The Grey
Tune in next week when our movie will be... Sharknado.
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Transcript
This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asked the question, why pay 20 bucks to a movie theater to see Liam Neeson in the naked gun when you can go online for free and watch him in a movie that may not make you laugh, but will make you sad and think about death?
And that's okay, because maybe it's just good to feel something, anything, you know?
I mean, what with the way things are going?
You know what I mean.
It's like, just turn on the news.
Yikes.
I'm Jordan Morris.
Fuck, and I'm Emily Fleming.
Today's movie is The Gray, the Liam Neeson wolf-punching movie that contains absolutely no wolf punching.
With us, as always, is the super producer, the He Freak, the Alpha of RPAC.
Matt Lee hitting this with those sub-zero drops.
Oh, fuck!
Sorry, that was my favorite part.
At one point, he sees his friend getting eaten by a wolf, and Liam Neeson, Academy Award winner Liam Neeson, turns around and goes, Oh, fuck!
The same reaction if you notice, you leave the the oven on.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Same reaction to biting into a mozzarella stick that's too hot.
Right.
We are going to talk about the gray,
partially because it's Animal Attack August AAA.
I think there's a sting for this now.
Yeah.
Animal Attack August.
Oh, fuck!
Yeah, I should have added the all fuck.
Well, it's Animals Attack August, the month where we celebrate movies about animals absolutely fucking up humans.
And we're going to talk about The Gray, perhaps the most austere, serious animal attack movie ever made.
But first, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.
Hey, I think it's time for another round of what's Matthew McConaughey talking about?
The only game show where we play clips from Matthew McConaughey's social media and try and guess what the fuck he's talking about.
Hell yeah.
Okay,
as the guy here, the most obsessed with Matthew McConaughey's social media,
I will say that he is on one recently.
Posted up a storm,
lots of tidbits, lots of mind-blowing philosophy because he has a new book coming out.
It's called Poems and Prayers.
Poems and Prayers.
And the website to see the book is poemsprayers.com.
But if you just look at it, it looks like it's poemsprayers.com.
Back up, Matthew's got the poem hose.
He's going to blast us with wisdom.
Open up, get ready to get soaked by poems.
You're going to get sprayed by some prose and you're going to get sprayed by some rhymes.
God, we got to get this guy a job so he can shut the fuck up.
So Matthew Bocata has a new book of homespun wisdom coming out.
He's posting a lot of musings,
a lot of, you know, just
word salad thought explosions
that sound good because he's so confident but mean absolutely nothing.
So what we're going to do is we're going to play a new clip for Matthew McConney's social media, and we're going to have to try and discern what he's talking about.
Being selfish is not a contradiction to being selfless either.
I mean,
look at every major religion: the divine promise of nirvana, the kingdom of heaven, paradise,
where all believers want and hope to go.
And since getting there or not depends on our actions in this life to some extent, isn't acting in accordance with the selfless teachings ultimately the most selfish endeavor that we can have?
All right, so what's Matthew McConaughey talking about?
All right, who's going first?
Emily is, for those of you listening to this podcast, which is everyone, Emily is making a stab myself in the face with scissors motion.
I think, number one, he's definitely going to hell just for that.
If hell exists, all of that and the website.
Oh, man, I'm in hell.
Bummer, dude.
Bummer, dude.
I should have rolled a sweet 10, though.
On the other one.
But when you're getting fucked in the the ass with a pitchfork it's kind of like
it's like when my daddy would put me on a bale of hay and give me a sip of corn whiskey and tell me every day is a sunshine day when you're with a horse it's what is he
it's like bro just just be a rapper I know you want to.
Just be a rapper.
He totally wants to.
He wants to be a SoundCloud rapper so bad, but he's.
He can do it.
I mean, he could do whatever he wants.
Put this to a beat and be that guy who's like always wear sunscreen remember that song yeah he can just be that guy
graduations exactly and but here's what i think he's trying he's doing a joel austeen kind of thing yes where he's justifying consumerism and selfishness as maybe it is spiritual to be a selfish piece of shit
And being selfish is selfless.
And it's like, okay, are you trying to do the thing where it's like, put the mask on yourself before the infant in a plane.
Is that what you're trying to do?
Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure.
I got you.
I got you.
Yeah, I don't know what he's trying to do, but you're already in Nirvana, sir.
You're wealthy and you have a hot wife, and you should not be talking to anyone about
going to heaven or hell.
Yeah, I don't know.
If you're feeling down, just do what I do and create your own tequila brand.
I know, but I think it's very interesting that he believes in hell.
I think that he just doesn't seem like a dude who would believe in hell.
I wonder who he thinks is in hell.
Probably people who are bummers, probably buzzkills.
Probably the guy who put up the first guy to put up a sign that says no shirt, no shoes, no service.
Yes.
That motherfucker's roasting in hell.
Yeah.
Whoever invented putting clothes on.
Yeah.
Well, Emily, I think that's a good guess, but of course, no one can ever win the game.
What is Matthew McConaughey talking about?
Do you have a theory?
I do have a theory.
Yes.
Keep in mind, you can't win the game.
It's impossible to win.
I can, I think I can win this one.
Okay, okay.
Um, what he's actually talking about, he's doing the thing where everyone loses.
I will say,
well, yeah, no, we're losing right now, not just the game, but listeners and our souls a little bit.
Um, I think he's, I agree, he's doing the thing where he's justifying selfishness as like, well, if you think about it, trying to be good is also selfish because you have the promise of heaven.
Um, but I more importantly, what he's doing is he's seeing that two words are similar and he's going like, what if I try to
juxtapose them and make them both
interesting in comparison to each other?
Which is something that
is like...
a few degrees away from dude who's really into numerology.
You know what I mean?
Where you just are like, everywhere I go, I see the number 13 type thing.
And it's like, this is, there's, eventually we're going to get like Matthew McConaughey like bus stop psychosis where he's just going to be yelling in the middle of the street about how two words kind of the same.
Are you saying that Matthew McConaughey is cute?
I'm saying that he, if he
had not, wouldn't be the biggest surprise.
Would that shock you?
Like if he had not been discovered for being hot at a grocery store or whatever, he absolutely would have been there on January 6th.
100% would be January 6th guy.
He would be going to Nancy Pelosi's office and looking for the files.
I'm pretty sure he's drank RFK's piss.
100%.
But he's mixed it with a little of his own tequila brand.
That's right.
God bless him.
Tequila.
Those words sound similar.
See, anybody can do it.
Anybody can do it.
Well, hey, if you want to know more about what Matthew Buccaneer thinks about things, go to poemsprayers.com and let him spray some poems at you.
Yeah, it's Animal Attack August.
We're going to talk about the gray.
But before we do, we want to let you know it deals with suicide.
So if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, we're going to play some music and give you a chance to find another episode.
We're back.
It's free with ads.
It's Animals Attack August.
We're talking about the gray.
Let's go around the horn.
Matt, I think this was a you suggestion.
Are you a fan of this movie?
No, I've never seen this movie, but it's one of those movies where I had seen the trailer.
I love the poster.
And I was like, Liam Neeson in a movie about attacking wolves.
Right.
Sign me up.
And not only that, but I knew it was well-reviewed.
So I was like, how come I haven't seen this incredibly well-reviewed wolf attack movie?
And
I'm glad I did.
But also, I think it should be illegal to make trailers for movies that do not
showcase what the movie is actually about.
Sure.
Yeah.
Hard to talk about this movie without talking about its trailer, which I think is like its legacy.
Its legacy is like one of the most misleading trailers of all time.
It's crazy.
Emily, had you seen this one going into it?
I've not seen the trailer, and I had not seen the movie.
Oh, okay.
So I did see this movie in theaters.
I am so all in on this flavor of Liam Neeson.
I'm all in on the guy, period.
Did everybody see Naked Gun?
No, I still have that.
That's great.
I'm going tomorrow.
I'm going tomorrow.
That's awesome.
And he's hilarious in it.
Love this guy.
I'm surprised it's the first Liam Neeson movie we've done on this show.
The Three With Ads Verse is like fucking choked with these movies of him punching Russians in the throat.
Oh, yeah.
He's like the opposite of Matthew McConaughey.
Do you think he's the yin to the yang?
Maybe.
Yeah.
He's like, he would never write a book.
He would instead punch a crook.
You know?
Sure, there you go.
Those rhymes.
When you could be writing books, you should be punching crooks.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Matt, you just sprayed us with a little poem there.
Hey, who makes
my eyes?
Yeah.
I got it all up in your face.
Don't get the poems in my hair.
You can wash it off with some water.
Anyway, poem on my tits.
Whatever.
You can just say anything if you want to on a podcast.
Anyway, so yes, I like, I fucking loved Taken.
I was like, so all about Taken.
And when this movie came out, the trailer of the movie is basically that last shot.
The trailer is the last 20 seconds of the movie where he fucking breaks the little airplane bottles and makes them into Wolverine claws.
Yeah.
And then tapes that bowie knife to his hand and runs at the wolf.
And
if you're just looking at the trailer, you'd be like, holy shit, this is the movie.
Yes.
When the movie is people wondering whether or not God is real.
Yep.
Whole movie is about whether or not God exists.
And the answer is no.
I think
this is annihilation for bros.
Yes, dude.
This, I mean,
I don't think I've seen a movie this like nihilistic and depressing
in this era before.
Like this era of movies was.
2011.
Everything was so hopeful.
Yeah.
We had Obama.
Yes, exactly.
And so like people weren't ready for this shit.
I think this is the action movie for 2025.
Yes.
Just keep going.
Break the bottles.
Run at the wolf.
I don't know.
Keep going.
Do you want to know something really crazy is I've been bummed out.
Like, I don't, you go through waves lately about everything that's going on of like, all right, I got to stay positive to keep and then you go into a little ditch.
This movie cheered me the fuck up.
Like I got, I watched this movie and then I was like, I feel things and at least I'm not getting eaten by fucking wolves.
Yeah.
Let's go to work.
It does like the movie, the movie has a just like, just keep going no matter what message
that is like weirdly hopeful, but also 10 of the most depressing things you've ever seen in a movie happen in this movie.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's like a movie from the 70s, just kind of like superimposed into like 2011 and also an Animal's Attack movie.
And they sold this as like a block button.
Like, this is not an Oscar bait movie.
This is like, come see the guy from Take and Punch, a wolf.
Yeah.
You're right.
This does, to me, this is an Oscar-worthy movie, in my opinion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And all of the performances in this movie are above and beyond.
It makes like, totally.
Like, I knew that I was not,
you know, that I was, you know,
promised something else that was not going to be delivered like 10 minutes into the movie.
When I was like, why is he acting so good?
Yeah.
I was like, it shouldn't be this good.
Atmosphere.
There's a couple of comforting things about this movie.
A, like, I just love a, like, I think that Liam Neeson is the pinnacle of masculinity in a movie.
Like, he's, he's like comforting, he's like tough and all that.
But there's a scene where he helps a man die at the very beginning.
Yeah.
And
it looked so nice.
Yeah.
He kind of sold me on Donald.
We should all be so lucky.
I know.
I was like, I hope I die in a plane with Liam Neeson.
And then he's just telling me it's going to feel warm right before it happens.
And I'm like,
and then him going, it's okay.
It's okay.
It's supposed to be like this.
It's okay.
And it's like, this is the epitome of it's not okay.
But it was okay.
I loved it.
But yeah,
the opening shot, the music is cool immediately.
And the bar that he's in, immediately love it.
Yeah.
Let's talk about the movie.
So yeah, we open the room.
Let's talk about the gray.
And I just want to play this just to get ready.
What do you got?
Gray.
I don't recognize that.
That's the last bar of A Kiss from a rose.
Seal, Kiss from a Rose.
Is that what he's saying?
The gray at the end of the day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A light hits the bloom on the gray.
I thought he was saying grain.
Yeah, well, it could be.
It doesn't really matter.
Yeah.
I mean, Seal, we all know, was a wheat farmer before.
It made me think about Fields of Gold Sting, another one of our favorite artists, who we have not referenced, Desert Rose, in a very long time.
It's been a while.
We've grown up as a podcast.
Yeah, we do.
Oh, my God.
Dude, dude, there's a parallel there.
So desert rose and kiss from a rose.
All right, McConaughey.
Time is a flat circle.
So a dull circle.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, go ahead.
Quick, drink some of RFK's piss.
So, yeah, we got some mountains.
We got some Howland Wolves.
Liam Neeson, we hear in voiceover talking about how he's got a job at the top of the world.
He's the killer for a petroleum company.
So there's this gas company kind of
fracking the mountains.
And Liam Neeson is a sniper who kills wolves so they can't attack the guys working on this in this factory.
And yes, Emily, I wrote down, oh my God, this bar.
There is a like bar.
You know, they live in a little company town on the, you know, the refinery base or whatever.
And there's a little bar that's playing fucking metal.
And everyone's fighting.
Everyone's just fighting as soon as he walks in.
Yeah.
I mean, how bad did you want to hang out in this bar?
I'm starting to think that the real wolves are the humans.
Interesting.
Is man the real monster?
Is man real monster?
Is wolf real man?
I don't think that they seem like monsters to the wolves.
Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not just the wolves.
Wolves to eat.
Just little sandwiches.
Just stuff to fuck with.
Little sandwiches.
So,
sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to stop the puns eventually.
It's Makanah.
Let's keep it going.
I know.
We listened to 40 seconds of McConaughey, and now we're inspired.
My brain is fucked.
I've got that worm in my brain.
Like RFK.
Oh, yeah.
Where are we going to find another worm for that guy?
We got to find more worms.
Let's get the guy a worm.
So
he's just kind of drinking alone in this bar.
He, you know, thinks everybody around him is a shithead.
And we learned that this voiceover, God, I mean, the movie just gets so depressing so quick.
Right on.
We learned that this voiceover is a suicide note.
It's a suicide note that he's writing to his dead wife.
And so he's, you know, just this lonely man up on top of this mountain shooting wolves.
There's a little scene of him comforting a wolf that he has just shot.
So he's comforting this wolf.
He's writing this suicide note.
He keeps repeating the phrase, live and die on this day, live and die on this day.
And
we see a scene of him like putting a gun in his mouth, but he can't do it.
He hears a wolf.
He hears like a wolf off in the distance and that stops him.
There's a deleted scene to this movie where that's a bear that stops him.
Oh, shit.
I'm glad they deleted that because
why are you going to add a bear?
There's no more bears.
Yeah, exactly.
It's a wolf movie.
You can't have a bear in a wolf movie.
Yeah, for real, though, why weren't there?
Can bears not survive in that kind of icy wilderness where the wolves are not.
I think they just decided to keep it all wolves all the time.
Whoops, all wolves.
I wanted to see a bear fuck up a wolf.
Somebody needed a bear attack.
I'd also see a bear attack movie.
By the way, we're not going going to watch The Revenant on Animals Attack August.
I'm good on that.
You guys want to watch The Edge?
I kind of want to watch The Edge.
What's The Edge?
Ooh, that is a David Mammet bear attack movie starring Alec Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins.
David Mammot, the playwright?
The playwright.
Oh.
He also write movie.
He also wrote movies.
And had bad take.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, he mostly had bad take, but he was more of a bad face guy before he wrote bear face.
Yeah, yeah.
He used to write bear movies and movies about the leads.
Yeah, the leads,
Glengarry leads, various heists.
Anyway.
Who told you you could work with men?
That's what it's from the movie.
Very Mammothy.
Good Mammoth delivery.
Thank you.
So Mammedy.
He gets on the plane with a bunch of his, you know, the kind of the dumb guys he works with.
There is a guy getting on the plane that has kind of a checkered beanie that looks like
blanket you would use for a picnic.
I think this is the worst hat.
Oh.
The worst hat.
And wouldn't you know it, the plane goes fucking down.
While the plane is going down, I just wrote down, ooh, Liam Neeson's got a great sweater.
It's this great cable-knit sweater.
He does.
That is a good sweater.
Does he get a good look at it as the plane's going down?
Yeah, yeah.
He looks so warm.
Yeah, he does look very warm.
so and then like before it crashes there's this great shot of like him in bed with his wife
and then it kind of like jolts and it he's in the snow and his wife kind of disappears it's like an 824 movie that was amazing there's so much like arty shit in this movie that i think works really well dude it was it's very dreamlike and i think it does a good job of feeling like what a near-death experience would actually maybe be like to your brain yeah yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of the like cutting back and forth between like sort of
a dissociative thought or memory and back into the like harsh, awful, evil reality that they are currently in.
Will say this:
his memories of his wife's giant, his wife's giant diamond earrings
gonna need those.
Well, she done need them.
Yeah, was she buried with those?
Where'd I rob that grave?
Where's that grave at?
That's the sequel to this movie.
The grave.
Robbie's
grave.
The grave part two, the grave.
Yeah, I somehow have the wallet to go and like leave at her grave.
Well, I should probably have to go.
I mean, if we were collecting the wallets, we've got to collect the jewelry, too, right?
I think so.
Yeah, also, we got to get these men better wallets.
Like, it's all like the black Velcro wallets.
Yeah.
I'm surprised none of them had a chain wallet.
There's a couple people who seem like they have
it.
Oh, no.
Brian Setzer was killed in the plane crash.
A stray cat died here.
Oh, yeah.
A stray cat versus a wolf.
The battle is old as time itself.
Sure.
Anyway.
That's what the song sounds like.
So
they're kind of gathering up all the survivors after the plane crash.
Yes.
Emily, you mentioned he helps a guy die.
And William Neeson's acting is so beautiful in this.
They're so close on his face throughout this whole movie.
And it's just like a lot of face acting.
He's so good at it.
Um, yeah, everyone and cry during that scene, yes.
I was, I filmed myself crying and posted it on Instagram, and this was the scene.
I was like, Holy shit, is this movie gonna be like this the whole way?
Yes, it is, it'll get worse too.
Yeah, no, and yeah, he's like, He's like, Who do you love?
And she's like, He's like, Rosie, he's like, Is that your girl?
Let her take you then.
Let her take you.
I love that he's talking with his Irish accent.
Yeah, like his goofy American accent, I really like making fun of because it's so bad.
But like, I love that they're just letting him go like full, full Irish.
Full Dublin in this.
Yeah.
He has a charming Irish.
It's not very thick.
It's kind of like my southern accent.
It comes and goes.
Yeah.
He has a very light Irish accent.
Very light.
Let her take you.
Let her take you to the crib.
Let her take you.
You're going to feel warmness swash all over you.
Did you guys notice that all of them had daughters?
I'm sorry, yes.
They did have daughters.
All of them had daughters.
I'm like, y'all can't make sons.
Your cum is weird.
Yeah.
No, I get it.
This is a very like, you know, and I think this is a very like,
you know, like
movie to make like normies cry because
they're all dads.
Like, no one is not a dad.
And, you know, the other guys in this movie, like, I like this movie a lot, but there's like a lot you can criticize about it.
Oh, absolutely.
Like, all the guys in this movie are so interchangeable basically and there's usually just dads with daughters dads with daughters it's sad when a dad you know and they don't really have a lot of character other than that no and and in fact they are so interchangeable that uh i
a few times i thought a guy died like three times like i swear i was like oh that guy finally died
and then it wasn't him it was just some other guy
i thought the guy who died in liam neeson's arms was the guy, the skinny blonde guy who was saying, Don't hold your head when you're going down a plane crash.
Don't crouch down because your skull will get bashed in.
Yeah.
And I was like, Oh, that's the guy.
And then he was there.
I was like, Who's this other?
Whatever.
Who died?
I just, every time someone died, I said, Wait, who died?
And then I said, It doesn't matter.
Wolves
are about to get punched.
Don't you, don't you think it's weird that I guess for normies that having a daughter is somehow more moving than having a son.
Like, why is that?
Because
it's weird.
Because have you ever had, but have you ever, like, hung out with me?
You're a girl, dad.
Can you
as a girl, as the resident girl, dad?
As a resident girl, dad, I, like, prayed for a girl because I've just known too many piece of shit little boys.
And, like, if you're having like the memory that one of them has, like, as he's dying and is like, I remember my daughter, like, putting her hair on my face.
And then, of, you know, cut to,
he's get eaten by a bunch of dogs my god
my god it's so funny i knew it was gonna happen too i was like he's being eaten by wolves but uh like that is a memory you could only have with a sweet adorable little girl yeah little boys it's like what i love sniffing his head right what what are the little boys memories gonna be oh i remember him you know waking me up by like putting legos in my mouth and he threw he threw a switch controller at me yeah exactly he yelled at me and he he called me some sort of slur he made up.
Little boys are monsters, whereas little girls are wonderful angels.
And I set my shoe on fire because I wouldn't let him play Fortnite.
Exactly.
Also, it's like, Matt, people will be so much more sad if you die.
Exactly.
That's the other reason I wanted a girl.
It's like, oh, no.
Everyone will cry
if a girl dad dies.
Not a boy dad.
A boy dad dying is just a failure of a dad.
A girl dad dying is a tragedy.
You understand?
Yep, yep.
So yeah,
not a lot of women in this movie.
You have the
daughters that we basically see in wallet photos.
You have the
some of the wolves, I'm assuming.
Some of the wolves, yeah, you know,
wolves are nature's girl bosses.
Absolutely.
I've always said that.
But you have the stewardess on the plane, who is the first person we see getting eaten by wolves.
They try and save her.
She's getting eaten by wolves.
Oh, fuck.
There's wolves on this mountain.
So, yeah, they, um,
they, uh, the wolves, like, they say, like, oh, Liam Neeson just knows all about him because he hunts them.
So, he, he's like, they're man-eaters.
They smell blood.
We got to get out of here.
Um, so, yeah, we have a guy who kind of goes off to pee.
He gets eaten by a wolf.
Um,
and then so they like kind of they go out to like, they're like, they see some trees off in the distance.
So, Liam Neeson's like, if we get to these trees, maybe we can, like, make a stand, maybe we can be safe.
Um, this guy's like praying to God.
So, you know, there's a lot of like, does God exist stuff here?
Some guys are like, he does exist.
Some guys are like, you know, he's a fairy tale.
There's a guy who's like, thank you for sparing us.
Keep that up if you can.
Lots of just fucking great lines in this movie.
Meanwhile, there's one character
in this who just serves as the heel, but for kind of no reason.
He felt like a studio note character.
Like, you need a guy who's like just not a team player.
And as I'm watching it, I'm like, yeah but why is he not a team player there's no yeah again you don't learn anything about anyone basically this this guy's Frank Grillo the actor Frank Grillo he's the kind of just like guy who's just a problem for a lot of movies he spends the most of the movie just whenever Liam Neeson has got a plan for how to deal with the wolves who by the way Liam Neeson professional wolf dealer guy you know yeah the fact that someone is like why are we listening to this guy yeah I don't know this is kind of his whole thing
and he spends most of the movie just going, oh, so I guess you're the leader of us.
And it's like, well, he is the only guy who kills wolves for a living.
Can't you hear his accent?
He sounds so great.
He's very tough.
It is so.
Also, the tallest guy.
He is the tallest guy.
He is the tallest guy.
Tallest guy.
Liam Neeson.
He's the biggest, the strongest, the tallest, the hottest.
It's true, but it's also like, I think that there's a scene where Liam Neeson's character calls that guy out really well.
He goes, you're afraid.
Yeah.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
And it's like, sometimes I think people who are afraid lash out and
control, even though they don't know how to assert control.
And so he just needed to lash out.
And Liam Neeson, like, knew that.
Right.
God, I love that man.
I want him to be my father and like my husband.
Husband, father.
Husband, father.
I'll be Mormon for Liam Neeson.
I don't know what it is, but I just want him to kill
Oh, I do want him to kill him.
And to tell you, like, it's okay.
Yeah, no, right.
I mean, I want him to talk me to death.
He's just like.
Could you imagine being like surrounded by hot men?
Like, is it Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney?
I was like, one of those, him in glasses, hubba, hubba.
And then also Liam Neeson, like going, it's okay, it's okay.
And going to
die?
It's okay.
It kind of, this movie made me go, because I've been very scared of death lately.
I don't know why.
Well, in the past, I've kind of like, did I lock my door tonight when I'm in bed?
And then sometimes I'm like, oh, who gives a shit?
Who cares?
Take me.
I'd be like, just fucking break in.
I don't give a fuck.
But now I'm like, no, I want to be.
I really want to be alive.
I think it's coming with age.
I want to be alive.
It's like, it's age.
I have confirmed with IMDB because I did not know either.
And I believe that is Dermot Mulrooney.
Okay, great.
Dermot Mulrooney.
Yeah, but I think that it was, he's so right that that guy is just very scared and wants to have control, but he has no control over where they're going.
But I think there's also a parallel with pack, like, you know, there's a pack of wolves, and here's a pack of men.
And there's probably a challenger to somebody in the pack, which the alpha male wolf thing is not real.
That's been like disproven.
Right.
Yes.
We do have a, you know, quote, like alpha male in this movie.
That's what our expert Liam Neeson says, which I think for this movie,
which didn't happen in real life, I'll just accept it.
Yeah, I think probably maybe this movie drives wolf scientists insane.
100%.
And hey, if you're out there and you're a wolf scientist,
we don't want to hear from you.
We don't care.
We don't want to know why it doesn't matter.
Okay.
Maybe I'm not.
I might be.
Well, here's the other thing that's interesting.
In the 90s,
do you remember that there were just fuck tons of wolf movies?
Like White Fang,
We had so many.
I was a huge White Fang fan.
I had like tons of wolf, like stuffed animals and toys.
I really liked wolves.
And they always seemed like, you know, they're the original dogs, like, and humans befriended them.
And this movie is like, fuck the 90s.
I will eat the 90s wolf movies to death.
Like, it's crazy to me.
Yeah.
If you say, go on, get out of here, they don't just run off sadly.
Yeah, yeah.
Ethan Hawk would die so fast in this movie.
I would have tried
Bad Dog just to see.
If one of them was like, oh, shit.
Just throw a stick.
Hurt my feelings.
Spray him with a spray bottle.
It's more cats, I guess.
Get off the couch.
Call Caesar Milan.
Rub his nose in his own shit.
Yes.
Leave it.
Leave it.
Leave it.
a hand.
So the wolves are just like fucking people up left and right.
They make these cool like spears out of shotgun shells.
Those are kind of cool.
Liam Nisa kind of rigs up all these weapons.
It's really neat.
And yeah, so you know, people kind of just start dying.
We learn that the live and die on this day that we heard in his suicide note is from a poem his dad wrote.
There's some like little flashbacks of him and his dad.
Oh, his dad is Matthew McConaughey.
Yeah, I know, right?
Yeah, he got a poem sprayed on him at a young age.
My father used to spray poems in my face.
He was made from the spray.
And then we all come from spray.
I talked him to death, as I do.
I tell people that are going to die, and it sounds like a good idea coming from me.
Life isn't great, anyways.
It ain't like it's a bowl of lucky charves.
How dare you?
Sorry.
To all of our Irish listeners, I'm so sorry.
That's all you sound like to us.
Sound off on Reddit.
Irish listener, honestly.
I'm curious.
So people are just dying.
You know, it's not all wolves.
A guy like freezes during the night, and that's really sad.
Oh, that was really sad.
And they start to find evidence of people.
They see a tree that had been clearly cut down.
It was like marked by a logging company or something.
So they kind of think they're at least, you know, coming up on some people.
They do this really like harrowing
stunt where a guy takes a rope and jumps
off of a cliff and grabs onto a tree.
And then they like
to climb the tree down.
And so, you know, they,
you know, and then they all can like shimmy across the rope to the tree.
And Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney, I've honestly forgotten which it is.
Who cares?
Having just looked it up two minutes ago.
ago.
One of the DMs.
One of those DMs.
He slides into our DMs and he slides right off the rope.
Off the cliff.
Well, he loses his glasses, which I was like, he starts to look down the ravine and I'm like, don't do it.
You have glasses on, you stupid fuck.
And then he loses his glasses and I was like, oh, he's done.
He's done.
So, yeah, so Matt alluded to this.
This is one of the more devastating things in the movie.
This guy's like, of course, another girl dad.
His thing is like he always always felt his daughter's like hair brushing him in the face and that's like his sense memory of his daughter he hits the ground and then we see hair brushing him in the face and a little daughter and it's this like very sweet moment fucking hard cut hard ariaster hereditary cut of this guy getting eaten by wolves it is so fucked up and so like it is already in fucked up biggest laugh of the movie i gotta say honestly i I kind of thought as that was happening, I was like, I bet it's Wolf fur that he's feeling than it was.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean,
there's a few things in this movie.
There's a few moments that I was like,
I wasn't sure if I was impressed by the restraint or mad that they weren't giving me the slop I wanted, but it was like, you know, there was moments where they could have made it a Wolf movie and didn't.
And that moment, I was just really glad they followed through.
I was like, come on, please, please let him be actually getting eaten by wolves.
The moment where he jumped off the cliff, or not jumped off, but he started to go down and shimmy.
I was like, and he's going to get attacked by a wolf.
I thought at some point someone would like swing from that thing and then
he would get someone get eaten by a wolf like a dog catches a frisbee in the air.
Yeah, I was like kind of expecting that.
And the fact that they didn't do it, I was like, I think that's really impressive, but I'm mad.
Well, I think that that death was the most alligator two death of any of the ones, but it still felt like real.
Yeah.
This guy, they go, he's wounded.
He fell down.
Take him out.
Bye-bye.
Yummy, yummy.
We got two more interchangeable dudes left to die before the final confrontation.
And we're going to talk about those dudes right after this.
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I'm Jordan Morris.
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We are talking about the gray as part of Animals Attack August.
So
there's two more guys and then Liam Neeson.
Frank Grillo, he just gives up.
He just decides he's going to sit down, look at the view, and die.
Straight up says, fuck it.
It is one of the funniest moments, too, because he is this character.
He plays plays Diaz, who's the guy who's spent the first half of the movie going like, we didn't elect you as king of the soul.
Why are we listening to this expert?
I'm not afraid.
I ain't no punk.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You're a punk.
I've never been afraid of nothing.
Oh, I sure have learned a lot about myself in getting almost eaten by that dog.
And then he just is like, forget everything I learned.
I'm going to sit here and die.
It is beautiful, actually.
But it's also selfish because it's like having three as a pack is like a little bit more
intimidating to the wolves than two.
I feel like you might as well just keep limping along with your buddies.
Die with them.
Yeah, die with them.
Well, while they're eating you, at least they can get up behind the wolves and kill them or something.
Sure.
They killed how many.
There's one wolf I remember them killing and then they ate it.
Yeah, yeah.
The Omega wolf.
Yeah.
Yeah, Alpha Omega.
Oh, my God.
Beginning and end.
So he was the shittiest wolf?
He was the shittiest shittiest wolf.
Yeah, that was the one.
Yeah, they said, like, oh, he's an outcast from the pack, and they sent him in to test us.
Yes.
Obviously, wolves don't do that.
They don't have a weird, fucked-up Klingon society.
Yeah, they have like that one bro who's kind of like, we don't like this kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He smells like dirt and cheese.
Get him out of here.
Yeah, we're going to send Greg over to those guys.
He's probably going to die.
We'll probably be Greg.
Can I say that the CGI of these wolves is very never-ending story?
That fucking, you know, that wolf that's in the cave that's like,
I like that one better than the CGI in this, but they don't show the wolves like very close up very often.
And the snow really helps to kind of like camouflage it.
But of course, fur is incredibly difficult to do with CGI.
Sure.
And we're in the age of not being allowed to have animals in movies.
But I kind of, okay, hear me out, PETA.
Yeah.
All right.
A message to PETA.
PETA.
A message to PETA.
Can't we find a way to make it humane or something to have some animals and stuff?
Like, what if those animals had done crimes?
Yeah, we'll just
convict cats who
as part of their community service.
Yeah, they have to be.
They have to be and look who's talking for.
But I mean, there's working dogs at the police.
Like, is it abuse for the cops to be using dogs?
Probably.
Yeah, probably.
So, yeah, PETA, go after that.
Like, I don't know.
I think that we should be able to have wolves in movies again.
I just feel like
I don't disagree.
I actually think they got it backwards.
Like, they need to bring animals back in movies and they need to ban children in movies.
Amen.
And replace the children with CGI.
All kids should be CGI.
100%.
Every kid.
Andy Circus in a mocap suit.
Let's just polar express those kiddos.
Let's go.
We can do it.
We have the technology.
So Frank Grillo dies.
He just sits down.
He says, I'm not afraid.
And you hear like a little bit of a wolf growl.
Yes.
And then, so the last, the last guy, the most,
the most like
quality-less man on this journey.
Yeah.
Like, oh, there's one more guy.
I don't know.
I liked him a lot.
I don't remember anything.
I can't differentiate him between the others.
I can because he looks like he should be related to John Ritter.
He just should be, but he's not.
But at the very beginning, where Liam Neeson has helped that guy die, he's giving the best crying performance.
He's what made me cry.
He's like sobbing.
Oof.
I think he's one of the best sad actors in this movie.
Yeah, I didn't even know that was him because, again, I can't tell the difference between all these people.
But yeah, he was great in the scene where he's crying.
And I think Frank Grillo is great in the scene where he gives up.
This guy is just like a fifth on the call sheet meat and things.
He's a generic villain in the Marvel movies.
He was in Rampage, you know,
and he's like, actually, he's good in this.
That was like an Oscar worthy monologue kind of thing.
Yeah, there's a few of those in this.
Yeah.
And you think that Frank Grillo death is going to be like, oh, man, that's the saddest death.
Nope.
Yeah.
Okay, so this dude, this guy with the Christmas rest of the movie kills me, falls into a river and gets trapped under a log, and Liam Neeson is trying to save him and like his face is just barely under the water.
Have I told you guys the story where I almost died and this happened to me?
No.
You were from wolves?
No, from water.
No, I was canoeing with a friend
and there was a tree that like had fallen across the river.
And we were like arguing.
We were drunk, of course.
And
the canoe tipped, but it was like three feet of water.
So it's like, oh, well, whatever.
So we're like bringing the canoe over to the sandbar and it gets sucked under the tree.
Oof.
And I went under with it and was pinned between the canoe and the tree.
And I could put my hand.
out the water, but I couldn't get my head out.
So this scene, watching this was like, I'm camp, I can't watch it.
Did you die?
No, I just pushed
my, I put my arms on the canoe and just shoved my body through the crevice.
Oh, that's true.
And like, I was bruised all the way from my titty ribs,
front of my legs, but I got the fuck out.
And my mom came to the sandbar and she goes, well, you all right?
And I was like, yep.
She goes, okay.
Well,
that was your moment of fucking breaking the bottles, taping the knife to your hand.
I mean, you're living at any cost.
And my mom, I thought she was going to be so mad at me and then have a talk with me about drinking or whatever.
And she goes, well, you okay?
Yep.
She goes, well, I think we learned something today.
Just walked away.
No, she, my mom's a way better canoeer than me.
She got in her canoe and was like, all right, see you back at the camp.
Still alive.
I hated this scene
because I was like, can't you go under there and dislodge his fucking shoe?
No, I mean,
the whole scene is just so,
it's just so horrible to watch because he's trying to, he's just trying to wrench him free.
He's like inches away from being, you know,
not submerged.
And meanwhile,
the guy is just screaming underwater, help me.
And he keeps saying this, just like, just hold your breath.
And part of me also was like, what are you doing?
You don't need to scream at him right now.
He knows you're trapped under the water.
So it's like trying to communicate that my shoe is stuck in a rock, but you can't talk.
And so you can't even communicate it.
But it is true.
Like, just so everybody knows, shallow water is sometimes the most dangerous water because you can get stuck and stuff.
It's really fucked.
But
it was, it was a tree that had gone over the fucking river.
And it's those, y'all don't canoe when there's a tree over there.
Can never be me.
I'm telling you what.
Can never be me.
I simply would have just drunk as much water as I needed to in order to
survive.
There you go.
If you really wanted to live, you would have just drank all the water.
I should have just waited to get warm under that fucking tree.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't worry.
It'll be warm like a bird.
It'll be warm soon under the tree.
I'm peeing in the water so you can be warm.
Be with the one that's in the water.
When little Rosie takes you to the other side, who do you love?
Oh, is it.
Oh, it's your anime body pillow.
Sure, fine.
Yes.
Hot sunny Miku is taking you to the other side.
Sailor Jupiter.
Oh, fuck.
Sailor, sailor, moon.
Yes.
Anyway, so Leanne Nason's the last guy.
He is,
so yeah, he's like having this huge, huge crisis of faith,
as you probably would in this situation.
Sure.
And he's just yelling at God.
He's like, do something.
Do something.
Fuck faith.
Earn it.
Oh, I love this.
I love this part.
And then he goes, fuck it.
I'll do it myself.
Fuck it.
I'll do it myself.
That rules.
So he, and yeah, and that's when we get this kind of famous final 20 seconds.
He realizes he's crawled right into the wolf's den.
Yeah, he's in the den.
And I like then they do like a wide shot of him in there.
And it's like, well, yeah, there's a lot of ribs and skeletons around.
Yeah.
Maybe you would have noticed that.
Yeah, yeah.
I think I would have noticed.
He's too busy organizing wallets.
Yeah, he's too busy organizing wallets and yelling at God to show himself.
Yeah.
We should say, as the guys die, they like collect their wallets in order to bring them back to the family.
So he's like just when they realize a guy is dead, they like take his wallet as kind of a symbol that he's dying.
Yeah, and he looks at all the pictures and it is just a bunch of daughters.
Dads and daughters.
Dads and daughters.
So yeah, he gears up.
He breaks the little airplane bottles and puts them in his fingers like Wolverine claws.
He like tapes a bowie knife to
his hand.
He says his dad's poem one more time.
And all of the other wolves, they all scatter because he's going to fight the alpha wolf.
Yeah, the showdown.
And you're so stoked.
And you're so stoked.
Yeah, let's go.
Let's go.
You're looking at the runtime.
You're going, I guess they can get this done in five minutes.
Yeah.
Cut to fucking credits.
Although,
guys,
did you know there's a post-credit scene?
No!
Is there?
There is a post-credit scene to this movie that
it's so it's his head laying on the wolf and it's still breathing.
And it kind of mirrors that scene of him like comforting the wolf he shot in the beginning.
If you sit through these entire fucking credits, it's like two seconds of him laying on the wolf and it's still breathing.
The wolf is still breathing or he's still the wolf is still breathing.
You don't know if he is.
Bro.
Yeah, I know.
And then Nick Fury comes in and says,
He's like, yo, is that Captain America Shield?
That's so
putting together a team.
Well, I mean, if the wolf is still breathing but laying down, I have a feeling they're both injured.
They're both fucked up for sure.
They're both fucked up.
As this was happening, like he's doing the poem.
The music is like reaching a crescendo.
I sat there going,
There's no way they're about to do an art.
They better not do an art.
And then as soon as it cut,
I started cracking up because I couldn't believe that they actually
tricked me into watching a movie about art.
Like, like, they've tricked me into watching a movie that was about what if a man fought God.
Yeah, is it, if there is no God, is it worth it?
Yeah.
Is anything worth it?
If, if, if God indeed does not exist, is anything worth it?
Yes.
And then, well, it's all there is.
And yeah, and that's, and I think that's like, that's, that's like how this movie will be remembered as this great rug pull of like, yes, of like the trailers faking people out.
Because, yeah, like bros went to see this just thinking it was taken.
Yeah.
And then they got this.
It's totally wild.
Well, let's talk about what we thought about it after we talk about the hunk watch.
Oh.
It's hunk watch.
I mean, do we even
have it?
I don't want to assume.
I have assumed hunk watch things in the past and been wrong, but maybe this is the clearest one we've ever done.
Does anyone want to make another case for anyone other than?
I have a case for one other.
Okay, let's hear it.
Alpha Wolf.
Oh,
yeah, sure.
Alpha Wolf is huge.
And he is.
Very fuzzy.
Very fuzzy, very beautiful.
And honestly, probably a sweetheart if he ever met me.
You ever look at a really wild predator on like national geographic, like a bear
or like a lion and go,
I could be his friend.
Yeah, I would adopt a submissive posture.
Yeah, me too.
I would show my belly and I'd be like, Can I join your wolf gang?
And I think he would allow me to.
It'd be like, this is Matt.
He's kind of weird, but like, I don't know, he'll help.
You know?
Yeah.
I agree.
He is very stoic
and beautiful.
Yes.
But Liam Neeson is, I think, one of the biggest hunks of all time.
Absolutely.
One of the greatest hunks to ever live.
To ever hunk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
One of our finest.
And he just was like a,
I think that this is, we've had a lot of hunks that I'm obsessed with.
Sure.
But I think this is, if there's a definition of a real man,
this is it.
Like
he was like kind,
calm under pressure, trying his best to to help others.
Yeah.
Like, oh.
Good with sniper poems.
Yeah, likes poems.
Yes, likes poems.
Drinks, but not in excess.
Good with organized.
Also,
a wife guy.
I think you talked to me about this, Jordan, about how, you know,
Liam Neeson's.
Real wife from real life passed away.
Yeah.
And he did a lot of movies.
After that, people thought that he had money problems because he was doing so many movies.
Yeah.
So Liam Neeson Neeson is kind of like at one point had a Nicholas Cage-like output of just doing like 10 taken clones per year that all came out on Redbox or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I read an interview with him that kind of like suggested it's because he, after his wife died tragically, he just didn't know what to do with himself and just said yes to everything.
So this movie feels like, wow, he must have put a lot of actual real life, you know, experience into this because
there's the wife that is is dead and not wanting to be here because he wants to be with his wife.
Like, you know, and the yelling at God, like, what's the point of all this?
You know,
yeah.
And it, so it just, I kept thinking about that while I was watching this movie, and I was like, wow, it's so amazing that he was able to do this movie,
despite all the stuff that he'd been through.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
All right.
That's our Hunk Watch.
We're going to rank this movie on a scale of one to ten Super Loud Commercials when we come back.
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No, I was just looking forward to you going through the other ways in which Wild Wild West is historically inaccurate.
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We are going to rank The Gray on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials.
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That's where you can become a Max Fun member.
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Hell yeah.
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We just watched another episode of Alex Inc., and boy, did it fucking suck.
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Wow.
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And they're bringing back Scrubs, and I'm like, nobody is asking for this.
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Okay,
The Gray 1 to 10 Super Loud Commercials.
Matt,
this was one you stumped for initially, and you hadn't seen it.
What'd you think?
I think I'm going to give this an 8.
I really enjoyed the movie.
Once I realized what it was going to be
after the plane crashed, I was like, oh,
this is more alive than it is alligator.
You know,
That's when
I think I kind of accepted that it was going to be a rug pull.
Although I didn't realize how much it was going to be a rug pull.
And it was
truly, it's kind of an amazing movie.
It's called The Gray.
And you're expecting, like, well, why is it called The Gray?
I guess because it's Gray out.
It's like, no, but because
real life is purgatory.
It is neither heaven nor hell.
And And this movie is going to be like being in purgatory.
Oh, wow.
And then at some point, you're going to die.
Yeah.
Which is,
I don't know.
It's a lot for a Wolf movie.
And
I was very impressed by it, even though it didn't avoid some of the tropes of the
supporting cast.
But yeah, I like it.
You could probably do a Jacob's Ladder for this movie where maybe they just all died in the plane crash, or maybe this is just
William Newson's head or something.
Yeah.
yeah, yeah.
It's crazy that the movie is actually more pessimistic than the movie Alive,
which is about
real people who actually did survive a plane crash.
They had to like eat each other's butts and stuff.
But they actually lived.
They were like a bunch of millennials.
Remember when that was the thing about millennials?
Yeah, they all.
This is that fucking episode of Girls where they ate butts.
It's all Lena Dunham's fault.
But yeah, it's weird that it's more pessimistic than that, but it was also mostly a metaphor, which I like because I am refined.
Yes, very.
Emily, what'd you think?
I agree with Matt.
This is an eight.
It would have been a tippy 10 if we had seen the fight scene between
the alpha.
I can't believe they took that away from us.
Yeah, yeah, I'm still a little mad about that.
I wanted to see him fight,
kill the alpha, but also die.
Or lose completely, like try and then just get his ass.
But get some good licks in.
Like, get some good licks in.
Like, some kind of satisfaction for him surviving this long.
At least go out swinging.
Yeah.
It looked like he was going to, because I was like, oh, that wolf's going to get fucked.
He's got that knife and the glass bottles.
I was like, oh, he's going to get it.
He's going to get it.
Oh,
they cut to black like it was a fucking season series finale of the Sopranos.
I know.
That's so funny.
The journey needle drop was weird, too.
Kind of came out of nowhere.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm with you guys, too.
I think it's an A.
I think this is a really, really good movie that, like, maybe kind of like, unfortunately, its legacy is like the weird trailer stuff and the rug pull, but it's kind of hung around.
So I think people hopefully can like watch it for the movie that it is because I think
it's a really good one.
I really like this movie.
And yeah, Liam Neeson,
one of our best.
Watch it with a girl dad today.
Find your local girl dad and make him watch this movie to make him feel like he's doing the right thing by raising a girl.
That's right.
All right.
That is the gray
plugs.
Anybody got anything?
As always, I'm going to plug the Emily, Have You Seen This Show that I have on mythicalsociety.com.
It's available to second and third degree members.
It's my show, mine.
I love it.
I'm proud of it.
Please watch it.
Please.
Please.
I want to keep doing it.
I love you.
Yeah, and I will be at the Houston Punchline Comedy Club on August 28th.
If you are in Houston or the surrounding area, please come out to that and see myself and my wife, Francesca Fiorentini, do some stand-up.
It's going to be really fun.
Please come.
All right.
And I got a couple of things for you to put on your comic book pull list.
That's right.
If you got a pull list down at your local comic book store, here are a couple of things for you to pre-order.
Number one, on October 1st, you're going to want to pick up Predator Black, White, and Blood number four.
This is a anthology comic book series about The Predator.
That's right.
Everybody's favorite.
Hear me out.
Traveling through time, fucking up shit.
I wrote one of the stories in it.
It was so, so much fun.
As you know, I love The Predator.
And this one maybe shares some themes with today's movie.
It's a story for all the pet weirdos out there.
So if you like The Predator and you're a pet weirdo, check out Predator Black, White, and Blood number four out August 1st from Marvel Comics.
Also from Marvel Comics, coming out December 3rd, Venom issue 252.
Okay, Venom, it's going back to the legacy numbering.
That's right.
We're all excited about that.
They're doing something special for 252 because that was the issue of Spider-Man where he got the black suit.
So there's a really cool issue of Venom coming out with a bunch of alternate reality Venom stories.
One of them written by me, and it features a mysterious new Venom character getting a symbiote that is not black, but red, white, and blue, like the original Spider-Man costume.
Who is this mysterious character?
You have to read to find out.
That comes out December 3rd.
Pre-order it now from Marvel Comics.
Okay.
Tune in next week when our final movie of Animals Attack August will be
Fucking Sharknado.
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