Is the Chelsea project finally working? – Football Weekly

Speaker 1 This is The Guardian.

Speaker 3 So that means a half day.

Speaker 2 Yeah? give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.

Speaker 4 Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offers for first three months only.
Speeds low under 25 gigabytes of networks busy.

Speaker 4 Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 3 See mintmobile.com.

Speaker 5 It's time your hard-earned money works harder for you. With the Wealthfront Cash account, your uninvested cash can earn up to 4.15% APY.

Speaker 5 That's a 0.65% boost over an already high rate for three months, just for being a new client. Plus, free instant withdrawals to eligible accounts.
Start today at Wealthfront.com.

Speaker 5 3.5% base APY via Program Banks as of November 7th, 2025. It is representative, variable, requires no minimum, and is earned on funds swept to Program Banks.
Boost up to $150,000.

Speaker 5 Cash account offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC member FINRA SIPC, Nada Bank.

Speaker 1 Hello and welcome to the Guardian Football Weekly. Is it time to sound the Taking Chelsea Seriously Horn? A comprehensive win over Barcelona at Stamford Bridge.

Speaker 1 The headlines will be about Estevau out Yamaling Yamal, but the Blues dominated all over the pitch. So good in midfield, solid at the back.
Even before Barca had a man sent off, Chelsea was superior.

Speaker 1 Elsewhere, Newcastle lose in Marseille, and both Manchester clubs have booed off in the space of two days. City last night at home to Labour Cousin, and on Monday, United lose to 10-man Everton.

Speaker 1 David Moy is all in favour of the slapping your own teammate tactic to lull the opposition.

Speaker 1 Also, the shocking news that Ronaldo will be able to play in the opening game of the World Cup, and there's the Sky Sports box to review, or whatever it's called.

Speaker 1 As always, we'll answer your questions, and that's today's Guardian Football Weekly.

Speaker 1 In our own little box today, Lars Sivitson, welcome.

Speaker 3 Hi, Max.

Speaker 1 Hello, Sam Dalling.

Speaker 6 Hello, Max.

Speaker 1 Are you live from the south of France? That's Sam, not Barry. Barry, welcome, Barry, Glendenning.

Speaker 3 Hello, I'm live from the south of London.

Speaker 1 Excellent. Let's begin at Stanford Bridge.
Chelsea 3, Barcelona 0. Ashwatt says, Can Chelsea do the quintuple? Of course, that now exists given the Club World Cup.

Speaker 1 Three goals of Chelsea, three disallowed goals. And Barry, they dominated this game.
And I just thought were absolutely brilliant.

Speaker 3 They were brilliant. Barcelona were.

Speaker 3 Is it a surprise anymore that they were poor, but they were poor? I think,

Speaker 3 and I guess he stands out, another Chelsea player who stands out for good or bad because of his conspicuous hair. But I think Mark Cuccarella has been brilliant for them this year.

Speaker 3 He was superb again this last night.

Speaker 3 Estevao was superb, obviously. I presume we'll get to him later.
He'll have his own little subsection.

Speaker 3 I think Pedro Neto was brilliant. I think Enzo Maresca deserves credit for deciding to play Netto through the centre.
That really worked with Carinacho and Estevao either side. Defence was good.

Speaker 3 Robert Sanchez was good. And it was a really impressive performance from Chelsea.
who made Barcelona look very, very ordinary indeed.

Speaker 3 I'm not watching enough Spanish football or indeed any Spanish football really to know if this is

Speaker 3 how Barcelona are these days, but I was shocked by how

Speaker 3 ordinary they looked.

Speaker 1 You could look at that result and look at the red card and kind of discount the performance a little bit, but we shouldn't because apart from that fair end chance that Barcelona have early and maybe that changes the game, this was so dominant from Chelsea.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, I completely agree with you. I'm not inclined to look away from

Speaker 3 what happened before, and I thought it was very, very impressive by Chelsea.

Speaker 3 I want to turn it on Barcelona a little bit as well, though, because Barcelona are in this sort of weird phase where they have been picking up wins domestically, and they're still in a good spot in the league.

Speaker 3 But they lost PSG in the Champions League.

Speaker 3 They lost the Classico. They had that ridiculous 3-3 game against Klubbrugge.

Speaker 3 And they've also been countered into bits by Sevilla a little while back as well. And in between those, there have been wins against the Olympiacos.
They beat Elche, they beat Salto Vigo, but

Speaker 3 they don't seem convincing. It's one of those, they've won enough games that they're not like in crisis mode just yet, I don't think.

Speaker 3 I mean, maybe we'll have Sid to tell us at some point, but I feel like something is very close to going quite wrong there. And it is the Hansi Flicks.

Speaker 3 And it's funny because the very high aggressive Hansi Flick press almost yielded them a first goal here with that Ferrantora's chance early on. And maybe the game would have been very different.

Speaker 3 but I have seen so many Barcelona games so far the season already in which you keep thinking hang on these are really easy to get at you know obviously with Lamin Yamal and Pedri there's so much talent there that they can do things to you but they seem to concede chances so easily and I'm not convinced they've got it right still with this press and the defensive line and all that and Chelsea just had a surprisingly comfortable day.

Speaker 3 Now, some of that is Chelsea being very good. I'll accept that, but I also just think that there's slightly worried about what's going on with Buffalo at the moment.

Speaker 1 Sam, if we do the Estevau subsection as Barry wanted to do, I mean, that goal, I had to watch it so many times to see, because the first time you see it, you think, okay, he gets a lucky deflection off someone.

Speaker 1 This isn't all him. And then the more you watch it, you're like, actually, this is all him, this balance.
This is this just incredible closed control and the ability to finish it off.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and that's the...

Speaker 6 the beauty of things done like at the very highest level, whatever it is, whether it's football, whether it's writing, academics it's about making the really complicated the really difficult things to do look so simple so you don't even notice them and there are there are other top-level footballers who sort of stand up and basically wave their arms around and go yeah look at me here's my step over here's my tricks i'm going to be that individual almost nba basketball style and esterbau doesn't seem to be that there's there's room for it but it's all about efficiency right and and to do stuff that efficiently i mean it was wonderful he's a joy i do enjoy these narratives that the media create, like one player versus another.

Speaker 6 I mean, they have to find a narrative in a game. So it was Estevao versus Yamao.
And I thought, oh, well, he's only three months older than him. Like, well, in fairness,

Speaker 6 you almost feel like some people are writing Yamao off. He's 18.
He won a couple of titles already.

Speaker 3 He's done a fair bit.

Speaker 3 Estevao is brilliant, right?

Speaker 6 He's had a very good 90 minutes. He's outshone him, but it's not like Yamao hasn't done much.
So, yeah, he's a wonderful player. Chelsea, I think, will be a wonderful team.
It's that youthfulness and

Speaker 6 getting the consistency. Barcelona, I saw them earlier in the season, right? And they were missing, like Rashford came off the bench, didn't he?

Speaker 6 Because he hadn't been very well, and they were missing Pedri and Rafinha. So they were missing a lot of attacking talent.
And you don't know, like, Chelsea had a comfortable night.

Speaker 6 Would it have been different had they had that attacking talent on the pitch? Probably. I mean, this the red card is what when you've already been booked to fly him with that tackle.

Speaker 6 I wonder if he looked Hansie flick in the eyes during that half-time team talk, that stare he would have got. Because I mean, that killed it.

Speaker 6 I mean, they were probably losing that game anyway, but that really didn't help.

Speaker 3 When Arahu got sent off, there, the TNT commentator, I'm not sure who it was, said, Kukarella made that happen. And I was thinking,

Speaker 3 I think Arahu made that happen.

Speaker 1 But Kucarella is very good. I mean, he's very good at lots of things, right? But he's very good at rolling around.

Speaker 1 Like he did another one earlier. I think he got someone else booked.
But it was interesting you brought him up, Baz, because, and I think you're right too, because he had a brilliant game.

Speaker 1 And it is, Barrier, a

Speaker 1 it is a sign.

Speaker 1 Because if you think about how we talked about Cucarello when he signed for Chelsea for a lot of money, 50 odd million, and he didn't play well, and then we sort of cast this player aside.

Speaker 1 And I think of footballers who have signed this year, be it Florian Vertz or Javi Simmons or whoever in any position, and we go,

Speaker 1 these are shite. And actually, look how brilliant Cucarello is.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's got a shout out for being the best left back in the Premier League and therefore, you know, in the world, possibly, the way he's playing at the moment.

Speaker 3 I mean, I've already sung his praises.

Speaker 3 I'll only be repeating myself, but he's a very good defender. He's a very good going forward.

Speaker 3 He

Speaker 3 is a complete shithouse, but he's their shithouse. You know, you want him in your team, but

Speaker 3 he's a pantomime hate figure if he's playing against you.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 3 because of the big hair, you do notice him. He sticks out.
And when he's playing badly, he's conspicuous, and when he's playing well, he's conspicuous. At the moment, he's playing very, very well.

Speaker 3 But it wasn't always a bed of roses for him at Chelsea, and it took him a while to hit his stride with them.

Speaker 3 So, a friend of mine recently found herself on the same golf course as Mark Cucorrea and was nearly hit by said Kukurea driving a golf buggy.

Speaker 3 So, I can tell you as a sort of special insight that actually he is quite chaotic off the pitch as well. Like, the sort of

Speaker 3 slightly unhinged S housing does not end

Speaker 3 at the white lines. I was thinking about this thing you mentioned, Max, about how he's like good at getting people in trouble.
And that feels correct because he's such a combative guy.

Speaker 3 But I also just wonder, is this because he's so noticeable when he falls over because the hair goes everywhere? Maybe that we kind of remember, oh, there goes Kokorea.

Speaker 3 Whereas when normal people get tackled, it's just a person who gets tackled.

Speaker 1 I like the way that you, um, you know, you differentiate between the two types of people, people with long hair and normal people.

Speaker 3 is

Speaker 3 important way to

Speaker 3 even more so even more so now

Speaker 3 Yeah

Speaker 1 But also Lars to me to to credit you you have kind of not defended the Chelsea project That's the wrong way of phrasing it, but you have said this could work right what they have done could work and we are starting to see and maybe a bit lazily from me I've kind of said there are so many players It's quite hard to work out what they are so I don't really have to study what they are but actually watching them last night you saw a real sense of a team that understood each part understood what the other part was trying to do.

Speaker 3 Well, what I've been saying is I haven't disagreed with anyone who said there's so many players, we don't quite know what they are, because I think that's been quite clear.

Speaker 3 But what I have said is that some of those players are really good.

Speaker 3 The emergence of Estevao as like a genuine super, super,

Speaker 3 a potential world superstar. Like if you buy enough of the most talented sort of 19 to 23 year olds on the planet, you throw enough hundreds of millions at it.

Speaker 3 It's just low of averages sooner or later. Like you're employing some pretty good scouts and some pretty good analysts as well.

Speaker 3 It just guess stands to reasons that you are going to hit gold at some point. And I've also, I'm going to repeat myself because I feel like I say this every time Chelsea comes up.

Speaker 3 I think Fernandez and Caicedo is like

Speaker 3 the beginning of one of the possibly the best midfield in the country. I mean, it's a little harsh on the sort of rice subi Mendi and whoever plays with them is kind of good as well.

Speaker 3 But I really think that's two-thirds of the best midfield in the country. And it gives Mareska some flexibility with who he puts in as a third in there.
But they are extremely good.

Speaker 3 And I guess to pull myself up from earlier, I did reference Pedri, who was not playing in this game. Just going to preface some of the angry tweets that will be heading my way from Barcelona fans.

Speaker 3 And also, in fairness to Barcelona,

Speaker 3 I guess they had Eric Arcia in midfield in this game, which is one of those things that's not ideal when you're coming up against a very, very, very good midfield.

Speaker 3 So it was tricky from them from that point of view. But my suspicion of the Hansiflick project and the direction of travel remains.

Speaker 6 I think just on Chelsea, we need to try and I have this conversation with mates quite a lot. We need to step back.
We might be confused and think, oh, the number of players they sign, but

Speaker 6 maybe there is a real sense of like they're very deliberate and calculated internally, but they treat football very differently to a lot of other clubs. It is a stock exchange for them.

Speaker 6 They're buying to sell and they've done it brilliantly for 15 years. So they're not necessarily signing players.

Speaker 6 to be in their first team and it's a weird concept to look at but it is like at 6 30 the stock market's open right who can we buy? Who can we sell today?

Speaker 6 It's a different way of watching football, but they've done it for years and years. And I think there's a lot of envy in the people that knock them, actually, for it.

Speaker 1 Is there a room in Cobham of just sort of, you know, slicked back-haired gentlemen in suits yelling at each other in this kind of completely incomprehensible world where everyone's furious and cheering and slamming old school telephones down at the same time because they've just signed another 15-year-old from,

Speaker 1 I don't know, Gremio or something like that. Anyway, it's worth saying, it works actually badly.
This sets up Sunday.

Speaker 1 I mean, who knows what happens tonight with Arsenal and Bayern, but this sets up Chelsea Arsenal at Stanford Bridge perfectly.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, it was already set up perfectly. I'm not sure how this

Speaker 3 makes any difference.

Speaker 3 I don't know why.

Speaker 1 It felt like a sensible question. It was just, look, it wasn't a Paxman question.
It was just trying to, you know, it's a good game to look forward to, just something like that.

Speaker 3 It's when you get a pass when a player just drills it into you, and the only thing you can do is just kind of send a straight back with your first touch. I don't know.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I don't think that was a hospital.

Speaker 3 That wasn't a hospital pass. I basically put him clean through just then.
All he had to do was tap it in.

Speaker 3 You know.

Speaker 3 I mean, we've been talking about this game for 50. I literally have nothing more to say about it.
Fine, fine. You've nothing more to say.

Speaker 1 We've done all the subsections. All that needs to be done is done.

Speaker 3 I just worked on it on Barcelona.

Speaker 1 That's okay. Don't apologise.
You're absolutely right. It's nice.
It keeps me on my toes, Barry.

Speaker 1 They've got Frankfurt, Savior Prague and Copenhagen, Barcelona in the next three. So even though they've only got seven points, they should be all right to get through, certainly to the playoffs.

Speaker 1 To the Etihad, Manchester City lost 2-0 to buy a Labour Cousin. They made 10 changes.

Speaker 1 Pep agreeing with Barry's assessment that these games do not matter. I mean, it still lasts.
It's a very good 11. And, you know, 400 million pounds of players on the bench.

Speaker 1 They called on a lot of them. Foden, Doku, Turkey, and Harland all came on.
And I guess any defeat for Man City is still a big story, I think.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so yeah, I want to name Check Archie here, who tweeted something along the lines of, you know,

Speaker 3 Pep is suggesting he can't make 11 changes. But, I mean, the squad.

Speaker 3 he had out there, the 11 he had out was bought for over 400 million euros, which is more than twice what Levikusen spent spent on their starting 11.

Speaker 3 And Levikusen have spent a lot by a German standard, partially because they brought in a lot of money from some

Speaker 3 from big sales. I have to say,

Speaker 3 this 11, they're very good players, but they're not the players who have been the regulars this year. It's clearly a

Speaker 3 it had big Carabao energy, this lineup, when it when it put out, you just immediately thought this is gonna be.

Speaker 1 Which I think is what Carabao wants you to get, isn't it?

Speaker 3 Exactly, yeah, exactly right. This is a tremendous rending by them, should have said big carabao energy, Yeah, maybe that would have been the key.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, and I just, I think it's an example of the fact that these, with this group stage being the way it is, you can afford to take a game off, essentially.

Speaker 3 You can afford to take a game where you just, yeah, we won't arrest our regular guys. We're just going to rotate everyone and throw them in there.
And if we lose a game, it really doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 Like, you're still fine in the group.

Speaker 3 And I think that's maybe a little bit of a weakness of the new system, which I think, broadly speaking, has not been as terrible as I maybe thought it would have, it should be.

Speaker 3 but I think it's a weakness that you have a game like that and you come away feeling like it, like it doesn't really matter.

Speaker 3 If you're going to try to apply any kind of serious football attempts at analysis to this, it is another example, I think, of kind of how reliant they are on Erling Holland up front because Mamouch is not a bad player, but he's such a different player.

Speaker 3 So I feel like the team is kind of set up. Players are used to playing to Erling now, and it's resulting in this incredible season by him so far.

Speaker 3 But when you put a Mamouch up there who needs needs a completely different kind of service, who's a completely different kind of presence,

Speaker 3 it's like it doesn't quite work in the same way.

Speaker 3 It is also odd seeing I know where he got, he's still completely forgotten that they brought him in from Wolves.

Speaker 3 He was there.

Speaker 3 It's a bit of an odd one in that sense. But yeah, I hasten to read too much into it.
I think this was Pep just wanting to rest some guys and accepting that a loss is not the worst thing in the world.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I know he got injured in the early in the season. Yes, I'm looking forward to Thomas Frank saying, we just wanted to let a game go last night, tomorrow on tomorrow's pod after PSG away.

Speaker 1 Yes, I mean, Lars can't see too much over analysis of this game. Can you, Barry?

Speaker 3 I think

Speaker 3 with a very busy time of the season looming,

Speaker 3 Pep took a bit of a gamble. It didn't pay off.
It obviously was a very expensive city reserve team full of very good players.

Speaker 3 They weren't terrible. I mean, they had chances.
Mark Flecken,

Speaker 3 the former Brentford keeper, he was in goal for Bayer-Leverkus, and he made some very important saves. He denied Erling Haaland in a one-on-one as well.

Speaker 3 Gerald Kwanzaa was playing for Bayer-Leverkus as well. He was very impressive, I thought.

Speaker 3 And I think there's probably a few Liverpool fans that wish they had him back or hadn't sold him during the summer. Yeah, it's just Pep taking a gamble.
It didn't pay pay off.

Speaker 3 So City have now lost, what, two in a row.

Speaker 3 It's not a great look, but ultimately, and Mark Langdon may well be angry with me for saying this, but I don't think this matters a huge amount.

Speaker 3 And it's probably good that some of those City players got a run out, but, you know, James Trafford got us a rare start.

Speaker 3 But I don't think any of them particularly covered themselves in glory.

Speaker 1 Lovely header from Patrick Schick, I thought. I think that's sort of lovely movement, movement, lovely glancing header.

Speaker 1 And yeah, Pep before the game did apologize for yelling in a cameraman's ear, but in a sort of, I am what I am, you know, there's sort of that kind of at the press conference.

Speaker 1 It was good fun, you know. Anyway, that'll do for part one.
Part two will begin in Marseille.

Speaker 9 Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start? Thumbtack knows home, so you don't have to.

Speaker 9 Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro.
You just have to hire one.

Speaker 9 You can hire top-rated pros, see price estimates, and read reviews all on the app.

Speaker 3 Download today.

Speaker 5 It's time your hard-earned money works harder for you. With the Wealthfront Cash account, your uninvested cash can earn up to 4.15% APY.

Speaker 5 That's a 0.65% boost over an already high rate for three months, just for being a new client. Plus, free instant withdrawals to eligible accounts.
Start today at Wealthfront.com.

Speaker 5 3.5% base APY via program banks as of November 7th, 2025. It is representative, variable, requires no minimum, and is earned on funds wept to program banks.
Boost up to $150,000.

Speaker 5 Cash account offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC member FINRA SIPC, Nada Bank.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part two of the Guardian Football Weekly. So, Sam, you were there in Marseille to watch Newcastle take the lead and then lose to Pierre Emmerich Abameyang.
How was it?

Speaker 6 Oh, where do I start? I mean, do I start with football or do I start with non-footballing stuff?

Speaker 3 Wherever you want, sir.

Speaker 3 So much going on.

Speaker 6 The goal was gloriously celebrated. I have never been in the ground before.
I filmed it. It looked up huge screens in the Velodrome and it said time until kickoff.

Speaker 6 And I watched it tick from three hours to two hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds.

Speaker 3 That's many hours.

Speaker 6 That's many hours. So by the time Harvey Barnes scored in the sixth minute, I'd been in the ground for 196 minutes or something like that.
Look, Marseille fans have a terrible reputation and

Speaker 6 we had this guidance from Newcastle United that basically said,

Speaker 1 Tell us you don't want us here without actually saying you don't want us here.

Speaker 6 Don't come here. Don't wear colours.
Don't wear anything that identifies you as a Newcastle fan. You must meet at 4.30 in this square, miles away from the ground.

Speaker 6 And it's a nine o'clock kickoff, by the way, out here.

Speaker 6 And apparently those were the conditions. that's the only way you could get tickets and look there's an argument with the greatest respect I think

Speaker 3 Newcastle fans whatever they're wearing will always look like Newcastle fans and I don't mean that in a disrespectful way they have a quite distinct appearance yeah I think I think that is is fair is a very fair point but look that that was the only way we these strict arrangements because of the way marseille fans are is the only way you can get tickets and I sort of I say I sort of feel I feel very strongly

Speaker 6 If your support base is that idiotic, that that is the only way away fans can visit your ground, that I'm not sure you should have the privilege of being in UEFA competitions. But that's just my view.

Speaker 1 Look, as early as we were, that was boredom, right?

Speaker 6 I was bored, but I was safe. We got in early, and actually, it was quite efficient.
We got onto these tubes, they didn't stop, bang into the ground. Brilliant.

Speaker 6 And we were told we would have to wait in the ground afterwards. We told we held in for an hour or so, or at least an hour.

Speaker 6 And that that is one of the unfortunate accompaniments it comes with traveling away it's sad and I don't think it's right but you know that but we were expecting a little bit of social mingling and actually what happened was we were sort of herded into

Speaker 6 on the steps huge concrete steps and after about the people were very patient and we knew it was gonna happen and after about 90 minutes it started to get a little bit heated and people went all right can we actually go now and then there's a little bit of pushy and most fans are really patient a couple were losing their rag a little bit and it turned into what what could have been or should have been a really safe situation turned into one that's potentially pretty dangerous right and to be clear that this was no full-blown riot right there was there was some pepper spray out there was the police had the batons out a little bit and i'm not trying to like over sensationalize it but what i am saying is that those scenarios are tinderboxes right and once i'm six foot two and i can see over the top and there's about 85 kilos of me so i could hold my weight just just about but once it starts moving you've got no option but to move with the crowd and you lose control of your body very quickly and if it and it didn't get to that tipping point but if it gets to that tipping point there isn't anything you can do about it and on my social media the frustrating thing was

Speaker 6 I took photos, there was masses of space behind the French police and they just weren't moving at all. And then we got downstairs, the first layer, we got downstairs and you go into this vast chasm.

Speaker 6 I think it's the coach park for away fans under the ground and you could probably get 40, 50

Speaker 6 coaches parked in there. And this is why they didn't hold Newcastle fans there

Speaker 6 is beyond me. And so I think luckily there were a few people pepper sprayed.
There was some tears and anything like that. It shouldn't happen at football grounds.

Speaker 6 But it's just another example of actually Marseille fans didn't see them all night. Brilliant atmosphere.

Speaker 6 The ground's amazing and it tinged it because even though we lost, I'd have said that was a worthwhile trip because that stadium is wonderful. The atmosphere is brilliant.

Speaker 6 That was European football at its best. But it just took away from it.
Everyone just wanted to get home. And then we, I was lucky in that I booked a hotel right next to the square we were taken.

Speaker 6 But actually, we were talking about safety. They took everyone five or six kilometers out of town.
There's no metros. There's no, you're trying to get a cab.

Speaker 6 People were then having to walk back to where they'd booked at two in the morning in Marseille. So it just, it became a bit of an unsavoury experience.
One that I love going to watch my football.

Speaker 6 The French police, as I said, turned something that should have been pleasant and easy to deal with. There was no sign of trouble.
Everyone was in decent spirits.

Speaker 6 And I saw, I'm sorry, I'm wittering on here a little bit.

Speaker 3 But I feel quite strongly about it.

Speaker 6 That it's just so unnecessary. And it took away from, you remember, we go for joy, right? You go away with your mates to go and watch football.
You go and follow your team. It's meant to be brilliant.

Speaker 6 It's meant to be moments like Harvey Barnes scoring that goal and you go into absolute delirium.

Speaker 6 It's meant to be moments like Nick Pope having an absolute shocker and just unable to believe what you've just seen. That's fine, I can live with that.
I didn't enjoy the rest of it.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, I must say, I love football, but why anybody would go through that knowing that you have to get there three hours early?

Speaker 1 I don't know what you do for those three hours, you know, and then knowing that you're gonna, you know, you might be kettled off as but even held for that long afterwards.

Speaker 1 I mean, credit to those fans who want to do that, I guess. Um, to the game itself,

Speaker 1 yes, you kind of alluded to it. Simon says, What on God's green earth was Nick Pope doing all the way out there? It was an amazing actually, Barry, it was a brilliant finish.

Speaker 1 I was looking at it thinking, Is that like a putt, or is it more like one of those really good 10-pin bowlers?

Speaker 1 In that, you know, when you're awake too late and you're watching USAV Europe 10-pin bowling, and they put real curl on it right at the end, that's what it reminded me of.

Speaker 3 I don't think I've ever been awake that late, Bax, but I'll take your orange.

Speaker 1 Just me, is it the Musconi Cup or is that Pool?

Speaker 3 I forgot, but anyway, it was, I think,

Speaker 3 because of the heat Nick Pope is getting, probably deserved heat for charging out of his area like that.

Speaker 3 I think

Speaker 3 the quality of the finish has been overlooked and Pope's heart must have just sank into his boots because he probably thought he got away with it.

Speaker 3 But the finish, it sort of double swerved, as you alluded to there, Max, on its way in. And I think it's a brilliant, brilliant goal.

Speaker 3 Well, you know, a bit of of a gift, but he had so much work to do to get it into the goal from that angle. And,

Speaker 3 yeah, you saw him take the little look up and then, boom,

Speaker 3 brilliant finish.

Speaker 1 Sam, you wanted to talk about Nick Pope and whether it's, you know, because Aaron Ramsdale is there too, and he is also good. How you feel about Nick Pope's position as your number one?

Speaker 6 He is good. He does love a relegation, though, doesn't he, Aaron Ramsdale? Look, Nick Pope has been brilliant for Newcastle.

Speaker 6 This is where the question's over Eddie Howe.

Speaker 6 And look, I'm not, again, not trying to over-sensationalise things, but I understand why, like, if you lose games as a football manager, there has been some criticism, and his loyalty to certain players is something that's potentially got him into trouble.

Speaker 6 Like,

Speaker 6 the Man City game, as brilliant as when it was, you can't get overexcited about it as a Newcastle fan, because actually we're used to...

Speaker 6 beating sides of that ilk at home with those kind of performances. It's the games that follow.
It's the away games. It's these sort of games where we really struggle.

Speaker 6 And yesterday, it was a real like mismatch it was a really poor game actually there were a lot it was open and there were a lot of to use a tennis term unforced errors like there was one point actually and i'm sorry i've gone off pope where tino liveramento over towards their right back late in the first half takes a terrible touch and the ball goes out for a throw in like he's just he's looked elsewhere and just failed to trap a very easy ball and then the french the marseille right back has done exactly the same thing to give the ball back to us like literally five seconds later like that's a sign of the quality of that game but like pope pope is a brilliant old school goalkeeper.

Speaker 6 He is a shot stopper. He has saved Newcastle United many, many points in the years he's been in.
He's also not a good kicker.

Speaker 6 And he is a subutio keeper in the sense that you remember you have them on the sticks and you can't push them any further out the net. Like he doesn't go beyond this six-yard box ever.

Speaker 3 So just look up, yeah, to look up. He did last night.

Speaker 3 To look up and see him. No one can believe it.

Speaker 6 And if you look back at the video, you can see Malik Chow in screen going, no, get back like what on earth are you doing and as much as i love nick pope there's a question about evolution and what does what do newcastle need and i know this might sound a little bit arrogant but that new castle and i are trying to improve and so what do you need as a goalkeeper to take you to

Speaker 6 another level and you need someone who's able to to play football to come out and and command that area outside of his area and look it was no secret newcastle agreed a fee for james trafford and they pursued him for two years And the fee was a really big one in the summer.

Speaker 6 Man City came in and consumpted them, as was their right. They had a right to match.
They've brought in Ramsdale, who's

Speaker 6 he came off the bench at Brentford. He's played a couple of Carabao Cup games.
But that's three away games in a row. Newcastle have been leading.

Speaker 6 And then suboptimal goalkeeping has led to an equaliser. And that was the biggest howl of them all.
And Howe should have a question about who plays at Everton on Saturday.

Speaker 6 I don't think he will change it, but there really should be question marks over Nick Pope.

Speaker 3 Can I put a question to Sam as a a Newcastle United enjoyer and someone who watches them very closely?

Speaker 3 I was multi-screening, but I also got the sense that this was very end-to-end. And like you say, no one could really control the game.

Speaker 3 It was just, and that is, I feel like a lot of Newcastle games go that way.

Speaker 3 And oftentimes it suits them. When they're at their best, you have a lot of guys who can run in that team and you have a lot of energy.

Speaker 3 But for a team that is aspiring to be near the top, do they need to try to evolve into a team that can control control things a little bit more, that can put their foot on the ball and just take the tempo out of things and just like do the thing that City usually does very well and just pass the ball around for five minutes and just control things more?

Speaker 3 Because it seems to be like, I almost feel like watching a rugby highlight sometimes. It's like loads of people running forwards and then, oh no, no, everyone has to run back.

Speaker 3 And this sort of chaos, if you're going to do 50, 60 games a year, it's not good. Like you can't do that all the time.

Speaker 6 Absolutely. And they've been trying to do it for a couple of years.
That season we first qualified for the Champions League, no one knew the Newcastle United approach.

Speaker 6 So it came as a bit of a surprise so we could do that play on the counter-attack but then suddenly if you want to be a consistent top four sides teams come to you and they shut up shop and you have to learn to be man city to be that and i'm not nowhere near that level but you have to have those almost boring two goal wins at home to teams in the middle of the table that you don't even think about they they don't even register you just go you've got a champions league game midweek you've got the the side in 12th on a saturday sunday and you just have to go and win the game and as fun as newcastle Newcastle are to watch at times, there is that real lack of control.

Speaker 6 And there's some limited players there, right? And you can't knock the limited players.

Speaker 6 They're playing slightly out position. They can only do what they can do.

Speaker 6 The problem Newcastle have is when their top-level players don't perform, which Anthony Gordon had another anonymous game last night. And there's been an argument for a while.

Speaker 6 He probably shouldn't play through the middle, but Nick Voltamada is so tired that he

Speaker 6 couldn't start another game. And Bruno Guimades was really poor with the ball last night.
He was trying to control it, but he was giving away passes.

Speaker 6 So yeah, that's absolutely what Newcastle would need to do.

Speaker 6 They spent two years trying to do it. And that's where, and I know people say, oh, Eddie Howe's done a brilliant job.
And he has. He will always be a legend.

Speaker 6 And I am not saying, I really am not saying Eddie Howe, his time is up at all. But he needs to find solutions.
There has to be... a way of getting control in games.

Speaker 6 And we go one-third up and we don't know what to do. But the number of leads we've lost, we then sit, we go, Dan Byrne said afterwards, basically it went to plan.

Speaker 6 So the plan was go get a goal and then just sit back on it. But it was so chaotic that like sit back on what I don't know.

Speaker 6 It was fun, it was really fun, but I don't think Hal, who's a bit of a control freak, would have enjoyed it at all.

Speaker 1 I love the way you talk about evolution of goalkeepers.

Speaker 1 The idea of the seven ages of man, the seven ages of goalkeeper with Fatty Falk there and Nick Pope somewhere just far too down the left before you get to you know your Edison's, you know, right on the right-hand side of that picture.

Speaker 1 Anyway, a heartbreak last for Bodo Glimpt losing in the last minute to you. They won the attack in injury time, weren't they? It was one of those last-minute winners they conceded.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so when they equalized for the 2-2

Speaker 3 right near the end on a penalty, the penalty taker immediately ran into the net to get the ball and sprint back to the center circle.

Speaker 3 We're going for it. We want to get the win.
And I remember thinking that, in one way, I love the attitude. I think that's great.
If you're a team from Norway and you've equalized against Juventus,

Speaker 3 Psychiatric also went, hang on here, lads,

Speaker 3 This is a point against Juventus, if you can take a couple of minutes off the clock here. And that's probably one more point than you were expecting against Juentis.

Speaker 3 So I think that kind of attitude and

Speaker 3 belief and optimism is part of the reason why Buddha Limited have done surprisingly well in Europe often and why they sometimes do surprise these teams because they're not cowed and they're not afraid and they do their own thing.

Speaker 3 But the reality is also they were second best in the second half here. They were very good in the first half.
In the second half, Ken On Yildis came on for Juventus Juventus and really changed things.

Speaker 3 He was very, very, very good. As you can tell,

Speaker 3 I started watching Chelsea Barcelona, but then with the red card and Chelsea being in the lead, I thought, oh, interesting things are happening in Norway. So I kind of pivoted to Buddha Glimps.

Speaker 3 And unfortunately, I pivoted just in time for Juventus to completely take over and be much the better team. Yildis, like I said, is a very, very good player.
And

Speaker 3 Buddha struggled to deal with him. And they were maybe a little fortunate, actually,

Speaker 3 to get to 2-2.

Speaker 3 But then they were attacking, like you said.

Speaker 3 They had a chance, and they felt they could have had a penalty in the box right towards the end. But instead, Juentas countered and made it a 3-2.

Speaker 3 You can never really say for a Norwegian team to not win against Juentas. It's disappointing.
But it is one of those late in the year. It's cold.
It's an unfamiliar surface.

Speaker 3 You've got all these little circumstances going your way, and you have the recipe there for a very special evening. And they weren't too far off it,

Speaker 3 but couldn't quite get there in the end. And in hindsight, it is possible that at 2-2, someone should have just sat on the ball and just kind of, yeah,

Speaker 3 we'll take those points. But there we are.
That was a very important win for Juventus. They only have six points after five games.

Speaker 3 Once tonight's game's finished, there's a very good chance they'll be outside of the qualification places.

Speaker 3 So if they hadn't snaffled those extra two points at the debt, they'd be in big trouble, I think.

Speaker 1 Barry, what about Napoli 2, Carabag Nil?

Speaker 1 Another good night for Scott McTominay, or as the Tanno man says, Scotto, and then waits for McTominay from the crowd.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he scored one. He had a big, big hand in Napoli second, which ended up, I think, I would imagine, being an own goal.

Speaker 3 And it was a kind of scissors kick

Speaker 3 from McTominay, which led to that own goal.

Speaker 3 He's getting a taste for those kind of acrobatics now. Napoli were totally dominant in this game, and the Carabag goalkeeper, a fellow called Kochalski,

Speaker 3 really helped keep the score down. He played very well, but

Speaker 3 another good performance from McTominay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Lars, Bruce and Dortmund, the highest scorers in the Champions League this season, which is weird because Dortmund are kind of

Speaker 3 they're doing reasonably well in the Bundesliga, but they're doing reasonably well in the sort of they've gone back to basics a little bit.

Speaker 3 Like they're not playing the sort of high octane high pressing thing that we obviously remember from the juggen klop or even even thomas tuchel uh days uh nico korbach's just kind of a little bit more of a sort of

Speaker 3 what's the phrase for that

Speaker 3 sort of yeah he's he's he's a coach who likes to get like the basics right first and foremost and uh daishian want to say daishian and maybe not that this is what i almost said and then i realized that's taking it a little far but it is yeah uh but they've they've gone to three at the back, and

Speaker 3 it's a proper three at the back as well with attacking fullbacks rather than wingers out wide. And they're trying to, let's be more solid.
There's been too much chaos at Dortmund the last few years.

Speaker 3 And they're quite solid. And they've got Adiemi and Girassi who are getting them goals up front.
But it's not always looked good in the Bundesliga.

Speaker 3 And there's the sense that they probably need to evolve if they're going to turn into a team that can challenge Bayer anytime soon.

Speaker 3 But then, like you say, the flip side of that is that they're absolutely banging them in in the Champions League, which is a little weird. Here, they were considerably better than

Speaker 3 VRL, I would say. But VRL, of course, had a had a had a red card as well with one voith who handled a goal-bound uh shot and had to go off.
And it made it fairly straightforward for Dortmund.

Speaker 3 But I'm just here to say, I guess, that they are maybe not quite as good as the results suggest, but they're quite solid and have a couple of forwards who are doing well.

Speaker 1 Ben Vica won two Nila. Ajax,

Speaker 1 Jose's first win at the group stage. Two brilliant goals, actually, and another defeat, Barry, for

Speaker 3 Ajax. Yeah, this is how the mighty have fallen Derby, I suppose.
Both of them going into this game with no points. Johnny Hettinger has

Speaker 3 sacked by Ajax a few weeks ago. One of their former goalkeepers, a Champions League winner with them, I think, a fellow called Fred Grimm, is in temporary charge.

Speaker 3 He learnt at the knee of Johan Crif and Louis van Gaal,

Speaker 3 but things aren't going well for him at Ajax. They're

Speaker 3 sixth in the Dutch league,

Speaker 3 14 points behind leaders PSV. They're closer to the bottom than they are the top.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 3 well, they won't qualify now. I mean, they weren't going to qualify anyway, but it's remarkable how bad they are.

Speaker 3 They have, I suppose their only plus point for them is they have a fellow called Rayne Boinida, a 19-year-old. He looked pretty impressive from what I saw of this game, which was most of it.

Speaker 3 He was one of the early kickoffs.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 3 Benfica now have three points on the board, but they're probably going to need 12 to qualify. That's what you needed to guarantee qualification for the knockouts last season.

Speaker 3 11 did it for one or two teams, but you 12 will probably definitely get you through. And their final three games are against Napoli, Juventus, and Real Madrid.
So good luck with that, Jose.

Speaker 1 Good luck, Jose. Union Sanjeev Wales won one at Galatas Roy, their first home defeat in 34 games.
And Slavia Prague 0, Athletic Club 0.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 1 the games tonight, Arsenal Bayern, PSG Spurs, Liverpool PSV, amongst others. We'll cover them on tomorrow's pod.
And that'll do for part two.

Speaker 1 Back in a second, where we'll talk about Man United Everton.

Speaker 9 Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start? Thumbtack knows home so you don't have to.

Speaker 9 Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro.
You just have to hire one.

Speaker 9 You can hire top-rated pros, see price estimates, and read reviews all on the app.

Speaker 3 Download today.

Speaker 2 Hey, Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy half-off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service.

Speaker 2 If Mint is still premium, unlimited wireless for a great price.

Speaker 3 So, that means a half day. Yeah?

Speaker 2 Give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.

Speaker 4 Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow under 35 gigabytes of networks busy.

Speaker 4 Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 3 See mintmobile.com.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly. I saw Monday night, Manchester United Neil Everton 1, which doesn't tell the entire story.

Speaker 1 I mean, we have to start, Sam, with Indrissa Gay being sent off for slapping Michael Keene in the face and David Moyes saying, do you know something? I quite like it when my players have a fight.

Speaker 1 I mean, obviously, I suspect he would have said something slightly different if United had romped to victory, but there we are.

Speaker 1 It was a very, it's happened before, obviously famously for Newcastle, a bit more fisticuffs than that.

Speaker 1 But it is always funny.

Speaker 6 I remember Paul Raynor being sent off for head-butting Mick Heathcote in a 6-0 defeat at griffin park for the ewes that was a disappointing moment um but yeah what a what a hilarious moment i think sam i mean yeah i'm sure david moys had the cameras panned him well they probably did he wasn't laughing at that point but yeah to go to old trafford with his history there and win despite that i think it's the first time a team's won in the premier league at old trafford with 10 men and they had 10 men for a long, long time, like a really long time.

Speaker 6 Like slapping.

Speaker 6 He has to get sent off under the laws of the game. But if you're going to go right, if you're going to get sent off for slapping your own teammate, at least leave a mark right.

Speaker 6 You just want to see Michael Keene with a big old red, you want the camera to pan in on one of those like red slap marks because it was just a little tickle.

Speaker 6 It's just madness, and yeah, of course, the natural ways of Newcastle fan and to most Premier League fans goes back to Kieran Dyer and Lee Bowyer probably scrapping back in, I think it's 04.

Speaker 6 People forget that game. It was also the game Stephen Taylor went went down.
He rolled around like an actor.

Speaker 3 Oh, really? Pretending he'd been

Speaker 1 a handball.

Speaker 6 He pretended he'd been shot in the face by the football. It's just hilarious.
But it's weird. To the date, that was a really unfortunate fortnight for Newcastle.

Speaker 6 Sheera was meant to retire at the end of that season. And the day before, he's announced a new contract.
And Newcastle have an FA Cup semi-final coming up.

Speaker 6 and a European UEFA Cup quarterfinal against Lisbon.

Speaker 6 And then so everyone's buzzing on that Friday. Saturday, those two idiots do that.
Stephen Taylor gets suspended. I think we lose the next three league games.
We did beat Lisbon at home at 1-0.

Speaker 6 Then Lauren Robert falls out with Graham Sunes on the coach about 10 days later. So he doesn't play in the second leg.
We get battered, I think, 4-1.

Speaker 6 And then we go, it was when the FA Cup was at Cardiff, and we basically lost to Manchester United 4-1.

Speaker 6 And Nikki Butt was at Newcastle at that point, and he spent about 20 minutes afterwards just going around applauding the Manchester United fans, which went down like an absolute sandwich, as you can imagine.

Speaker 6 I think he was on loan at Birmingham the following season quite swiftly. But yeah, so there's a warning for Everton fans, right?

Speaker 6 When your players have a fight with each other within the space of two weeks, things can really unravel.

Speaker 6 So I was going to say, I hope I don't that doesn't happen to them, but actually, I do because Newcastle will go to Everton on Saturday. But yeah, that could be the start, the sign of things to come.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it felt different last, didn't it, to that and to Batty and Lasseaux, which really felt like these are two that absolutely hate each other. This has been boiling up for years and years.

Speaker 1 Whereas Whereas you imagine Michael Keenan and Jose Garden Gay, probably,

Speaker 1 you know, in fact, what was really funny was David Moyes saying that Gay's teammates applauded when he stood in front of the group and apologized

Speaker 1 like a standing evasion.

Speaker 3 Yeah, again, again, probably not something that would have happened if they lost 4-0. So, I mean, there's an element of that in there.
But I, you know, I followed some of the

Speaker 3 discourse following this. And

Speaker 3 I understand, like, in terms of the laws of the game, they're completely unequivocal.

Speaker 3 Like, if you strike someone in the face off the ball, like, it doesn't matter if it's a teammate, it doesn't matter, like, once you do that, you're off.

Speaker 3 Like, there's no room for maneuver there at all.

Speaker 3 Uh, um, but I'm somewhat sympathetic to the voices, and many of them were ex-pros who I don't often agree with, who were saying, this is kind of like, do you need to take a guy off for this?

Speaker 3 Like, this is like almost like an internal squabble. It's not an egregious, violent act of horror that's occurred.
Is it really that much worse than someone just pushing him?

Speaker 3 Like, as Michael Keene just goes, because they were having a bit of an argument, and Keene just kind of pushed him to just nap off, like, go back into where you're supposed to stand.

Speaker 3 And he had a reaction and gave him a bit of a slap. Like, there's a big side of me that thinks maybe that you don't need to completely change

Speaker 3 the flow of the game for that. But then there is a more rational side of it that thinks, okay, one of the rules of this sport is that you have to go 90 minutes without slapping a co-worker.

Speaker 3 It feels like a bar you should be in most jobs. That's something you have to be able to do to function.

Speaker 3 like there are very few

Speaker 1 it's it's not completely unreasonable to ask them to be able to do that i mean i've seen boxers go several rounds without even laying a glove on their repo and that's what they're supposed to be doing in the workplace do you think we'd manage it because we're remote now i mean if we were in the same studio clearly there would have been a lot of slapping in this pod i don't know i feel like i've done a lot of shows in studios certainly with barry and at no point have we got come close to coming to blows there is a famous moment i think it's a guy called patrick kinghorn and tony cascarino on talk sport where they have a row and i think cass punches him it's all went out on air it's like an amazing sort of amazing moment in the history of that radio station but yeah as yet i've never felt the need to punch barry in the face during a broadcast um i mean what what that that

Speaker 1 that moment barry has kind of taken away from the fact that Manchester United lost this game and it kind of of all the balloons that have punctured the Man United are back.

Speaker 1 To be beaten at home by Everton, a 10-man Everton is just classic puncture balloon.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they were hopeless. I think the only manu player who emerges from that game with any sort of credit is Ahmed Diallo.

Speaker 3 The rest of them

Speaker 3 just didn't seem to know what to do when Everton went down to 10 men. Ruben Amerim,

Speaker 3 so they're playing a team reduced to 10 men with a striker who

Speaker 3 couldn't score in a knocking shop with a blank check. And they're still playing three at the back.
And no change.

Speaker 3 They bumble around ineffectively for the entirety of the game. Lose, deservedly so.
I think the only chances, no, Pickford did have to make some saves, but they were for pot shots from distance.

Speaker 3 He's well able for them.

Speaker 3 Ruben Amerim was questioned afterwards by a baffled press pack why didn't you do something change things around and i don't change things around this is this is what we are mate uh but in a portuguese accent and

Speaker 3 i don't think that's good enough really because if that's if you're determined to play that way and you can't beat 10 man everton at home then sorry but he seems to be have free reign to do what he wants from the club hierarchy i'm happy for him to stick around because i i like him i like listening to him and i like

Speaker 3 watching to see how much gas is in this particular explosion yeah i think and and everton deserve credit for digging in and and getting the win because as soon as united or as soon as they went down to 10 men i thought oh well that's it they're going to lose this game great goal from jewsby hall and pickford did make one i think one really good say from xerxy and as producer joel says like when pickford's having a good game he's really fun to watch isn't he?

Speaker 1 Do you like the idea that how many Everton players would have to beat each other up and get sent off from Ruben Amrim to go back with a back four and like put someone else up front? We don't know.

Speaker 1 Anyway, Elliot says, if I get told off at work, should I just try and book in a dinner with Donald Trump to make it all okay?

Speaker 1 So yes, shortly after meeting Donald Trump, Ronaldo's had his red card for the elbow on Dar O'Shea suspended for a year,

Speaker 1 meaning he'll be able to play at next summer's World Cup finals. Violent conduct normally carries a three-match ban.

Speaker 1 Ronaldo has had the second and third matches suspended after sitting out the game against Armenia.

Speaker 1 A FIFA statement said, if Cristiano Ronaldo commits another infringement of a similar nature and gravity during the probationary period, the suspension set out in the disciplinary decision shall be deemed automatically revoked and the remaining two matches must be served immediately.

Speaker 6 Massive lull, Lars.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's it is FIFA not fit for purpose,

Speaker 1 but also not great news for Portugal because they'd be better if he wasn't playing.

Speaker 3 Conclusion. Yeah, no, that's pretty much it.
It's pathetic, but it's what we expect from Gianni and Fantino's FIFA at this point.

Speaker 3 Just upholding the laws of the game would seem like, again, a very low bar for the sort of ruling authority of the game to do, but it's not something they've not managed to do because we must have Vegas Elvis at this event.

Speaker 3 It is odd because the trend seems to be with him at international tournaments that he'll score a couple in the group stage typically.

Speaker 3 And then when they come up against someone good the fact that they're effectively playing with 10 men it becomes a problem for portugal so at least he's there in the group stage to score a couple of goals past some kind of inferior opponent and then the question is then is it possible for for roberto martinez to drop him

Speaker 3 the issue i i honestly think on the issue of the this band being taken away I thought they were going to have to do something cleverer than that.

Speaker 3 I thought they were going to have to come up with some sort of general amnesty for all bands or something just to make it look like they weren't just doing this to get Ronaldo in.

Speaker 3 But this is, again, this is Jani's FIFA. They're quite brazen.
They're like, no, we just, we, we know what we saw, but you know, we want the, we want Vegas Elvis to be at the event.

Speaker 3 So there, there he is. And it's, yeah, it's, it's, it's not, I was going to say that it is remarkable, but it is not remarkable because this is what FIFA are now.

Speaker 6 There's a line in the FIFA statement, I think, that says, um, Ronaldo's good behavior in the, like, he's played 226 international games, and this is his first offense, so that was taken into account.

Speaker 6 Like, it's not a parole hearing, I just thought it was mandatory free game ban.

Speaker 6 Well, yeah, you haven't had a red card for you played international football for so long, like, it's just entirely predictable.

Speaker 1 Ronaldo sits in front of the parole committee, like Morgan Freeman in Shawshank, and just goes, bullshit, just sign your form, fella.

Speaker 3 And I'll take it

Speaker 1 together, and they go, hey, sustained, off you go.

Speaker 1 You can go and meet the rest of your squad, you know, polishing a boat in Mexico I mean it's just so totally but the statement is so like officious isn't it to show how really angry they are the thought that Cristiano Ronaldo now has to walk around if he touches anything with his elbow for the next year he's banned for the next two games he sort of straps himself in a straitjacket so he can't it's absolutely ridiculous it does it's funny I mean the brazenness of it is funny But it sets a dangerous precedent.

Speaker 3 So what if someone gets a red card in a semifinal that they deserve in a World Cup semi-final, a star player?

Speaker 3 Does he get an amnesty? Does he get a reprieve? Yeah, it's not surprising. And I think everyone finds it amusing because it'll be so obviously detrimental to Portugal.

Speaker 3 Roberto Martinez is probably going, fuck's sake.

Speaker 1 But also, there are these playoffs in UEFA, and that's sort of the, you know, the Confederations one, right?

Speaker 1 Someone may get sent off, well, a Wales player or an Italian or whoever, and then suddenly they go oh well hang on i want a suspended sentence please it does you know so you're right i mean i agree it is simultaneously funny and an just the sign of just how not fit for purpose fee for our for so many reasons should we talk about uh in the box we didn't talk about it on monday so scottie sports who did halo which we haven't really spoken about because it launched and then died sort of between a thursday and a monday pod which was a sort of social account aimed for female fans but it was mocked for being very patronizing.

Speaker 1 In the box, it was launched in the North London Derby for celebrity Arsenal and Spurs fans, including Gary Lineker. I saw Ozzie Ardelez and Michael McIntyre, but I didn't see Lineker there.

Speaker 1 I didn't watch a lot of it. And the idea being, they're four Tottenham fans on one side and four Arsenal fans on the other.
We haven't discerned who the Arsenal fans are.

Speaker 1 There was an old woman and some YouTubers, a YouTuber called Chris MD, who's probably incredibly famous.

Speaker 3 Why are you presuming the old woman wasn't a YouTuber? Well, that's very ageist of you, man.

Speaker 1 I had her as a Redditor, you know, but anyway,

Speaker 1 or a Facebook star. I don't know.
But they're shown highlights from the game, but not the result, right?

Speaker 1 And then the result just comes on at the end. So, I mean, for a star, how do you show those highlights in any way which is going to lead to any surprise? That game between Arsenal and Tonom.

Speaker 1 We're talking about an XG of 0.01. What could you possibly show to make anyone think that Arsenal haven't won that game?

Speaker 1 But this is odd. I mean, we are not the target market, but neither is that really old woman and Carrie Lineker.

Speaker 3 Or maybe they are.

Speaker 3 What is the target market for this? Who is this for? Well, I think it was on YouTube. It was free to air.
It's fine. I have no great objections to Sky putting this on, but I'm presuming.

Speaker 3 And I could be wrong that

Speaker 3 all these people,

Speaker 3 or at least some of these these people, were very well paid for their time.

Speaker 3 We want you to not watch the game.

Speaker 3 What's his name? McIntyre and Lineker. That's A-lis, top-tier celebrity.

Speaker 1 That is tens of thousands of pounds. That would have cost, yeah, tens of thousands of pounds to get them.

Speaker 3 And while I don't want to sound like one of those license payers who thinks because I pay for a TV license, that it allows me to dictate the entire television schedule.

Speaker 3 But Sky Sports subscriptions are incredibly expensive and they're going up and up and up and up. And

Speaker 3 just

Speaker 3 to be paid for this shite,

Speaker 3 I do feel a slight sense of grievance.

Speaker 1 The question is: does it make any difference? Does it make any difference? Because obviously, whenever Michael McIntyre is in the crowd at Spurs, you get cutaways.

Speaker 1 So you can see what Michael McIntyre looks like when he can see the game. Does it make any difference when you can see what Michael McIntyre looks like when he can't see what's happening in the game?

Speaker 6 If it's on YouTube, isn't it free anyway? So they're shelling out and we're paying a subscription fee and it's not even exclusive content to me as a Sky Sports subscriber.

Speaker 6 They used to, do you remember back? Was it back in the 90s? They did like fan zone commentary. They used to have two fans in a box doing it.
That was fun.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that was fun.

Speaker 6 This doesn't sound like it.

Speaker 3 I've not seen it. It really wasn't.

Speaker 1 I didn't love it, but I didn't love it, but it had a sort of cachet. It has a nostalgia to it now.
And it has the famous, you know, Tim Lovejoy did it when Ray Parla in the FA Cup final game.

Speaker 1 It's only Ray Parla, you know, and then he put it in the top corner.

Speaker 3 So as a concept, it reminds me a little bit of the scene in the thick of it when they're in the back of the taxi and they have to think of some kind of policy they can put out that will be popular, that won't really cost anything and that won't really achieve anything.

Speaker 3 They just need to put some kind of policy out there. And I just feel like put celebrities in a room and don't show them the game feels like

Speaker 3 we really have gone through a lot of like I as someone who's trying to make a living in this sort of industry, I'm entirely in favor of broadcasters just putting any old shit together and just paying people to do it.

Speaker 3 Like, I mean,

Speaker 3 I'm available to be in the box, guys. Like,

Speaker 3 if you I'm not gonna knock it, but just as a concept, how far down the list of ideas were you when you arrived at put people in a room and don't show them the game?

Speaker 3 What were the ideas we decided to not do?

Speaker 1 Actually, just for the record, you know, if ever I make a triumphant return to the UK and Sky Need a Host,

Speaker 3 I'm very much available. I am also available to be in the box, having just disparaged the box to within an inch of its life if I'm getting Macinty money.

Speaker 1 There are many football matches, Barry, that you actually don't want to see, aren't there?

Speaker 1 You can give them a whole list of games to say, these are all the games I don't want to see. Put me in a box, please.

Speaker 3 You don't even need to tell me the score.

Speaker 1 I don't need to know the score.

Speaker 3 Once the game is over,

Speaker 3 don't tell me the score and just open the box and I'll leave. I'll be fine.

Speaker 3 Or else, show me the score. I'll just shrug my shoulders and leave.

Speaker 1 Anyway, that'll do for today.

Speaker 1 Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Sam.

Speaker 6 Oh, you're welcome. Thanks, Max.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Lars.

Speaker 3 I think this is what we've needed for the Football weekly TikTok to really take off. It's Barry in a box not watching football.
Just get the clips out there. I believe.
Sounds idyllic.

Speaker 3 Would I have a book? A good book.

Speaker 3 I mean, I've got many suggestions.

Speaker 3 Or a gimmick box set.

Speaker 1 What did you think of the game, Barry? And he just says, I don't know. I was in a box.

Speaker 3 Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 Also on the panel, John Bruin. Anyway, right, that'll do it for today.
I've already said that. Thanks, everybody.
Thank you, Barry. Thanks.
Football Weekly is produced by Joel Grove.

Speaker 1 Our executive producer is Danielle Stevens. We'll be back tomorrow.

Speaker 1 This is The Guardian.

Speaker 8 Hi, folks. It's Mark Bittman from the podcast, Food with Mark Bittman.

Speaker 8 You know, whether you are doing traditional Thanksgiving, a friend's giving, or something in between, Whole Foods Market has great everyday prices on all the things you need for Thanksgiving.

Speaker 8 No way antibiotics ever birds bring quality to your table at a great price. You can enjoy so many ways to save on your Thanksgiving spread at Whole Foods Market.

Speaker 8 And remember, Prime gives you shop online and delivery or pickup as you like.

Speaker 10 When you think of skyrocketing brands like Aloe, Allbirds, or Skims, it's easy to credit their success to great products, sleek branding, and brilliant marketing.

Speaker 10 But here's the overlooked secret: the real magic lies in the engine behind the scenes, the business powering their business.

Speaker 10 For millions of brands, that engine is Shopify, making selling seamless for them and shopping effortless for us. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Aloe Yoga uses.

Speaker 10 Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash retail, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash retail to upgrade your selling today, today.
Shopify.com/slash retail.