Arsenal’s magnificent seven goals set up Madrid quarter-final – Football Weekly podcast

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Hello and welcome to the Guardian Football Weekly.

Arsenal hit seven, bracket seven in the Champions League.

You feel like that should just about be enough to guarantee their place in the quarterfinal.

Six different goal scorers insert question about needing a striker.

Wanieri, excellent again.

Odegaard looking like 2024 Odegaard.

What a nice trip for the travelling fans.

They'll play the winners of the Madrid Derby.

Real have a slender advantage after a 2-1 win at the Bernabal.

Rodrigo's brilliant opener cancelled out by Alvarez's brilliant equalizer before Brahim Diaz scored the winner.

All to play for then.

A good night for Aston Villa, who were perhaps a little lucky to get away with the 3-1 win in Bruges.

Dortmund and Leal draw one apiece.

Karamatayami with a textbook half volley.

Such a gloriously sweet strike.

Also today, plenty of EFL to discuss Gianni Anfantino and his close ties to some of the more unpleasant leaders in the world.

Speaking of which, the impact of Donald Trump's economic war with Mexico and Canada on the 2026 World Cup in those three countries.

Arsen Wenger and the torso offsides, your questions, and that's today's Guardian Football Weekly.

On the panel today, Barry Glendelling, welcome.

Hi, Max.

Philippe O'Claire, bonjour sava.

Sala bio next.

Bonjour.

Bonjour.

And the better half of the Spanish football podcast, Phil Kitramalidez.

Welcome, Phil.

Hello, Buenos Dias.

Buenos dias.

Let's start in Eindhoven, shall we?

Imagine, Barry, how upset the Arsenal fans will be if we didn't start there.

PSV won Arsenal seven, the first team in Champions League knockout history to score seven away from home.

Jim saying, once again, Philippe is on after a magnificent win.

Watch poor Nikki be the guest when Arsenal lose seven nil at home.

Yes, I think the last time you were on might have been on one of the last times was when Arsenal smashed Man City.

It was a brilliant.

They haven't been great since.

And then they were great last night.

Yeah.

The floor is yours, Philippe.

What was it like?

Well,

I'm still in shock and denial because also I look absolutely ridiculous because

I did a column for a French website on Monday about that game

saying that

given what I'd seen from Piersville against Juve,

I wasn't thinking much of the chances of Arsenal against the Dutch club, you know, especially in that cauldron of an arena.

And

yeah.

And I look rather silly, basically.

You could say that

the game, perhaps all

this type of scoreline is always

in a way a travesty of reality.

It means that something happened that shouldn't have happened.

And you could say, right, in the 16th minute, Esabari

doesn't hit the bar, but actually puts the ball in.

Oh my goodness, what will happen?

But then two minutes later, that's it.

That's the first goal.

And Johan Timber at the far post nods it in.

And then three minutes later,

this time it's Louis Kelly.

who had an interesting game to say the least, and

von Waneri, and then it's 2-0.

And then another big moment, the VAR

appeal or the verification of Merino's gold.

It's given 3-0 and that's it.

It's very strange, because you do have to wonder what kind of responsibility Peter Bosch has in this, as the way that his team defended was absolutely appalling.

But on the other hand, it might be that the tempo of those games fits Arsenal better.

There was more space, but

they looked also really up for it, which is not something I would have said of the past few performances.

They were absolutely appalling against Nottingham Forest.

They were even worse

against West Ham.

And then suddenly Declan Rice looks like Declan Rice.

And suddenly Martin Odegaard, those cheekbones, my goodness,

they're so sharp.

Because

he's starting to look like

the guy

who hands the Holy Grail to Indiana Jones.

They're not quite that, are they?

At this stage.

But not that far.

I mean, I have to say that he wouldn't have to put too much makeup to have a a good role at the Day of the Dead in Oaxaca, Mexico.

But he was superb.

And again, Moneri confirming what we know about him now.

But yes,

it was bizarre.

It was insane.

And what does it mean?

Well, it means that they now have a genuine chance.

I mean, this is Arsenal.

Even Arsenal cannot quite.

I don't think any team ever won the first leg 7-1 and then got out.

I don't think it's possible.

I don't think it's possible.

Even PSG and their pump would struggle to do that.

But yes, what more can you say?

Is that

it was an excellent performance.

Everything that could go the gunner's way went the gunner's way because the first half is three shots on target for Arsenal and three goals.

The ball hitting the bar, the VAR actually authorizing the goal and so forth.

Everything went their way, but my goodness, some of the football they played, and also quite interestingly, they didn't

pull the foot off the pedal in the second half, which is something they've got a tendency to do when they think they've got the game wrapped.

They didn't in this case, and in fact, they started the second half with

just the same desire to score and score again.

I mean, apart from Partey's moment of madness,

there's nothing much that went against the gunners that day.

So, yeah, I mean, an absolutely magnificent day, and I've been proved totally wrong, and I'm absolutely delighted.

So, you should you should perhaps book me in for the football weekly after the first game against Real Madrid or Article, right?

Okay, okay, we can we can do that.

I only have a Kaya Saka scored more than one airy in all competitions this season.

Um, are we getting him on that plane, Phil?

Um, him and him and Louis Gelly, should Tuchel be picking him immediately?

I think, you know, as the only Englishman on the pod today, Max, I think

you'll be getting very excited, won't you?

Having someone like Nguyen Yeri knocking on the door of the England team?

It's a good question.

Yeah, I mean, no, because it's too far away.

I'm just annoyed about the next international break, like a typical England fan.

You know, it's just getting in the way of the football that needs to be played.

So

I can't feel it yet, but I would be interested to see what Tuchel thinks, given he's got such a short contract.

And, you know, it is go and win the World Cup, which is a sort of ludicrous thing to say to somebody.

But does that mean he doesn't care about young players?

But on form, I think you could probably make a case for both of them.

I think he absolutely has to care about Ethan Wanyeri just because he's, I mean, listen, I'm based in Spain and I've seen the explosion of La Minha Mau over the last year and a half or so, someone who broke through at a similar age.

I think he made his debut when he was 15, so a little bit younger than Ethan Wanyeri.

But they've both got this kind of bubbling arrogance when they're on the pitch.

Like they know that they're extremely good.

And what Chavi Hernandez always used to say about Lamin Yamar when he was giving him his first minutes was that his decision-making is so good.

Like at this level, everything happens so much faster than it does at youth football.

So the step up is so enormous.

So to be able to take the decisions at the speed with which he takes the decisions, Lamin, is extraordinary.

And I see the same thing with Ethan Wanyeri.

I was at the Girona game, Girona against Arsenal when he had his first Champions League start and he scored an amazing goal there.

And watching him in the flesh up close, because it's a really small ground,

I was struck by just how he completely dominated this game.

And to go somewhere, like Philippe said, you know, it is a bit of a quadrant, the Philips stadium.

You know, we're not talking, this isn't Girona.

9,000 people.

This is a huge stadium, a big European night.

And to completely dominate it like that, it's really exciting, I'm sure, for England fans and particularly for Arsenal fans as well.

Michael Mourinho continued to play at centre-forward, which is really intriguing.

And it kind of got me thinking, which team of 11 the same players would be the best.

So would 11 Mikel Marinos be the best?

Because I take him in goal because he's a big lad.

Centre-back, I'm having him.

Midfield, definitely.

And then up front, he's pretty good.

I only came up with maybe Fede Valverde at Real Madrid, who's really good all over the place.

Marcos Jurente at Atletico, who plays several positions, and maybe Roderie.

But I think, you know, a team of Mikel Mourinhos would be pretty decent.

And yeah, goal machine, Mikel.

In Championship Manager 93, John Dreer was defence midfield attack at the right left centre.

So

that's what you're really looking for.

Barry, I'm desperately trying not to take away from Arsenal.

Some of the goals were so soft in this game.

Mourinho's goal, which we have mentioned.

I think every PSV player had a chance to clear that one.

It was so weird.

It was like a Sunday league goal.

It was just such an odd goal.

Arsenal were terrific last night but psv eindhoven were terrible their approach was naive i don't think any of their players had a decent performance i thought going into the game i i shared philippe's misgivings about arsenal because

that they were two teams in quite similar places going into this game like psv have totally shat the bed in the era divisi they were i think six points clear going into the christmas break now they're eight points behind ajax they got knocked out of the cup last week by Ahead Eagles.

They are missing several key players, Malik Tillman, Ricardo Pepe,

and a couple of others whose names escape me.

So, you know, and Arsenal were also in a poor run of form, missing key players knocked out of the cup, etc., and so on.

It was men against boys and that.

And

the goalkeeper let in a couple of soft ones.

The way they set up with a very flat midfield that Arsenal just played through at will.

Arsenal had really clinical finishing.

Funnily enough, they scored seven goals and their XG was less than two.

It was 1.9 something.

So

that's some seriously good finishing for a team that can't score goals and doesn't have a striker.

But yeah, PSV made an absolute dog's breakfast of this.

Could have been different if they'd scored that opener.

Could have been different if Miles Lewis Kelly had been sent off as he should have been.

But your man didn't score the goal.

Miles Lewis Skelly got away with his yellow.

He really needs to work, by the way, whatever about his discipline on his guilty face after

committing yellow card challenges, because he's not helping himself in that regard.

He got away with it last night, but yeah, just the look of total guilt on his face.

He needs someone to help him with that drama coach or something.

But, yeah, it was a combination of Arsenal being brilliant and I am Hoven being absolutely terrible.

But their season has completely fallen apart in recent weeks.

How did the PSV defender end up on his ass on Mikel Merino's goal?

Is it Ryan?

Ryan Flamingo.

It's Ryan Flamingo.

It's just a great opportunity to say Ryan Flamingo again, but I don't know.

Not having a leg to stand on.

Yeah, very good.

I've no idea.

The Odegaard pass for Califiore was so, so nice, wasn't it?

And it's nice to see him being so good.

Is it a dumb question, Phil, to ask who Arsenal would prefer

from Real and Athletic?

It feels like a silly question.

Potentially, they would prefer not to face the defending champions and 15-time winners, Real Madrid.

Yeah, I would think so.

But, I mean, you know, Atletico are, you know, stern opponents, as i'm sure we'll talk about uh later on but yeah i think if you can avoid real madrid in the champions league in the knockout stages it's it's probably a good idea yeah no no i mean i thought it was a stupid question i'm glad you know i just thought you might have like an you know that within spain take that actually the way that athletes set up means but you're right uh david says have two men ever worn exactly the same kit more differently uh this is uh when kieran tierney and ben white were due to come on the pitch there is you know pasty kieran tierney you know shirt tucked into his shorts which is pulled up up above his belly button, you know, shorts down to the top of his knees.

Next to Ben White, you know, covered in tattoos, like so much tan, and then his shorts kind of like hitched up.

You know, it is the same kit.

They are doing ostensibly the same thing, but they are looking very, they're in many ways the beautiful melting pot of football.

Ben White's socks as well, pulled right up over his knees.

It's a great image.

Like a pair of three-quarter-length boots.

Let's go to Club Bruges 1, Aston Villa 3.

I thought Baz was quite an odd game, really.

Like at 1-1, Bruges had maybe two absolutely brilliant chances, and then just kind of just off gave Villa two goals.

I think Villa are incredibly lucky to come away with a 3-1 win in this game.

I don't think any Villa fans would take umbrage with me saying they were nowhere near their best last night.

I think they'd have happily taken a 1-1

and they've somehow gone home with a 3-1, and that's great.

I wouldn't think necessarily the tie is over.

Bruges have already scored, well I think they scored three goals against Atalanta in one half.

But

I think the two turning points in this game were the quadruple substitution made by Unai Emery after 64 minutes and then the Hans Vannekin miss, which actually turned out to be a miraculous Tyrone Mings

hook off the line.

And

how he didn't pull his hamstring there, I don't know, but yeah, it was very much a Mings redemption arc because he

was crucial in setting up Villa's first.

And

he stopped that Malachin shot or Vannekin shot going in somehow.

And

then

yes, Tosilis had he missed a decent chance as well.

And then

Villa were basically gifted two goals

in a crazy five or six minutes.

And they'll be delighted with that result because I don't think they deserve to win 3-1.

Brugge

controlled the game for quite long periods, but good luck to them.

Phil, I think, as the sort of resident Greek, you're allowed to correct Barry's pronunciation of Solis if you want to.

Solis, sorry.

What did I call him?

Tosilis.

You called him Tosselis.

Christos Tolis.

This is just me not being able to read my own life.

It's not a slice on the Greeks.

I saw you mouthing it.

I let you in.

And

that Ming's clearance, Philippe, is, I sort of defies physics.

I can't see how

he can make the ball go.

If anything, if he touches it, it's more likely to go in.

That's what I'm thinking.

Like, it's sort of mad.

Yeah, I've watched a few times.

It's a bit like Ryan Flamingo's fall.

I do not have any rational explanation for how he actually saved that there are so many things in the universe that to be aligned for this not to go in yeah

that it's something that we will never see again i believe and

No, it was absolutely exceptional, I must say.

Exceptional in a game which was not exceptional.

And we said that it was pretty poor.

Yeah, it was pretty poor, to be absolutely honest.

I think, by the way, the own goal was perhaps a little bit harsh because the own goal was provoked.

It was not like a stupid own goal.

Yeah, okay.

You know, Jamie Pollock.

It wasn't Jamie Pollock.

Right, exactly.

So,

but, yeah.

But no, I still, I still, I'm going to watch the Tyron Mings thing again, wondering, does this really happen?

Or was this an AI moment?

Or did I just dream it, perhaps?

But it was extraordinary.

And actually, your man solid, Phil, he's really unlucky for the penalties because he drags it out of the sky beautifully.

I almost think if you drag a ball out of the sky, you should be able to do whatever you like with your next movement.

But fouling Matty Cash, not the best thing to do.

Yeah,

I completely agree, poor old Christopher, who's

had a pretty good season, actually, and scored some good goals in the Champions League.

But yeah,

I agree with Barry.

I don't think this tie is completely over.

And Bruges have Brugge have surprised us by getting this far and claiming some important scalps.

I think Aston Villa, you know, it does help when you have a manager of the European pedigree of Unai Emery, and he is an exceptionally good manager, particularly in European competitions.

And also, I don't know if you're going to ask this further down the line, but I know Marco Asencio, certainly, I'm watching his redemption from afar with interest because obviously, here in here in Spain, here in Madrid,

his time really finished quite poorly.

He was nicknamed Aucencio, which is like absent in Cio, because he used to go missing in games and sometimes late at night as well in nightclubs.

Maybe there wasn't as much application as there should have been because when he burst onto the scene, he was one of the most exciting players in Europe with the ball at his feet, dribbling into space.

He was sensational, an unbelievable left-foot shot.

Seemed to score absolute bangers on his debut in each competition.

So I think that's what he scored on his La Liga debut, his first game with the Copa del Rey, first gave it the Champions League, first gave it the Super Cup, etc.

And then it kind of drifted away.

And we always know that he's got this talent, but we haven't seen him produce continuity and consistency.

And this little run of form that he's had with Aston Villa, five goals in four games, I was looking back and, you know, he hasn't had a run like this for a long time in his career.

And someone this talented should be able to produce big moments.

That said, in that run, there have been a couple of goals that, you know, there was one which the goalkeeper basically threw in.

And this is a penalty.

So you can read into it what you like, but certainly I think it's good to see Marco Ascencio, who's 29 now.

I mean, this is approaching a really critical part of his career.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah, so it's kind of like

it's not make or break or now or never, but it's not far away from him.

And obviously, Unai Emery really wanted him.

And I was a little bit suspicious, actually, because I thought, does he fit into an Unai Emery?

Is he an Una Emery kind of player?

Is he going to work as hard?

Is he going to apply himself as hard?

But he has so far.

And it's been a great signing for Ivida.

Are you saying that the bright lights of Madrid have more?

There's more to do than

the bull ring?

They have seduced many a many a man better than you at V Max.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

And so it's like, is this go to Aston Villa, play well and come back?

Or he's you know, he's done at Madrid, right?

And well, he's done in Madrid.

I don't know what he's going to do in Paris, but um, it's um, oh, that's it.

Sorry, no, no, good question.

Let me ask that again.

I mean, I don't mind looking stupid if you want to keep it in.

Um,

I don't need to ask you that, I don't need to ask that question, do I?

Because he doesn't play for them anymore.

It's all right, my Sergio Ramos moment, Barry.

It's up to you.

If you wanted to stay in the pod, you're very well.

It feels only right.

It feels only right.

The amount of abuse I gave you for Ramos to have asked a stupid question.

Your call, Barry.

I don't mind.

Philippe, you can ask that question.

Is he done at PSG, Essencio?

Is this, you know?

Not necessarily.

I mean,

he was not completely inefficient, you know, at PSG when he came from Real.

He actually scored a few goals.

I wouldn't say he was a regular starter in the team, but he featured on a number of occasions.

But certainly, people were not expecting,

I think in Paris, people were expecting far more of him to start with.

And

very quickly, they didn't expect that much.

They realized that the Assensio that we remembered, which is why you say he's 29, I keep thinking,

oh, we've got still great hopes for Marco Assensio's career because it seems it's always been that way.

So, yeah, I mean,

he might come back and do it in Paris Saint-Germain, but to be honest, I don't think he would start for the team at the moment.

The time just goes, Philippe, doesn't it?

That's what happens.

I know.

Yeah, it ticks on.

Wait until we talk about A You Bredi, and then you will see how time flies.

Marco Sencio also missed a game for Real Madrid with one of the greatest excuses I've seen.

He was

shaving his legs and or waxing his legs and hair got infected like an ingrown hair got infected in his leg and it caused him to miss a game for Real Madrid.

Yeah, I think that's fair.

It would be sore.

Yeah, you know, in my experience of what he said.

Well,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Right, that'll do for part one, part two.

We'll begin at the bird about

hi pod fans of America.

Max here.

Barry's here, too.

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Welcome to part two of the Guardian Football Weekly

to Madrid, Dead Rail to Athleti 1.

Obviously, Phil, this was on your big telly.

What did you make of it?

Sort of cards on the table.

It was actually on my

mobile, watching it on a train racing back from Barcelona to Madrid, where I was working in Barcelona yesterday and coming back to Madrid.

Did manage to watch it though, but yeah, not on a big telly as I would have liked.

It wasn't a great game, guys.

It wasn't a fantastic game.

And this fixture is not really usually very good.

And it pains me to say this because obviously I live and work in Madrid.

And it's in my interest for this to be one of the biggest fixtures of European football, which on paper it kind of is, because no other city has had a cross-city derby in the final of the Champions League, let alone twice.

So Real Madrid against Atletico Madrid is huge and yet the actual spectacle doesn't really deliver.

Not like the Clásico, which for a long time, you know, we hiked up for ages and Real Madrid and Barcelona tended to be a great game.

This is not that.

and again, yesterday, um,

you had three brilliant goals, as you as you mentioned at the top, um, Max, and I would add, you know, Brain Diaz's goal is also uh pretty brilliant, the one which ended up being uh the winner, but other than that, there wasn't there wasn't a huge amount of quality in the game.

I think if you look, you know, there were three goals, if you look at the combined XG of the two teams, it's it's it's below one, so there weren't many uh great chances uh in this game, and it was weird because I felt like Atletico Madrid controlled large parts of this match.

And then if you look at the stats, Real Madrid had a lot more chances and a lot clearer openings, more shots, etc.

So it's very, very tight.

It's very, very close going into the second leg.

Atletico, when the draw was made, made a big deal of the second leg being at the Metropolitano, as much as they have their own fans there as it not being at the burnabout, because second leg's at the burnabout.

We tend to know what happens there.

Real Madrid tends to tend to turn it around, whatever the situation.

So the second leg is at the Metropolitano.

it is going to be very very spicy the atmosphere the atletico madrid fans remember the last game that these two played there was stopped for like 20 minutes because the atletico madrid ultras were throwing lighters at tibo courtois so it's going to be it's going to be very very spicy um and it's it's it's finely poised but a big um a big how can i put this a big poor performance from kilo dembappe yesterday and a lot of people are um this morning in in in madrid absolutely slaughtering him forget what he did in the previous round against manchester city This is Real Madrid.

You're only as good as your last game.

And because he did very little in this match, I heard people saying this morning on the radio here, he's having a terrible season.

I mean, he's not having a terrible season.

He's going to score probably 40 goals this season.

He's on course for that.

But what he is doing, I think, is underperforming on the expectations that he

in large part caused by taking seven years to move here and dreaming up ever more elaborate ways of rejecting Real Madrid and then finally coming here and everybody thinking, right, we got him.

We finally got him.

We just won the Champions League and the league and now we signed the best player in the world.

This is going to be amazing.

And it hasn't been amazing from him.

But from not being amazing to having a poor season, I think there's a big jump.

But yeah, it wasn't great yesterday.

It wasn't great.

Are they using Rodrigo as a kind of contrasting example of a player who actually is doing very well when they're talking about Bape saying, well, look at Rodrigo is doing fantastically well, much better than the Frenchman.

Do they do that or not?

Well, I mean, mean, Rodrigo in the last few weeks has been the best of that front three, Vinicius, Mbappe, and Rodrigo.

And actually, Rodrigo has got a special thing.

I don't know what has happened, but he's got a special thing with the Champions League.

His Champions League goal scoring record is

much, much better than his La Liga goal scoring record.

And he tends to sort of grow in these kind of matches.

A lot's been made of Mbappe and Vinicius not necessarily running and tracking back and working hard.

And Angelotti said in the pre-match press conferences, there are players that run and there are players that decide games.

And you can't necessarily be both.

Maybe you can, I don't know.

But he's always said that, you know, I don't ask Mbappe to run and track back and help out defensively.

I want him to score goals,

which is fine when he does score goals.

But yesterday he didn't come even close to scoring goals.

And Rodrigo is a player, banging former and perhaps one of the most underrated players in in Europe because he is consistently very, very good on the bigger stage of all, which is the Champions League.

Yeah, his goal goal was so good, wasn't it?

Phil, can you put your finger on why is Real Madrid Athleti never good?

Is it all Simeone's fault?

I mean, I instantly would just blame Simeone for any game not being good.

Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty logical conclusion you come to there, Max, and one

difficult to disagree with.

I mean, I think

Simeone yesterday was pretty clear that he didn't want, he wanted to go into the second leg with something still to play for.

And Real Madrid had a really clear chance at the end they really should have scored and made it 3-1.

And Simeone made allusion to that afterwards, saying, you know, kind of saying, if that goes in, it's game over.

That's the one where Mbappe had a really easy pass.

I mean, really easy at that level, easy pass to Vinicius, you know.

Yeah, and he, yeah, and he didn't, and he didn't make it.

And if that goes in, it's 3-1.

And from Simeone's words, he would have felt like it's game over.

So, yeah, I think, you know, Simeoni's

Simeone's ideas come into play here.

Remember, before Simeone was the manager of Atletico Madrid, Atletico had gone 14 years without winning a Madrid derby.

14 years.

Like the Real Madrid fans famously held up like a

banner in the style of a classified advert saying, we're looking for a decent team to have a derby with.

Well, they've got one now.

They've got one.

You know, Simeoni made this fixture competitive again,

but it's not necessarily a great spectacle, which he's probably quite happy with.

I kept watching Phil, the referee in this decision.

I I think he got around Madrid getting quite a lot from this guy.

And then he goes, oh, actually, it's a Champions League.

This is not a La Liga game where clearly every decision goes the other way.

We're going to talk about rest.

Well, we touched on it, but I just wondered, we haven't spoken to Sid about it yet, about the conspiracy.

Because I read quite a lot about it the other day.

Are you really bored of this now?

Is it just like,

or like, what is the general vibe in

La Liga about it?

Thing is, Max, I don't believe there is a conspiracy against

the team.

Yeah.

But I feel like I'm increasing in the minority uh certainly living in madrid and being surrounded quite often by quite rabid rail madrid fans they genuinely believe that there is a conspiracy against them um could it be because there was a conspiracy for them which is no longer working i listen what that that the fact that the fact that barcelona were paying the vice president of the referees technical committee for 17 years um and that's still being investigated i mean that's not a good look and that is very much very very much

feeding into this suggestion and notion that there has been a conspiracy against Real Madrid and that investigation is ongoing.

We'll see whether or not anything comes of that.

But there isn't.

And listen, I used to work for Real Madrid TV, and Real Madrid TV, since I've left, obviously, but Real Madrid TV has taken it upon itself to be the bastion of this rabid madridismo and this idea that everybody is against us.

Almost before every single game that they play, they do a video about the referee with historic decisions that this referee has taken against Real Madrid.

So, this referee traditionally disadvantages Real Madrid with his decisions.

Look at this.

In the 2009-2010 season, he did this.

And like every single week, that happens.

It's now making like mediatic noise.

So, you see like articles in Marca or Ass saying Real Madrid TV, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So, it's making noise.

It's making noise about Real Madrid and their conspiracy against the referees, which is nonsense.

Is that not bringing the game into disrepute?

Putting out videos like that.

I mean, that feels like quite a British notion, putting the game into disrepute.

Yeah, I don't think that really is a thing.

But it's so unhelpful for referees.

I mean, it's like for the club, like, to write a letter, you know, to the government as well.

Like the referee in crisis, we've talked about that a bit, you know, in Turkey and France and everywhere, you know, everywhere.

When a club starts making official things like that, just for the future of refereeing, it's a total total disaster.

Did you hear what their idea was?

The idea was to bring English refs in.

Was that right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's Robert Ridd's idea, yeah.

Because, I mean, there's obviously there's never any controversy in England.

None at all,

not at all, not at all.

Um, uh, anyway, let's do uh, uh, Dortmund Leal.

Can we start, Barry, with the Adiemi goal?

What that was the that was the moment that I let out an involuntary noise last night.

Yeah, he's really lit up to Champions League this season playing for Borussia Dortmund, and that was

just an unbelievable strike from outside the area.

The ball drops to him.

His technique was absolutely perfect.

I was wondering where you would stand on it being a half volley or not.

And you duly said it was a half volley.

Because what it bounces twice.

I mean, because a half volley is just all about being...

on the bounce.

It doesn't matter how many times.

That would be only...

Yeah, yeah.

So it's definitely 100% half-volle.

I can't argue with people about that.

The manner in which he kept it, like it barely rose above

the grass, did it?

And just in off, I think it went in off the foot of the post, but an absolutely brilliant strike of a football, just perfect.

Are skimmers the most aesthetically pleasing?

The ones which make you gasp, you know, have this inventory

noise, make this involuntary noise, the skimmer, when it

just floats it's like a hovercraft you know over a still still water but very fast it's very hard it's hard to know i think you might be right like the same strike rising into the top corner is also heavenly and depending on the camera angle just you know a perfectly curled strike ideally with the outside of the foot that you know well i mean we're splitting hairs here but i i a skimmer you know you're right generally top of the goal is better than bottom for aesthetics but actually if it skims like that yeah, wonderful.

What did you, from a Leo point of view, Philippe, what did you make of this one?

I thought the second half was absolutely terrific.

I think commentators were making a bit too much of Boris Adortmund not being quite on the same level in the second 45 minutes.

I thought that the way they reacted, the way that Genesio reacted as well,

was truly impressive with some magnificent performances.

And another great goal.

I mean, it was a night of great goals, to be honest.

Not necessarily great games, but great goals.

And

the way Jonathan David David found Harald Son and Harald Son, you know, being unbalanced, still managing to toe poke the ball, but very much intending to toe poke the ball that way was superb.

And nothing less than they deserved.

And to be honest, I think that if I'm a Leon fan, I'm even a little bit disappointed not to have come back with a win.

And I was talking about the passage of time because I think one of the outstanding performances

from that night was the young Ayuboadi.

And if I tell you he was born in October 2007,

I know.

But this boy, my goodness, had an absolutely superb game.

He has this kind of impudence that I saw in Camavinga when Kamavinga started to go through.

And he had absolutely no hesitation in taking some risks, actually, carrying the ball in midfield.

His range of passing was terrific.

His energy was absolutely amazing, which is very unusual because when you are a teenager like that, usually they find

after the hour, they start to fade a bit.

He didn't.

And I think, yes, honestly,

I do think that Lille will be both very happy with the way they reacted and the performance and the draw, but there will be a tad bit disappointment

not to have done even more, despite Dortmund's dominating first half.

Did anybody in France, Philippe, see this coming from Leo, like see them coming into the last eight?

Nobody.

Absolutely nobody.

You know, they beat Real Madrid.

I saw them at the Metropolitano ride their lakh a little bit and beat Athletico.

This is such an incredible run that, you know, it feels like it's kind of come out of nowhere.

Yeah, well, to be honest, they're a very solid team and everybody knows that, but nobody was expecting them at that level.

And everybody thought that scraping into the playoffs would already be a superb achievement.

And then I think as the results went in and went in, the confidence grew,

and you see it now.

Because honestly,

after being quite under the cushion and

against Borussia as they were for quite a while, I wouldn't have expected that little team to react as it did.

But obviously,

and it's a strange thing, Bruno Genizio, who is not really the most the coolest of managers in France, he's got this really drab image of a kind of technocrat of football,

too old, perhaps.

And look at what he's done with that team.

It also, I mean, we have to say again that whoever is going to get Jonathan David at the end of the season is going to get a very, very, very good player indeed.

It's a pity he will go, but

he's free, guys.

So,

my dear Max, if Tottenham fancy a really good striker, you know,

I could just get him in as a nanny because I'm well up for one of those.

um you know if he's free if he's free and he can do afternoons uh jonathan you're very welcome um tonight uh marco ascencio's psg hosts liverpool um uh some good stuff from respect campaign um the fa have published their written reasons for the two-match touchline ban and 70 000 pound fine that uh answer received following his red card at the end of end of everton's uh 2-2 draw with liverpool last month uh the report states that slots amana was quote, confrontational and aggressive when approaching referee Michael Oliver.

It was alleged that he initially used the abusive words while shaking the referee's hand, including that the referee had, quote, fucking given them everything, and that Arna Slott hoped that the referee was, quote, proud of that performance.

The referee confirmed, having reviewed video footage, that he was then approached again by Arna Slott one minute later in this exchange.

And I like the fact that he's shaking his hand while doing it.

Arna Slott shook the referee's hand and says, if we don't win the league, I'll fucking blame you.

It's then further alleged that Slot turned to the assistant referee and shouted twice that it was a fucking disgrace.

As a result of that, he was shown a red card.

Slot denied using those words, stating in his submission that he had said, if we don't win the league, I will have you to thank for that.

Much like the, who was the man who insulted Eric Cantenar and who in his case said,

ho, ho, ho, it's an early bath for you or something like that.

It's an early bath for you, good sir.

Also,

Slot's assistant, Sipkah Hulshov, received a two-match ban, also reduced from three due to mitigating factors, having confronted Michael Oliver in a, quote, extremely aggressive manner.

According to the Commission, it's alleged that he said the referee was fucking shit and gave him everything and was a fucking disgrace.

And it just sounds like a sun the DFA suede swear jar is going to be brimming over with

a parental,

you know, maybe I'll add that in, a parental, you know, guidance bit for that bit.

But, you know, it just sounds like a Sunday league match.

It does, you know, in many ways, it's so beautiful when the elite levels of the game.

But as we said, Phil, there's never any controversy with referees here.

So, you know, you'll do very well when Real Madrid win those guys over.

Bayam hosts Levakus, which is obviously a fascinating game from a Bundesliga perspective.

Benfica hosts Barca.

Are they confident there, Phil?

Because, I mean, Liverpool and Barca could have got Ben Fica or PSG and Benfica seems the nicer of the two.

Yeah, I think Barcelona were pretty delighted to A, get Ben Fica and B, go on the other side of the draw.

So I think they're thinking we've got a pretty straightforward route with all due respect to Ben Fica and potentially Dortmund or Leal to the semi-finals at least.

They did play a ridiculous game in the league phase, which Barcelona won 5-4 in Lisbon.

It was one of the most ridiculous matches I've ever seen, played in the glorious piercing rain, which makes it even better.

So, yeah, let's see if it's anything similar tonight.

Fire Nord host Inter.

Of course, in the playoffs,

the Low Countries had a hex over the Italians.

So, we'll see if that continues.

And that'll do for part two.

Part three, we'll do Monday Night's FA Cup game, some EFL, and some any other business.

HiPod fans of America, Max here.

Barry's here, too.

Hello.

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Welcome to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly.

So Nottingham Forest completed the FA Cup quarterfinal lineup.

They'll play Brighton away on the 29th of March, getting past Ipswich on penalties.

Barry, do you remember this game?

And if you do, what did you make of it?

I do remember it.

I think Nottingham Forest were probably worth the winners.

They had more chances than Ipswich.

Although they did go behind after about 50 minutes or so George Hurst scoring with a header through

a thicket of bodies at the far post at a corner

Ryan Yates headed an equalizer for Forrest

getting on the end of an Alanga cross from the right

Dan Yates had a goal disallowed for offside correctly.

Callum Hudson Adoy curled the most Callum Hudson Adoy shot you can imagine off the woodwork.

It was a bit unlucky.

That would have been a beauty if it had gone in.

Sam Morsey had a long-range effort for Ipswich that went narrowly wide.

And then penalty shootout, Forrest scored for all five of theirs.

Jack Taylor, who missed in the penalty shootout for Ipswich when they got knocked out of the

League Cup, he missed again.

He had his penalty saved by Matt Sales.

So Forrest goes through to what should be a very interesting tie against Brighton.

There was a nice exchange on Blue Sky

regarding Burnley and not conceding goals, where I tweeted out for questions.

I blue skyed out for questions, rather.

And Zemoniak said, what will happen first?

World War III or James Trafford conceding a goal?

He then replied very quickly, this aged very badly.

To which Tombo said, I just checked.

I don't think I've ever

been so relieved to see that Cardiff have scored a goal.

But yes, it was that Cardiff has scored against Burnley.

Not that World War III had started, but another win for Burnley.

Shock defeat for Birmingham at Bolton in League One.

They're still nine points clear of second place.

Wickham and 11 points ahead of Wrexham, who are in third with a game in hand on both.

Cambridge Neil Stevenage won the end of the Neil Harris bounce.

I was watching this and it was quite funny because, you know...

Cambridge, it was a terrible game of football.

And I kept looking up and, you know, Adie Amy scores that goal and Rodrigo scores and Alvarez scores these brilliant goals.

And in the Cambridge Stevenage game at halftime,

there had been no shots not a not one shot by anyone going anywhere um meanwhile Philippe you uh put in the group a wonderful goal

by uh Tigre women's team tell me about it so Tigres it was a Tigrés Mundajara in the Mexican league just uh a day ago and uh across by Jenya Moso uh you know the famous Jenya Moso of the Spanish national team and directed towards uh this this Mexican player called Jacquio Ovale or Ovalle and

who

very

and with intent executed the most extraordinary scorpion kick that you will ever see in your life because

perfect balance she really means it and she means it with to hit it with the studs which is unbelievable

and and it's not for nothing she's called La Maga in Mexico.

And actually, it was quite funny because when people started

sharing the goal on Blue Sky,

people commented, why is there somebody holding a protrum blackheart

in Mexico?

In Mexico.

And in fact, she's called La Maga, which means the magician.

And she's a magician.

And yes, I mean, the Puscas Prize

has now officially been given to Jacqui Ovalle of Mexico.

Watch it.

It's It's an absolutely glorious thing.

There are several angles, one in particular,

which is from behind, from the back, from behind the goal.

And you will gasp.

You know, some goals make you emit an involuntary

noise.

Other goals make you gasp and remain silent.

This is one of the latter ones.

It's like something out of the matrix, like the way she contorts her body.

Is it better than the Tyrone Mines clearance?

It's got more beauty to it.

I mean,

both are quite incredible.

Well, the Tyrone Mings clearance technically didn't happen because the referee awarded a gold kick.

He didn't notice it.

No, it's a very good point.

Speaking of MAGA, Philippe, you've written about Infantino's close relationship with a host of world leaders.

Before we get to that,

obviously everybody is...

just watching the news with their sort of hands over their face at the moment.

And obviously what's happening in Ukraine is far more important than tariffs, right?

But Trump imposing these tariffs on Canada and Mexico when they're about to host a World Cup together in 2026.

And obviously, things can change with Trump over every minute, let alone every day.

But is there a potential impact on this?

Or you wanted to talk about what this might mean?

Yeah,

there is a potential impact.

And

perhaps even before

the FIFA World Cup in 2026, because we've got the Club World Cup coming

in 2025, one of the, there are several problems.

One is the appalling state of relationship, the appalling relationship between Washington and the Canadian government and the Mexican government, even if Mexico has been a little bit more guarded in its comments.

Apparently, Cody Ashenboh is only going to speak this weekend.

But basically, it's a common economic war.

It's bound to have an impact.

And one of the

areas which many people are already asking questions about is when it's going to come to the movement of fans.

Because when you see all the restrictions which are being put already by the Trump administration, and you can only imagine that it's going to get worse and

escalate, unless, of course, he changes his mind.

I mean, there were rumors that he was going to drop the tariffs later on today.

Maybe he will.

We don't know what goes on in that big orange head.

Brain.

Yeah, I'm just trying to be polite.

and it's difficult, but it's going to be a major problem because some of the and it's going to be an absolute nightmare for FIFA because one of the things is that FIFA is a traveling circus.

The competitions basically they bring with them like their own tax regime, their own immigration regime.

Everything is done according to FIFA.

There's no way that Trump is going to accept that.

No way.

And so we're going to have flashpoints probably for the Club World Cup.

And it will be even worse for the 2026 World Cup, especially given that he wants to annex Greenland, Panama, and now Canada as well.

I mean, just mad.

And

what makes the problem even more

problematic, so to speak, is that he has a very staunch friend in Jenny Infantino.

You surprise me.

And, you know, who has

I mean, I think this extraordinary utterance when he went to Trump's inauguration, where he had no place, there was no no place for him.

No FIFA president has ever attended what is actually a private event, believe it or not.

Was he next to Salt Bay?

He was two seats away from Elon Musk.

Right, lovely.

Yeah, well, how lovely.

And he's constantly being playing up and sucking up to Trump all of the time.

But there might be one point where he's going to have to...

Well, is he going to actually put that into action?

And as if, is the USA going to be able to do, for example, what Qatar did, you know, remember with the sale of alcohol?

Well, and FIFA went, okay, fine, that's fine.

But this is going to be the sale of alcohol or the non-sale of alcohol times 100.

Because if you're, imagine if you're a traveling fan of Pachuca or Leon, right, coming from Mexico.

What's going to happen for the immigration rules?

Are they going to be relaxed?

Can you imagine one second the Trump administration accepting to relax immigration rules or for the World Cup, where there's going to be countries whose citizens, under normal circumstances, would feel the wrath of the American, the U.S.

immigration services.

Do you think he's going to

decide, oh, that's fine, everybody can come in?

Of course not.

I think he might.

I just think he might, because

he might.

But he can't with the crazies behind him.

Yeah, but he can basically, they'll just do whatever he says.

I mean, isn't that the sort of the utter sort of tragedy of all of that?

I don't know.

And

it's so depressing.

And the fact is, you know,

Infantino is certainly not going to be the man who is going to put any resistance.

He still has his order of friendship, which he got from Vladimir Putin in the Kremlin.

He still hasn't sent it back.

You know,

it's just shocking.

Absolutely shocking.

I do apologize

to our listeners because we would like to have football being about

Jackie Ovae's goal and Tyron Ming's miraculous

save which wasn't a save which didn't happen because there was a gold kick.

This is what we would like to care about.

But unfortunately there's also this reality of we have now a changed world and we have a World Cup, which is going to be interesting, my dear Max.

We were talking, you know, remember how when we were talking about the World Cup in Saudi Arabia, the World Cup in Qatar, and we said we'll apply the same stringent criteria to the way we cover the World Cup in 2026.

And we meant it.

How many podcasts will we have to do?

We'll have to do a thousand podcasts.

For the benefit of the tape, Max has had his head in his hands for the last four minutes.

Yeah, and it was before Trump was elected.

So, my goodness.

Good.

Yeah, we have, yeah, anyway.

Yeah, moving on in issues that shouldn't start World War III,

but you never know.

Arsen Wenger is set to propose a new change to the off-side law that would mean it being measured by the position of players' upper torsos rather than extremities such as their feet or toenails.

The proposal is likely to be approved for a trial when IFAB meet in Belfast.

I think they met last Saturday, didn't they?

Yeah, I think

Jani was up there, I think.

What's the best policy here then?

If you're running through,

lean back, sort of like Michael Johnson would be good because he was sort of quite an upright runner, wasn't he?

Knees out, and knees offside, just torso.

Whereas Adama Triore is screwed because of his pecs.

I don't know what this means, Barry.

Neither do I.

So, torso, head is not included, no?

Well, I mean, not the last time I checked what a torso was.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm just trying to think.

I don't know.

I'm afraid to say it doesn't sound totally ludicrous, but

in case I'm

swept away in a tidal wave of ridicule, you kind of sprung this on me.

I need to think about it.

But

it doesn't sound completely mad.

Isn't it a way to verbalize the idea that being a bit offside is okay?

Because at the

beginning,

Wenger was of the idea of clear daylight.

Do you remember that?

Yeah,

which is ridiculous.

Which is absolutely ridiculous and especially when you play at night

anyway

yeah yeah absolutely

and then it became this thing which again is going to be very open to interpretation because

torso yeah

right

i mean that now it's just if any part of your body with which you can score a goal is offside then you're offside and i mean that seemed quite logical even if it is millimetric then it's you know you know if if your toenail is offside

yeah it's still going to be millimetric just with different parts of the body so I don't know if you had long nipples that would be bad

when it's very when it's very cold when it's very cold yeah yeah yeah yeah

I mean look you've got to draw a line somewhere I guess but you know I yeah when I think was it Jacob Ramsey was offside at the weekend and I thought that's not I would just I know he's offside but it doesn't feel like it but I didn't his torso may have been the thing playing him off I don't know But

I don't necessarily disagree with you, Barry.

I'd like to see it in action before I

roundly mock it.

Jumping for Joyce, there's no questions, really, but please compliment Philippe on his new single.

Reminded me in parts of 80s McCartney and XTC.

Yeah, sell your single, Philippe.

It's great.

Thank you very much.

That's very kind.

And

where can one purchase it?

On Bandcamp, which is

the nice way to do it on the Louis Philippe website,

because that's my artist's name and that's very kind.

I wasn't expecting this, Max, but thank you very much.

I'm quite happy with it.

And it's got a beautiful video as well, which is taken from a Billy Wilder Seward Mac film from the 1930s, which we

appropriated, shall we say.

But it's out of copyright, that's fine.

Okay.

But it's, yeah, it's called Pictures of Anna and it's on Tappete Records with the album being released on the 2nd of May and a concert in London.

Well, you know, I might as well make the most of this.

Yeah.

And a concert at the Water Rats in London, King's Cross on 12th July with a full band.

Ah, lovely.

Okay.

Thank you.

We'll all be there.

Thank you, Philippe.

That'll do for today.

Thanks, everybody.

Thank you, Philippe.

Thank you.

Cheers, Baz.

Thank you.

Thank you, Phil.

Cheers.

A reminder, you can listen to our sister podcast, Women's Football Weekly, wherever you get your podcast.

A particularly good episode yesterday on potential changes to the WSL and championship and England's win over Spain.

Football Weekly is produced by Joel Grove.

Our executive producer is Danielle Stevens.

We'll be back tomorrow.

This is The Guardian.