No Country For Old Men

It's free with ads, the podcast that asked the question: why pay Paramount Plus eight bucks a month to watch a bunch of dick-swinging westerns when you could go online for free and watch a dick-swinging western that will make you ponder death and miss your daddy?

I'm Jordan Morris.

And I'm Emily Fleming.

I like those dick-swinging westerns on Paramount Plus, but today's movie is No Country for Old Men, the Oscar-winning Cohen Brothers Classic with an ending so abrupt you might think your internet went out.

With us, as always, is the super producer, the he freak Matt Lieb, hitting us with those existential drops.

What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?

A coinzilla coin.

Yeah, totally.

I lost a coin and one Godzilla.

I never realized you could dance to this movie.

It's got a pretty funky beat

for a movie with zero music at the end.

Yeah, you get a little bit of a little bit of music at the end of the credits.

Yep.

Ooh, boy, the choices in this film.

Yep.

So many choices.

But hey, we're going to talk about no country for old men, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads.

But before we talk about that, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.

Other free stuff.

Here's a little piece of clickbait that we're a little bit late to, but I feel like we should discuss it.

We'll go into our audience to discuss this.

Sidney Sweeney has made soap using her bathwater.

It is now sold out.

It is from a company called Dr.

Squatch.

Cool.

Dr.

Squatch.

And so there is now, or there was soap that you can buy that smelled like sand, pine bark, and just a touch in quotation marks of Miss Sweeney's real life bath water.

Now this is sold out.

Matt, how many of them do you have?

Yeah.

All of them.

The thing is, unlike the iPhone, there wasn't a limit.

Oh, okay.

You were only allowed to get two iPhones at once, but they didn't think about the fact that Matt Lee.

So you just stayed up all night making Dr.

Squatch profiles.

Yes,

there was 30,000 up in Windows, ready to go.

Well, there's a detail about the soap

is pretty

particular.

Do you tell?

It's the detail that I got all the soaps, and then I was able to extract the DNA of Sidney Sweeney from it, and now my own Sidney Sweeney.

So you're cloning her like a kombucha mushroom in your fridge.

She's my SCOBY.

Sidney Sweeney, great for gut health.

Yeah, the detail is that there's a hole in the middle so you can fuck it.

No.

Is there?

Yes.

Is that real?

Yes.

I have not seen the soap.

I haven't either.

You can fuck the soap.

Yes, you can fucking.

If you have a dick.

Yes.

Well, you can fuck.

I mean, even fucking.

Hey, fingering story.

Yeah, sure.

Fingering the soap.

That's right.

Wow.

I did not know.

Fingering the dip.

There it is.

Yes.

I did not know that.

Yes, there's a hole in it.

I feel like she's leaving money on the table.

These things

at,

you know, when they were available on the website, before Matt gobbled them all up like a greedy little guy,

they were like eight bucks, $10, right?

That's it.

I feel like she could have jacked up the price so much if just at the end of the little press release where she's like, I'm just helping guys get into skin health.

Right.

If everyone else is jacking, she might as well.

She might as well jack up the price.

If just at the end of the spiel, she was just like, and I farted in the tub.

Boom.

50 bucks for a bar, right?

I mean, this is kind of like

Saltburn kind of already did this whole thing with drinking it.

Right.

So it's like, why isn't there a mouthwash with bathwater in it?

Oh, you can gargle with Sweeney.

Well, why don't they, maybe free with ads, should do a gargle?

Oh, yeah.

What do you want us to do with our bath water?

Yeah, what do you think our bath water would taste like?

Sure.

Not good.

Don't let us know.

A little bit of blood on my part.

Chicken wings.

So this happened a couple weeks ago.

The bathwater soap was released.

A more recent article let me know that it is now on eBay for $1,600 a bar.

God damn.

So this $10 soap you can now get on eBay for $1,600.

It's like fucking beanie babies.

Yeah, totally.

But you can fuck them.

Oh, you can't fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fuck them with a little ingenuity, a little needle and thread.

You can pretty much fuck anything if you set your mind to it.

Princess Die, you were so beautiful.

You were America's princess.

The people's princess, what did they call her?

Not America's princess.

It doesn't matter.

Well, she's a ghost princess.

She's a ghost now.

RIP.

Kendall in the wind.

Well, yeah, if you were able to get your hands on some Sidney Sweeney.

Let us know.

Free with ads at maximumfun.org.

Hey,

let's talk about no country for old men.

Emily, you're the first timer here.

You had never seen this movie.

That is correct.

I've never seen it.

I don't know why I'd never seen it.

I think it's just one of those movies, like the same year that this came out was the same year that There Will Be Blood came out.

And honestly, I could have gone without it.

Oh,

I could have

been a fan of that.

You're not a There Will Be Blood fan.

No, but

I enjoyed this movie more than I enjoyed There Will Be Blood.

Okay.

Which the Academy did as well.

I know.

Look at you, Miss Main Street.

Are we all

Cohen Bros fans here?

Let's go around the horn.

What are some of the favorite Cohen Bros movies?

Oh, Brother We're Out, Thou is maybe one of the most perfect movies I've ever seen.

Like a Brother A Lot.

I agree.

That might actually be

perfect.

Yeah.

I am a big Hudsucker proxy guy.

Hell yeah.

My best buddy in junior high, Mike Nguyen, we went to see the Hudsucker Proxy together.

Weird movie for a bunch of like, for a couple of 12-year-old boys to go see it.

But I think, you know, we were, I don't know, whatever.

You just like to go to a movie.

But we loved that movie and our like little catchphrase all throughout high school to each other was, you know, for kids.

So that movie will always be very special to me.

It's a great movie for me.

Fucking Fargo head.

I'm a Lewin Davis guy.

It's got to be that cat.

You're not a no, you didn't love Lou and Davis.

No, I didn't.

Oh, it's so good.

It's got a magical cat in it.

It's got a magical cat.

Yeah, but the music was meh.

Oh, I love the music.

I do.

You know, I definitely don't, I was like reticent to see Lou and Davis because I'm like, there's few things I care care about less than like Bob Dylan era folk music.

I was on board.

I was totally.

Well, yeah, because I'm a big fan of, I mean, the Oh, Brother, We're Out Thou soundtrack is kind of what brought Bluegrass back.

So that movie came out when Matt and I were in college.

We both went to UC Santa Cruz.

That fucking soundtrack was in every dorm and store.

Everywhere.

For sure.

Like, Gillian Welch is one of the singers in the Go to Sleep, Little Babe, that song.

And she's one of my favorites.

I'll sing that one to my daughter.

Oh, Thomas Lee.

Come on.

Yeah, Yeah, but the thing is

it gets real dark.

I don't think it's actually about telling a baby to go to sleep.

Is it about drowning a baby?

I think it's about murdering a baby.

Part of a murder ballad.

Yeah.

So murdering a baby because,

and then killing yourself.

Oh, man.

That's just what the libs want.

Next on the blaze.

Yeah.

But yeah, Emmy Lou Harris and Allison Krause and Gillian Wall.

I mean, I love it.

I love that soundtrack and it's got a soft spot in my heart.

But yeah, Hutsocker Proxy rules.

And I am such a Cohen guy that I even kind of like the bad ones.

Like, even the ones that people say they're, you know, what are the bad ones?

Travel Cruelty, people say, is bad.

Yeah, I like that.

I like that movie a lot too.

I even kind of, you know, The Lady Killers is not a great movie, but it's funny.

Oh, my dad.

God, I forgot that that was what.

Yeah, so they have some lesser films, you know, but even the Garfield.

Garfield.

Stop.

True story.

Bill Murray took that role.

He doesn't have an agent, but he got a call from.

He's got a landline from the landlord.

Yeah, you got to mail him the script or something.

Yeah, yeah.

He got a call from Eaton Cohen,

and he thought it was Ethan Cohen.

He thought he was doing a Cohen brothers movie, but it turned out it was just Garfield.

I love his assumption that they were remaking Garfield.

Yeah, he's like, I don't know, they're into some wild shows.

Well, I mean, they did like the lady killers.

Yeah, right.

Which I guess Intolerable Cruelty, I didn't know, was theirs as well.

Yeah, that's a little bit of a, you know, you don't see their, you don't see their, like, you know, sheen on it that much.

It's a little more of a down-the-middle movie, but I still like it.

I wonder if that was before or after O Brother Were Art Thou, and that's like the connection.

It was after.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it was kind of probably a George Clooney connection thing.

Yeah, maybe.

I love that they just make a lot of movies.

They don't make as many as they like these days because maybe they're kind of broken.

I think they're broke up.

There's a little bit of that, but I also love the Fargo TV series.

I'm a big fan of the latest one.

i know that some people didn't like this um series or season the most but i haven't seen it it's my favorite so far but uh yeah blood simple was like one of the movies that everybody told me to watch and i honestly cannot remember a goddamn thing about it raising arizona well raising arizona oh yeah

sure sure that's that's worse too right i love there's just no you could just name the movies and go oh

totally well isn't it interesting that they haven't worked with nick cage like since like what's going on there get nick cage and whatever Yeah, maybe that's what will bring him back together to make a wacko Nicholas Cage movie where he's some kind of steampunk blimp pilot.

Sure.

Why not?

I'll watch that.

Let's get Tim Robbins, George Clooney, Nick Cage,

Francis McDorman, Ollie Hunter, Ollie Hunter.

Let's get the gang back together.

Jennifer, Jason, Lee.

Hell yeah.

Steven Root can be in there.

The whole fucking gang.

Yeah.

So, anyway, the Cullen Brothers, cold take.

They're great.

And we're going to talk about this movie of theirs.

Starts out with

some lonely shots of the West.

Texas.

That's most of the movie.

Yeah, I know.

Is Texas the West?

I think Texas is the West.

It's considered the West.

It's the South Middle.

Right, but this is back in the day when they didn't know how far west they could go.

Yeah, I didn't even know.

Yeah.

Tommy Lee Jones giving us some voiceover.

He's a small town sheriff.

He's remembering a day when the old timers, the old sheriffs, they didn't even even need guns.

Andy Griffith.

That's great.

Sure, yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, this is great.

It really reminded me of a time when Tommy Lee Jones was in all movies.

I love that, like, this cranky southern guy was

an indicator of box office success.

Yeah, it is.

Just put this old crank in your movie, and people will love it.

It's crazy for that guy to be a lead.

Totally.

Because he's just, he doesn't play hot dude.

He just plays cranky guy.

But don't you think that that is a

like a standard western thing is like steadfast,

reliable.

But you usually want to fuck him.

Well, I want to fuck him.

Well, okay, fair enough.

I think he's fuckable.

But I mean, look at John Wayne, ugliest motherfucker I ever saw.

Why was he in so many Westerns?

Because he seems just like a guy who will show up.

Yeah, I think you need him to show up.

Poor guys back in those days.

Yeah, I mean, like.

And that was as good a shape as a man could be in.

Right.

Exactly.

Like Clint Eastwood, bunch of toothpicks holding together that bullshit.

It's face cool.

You know.

But it's like, yeah, these guys, they were just guys who you know would show up if you called them.

And that's kind of, I think that that was the standard.

But Tommy Lee Jones, I think, is pretty

cool.

Pretty, yeah, pretty, and yeah, just like

he always, always good and stuff.

And yeah, cool that there was a time in our lives where like that was the world's biggest movie star.

So cool.

It was just this old gold crank staring down death who hates Jim Carrey.

Yes,

we were kind of talking about that.

He told him I cannot sanction your buffoonery.

That is wild.

Isn't that great?

I love it.

That sounds like you kicked open some saloon doors and said that to Jim Carrey.

It's so funny that they had to be in that Batman movie together.

So yeah, so the movie, the kind of we meet our other main character, someone, a small-town sheriff, is arresting Javier Bardem.

And he's got the air tank and the gun.

We'll learn what that's for later.

Wait.

It's for.

can I ask a question about this air tank thing?

Yeah, yes.

Because I know it's something they use on cattle.

Yes.

And it's, I guess supposedly there's no bullet or remnants of what happened.

Yeah, it is something that they use to kill cows.

It's like a pressurized pump that shoots a steel rod into the cow.

Right.

And Javier Bardem is toting this around.

He's a killer for hire.

He's toting this around killing people.

But it takes it back again.

Like, so it shoots you you in the head and then

it goes back in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So there's no, you know,

there's no, you can't find a bullet.

Exactly.

That's so fascinating to me.

Seems like a good way to get away with murder.

Well, I mean, not now because that

Cormac McCarthy wrote a book about it.

I think that the reason why he wrote this book was because he heard about that and went, ooh, great murder weapon.

I think that let's give a fucker a bolt cut and kill some fuckers.

Let's make this about how death comes for us all.

Yes, exactly.

So, yeah,

he gets arrested by a small town sheriff who just kind of takes him to the little jail.

We see, as, you know, the guy's calling it in, we see just Javier Bardim in handcuffs, sneaking up in the background.

This movie has so much fucking great shit happening in the background.

Oh my God.

It's such a, yeah, it's such a tense movie.

And he, like, strangles the guy with the handcuffs, and he's got just this totally insane, blissed out look on his face.

That's me right before my DoorDash order gets here.

And so he strangles this guy.

They like fight on the floor, and afterwards, you see all the scuffs from their shoes on the floor.

That's another fucking thing about this great movie:

the little details, just those little things.

Anyway, this is going to be one of those episodes where I just talk about things I like about a good movie.

Anyway, this is funny.

This is not why you're listening.

You have a weird parasocial thing for us to do.

Trust me, there's weird things that make us horny in it.

Buy our soap.

Buy our soap.

Fuck us soap.

We made the hole with the pressurized cattle thing.

Which, is it too early to say that Javier Bardim's wig is the worst hat?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, here it is.

The worst hat.

There it is.

Kristen Wig would later repurpose that for the Target Lady.

How about that?

Yeah.

So true.

Last name's Wig.

That's funny.

Yeah.

Anyway, so we go to, we go, so he, oh, and he, so after Javier Bardim gets out, he, like, finds a random motorist guy to help him.

That's something that happens.

Like, these nice southern guys come to help him, and he fucking kills them.

It's the whole theme of the movie.

And it's like one of those themes that is, it sticks with you because you're just like, yeah, did Javier Bardem ruin kindness?

Yeah.

Because everyone's like, you can't hitchhike anymore.

You can't hitchhike.

You can't, you know.

And the weird thing is, you know, we've got another character, Josh Brolin, who

this psychopath will be chasing, hunting.

And he'll be trying to ask people for help, and they'll be dicks to him.

I know.

And you're like, what the fuck?

Where are you?

Except those nice mariachi guys took them to the hospital.

That's true.

Oh, that's

so true.

Oh, and the guy at the Western store.

Anyway, well, these

are the things.

We'll get into it.

We'll get annoyed.

It is true.

Like, there's, I guess the Cohen brothers, one of my favorite things about their movies is just the charm of like small-town people who were willing to help.

Yeah, I know.

But then also the darkness of what lies beneath the veneer of kindness.

Yeah.

And

they cast such wonderful people, you know?

All the like one-scene characters, the fucking lady that works at the motel, everybody's awesome.

I love that bitch.

Well, yeah, all the old ladies in these movies, I could, people I'd play, every single woman,

not the hot one, though.

Not Josh Brolin's wife.

I wouldn't play that lady.

No way.

Carla Jean.

Oh, she's great.

But no, like, you know, Tommy Lee Jones' wife.

She's amazing.

She's been in a lot of stuff.

Beautiful, icy blue eyes.

But like, yeah, the old lady with the beehive hairdo at the hotel.

Hell yeah, I'd play that bitch anytime.

She has a bunch of eight tracks stacked behind her.

Yeah, I love her.

So, Javier Bardem, he's a killer.

He's out there.

We go to Josh Brolin.

He's like out hunting in the woods.

He's just kind of a random southern guy.

And he kind of comes upon this like massacre.

There's this drug dealer massacre.

And he finds just a big old sack of money and he fucking takes it.

Here we go.

Bad idea.

But he also finds this guy who, I guess, has been shot but still alive.

Right, asking for water.

In a pickup truck.

And this guy is his demise, ultimately.

Yeah, sure.

And he's asking for water.

Where's the lady at the pool?

Anyway.

Oh, yeah.

So,

because he goes back because he feels bad.

Yeah, so he goes there.

He goes, oh, we'll get there.

So he go, he, you know, he goes home to his wife, Carla Jean, and he just doesn't, he's like, she's like, what happened?

And he just won't tell her.

Probably a fun guy to be married to.

I mean, here's the other thing.

We were talking about Paramount Plus and like the dick swing and Westerns.

Yeah.

I'm a big fan of, you know, Yellowstone and Landman.

They just do not communicate with women in those things.

And this movie was no different.

Everybody needs to watch therapy.

God, they just, you could probably explain it, but he's like,

fuck that.

So, yeah, so he goes back out at night to give this guy water.

And that's when they kind of like, the, you know, that's when kind of the bad guys get onto him.

They send a dog after him.

So they send this like mean dog after him.

And again, you just see this fucking dog in the background this whole time chasing him.

He like jumps in the water and the dog swims after him.

And then just at the last minute, the dog jumps for him and he like loads a gun exactly at the right minute, shoots the dog.

And it's like, I didn't know pit bulls could swim.

Yeah, and like swim to kill.

Like, I would, yeah.

I love that scene.

I would caught him in the water.

He would have, anyway.

I love that scene because

the thing about even a pit bull, as scary as it might be chasing you on land, when they're in water, they're still dog paddling.

They're still keeping them.

And they still have this big smile on their nose.

And the dog actor was probably having fun.

Yeah, the dog actor was having a great time.

Yeah, that shot of like right when he was about to get him, very scary.

This movie, tension and like

the background, like you said.

Yeah, the kind of stuff happening in the, you know, in the back of the frame.

And yeah, and all the, like, something I noticed on this watch is like, most of the most tense shit just happens in broad daylight.

It's just at noon.

Like, this movie doesn't use like shadows or the darkness that much.

It's just like someone fucking comes to your house at 2 p.m.

to kill you.

Yeah, well, the other thing is, like, thinking about the background, this guy is always having to check over his shoulder.

Yeah, totally.

He's being pursued constantly at a slow pace that you are always thinking about what's behind you.

Yeah, so he, so we go back to Harvey or Bardem, and he goes into the gas station, and this one we we get the kind of the big scene of this movie that got like parody, this is where he says friendo.

He's just intimidating this wonderful little old man who works at the gas station, making him like do a coin toss for his life.

And asking him what time he goes to bed.

Yeah.

That was weird.

I know.

So Javier Bardem is just a fucking psycho.

We don't explain anything about his backstory.

And like this movie like drips out little nuggets of backstory for people.

And I know that can be like frustrating in other movies.

I fucking love it.

Me too.

I love it.

I love the amount of information we get, which is basically none.

Yeah.

There's a lot of, I guess there was some outrage about this movie and things seeming vague or not feeling like there was a real climax to it.

Sure.

God, I disagree.

Yeah, I know.

I think it's really, really great.

And it gets so already in vague at the end.

But yeah, and I get, you know, how if you're just a fucking cranky dad and you're like, finally, they made another Western.

And then, you know, there's, it's, it's as kind of weird and vague as this is.

But also, it's a great movie.

Yeah.

So Javier Bardem, he's kind of like,

he's kind of like tipped off to Josh Brolin.

He gets like the Venn number on his car and there's a tracker and the money.

So he breaks into Josh Brolin's trailer and he sent

Carla Jean to live somewhere else and he's on the run.

I like this little detail.

Javier Bardem just like drinks all their milk like a fuck as if this guy wasn't a fucking psycho already.

He's just sitting sitting on the couch drinking milk yeah and he doesn't even put it back in the doesn't even put it that is a psychopath i do want to say one thing the um

all i wanted to do was when he was talking to the old man on the gas station going what's the most you've lost in a coin toss yeah i was like if you did this in nashville someone would talk your ear off for probably an hour yeah they'd be like well i'm so glad you asked when i was in the sixth grade there was a coin toss where

he just gets annoyed and leaves exactly he just fades away or shoots him but i can't handle it i was yeah please be quiet he's just like god damn it why did i even it's like why did you ask that question to a southern person they're gonna spin a yarn like

um so yeah uh so josh brolin is doing this little scheme where he's renting various rooms at this like little tiny motel and he's hiding the money in the ducks and like kind of moving it around with a you know with a kind of a hook made of coat hangers.

When you say ducks, it sounds like a quack, quack duck, but you mean the

duck tuck.

The air duck.

A duck tear duck.

Thank you.

That's funny.

Duck tails.

A duck tail.

Duck tails.

You ever heard of duck tails?

Well, this is a duck tail.

Hiding money with a tracker.

Duck tails.

You got to put the bag where the air comes from.

It's ducked tails.

Duck tails.

Silencer on a big shotgun.

Fuck tails.

I've never dealt with a duct.

I've never been in one.

I know.

So many of them.

There's so many ducts in movies.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, there's like sewers.

All these movies make you think you're going to, like, you know, the quicksand thing.

Everybody's like, oh, I thought I'd deal with a lot more quicksand.

I thought I'd deal with a lot more ducts.

I've never been in a duct.

Where you got to go escape or get through something.

Never, I don't, we can't fit through the one in this studio.

No way in it.

It's too way too small.

I couldn't fit one titty in there.

Most of the ducts that I've seen are too small for me to crawl through.

Yeah.

And yet in video games, it's where I hide.

Sure.

You know?

So Javier Bardem, he's at this motel.

He's like blasting dudes with like a big silenced shotgun that makes a really great noise.

The like air gun makes a great noise.

The silence shotgun makes a great noise.

Yeah.

All the sounds.

Well, the other thing is they do like to play with

is he going into the right room?

Right.

Like the hotel stuff, which they there's a callback to it towards the end.

But

he's, he kills a bunch of people like Javier Bardem does because he keeps going in the wrong rooms to get our guy but yeah also can we do a sting for duck tales in the future because there are so many movies that's true with those like Jurassic Parks got one there's all kinds of there's always a duck so duck tales a woo-woo yeah there we go

so

Matt back into the sting minds yeah yeah yeah

we need more sting harder

we probably how many do you think we've got right dude I do like this is why it takes like a few seconds for me to find this thing

because i got so many guys i'm backed up okay stigminds are constipated with sting

um so uh we kind of like get a little bit of the kind of backstory as to what's going on with like the higher-ups behind this drug deal gone wrong it's all kind of being orchestrated by steven root hey this movie so many great hey he's in this jump scares uh the root is on fire the root the root is on fire the guy is fucking great and everything he's wearing a fucking blue suit He's got an awesome mustache.

This movie is a period piece.

It takes place in the 80s.

It doesn't like to be a little bit more.

Is that why it takes place?

I was having a hard time because they were talking about the 60s and stuff like that.

And I was like, what the hell?

Is it 70s?

I know.

So, you know, like Josh Brolin's character was in Vietnam.

And that's kind of like, I like that as a little detail.

It's maybe why he's so crafty with all this stuff because he's been in, you know, high-stress situations before.

Great little detail.

Stephen Root hires Woody Harrelson to go after Jarveyer Bardett.

He's happy to see him.

Yeah, looking good in this cool suit.

Wait, how many Cohen Brothers movies has he been in?

I don't know if there's any.

I don't think he's been in any movie.

I think this is the only one I know of.

Yeah, he belongs in everyone.

I know.

Yeah, he just like he seems like, if you told me he was in every one, I'd be like, oh, yeah, sure, sure.

That makes sense.

Yeah, totally.

He belongs in any movie ever.

He's great.

Yeah, great in this.

Also, his father was a hitman.

So he's kind of playing.

Was Roddy Harrelson's father was a hitman?

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Neat.

Famously.

Legendary.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, did you guys hear that they're bringing bringing back another True Detective season with him and Matthew McConaughey, our favorite?

Our favorite YouTuber, Matthew McCaugh.

I signed up for his newsletter recently.

So

maybe in

future episodes, I will read off of Matthew McConaughey's email newsletter.

Writing things down?

It's probably just more of his

fake inspirational shit.

Writing it down.

Yeah, and his wife's writing.

No, I think he probably dictates his newsletter himself, and that's probably why it'll make no sense.

I can't wait.

So Javier Bardem

goes to another little hotel to hide out.

There's a cat drinking some milk.

I am pleased to report the cat makes it throughout the movie, even though several dogs die.

I love this movie.

The cat's fun.

There's another cat in the movie, too, later on.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

There's a lot of other cats.

Good cat movie.

There's a really kind of like tense standoff.

This is like the closest the two have been to each other for the whole movie.

Like, Josh Brolin's just sitting in his room, like, upright, holding a gun, and you see, you know, you see the Javier Bardem's on the other side of the door.

They just sit there for a while, very tense.

There's a little bit of shootout.

You run through the hotel, and you see that the cat's okay.

It's kind of implied that the hotel clerk got killed,

but the cat's just out there just like that.

I love that hotel, too.

The hotel's great.

Like, that was, I loved that chase scene.

That was a really fun action scene, is what I would call it for sure.

And yeah, it's a very like, yeah, it's very like minimal action, but it all like works so well.

And it's, yeah, it's just so tense from beginning to end.

Um,

so uh, but Josh Bullen escapes, he uh tries to like cross the the border to Mexico.

There's a bunch of like frat guys, he buys like a coat off them, and then he just like collapses barely in Mexico because he's like lost a lot of blood.

And these nice mariachi guys take to take him to a hospital.

But what's great about that scene is that, like, in that scene, he's showing up and he is clearly like fucked up.

Yeah, yeah, and he talks to these like frat guys,

and they don't give him, you know, a coat.

He has to buy it off them.

And then as soon as he like shows his money clip, they're like, oh, let's ask for more money.

Like they were being incredibly rude to a very hurt man.

There is a parallel to this towards the end of the video.

Yes, there is.

But yeah, they were dicks.

They were.

They were dicks.

So he wakes up in this kind of Mexican hospital.

Woody Harrelson is there.

He kind of explains a little bit of Javier Bardem.

Not his backstory, but just like, oh, he's a psychopath.

He, you know, doesn't believe in anything.

And then he tells him, like, oh, I'm staying at this hotel if you want some help.

And then Javier Bardin, of course, shows up there, kills Woody Harrelson, and goes to the office and kills Stephen Root.

I want to ask a question.

Yes.

What does Stephen Root's character have to do with any of this?

I think he's just kind of like the money man who is moving all these drugs.

They don't really explain.

He's just like, there's just in a fucking office, there's a guy with a mustache and a blue suit who is orchestrating this all.

Yeah, but it's also like, I mean.

It seems so corporate.

Well, it's very corporate, but eventually, Javier Bardem goes and shoots him.

So who the fuck is he working for?

I'm like so confused about this.

It's a great question that they don't answer, and I love it.

Yeah, I think he's just like,

I just follow the trail of what makes sense to my psychotic brain in the moment.

Right.

And it's also like, then who, how did he get the job?

Who hired him?

Exactly.

It's like, come on.

You want to know these things, but they never let you know.

So you can also.

That's why you got to watch the Disney Plus series, the country for old man origins, and it fills in all the gaps.

I would love to know the gaps.

Well, the fun thing about watching this movie is the latest season of Fargo, there is a character that has a similar haircut and a little bit of a similar vibe

to Javier Bardem's character.

And the ending feels like it's going to be very similar to this, but then it goes in a different direction.

But so it's been fun to look at the two because you could see that it's referencing itself in that.

But yeah, I'm like, why?

Who hired this guy?

There's one person in the movie that I will get to towards the end that I'm like, is this the guy?

But who hired him?

But anyway.

So, yeah, so there's actually just a ton of people now looking for Josh Brolin.

Like the drug cartel is also looking for him.

Yes.

Yeah, actually, we're kind of like almost to the end of this movie.

So let's do this.

We'll take a little break and then we'll come back.

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Okay, back to the episode.

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We are talking about no country for old men.

So,

so yeah, Josh Brolin's on the run.

He tells his wife, Carla Jean, to take her mom and like go-I don't know where they're going, who knows, on a plane.

And she has to move her mom, who's complaining the whole way.

She's like, I've got the cancer.

That actress is in so much stuff.

I'm pretty sure she's been in a few Cohen Brothers movies.

That is who I'd play for sure.

Oh, This lady.

I love her.

Yeah, I'm her for sure.

So, yeah, this is great.

And so Josh Brolin, like, goes to this hotel for like, you know, to like make a stand.

And there is this random woman sitting by the pool.

We don't like get a close look at her.

We know she's kind of a babe.

She's like flirting with him.

She's like,

come have a beer.

And he's like, oh, I'm married.

She's like, well, well, we'll have him out here and you can stay married.

It's great fucking dialogue.

And you don't know if he agrees to do it.

You just kind of see him consider it, right?

And then the next thing we see is these fucking shot drug cartel guys peeling away from the hotel.

You see a crime scene with Tommy Lee Jones, and you get to see Carla Jean's face, assuming Tommy Lee Jones just told her that he died.

And you don't see any of it.

They go to the morgue and you kind of sort of see his body, but not really.

No.

It is like, it is like crushingly unsatisfying.

You don't get to see a big shootout.

It's just some fucking shit happened.

He thought it would be okay to have a beer with this woman and just got killed by some random dudes.

It like, yeah.

It's incredible.

It's like no other movie would do it like that.

I think a studio, like just, I'm imagining giving studio notes to this and how annoying they would be.

Like,

first of all, I felt a little bored with the no music thing.

You think there could be like a

or like country music, country music.

All my exes live in Texas, or you know, like country music.

Do what you did.

Do what you did with O'Brother.

We sell a soundtrack.

I got friends in duh.

Duh places.

Well, also, I think that the whole thing with the movie is that this violence becomes in like people are insignificant

when it comes to this violence where it's like this, like people just are disposed of and it's unsatisfying yeah but when we kill a dog we got to make sure we fucking blow its brains out in front of everybody yeah but yeah no it's true also i i did look a little bit into the differences between the book and the movie um through some videos and i guess the girl at the pool in the book they have like multiple dinners together and have a lot of conversations.

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

But they kind of, you know, chop that down.

Yeah, which is nice because it's like

you kind of get all of that just through the ambiguity of the cut.

Because she says, he says the line, you know, what you looking for?

It's like, what's coming?

And then she's like, oh, no one ever sees that.

And I'm just like,

oh, fuck, what's coming?

What's coming?

And then cut to no one ever sees that.

Maybe she was working with the cartel, but maybe she was just.

We don't just, yeah, we don't know.

Wasn't she dead in the pool?

Oh, she might have been.

I didn't see.

I didn't see that.

I think she was the body that was.

There was nine more times.

Oh, I've never seen that.

I'm not sure.

But, okay, so there's this thing.

So we're always like, you know, who hired this Javier Bardem character?

Who hired him?

There's a scene where, you know, Josh Brolin's wife and her cancerous mother are like having to go somewhere.

Yes.

And there's a man who comes up to her mother and is like helping her with the bags and going,

Where are you going?

Where are you staying?

And the mom is just blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yes.

We don't know what happens to the mother.

Like, I feel like she's dead for sure.

And also, she probably welcomed it.

She's like, the sweet release.

Sweet release of death.

Exactly.

No more Llewellyn, no more me.

Yeah, what the fuck with that name?

Yeah, yeah.

I keep forgetting.

Josh Brola's name is this is Llewellyn.

Llewellyn.

It's like a little house on the prairie.

I know.

What the fuck?

I love that that's Laura Engels wilder, but shortened.

But anyway, so like, I just kind of went, is this the guy who hired him?

Is this our kingpin?

doubt it.

My assumption was that he was part of the cartel group and not so much the whatever the, you know, white collar, whatever the fucked Steven Roots guys are.

Yeah, yeah.

Feel like different guys

than the cartel guys.

Like, I have no idea who's on what team.

It feels like this deal was very unorganized.

100%.

I don't think these guys are good at selling.

They don't have Slack yet.

That's right.

If they had Slack, this whole thing would have gone fine.

Yeah.

Slack for crack.

Google Meet.

Yeah, they should have used Google Meet.

Yes.

So yeah, so we

for shrooms.

So sorry.

Yeah,

what teleconferencing are you using to sell drugs?

Let us know.

Free with that to maximumfun.org.

So

then we get a shot of that mom's funeral.

Again, we don't know, yeah, was she killed by the guy at the airport?

Was it just, yeah.

And Carl and Jean just goes home.

Again, fucking middle of the day.

Javier Bardam is just like sitting there.

And he's like, I promised your husband I would kill you.

And he sets up the coin toss thing for her, and she refuses to call it.

She refuses to call it.

And we don't really see what happened.

He's leaving the house.

We see him kind of wipe his feet.

Maybe that's the implication that he actually killed her and got blood on him.

I think most people say that he definitely killed her.

But I kind of...

Don't think he did.

Well, he's wiping his shoe.

Well, do you guys see?

In the mat, He wipes his shoes.

Well, yeah, maybe he just hates their house.

That's true.

That's true.

It's just like gross.

I hate this

carpet, carpet.

Barren, childless woman, gross.

Disgusting carpet.

And he drives away, and then on his way out, he just gets hit by a random car.

And my favorite detail about that is like he's, it's the, the light's green.

He's going through, you know, an intersection.

And usually you see a car out, like the camera shooting through the front,

and you usually see a car coming, but there is no car coming from that side.

It hits them from the other side.

So the seeing things in the background, it is in the background so far that you can't see it coming.

Yeah.

You never see it coming.

You never see it coming.

It's so good.

So good.

And yeah.

So yeah, as you kind of alluded to, Emily, we get kind of a little twin scene to the frat guys on the bridge.

These little southern kids on bikes ride up to him and try and help him.

And one of the kids like gives him his shirt so he can make a sling.

And he kind of offers him money and the kid like refuses it a couple of times.

And then Javier Bardem just kind of fucking walks off.

Wow.

And you hear an ambulance in the background.

And like, and, you know,

probably

he got caught, but also maybe not.

This guy has fucking not gotten caught throughout this whole movie.

No, he's never going to get caught.

I think that that's the point.

Like, Tommy Lee Jones will never catch him and then he'll never get caught.

And he's a symbol for like all of crime and all of people who take innocent lives and how it's just you cannot stop it.

Bad people get away with stuff.

Just like how these kids were so nice to him.

And so it's like, oh, bad people get away with things and the good people don't.

Yeah, no, it was.

But yeah, he got up.

He's probably still around.

Yeah.

He'll come for us right after this book.

And

we'll get to hear about him on the Disney Plus

series.

No country origins.

Eight episodes.

All too long.

I love a prequel series, baby.

Give me that lore.

I want everything explained.

I want to be spoon-fed like a baby.

The young version of him will be played by Austin Butler.

Some rat boy will play him.

No country for young men.

Young, sexy men.

Young, sexy men.

Still with bowl cuts.

They must have the bowl cut.

It is so crazy.

They made it now to be old country for old them.

There we go.

Next on the blaze.

Next on the ball.

No country for them.

What are we mad at?

We don't know.

Death is coming for us and I can do that.

And then the British version.

No country for Big Ben.

What's all this, old men?

Anyway.

I love it.

Anyway, so that stuff happens.

And then we get the kind of last scene of Tommy Lee Jones and his wife.

He's retired.

He's talking about going to ride the horses.

He says a thing about a dream, though.

Yeah, and he

and he, yeah, he describes two dreams he had with his dad.

One, he doesn't really remember.

He gave him some money.

And then he describes this dream of him and his dad riding horses.

And the dad goes off to make a fire.

And that's, he just, he says, like, I knew I would see him again.

Yeah.

Well, the whole thing was that I guess his dad died at a younger age than Tommy Lee Jones's character is right now.

So I was older than him.

So I'm looking at my dad, who's a younger man than me in the dream, which is so great.

My favorite thing is we didn't get to hear an old guy spin a yarn about how much he lost in a coin toss, but we got to listen to some old bags dreams.

I know.

Describe two dreams.

Two dreams.

He also goes to see his brother.

His brother has a bunch of cats.

Oh, yeah.

The brother has a bunch of cats.

Oh, I love him.

He's in a wheelchair.

he was clearly in some sort of uh like a shootout

and uh i love it he was in law enforcement as well i believe so uh but i love that scene because at one point like he's describing you know getting too old for this shit essentially yeah

and uh just the way his brother the line he goes this this country is hard on people or this country is hard on folks and there was just something about that where it was just like god that is so old west yeah i fucking love watching a competently made, non-kitschy Western.

Yeah, you know, it's just, oh, it was so good.

And yeah, the last kind of thing you hear is a little ticking of a clock that gets louder over the credits.

And then little, which kind of

bleeds into a little piece of orchestral music that's like, yeah, the only music clock.

I didn't notice the ticking clock.

That's cool.

And that's No Country for Old.

And then we woke up.

Yeah.

And it was the friends we made along that.

That's right.

The end.

Porky Porky Pig comes out.

That's all, folks.

And then Javier Bardem shoots him in the head with the steer gun.

How much have you ever lost in a coin toss?

Oh,

coin toss?

You're despicable.

Javier Bardem.

I really, I'm glad they didn't do a thing where a guy is out in front of the gas station going, you got any spare change?

That would have been hell.

God, can you imagine if they had hired a punch-up guy?

Like a Marvel punch-up guy, just someone in there to saw that happen

every other fucking scene.

As soon as Llewellyn dies, so that happened.

Yeah, so I did a thing.

I shot a guy with a fucking gun.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm lucky nobody carries change anymore.

Anyways, that's no country for old men.

We're going to rank it, but first we're going to do the hunk watch.

It's honk watch.

Emily, I think

you can probably

carry us out of this.

I'll just say real quick, I liked seeing Garrett Dillahunt in this.

Always loved this guy.

He's like Tommy Lee Jones' dumb partner.

He either plays the sweetest dad in the world or a horrible racist.

Yes, he's in Deadwood.

Yeah, he's great in Deadwood.

He's also in Raising Hope, which is one of my favorite sitcoms of all time.

That's one of his nice dad roles.

Yes.

Yes, he's great.

Definitely.

You know, I forgot about him.

He's a funny dumb guy in in this.

Matt, any thoughts on the hunks?

I think it's obvious it's Javier Bardem.

I know it's the basic choice, but he's just so marvelous in this.

And he also, like,

has a bowl cut ever inspired so much fear within someone?

Like, to have a haircut that stupid and still be handsome and scary, oof.

He's my hunk.

Yeah, I think he was especially hunky when he, like, cleaned his own wounds

while he was naked in the back.

He's naked and just sits on the toilet and gives himself stitches.

It's incredible.

There's like 10 awesome things we haven't talked about in this movie.

Yeah, this movie might have too many hunks.

Too many hunks.

Like too many hunks.

Too many hunks.

Too many hunks.

New sting.

New sting, baby.

Too many hunks.

It's

very hard to choose.

I think Tommy Lee Jones is going to be my ultimate hunk,

but

everybody's a hunk in this movie.

It's pretty crazy.

It's like hunk, hunk, hunk.

Like Woody Harrelson, total hunk.

Even Steven Root, give it to me.

Sure.

Give it to me, business daddy.

But yeah, I'm going to go Tommy Lee Jones.

I love a sad, sad, masculine old man.

Just accepting that death will be here when you least expect it.

Stephen Rood is also a good choice.

Yeah.

I love when he gets shot and

he's just bleeding out on the ground.

And there's something about him.

I'm like, I love this actor because he can bleed out.

And you're just like, what a brilliant guy.

He's really bleeding out.

He's probably the only slightly humorous thing about this movie.

This is the least funny Cohen Brothers movie I've ever seen.

It's bleak.

But yeah, no, I think Stephen Root was kind of hilarious.

Also, the accountant that he had, I love a guy with a job.

Hell yeah, sure, give it to me, Daddy.

The accountant's fun.

He's like, are you going to kill me?

That depends.

Have you seen my face?

Or no, he's a have you seen me?

Do you see me?

God, every the bitch, you trimmed your bangs yesterday.

Like, of course I see you.

They're perfectly leveled.

Word economy in terms of like the lines that Javier Bardem says.

It's beautiful.

Yeah.

It is true that his haircut is so pristine that he has to go to supercuts at least every week.

Yeah, for sure.

Perfect.

How is it so straight?

Great bangs.

How is it so straight?

When I was a little girl,

the bob with the bangs, to ding, to ding, diggy, diggy.

We had

my sister and I, we had the bob with the bangs, and there's always one piece of hair that was hanging in the front of the bangs, and you just keep trimming them and trimming them, and then you'd have no hair left.

So he had an amazing, amazing, shitty haircut.

Well, yeah, we are going to rank No Country for Old Men on a scale of one to ten Super Loud commercials when we come back.

all right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So, let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So, how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news, we still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined!

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

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I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

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Okay,

no country for old men.

Emily, we'll let you take it home since you were the

this is this is your first time seeing this movie.

I'll go ahead and give this a 10.

This is a pretty easy 10.

Yeah.

Yes, I'll say it.

This movie is one point better than Teen Witch.

I know.

I know it is one point better than Teen Witch.

I am prepared to say that.

Yeah, I like, love it.

It's, it's, yeah, it's gorgeous, and I love how arty it gets at the end.

And I love the kind of the, yeah, the tension's so great and the kind of vagueness and this kind of sense that the universe is random and nothing matters, or does it?

Yeah, it's one of those great movies, and it's a great rewatch.

I'm so glad I had the excuse to rewatch it for this podcast because it's one of those where you feel like you see it around and you're like, oh, yeah, that's a great movie.

And then you watch it again and you're like, oh, yeah, I recognized nine things in that rewatch that I didn't get the first time.

So, yep, this is a great one.

Matt?

This is an easy 10 for me.

It is one of my favorite movies, although

I do still believe that

There Will Be Blood is a better movie.

I mean, I know they're different things.

People only compared them because they came out in the same year and because they were both nominated for Best Picture.

They're both very brown movies, too.

Yeah, very brown.

So it was the Battle of the Browns that year at the end of the year.

The Battle of the Browns.

Yeah, the Battle of the Bleak movies.

That's true.

And, you know,

it's just a fantastic movie.

It's perfect in almost every way.

And yeah, so 10, easy, easy, 10.

Emily, your first time, what'd you think?

Okay, so we love the Cohen Brothers.

We do.

And there are other.

Picklebask, we haven't even talked about Piclebask.

Oh, no one even mentioned what, I mean, that's very true.

I mean, there's so many Cohen

Brothers movies that I would give a 10 to.

Like, oh, Brother War at that was a 10, no problem.

This is not the same level of enjoyment that I feel with a lot of those movies.

Is that funny?

Not funny, but still, like...

Compelling, heartbreaking.

I'm going to think about this movie a lot.

Yeah.

And it's also fun to just watch, you know, old men having a hard time.

I love he's full of that.

Yes.

Yeah, men just having a bad time being men.

But yeah, no, it's a 9.5 for me.

I love it.

That's great.

I very much enjoyed it.

I'm glad I watched it.

I will watch it.

It's bleak, but I want to watch it again.

Yeah, it has that quality to it.

Yes, absolutely.

It doesn't feel like a slog, but it feels like a slog.

It moves pretty fast

is the cool thing.

But yeah, loved it.

No country for old men.

It's out there.

We think you should watch it.

Okay, let's do a little bit of plug-in.

Matt, you got anything?

Yeah, I have a few things coming up.

Well, first of all, if you're going to be in Pasadena on July 5th, come to New World Disorder.

This is a comedy show over at the Ice House.

I will be there.

My wife will be there.

All of these dates that I'm going to plug are with my wife.

And then if you're in Seattle, August 1st and 2nd, we'll be at Laughs Comedy Club August 1st.

And then August 2nd, we'll be doing the bituation room live in Seattle

at the Rainier Art Center.

So please get your tickets.

They'll be in the description.

Emily, anything.

All right.

So next weekend, or this weekend rather, because this episode is airing the week of the 16th through the 20th, right?

We're going to be, yeah, I'm going to be appearing at VidCon

in Anaheim with the Mythical Kitchen team.

So Chef Josh from Mythical Kitchen channel on YouTube.

It's like good mythical morning, but for food and with different people.

I'm going to be doing a couple of different things there.

If you just go check out VidCon's website, I'm sure you'll find my name somewhere on there.

And please come out and say hi.

I'd love to see you.

All right.

And if you're in the San Francisco Bay Area on June 21st, I will be signing books at Mission Comics and Art from 1 p.m.

to 3 p.m.

with my buddy, Brianna Lowenson.

She's got a beautiful new memoir called Raised by a Ghost that you can get signed there.

You can get a copy of Youth Group signed by me and a bunch of other comics.

Yeah, it's going to be a fun time, 1 to 3 p.m.

at a great local comic book store, Mission, Comics, and Art.

And because I know there's a bunch of fucking nerds listening, I know I see you out there with your little fucking action figures.

I'm going to be doing a bunch of stuff at San Diego Comic-Con.

So start getting excited.

I want to see all the freebies out there for that.

Okay,

tune in next week when our movie will be Speed Racer 2008.

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