Will a new striker solve problems for faltering Arsenal? – Football Weekly podcast

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Hello and welcome to the Guardian Football Weekly.

Happy New Year, everyone.

We might still need five televisions for the last day of the season.

Just three points separate leaders Liverpool and fifth place Spurs, even though everyone is convinced that Manchester City will still walk it.

Arsenal miss out on the chance to go top after a second defeat in a row at randomly impressive Fulham this time.

Villa are up to second after a dicey win over Burnley.

City East past Shelfield United while Spurs win over Bournemouth.

Looks comfortable on paper, but it really wasn't.

Some bigger stories elsewhere.

Two wins on the bounce for the dying Jediers.

Morgan Gibbs White strokes in a purler, and Manchester United lose again.

There's a great, not quite enough, comeback from Luton at home to Cole Palmer's Chelsea.

Wolves batter Everton, and Palace beat Brentford in the Who Should We Be Worrying About Derby.

There's our Browth sub-keeper scoring an absolute worldie.

Big news from Nauru.

Bigger news from the best player in the world, Salomon Rondon, and a knighthood or thereabouts for one of your favourite panelists.

All that, plus your questions.

And that's today's Guardian Football Weekly.

On the panel today.

Barry Glendenning, welcome.

Hello.

Happy New Year, everybody.

Happy New Year to you.

Paul Watson, hello.

Happy New Year, Matt.

And Jonathan Wilson, hello.

Happy year.

Mike says the last time the top five were closer at New Year's Day was in 81-82 when Man City had 34 points.

Southampton and Swansea 33.

Man United and Ipswich 32.

I guess it was two points for a win now.

Do we have a title race?

A real one?

Please ignore that in 1981-82, Liverpool came from 10 back and won the title with a game game to spare uh jonathan wilson do we have a title race how many televisions will i need one but probably actually none because city will have won it by mid mid-april those city's fixed now could not be kinder they they don't play another team in the top eight until they play uh manchester united on the first weekend of march so you've got two months where without having to play particularly well they they should win most you know they should win every game for the next two months and given the fallibility of the other teams at the top, that will give them a lead.

They have been the great beneficiaries of Christmas in terms of the title race.

Yeah, Arsenal have fallen away.

I think Liverpool look fallible.

I mean, they're all still there, but this was a great opportunity with City being away to put a bit of pressure on City, and teams just haven't done that.

And they lose no players to AFCON or the Asia Cup.

I think Avan Kevin De Bruyne is fit and his hair is luxuriant.

So we'll get to City much later on.

Let's start at Craven Cottage.

Fulham beating Arsenal 2-1.

Mark says, who knew North London has two Spursy teams?

City Gunu, who I think there are some Arsenal fans who believe we have an agenda against them, says, are you happy now, you pricks?

Paul, what did you make of it?

It was weirdly inevitable, wasn't it?

I thought.

You could just see.

from a pretty early stage.

Well, actually, no, you couldn't.

You could see from the point at which it became one-all that Fulham were going to nick it.

And yeah,

there's something very slow-motion car crash about Arsenal at the moment.

And I don't take any pleasure out of that, despite that accusation.

I'm actually quite disappointed because I'd love there to be a title race.

I've been massively enjoying there being a title race.

And for Aston Villa to be in it has been surreally brilliant.

But yeah, I think

as a neutral, we could have done with Arsenal not being very Arsenal-ish and just capitulating at this point of the season.

And sadly, that seems to be what's happening.

Mikel Ateta said, it's a a painful and sad day.

What happened today, it cannot happen again.

If we do that again, we're never going to have the chance to do what we want to do.

Today could have been a beautiful day to end the year top of the league.

We have to look at ourselves in the mirror because today's performance is the worst we've had this season, that is for sure.

Yeah, nought points from West Ham at home and Fulham away is with pretty much your strongest 11 as well, Barry.

They're one of the few teams when you can't say, well, they are decimated by injury, is not title-winning form.

Yeah, I thought they would swat Fulham aside.

I have to say, I thought they'd bounce back from it wasn't a terrible performance against West Ham, but you know, they were very profligate and

had 30 chances, shots, whatever, and didn't score.

And then they go 1-0 up inside a few minutes at Craven Cottage, and you think, oh, yeah, Gran, they're going to score four or five and have this one by 60 minutes.

And that proved very not to be much not to be the case.

And I was surprised by how bad they were.

And they looked like a team that had run out of ideas and just slinging cross after cross after cross after cross into the Fulham penalty area.

And very few of those crosses were meeting players in Arsenal shirts.

And

I think they got exactly what they deserved from the game, which was nothing.

And

I was surprised.

Yeah, Barney Runny writing on that subject about the number of crosses says, look, across the Premier League season, only Luton and Everton have attempted more crosses than Arsenal, but Luton and Everton have a game geared for that kind of attacking energy.

And since they beat Luton 4-3,

they've won league winning five, scored four.

And Barney says the same game rolled out each time, and since the opponents have worked Arsenal out, have learnt how to keep them at bay a little too easily.

Is that fair, Wilson?

You know, it is give it to Saka.

He's doubled up, but he might do something brilliant.

Someone might be free elsewhere.

Yeah, and I think Newcastle showed the blueprint, and there may have been teams before, but that was where I sort of first really saw it.

Was they, yeah, they doubled up on Sackman Martinelli, and Arsenal don't, despite having Odigard there, and I think Odegaard's form

is actually been one of the few bright spots for Arsenal over the last few weeks.

I think, yeah, I think he is coming in the form, but despite having him in the middle, despite having Havertz, who remains very much in and out, they just don't have creativity through the middle.

And they also don't have one of those players who will just score a goal from nowhere.

It has to be through the process.

And if you know what the process is, you can put steps in place to stop that.

I don't know.

I just, I feel that this might be slightly unfair, but I sort of feel there's been a

fragility about Arsenal since 2005.

Since they won that cup final, they probably shouldn't have won in 2005.

They're not a team who respond well to adversity.

So when they start getting frustrated, when things start to go wrong against Fulham, Fulham get a corner.

And the last three touches before Bobby DeCordovid scores are all of Arsenal players.

And then they're all appealing for offside.

It's sort of a,

it just feels like there's a lack of the edge you need to win titles.

And I think we saw that towards the end of last season.

There's all that debate.

Oh, yeah, they bottled it.

I mean, I think to an extent last season, the limitations of the squad were exposed.

But there was also, two things can be true at once.

I think...

Yeah, you look at the games at Liverpool and West Ham last season,

and they were

actually quite similar to the last couple of games they start games well yeah suddenly just it it it fades away so even the the point they took at Liverpool when was that three games ago four games ago they started that game really well first ten minutes that game you thought oh actually they are really good they started that game well and faded they started well against West Ham and faded they started well against Fulham got ahead again and and faded uh and that seems to be an ongoing thing that they as soon as teams come back at them they they they panic a bit and the window has slammed open paul or gently opened or whatever whatever verb you want to

is that the verb no that's not the verb is it to window

yeah to window uh

yeah to slam yeah to slam is is a that is a verb anyway um

um

the the clamour will increase for for an out and out number nine probably called ivan um do you think they should go and do it and i don't i mean i i mean that is that is is, I don't expect you to know what is going on with each team's FFP.

Yeah, I mean, that's the unspoken.

So, I saw a brilliant feature where they asked fans of each club what they were hoping for from the window.

More or less, every club said,

yeah, there's these players we're lined up with, would love us to get them.

Pretty sure we can't get them for FFP.

And that was basically the entire thing because nobody understands or can kind of work that out.

So, yeah, I mean, is Ivantoni the answer?

They definitely, could not have looked more short of striking options at Arsenal, really, could they, against Fulham?

It was, but I felt quite sorry for Nketiah.

He just, he just did not look like he would score

in several weeks, to be honest.

Even if the rest of the players left the field, I wouldn't have packed him.

So,

something has to be done.

Yeah, Tony would fit the profile.

Can they sign him?

I have no idea.

You'd have to talk to someone who understands FFP.

And if you can find that person, you're doing very well indeed.

Kieran Maguire is...

I mean, Kieran Maguire at the Prize of Football Podcast is.

He's very much in demand on, I think it was Christmas Eve.

What happened on Christmas Eve?

Oh, they guessed the Ratcliffe takeover was confirmed and Kieran Maguire's Christmas was duly ruined.

He's a very obliging man.

He was on every news outlet on the planet, I think.

As far as I know,

it wouldn't be an FFP problem.

It might be a don't necessarily have the funds problem.

I think Ivan Tony would certainly be in addition to the squad, assuming he doesn't come back from his band like 25 stone weight and has forgotten how to play football.

I presume he's in pretty good nick.

I did notice Ars blog,

Andrew Mangan,

he reckons Arsenal could probably do with another winger rather than

a target man slash number nine and he made a quite compelling case.

I wouldn't necessarily agree with him, but

yeah, that was his theory.

And he's forgotten more about Arsenal than I will ever know.

I like the idea that

Brentford sells Ivan Tony for 80 million, but they say, no, you can't see him until we've got the money.

Yeah.

And then he's absolutely enormous.

He's in that tight fit Arsenal shirt.

And it's like his little belly, enormous belly, rather, is just poking out the bottom.

And he's there.

And you're like, oh, I don't know.

Anyway, Mike says, what's going on at Fulham?

Can't score for shit for the first 10 games.

Two 5-0 wins in a row.

Lose to Burney and Bournemouth, and then beat Arsenal 2-1, who are title contenders.

How's that happened?

Wilson, how has that happened?

I think it's probably two players coming into form.

I mean, Valdemeneth looks to be not necessarily back to his absolute peak as he was at Wolves, but definitely he seems to be regaining confidence, and that's good to see.

And I think Tom Kearney's been playing really well recently, getting the side regularly, and he gives them a creativity that maybe they lack without him.

So, yeah, I think it's for two of them hitting form.

Kearney being good in being good in the form, they can play him regularly.

But for two of them, I'd say, there may be more complex reasons.

That link up down the left, wherever I see it, I'm always impressed by between William and Robinson.

I think that always looks really good.

And William maybe was a little bit flat at the beginning of the season and starting to look back towards his best again.

But I think it's really Kearney and to a lesser extent, Him and Earth.

Yeah, and Paolini, they obviously would be desperate to keep him after being very, I would say, fortunate to keep him

in the summer.

I mean, well, he's their player, but he was in a Biomunich kit, was he?

He was definitely there.

I don't know how far down the...

I don't know if they'd done the sort of Twitter unveil.

I don't know if this is the piece that Paul was referring to, but the Observer do, they're sort of fans.

you know, they have a fan representative from each club and asking them what they want.

And the full representative there was sort of, it's almost like the media have a vested interest in selling him.

No, it's just, we remember he was literally in Munich.

It wasn't like journalists kidnapped him, drove him to the airport, hijacked a plane, took him to Munich, dressed him in a Munich kit.

And then, oh, we still couldn't get a deal over the line.

That was him.

He did that.

Yeah.

I mean, there isn't really the money in journalism now to do a stunt like that, is there?

Hijack a plane.

It's worth mentioning about him and as his, I mean, like, he took his goal really well, but he also did a sort of Rabona tackle, which is a really nice thing to see.

It's a real Eric Lamella vibes to that.

I think he was thinking he would shoot, and then there was suddenly an Arsenal player then.

He was like, oh, well, I'll just carry on with this.

To the city ground, Forest 2, Man United 1.

We get a few comments, Barry, saying we focus too much on Man United and, like, sort of treating every loss like some sort of seismic crisis.

And now it's just like a kind of...

Well, that's not a surprise.

I mean, if anything, the bigger story is here, is Nuno coming in, being unlucky in his opening game, and then winning at Newcastle and beating Man United now.

Yeah, look, obviously you're going to focus on Manchester United and their defeats because they're one of the biggest clubs in the world.

We're men of a certain age who

they've always been pretty good

in my lifetime.

And while Alex Ferguson was there, they were brilliant and them losing was always a surprise.

Them losing these days is no longer a surprise.

I kind of expected them to lose this game and they duly did.

I think people got a little bit overexcited about their comeback against Aston Villa at Old Trafford in the previous game.

It was certainly quite a stirring effort by a team we're not used to seeing stirring efforts from

anymore.

But

yeah,

they reverted to Type here and lost against the Nottingham Forest team

whose star player Anthony Alanga used to be at Manchester United and he looks a far better winger than

any of the wingers Manchester United currently have

particularly a certain Brazilian one who is proving to be an absolute waste of space time money um

and

you know obviously clubs sometimes get rid of players when they're young and comes back to bite them but yeah

we will probably get grief for focusing on Manchester United's shortcomings when we should be

maybe focusing more on the qualities of the

teams that beat them.

But the fact of the matter is they don't take much beating these days, do they?

You don't have to be particularly good to beat Manchester United because they're very easy to play against.

And actually,

I almost feel, Paul, that Man United are in a

falsely positive position.

They're actually too high up the table.

When you think about the games they've won, they've been, I can't think of many games where they've comfortably won this season.

Like every win has been, they've come from behind or, you know, they've, they've done something.

Scott McTominay has done something ridiculous in the last minute.

Like they, they could be in like a much worse position.

It could be in a relegation battle.

No, I don't think that's quite fair because I also think the same thing is exactly what we're bemoaning them for.

So I think what really strikes me at the moment is the lack of,

I know it's very simplistic, but the lack of fight.

It feels so often like when you're when you grew up you know i grew up watching sir alex ferguson's side you you would basically see them 3-0 down at 85th minute and you'd think yeah they'll get a draw out of this and they probably would but that was that kind of attitude the team had at the moment it just feels like something mentally there is is is telling them there's no chance when they go behind so i think it'd be a bit unfair to bemoan them for the hard-fought results like the villa result i think that was exactly the kind of result that showed what's lacking and i actually did take, from their perspective, quite a lot of encouragement from that.

So I was quite shocked by the Forest

defeat.

But yeah, it just, honestly, it just feels like a shadow of a club.

And it feels like it's problem after problem.

And

I'm not sure Ten Haag has got what it takes to stick this one out, to be honest.

I'm not seeing a lot of progress personally from him.

But I'm...

Again, I'm not an expert on Man United, but I don't think I'm seeing an awful lot that's changed over the last, I don't know how long he's been in there, but quite a while, really.

Camera angles make great goals, and the angle for Morgan Gibbs-White was absolutely perfect to just see that bend round.

It's such a lovely finish.

Have you, Wilson, been impressed with what Nuno has done?

What has he done that Steve Cooper wasn't doing?

It's difficult to say because I think,

you know, I mean, I've watched the two games live, the last two games live, were two wins.

And

I haven't seen a huge amount of forest live this season.

And they were quite different games.

I mean, the first game, that game in St.

James's,

it was all about, I guess,

in both games,

to an extent, they were sitting deep using the pace of a Lango and Hudson Adoy.

But the game against Newcastle, they farmed, Chris Wood was absolutely central to that, whereas this is more by Gibbs White.

And I think whether it's Nuno doing this or whether it's just United's failing, but

United often have a gap just as well over two centre-backs.

So

if you look at how Guadiola team is set up or how Tuchel team is set up, they often have this sort of trapezium shape out of possession where they have three defenders.

So there's often two centre-backs with a centre midfielder dropping in, and then two other players dropping in front of that three to create this sort of 3-2 shape, which it appears over 100 years of football history, if you look back at what the WM was, that seems to be a very solid shape to stop the counter.

You look at United, and not only is it not 3-2,

it's not even 3, it's often 2-0.

And

Kobby Mainu was notionally the deepest lying centre in the field in the first half, and he was very rarely in that space.

He's 18.

That's a vital position tactically.

It may not be entirely fair to ask an 18-year-old to do that.

But then to replace him with McTominay rather than to supplement him with McTominay seemed odd.

Do you think if if that's an area where you've got a a shortfall, put an extra player there, don't don't put in there another player.

And McTominay, you see him for Scotland, he's a box to box midfielder who's who scores goals from from deep.

To use him as your deepest line midfielder, at the very least, it suggests a failure of recruitment.

I think Christian Erickson just doesn't have the engine anymore.

So if you're playing him as sort of the

the the sort of the second most offensive of the three with um Brina Fernandes,

he just doesn't get back.

So both those forest goals came from people finding space in that little pocket, sort of 25 yards from goal

in the middle.

Now, whether Nuno's deliberately exploited that, or whether that's just a thing that happened in the game, I think we'd need more time to see.

But

that's why they won that game.

I think Ten Hag gets to international breaks and, like us, is like, oh, I can't watch, I've just watched a terrible England game.

I can't watch Scotland.

So, he has no idea that Scott McDominé

is a box-to-box midfielder.

Here's look of exasperation after the Gibbs White goal, I don't think he likes his team.

I don't know if there ever was a point where he liked his team, but

that was like a teacher who's really sick of his class.

And it's like,

when have this not got their GCCs?

When are they fucking up?

Because I could really deal with that happening soon.

We're talking about Matt Turner, Barry.

I mean, after his mistake, which let him

gunachu and then Rashford scored the equaliser, he actually played quite well.

But before that, he was doing everything in his power to stop Nottingham Forest winning the game.

And it is, as producer Joel says, does he need to watch that Brian Gunns compilation of goalies just absolutely hoofing it?

Neil says, should John Bruin stand behind him and just bellow, get it launched, every time he's tempted to play it with his feet?

It's funny, isn't it?

I mean,

I'm not angry when goalkeepers play out.

I understand why they do, but it is interesting how often...

Players who don't look that good at it keep doing it and just keep passing it to a member of the opposition quite close to the goal.

Yeah, I mean I presume they're following orders and that's what they've been told to do.

And I'd imagine there are times, and it certainly looked like there were times in that game when Matt Turner would ideally like to have hoofed at the length of the pitch, but you know, he's not allowed.

And it's very much a risk-reward thing, but he seems quite a good goalkeeper in terms of saving goals, but he isn't particularly good with his feet.

And, you know, I refer to us, you know, as being gentlemen of a certain age.

There's probably a load of listeners to this pod who don't remember football when you were allowed to pass back to the keeper and he could pick it up, you know.

And when that law was got rid of, a lot of goalkeepers got seriously found out because they just could not

play with their feet.

They couldn't, you know, even hoof the ball clear properly.

I think, do I remember?

I think there was a couple, a few goalkeepers, and I'm not going to name them because I'm not sure if I'm exactly right.

One was a Sheffield United keeper, more or less ended their careers,

the backpass law being amended.

And

yeah,

I presume it's something you can learn, but it's going to take a while to learn.

And

can you afford to let someone learn on the job?

Because

I quite like Matt Turner as a goalkeeper, but yeah, he's a nightmare when the ball is at his feet.

It is interesting, isn't it?

I mean, that football before the back pass though is so ridiculous.

It's so ridiculous that anybody, like, you know, just go bundle up and the amount of times there's one, is it Graham Sunes absolutely hammering the ball back to

probably Clements, I don't know.

Just no, it's when he's playing for Rangers, isn't it?

Is it for Rangers?

The famous one when he's in the opposition half and he turns around and rucks it back, yeah.

Yeah, the keeper just picks it up, goes, there you go.

Interestingly, presumably it's Chris Chris Woods, I'm guessing.

Could be Chris Woods, yeah.

Interestingly, Matt Turner did one hoof clearance that spun up in the air from a back pass and then he caught it.

So I presumed that was a back pass, but Archie has been in touch, who was listening to us on the radio and me talking about this saying, you know, Artemax openly got the back pass wrong on the radio this morning.

The clearance by a goalkeeper resets.

Therefore, picking up the ball is allowed.

So if you get a back pass and you smash it into the sky, but with enough backspin to catch it again, then that's okay.

Is it time for Lars to host a Laws quiz to determine who is allowed to comment on refereeing decisions on the pod?

I hold my hands up.

Anyway, that'll do for part one.

Part two will begin at Kennelworth Road.

Coach, the energy out there felt different.

What changed for the team today?

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That's all for now.

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Welcome to part two of the Guardian Football Weekly.

Luton 2, Chelsea 3.

I know Chelsea won this game, Paul, and at times looked like that young side that was starting to gel that, you know, in 2035 would be brilliant.

But the story of this game is that late charge from Luton, wasn't it?

It was absolutely brilliant.

Yeah, it was fantastic, wasn't it?

And

I think, again, with Chelsea,

the amazing thing is how uncertain they can look.

And from that position where the game was dead and buried,

just somehow they look quite fragile.

They just look like they could throw it away.

Yeah, and I've got to say, Luton, you know, the amount of credit that

Luton deserved for for bringing it back to make it that uncomfortable.

And the fact that Ross Barkley scored one of the goals as well was just a nice little, nice little sort of stab in the side as well.

But I think Rob Edwards is doing a brilliant job.

And I think he's a very impressive character.

I think on and off the field, I've been really impressed with him.

Actually, I live near Forest Green, so he's...

He's remembered very fondly for his getting them up.

That was kind of the first job that made him, taking them up.

And then he left them in quite acrimonious circumstances and was was really derided here a lot of people here were saying that he was trying to do too much too soon there was a vision of oh he's you know he's got he's got too big for his boots and he thinks he can already go all the way up to at the time watford uh and obviously that's a three-week placement and then after that he um he went to luton so yeah amazing to see how well he's doing because he looked impressive here but you can never tell how someone's gonna gonna fare at the top level.

Yeah, I mean, it was amazing, Barry, wasn't it?

You know, you sort of Adabayo offside or the offside in the build-up to that goal.

Then he hit the bar, then Ross Bartley scored.

Then there's this great save from Petrovich from Carton Morris, and the second goal, you just think, oh, they just need one more.

I think the ball flashed across the box a couple of times.

It would have been such a brilliant comeback.

Yeah,

I think Alfie Dowshy should have scored one as well.

A header that he really should have scored.

I don't know if he hit the woodworker, was saved.

But

the game sort of transformed from Luton when they brought on um tahe chong and chidozi ogbene and they they just turned the game uh they were hugely impressive and if i was a looting fan i'd be really pleased with the performance but i would be disappointed they didn't rescue a point and they probably should have got a point and that would have been uh

hugely

bad luck for chelsea i suppose they they kind of got away with that one but you know it was a win but but But Kendra Road is

proving a tough place, as we knew it probably would.

But

a lot of

big-name teams are struggling there.

Cole Palmer, Wilson, the feet for Chelsea's third

are so nice.

I mean, it feels like England have so many players you could, quote, build a team around, even though you don't build teams around anyone these days.

Like, he's just, he is a mercurial talent.

Yeah, I mean, that goal really came against the one to play.

So, yeah, I was sort of watching that thinking, oh, let me get back into this.

And he scores that, and you think, all right, it's over.

But that goal hadn't been coming.

So

if he hadn't had that presence of mind,

the confidence in his feet, the technical ability, then Chelsea wouldn't have won that game.

So, yeah, from an England point of view, I guess at the minute it's probably Saka and Foden in the two wide positions.

But it's an area where England have an extraordinary amount of strength.

That

they have Grealish, Rashford, Sterling, Cole Palmer.

And I don't know whether...

Wilson emotional about this.

I don't know how significant it is that Chelsea have won the last two games without Sterling.

Sterling had that flicker of good form at the start of the season, but

every time.

I think one of Chelsea's problems is they just have too many players like him, like Nicholas Jackson, who seem to panic every time they have to make a decision.

Because Nicholas Jackson, particularly in the palace game, some of his link-up play was really, really good.

That every time you gave him a shooting opportunity, just blind panic.

And Sterling's always, you know, when Sterling's short on confidence, his decision-making is terrible.

Whereas Cole Palmer at the minute is the exact opposite.

He just doesn't seem to feel fear or anxiety at all.

So you think of that penalty against City, you know, six minutes into injury time to make it 3-3.

3-3, 4-4, 5-5.

I don't know.

Lots of goals.

Level.

4-4.

4-4.

4-4.

So,

quite apart from his technical ability,

that's a great asset to have.

That edge.

That was the moment where, for the people who think Wilson is some sort of robot, where he just slightly malfunctioned for a second, and there was a small chance he could have just kept saying numbers, increasing numbers for

the rest of time.

In my defence,

in my defense, it's 9 a.m.

on New Year's Day,

and I have a slight cold, and I didn't get to bed till quite late last night and I drank quite a lot because it was a new year.

Yeah, good for you.

In many ways, I'm the hero here.

Yeah, I believe you are.

The reports of Spurs have approached Chelsea for Conor Gallagher.

Seems that would really annoy Chelsea fans, Baz.

Feels like that would.

And he sort of plays the whole time, so I would be surprised.

Yeah, I would imagine it would annoy Chelsea fans.

It would annoy Maurizio Pacutino, but that's what Chelsea have to do to adhere to financial fair play rules.

They have to sell homegrown players, Academy products, for as much as they can.

And Connor Gallagher falls into that bracket.

And he's a good player.

He's going to be in demand.

I would be surprised if that happens in January.

Actually, would I be surprised?

No, I don't think I would.

I'm not sure anything Chelsea would do would surprise me in the 2020s.

You wouldn't fall off your chair if it happened, happened, would you?

I mean, it wouldn't be that kind of surprise.

How many points have I?

That's not a question I ever ask.

Yeah, no, I wouldn't fall off my chair.

I wouldn't fall off.

Yeah,

my jaw would not hit the floor

whether I'd fallen off my chair or not.

But

you can kind of see why it makes a certain amount of sense.

But

I would imagine Maurizio Pochtino would be very annoyed if he was forced to sell them.

Well if they want to bring in a centre forward and and say they're going for Ivan Tony, Ivan Tony is not going to be cheap because Brentford have got absolutely no incentive to sell

Chelsea probably have to clear some FFP space and the way you do that we've learned is to sell academy products of which Chelsea have two left who are Gallagher and Rhys James.

So

between those two,

I don't know, maybe you think Mal Augusta's playing so well that and Rhys James is always injured to Rhys James' expendable one.

But at any point up to about two months ago, I think you'd have been saying Connor Gallagher's expendable one.

And if it's a choice of Conor Gallagher or Ivan Toney, maybe Pochettino is a bit more inclined to take that deal.

It's a good point.

I did prefer a little when you were just going.

7-7-8-8.

Tom Lockyer released a statement over the weekend saying, I'm doing very well and feeling very much myself after the cardiac arrest I suffered in Bournemouth.

The reason I'm doing so well is all down to the heroic actions of the player staff, doctors and paramedics.

I feel thankful that this happened to me, surrounded by those heroes.

They saved my life.

I'll never forget what you did for me.

He also called for more people to learn CPR, saying you never know when you might need it.

I cannot stress enough how important it is for as many people as possible to know CPR.

It literally saves lives like mine.

Please check out the British Heart Foundation website for basics or get yourself on a course.

A very good message.

To Villa Park, then Villa 3, Burnley 2.

Paul, Villa were, I mean, they deserved it, but they were lucky.

The penalty was a penalty, however wrangling Vincent company was.

But it sort of looked like it bounced out and then bounced back in again it was like

or i thought maybe it hit james trafford but it went in maybe it's the perfect penalty yeah i i thought i thought it hit him too but i i don't think it did did it it was just there was this weird i think it was just the universe saying that that all right villa do have to win this one but um

yeah it was it was very scrappy and i think after

after you know that sense that perhaps this this momentum is going to dissipate now and and so like a really in a way a really big big win for Villa because I think you could easily see

after surrendering that lead to Man United, you could easily see it then, you know, this is where the wheels start to come off.

But, you know,

it's kind of a testament to them that they did win that game where I don't think they really have much right to win it.

But they did.

And they remain, in my opinion, in the title race.

And I'm looking forward to

continuing to say that to cover myself in case they do a Leicester and I can be the one that's smug about it.

Yeah, I mean, they are joint top of the league.

so like, like, surely they are.

Like,

it's not harsh not to be.

I know what you mean.

Like, it still feels like people saying, well, they're not really, but they are

okay.

Liverpool have got a game in hand.

But, like, that is such a

barrier, a staggering achievement for Villa, isn't it, just to be where they are at this stage?

Yeah, and I don't think anyone saw it coming.

It's really a damning indictment on Stephen Gerrard, who,

as far as I can tell, is failing currently in his current job in Saudi Arabia.

and he was predicted to be a future Liverpool manager.

It seems zero chance of that happening now.

But Una Emery has done a remarkable job.

He

sort of takes defeats in his stride after the Man United game when you would expect

thought he'd been really downbeat and possibly angry.

He was interviewed and he was very much looking on the bright side.

You know, we have X number of points,

we're doing fine.

It was a defeat, these things happen, but

got away with this one a little bit, I think.

But

it's a good win.

Douglas Luis's penalty.

I was just checking there because

his name has completely

escaped me.

But I was following, I had Soccer Saturday on, or Gillette Soccer Saturday on Sky on.

And who's the

pundit?

newish

who I always get confused with Michael Brown, but isn't Michael Brown?

Michael Dawson, Michael Dawson.

Yes, thank you.

Michael Dawson was, I think, describing the penalty, and it just seemed to take so long for Douglas Louise to take this penalty.

And you know, Michael Brown, yeah, the rest blowing his whistle.

Yeah, he's standing there.

Yeah,

still standing there.

Little steps, little steps.

Yeah, oh, he's hit the bar.

It's come out.

No, it's gone in.

But yeah, just his description of the penalty seemed to take about 10 minutes.

And

I couldn't wait to see it later on matching the day.

What on earth was he doing that took so long to take this penalty?

So, yeah, made a very heavy weather of it, but it went in and Villa got the three points.

What did you make, Wilson, of Vincent Company afterwards?

You know, he was angry about lots of things.

The penalty, which he thought was too soft.

The referee was desperate to make a decision.

The sending off, he thought was soft.

And there was a handball, which I guess he was right on.

He was probably right.

But

it was in the running strides.

And it was outside the box anyway.

So,

to an extent, so what?

You also, I think you have to, with decisions like that, you have to say, well,

could the referee realistically have expected to give that?

Well,

the body of the defender was in the way, so you can see why why you couldn't see it.

That's not why they didn't win the game.

The red card, you know, when you've got a yellow card, don't pull somebody's shirt.

Pulling a shirt is the most obvious, especially with VAR.

I mean, I guess it doesn't go to VAR, but pulling a shirt, you can see really easily.

It was a bit like

the first Brighton penalty against Tottenham.

Don't pull somebody's shirt because it's so clear.

There's no subjectivity there.

You can see the shirt coming back in the hand.

It's going to to be given.

The penalty was a penalty.

It looked slightly odd because he kicked the bottom of his foot, but

maybe he

was.

It was Duran, wasn't it?

Maybe he made

more of it than there actually was, but he got kicked.

It's a penalty.

It's a foul.

So,

yeah, I think it's just a manager lashing out the ref when it's the fates, his own team have let him down.

I mean, I think Villa actually,

we'll see what happens with the

assuming the last players in the FA Cup.

We've got the winter break coming up, so January, you know,

the pressure of games eases a bit.

And maybe they will be able to reset.

But I think they've looked really tired, probably even since the second half of the Arsenal game.

So you saw that

gaming Chapter United, you saw that this game, the second half against Manchester United.

I think fatigue's a big issue there.

So they need a reset in January.

And if they don't get that, then I think they will start to topple.

To Southhouse Park, Crystal Palace 3, Brentford 1.

um uh gareth or brentford in a relegation fight without necessarily being aware of it odorf says can you once and i mean this for once talk about brentford's injuries don't just say palace were good weren't they barry um

every part of my soul desperate to now say palace were good weren't they look they had a great start brentford in this game baz but alise and eze are just two stunning footballers and we're on the pitch together both playing well like it elevates palace so much well first of all i'm pretty sure we have highlighted Brentford's injury crisis in the past, or their absentee list.

Ivan Tony obviously is an injured, but we have established he's massively overweight and forgotten how to play football.

But, yeah, Rico Henry's out.

Buemo's out.

And I'm pretty sure it's something we have sort of caveated their performance with.

Lots of teams have injury crisis or long lists of absentees.

Newcastle, Spurs, Brighton, Manchester United.

You just got to get on with it.

And I don't think Brentford were,

well, I would say they were pretty bad in this game,

but they could have got something from it.

And maybe 3-1 isn't a fair reflection of the way the game ebbed and flowed.

Yeah,

Elisi and Eze were class acts.

I've never really been sure quite what Jordan Ayu is for, but he seems to be playing pretty well for Crystal Palace this season.

And I think his good performances maybe get overlooked because everyone's so excited about Eze and Elise, who are comparatively shiny and new.

But

yeah, Brentford, I think, are in a relegation battle because it's difficult to see where the next win is coming from.

They're normally a very well-organised, disciplined team

who

make great use of set pieces that doesn't seem to be there at the moment.

Um,

but I presume Thomas Frank has a hell of a lot of credit in the bank with Brentford fans, Brentford's owner,

and they may well turn things around.

But

yeah, they are in trouble.

I was just going to say, would that credit be in the Frank Bank then?

Bernie Jackson.

My apologies.

No, that's okay.

A bit more spiky, Roy Hodgson.

When he was asked about the Steve Cooper rumors, he said, I'm 76 years of age.

I've been working 47 years.

I've got a CBE for my services.

I've got a CV, which is incredible.

So my final answer to you is, it makes no difference.

I'm all here for Roy.

Just, you know, sticking out there saying, I'm good at this.

Well, I mean, the thing about Roy, he clearly just doesn't give a shit.

You fire me if you want.

I don't care.

I'll be grand.

I'm 76.

I'm rich.

And it doesn't.

No,

I think he cares.

I agree with you.

Yeah, I think so.

Otherwise, why would he be doing it?

You know, he doesn't need to do it.

You know,

like, you know,

he's got him and Ray Lewington.

They just, they just, you know, that is a cliche, but they're just, some people just bleed football.

I mean, he is an urbane guy.

We got criticized the other day, didn't we?

You know, he's like...

He has interests outside of the game.

But like, he needs this.

I think he needs football, you know, and all power to him.

I mean, such a, it's such a full-on job.

It's mad to be doing it at 76.

It'd be a bit like being the president of the United States at 80, right?

I mean, like, who no one would ever do that, would they?

Well, I remember when my father retired, and like we were at him to retire for ages because, you know, he was sort of working as a country vet.

His reflexes were getting a bit slow.

He kept getting hurt in farmyard accidents.

And we were saying, look, he's got to retire.

Just take it.

And

he was afraid to retire because he thought he'd be bored.

But once he did finally retire, he absolutely loved it and wished he'd retired about 10 years previously.

So, you know, maybe Roy needs to learn a lesson for Sam.

That's a message for Roy.

Yeah.

Well, that'll do for part two.

Part three will begin at the Tonham Hotspur Stadium.

Welcome to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly.

Spurs three, Bournemouth one.

So they're a point behind Mancity and Arsenal, three points off the top of the league.

So they're in the conversation.

I don't know, Paul, are they in your title race like Villa are or not quite?

Yeah, no, they are.

They are.

I think they're going to struggle, to be honest.

I think losing Sun is going to be a problem for them.

What also will continue to be a problem is this amazing inability to just put the game away in a sensible, calm fashion.

That Bournemouth game was insane.

How they managed to make that as dramatic as it was.

Yeah, I mean, I agree.

I mean, the first half, wilson was so fast i i was i'm still not convinced i wasn't watching it at 1.5 speed it was just all these people running around everywhere and it was mainly bournemouth players running towards the total goal like this this was not a comfortable victory by any strip the the 4-2 defeat to brighton that was a bigger margin of defeat than 4-2 made it look uh and this i think was a smaller margin of victory than 3-1 made it look but bournemouth are really good i

bournemouth are one of my favourite teams to watch i mean you know barry say at the start of the season, Bournemouth, the team he's most looking forward to watching, looked a bit weird for two or three months.

But now, yeah, if you had a Bournemouth season ticket, you'd, you'd, you know, you'd be laughing.

It's uh, they play really good football.

Tottenham played really good football.

So, I mean, the game wasn't on live, so only seen highlights, but it looked an amazing game.

It could have gone either way, and Tottenham for once took their chances.

But yeah, but losing, I mean, Saar's injury, but you know, he'd be off to join up with the centre goal scored anyway, even if he is fit.

Song going to to the Asia Cup.

Those are big losses

to a slender squad that...

Those are big losses to a squad that's already sort of creaking a bit.

So

you wonder how they will come through January, February.

I mean, there aren't many Premier League games in January.

That's the only thing you'd say.

There's only two more, I think, per team.

Is that right?

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because the winter break is split, so there's like five games one weekend and five weeks another.

So we don't get a winter break, but they do.

Um, uh, Giovanni LaSelso played well.

His pass to son with the outside of his left foot was sort of the nicest moment of this game.

Uh, Benson Cook came back for Spurs as well, looked a bit sleepy, but he's a very talented player.

Troy says, as Barry seems to be able to get Bell Peppers to work in an Irish stew.

How would he propose to get Richarlison to work in the Spurs front three?

He did score again, Richarlison, but I

get a sense with him a sort of similarity to Nicholas Jackson in that kind of a bit panicky,

not over-reliable.

I would say that is unfair,

but okay, yeah, I could kind of see where you're coming from.

And maybe Richardson, who is vastly more experienced and older than Nicholas Jackson, should be less of a headless chicken.

I don't think he is as much a headless chicken as Nicholas Jackson.

I think Nicholas Jackson will come good.

With that analogy, were you saying he would develop a head as a chicken?

Yeah, I hadn't planned on on taking the analogy any further no i'd pick up the analogy apart to this extent and now now i'm confused um

and at what age do you think a vet would cease to be able to catch a headless chicken uh oh six 61.

that's that's how they should test vets to retire isn't it they should say here's a off you go you can get this one you can do another year like a rocky monster exactly i've completely forgotten what i was talking about so yeah just move on that's okay we did see uh a angry ange postacoglu on the touchline although he played it down afterwards yeah i i saw i like wilson i only saw highlights of this game because unfortunately it wasn't shown live in the uk i wish it had been because i was i would have liked to have seen the whole thing but um i i did see there was some sort of kerfuffle involving ange but i don't know what it was all about well i think that is it valise the the young striker had come on and he was injured.

And I think some Bournemouth, this might be, this is just guessing, some Bournemouth coaching staff thought he was making it up, but he was clearly

knacked and had to come off.

And so I think that's what it was about.

But there was a lot of Poke pointing and people holding Ange back, going, it's not worth it, Brian.

Just leave it.

But yeah, it was fine after that.

Wolves battled Everton 3-0.

Gary O'Neill saying afterwards that he'd actually tried to have it postponed due to player fatigue, which producer Joel suggests is what the kids would call a a flex I mean Paul they were they were so much better than Everton in this game they really were and I think I mean Everton just looked knackered Everton like

as you as you'd probably expect look knackered after what they've done over the last few few weeks

they're definitely in need of a break

yeah and and I think to be honest this is this is where it gets really interesting with this points deduction is that suddenly you're looking at Everton and again they look like they're in the relegation mire and it's it you know I'm not going to talk from a financial or rules perspective but for the players it must feel pretty unfair to still be in that mire you know when when you look at some of the wins they've got the fact they should could be on 26 points mid-table you know with the likes of bournemouth and wolves um and instead they're they're still very much in in a scrap for their lives it it must at some point start to catch up with the players mentally as much as physically surely at this point Yeah, they didn't have a shot on target.

And actually, like in those previous games, that they probably should have won at Spurs.

They pushed City at least for 45 minutes, but this game they did look hopeless.

It's worth remembering on the Wolves front, Wilson, you know, that Ruben Nevers left, Ralph Jimenez, Matthias Nunes, Nathan Collins, they all left in the summer.

You know, so for Gary O'Neill to be doing this, Neto's been out a while as well.

To be fair, Nathan Collins did come back last week

for a brief cameo,

yes.

But that aside, those two passes aside, oh, they've had it.

You know, just hats off to Gary O'Neill.

Sorry.

They've had a great Christmas.

Wilson went out to celebrate New Year's Eve and he's come back with chuperculos.

Where the hell were you?

1870.

It's just at home.

Just

had

some lovely champagne and a very nice bottle of Coteon.

It was

a good night.

Clearly.

Do you need a glass of water?

Yeah, Wilson had a great Christmas.

Hopefully Joel can work with that.

Our apologies to Wolves fans.

We will do you better service next time.

Man City Beach Have United 2-0.

Look, we've established that they are now the favourites, aren't they, Paul?

Because they've just got all their players.

De Bruyne coming back.

Harland, I think, is back relatively soon.

I mean, I don't know that for sure.

And like when they have all these, like, Rodri is just so elite.

You know, you don't need to add Goldwoods to his game.

He's got everything else.

Suddenly, Oscar Bob appears out of nowhere, plays this glorious weighted pass.

Foden in the 10 is amazing.

So, yeah, good luck, everyone else.

Yeah, no, they are.

They are.

They are definitely the favourites.

They're not losing anyone in January, I think.

And

they've got Newcastle.

They've got to go to Newcastle.

But then, you know, the fixture list looks pretty kind.

I think it's Burnley, Brentford.

Everton.

You know, it's a very nice looking fixture list for them for the next few weeks while other teams have it much tougher.

Um, yeah, I think it's it's no, you don't have to be um a tactical genius like Wilson to pull that one out and say that Man City are probably the favourites.

Um,

I'd say they are at the moment, but I am very much appreciating that there is a race, you know, and I think you know, there is a race there, and and that's better than it's been in the past for us.

So I'm clinging on to that.

No, um, please do.

Me too.

Liverpool Newcastle's tonight, uh, West Ham Brighton on Tuesday.

We'll talk about both those games on Wednesday.

Uh, Troy Townsend, MBE, for services to being totally honest.

Good man.

Yes.

I mean, of all the panelists, he was probably up there as most likely.

I would have been slightly surprised

looking down this Zoom call.

Yeah, it's quite weird.

I'm very much not a fan of the honours system and you know, the Liz Trust resignation honors list.

Anyone who accepts one is should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

And yet, when I heard Troy got his MBE, I did an air punch and a yes.

So I'm just a massive hypocrite.

So well done, Troy.

I'm very proud of him.

It's worth pointing out, Troy Townsend was not on Liz Truss's resignation.

Yes, so absolutely

list of awards.

Anyway, for services to tackling discrimination and promoting inclusion in football, good for you, Troy.

We're very proud of you.

Jamie says, if you don't dedicate more time to talking about O'Brooth's backup goalkeeper coming on as an outfield player and scoring a screamer than the Wolves Everton game, I wonder what's happened to the podcast I know and love.

Well, it's not difficult given what we've said.

I think we've already given him more confidence than the Wolves Everton games.

Ali Adams was brought on as a striker in our Broadths game against Wraith Rovers.

They were 2-0 down.

He scored like a swiveling volley, dipping volley.

Absolutely stunning, wasn't it?

Was he brought on as a striker in the way Stuart Pierce brought on David James as striker and left John Macken on the bench, which I think more or less finished John Macken's career.

Forgive me for not being certain about Arbroath's squad, but I don't believe there were any other players they could bring on outfield.

Yeah, I think they'd used all their outfield subsidies they had available.

Then a defender was injured and they thought he could do the least damage to them by playing him up front.

And what a hit it was.

He also scored a 55-yard free kick before in the past.

So he's got history for this.

He scored.

If you have a look at this, it's an amazing goal.

I think it's the first goal he ever scored.

It's an absolute masterpiece.

So I reckon he knew what he was doing.

I reckon he fancied it was a good thing.

I think once a free kick gets past 35 yards, there's a bit of hit and hope about it, if you ask me.

Paul, anyway, talk to us about Nauru.

All right.

So

if you insist, there are six sovereign states in the world that are not in a FIFA confederation.

So you have the Vatican, Monaco, Palau, Federated States of Micronesia, Marshall Islands and Nauru.

And they've all actually had football associations at various points.

Apart from Monaco and Vatican, they are all also in Oceania.

So you have these little nations that are off the football map.

And Nauru had never actually had a proper FA, but they did have a sort of one by name that was inactive, which was brilliantly called the Nauru Amateur Soccer Association.

So it was NASA, which I just think they must have done on purpose.

They've never fielded a team in any football match.

Only them and the Marshall Islands can say that.

And their only pitch is like a rock-hard Aussie Rules pitch.

But now, as of last week, they have a British guy on the board called Gareth Johnson, and he has brought in a UK coach called Charlie Pomroy, who works in Cambodia at a club called Angkor City.

And they are trying to re, well, effectively jump-start football in Nauru on this tiny tiny little island in the Pacific, the world's smallest island nation.

And quite excitingly, they've got an ex-Premier League player, and they won't say who it is, but I know who it is, lined up to join their coaching team this year in a bid to play their first ever game, which is actually really exciting.

I'm also quite biased about this region because obviously I

started out in Micronesia.

And so I also have to plug the fact that

you might remember last year we were were flogging football shirts.

I was hawking shirts on this very show, in fact, micro cup shirts.

So Federated States of Micronesia, another one of these nations is not in FIFA, but still plays football.

They are launching their national football shirt, their first national football shirt since they had one in 2015 when they played their last national game.

And it didn't go particularly well.

They lost 46 nil to Vanuatu in 2015.

So they're relaunching the national team in a bid to erase the memory of that by winning a game.

And so they need to sell these football shirts, which are being made by Stings,

S-T-I-N-G-Z,

ProWare.

And they are making these beautiful national team shirts that are being launched over the next few days.

And all the sales are going towards trying to take a team from the Federated States of Micronesia to go and play someone and actually win to finally put to bed this 46-0 defeat, which is somewhat sitting on the consciousness over there.

Send us all the details on, and we'll, of course, tell everyone on the pod, Paul, that is

a love supporting these things.

Wilson, two things for you quickly.

Solomon Rondon, what's happened to the greatest player in the world?

He's joined Peshuca in Mexico.

So he helped River to the title last season.

I think he got 10 goals in 30 odd games for them.

He's 34 now.

But it's an exciting time to be Solomon Rondong because Venezuela, well, he's Venezuela's all-time leading goal scored, I think it has been for some time.

But they now look like they might qualify for the World Cup in 2026, partly because

nine and a half of the 10 teams in Commonwealth qualify or something, but partly because they're actually winning games.

So, hopefully, he could be there to leave Venezuela in the first ever World Cup in 2026.

And he'll be playing for Pashiko next season.

I'd suggest it's always an exciting time to be Salomon London.

That would be my feeling.

Finally, we've had lots of questions about this.

In the quiz in the Football Weekly book, which is still available, it's gone down pretty well.

There are 16 questions, and only 15 of them have the answers.

So,

question 16.

At the 1966 World Cup, anthems were played only before the opening match and the final because A, there was a musician strike, B, the organisers want to ensure the games kicked off promptly for television, C, the authorities didn't want to play the anthem of North Korea, which had not been formally recognised as a nation by the UK, or D, anthems were deemed overly militaristic.

What's your guess, Barry?

I suspect you haven't even remembered the options.

I've gone across C.

C, Paul?

Yeah, I'm going for C too.

That sounds fairly realistic.

Okay.

Wilson.

C is correct.

Well done.

Well done.

One point for Paul.

One point for Barry.

It's a draw, and that'll do for today.

Thank you, Wilson.

Cheers,

thanks, Baz.

Thank you.

Thank you, Paul.

Cheers.

Football Weekly is produced by Joel Grove.

Our executive producer is Daniel Stevens.

We'll be back on Wednesday.

This is The Guardian.

Coach, the energy out there felt different.

What changed for the team today?

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Coach, one more question.

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