Atlético rock Inter and Bournemouth bounce back – Football Weekly Extra

Speaker 1 This is The Guardian.

Speaker 2 If you're an experienced pet owner, you already know that having a pet is 25% belly rubs, 25% yelling, drop it, and 50% groaning at the bill from every vet visit.

Speaker 2 Which is why Lemonade Pet Insurance is tailor-made for your pet and can save you up to 90% on vet bills.

Speaker 2 It can help cover checkups, emergencies, diagnostics, basically all the stuff that makes your bank account nervous.

Speaker 2 Claims are filed super easily through the Lemonade app and half get settled instantly.

Speaker 2 Get a quote at lemonade.com/slash pet and they'll help cover the vet bill for whatever your pet swallowed after you yelled, drop it.

Speaker 3 You know those cravings that hit you out of nowhere? Charred steak tacos, silky mushroom risotto, or a perfect summer salad.

Speaker 3 When the craving hits, Cook Unity delivers, made with real ingredients and no shortcuts.

Speaker 3 Get ready-to-eat meals delivered directly to your door, all tailored to your lifestyle, dietary needs, and cravings. Get what you're craving.

Speaker 3 Go to cookunity.com/slash crave or enter crave before checkout for free premium meals for life. That's cookunity.com/slash crave.

Speaker 5 Hello, and welcome to the Guardian Football Weekly.

Speaker 5 And we'll get to one of the games of the season in the Premier League in a little bit but we've got a Sidlo cameo which means the Champions League and Artaro Martinez baggioing it and Athleti going through to the quarterfinals all the clichés they're never right off Diego Simeone turning it around against Europe's form team and Inter are out.

Speaker 5 A night for feeling that former player doing well pride for Manchester United fans as Memphis Depay turns it around for Athleti while Jaden Sancho does it in Dortmund.

Speaker 5 An early goal sets them on their way and they just about do enough against PSV. Then to Bournemouth, did Ireola try the Lads It's Luton team talk? 3-0 down to 4-3.

Speaker 5 The Hatters again so close to getting something, but a glorious turn from Dominic Solanke sets the Cherries on their way to a stunning comeback.

Speaker 5 We'll look ahead to the FA Cup quarterfinals and the Premier League fixtures. There are fears about Andy Townsend's dinner.
Your questions, and that's today's Guardian Football Weekly.

Speaker 5 Matthew says a very erudite panel, but he did write that before he knew that Sid was on for part one. So I don't know if it's now no longer erudite, but welcome, Sid.

Speaker 7 Apologies for ruining everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Archie Win Tat.
Hello. Hello.
Hello, Jonathan Wilson. Morning.
How are you doing?

Speaker 5 I'm very good. Thank you.
Hello, John Bruin.

Speaker 8 Hello. Isn't Sid the most qualified of us here? So

Speaker 8 I think he does add to the erudition, in fact. I'm sorry, Jonathan.

Speaker 1 I think that's true, actually.

Speaker 6 No, no, my doctorate is merely honorary.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, God, he had to mention it, didn't he?

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 5 Biggest twat of the season.

Speaker 5 I never thought that would be on a pod that Barry wasn't on, but there we are.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 5 let's start at the Wanda Metropolitano. Athleti 2 into 1.
Athletic going to on penalties. Jez says, Did Martinez's pen going up hit Chris Waddles coming down, which I enjoyed.

Speaker 1 Sid, you were there.

Speaker 5 Had a very late night, got up early for us. How was it?

Speaker 7 It was brilliant.

Speaker 7 It was a really great occasion in terms of the noise, the excitement, the tension, and also the way that Atletico played.

Speaker 7 They kind of really went for Inter to to start with and you thought, okay, well, maybe there's a chance here, but it felt to me, I don't know, you're not watching on the telly, but it felt like Inter had the control of it, that it was all right, Atletico going at them.

Speaker 7 They were going to pick their way through them. They did it a couple of times before they scored.
And when it went 1-0, to be honest, you thought, that's it, it's done.

Speaker 7 A bit of a joke goal

Speaker 7 for Griezmann. Inter made a horrendous, horrendous mess of it.
But after that, from the second half, all the way through the second half, Atletico, I think, looked more likely to win it.

Speaker 7 Although, again, Inter had two really really good chances to have killed it off and Memphis de Pay was I mean he was kind of superhuman it was people were bouncing off him it was like he was absolutely unstoppable he when he scored the goal which he scored on what was it 88 minutes or something he'd had basically three chances in six or seven minutes it was a third of them and he smacked one off the post another that he couldn't quite sort of turn and get in from really really close range and he was just kind of dragging Atletico through it.

Speaker 7 It was the difference between him and Alvin Amurata was

Speaker 7 quite telling, to say the least.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And tell us about it.
I mean, it did. I felt like I could hear it in Australia when Depay scored that goal in the 87 because they'd hit the post, hadn't they? And then they scored.

Speaker 5 And then even Correa could have done it in 90 minutes.

Speaker 7 Well, I don't know if you noticed this. I don't know if it was picked up.

Speaker 7 But as when

Speaker 7 Depay scores, he goes sprinting towards the corner. Obviously, everyone's chasing him.
The normal sort of footballer scores goal thing. Everyone's running off and the noise noise is incredible.

Speaker 7 Simeoni sets off to join them and then pulls up and he pulled a hamstring and he kind of sort of stops very sharply and turns and hops back to the bench looking really, really, really sheepish.

Speaker 7 And you think, well, that's a nice Simeone moment. We're going into tricks.
And then we had another one because Griezmann set up

Speaker 7 Raquelme, wasn't it?

Speaker 7 For the winner.

Speaker 1 Was it Raquelme?

Speaker 7 Or was it Raquelme, or was it Barris? No, it was Raquelme. No, no, it was Raquelme.

Speaker 7 Sets up Raquelme

Speaker 7 with 20 seconds to go. Simeon just lying face down on the bitch thinking, I can't believe this has happened.
To be fair, Raquel May played really well after that.

Speaker 7 I thought that could have sunk him, played really well and scored his penalty. But even Depay's, you know, we talk about Depay's impact on the game, even his penalty was brilliant.

Speaker 7 And he took a penalty like he was like he spotted someone in the crowd who he wanted to smash in the face, but the only way to do it was to go through the net to them because

Speaker 1 it's so hard.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was Julian Dix taking Schmeichel into the game with him.

Speaker 1 It was Kevin Presswell. Kevin Presswell.

Speaker 5 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 5 What did he make of it, John?

Speaker 8 Amazing atmosphere.

Speaker 8 Incredible Simeone ball, really. The Champions League gets a lot of criticisms, but I suppose there are certain constants, and one of those is Simeone's

Speaker 8 sort of wrecking ball football, unapologetic. You know, there won't be any sort of change to the style of football.

Speaker 8 I mean, I suppose there's slight adjustments that Sid could run us through, but we know what you're getting. I was listening to a talk sport the other day, as I do sometimes, And Graeme Soonas.

Speaker 8 Go shows on it. There was great shows on there.
But Graham Soonas was on it. And Graham Soonas

Speaker 8 talked about our football and our league and their sequence of our

Speaker 8 and it was just amazing. And I just thought, so I thought, I thought about our league.

Speaker 8 And I think the Champions League, one of its qualities these days is like a vintage, as in the second-hand online store version of the Champions League.

Speaker 8 Because that penalty shootout, you had missing, you had Saul, Chelsea Reject, you had

Speaker 8 Alexis Sanchez. Okay, you had Memphis taking a wonderful penalty.
I mean, we'll get on to Jaden Sancho later.

Speaker 8 I mean, it's just, it's just, you know, you're meeting old friends in the Champions League these days if you're our league. It's

Speaker 8 like a sort of dad's army type of thing, isn't it? And

Speaker 8 but yeah, it was a great game. And, you know,

Speaker 8 in these days where we say that everything isn't as good as it used to be, thank God for that tie. It was great fun.

Speaker 5 Were you slightly disappointed with Inter, Jonathan? We'd heard so much, you know. I mean, it is a sign.
We saw Arsenal who are tearing it up in the Premier League find Porto very difficult.

Speaker 5 Inter, who are flying in Serie A, but it doesn't necessarily translate.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, I thought the same off the first leg, to be honest, where the first half of the first leg, I thought Inter were really poor, and they were better at the second half, and they got the goal, but then, yeah,

Speaker 6 the first half yesterday, I sort of,

Speaker 6 when they went ahead, I started to think, oh, maybe I'm being a bit unfair, and maybe they have actually controlled the game pretty well.

Speaker 6 At that point, I'd let go, I didn't really created a huge amount. They had some crosses, but I hadn't really any clear chances.

Speaker 7 Loads of crosses, but not a lot, yeah.

Speaker 6 But then, as soon as Gresman scored, it was a farcical game. I mean, Pavar's sort of

Speaker 6 attempted clearance, he sort of hooks backwards.

Speaker 5 He has struck balls better than that in his career, hasn't he?

Speaker 1 Yeah, although

Speaker 1 I think that other one was a missing as well, but that's not going to last.

Speaker 6 But they were pretty bad after that. And extra time, actually, they rallied slightly.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I thought they were poor.

Speaker 6 Or poor's too strong.

Speaker 6 They were just a little bit flatter, a little bit less than what I thought they might be, given their Serie A record, given what I've heard people who watch the Taliban people regularly say about them.

Speaker 6 And you know how you get some players who they're clearly really good players, but whenever you watch them, they're crap. Like Tari Martinez, how has he scored 23 goals on Serie A?

Speaker 6 Every time I watch him, he misses chances.

Speaker 1 I just don't understand.

Speaker 6 It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Speaker 6 How do I get every bad game he plays?

Speaker 7 I used to think this, honestly, with Cavani. I could never see how Cavani was a good player.

Speaker 7 And same as you, I kept thinking to myself, it must be me. He can't have these numbers.
He can't be this good and yet quite demonstrably not be good every time I watch him. It can't be his fault.

Speaker 7 It must be mine.

Speaker 7 In Lautaro's defence, maybe he's got that many goals because he's had so many chances. Because I thought

Speaker 7 the way that he played last night,

Speaker 7 despite the penalty miss, he's entitled to look at teammates and say, we should be through. And I should have a couple of really, really good assists for the which are the reason why we're through.

Speaker 7 And I think he's his

Speaker 7 the way that he plays, the way that he links things up, I was really impressed with him last night, despite the finishing. I'll give him that.

Speaker 7 The other thing is, in all of this, allow me to be the kind of person waving the little Spain flag here, and please do, or maybe, or maybe waving an all-black flag for Diego Simeone.

Speaker 7 And that is that this Athletico-Madrid team, beyond the clichés, is really, really terrible away from home, but exceptional at home.

Speaker 5 They never lost a knockout game in the Champions League.

Speaker 7 Yeah, but also, if you just take it in terms of what they've done this season, they got beaten by Athletic Club in the Cup of the Race semifinal first leg about, what is it, about three, four weeks ago.

Speaker 7 They got beaten 1-0. That was the first defeat in 28 games at home.
In La Liga, they've picked up 40 of 42 points at home.

Speaker 7 They've been dreadful away from home, but that's one defeat in basically 14 months now. So although it was Inter who won every game this year,

Speaker 7 you just kind of looked at it and you thought, well, Atletico are actually a good side at home. And I know people don't talk about him a huge amount, but Antoine Griezmann's a brilliant footballer.

Speaker 7 He was coming back from injury. They are scoring goals.

Speaker 7 In fact, if anything, and I was talking to someone at the club literally, I don't know, 40 minutes before kickoff, and he said what I think most people believed as well, at least internally, which was that you know, the thing that they're worried about is some silly mistake at the back.

Speaker 7 Atletico's problem isn't the Atletico problem of old. Yeah, they're really defensive, but they don't score goals.
It's that they've been really dreadful defensively and making lots of silly mistakes.

Speaker 7 And so them scoring goals maybe wasn't a huge surprise, but I would agree that it didn't feel like they were going to until they were gifted a really stupid goal.

Speaker 1 Given who's left in the competition,

Speaker 1 there's a certain irony that it feels like Inter were better this season and yet will not be in the quarterfinals when they reached the final last season.

Speaker 1 Something similar to what happened with Napoli, albeit they didn't make it, albeit they made it to the quarterfinals at least last year.

Speaker 1 I was just interested to see as well, in my mind, Atletico are always making the quarterfinals, and yet this is, I think, only the third time in the last seven years that they've made it that far, which is which is surprising.

Speaker 1 I guess that run where they were in the final twice and then in the semis as well

Speaker 1 has Has played tricks on the mind to a certain extent. But

Speaker 1 I'm just wondering, Sid,

Speaker 1 how big a deal this is for Athleti to get

Speaker 1 this far again?

Speaker 7 Massive. And

Speaker 7 it's massive, A, because, as you say, it reconnects them with that. And you look back on that run of getting to finals and semi-finals.

Speaker 7 I mean,

Speaker 7 it's a bit tongue-in-cheek, but you look at them, and they were Real Madrid's greatest allies.

Speaker 7 They would happily clear from Realmadru's paths all the really good teams and then say, and here we are to be beaten by you. Thanks very much.

Speaker 7 Correct me if i'm wrong i think it's four years in a row that they got knocked out by rail madrid so they were the sort of the beard trimmer before you would then get the razor that probably sponsors this podcast for the clean i mean to be honest that's not the analogy i had in mind but yes that'll do very nicely

Speaker 7 and and you know it's four in a four in a row i think it's two finals the semifinal and the quarter final against rail madrid and you know that if they meet mural madrid in this competition despite having been the only beat team to beat rail madrid in the league despite having knocked rail madrid out of the copla rais somehow you know if they face them in europe that will be it the other reason it was huge for them is that actually their season's fallen apart in the last few weeks.

Speaker 7 So as I said, they've been really good at home, but really poor away from home. And that poor away from home has become absolute disastrous away from home in recent weeks.

Speaker 7 So they got knocked out of the Copeland Ray. They've only won, they'd only won two of their last nine coming into this.
They were conceding really stupid goals.

Speaker 7 They've been beaten at Cadiff at the weekend. Cadiff, who hadn't won in six months, had beaten Athletic Commercial 2-0.
So there was this real sense of

Speaker 7 this is not just a team that needs needs this in terms of getting back to feeling like they're a big European team, but in terms of having their season mean anything.

Speaker 7 Because at the moment, they're now in a fight to even finish fourth. They might not get back in next year.
I think they probably will, but there's a chance that they don't get back in next year.

Speaker 7 And so it was huge. And Simeoni had been asked about the fans.

Speaker 7 You know, everyone's watched Simeone, and a lot of it is about building up the idea of the fans and kind of ceding protagonism to them and telling them how wonderful they are and say, come on, we can do this and conducting them and stuff.

Speaker 7 And in the pre-game press conference, he was asked the classic question, which someone always asks, always, what's your message for the fans? He says, I can't tell them anything.

Speaker 7 They're so annoyed with us. I'm not going to ask them for anything.
I don't deserve to ask them for anything.

Speaker 1 But it was just his way of saying, come on, lads, let's do this.

Speaker 5 It's a much smarter answer, isn't it? Than just, you know, like, we need you. That's, you know, like, because then it, they go, oh, we'll show Diego.
I mean, I mean, like, he's been there for so long.

Speaker 5 I just wonder if it, it didn't sound like it last night, certainly, but if there's, if it's getting stale, because I know that athletic, they've obviously got all those traits, but they aren't the same like you've alluded to.

Speaker 5 And I wonder if he has tried to evolve them and then sort of goes, oh, actually, I want to evolve them this much, but I just can't totally let go of old athleti.

Speaker 7 Well, no,

Speaker 7 we have this kind of thing, and it's circular. And they, I don't know if this is even correct English, but they kind of evolve out into something and then revolve back again.

Speaker 7 And this happens periodically. You have periods when you go, okay, Athletico are being a bit more expansive.
And then there's almost this sense of... this isn't quite us and they come back again.

Speaker 7 But you look at the quality of the squad and the type of players they've got and it is them, even if you've got a manager who likes the defensive solidity.

Speaker 7 And of course, as I say, the part of the debate this year has been why have they been so bad defensively and there's been a almost a yearning for for athletico to be able to hold on to a game and win it 1-0 or to be able to win 1-0 with a header from a corner which just kind of isn't really happening and they're actually genuinely good to watch in terms of the sort of simioni's own position you have these moments and it and that's cyclical as well where yeah there's a little bit of actually you know what it's coming to the end and then it's not and then they're expansive again you think oh they're playing really well so they finished last season brilliantly and they started this season season quite well you thought oh you know this is a team that could actually win the league the year they did win the league which is what is it three years ago now i think at the start of that season was the season when we all thought actually this might be the last for simeone and they go and win the league and they're going to win the league at least in the first half of the season playing really quite good football really quite expansive then in the second half of the season holding on on a lot but it was very dramatic and they were very good to watch and so so i i think that the the thing with simeoni is i think deep down everybody really wants it to end the right way so that it never reaches that point.

Speaker 7 Now, there's been moments when it's felt like it might, but it never quite does.

Speaker 7 And Simeone said this last night post-game, something along, I can't remember the exact wording, but it was something along the lines of, you know, I've got to thank these fans because I've been here for 12 years and they are still doing this and they're still doing this for me and for the team.

Speaker 7 And they still never get tired of us. Now, of course, there are moments when they do, but actually, broadly speaking, he's true.

Speaker 7 And for all the other things that are thrown at Simeone, he is the best manager in their history and possibly any Spanish team's history ever.

Speaker 5 Which is quite good when you put it that way. Chris says, where is the red line with genitalia-based fouls? Have the PGMOL issued guidelines? We demand to know.

Speaker 5 I mean, Wilson, you smiled, so I'll come to you. Taram on Savage in Vinny Jones on Gaza style.
I mean, I am surprised VAR didn't go, I think that's a red. I mean,

Speaker 5 I don't know what they're, I don't know,

Speaker 5 it does feel like

Speaker 5 not

Speaker 5 really on.

Speaker 6 I thought it was, would be a red.

Speaker 6 And then the two players just seemed to find it hilarious afterwards. They're standing there having a laugh, shoving each other around.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 6 I don't know what was going on there. And there seemed to be some sort of, I mean, I'm extrapolating wildly from

Speaker 6 what you could see in the conversation. But it seemed to be as if, well, you squeezed my elbow, so I also had a squeeze.

Speaker 6 But I don't think those things are equivalent.

Speaker 7 What, elbows and gonads? I think you're probably right.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Did we not need Mike Dean to to tell us what's

Speaker 8 that that was a point where we actually needed mike dean you know after all after all these complaints that was the one time you know well they cut to peter walton and he's not there yeah peter waltz me night off sorry bye i'm not sullying myself with this conversation i would i would have liked the referee to pick it up i need to have seen the the the amusingly officious language with which he would have never

Speaker 7 had to describe it in his match reports

Speaker 5 also notice david classen's hair transplant which may be the greatest of all the footballer hair transplants.

Speaker 5 Amazing.

Speaker 8 Well, the thing is, there's a guy that hasn't had hair for quite a long time.

Speaker 1 I mean, a decade. And then, yeah, yeah, and then just suddenly,

Speaker 8 I mean, how would you describe his style? It's sort of like a

Speaker 8 Nicola Bertie. You know, he's sort of gone for the...

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, that sort of slight side parsing.

Speaker 5 Sort of John Scales,

Speaker 5 slightly old, very 90s Alan Parge.

Speaker 8 Yeah, quite smart. Yeah, he's thought,

Speaker 8 you know, all that time, he's just had none and just sort of wanders around thinking, if I could, what would I have?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And he's gone for that. He did that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good for him, eh? He also,

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure he shook his head in a way that said, I'm about to miss just before he died. You know what? You know what?

Speaker 7 Because you segued from hair into that. I was expecting you to about to say salon selective.
So he shook his head in a way that said, like, you've

Speaker 7 been trying to show it off, you know, flip it slowly through the the air.

Speaker 5 While we've got you, Sid, look, you've got three Spanish sides through.

Speaker 5 Where do you put their...

Speaker 5 What are their sort of relative chances? The draw makes quite a big difference, which is tomorrow night.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I must admit, that's what I was thinking last night. I was thinking the draw really defines massively.

Speaker 5 Tomorrow morning, I would say UK time. Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 7 Really defines massively what their chances are.

Speaker 7 I mean, on the basic face of it, I think Atletico Madrid, the way they're competing, will be, if they can be even half decent away from home, will be difficult for anyone.

Speaker 7 Barcelona, I thought, were pretty good against Napoli, but they've been so erratic this year, and they do have a big hole in the midfield,

Speaker 7 despite the fact that they played well the other day. And I really do like Federmin Lobeth a lot.
I feel like Barcelona, in theory, the weakest of them.

Speaker 7 But then if you get a strong, if you get Barcelona's best 11 out, there's not a huge amount wrong with it. They've not played very well.
There's no huge amount wrong with it.

Speaker 7 And Real Madrid is such a strange team because for a lot of this season, I've thought...

Speaker 7 They're not all that good, but I've always felt like they've got enough and they've got so much talent in the team that they will be too strong.

Speaker 7 So I think if you're going to go for it, who's the one that's going to go the furthest? Real Madrid. But I think the draw will define it a lot.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's mad for Barcelona to go. If they can get their best 11 out, it's not actually that bad.
Like, talking about Barcelona is sort of mad, but that's how far they've fallen, I guess.

Speaker 5 Anyway, Sid, you can go back to bed. Thanks, mate.

Speaker 7 Thank you very much. Cheerio.

Speaker 5 Lovely stuff. Uh, Sid Low out in Spain.
So the panel suddenly becomes erudite again. As we will start part two with Dortmund's victory over PSV.

Speaker 9 Hi, folks. It's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman.

Speaker 9 You know, whether you are doing traditional Thanksgiving, a friend's giving, or something in between, Whole Foods Market has great everyday prices on all the things you need for Thanksgiving.

Speaker 9 No way antibiotics ever birds bring quality to your table at a great price. You can enjoy so many ways to save on your Thanksgiving spread at Whole Foods Market.

Speaker 9 And remember, Prime gives you shop online and delivery or pickup as you like.

Speaker 4 If you're a custodial supervisor at a local high school, you know that cleanliness is key and that the best place to get cleaning supplies is from Granger.

Speaker 4 Granger helps you stay fully stocked on the products you trust, from paper towels and disinfectants to floor scrubbers.

Speaker 4 Plus, you can rely on Granger for easy reordering so you never run out of what you need. Call 1-800GRANGER, clickgranger.com, or just stop by.
Granger for the ones who get it done.

Speaker 5 Welcome to part two of the Guardian Football Weekly. So, Dortmund 2 PSV Nil, Archie, you were there.
How was it?

Speaker 1 It was a strange game

Speaker 1 because Dortmund flew out the traps in a way that I've not seen them play this season.

Speaker 1 And then, after the first half hour, it felt the more the game went on, the more PSV

Speaker 1 got more control on the game. I spoke to their coach Peter Bosch after it, and he said that they went man to man against Dortmund all over the pitch from around about the half hour mark.

Speaker 1 And at that point, Dortmund, the more they had to think, the worse they looked. When they were playing in this furious rage to begin with,

Speaker 1 they looked really good.

Speaker 1 And I think part of that is because of something Peter Bosch did. He turned Dortmund round to play towards their south stands, to play towards the yellow wall in the first half.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's not on that, is it?

Speaker 1 Boo that.

Speaker 5 You know, it's the right thing to do, but like, it's really annoying when the away side do that.

Speaker 1 The home fans whistled it. And then

Speaker 1 I swear, I think it was one of the reasons why Dortmund started so well and won this game.

Speaker 1 and i asked bosch about it and i said what was your thinking it was like yeah it was a small thing it didn't help so he in a way they they paid the price for that the the the kind of chances they created throughout the game eindhoven

Speaker 1 were

Speaker 1 from

Speaker 1 not from the best shooting positions dortmund managed to stick about eight people in the way every time in in in that central block they had one really good chance through Luke de Jong at the end, but ultimately, yeah, that's massive.

Speaker 5 I mean, it's an enormous chance that.

Speaker 1 Also, for it to come from just a long goalkeeper kick and allowing it to bounce as well. And you think even at this Champions League level, that can happen.

Speaker 5 What is don't let it bounce in German, aren't you?

Speaker 1 Lassis Niche sumbordenfeilen.

Speaker 5 Is that yelled on Sunday league pitches, on Sontag

Speaker 1 league pitches?

Speaker 1 I don't think so. Well, I get lambasted for going long by my teammates.

Speaker 1 Right. To the point that they're like, oh, we all know what's going to happen here.
And I'm like,

Speaker 8 how do they say it, though?

Speaker 8 There must be some, you know, quick.

Speaker 8 Because

Speaker 8 when you play football, there's always this sort of way of cutting words down, isn't there?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 You know, like man on, you know, it's got to be guttural. Or do the Germans not do that? It's just like a long...

Speaker 1 There are a lot of long classical instructions, let me tell you. Oh, God.
And lots lots of long discussions.

Speaker 1 There are shorter things, but I don't, nothing comes to mind of a quick, don't let it bounce.

Speaker 8 Is there a cliché thing that they say, you know, like all day?

Speaker 5 Alice Targ.

Speaker 1 Alice Targ.

Speaker 8 Mench. Archie's ball.

Speaker 6 On the subject of Get It Launched, which I know John is

Speaker 6 maybe the main populariser of the phrase.

Speaker 6 I don't know if you listen to the rest of his history, but they're doing a series on a Titanic at the minute.

Speaker 6 And in episode two of six on the Titanic, they use the phrase, get it launched for the Titanic.

Speaker 1 Wow. So your influence has spread that.

Speaker 5 And they shouldn't have done.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean,

Speaker 6 that's seriously what the series is about. I mean, they do seem quite soft on Kunard's and suggest that actually they took more safety measures than most equivalent companies.

Speaker 8 They just happened to not put enough lifeboats on. The small matter of.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, again, I mean, I suspect people are a bit off, but this is the necessary history, but apparently they had

Speaker 6 more lifeboats than any equivalent ship at the time because they just genuinely thought it could not be sunk because it had 15 bulkheads and they had two separate layers on the hull.

Speaker 6 So they thought it couldn't be sunk.

Speaker 1 Small flooring.

Speaker 1 Small floor.

Speaker 6 So the lifeboats are actually not to rescue people on board, but in case they meet another ship in difficulty.

Speaker 5 Look, I know the rest is history chaps, I think they do phenomenally well financially, but I don't think we get the same if we just repeat their podcast. I don't think, not so, that's how it works.

Speaker 5 This is now the rest is the rest is history.

Speaker 1 If you don't want the answer, ask the question.

Speaker 5 You spoke to Jaden Sancho afterwards, Archie, and clearly, like from an English perspective, you're watching him and thinking it's just so nice to see him playing with confidence and beating men.

Speaker 5 It looks like in a Man United shirt, he honestly didn't dribble round one player once. I can't remember it, and he just looked so fluent in that first half hour, certainly.

Speaker 1 This is the other side to the equation

Speaker 1 of the Lautaro Martinez conundrum. The only Jaden Sancho I've seen is the one who plays like this, who beats players for fun, looks like he's having such a great time, and

Speaker 1 he was getting back to that place last night where he did something, I think it was in the 13th minute, where

Speaker 1 he...

Speaker 1 You don't think that Bakayoko is even on his radar,

Speaker 1 and yet he does a skill round him that just made the stadium go whoa

Speaker 1 and I think those are the moments that I associate Jaden Sancho with and Eden Terzich has made a big play of saying you need to get him smiling not thinking I think that he he does seem to be in a better place again but will he sacrifice

Speaker 1 what

Speaker 1 will he make financial sacrifices in the summer to

Speaker 1 potentially potentially get the rhythm to play at a club like Dortmund? I'm not sure. When he's in that kind of form,

Speaker 1 and even for the first goal,

Speaker 1 for the goal he scores, the way that he actually gets the ball on the right-hand side and has a long way to come, a long way to make up for it.

Speaker 1 I think John can probably speak about the willingness that he was showing for Dortmund. Manchester United fans were thinking,

Speaker 1 where was this guy? Yeah,

Speaker 8 I was in Manchester over the weekend

Speaker 8 and chatting to a friend of mine who has been involved in the club.

Speaker 8 And yeah, Sancho would not be welcomed back by many people, it would appear. And that goes across a few spheres.
It just didn't go well.

Speaker 8 There's obviously a personality clash there on several types of issues.

Speaker 8 And you just wonder how different it is at Dortmund. How, you know, is it more liberal? Archie would know more about that.

Speaker 8 Is you know, the timekeeping was the big thing that was publicised in a very lengthy piece, I think, in the athletic.

Speaker 8 But this is a guy that just doesn't seem to fit in English football, despite being English and hugely talented. But obviously, Dortmund seems to bring something of him.

Speaker 8 And, you know, when you see the goal that he scored, goalkeeper, slightly dodgy, you have to say. I mean, you know,

Speaker 8 again,

Speaker 8 I very rarely saw this for anything like this.

Speaker 8 And one of the reasons we very rarely saw that is that no Manchester United manager picked him after a while because they just couldn't get anything from him. And

Speaker 8 there's obviously attitudes or behaviours that didn't fit in up in Manchester. Dortmund is allowed to behave or he behaves better.
We don't know. I mean, you know, you speak to him, Archie.

Speaker 8 He seems a reasonable chap when you're chatting to him.

Speaker 5 Archie's so disarming. That's just the way he is.

Speaker 1 I think that

Speaker 1 Dortmund is a weird place right now where

Speaker 1 their whole style of play relies on individual flourishes. Recognising any discernible style under Edin Terzich

Speaker 1 is difficult.

Speaker 1 They have not been good. throughout this season and and to be honest even last night it looked like a lot of soloists um trying to play play at different rhythms.

Speaker 8 Well, that's what you'd be, though, wouldn't it? Be if you're a talent factory, that's the thing, isn't it?

Speaker 8 I mean, you know, you see that with Chelsea in a slightly different manner, but you've got all these players sort of playing for their futures almost. And that's it.

Speaker 8 Every time I watch Dorby, which is not regularly, it's like, oh, they've got this new talented guy, they've got this new talented guy. I wonder where they're going to end up.

Speaker 8 And, you know, that's Brushador is a huge club, a massive institution, and yet it's treated like that.

Speaker 5 And so a player like Sancho, previously you'd see him as right okay okay he's going to put Manchester United and then you obviously you know Herland and all that and then you you know and then you watch it and you're like who's the next one along and no wonder they're disjointed is what I'm saying I think last week you know in sort of classic TV presenter style I'm trying to appear as knowledgeable and you know people haven't found me out in in this country yet and I turn to you and I say look buying a through and the thing is you wouldn't want to play them and like in real TV terms everyone just agrees with everyone else, or they just go, No, actually, yeah, you really would want to play them.

Speaker 5 It was very funny.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 5 now I feel with Dortmund, if you look at who's through, you probably would quite like to draw Dortmund, but um, but you can tell me I'm wrong again, Archie. I'm not precious about these things.

Speaker 1 I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm glad you, I really enjoyed that moment. It was very funny, it was very funny, but Ike, so so, look,

Speaker 1 I think Dortmund are the team that you want of this

Speaker 1 this last eight, given where they're at.

Speaker 1 I think that actually, whilst one of the best teams for them to play on paper would be Bayern Munich, they're the team that they really don't want given the hoodoo that they have over them

Speaker 1 in recent years, the last decade or so.

Speaker 1 And for this Bayern team to

Speaker 1 embarrass them in Europe would be

Speaker 1 bad.

Speaker 1 But I don't see much coming from this Dortmund team. I thought that you look at the way that PSV opened them up by not having to do all that much.

Speaker 1 Sure, Dortmund clubbed together a bit more than they have in the Bundesliga.

Speaker 1 It's weird because they've only lost one of their last 13 Bundesliga games.

Speaker 1 It looks like good form, but if you talk to Dortmund fans, they will tell you they're not playing particularly well. Ed Interzich's future looks up in the air in the summer.

Speaker 1 Getting to the Champions League again next season is the stated priority of the club, but they just lack direction. And

Speaker 1 when it comes to

Speaker 1 players at the club, John mentions these

Speaker 1 talent factory, and

Speaker 1 it's gone too far in that direction. And there is just this,

Speaker 1 not, I would say, acceptance, but just comfort in finishing second and

Speaker 1 and and making the champions league is okay and the dynamics are just a bit off wilson you happy with this eight um i didn't realize i got to choose uh

Speaker 5 yeah it's i mean i think that's the new format next season is just you choose the quarter market

Speaker 6 i think it was a a pretty drab last 16

Speaker 6 I think the last last couple of nights have been better. I think the Adletico intergame, as we said, was pretty good.
I think Arsenal Porter was pretty good.

Speaker 6 I mean, the second day last week, or Wednesday last week, I mean, thankfully, Real Madrid were dreadful, which made at least that game vaguely interesting. But

Speaker 1 it's,

Speaker 6 I don't know, I think the Champions League has suffered this season partly because of ongoing economic issues, but I think it's been slightly unfortunate that three of the more interesting clubs, Liverpool, Leverkusen, and Girona, are not in it.

Speaker 6 And the fact that some of the teams who are in it have suffered pretty catastrophic collapses in form. Napoli, Barcelona, Manchester United, I mean, Newcastle to an extent as well.

Speaker 6 So

Speaker 6 I don't think we're wrong to have judged the last 16 harshly, but I think there are external factors as well that will not necessarily be continued next season.

Speaker 6 One of the problems is it's not diverse enough, is it? There's three Spanish teams, and the usual three Spanish teams, again,

Speaker 6 yeah, two English teams, two German teams. We're very familiar with this PSG again, and you assume PSG will go out as soon as they face anybody who's actually remotely good.

Speaker 1 You say, though, anyone who's good,

Speaker 1 that's the thing. It looks like Manchester City.

Speaker 10 No, they might be.

Speaker 6 I was saying you assume that, but maybe they are different.

Speaker 8 Maybe you're right.

Speaker 8 I don't think that this season. I think they're a bit better.
They seem to have

Speaker 8 a bit more.

Speaker 6 I think that's fair. Yeah, I think there's a huge goal.
I mean, you know, Arsenal are above them in the Premier League, but it's quite hard to trust them.

Speaker 8 I think with Arsenal, the tie I want to see is them against Athletico.

Speaker 8 I just are.

Speaker 5 But if they managed to do it away, Arsenal, Athletico would be stunning.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it would be.

Speaker 8 I mean, when you see the way that Porto rattled them,

Speaker 8 and you're talking shitowsary,

Speaker 8 you've got Porto.

Speaker 5 Yeah, could Athletic get Pepe in on emergency loan? Oh, it would kick off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it just

Speaker 8 Arteta Simeoni would be right up in the grill, wouldn't it? It'd be amazing. Oh, come on.

Speaker 8 Come on. come on you've got you've got to warm those balls we need this we need this

Speaker 6 the champions league needs some beef man i know coefficient chat maybe after referee chat is the least interesting thing in the world however you know what archie said about dortman desperate to get in the champions league one of the ways to help themselves do that is to progress in this season's champions league and bump up the coefficients I suspect for them, it's a slightly academic issue.

Speaker 6 But for Villa, I think this could be really interesting,

Speaker 6 assuming they get through against Ajax tonight. But they might get to a point towards the the end of the season where they think, actually, Tottenham are ahead of us in fourth, we can't get there.

Speaker 6 Let's prioritise winning the Conference League.

Speaker 6 And not only would that guarantee the Europa League, but by getting coefficients, yeah, extra coefficient points, it might mean that England can go ahead of Germany or Italy to the top five qualify for next season's Champions League.

Speaker 8 Doesn't the coefficient rely on West Ham Freiburg? Isn't this becomes?

Speaker 5 No, that's tonight.

Speaker 6 Well, yeah, I mean, because Germany don't have a team in the conference league because Frankfurt went out to Onion Side of the World.

Speaker 10 Do you think on the rest is history they're going?

Speaker 1 Well, the thing about the coefficients is I had a look at the weekly, and

Speaker 1 they said if Freiburg beat West Ham,

Speaker 5 yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 Sorry, on that, I think I said Kinard, I meant White Star, sorry.

Speaker 5 Fine, no, I've no idea.

Speaker 8 Sorry,

Speaker 8 I think David Moyes is

Speaker 8 being criticised from certain quarters for not holding up the English end.

Speaker 8 If they lose to Freiburg,

Speaker 8 this would be catastrophic.

Speaker 1 For Tottenham.

Speaker 5 So West Ham fans at least will have that to savour.

Speaker 8 David Moyes being Scottish, of course, I'm sure, doesn't care too much about the English coefficient. Apart from it, it affects West Ham, but you know.

Speaker 5 Just on Pepe, there was a brilliant.

Speaker 5 Daniel found this. It's from

Speaker 5 R. Gunner's sub-reddit, which I must confess I haven't got to in my own free time.

Speaker 5 But it is Trossard scoring the goal and Pepe just behind him in a porto shirt and from the game what was it 14 years ago or ever Henri in exactly the same position bending one in in classic Henri style with Pepe in almost exactly the same pose looking exactly the same he's sort of barely aged um but that's it that's slightly generous he has aged considerably but like it's an amazing photo like these two things i presume that is from the game that arsenal won against porto all those years ago uh amazing photo Quickly, Archie, while we're in European stuff, Saar Brucken.

Speaker 5 This is amazing. They knocked Bayer out of the Pokale, didn't they? But

Speaker 5 they've knocked another Bundesliga side out and what, in the semi-finals?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and

Speaker 1 this was in the quarterfinals. And in the round of 16, they knocked out another Bundesliga side.
So it started with...

Speaker 1 It started in the first round where they beat Karlsruhe of the second division and they won that in injury time. Then they beat Bayern also in injury time.
Eintrech Frankfurt, they won 2-0.

Speaker 1 But this game against Brussimunch in Glabbach,

Speaker 1 where

Speaker 1 they didn't really have an attack in the entire second half, and yet won it in identical fashion to the way they beat Bayern Munich.

Speaker 1 And the winning goal was scored by...

Speaker 1 a Bradford City flop, Kai Brunker, who

Speaker 1 was

Speaker 1 from what I've been reading online,

Speaker 1 I've seen a lot of praise for the way that Kaibrunker applied himself at Bradford. It's just the actual application did not quite fit, and he was written off as not being good enough for League One.

Speaker 1 But he's good enough for

Speaker 1 the Dritterliger and

Speaker 1 for being a giant killer.

Speaker 1 The fact that this game had to be replayed because the first iteration got called off due to the the pitch in Zarbrutten. Now the stadium there was

Speaker 1 has been renovated in the last few years.

Speaker 1 It was meant to cost 16 million euros. It's ended up costing 48

Speaker 1 and yet the cost of drainage or getting proper drainage on it would be 200,000 euros. That's not happened.
So

Speaker 1 they were playing on more of a marsh by the end of the game.

Speaker 1 And the ironic thing, I guess, is that in the league, Zarbrutten are very much mid-table in the third division and are struggling to break down teams. And yet, when bigger opposition come to them,

Speaker 1 this pitch actually benefits them when it comes to, yeah,

Speaker 1 teams trying to play them off the park and they can't. So, yeah, it's incredible.

Speaker 1 They reached the... the semifinals actually four years ago when they were a fourth division team.

Speaker 1 Now they've got Kaisers Lauten in what is a big regional rivalry in the semi-final and Lauten are a second division club.

Speaker 1 So there's the prospect that next season in the Europa League, you will have Zarbruten, Kaisers Lauten,

Speaker 1 Fertuna Dusseldorf, but then the other semifinalist is Chavi Alonso's Baya Levakus.

Speaker 1 So there is a prospect somewhere on the horizon that the final game of this season that Levakusen, who are still still unbeaten, could face, would be Zar Brutton.

Speaker 1 Now, imagine if Zar Bruken were the team to break Jabby Alonso's unbeaten run.

Speaker 1 I can't see it, but

Speaker 1 it's amazing the way that they've done this.

Speaker 1 And particularly if you're a smaller team, you have to qualify generally to get into the first round of the DFB Cup by winning your regional cup the year before.

Speaker 1 Zar Bruton had the fourth spot in the third division last year, but, you know, I know the pain of seeing this from the team that I follow here, Fortuna Cohen,

Speaker 1 and the fact that they are never in the first round of the cup because they never win the regional cup. So you have to hope that A, it's not that competitive for

Speaker 1 your team to get into it. It's not, I'm not saying getting into the FA Cup first round is always easy, but if you are a...
if you're a third and

Speaker 1 fourth tier side in England, it actually is.

Speaker 5 So well done, Zal zalbrooken yeah well done zarbrucken that'll do for part two part three we'll begin with bournemouth's amazing comeback against luton

Speaker 11 get thanksgiving ready at whole foods market with so many ways to save their 365 brand has great prices and the high quality you expect no antibiotics ever turkeys start at 149 a pound with prime round out your spread with mashed potatoes and condensed soups plus fresh organic produce like green beans white mushrooms, and carrots for casseroles and sides.

Speaker 11 Shop low prices and quality at Whole Foods Market, in store or online.

Speaker 12 Terms apply.

Speaker 13 It's time your hard-earned money works harder for you. With the Wealthfront Cash Account, your uninvested cash earns a 3.5% APY, which is higher than the average savings rate.

Speaker 13 No account fees, no minimums, and free instant withdrawals to eligible accounts anytime. Join over a million people who trust Wealthfront to build wealth at wealthfront.com.

Speaker 12 Cash account offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, member FINRA SIPC, and it's not a bank. APY on deposits as of November 7th, 2025, is representative, subject to change, and requires no minimum.

Speaker 12 Funds are swept to program banks where they earn the variable APY.

Speaker 5 Welcome to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly. So Bournemouth for Luton 3.
Tombo tweeted me at 8.37 p.m.

Speaker 5 going, Do we now have confirmation that Lars and Sid and everyone else was talking nonsense about Irayola Irayola at 9.56? I may have spoken too soon.

Speaker 5 Isaac, we all know that it's possible to score too early. Is there such a thing as going 3-0 up too early?

Speaker 5 It's amazing, John, wasn't it? I mean, you just

Speaker 5 sort of, I couldn't believe it, but at the same time, like Luton looked totally shocked by the end of that second half.

Speaker 8 You worry about Luton, don't you?

Speaker 8 Now essentially relying on lawyers

Speaker 8 and Nottingham Forest lawyers.

Speaker 8 Obviously, they played Nottingham Forest at the weekend.

Speaker 8 Six-pointer, let's call that a 12-pointer. I mean, the thing is, because there's those points involved for, you know, getting, but it might be even more than that, because, you know,

Speaker 8 it's exciting, isn't it? But

Speaker 8 first half, cruising, Rob Edwards, resplendent. Second half, and I tell you what, the goal, Solanke's.

Speaker 5 Oh, reminded me of Hal Robson Carno a bit in the Euros, you know, a sort of

Speaker 5 turn that turns everyone. It's better, it's actually more skillful than that, but yeah.

Speaker 8 It's a Van Basten turn, isn't it? It's the Van Baston turn and just bury yourself through the middle of the defence and score. Beautiful.

Speaker 8 And I tell you what, here's a player, I think I highlighted him a while ago who had taken a long time to show anything. Semenyo.

Speaker 8 He is a very, very talented player, isn't he? On his day? I mean, okay, Luton were dog-tied. That was clear.
He was allowed a lot of space, but given space, he took them apart in in that second half.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 Bournemouth, they hadn't, I mean, they'd been dreadful, hadn't they, since Christmas?

Speaker 8 And, you know,

Speaker 8 Luton turned out to be just the opponent they needed to lift them with that win. When you're looking at the race for the bottom, I suppose it is.

Speaker 8 Look at the form of Luton and Notton Forest. It is desperate.
I think Forrest have only beaten one team this year, and that is West Ham.

Speaker 8 Luton did essentially what they did against Sheffield United a few weeks ago when I was at the game, which is they're in a position where it's in their hands now, and that's at the point where they don't seem to be able to get to the point where they're in control of the situation.

Speaker 8 They're very good at chasing it, but are they good at getting back over the line that they need to be? As I say, I do think it's going to come down to the lawyers.

Speaker 8 And the thing is, both them and Forrest are playing so badly, it's possible that the only points collected or lost, apart from this weekend when they play each other will be in the law courts.

Speaker 5 Yes, and for Luton,

Speaker 5 they can't be so good at FFP that they get given points.

Speaker 1 That's not a thing.

Speaker 8 It might be a new thing.

Speaker 8 Let's put it to the Premier League vote.

Speaker 5 I mean, there's no better thing for a fan, is there, than be 3-0 down at halftime and win. I mean, I just can't think, like, because

Speaker 5 you're sitting out at half-time, there were real booze at the vitality.

Speaker 8 Did anyone go to the pub? That's a question.

Speaker 5 Yeah, almost, was anyone?

Speaker 1 Almost.

Speaker 8 Yeah, there's got to be a couple in the pub.

Speaker 1 I was at the last Bournemouth home win

Speaker 1 because it was against Fulham on policing day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I can tell you that it's a long walk to the pub from the stadium. Yes, it is.
It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you're in that middle of that park, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ike, you, you turn up at this. I don't have a lovely view of the Bournemouth stadium because it wasn't a pleasant experience, but you turn up at this corrugated shed to

Speaker 1 experience the game. Just on Luton,

Speaker 1 it feels like they're playing musical chairs, except they never turn the mute, like they think that the music's always going on.

Speaker 1 Just the lack of control.

Speaker 1 And even within this,

Speaker 1 Ross Barkley's charts at 3-3. Yeah, oh no, you're right.

Speaker 8 You turn into Derek Ray, then.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I spent enough time with him. That's probably why.

Speaker 6 So, I've got a theory about Bournemouth.

Speaker 6 I think Bournemouth have been exactly the same all season. And we talk about changes in their form.

Speaker 6 Actually, if you look at look at their season, they struggled to get results first half of the first half of the season, then got loads of good results in the second half of the first half of the season.

Speaker 6 First half of the second half of the season, they've struggled to get results, and now it's been a bit of a tournament.

Speaker 6 I think their form is exactly consistent, but the fixedness is such that they have all their hard games first and then all their easy games.

Speaker 6 And I think they're actually one of the most consistent teams in the league and i i think they're going to end up coming to be mid-table as a result yeah i think so and also on picking up archie's point if he did have i know we often you know it's often asked question who would win a fight between premier league managers who would win a game of musical chairs between freme league managers it's funny because it's it's because normally like whenever the question is which premier league manager would dot dot dot the answer is always sean dice but actually I don't know if Sean Dice would win a game.

Speaker 6 And Sean Dice, a man who stands up all the way through all games.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's true. But he's played a lot.
So I reckon his knees and ankles aren't. I think you want someone who's never played the game,

Speaker 5 I would say, because they will be less, you know, physically

Speaker 5 have deteriorated less.

Speaker 1 Max, this is the most serious you've looked throughout the whole pod.

Speaker 5 I think suddenly we're on something that really genuinely matters, Archie.

Speaker 8 I'm trying to think who we're talking about here. Who's the most...
Who's the least?

Speaker 5 Rob Edwards? What did he? He played a bit.

Speaker 8 Rob Edwards played for Wales. He was a pretty hardy player, wasn't he?

Speaker 1 Played for Walters.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's a good player. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 5 Wasn't that Dave Edwards?

Speaker 1 Emily.

Speaker 1 I'm sure. Hang on.
Have I got the wrong...

Speaker 1 Edwards is a good player. Dave Edwards.

Speaker 5 It's true, but Dave Edwards is the Wolves.

Speaker 5 At no point am I suggesting how good Dave Edwards would be at musical chairs. Hang on, let's see.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 5 what is the footballing career of Rob Edwards?

Speaker 1 He did play for Wolves and Q. There we are.
And Wales.

Speaker 8 And you doubted me.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I do.
Well, I mean,

Speaker 1 I was playing

Speaker 5 which Edwards was better for Wolves and Wales? Was it Dave Edwards or Rob Edwards?

Speaker 8 Dave Edwards was a good player, actually, wasn't he?

Speaker 5 He was a good player.

Speaker 6 Do you think Guadiola would be kind of just cynically just sort of nudging the chairs to get them to advantageous?

Speaker 5 He'd be so frenetic, wouldn't he? He would be incredibly. He would probably win.

Speaker 10 Would Iriola be frenetic?

Speaker 5 Do you think Pep would go to Iraola before, you know, as the music was playing, going, you're so, so good.

Speaker 5 And then, and then just squeeze into his chair when he wasn't looking.

Speaker 5 Anyway, my apologies to Rob Edwards. Tom Lockyer was there.
Obviously, in the reverse fixture in December, it was when he collapsed on the pitch, had a cardiac arrest.

Speaker 5 He was reunited with the paramedics who saved his life. The Bournemouth fans chipped in to help pay for some of the loot and travel.
The Bournemouth programme was a picture of Tom Lockyer.

Speaker 5 Actually, genuine football family stuff that is really it was it's the friendliest game I've ever seen.

Speaker 8 You know, it's a

Speaker 8 friendliest game you've ever seen just erupted into an all-time classic. So, you know,

Speaker 8 Great advert for our league.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 He comes across as such a great bloke and so articulate. And I think he was on with Mark Chapman on Five Live yesterday.
And, yeah, just a genuinely like

Speaker 5 he seems so down to earth and to be dealing with this extraordinary event. And, you know, who knows what the future lies to him as a footballer.

Speaker 5 But he comes across brilliantly. And so, you know, we take the piss out of the football family, but it felt actually quite real, I think, at the vitality yesterday.

Speaker 5 You've mentioned Luton Forest, such a massive game elsewhere in the Premier League this weekend. Burnley, Brentford.
Brentford's still not totally safe. There's a bit of race for fourth place.

Speaker 5 There's Villa go to West Ham and Spurs go to Fulham. You can do a Fulham minute if you want, Archie.

Speaker 1 Ticket prices remain a shambles.

Speaker 1 We are the epitome of a cup team. It's just we happen to play a league season as well.
I think that's the best way of describing Fulham this year that it feels like anything can happen.

Speaker 1 I've listened to Barry try to

Speaker 1 sum up what Fulham are like, and I agree with him for the most part. He's not sure.
I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 I've been really impressed with Calvin Bassey and the way that he's been playing, albeit he cost us the first goal away at Wolves.

Speaker 1 The form of Rodrigo Mooney is coming from nowhere.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I like him a lot.

Speaker 1 Is, yeah, he's just bashing into

Speaker 1 opposing central defenders.

Speaker 1 He seems to have just calibrated himself correctly now.

Speaker 1 And at the time when Armando Breuer was brought in on loan from Chelsea, and I think Fulham have to pay 4 million if he doesn't start the next game.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 really. It's true, yeah.

Speaker 5 How early can you take someone off? Like a minute into a game?

Speaker 1 I hadn't thought of it like this.

Speaker 1 If anyone at Fulham's got any nouse, they'll be writing this down, start him and then bring him off.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 6 what were the terms of the deal that's led to that?

Speaker 8 He has to play a certain amount or Fulham have to pay a penalty fee.

Speaker 6 Oh, okay, so they'd have to... But he has to play every game

Speaker 1 to hit that.

Speaker 8 No, he just hasn't played that much and we're already hitting the penalty amount.

Speaker 1 He's not started. He's not starting a gamer yet.

Speaker 8 Because

Speaker 8 the problem is that he.

Speaker 8 I mean, listen, he's a professional footballer. He's made it before.

Speaker 8 He's not actually that good. That's his problem, isn't it?

Speaker 5 Muniz is.

Speaker 5 I've always thought

Speaker 5 there's something there with Armando Broger. I've seen when I think, oh, maybe he could lead Chelsea's line, but you're right.

Speaker 5 Muniz seems to just have it. Like, he has whatever that is.

Speaker 1 You would have said the same about... Muniz six months ago.

Speaker 8 No, no, of course not.

Speaker 1 He wasn't good enough for Middlesbrough in the championship

Speaker 1 Three months ago, and it was like, well,

Speaker 1 is he up to it? And now it's like, well, of course, it's mad.

Speaker 8 The thing with Project is one of those players that he is a Chelsea product.

Speaker 8 Obviously, he's one of their pure profit things. You know, we have to think about that these days.

Speaker 8 But he does look like a Todd Bowley signing that they got from Cadiz and decided that, you know, he could make something of this. And it's just not happened for him.
And do you know what?

Speaker 8 And this is no disgrace these days. I reckon he drops into the championship.
He'd he'll probably rack in 30 goals. And that is a good standard.
I'm not doing him down.

Speaker 8 It's just that the Premier League is a high, high standard now. Hourly.

Speaker 6 He has been one of the Fulham references and silent witness this season. I don't know if you've noticed that.
That one of the scriptwriters is a Fulham fan.

Speaker 6 So there's an Albanian character called Brozia. And there's also,

Speaker 6 I can't remember what he was, he was an expert in something they brought in called Harrison Kearney.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 A mixture of the double pivot. Interesting.

Speaker 1 Just to say, Max,

Speaker 1 I think that Tottenham will probably win.

Speaker 1 That's previewing the game there.

Speaker 5 I enjoyed it. FA quarterfinals.
Wolves, Coventry, Man City, Newcastle, Chelsea, Leicester, and Manchester United, Liverpool, which is the big one. Do you give United any hope, John?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Okay, good one.

Speaker 5 We will obviously discuss it probably in slightly more detail on Monday.

Speaker 6 Well, yeah, United are the only team to stop Liverpool scoring this season. And people sort of seem to go, oh, yeah, United have shown they can stop.

Speaker 1 Liverpool had 34 shots, wasn't that okay?

Speaker 8 But United score concede over 20 shots in every game, don't they? Like, it's you know, you know, you know, they used to have that stat. I mean, we're back to Sean Dice.
We're always back to Sean Dice.

Speaker 8 You know, a Burnley and Everton team block shots like no other.

Speaker 8 You know how Chelsea have now transferred in Brentford's set piece coach.

Speaker 8 Can Manchester United, now we do this, buy the Sean Dice blockage coach.

Speaker 1 Is it Woan?

Speaker 8 Is it Steve Stone? You know, the teachers a place like when the ball's there, chuck yourself, every

Speaker 8 part of your body in front of it.

Speaker 8 The Schmeichael starfish, whatever you want to do, you know, just

Speaker 8 get yourself in front of the ball.

Speaker 6 The Sean Dyce blockage coach sounds like something you'd take before going on a holiday to the tropics.

Speaker 8 That's when he's having a charnadal.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 5 It sounds like a really bad self-help podcast.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure what's the better band name there.

Speaker 1 The Sean Dysche Blockish Coach or the Schmeichel Starfish. That was brilliant.

Speaker 5 On Sean Dysch and Musical Chairs, he did come on Soccer M during the glory years.

Speaker 5 We didn't play Musical Chairs, but did play Countdown with Sean Dysch and Serge from Kasabian, which is not something that done every day. Not as fun as playing Canadian.
He loves Kasabian.

Speaker 8 Yeah, he does.

Speaker 5 I loves Kasabian. Very quickly, Wilson, you tweeted

Speaker 5 at the weekend earlier, officiating drama at the Emirates, where Andy Townsend is denied dinner for not having a food voucher.

Speaker 5 His pleas that his producer, who has the vouchers, is out doing an interview on the pitch, fall on deaf ears. Rules of rules and consistency has trumped common sense.
Did Andy Townsend get fed?

Speaker 6 I don't know, but what I do know is that after I got my own dinner, I went and the press officers,

Speaker 6 he was a journalist for years, so we all know him quite well. And I saw him and said, Yeah, you might want to go and saw Andy Townsend now that he's starving on the carpet over there.

Speaker 6 And so he did wander over. So hopefully it was all resolved.
What I will say is, Andy Tanzan could not have been more polite.

Speaker 5 Oh, he's a great guy. He's a really lovely guy.

Speaker 6 You can see the whole way through, like, he was avoiding saying the words.

Speaker 6 I am Andy Tanzan. I have won 60-odd caps for Ireland or whatever it is.

Speaker 6 He was explaining the situation very calmly. And the poor lass was sort of like, oh, I'm just not allowed.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 So everybody came out of it well.

Speaker 5 Oh, well, that's great to hear. And he got fed.

Speaker 1 But Andy Tanzan also came out of it hungry.

Speaker 6 I assume he got fed eventually.

Speaker 1 He's probably okay.

Speaker 5 All right, that'll do it for today. Thanks for your company.
Thanks, John. Cheers, Max.
Thank you, Archie.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thanks, Wilson.

Speaker 5 Cheers. Thank you.

Speaker 5 Before we go, can I recommend the Guardian's new podcast, Black Box, Thursday's episode out now, looks at how AI is going to transform our lives in ways that will be extraordinarily positive.

Speaker 5 For example, imagine if there was a machine that could see cancer years before a human can. And it just so happens that Lee, a man at the center of this episode, is a huge Football Weekly fan.

Speaker 5 So hello to Lee, who is listening now.

Speaker 5 Thanks for listening to our pod. currently.
It has no AI, but you know, it is only a matter of time before AI Barry exists.

Speaker 5 Black box available wherever you get your podcast for weekly is produced by Joel Grove. Our executive producer is Max Sarnerson.
We'll be back on Monday.

Speaker 1 This is The Guardian.