, okay. I didn't know what to do with Lacroix.

Speaker 58 I like it. Yeah.

Speaker 31 Track or road?

Speaker 21 Rhodes. Tour de France.
A few more rugby players. Swansea defender Harry Darling.

Speaker 3 Oh. That's rugby.

Speaker 28 Yeah, you're right. Because I think I looking at at the Reddit replies to this, and a lot of people instantly go for the double-barreled names as if

Speaker 28 they go for the obvious sort of what they think is like, oh, double-barreled posh boys playing rugby.

Speaker 28 But if you look at the current England rugby union team, I think there's only three or four double barrels.

Speaker 28 It's not completely overrun with them.

Speaker 28 There's more, I think it works better with like a George, a Harry, a Tom, a short one-syllable first name, and then then a two-syllable second name. So I think Will Smallbone is perfect.

Speaker 21 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.

Speaker 52 That's really good.

Speaker 54 Yeah, he's very front row, actually, Will Smallbone.

Speaker 8 Harry Darling, though, crucially, will be the one player in this card who sticks to Movember religiously every year.

Speaker 58 Absolutely.

Speaker 51 Movember stalwart.

Speaker 21 Dwight McNeil doesn't sound like a footballer's name, but I can't place... what sport he should be playing.

Speaker 49 Baseball?

Speaker 21 Mate, no, I don't. Dwight's not very baseball.
I wonder about basketball.

Speaker 8 Dwight is more basketball.

Speaker 63 NASCAR?

Speaker 21 No, that's not bad. Yeah.

Speaker 37 Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a lovely little flourish to end on.
Bit of NASCAR.

Speaker 3 I'm all for that.

Speaker 18 Definitely not Formula One. Absolutely NASCAR.

Speaker 16 And with that, we'll take a short break. See you in a minute.

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Speaker 30 I'm Scott Hanson, host of NFL Red Zone.

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Speaker 34 Right, next up, Aiden Smith writes in.

Speaker 24 He says, I enjoyed the mates vs.

Speaker 22 Fellas Five Aside chat last week.

Speaker 13 On the theme of not knowing people's names in playing Five Aside, I'm living in Gibraltar for my sins.

Speaker 9 And a friend of mine traveled over the border to Spain.

Speaker 24 That's quite funny in its own right.

Speaker 23 For a game one night recently, he was slightly lost, not knowing any names and speaking no Spanish.

Speaker 44 At the end of the game, our other friend, who is Spanish, came up to him and said, you played well, mate, but why did you keep shouting see?

Speaker 13 C.

Speaker 23 Had never considered until this point that yes wouldn't be the universal way of asking for the ball, apparently not in Spain.

Speaker 23 I mean we established last week dad that I'm such a yes merchant when it comes to Fiverside. I think it ticks all the functional boxes, but I didn't think it wouldn't work in other languages.

Speaker 28 More sophisticated, aren't they?

Speaker 59 All you need to know is let them know you're there.

Speaker 11 Having said that, I wouldn't go for a game in Paris and say we, we.

Speaker 13 I just, I don't know, just feel like it has the same urgency.

Speaker 28 Yeah, what do they use, though? That's the that's the question. There has to be something, there's got to be some sort of shorthand thing, unless they are saying, what's mates and fellas in Spanish?

Speaker 28 They're just going to be running around saying amigos.

Speaker 43 I don't think they are.

Speaker 46 Going over the border to play a fellow side game, that's class.

Speaker 34 Right.

Speaker 19 Final note for my listeners comes from Harrance, Dave.

Speaker 8 He says, referring to the UEFA Conference League as the conference is irresponsible, lazy journalism and sure to denigrate a competition already struggling for legitimacy.

Speaker 25 Are we in danger of just calling it the conference from now on?

Speaker 13 I mean, you know, the original conference doesn't exist anymore, so I think we're all right. We've got a free run at this.

Speaker 28 Yeah, because you do, you call the Europa League the Europa. That's

Speaker 28 increasingly common. So, yeah, they'll be in the Europa.
And then, you know, Brighton, if they finish eighth, they'll be in the conference.

Speaker 59 It's natural. It's bound to happen, Nick.

Speaker 32 This is going to catch on.

Speaker 74 The conference.

Speaker 21 And

Speaker 21 when was the conference, the old conference, changed to the National League? It's quite a while ago, wasn't it?

Speaker 17 10 years, at least.

Speaker 21 At least 10 years, yeah. So, you know, I think there's enough air between them.

Speaker 48 Agreed.

Speaker 62 I agree.

Speaker 36 Anyway, it's time for Keys and Grey Corner.

Speaker 24 Just a couple of tiny matters for you.

Speaker 13 Richard Keyes has been trailing his one big transfer scoop of the summer for about a week now.

Speaker 22 It's all academic because Manchester United lost the Europa League final, so he's decided to reveal all anyway.

Speaker 72 Had a whisper on Grealish. Did you? Go on.

Speaker 72 It might be affected by the fact that Manchester United have lost

Speaker 72 the Europa League final, but I was told that had United won it and therefore qualified to play in the Champions League, he would be signing for them this summer.

Speaker 72 Okay, I see that.

Speaker 74 He lives up there.

Speaker 60 Andy Gray's logic there is superb.

Speaker 62 He lives up there.

Speaker 43 Yeah, he does. It's true.

Speaker 23 It's a massive consideration 2025.

Speaker 28 Could sign for Salford City, could sign for

Speaker 28 Berry, Oldham. If Oldham win the National League, the conference playoff final next weekend, there you go, Jack.

Speaker 7 Get in there.

Speaker 23 Poor old Keesy Nick, his transfer scoop just not quite coming to fruition, but he's in the know, and that's the main thing.

Speaker 13 He wants us to know that.

Speaker 21 It does feel like, I don't want to be sceptical about this. It does feel like quite an easy get out.

Speaker 21 Well, if they would have won the Europa League, then it would have, it definitely would have happened, and I would have been right, but they didn't. So, yeah.

Speaker 23 Um, they go on to suggest that Greash would be a good signing for Everton, Dave.

Speaker 35 Um, and Keesy just instinctively comes out with the reasoning: they love a 10.

Speaker 29 They love a 10. Do they?

Speaker 3 Do they?

Speaker 11 Everton loved number nine. Surely, they're the ultimate lover number nine club.

Speaker 28 They love a 10.

Speaker 59 Everton notable Everton number tens?

Speaker 28 James Rodriguez.

Speaker 57 Look how that turned out.

Speaker 43 Right.

Speaker 41 Second of all, this is Keys and Gray doing what they do best, looking at their massive screen in the BN Sports Studios with a list of things on it and then just talking about it.

Speaker 72 What are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 41 These are our six Champions League qualifiers.

Speaker 72 It's

Speaker 72 for me.

Speaker 72 Obviously, I grew up with the European Cup, but I can't get my head around this. Six English sides.
Six. And we call it the Champions League.

Speaker 67 Come on.

Speaker 41 Yeah,

Speaker 41 it's a super league, isn't it?

Speaker 72 An all button name. Do you like that? Do you like it?

Speaker 72 Sex. I'm uncomfortable.
Yeah.

Speaker 72 It doesn't.

Speaker 72 No, but it's the era we live in, Andy.

Speaker 72 No, no.

Speaker 41 It could have been seven.

Speaker 72 We should be thankful for that. Could this be

Speaker 67 four?

Speaker 46 What a tipping point that would have been.

Speaker 4 But Dave, you know, in the grand scheme of sailed ships, lamenting multiple english teams being in the champions league is is right up there i'm sorry lads it's not a 1992 anymore yeah i know come on yeah and maybe six is too many as always nick there is a kernel of of of logic a debate in what they're saying is six teams too many could have been seven could have been seven and their heads would have simply seven would have been too many fair play it was just

Speaker 21 it was particularly the use of the and they call it the champions league yeah

Speaker 46 as soon as keesy said it's a super league I knew Andy Gray was going to say, in all but nim, in all but nim.

Speaker 28 Bit raw for you, probably still, though, Nick, isn't it?

Speaker 21 This one? I'm talking myself round.

Speaker 21 Someone pointed out that one of the qualifiers, other qualifiers for the conference league, the conference, sorry, is a Portuguese side from the Azores. So that

Speaker 21 I'm talking myself around to it now.

Speaker 3 Is Daniel Story doing the doing all the way for conference league?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 60 I look forward to that.

Speaker 40 Right. Thanks to you, Nick Miller.

Speaker 24 Thank you.

Speaker 31 Thanks to you, Dave Walker.

Speaker 56 Thank you. Thanks to everyone for listening.

Speaker 35 We'll be back on Thursday with some guests for Mezza Harlan Dicks.

Speaker 22 See you then.