Marmoush's hat-trick of Etihad gasps, Messi in Mobland & what makes a "shrewd" signing

47m
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Will Still’s inevitable English football unveiling edges closer, the Etihad reaction to Omar Marmoush’s wonder goal, Lionel Messi pops up in Mobland, mid-table Eredivisie clubs in sci-fi novels and some glorious Anglo-Italian commentary from Serie A.

Meanwhile, the panel decide what makes a signing "shrewd" and hear a story of some overengineered 6-a-side organisation.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Runtime: 47m

Transcript

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Speaker 25 See Center for Details. The UPS store.
Be unstoppable. Come into your local store today.

Speaker 26 I'm sorry. You can sit there and look and play with all your silly machines as much as you like.

Speaker 24 Is Gas going to have a crack?

Speaker 28 Yes, you know. Oh, I think

Speaker 28 brilliant.

Speaker 28 But jeez!

Speaker 28 He's round the goalkeeper. He's done it!

Speaker 28 Absolutely incredible! He launched himself six feet into the crowd and Kung Fu kicked a supporter who was eyewit without a shadow of a doubt getting him lip. Oh, I say!

Speaker 28 It's amazing! He does it tame and tame and tame again. Break up the music! Charge a glass!

Speaker 28 This nation is going to dance all night long!

Speaker 29 Will Still's inevitable English football unveiling edges closer.

Speaker 29 Omar Mahmoud's triple gasp eliciting Venn diagram occupying unacceptably late contender for goal of the season, some ludicrously overengineered six-aside naming conventions, Leonor Messi in Mobland, mid-table EridaVisi clubs in sci-fi novels, shrewd signings, Tammy Abraham's wide-open future, and Fabrizio Kisano with the latest transfer tittle-tattle.

Speaker 30 Brought to your ears by Goal Hanger Podcasts.

Speaker 32 This is Football Clichés.

Speaker 4 Hello, everyone, and welcome to Football Clichés.

Speaker 8 I'm Adam Hurry. This is the Midweek Adjudication Panel.

Speaker 15 Joining me is Charlie Eccleshere.

Speaker 34 How you doing?

Speaker 2 Very well, thank you.

Speaker 4 And alongside you is David Walker.

Speaker 5 How you doing? I'm good.

Speaker 4 Straight off the bat then, Reddit user, they perhaps can't see you, which is a great reference. Said he's amazed to realise how long I've known this voice.

Speaker 5 This is from a random YouTube video of Radio 1 stings.

Speaker 30 This is BBC Radio 1.

Speaker 30 It's David Walker's voice again

Speaker 39 in Radio 1 branding.

Speaker 38 It is.

Speaker 5 You happy with that one?

Speaker 13 That is me. Back in, that would have been from around 2009,

Speaker 13 between 2009 and 2012, maybe, something like that.

Speaker 3 Well, that was actually you.

Speaker 9 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 41 What?

Speaker 20 Yeah, I thought that must be. That has to be it.

Speaker 41 This is not the answer I was expecting.

Speaker 8 I was expecting you to go, yeah, I suppose it does sound a bit like me, but what?

Speaker 9 What?

Speaker 13 I basically, long story,

Speaker 13 I sort of won a competition to be the voice of, male voice of daytime Radio 1 jingles for a few years back at a student radio event.

Speaker 8 Charlie, what percentage of my disbelief are you currently sharing?

Speaker 20 Not that much. I did think that was him.
Yeah, and I even, from the year, I thought, oh, I wonder if that's like around the time you graduated and it was some studenty thing.

Speaker 28 Bloody hell.

Speaker 13 The first time that I was on, which this really dates it, I remember listening. They told me, right, your stuff's going to go live from tomorrow morning.
It was on a Saturday.

Speaker 13 And the first show that had my voice on it was Chappers and Dave doing weekend breakfast. Mark Chapman hosting a show on Radio 1 with Comedy Dave.

Speaker 44 Dave's all over the place. This is a star.
I'm actually blown away.

Speaker 42 This has completely thrown me. I did not expect this to happen.

Speaker 15 This has completely undermined my following clip because, lest we forget, this is when Dave's voice also popped up in a video of Phil Foden playing foot golf on holiday.

Speaker 20 No pressure.

Speaker 20 That sounds more like you than the Radio One does.

Speaker 13 That was not me.

Speaker 20 Wait, that wasn't you. Okay, okay, good.
We've got some mind-blowing comedy.

Speaker 13 Men actually won a competition to play foot golf with Phil Foden.

Speaker 45 Wait, play that again?

Speaker 20 No pressure. It really is.
Oh, it is.

Speaker 48 It's so similar. I'm trying to think, like...
No pressure.

Speaker 23 The slight difference.

Speaker 20 The shirt is a little bit different. But yeah, that's eerily close.

Speaker 15 It's just like when you see him at the public, goes, all right, fella.

Speaker 20 You're right.

Speaker 4 Meanwhile, in asking for some correspondence from our listeners, I made the huge mistake of asking them for their corrections as well.

Speaker 33 And boy, did they go deep.

Speaker 13 Someone wrote and said, aghast to hear Dave refer to Richard Key standing on the Burj Khalifa with a telescope that's in Dubai not Doha but understandable error as it's a niche topic well I I actually went back to someone who mentioned this on the Reddit page it wasn't a mistake it's a joke lads

Speaker 13 it's the most notable building in the region right

Speaker 13 if I'd pick like the random hotel from Doha he's not going to land as well is it

Speaker 20 I really respect that post-rationalization um charlie do you know who this correction came from?

Speaker 8 Instagram page, Tall Buildings Daily.

Speaker 20 So if anybody knows a thing or two, it's them.

Speaker 13 All things, tall buildings.

Speaker 20 Yeah, but that supports Dave's argument in a way because, yeah, obviously, like, you're experts.

Speaker 20 For that small subset of people, yes, it would have landed better if he'd said someone specific in Doha. But yeah, I agree with Dave.
For the majority, they're not going to know or care.

Speaker 5 Oh, a swing and a miss from Tall Buildings Daily.

Speaker 4 But yeah, no more corrections, really, because Mike Greenway sent this in.

Speaker 34 He says, hi, Adam, just listened to episode 164.

Speaker 11 And David Walker just used the phrase gathering a bit of steam.

Speaker 57 Surely you can get ahead of steam or gather momentum.

Speaker 8 You can't gather steam.

Speaker 18 I'm not having it.

Speaker 8 Dave, there has to be a statute of limitations on this. That was 262 episodes ago.

Speaker 58 Yeah, fair play.

Speaker 13 Look, if you want to comb back through the archives, I'm sure there's plenty more where that came from.

Speaker 20 Yeah, that's quite gratifying because that almost implies that that person is going through each and every one.

Speaker 20 And if that's all that's being turned up,

Speaker 20 you take that all day.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it'll only be me and it'll only be me and Davey who suffer from this.

Speaker 19 All Charlie's mistakes get edited out after he picks them out himself.

Speaker 59 So let's adjudication panel.

Speaker 27 This came from Football Cliche's artwork ace, Eamon Dalton, who was watching Sunderland versus Coventry in the playoffs last week.

Speaker 16 And he asks, Is this a new world record for the quickest a rhetorical question from the commentator has been answered by their co-commentator?

Speaker 26 Sakamoto's grass hatching right.

Speaker 20 Was that the moment?

Speaker 31 Yes.

Speaker 20 That was it.

Speaker 45 Now, we've covered rhetorical questions from commentators a lot on this podcast recently, Charlie.

Speaker 17 I'm not 100% sure if that is a rhetorical question traditionally.

Speaker 8 Is that the moment, or was that the moment?

Speaker 15 Is that something that actually wants an answer, warrants one?

Speaker 20 No, I think that is often rhetorical because it is a kind of like, what, you know, it's almost like a will, will they get another chance?

Speaker 36 Is there to be one final twist?

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 49 Was that it?

Speaker 20 I mean, it reminds me, which was a self-answer, but I remember sending one in that we used used last year where ian crocker said how many how many chances are they're gonna miss loads

Speaker 20 such a good response

Speaker 13 yeah i don't know co-commentators just can't help themselves but yeah dave are you are you happy with um was that the moment being being a question that should just float in the air yeah i don't think it needs to be answered but i think that i mean there was i think there was like 30 seconds left or something who was that andy was that don goodman or just think the classic question was it goodman or hinchcliffe i was never

Speaker 66 but it was Don Goodman.

Speaker 13 Yeah, but I mean, if

Speaker 13 Weaver doesn't say that, the co-commentator can come in and just say, that was the moment, that was the chance.

Speaker 58 Yeah.

Speaker 13 But they've covered it from both sides, I guess.

Speaker 62 That's right.

Speaker 15 Next up, it's happening, Jason McAteer.

Speaker 4 It is happening.

Speaker 67 Still? Is it? I think he's still. He's in France.
Is he in France? He's enormously underrated and he's done a fantastic job. Will still

Speaker 67 coach? Frank. Frank Lampo.
Yeah.

Speaker 67 Will still is a good time. No,

Speaker 67 I think he's done a

Speaker 20 few times.

Speaker 41 I'll never get bored of the clip ever.

Speaker 59 But Dave, it's happening.

Speaker 6 Thingy still is coming to English football.

Speaker 8 Southampton, The Guardian report, are accelerating plans to appoint Will Still as their head coach.

Speaker 63 If Saints make sufficient progress in the coming days, they hope the 32-year-old will be in the stands when they host Arsenal on Sunday.

Speaker 56 Should Will still be in the Premier League?

Speaker 44 I feel like he should be at a distance at all times, Thingy Still.

Speaker 13 Well, he'll be in the championship next season, of course.

Speaker 13 And I think that's the right sort of introduction for him into English football.

Speaker 13 I noticed something the other day in connection with this I think it was I think it was Sky Sports and I we've got to keep our eye out for these.

Speaker 13 They were asking a question as to whether he would be successful in the job and went with will Will still be successful at Southampton.

Speaker 19 It does feel very right Will still to Southampton.

Speaker 33 They are the sort of club I would expect Will still

Speaker 33 to be appointed by if he was to come to English football Charlie.

Speaker 8 But more pertinently, Charlie, the Arsenal game will come 34 days after his appearance on Monday night football. So the Monday Night Football just doing Monday Night Football things.

Speaker 64 Yeah,

Speaker 20 it does feel right, especially because he can have the sort of trajectory of they might get promoted, but then he'll stick to that philosophy in the Premier League and it'll go really badly.

Speaker 20 And after 10 or 15 games, we can all have that debate. I was wondering as well, could this be an ultimate sort of realising the scale of the task in front of you if he is in the stands?

Speaker 20 You know, getting to watch them probably get battered by Arsenal. Yeah.
Yeah, there'll be a lot for him to learn and take away.

Speaker 69 Yeah, that's a huge task on his hands situation.

Speaker 13 No danger of Patrick Davison going up into the stands and misidentifying him like you did with that Huddersfield manager a few years ago.

Speaker 54 Perhaps not.

Speaker 69 Now he's been on Sky, but that was what an incredible moment that was, Patrick Davison.

Speaker 44 Yeah, yeah, he's airbrushed that out of his career now.

Speaker 22 I think he's got over that.

Speaker 53 Elsewhere on

Speaker 4 Tuesday night, the forgotten Premier League game, Manchester City seeing off Bournemouth And Omar Marmouche coming with a very late contender, Dave, for goal of the season.

Speaker 63 An astonishing goal, really.

Speaker 9 Cracking hit.

Speaker 56 But it would narrowly miss out on being the latest goal of the season, date-wise.

Speaker 7 Jack Wilshire 2015 and Julio Enciso 2023 both came on May the 24th.

Speaker 52 But I feel very uncomfortable.

Speaker 72 I've said this before.

Speaker 5 I feel very uncomfortable about a late winner.

Speaker 7 of goal of the season.

Speaker 39 It doesn't feel right.

Speaker 9 It should be

Speaker 35 in the fleshy middle of a Premier League season.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I was thinking about this the other day when I was at the last Watford game of the season. They handed out goal of the season on the pitch before kickoff.

Speaker 13 Leaving yourselves wide open to someone scoring an incredible goal in the last game. And then, you know, what do you do?

Speaker 20 Because especially Wilshears was the very last game. And Cezo's was the midweek just before.

Speaker 20 And Wilshears, do you remember, was the one that prompted them to change how they did it because it was a public vote. Yeah.

Speaker 20 And, you know, Wilshire's

Speaker 20 was an amazing goal.

Speaker 64 But it does feel weird.

Speaker 20 I think, again, I think it's what we were talking about the other day, the recency bias fear that you're just picking it because it's the last goal you can remember.

Speaker 13 It's also, I mean, I suppose this could probably apply to goals scored in August as well, maybe, but it just sort of feels like

Speaker 20 they're not as serious. They don't mean as much.

Speaker 13 In this game against Bournemouth, it's sort of like, yeah,

Speaker 20 do that in December, mate. Yeah, there's less riding on it, isn't it? We can all have a pop from 30 yards and a dead game.

Speaker 15 It's like getting a gold star at school on the last day when everyone's mucking about.

Speaker 46 Like, it doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 20 It's not real football.

Speaker 10 Jack Wilsh's goal, an astonishing goal.

Speaker 27 I just can't see it being scored in January.

Speaker 3 It doesn't make sense to me.

Speaker 34 And Cito's goal and Marmusha's goal were basically just fuck it.

Speaker 36 I'm on going on holiday in 10 days' time, kind of hits us up.

Speaker 44 Yeah, fuck it, might as well.

Speaker 48 Do you know what?

Speaker 20 Especially, because that Wilshire one, that was a half. I think Arsenal went fawn and up in that first half.

Speaker 48 And that's such an end-of-season engagement.

Speaker 20 They fight

Speaker 20 every Emirates' last game ever. It's just, it's, it's just not proper.
Yeah, sure. always falling up at halftime.

Speaker 13 If you want the change for match of the day next season, lads, introduce a bit of context into goal of the season, please.

Speaker 41 Yeah, they should wait it.

Speaker 20 Charlie will come on and do it.

Speaker 45 Oh, don't, don't, don't mess with the tradition.

Speaker 53 Right, John T.

Speaker 22 Peacock on the back of that says, let me be probably the 20th person to flag the incredible full crowd gasp, and again and again when they saw the replay of the 14th minute Marmouche goal.

Speaker 73 This is absolutely stunning, isn't it?

Speaker 73 He just drifted into the central area and the Bournemouth back line back off. You've got no right to score from there, though.

Speaker 73 Must be all of

Speaker 73 the best part of 30 yards out. Look at the dip and the swerve and the

Speaker 73 power on the ball. There's no goalkeeper in the world saving that.

Speaker 73 That's an absolute belter for Marmouche.

Speaker 13 A hat-trick of satisfied gasps.

Speaker 63 Very much warranted it.

Speaker 8 And the sort of goal, Charlie, that you would probably would appreciate extra angles of it where you were in the stadium.

Speaker 20 Yeah, yeah, some of those do give it some extra context.

Speaker 18 Yeah,

Speaker 69 they fit very nicely.

Speaker 37 Chris Sutton there, Dave, describing as all of the best part of 35 yards.

Speaker 20 He can't have both.

Speaker 20 He really doubts himself. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Surprisingly non-committal from Chris Sutton.

Speaker 13 It was a great goal for something that came up in one of the listeners' MHDs recently,

Speaker 13 looking at the reactions of people in the crowd behind it. Because it was such a sort of loopy one.
It didn't necessarily look like it was going to go top corner as soon as it came off his boot.

Speaker 13 So it took, you know, a second or two for some of the slow-motion faces in the crowd to realise what was happening.

Speaker 62 Yeah, just a pretty modern trajectory as well, Charlie. It just kept on going as well.

Speaker 10 It's a sort of goal you just didn't see 20 years ago.

Speaker 20 Yeah, it was a real these modern bulls move.

Speaker 40 Omer Chowdhury writes in, Dave, and said, Chris Sutton on Sky said Marmouche had no right to score from there.

Speaker 4 Yet watching it, I felt like he had every right to have a go.

Speaker 8 Is this one of those rare goals in the Venn diagram overlap between the two?

Speaker 20 He's spot on.

Speaker 13 Yeah, and he is in a lot of space.

Speaker 13 And as you say, the sort of context of the game, you'd be annoyed if he didn't shoot from there in that situation, if he just sort of tucked it out wide.

Speaker 35 This is why Omer Chowdhury is the chief intelligence officer of Football Think Tank 21st Group, Charlie.

Speaker 20 Yeah, I was going to say, just crunch the numbers. Work it out definitively.

Speaker 36 Yeah, he gets the game.

Speaker 57 Love Think Tank.

Speaker 61 Great opportunity to use that on the Football Clichés pod.

Speaker 11 Now, Joanne Sinclair had his attention directed towards BBC Sports' Facebook post of Crystal Palace's win against Wolves.

Speaker 57 And it said, Crystal Palace, come from behind to get the win against wolves.

Speaker 16 Someone instantly replied on Facebook saying, come from behind at 24 minutes.

Speaker 61 That's pushing it a bit, don't you think?

Speaker 6 A comeback is when you are like two goals down, not just one goal.

Speaker 3 I know technically it is, but it's nothing to note.

Speaker 52 So just a recap on how the the goals went in, Dave.

Speaker 38 It was 1-0 Wolves, then it went 3-1 Palace, then 3-2, then 4-2.

Speaker 53 Are you alright with them being described as coming from behind in that situation?

Speaker 13 And Palace's first goal was just three minutes after Wolves' opener as well.

Speaker 22 Does that factor in?

Speaker 13 It's not like they had a long spell where they were...

Speaker 5 Rappling at the door.

Speaker 20 That's not a word.

Speaker 66 Rappling at the door.

Speaker 21 Not a word, but it should be.

Speaker 28 They're rappling at the door here.

Speaker 3 But I didn't think of that aspect of it.

Speaker 20 Technically, it is correct, I suppose, but it doesn't feel like it tells the story yeah my main issue is is i mean oh yeah clearly it's facts factually correct my main issue is how much happens between them going behind and like if it had just finished 2-1 yeah so wolves went ahead wolves went one and up in 24th minute then palace scored in the 27th and 32nd so if it just stayed 2-1

Speaker 20 then i think yeah they come from behind to get the win against wolves and that's the story of the match they were behind then they were ahead job done but so much then happens the fact that it finishes 4-2, the fact that they build a 3-1 lead, like that to me more would be like Crystal Palace survive late scare to win against Wolves.

Speaker 20 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 44 That survive late scare was going to come into this fair play.

Speaker 20 That feels more relevant. Like, I feel like

Speaker 20 them going behind is almost in the category of, like, oh, it feels a long time ago now, doesn't it?

Speaker 20 Since Wolves went ahead.

Speaker 28 Like, there'll be some people looking at that and be like, oh, yeah, we were behind. Yeah, I forgot.

Speaker 45 You really have to look at it.

Speaker 3 I mean, it doesn't really tell the story.

Speaker 8 But, Dave, the correspondent on Facebook really did move the goalposts here. Having taken issue with the phrase come from behind, they said, a comeback is when you were like two goals down.

Speaker 39 A comeback is completely...

Speaker 10 I mean, it's not, it's a more enhanced situation than coming from behind.

Speaker 7 A comeback is, as he says, at least two goals down.

Speaker 8 It becomes the entire narrative of the game.

Speaker 9 But

Speaker 4 a comeback is never from 1-0 down, is it?

Speaker 20 Ever?

Speaker 13 Because you need to have the ability to say, and the comeback is complete.

Speaker 64 Yes. So there has to be a bit of a certain 1-1, would you?

Speaker 18 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 12 Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 39 Pedantry fights pedantry.

Speaker 69 On the subject of Crystal Palace, Charlie, Tony Moore writes in.

Speaker 16 It says, I'm listening back to old episodes as I've got a horribly long commute suddenly.

Speaker 16 On the episode released 28th of May, 2024, you went somewhat mystic meg, it would seem.

Speaker 74 Use of hopeful as a noun in sport is really odd anyway, because you never hear it elsewhere in life.

Speaker 11 Hopefuls is a really strange one.

Speaker 74 Yeah.

Speaker 32 And what is hopefuls used for, James?

Speaker 74 Well, what kind of team? Because it's not dark horses. Because they're not hopefuls.

Speaker 74 But you can't be for rank outsiders either. It's teams who, maybe like Palace, are Premier League Hopefuls.
But they're not hopeful for the title.

Speaker 27 They're just sort of hoping to progress in the Premier League.

Speaker 13 Palace could be FA Cup hopefuls.

Speaker 6 That's it.

Speaker 28 I called it.

Speaker 34 A year in advance.

Speaker 20 FA Cup Hopefuls.

Speaker 59 I called it that Palace might like to win the FA Cup.

Speaker 20 They were hoping for it, yeah.

Speaker 20 I mean, it'd be a mad thing to describe them as, wouldn't it? Like a year out. Like now talking about wolves as like FA Cup hopefuls hopefuls wolves.

Speaker 18 Yeah. They're just sort of.

Speaker 13 I smashed it.

Speaker 40 You can't spell Nostradamus without Adam.

Speaker 8 So, um, R.

Speaker 34 Barker writes in on Reddit.

Speaker 15 I'm playing in a new weekly six-aside game tomorrow, and the teams have each been assigned generic blokey nicknames for one another, so we don't have to worry about names.

Speaker 11 It's a thoughtful touch, but surely this is solving a problem which doesn't exist.

Speaker 33 So here's the email sent by the organiser, Dave.

Speaker 8 As many of us don't know each other yet and it will take a while to learn names, I'm proposing that when calling for the ball, the bibs refer to each other mate and the non-bibs as fella, just so there's no confusion.

Speaker 20 Bibs, mate, non-bibs, fella.

Speaker 34 Nice and easy.

Speaker 8 We'll get to know each other quickly, I'm sure, but hopefully, this will help in the meantime.

Speaker 6 Cheers.

Speaker 7 See you all tomorrow at 7:45.

Speaker 20 What is going on?

Speaker 46 Wow, that's ridiculous.

Speaker 13 Absolutely absurd. It makes it more complicated.
Yeah.

Speaker 13 If you're the sort of person that, like I am, who uses mate routinely in probably too much in every interaction I ever have with anyone,

Speaker 58 And

Speaker 58 you're on the fellas team.

Speaker 13 You might accidentally call someone mate and you're on the wrong side.

Speaker 45 Unsporting conduct. That's straight away, isn't it?

Speaker 44 Charlie, Mr.

Speaker 8 Irishman replied to this and said, What on earth could you possibly be doing in the 15-minute pre-game period that doesn't involve asking a maximum of five other people their names?

Speaker 14 Now, logically true, but I mean, my record of remembering names in that moment is so bad.

Speaker 48 Yeah, it's weirdly so hard to do.

Speaker 20 I had this playing last week, and yeah, you just know as soon as it goes in, you're like, I'm just not, I know I've not taken that in. You really have to concentrate hard.

Speaker 63 Gambling on their names mid-game as well as going, oh, bet it's not his name.

Speaker 27 And he's either going to hate me or ignore me.

Speaker 20 And it's just awful. He looks like an Andy, but I don't think that is actually his name.

Speaker 8 Someone got right into the technicalities of this, Dave.

Speaker 7 Beat Consistent said the two-syllable fellas are at a distinct disadvantage over the mates.

Speaker 46 Could be. Could be the over the course of a game.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 45 That's going to add up, is it?

Speaker 13 That's the fine margins at this level.

Speaker 8 That's ten syllables, you know, per team.

Speaker 46 Disadvantage.

Speaker 70 No, it's not.

Speaker 44 Yes, it is. No, it isn't.
It's five syllables per team.

Speaker 63 Disadvantage.

Speaker 66 So yeah, as you say, Charlie, these marginal gains.

Speaker 45 So the guy got back the next day, Dave, and posted the match report.

Speaker 42 of what happened.

Speaker 8 Some extra context. He says, probably unsurprising, but the bloke running it was a bit of a burke.

Speaker 35 Most arrived 15 minutes early as requested, but he got very antsy as a few still hadn't turned up with 10 to go.

Speaker 8 He handed out the bibs and reiterated that my team should call each other mate if we couldn't remember names.

Speaker 33 He was on Team Feller, and he must have used that word a hundred times during the hour.

Speaker 20 It's ridiculous.

Speaker 20 We played offsides, which in a six aside seemed weird, but he wanted to stop goal hanging. Who is this player? Oh my God.
What? What's going on here?

Speaker 12 I mean, it's so easy to sneer, Charlie, at other people's five-aside conventions, but this is beyond the pale.

Speaker 48 Offsides in six aside.

Speaker 20 Though I do remember, did either or both of you play in... We had a work game that was like seven or eight aside.

Speaker 20 And obviously we weren't playing off sides but then it got a bit narky of like oh well yeah but that would have been offside and i'm like well yeah we're not playing off sides like that's not

Speaker 20 so do you remember that so it's like it's quite a weird like at what point should you introduce it i think is it like seven eight is there a cutoff i've never played it under other than elevens i don't think i mean Certainly not in an enclosed power league style pitch.

Speaker 8 I mean, obviously that would be ludicrous.

Speaker 56 But I mean, the last time I played a

Speaker 37 park game where someone tried to enforce offsides.

Speaker 21 A park game?

Speaker 7 It would have been... It was like an early era office game where we didn't have access to a pitch.

Speaker 60 We all just went down the local park and put down sort of jumpers for goalposts.

Speaker 8 But there are so many of us that the pitch got so big that someone did try to enforce an off-side rule.

Speaker 62 And it was just completely unworkable.

Speaker 47 I mean, who wants to stop a game for that?

Speaker 13 Those sorts of games, you don't want to be looking along the line and organising the back line.

Speaker 20 Let's push up.

Speaker 69 They're squeezed. Come on.

Speaker 50 Appealing for off-sides.

Speaker 20 How pathetic does that sound?

Speaker 49 Stupid.

Speaker 13 I mean, this bloke, it's just completely over-engineering the situation.

Speaker 13 Do you think that? Because if you're on the fellas, you could, it kind of works quite naturally to go, come on, fellas, right? From the off. But if you're on the other side and you go, come on, mate.

Speaker 20 Come on, mates. Yeah.
It doesn't sound right, does it?

Speaker 5 You can't stop making the formal name of the team.

Speaker 57 But, I mean, Charlie, my resolution for this anyway, even if I, you know, in the very likely event, I wouldn't remember my teammates' names, would be just sort of offer a kind of yes, or I'm here, or something like that.

Speaker 8 Just make make it all about yourself.

Speaker 6 Don't address the other person at all.

Speaker 20 Yeah, it's yeah, I'm not really sure. I mean, yeah, overeengineering is exactly what I was thinking, Dave.
It's spot honest.

Speaker 32 The word yes just gets you through it, Dave.

Speaker 44 It serves pretty much every function you'll need in a fiber sidecar.

Speaker 13 Exactly, yeah. And they may or may not be listening, but sometimes it works.
Yeah.

Speaker 53 Sorry about that.

Speaker 8 Right, this episode is brought to you in association with NordVPN.

Speaker 16 For those who don't know, VPN stands for virtual private network.

Speaker 61 It secures your connection, protecting your personal information and online activity, especially on public Wi-Fi.

Speaker 61 A VPN can also make your phone or laptop appear as if it's in another country, which is great for accessing content while traveling.

Speaker 5 Indeed, as did Tom Miller, who sent in some glorious Anglo-Italian commentary from Fiorentina 3, Bologna 2.

Speaker 8 Just enjoy this in all its glory.

Speaker 75 Parisi the cross the Keder Dalinga

Speaker 75 and he scores

Speaker 75 there's the equalizer

Speaker 75 Parisi another shot Skoruzki and Tan Richardson

Speaker 75 he scores

Speaker 75 and Fiorentina is back in the lead Amir Richardson pointing towards the baseline and Orsolini

Speaker 75 puts it in

Speaker 75 stops again almost falls down and tennis Punzidina Moise

Speaker 75 Fiorentina Berkin Dolida

Speaker 20 pretending to be Italian what's going on I was gonna say that this is

Speaker 20 a real piss take sounding English it really sounds like Loku did the voiceover on Mario Carl yeah

Speaker 39 I don't I don't not enjoy it Dave there's there's some there's some joy in that commentary for sure but what's going on here

Speaker 13 is this because this looks like from the clip we've just seen is it like the world Siria world feed or something? Yeah.

Speaker 52 Yeah, it's from the highlights.

Speaker 13 It's like a hybrid service. You can have an Anglo-Italian

Speaker 13 if you, if you, you know, you want a bit of Italian, but you don't speak it.

Speaker 20 Yeah. Good option.

Speaker 42 Bit of flavor.

Speaker 46 Yeah, this was on the world feed.

Speaker 14 Matteo Gandini on Commentary.

Speaker 44 The internet commentator database tells me Charlie Mattio Gandini sounds like a made-up Italian name as well.

Speaker 20 That's all perfect. This isn't real.
Yeah. No, fine.
If he was called

Speaker 8 Matthew Gandhi, yeah.

Speaker 36 If you want to try NordVPN for yourself, go to nordvpn.com slash cliches, and our link will also give you four extra months on the two-year plan.

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Speaker 51 Welcome back to Football Clichés.

Speaker 16 This is the midweek adjudication panel.

Speaker 5 Let's kick off part two with this from Hugh Stubbins.

Speaker 52 He says the Paramount Plus series Mobland, starring Tom Hardy, Piers Brosnan, and the eternal Helen Mirren is streaming at the moment.

Speaker 57 And I came across this clip of Tom Hardy referencing the world's greatest ever footballer.

Speaker 80 Now, how, Harry, do you know Kat McAllister? She wanted to offer me a job. Mm-hmm.
And what did you tell her? I said I'd think about it. You'd think about it?

Speaker 20 No.

Speaker 80 I said I'll think about it. Because you you don't need to think about it.
Correct. And I'm not lying on Messi.
I can't just switch teams.

Speaker 80 Suddenly, I'm stood there with a big smile holding up a shirt that says McAllister United on the front.

Speaker 80 I'm loyal.

Speaker 60 A troubling choice

Speaker 12 of player for this.

Speaker 33 Charlie, obviously, you've got to try and appeal to the widest possible audience, but Hugh asks, does this work?

Speaker 14 Not for me, Clive.

Speaker 4 Firstly, Tom Hardy's character Harry D'Souza talks about loyalty.

Speaker 15 I think Messi was pretty loyal to Barcelona before Laporta's fucked up finances forced an exit.

Speaker 20 I mean,

Speaker 20 I'd love it was like Nicholas Anelka or something.

Speaker 20 The original mercenary and how confused Rogland's character would look.

Speaker 8 All you're gonna the worst that's gonna happen, Charlie, is that you'd make people look it up on Google and then be interested in the answer.

Speaker 10 Challenge people!

Speaker 13 Anelke would have been great. Who do you think I am? Nicholas Anelka?

Speaker 45 Who do you think I am? The other guy replying with, what how many transfer fees in total did he command across his career?

Speaker 13 You are wearing goalkeeper gloves, weirdly.

Speaker 20 Who broke his record in the end?

Speaker 72 Who was a man of the match, by the way?

Speaker 48 Especially because Messi's so

Speaker 47 is just the go-to for like the best.

Speaker 20 Yeah. You know, if you're saying, like, I'm not the most gifted or something.

Speaker 1 I just, yeah, he's not a turncoat necessarily, is it?

Speaker 62 It's such a shame that the scriptwriters had to put him in.

Speaker 42 But yeah, there we are.

Speaker 27 Right, time for footballers' names in things.

Speaker 14 This first one came from Jimbo.

Speaker 55 It's from American Radio Quiz Show, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Speaker 81 And we are glad you listeners out there are ready to do your job, which is to call in and play our games. The number is 1888-WAIT WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.

Speaker 81 Let's welcome our first listener contestant. How you're on.
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Speaker 25 Hi, Peter. It's Alison Becker from Indianapolis, Indiana.

Speaker 81 Indianapolis, that beautiful place. What do you do there?

Speaker 36 Not the first time Alison Becker has come up in a Footballers Names in Things.

Speaker 51 And next up, this came from Doug Newham.

Speaker 40 It's from science fiction novel Leviathan Fools by James S.

Speaker 27 A.

Speaker 60 Corey.

Speaker 65 It was their only private space for the next few months while the price burned out to the ringgate, made the transit to Neuwestad system, and then burned to Fortuna Sittard, the capital city on the main habitable planet.

Speaker 44 Quite a classy, obscure choice for a random place on an alien planet.

Speaker 8 Fortuna Sittard, I like this. Charlia, it made me think of other leading European clubs that could be used for this purpose.

Speaker 4 Sort of settlements on other planets.

Speaker 37 Rail Bettis, Olympiakos Piraeus, Mainz 05,

Speaker 9 and Bodo Climt.

Speaker 20 Topical. Yeah, good.

Speaker 36 Right, here we go again, I fear.

Speaker 34 This came from Paul Lightfoot.

Speaker 8 It's from a BBC story headlined, HGV rolling roadblock on M1 saves orphan ducklings.

Speaker 11 Here is the story.

Speaker 56 Brinsley Animal Rescue in Nottinghamshire said the baby birds were left distressed on the central reservation of the motorway where the mother duck lay dying.

Speaker 54 They were saved when lorry drivers created a rolling roadblock and allowed people to retrieve the stricken mallards.

Speaker 19 That's funny alone.

Speaker 42 They are now being cared for by the charity which said it had about 40 birds currently in its care.

Speaker 66 John Beresford, co-founder of the centre, said he was called on Friday morning by a woman who had helped another group of birds the day before.

Speaker 20 Oh, I hope it's the real one.

Speaker 20 Could it be?

Speaker 13 Yeah, you can't rule it out, can you?

Speaker 36 It would be a really underwhelming follow-up if we got that John Beresford on Dave to interview him about being called John Beresford.

Speaker 20 Yeah, it would be.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I mean, my parents, my family is Beresford, and just like the name John, really, yeah.

Speaker 6 I was at uni with some Geordies, right?

Speaker 20 And they hung it downstairs.

Speaker 9 They couldn't believe it.

Speaker 43 Right, right.

Speaker 36 Finally, this came from Connor Brown.

Speaker 66 He says, Hello, Adam.

Speaker 61 I thought you'd enjoy this.

Speaker 39 My brother is a committee member at our local working men's club.

Speaker 61 At his first meeting, the secretary was running through the agenda for the meeting ahead of passing to the 82-year-old chair for the meeting to commence.

Speaker 56 At which point, she revealed his full name to my brother's surprise and excitement as tony cascarino

Speaker 71 there cannot be another tony cascarino in this world mad that is more unlikely yeah 82 years old that's class imagine charlie just sitting there waiting for it all to begin and then outblurted that name

Speaker 7 blow your mind well how quick yeah how many thoughts would go through your head in a very short space of time emailing straight into the podcast um next up leo writes in charlie says i saw some nerd on a sky sports show describing rail saucy dad's Takafusa Kubo as a potential shrewd signing for Newcastle.

Speaker 68 What is the threshold for shrewd signing?

Speaker 8 I think it's quite ballsy to claim any transfer in hypothesis as shrewd before it's actually kind of materialised, isn't it?

Speaker 64 Well, no, I think you would hear like, I think this would be a shrewd move for them.

Speaker 20 But yeah, so breaking it down, I mean, I think, firstly, it needs to be not like mega money or massively spectacular.

Speaker 32 You know,

Speaker 32 what's a shrewd price tag right now for a sort of exciting attacking player then?

Speaker 20 Oh, for an exciting attacking player. I mean, depending how big the club is, but if you're talking about like one of the really biggest clubs,

Speaker 20 I think you could get now with the way things are sort of relatively speaking. If they're in like the 20 mils, I think, you know,

Speaker 48 we're talking about an experienced international.

Speaker 20 That could be a shrewd buy for me. I think a shrewd as well needs, you know, he plays a lot of positions.
You know, he can play across the front line. He's maybe, you know, not the biggest name.

Speaker 20 I think shrewd as well is often it can be a kind of intra-Premier league signing. So someone who we know a bit about and that they're going for seemingly not loads of money.

Speaker 20 So, if you are talking about an attacker there, like

Speaker 20 Diego Jotta or Trossard, when they were signed by Arsenal and Liverpool, they feel like instant shrodies because they're kind of like you know, you know what you're getting.

Speaker 20 Yeah, they're really versatile, they're two-footed, they're just really reliable performers, and you kind of know that straight away.

Speaker 13 I think Trossard fits that quite nicely. Yeah, I think, I think it work this works better if there's not that much money involved.

Speaker 13 And if it's a club signing a player who, for whatever reason, has sort of been written off or hasn't played much football.

Speaker 13 So, like Brighton signing Danny Welbeck or a club signing Johnny Evans, and it was, you know, what? And he hasn't played much football lately, but I think this is a really shrewd signing for them.

Speaker 13 Get him fit. There's still a player there.

Speaker 50 Exactly.

Speaker 45 I knew this was coming.

Speaker 3 I'm so glad you said this.

Speaker 37 The element of there's a player in there.

Speaker 27 There's something you have to unlock about a player, which makes the reason that's the reason their stock is low. You're buying their stock low to make it higher.

Speaker 11 that's where the shrewdness comes in.

Speaker 8 Isn't astute signing the same thing, Charlie?

Speaker 20 I mean, there's obviously a lot of overlap, but astute, maybe there's a bit more kind of evidence. There's sort of, you know, he's a bit more research.

Speaker 60 Maybe that's more of an undiscovered gem, or astrew is a gamble worth taking.

Speaker 20 Yeah, exactly. Astute is like, you know, look at his numbers.
You know, he's got, he's won more jewels than anyone in Ligon last season. You know, that's, that's,

Speaker 20 he'll see, he should settle in well.

Speaker 58 Okay, I think we've got it. Okay.
Right, next up, fuck me.

Speaker 39 this is niche.

Speaker 14 Rise Weekly on Reddit wants to know why football clubs from from towns named X upon Y or similar always drop the on Y from their names.

Speaker 52 I live in Bradford-on-Avon, he says Dave.

Speaker 14 A mate asked me why our local football club is called Bradford Town FC, not Bradford-on-Avon FC or Bradford-on-Avon Town FC.

Speaker 15 This got us thinking, do football clubs from X on Avon, X upon Thames, etc., ever keep the full town name in their club name?

Speaker 39 We couldn't think of any.

Speaker 11 Through Wikipedia lists, I found 57 English towns and cities that use this construction and then googled town name FC.

Speaker 11 As far as I can make out, only three towns have football clubs who use their full name.

Speaker 46 What a quiz question this is going to be, by the way.

Speaker 8 Those three clubs are Chesterless Street Town FC and Chesterless Street United FC, Newton Low Willows FC and Western Super Mayor AFC.

Speaker 56 I mean, is it disrespectful not to use the second half of the name?

Speaker 13 I mean, it's a bit unwieldy, isn't it? And I don't know, you know, Stoke-on-Trent are Stoke City, right?

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 13 It would be weird if they were called Stoke-on-Trent FC.

Speaker 45 It would be.

Speaker 8 Would it make them a bit more too Bob Charlie?

Speaker 44 Would it make them a bit too village-y?

Speaker 20 Yes, but I think that's only because that's developed as a convention. But it definitely would.
It would just seem very like referee

Speaker 18 sort of birthplace.

Speaker 15 The comprehensive research that's gone into this, as you say, Dave, Stoke-on-Trent, feature in this list of dozens of towns that have a football team but don't take the full name.

Speaker 7 Ashby De Lazuch. Ashby De Lazuch don't even use it.

Speaker 62 And that's a cool one.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 6 But they're called Ashby Ivanhoe FC, so they've got other problems.

Speaker 20 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 11 Obviously, Kingston-upon-Hull, that's Hull City.

Speaker 29 Kingston-upon-Thames, go for Kingstonian.

Speaker 5 Newcastle under Lyme, they're Newcastle Town.

Speaker 14 Be a bit more proud of where you're from, I reckon.

Speaker 72 That's the summary here.

Speaker 13 Stratford-on-Avon. Is it Stratford-upon-Avon?

Speaker 20 I think it's a lot of people. Stratford-upon-Avon, yeah.

Speaker 16 Yeah, they're just Stratford Town FC.

Speaker 71 Disappointing. And it is helpful, like when you're younger and

Speaker 20 some of these things are quite confusing, the geographical things, and it would help to have that additional bit of context.

Speaker 33 Yeah, anyway, great research from Rise Weekly.

Speaker 7 Next up, Dylan Povey writes in with the news that AC Milan are likely to send Tammy Abraham back to Roma this summer.

Speaker 16 He says there was a question on the pod a few months back about players that could feasibly sign for any club in the Premier League.

Speaker 23 Here's the answer, Tammy Abraham.

Speaker 57 I can picture him anywhere.

Speaker 56 Chelsea return, Leeds slash Sheffield United marquee signing, any of the mid-table clubs, West Ham United, obviously West Ham.

Speaker 56 And I wouldn't even stop at the 20 clubs of the Premier League.

Speaker 32 He could definitely be playing for Celtic, Rangers, Sevilla, Ajax, Sporting Lisbon, Freiburg, Strasbourg next year.

Speaker 34 And he's also prime for the Super League.

Speaker 62 Is he the most sort of generically signable player out there at the moment, Dave?

Speaker 13 He's got so many options. Great position for him to be in.

Speaker 15 Also, he occupies a strange space.

Speaker 15 in the European football food chain, especially amongst strikers, Charlie, where he's got this kind of vaguely memorable Premier League CV that, you know, from a strange era in Chelsea's recent history, but also he's kind of his stock has fallen a bit because

Speaker 4 he's had injuries and he's you know, he's been knocking about several Serie A clubs, so he might end up being a shrewd signing, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 64 Yeah, he is your classic

Speaker 20 sort of striker that you basically need one good Premier League season, you know, get like double figures as a striker, and that almost sets you for life because they'll always, almost always be a club.

Speaker 20 It was like Marcus Bent was your classic of this genre. He would always, like, he had one season where he scored a decent number, otherwise, didn't really.

Speaker 20 But there was always enough to be like, well, yeah, sort of, maybe he will have another good. He's got, he's probably got one more in him, and maybe we'll be the lucky ones.

Speaker 33 Is it West Ham, though, Dave?

Speaker 60 I sort of can see him at Leeds, oddly.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I think Dylan is right.

Speaker 13 I could see him at Fulham.

Speaker 13 Maybe if Palace didn't have Enketia, he could fill that role for them.

Speaker 48 I mean, West Ham's did Evan Ferguson, didn't they?

Speaker 20 So

Speaker 13 they've got recent form for kind of resurrecting the hopes of a young striker who I mean Tabby Abraham's not even that young anymore is he even even like Brentford I could see it would it would make sense but yeah promoted teams it yeah he he's he like you say he's just he's not he's just got enough about him to be attractive to so many options and the and the Chelsea thing as well like you it almost certainly wouldn't happen but you couldn't definitively rule it out and I feel like Chelsea fans might like it just because he's one of their own, that whole thing.

Speaker 13 And so that kind of extends his window a little bit as well. The full range of from Champions League chasing clubs to relegation strugglers and everything in between.

Speaker 27 I wonder if his agent knows this, Charlie.

Speaker 5 Does he know how many options he's theoretically got at his feet?

Speaker 64 I mean, that's the thing as well.

Speaker 20 When you are that level of a striker, you are so versatile because you're either, yes, can you be a sort of main man for a not very good club, or can you be the sort of backup plan B?

Speaker 20 Because you could make a case, couldn't you, that, well, he could be useful, you know, for a team that maybe don't have that many strikers. There's, you know, he's an option.

Speaker 20 He's a plan B kind of guy.

Speaker 71 Which of the Turkish big three is he, though? I think

Speaker 20 Fenobace?

Speaker 20 I don't know. I mean, Galatasarai is what came into my head, but there's no real reason for that.
But I don't think he's Vasiktas.

Speaker 46 I just don't think he is.

Speaker 20 But I think because Galatasarai are the most sort of, they'll play an English team in the Champions League and upset them, and he might pop up with a goal or a moment to kind of haunt them.

Speaker 20 Either play United or someone if they win the, which people will know by now if they're in the Champions League next season.

Speaker 13 Could he be Istanbul, Basixha here?

Speaker 49 Oh, an outside shout.

Speaker 20 Why?

Speaker 12 Yes, absolutely could be, actually.

Speaker 33 Give him at least a couple of years on that one.

Speaker 63 Right, finally, this came from Jordan Laird.

Speaker 47 It's from the BBC Scottish Football Podcast, a delightfully proportioned example of one of our old favourites.

Speaker 82 Do you think this is Steve Clark just getting a look at some players, or do you think after the playoff with Greece, he's maybe thinking, right, this is the right time to start a bit of an overhaul and maybe phase out some of the players that have served him well, but maybe just hitting that age where they maybe need to start transitioning out of the squad?

Speaker 82 Yeah, better both.

Speaker 8 Delightfully lopsided one, Charlie, but you have to lopside it in that way. You can't have a big long option A and then a really short option B.

Speaker 44 It never works out that way.

Speaker 20 Why?

Speaker 20 That was a brilliant setup. That's one of the longest I've ever heard.
I think since the live show one from the history podcast, it was so long. Which I think about a lot.

Speaker 5 It was so long, Dave, that it got to the point where you wondered if they were in on it.

Speaker 8 But it just sort of unfolded so naturally.

Speaker 12 Tremendous example.

Speaker 18 Yeah, really good.

Speaker 20 Great delivery, too. Yeah.

Speaker 36 Anyway, speaking of long, drawn-out affairs that involve Scottish people and us getting cheap laughs at the end of it, it's time for Keys and Grey Corner.

Speaker 14 Wow, a midweek Keys and Grey Corner.

Speaker 4 It's like finding a tenor in your pocket, isn't it?

Speaker 15 It's just unexpected, but joyous.

Speaker 7 Anyway, here's David Walker on the Football Cliches podcast on Tuesday talking about Richard Keyes at Goodison.

Speaker 21 I suspect that was part of it, like just being back on his, you know, his patch old stomping ground.

Speaker 13 How many times do do you think he referred to Goodison as the grand old lady?

Speaker 62 Oh, God. There she is.

Speaker 36 And lo and behold, this came from D.

Speaker 9 Fitzgerald's.

Speaker 64 The first of them, a little bit special.

Speaker 43 We're in the arms of the grand old lady.

Speaker 20 The arms. The arms.
Oh, that's even better.

Speaker 20 Nobody's calling it.

Speaker 48 The bosom of the grand old lady.

Speaker 72 I swear it's only just become known as that the last week.

Speaker 70 Anyway, great keys content all around, really.

Speaker 55 Monday's blog dropped just just after we finished recording on Monday.

Speaker 71 And the sign-off, Charlie, was, I'll leave you with a little teaser.

Speaker 37 Stand by for a crosstown transfer that would cause a real storm, but at the same time, be good for all parties.

Speaker 33 This week will determine whether it happens.

Speaker 20 That was a particularly cantankerous delivery.

Speaker 37 Yeah, it's the only gear I've got now for Keesy.

Speaker 62 Well, it set our footballing brains going, didn't it?

Speaker 10 We were trying to work out who it was, and that's the intention.

Speaker 6 He's getting us going.

Speaker 32 He's got some info, and he's using it.

Speaker 20 He's brilliant at these.

Speaker 12 I love it when he gets a bit of info. Yeah.

Speaker 20 And he's cryptic with them.

Speaker 51 Still got it.

Speaker 13 I initially thought that it might be, I think, because we were sort of speculating, oh, could it be De Bruyne to Man United?

Speaker 69 But no, that's obviously it's not going to be something like that.

Speaker 13 Then I thought, well, maybe because he's been on the ground at Goodison, has he picked something up from a contact there? You know, he's had his ear to the ground.

Speaker 13 Is it Darwin Nunes maybe to Everton?

Speaker 10 That makes so much sense as well.

Speaker 62 Potentially shrewd signing as well.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 20 There's a player there.

Speaker 13 But it appears not.

Speaker 5 No, it appears not.

Speaker 4 He has tweeted with a link to a mirror article entitled Jack Grealish's Five Transfer Options as Pep Guardiola addresses Man City exit.

Speaker 62 And he says, hmm, there's one missing from this list.

Speaker 51 One maybe a bit closer to home.

Speaker 20 It's like a number of dots faster.

Speaker 44 Grealish to United.

Speaker 13 Wow, what if he calls that? Because you haven't seen it anywhere else, have you, at all?

Speaker 42 No, that must be.

Speaker 21 Do you know that would cause a real storm?

Speaker 20 Because I thought, I was thinking, I was like, I just don't know how bothered City would be, would they? No, it feels like he's sort of so on the way out.

Speaker 20 I'd be like, yeah, it's hardly Tevez, you know.

Speaker 42 No, it's absolutely not.

Speaker 35 God knows how much they'd pay for him.

Speaker 7 That's such a weird deal to me.

Speaker 5 Whether they need him or not, footballistically, I don't really care.

Speaker 59 But I just, I'm...

Speaker 9 Yeah, they'll be making a few quid out of it, but I'm not sure.

Speaker 8 I can't picture him in the shirt either, Charlie, which is a huge factor here.

Speaker 20 Yeah, it doesn't.

Speaker 45 It doesn't work.

Speaker 35 It could be alone.

Speaker 20 I can almost see it being alone.

Speaker 13 I think it works nicely, though. Just get over there, hang out with your fellow England injury-prone lads, Luke Shaw and Mason Mount.

Speaker 21 It'd be great.

Speaker 70 Yeah, right.

Speaker 36 The tunnel and the next time they meet will be fun.

Speaker 71 I think it would be cordial, at least.

Speaker 35 Anyway, Keesy, after sort of tantalisingly flirting with us with some breaking transfer news, returned to form during Man City versus Bournemouth, Dave, and he says, why is the ref wearing the same coloured jersey as the Bournemouth keeper tonight?

Speaker 61 PGMOL ignore this law too often.

Speaker 63 Each goalkeeper must wear colours that are distinguishable from the other players and the match officials.

Speaker 60 What?

Speaker 10 Keesy, it's match week 37, mate.

Speaker 31 Don't worry about it.

Speaker 20 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 10 Get on the beach.

Speaker 20 There's this shittish rule to care about.

Speaker 3 Nothing even happened in the game to trigger it.

Speaker 31 You just noticed.

Speaker 20 There wasn't a corner or something where it was a little confusing.

Speaker 43 Fucking hell.

Speaker 13 Yeah, at what point would that actually become a problem? One of the players passing the ball to the ref because they think he's the goalkeeper or something in the middle of the pitch.

Speaker 39 I warned you this would happen.

Speaker 36 Time and again.

Speaker 7 Heads should roll at PGMOL.

Speaker 53 Oh, sign off for the summer, Keezy.

Speaker 66 Don't worry about it.

Speaker 36 Anyway, thanks to you, Charlie Eccleshare.

Speaker 14 Thank you. You're off to Roland Garros, I understand.

Speaker 20 Very much so, yeah.

Speaker 61 Enjoy. You'll still be dipping in and and out of the pod, I hope.

Speaker 51 Thanks to you, Dave Walker.

Speaker 35 Thank you. Thanks to everyone for listening.

Speaker 68 We'll be back on Tuesday.

Speaker 34 See you then.

Speaker 77 This podcast is part of the Sports Social Podcast Network.

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