The Apartment, with The Flop House

This is Free with Ads, the podcast that asked the question, why pay the Criterion channel $11 a month to watch classic films when you could go online for free and watch one of Sight and Sound's greatest movies of all time, as long as you don't mind it being constantly interrupted by ads for predatory, pay-to-win mobile games with celebrity spokespeople whose presence in the ad will make you think, huh, I guess they're having money problems.

I'm Jordan Morris.

Oh, yeah, and I'm Emily Fleming.

Today's movie is The Apartment, the 1960 best picture winner about a lonely bachelor who apparently gets off on people fucking in his bed.

With us as always is super producer Matt, who is often called the Billy Wilder of drops.

He's so cute, like a little chihuahua.

Hell yeah, what's up?

Everybody's favorite character from this movie.

We love that lady.

Is that the barfly lady?

Oh, yeah.

Holly, what's her name?

I looked it up.

I was very interested.

Oh, yeah.

And dating her?

Yeah, yeah.

Going back in time and dating her.

Or digging her up and dating her corpse.

Hey, these guys were goofing around with.

There are guests.

It is Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington of The Flop House, Maximum Fun's own other movie podcast.

Hi, guys.

Hi.

Hey, what's up?

Now, we watched Joe's apartment, right?

That is free with ads, though, right now.

Oh, man.

I could have easily made that mistake.

And I bet the content is very similar, although I have not seen,

was that MTV Studios, like first big movie?

Well, it was a TV show for a little bit.

I think it was on liquid television.

Yeah, it was a short on liquid television that they then turned into a movie because it had a lot of legs.

I mean, it did in the form of cockroach legs.

You know, a lot of people say that the apartment and Joe's apartment are in conversation with one another.

They are

movies in a dialogue.

Echoing across time, yeah.

It's the Max Fun Drive, and we've got two great guests.

We're going to talk about the apartment, but first we're going to get to know our guest in a segment we call Talk to Guest.

Talk to guest.

Dan, Stu.

Y'all watch bad movies for the flop house.

That's the premise.

They're not always bad in your mind, but that's the premise of the show is the movies you're watching are bad.

What are the movies that come to mind in the history of the show that you've watched where you've been like,

people got it wrong?

That's pretty good.

Oh,

yeah, I know.

A recent one, Mafia Mama, starring Tony Colette.

That one rocks.

Oh, I saw that.

Big fan of Mafia Mama.

Let's see.

The Bratz movie.

Two thumbs up on that one.

Brats with a Z.

It isn't like.

It's a movie though.

I'm sorry.

I'm a dumbass.

What was I thinking?

Of course, Bratz with a Z.

I will see you smell Bratz.

You're going to feel weird as a full-grown adult watching the Bratz movie, so don't tell anyone about it, but you'll find that you're more delighted by it than you expect.

Have you guys watched Sucker Punch?

We did

for the podcast.

Yeah.

And you've watched a lot of Zack Snyder movies for the podcast for the podcast.

Well, that is free with ads currently.

And I ask you because a lot of people have argued that it is a good good movie, but it was like, it was, you know, pummeled, I guess, by critics.

What I would say is, I feel like media literacy has gone down.

So I might not trust those people, but

well, I feel like the movie was trying

something.

It was trying to maybe make a point about

sexism that then got subsumed in the cavalcade of sexist imagery and storytelling that they used to make that point.

Interesting.

I haven't seen it yet, but I was interested to know your opinion on it.

Because I think that's something that we have in common, where it's like,

you all watch things that people assume is bad,

but we watch things that are free that we hope are good

because they're free.

So

there's a little bit of, you know.

The goal is to find joy in something, right?

Try to find joy in this potentially free, potentially movie I paid money to rent, like Craven the Hunter.

I was running down the list of movies that you guys have watched for your show, though, and being like, oh, we played this all wrong.

We could have been watching good movies.

It didn't matter.

It didn't matter.

We do sometimes watch good movies.

And then at the top of the show, Dan is like, I'm so sorry.

Like, I know our show is called The Flop House and you do flops, but like, you know, please take it easy on us on the subreddit.

Like, don't be mean to me.

And I'm like, I don't give a fuck.

I'm super excited to watch this good-ass movie.

Who's this a thick version of me that you're doing?

Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, this is the like the Dr.

Jekyll version.

Okay.

I think, uh, speaking of movies that both shows have done, I feel like we need you to weigh in on the debate.

The question that can never be answered.

Sure, yeah.

Showgirls, good or terrible.

Do you have an opinion?

I know the answer is both and neither.

It's a super easy one.

I think it's a good movie.

I like it a lot.

I'm like a huge Paul Verhoeven fan for everything that isn't flesh plus blood.

And

I think it's a good one.

And I think it's like intentionally what it, like, it's very campy and weird.

And like,

I think it's, like, I think it's good.

Like, I wouldn't argue that it's like...

I'm not going to go to it as my textbook for, I don't know, like,

I don't know, like, good politics and gender stuff.

But it's,

going to give it more of a mixed review.

I do have it on my

shelf back behind me, but nice.

I think that

a physical copy of Choke.

I do.

A friend of ours wrote the essay in it, so I had to.

Who wrote the essay?

I think Christina wrote it.

Oh, okay.

Christina Cacciofo, the programmer at the 9th century.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe I'm making that up.

You have it on VHS or is that a laser disc?

This is a got on Blu-ray.

Those titties on Blu-ray.

4K.

Full front.

4K double D.

That's the aspect ratio I like.

I know 4K is the aspect ratio.

Date come for me in the comments.

I think the problem for me is that, like, Verhoeven is like a satirist, and then he's making a script by Joe Esterhaus, who does not have that in him.

So it's a weirdly confused.

I don't know what I was thinking.

I don't think she has a it's okay, it's so yeah, well, I think I'd love to read the essay.

That sounds awesome.

I do want to say this.

Um, I think that there's a lot of movies that uh one best picture that people argue are very bad movies.

So, I'm very interested to see what you think about this best picture winner and whether it's really great.

Do you have do you have best picture winners like ready to go that you want to drag, like Crash or I don't know, Green Book or

why did you just name two really good ones?

Green Book solved racism, guys.

Yeah, you're right.

Crash did

laid the foundation, and then Green Book spiked the ball.

No matter what, I still haven't seen Green Book, but my wife watched it on a plane, and I got to, she would tell me all the

changes in the dialogue that they had to use for the on the plane.

Like all the

well, Vigo Mortensen, hubba, hubba.

I don't care.

I'll watch anything, but he's in.

He's my ultimate hunk watch.

So I, you know.

I mean, he is amazing.

Have you seen those pictures of him on the Lord of the Rings?

It's him and Carl Urban during the Lord of the Rings press tour.

And they're in like a Japanese, like

they're in a Japanese model store, and they're holding like giant gundams and stuff.

And they're so excited, but they're also both wearing like anti-Iraq war like t-shirts that look very homemade.

And I'm like, I want to do both of these right now.

when you said have you seen I was sure you're gonna say have you seen the nude knife fight from Eastern Promises Eastern Promises or the sex scenes from history of violence like

why is everybody trying to fuck on a staircase that blows my mind there's so many staircase fuckings in movies and I'm like really

why you got Vigo Mortensen put him on a bed flat ground right at the bottom of those stairs yeah either go either go up or down make a decision you're close to a couch I know it I think Vigo is just like I've fucked so much in my life.

I need a challenge.

I don't, you know.

Yeah.

Before we get into it,

can I ask what the Flophouse cocktail of the night is?

You guys both have a very attractive-looking cocktail.

Dan made this one.

Since

we're doing a Max Fun Drive stream tomorrow night, it's a thing we call the Slop House, where Dan cooks up some slop and I make sure we get sloppy with some cocktails.

Nice.

We do it over on Twitch.

And I'm providing the cocktail that time.

So Dan decided to provide a very delicious cocktail, but what is it?

This is a corn and oil, which is

rum, velvet falernum, and lime.

It's what has

well, yes.

Corn and oil doesn't make it sound delicious.

I think it's one of the things.

Also, if you put that into your Google search browser, you're going to get some messed up shit.

There's no oil involved.

I think it's some archaic use of oil.

Velvet Falernum is the ingredient.

It's like in a lot of tiki drinks.

Yeah, it's a tiki drink.

Okay.

Well, hey, now that we've gotten

now we know you, we've talked to guests, and we could talk about the movie, the topic of this episode, and we're going to do that.

But before we talk about the apartment, we should mention this movie deals with suicide.

So if that's something you don't want to hear about, we're going to play some music and give you a chance to find another episode.

We're back.

It's Free with Ads.

We're here with two-thirds of the Flophouse.

Make a noise, guys.

Beautiful noise.

Guys, this is the show.

Why do we need to talk about the apartment?

We could just make noises.

I mean, that's arguably been my podcast career.

As someone who has gotten into like

doing mouth sounds?

No, getting a lot of used LPs.

I'm just astounded by like the industry that used to exist around sound effects records.

Like, how many of them were out there back in the old days?

Weird.

I don't know anything about that.

I assume it was like a lot of it was for industry stuff, for like radio, but also I think just there was a bigger, I don't know, industrial complex behind people having uh haunted houses and how we're like, I definitely remember haunted house um sound effect like albums because if you had like Halloween decorations and stuff, you play it for trick-or-treaters.

Exactly.

But is there like an artist that is the like yeah, his name's Kevin McAllister.

He's a curator, and he's really trying to keep those wet bandits from entering.

Yes, all right, okay, okay.

Hey, The Apartment, we thought it'd be fun, since y'all do some of the worst movies of all time, to talk about this movie, which is often cited on many best of all time lists.

Should we go around the horn and say if we've seen this movie and what our experience with it is?

I hope you've all seen it by now.

I have seen it.

I like this movie quite a bit.

I watch it periodically.

My

high school girlfriend was a big black and white movie fan.

She loved Audrey Hepburn.

So we watched a lot of these and then kissed, but nothing more.

Because we did not want to anger the Lord.

Yeah, Floppers, have you guys, you guys have seen The Apartment?

I think this is the third time I've seen it.

And each time I see it, I think, like, I still love it, but each time I see it, I feel like the comedy goes down for me and the sadness goes up in this movie.

Yeah.

This movie gets mentioned as like the funniest movie of all time a lot, or like in the funniest movies of all time.

And like when you see those, like an Increman, come on.

Yeah, thank you.

Have you seen Freddy Got Fingered?

And like, and all the, you know, when like on in the Oscars or whatever, they'll have all these hooray for Hollywood montages, and they'll always show Jack Lemon making spaghetti.

Like, that thing is all over.

Yeah.

And that is a very cute scene and is very funny.

But this movie is mostly about infidelity and suicide.

Also, the spaghetti thing kind of reminds me of Benny and June, where he made like the grilled cheese with the iron on the iron.

I'm getting real Benny and June vibes from this.

Yeah, yeah.

I'd actually never seen this movie before.

Me neither.

Okay.

I was, my wife had seen it, but she didn't really remember it.

So we watched it together last night.

We watched it on Tubi.

So this two hours and five minute movie was about a crisp 245 with a

so I probably prematurely took the edible in the middle of the movie, but I will have to say, yeah, I loved it.

Like, it's it's great, and I it was, uh, this was such a great treat to be exposed to because this is, you know, this is the sort of I don't usually look back toward the this far back to movies to watch, and uh, it was, it was fun.

And it's a New York movie.

I'm such like, I'm such a sucker for New York rats.

People, it's kind of like the third lead of the movie, some say.

That's a coolly movie.

No, no, no, that's you're thinking of Fred McMurray.

Oh, right.

Yeah, Fred McMurray is the third lead.

I thought that was New York City.

The guy, the boss, that's New York City, right?

I mean, he kind of looks like if I had to describe New York City in the like, what, 60s, 50s, I'd probably describe Fred McMurray.

Yeah, building of a man.

Lantern jaw, yeah.

Emily, you've seen this before?

No, I've never seen it before.

And honestly, like,

okay, 1960 feels like color existed, right?

I think there were some color movies and still some black and white movies.

Like Psycho came out around this time and was still black and white.

Yeah, but yeah, I think there were color movies.

Back then, yeah, it was a choice that people could make.

Now they don't make that choice.

Yeah, that's what's really interesting to me because it's like when you think about Technicolor like existing and it's like, okay, Wizard of Oz is like two decades before this movie.

Like, why would you still choose?

I guess it's cheaper for it.

Yeah,

I think that's the story about Psycho is that Alfred Hitchcock paid for it himself and shot it on black and white because it was cheaper, but also it's like so effective in the movie, anyway.

Right.

And it's also gore factor with blood.

I would imagine if it was in color, it would be like

too like gory to be in theaters at that time.

Matt, apartment?

Seen it?

No, I didn't.

Lived in one?

I've lived in so many.

I'm in an apartment right now, so I'm really related to this.

How would I watch a movie?

It's where I live.

And I only knew about this movie because I'm currently doing a rewatch of Mad Men.

And they go out to see this movie, and they talk a lot about it in that show.

So, and they're coming at it from the angle of like, it really is depressing to work in an office and be the other lady having an affair with a married man.

So, me watching this movie, I was really looking for the comedy, but I couldn't find it amidst all of the horribly depressing shit happening in it.

It felt like a cautionary tale more than it did a comedy, in a way.

Also, one of the most confusing premises I think I've ever seen in a movie, so confusing that I feel like you just had to live in the 60s in New York to understand why you wouldn't just get a hotel.

I don't fully understand it, but I went with it.

And I'm glad I watched it.

Yeah, if there were easy access to hotels, nothing in this movie would happen.

Let's talk about it.

It's like if cell phones existed during Die Hard or whatever, it's like

the hotel had not been.

Jason Voorhees just burned down the house with all the teenagers.

The hotel was invented in 1965.

It was a hole in the ground.

Nobody paid one slice of cheesecake to stay in the house.

Yeah, why don't they have a gun?

The wet bandits had a gun.

The hotels existed.

Yeah, yeah.

And then

they'd be like Blue Steel.

They'd be like Ron Silver and Blue Steel just blasting everything.

Yeah.

So this movie starts out, as we mentioned, New York City.

Some beautiful shots of black and white.

New York in the 60s.

We hear some voiceovers.

Call it the Big Apple, Jordan, real quick.

Just letting you know.

It's really called the Big Apple.

That's the sort of insider info.

I've never heard of that.

I mean, I'm an LA guy, so I don't know what you call New York.

You know, it wasn't free with heads, but earlier today I watched To Live and Die in L.A., so I feel pretty bicoastal right now.

Hey, it's new york uh our main character just giving some voiceover cc baxter played by uh uh played by jack lemon they call him buddy boy around the office uh he's working

it was getting on my nerves how much they said that do people do my wife was asking me does does anybody actually call someone else buddy boy like is that actually a thing this has yeah this has so much great old-timeyisms in it um buddy boy being one of them but yes it is repeated uh constantly um he works in an office

just clanking away at some sort of number machine.

Insurance is what I insist.

Insurance.

Yeah.

And

yeah, exactly.

He's moving words around for Cold Harbor.

He's trying to find

Cold Harbor.

It's going to pay off at some point, guys.

Don't worry.

This is a movie that every time I watch it, I want to be inside it.

Like this is one of those I want to live in it movies.

I know this office is supposed to seem soul-crushing, right?

I know it's supposed to seem like he's this anonymous drone, but I'm like, I want to fucking put on a tie and go to that office after like

stable work.

God, I knew that.

Well, first off, I love that there's this weird little like hat nook where everybody hangs their coats and hats like right by the door.

The other thing is, like, at first I'm like,

Are they shooting him in front of a projection screen or are they just in a like a huge room full of people like that's wild right like it's so like it has so much depth and like it just looks beautiful and there's just so many people I think they use some forced perspective tricks I think I'm calling this from my memory but I can't say for sure they put like Elijah Wood back there yeah that's right

then Ian McKellen looks huge in the office

yeah

so yeah so he's an officer

great in the office by the way he would have gotten along with Dwight he probably wouldn't have gotten along with Jim Yeah.

And you know, he would have had a crush on Pam.

Yeah, of course.

And he probably seems like it wouldn't have been great to be Pam in this movie.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

I don't know.

These are your only options.

The guys in the office.

Well, I don't know.

The thing is, these guys have mattresses that aren't on their floors.

So

they might be married.

They might be married, and the mattress may belong to someone else.

But As soon as we lost wearing a hat everywhere we went, we also lost bed frames.

Oh, we know exactly what the worst hat is, and I can't wait to get to it.

Oh, yeah.

Cool.

So, as we've alluded to, Jack Lemon, he's a doormat.

He's a perpetual nice guy.

He cannot stick up for himself.

So, he has this kind of shitty arrangement with the married men in his office where he's a bachelor and they use his apartment to fuck their mistresses.

Yes, that is the premise of this movie that you're marvelous.

So he just like has to go out in the cold and like sleep on a bench when these like drunk old men bring their mistresses home.

That's great.

The first guy, the first guy who does it is, you know, just a generic business guy.

And the girl he's taken home has the New York lady voice.

She's a New York lady who works the

It's such a trigger for me.

I love it so much.

Pants come flying right off.

Okay.

If it's within like one or two degrees of marissa tomay and my cousin vinny i'm done like i'm it's over for me you just want a girl who works for mr muchnick and is wants to date seymour

um

dan and stu you're from new york do do this is what all the women talk like in new york right

yeah all of them all of them i don't know when my wife hangs around her uh

her like stepsisters she has four bensonhurst italian stepsisters like all of their accents start going super intense, and it's great.

It like it feels like they're all doing, I don't know, like, if it sounds like all of a sudden, they have all become British actresses who are coming over and doing a New York voice.

Yeah, that makes sense.

It has become more homogenous, but I was this morning I had to take

the cat to get some dental work.

And while I was over there, I was like, oh, I'll have food at this diner.

And it was one of these diners run by a guy that's so New York that you think he's mad, but he's just

an enthusiastic diner guy who, like, yeah, who like talks at everyone.

You're like, why is he yelling at me?

Oh, he's saying something very nice, but he's saying it in a diner voice.

I cherish you.

You're a cherished, regular customer, and I will.

You're the reason I do this.

You want some more coffee, buddy?

Like that kind of thing.

You don't look like you need it.

You seem super alert.

Boy, you're about to get a fucking five-star review.

Emily, Emily you lived in New York for a while did you talk like this when you were in New York

no I do remember when I moved there that I did not think I had a southern accent and everybody made fun of it like when I was there yeah and then I worked very hard to try to get rid of it and then I moved here to LA and then it happened again they were like it's still southern I'm like what I think New Yorkers stopped making fun of me so why is it why am I having to start over again What the fuck?

I was boy.

That's ridiculous.

When I moved to New York, my like Midwestern accent became more and more southern because I guess I just wanted to, you know, stand out from the crowd, you know, Dan?

Well, I also have fake, I had just gotten my implants in my teeth, like put in.

And so I have a little bit of a lisp.

It's like a consonant S.

And the first

agent I had was like, you got to get rid of that accent and you got to get rid of that lisp.

We got to get you a speech therapist.

And I was like, What?

And then I had no idea that I had a lisp or an accent.

And I called my mom in tears, going, Mitch, my voice is horrible.

And then, and then your mom was like, Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

She's, well, no.

And then he said,

he sent me out for an audition anyway the next week.

He like forgot.

He forgot about it.

He like just forgot.

They just like to be an asshole.

A guy who sounds like Joe Pesci said, I sounded weird.

Yeah, pretty much.

That was pretty much it.

So,

as we mentioned, his boss, Fred McMurray, calls him into his office.

Fred McMurray, a giant guy, easily the tallest person in the movie.

It's really weird that his name is Jeff, by the way.

Is it?

Yeah, it's Jeff

Jeff.

Shell Drake.

Shell Drake.

I don't know.

Like, Jeff feels like a weird name for a boss.

It feels like George should have been his name or something like that.

Thank you.

Emily gets it.

Okay.

I didn't know there was this Jeff.

It's like if his name was like Doug, you're like, I don't share.

Jeff is not a 60s boss.

Jeff is a guy you run a paddleboard from in 1994.

Thank you.

Well, and this is a Jeff who we will learn

drives a woman to the brink of madness with his fucking dong skills, I'd imagine.

Wow.

The dong skills on Show Drake.

It's all flubber down there is the thing.

That's why.

I mean, that's how we got three sons, right?

So, good, good, Fred McMurray pulls, guys.

Yeah.

Got any double indemnity stuff that they want?

So, Fred, Fred McMurray starts

using the apartment for sex with a person we will later learn is Jack Lemon's office crush.

I almost called her Shirley Manson from garbage.

No, Shirley and Wayne.

That'd be my office.

I feel like he would also have a crush on.

Yeah, same.

Oh, yeah, sure.

And do the same songs, too.

Like, I would die for you.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Number one.

Stupid girl.

I'm only happy when it rains, but it never rains, so I'm going to take a bunch of sleeping pills.

Anyway, so he's, you know, so he's sad-sacking around.

He makes, there's all these like little signifiers to kind of point to him as a sad bachelor.

He makes a TV dinner, which looks fucking delicious.

This 60s TV dinner looks like

fried chicken you would get from a pop-up.

It looks so good.

Yeah.

We need to go back is what you're saying.

We need to go back.

This movie also mentions frozen pizza at one point, and I'm like, oh, yeah.

Where was frozen pizza invented?

Like right then.

This was the era of frozen everything.

I had no idea that that was like as early as it was.

It was invented by Mario DiGiorno.

Yeah,

eating a frozen pizza was like driving a Tesla.

It was just the coolest, most current thing you could do.

Most cutting-edge problems of it.

And there's no problems with it.

The people who made the frozen pizza.

Unquestioningly, yeah.

This is what they eat in space.

It's cool.

There's a little shot of Jack Lemon in his pajamas going to bed, and you see very quickly that he was reading a Playboy.

I wonder if this was supposed to signify that he was jacking off.

I wonder if this was a secret, like, we can't show him jacking off, but we're going to see him with a Playboy.

So you kind of, he's like a sad jackboy.

Well, there was a lot of like

clues to sexual like behavior.

I mean,

the whole like, they're using the apartment.

What are they doing?

Just necking?

Like, there's no way.

Like, you could do that anywhere.

So it's implied that, you know, nobody's a virgin in

this movie.

By the way, necking,

an outdated term that I read a lot.

Wienering.

How about that?

Yeah.

I read it so much because as a kid, I read all these outdated things in a way that

I feel like we were exposed to so many outdated things in a way that younger people are like, no, we got plenty of new things, right?

Yeah,

we don't need to read copies of the boxcar children that our parents get from the Friends of the Library store for a dollar.

But I would imagine people like literally like rubbing their necks sort of together like sort of like the neck scissoring was sort of what i was imagining

oh yeah the neck can be sensitive i bet you can i guess

yeah

i think it was like you're making out with like kissing people's necks and stuff and you know also the hickey which is such a weird thing that I don't understand why people do.

I got one and I was like...

Intentionally or was it unintentionally?

Sometimes they happen unintentionally when you're necking super hard well I didn't really know what was happening it was just kind of like what's all right I'm gonna let this person do well work out work out what they're doing

and then it was like this big thing and I was like is this what it is it's just marking someone yeah I think it's just marking someone to be like I made out with that person that's I think it's yeah my old school day was like I'll let him suck on my neck he's wearing a really cool insane clown posse t-shirt

honestly that's about right Let's do it.

So

Shell Drake and Shirley McClain, they go, they meet at their secret place.

It's the Rick Shaw.

It is a Chinese restaurant that also serves like tiki drinks.

Tiki bar, yeah.

Cute as hell.

I want to go to this bar.

So every time I watch this movie, I'm just like, Jesus Christ, take me to this bar.

Take me to this bar with a problematic theme.

I just want to have it.

I have written all over it.

I mean, next time you're in town, I have tiki bars I can take you to, George.

Oh, yeah, let's do it.

Hell yeah.

We'll scratch this itch, I think.

Yeah, there's, I also, I also kind of love that he, when he leaves a tip on the table, he tips the coat check girl, and he tips the piano player.

Like, he's tipping everybody.

I love his appreciation.

That's great.

You're like, this guy can't be that bad.

I'm pretty nice to the piano guy.

Yeah, I like a tipping culture as a bartender bar owner.

Well, I mean, it used to be kind of a big shot thing to be someone who tips everyone.

It makes you look cool.

And I think people forget that, that it makes you look like a big shot when you make sure to tip everyone.

And like, no one thinks about that anymore, I think.

I just don't know who to tip.

Like,

I know you're supposed to tip your waiter, but are you supposed to, who else?

Do you tip the host?

You tip the super.

You tip the piano player.

The super in your building.

You should tip your super.

Oh, fuck off.

I'm not doing that.

No.

I tip my landlord.

No, I wouldn't tip the landlord.

Are you going to tip my boss.

I'm going to tip the cops.

I tip the mail player.

Oh, yes, for sure.

I tip the USPS delivery people

at Christmas.

At Christmas?

Yeah,

you leave a little money in your mailbox.

Yeah,

I leave like 25 bucks in a little envelope.

I don't know.

I'll tip a cow.

Yeah.

Hey, thanks for all the milk.

Buy yourself something nice, Bessie.

And then you push it.

And then I push the cow over after I've

I have a laundromat right next door that's 24 hours.

And there's this little short old lady who's always there.

And I tipped her this Christmas.

And now every time I go in there, she's like, how are you?

Where have you been?

Like, she's so sweet to me.

And I'm like, oh, my God.

You bought her so nutrition.

I mean, I tip everybody.

I tip the people on my laundromat at the grocery store, everyone.

Oh, grocery store.

That's interesting.

Interesting.

Yeah, you know, whatever.

Like, they're on their feet all day.

Yeah, you walk at you.

I've seen, listen, I've hung out with Stu.

He walks around with a wad.

The man has a wad wherever he goes.

Believe

claims.

Oh, yeah.

Which is why we need you to go to maximumfund.org/slash join so we can make enough money for us to tip just everyday people we see in our living habits.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I need my tip to have a support.

There's naked people on the internet that need tips to hand tip support.

Thank you.

They have only the fans.

they have only fans to rely on

um so yeah so they're they're at this bar they're like having uh you know they're having an affair it's been going on a long time he she like said no but he wants her back um and we go and she she wants to be with him but she also knows that it's untenable for right she doesn't want to make him leave his wife for this like

she she she is

does she not like she's hung up on him she like she says she doesn't want him to leave his wife for her.

But I mean, I'm sure there's a part of her where she's like, if he were to leave his wife, I'd consider like I'd love to be with him.

Really?

She doesn't?

Because like what strings her along is that he keeps saying that he's going to leave his wife.

And then when at the end he is forcibly

removed from his wife, he like acts like he left his wife, but it's because she left him.

She learned about his infidelity.

Then the character does go to him.

Yeah, I mean, but she says it in, I think, in this scene, the first scene where she's like, you know, I don't want to make you leave your, like, I didn't ask you to leave your wife.

Right.

I think that she's very smart is the thing.

Like, and she does know better in her head, but she's addicted to the drama.

Like, she's

addicted to it.

He's a stud, right?

That's the whole idea.

I want to sing the praises of this character because, like, I mean,

first off, you know, Shirley McLean, immediately lovable in the role, but but also, like, she plays this character who's very nice.

You can see why, like, Lemon has sort of glamed onto her as his crush, and she's

genuinely sweet, but she's also sadder, but not yet wiser.

Like, she's been through a lot of shit, and she is kind of, like, she hasn't figured out.

how to live her life in a non-messy way yet.

Well, and she's also a single woman in 1960s.

Well, yeah, it's like she's being screwed by people too.

But it's just, she's very smart and funny.

And like, I know she talks about how she can't spell, which

I didn't love that.

But, um, there,

but I think it's just clear that like you can get there.

He's string her along over and over again.

And it's like, until you have that experience, you don't really know what's happening because I've definitely had that.

And I've fallen for it way more than once.

Yeah, Dan was bragging about how many women he's trying to learn.

I definitely identify with Shirley McLean's character a lot.

So

they, you, you know, they're wrong for you, and then every time they take you to the Chinese restaurant and buy you the fried shrimp, and then I'm like, I don't know what to do.

I know this isn't going anywhere.

Nobody's buying me shrimp.

I know he's a liar, but I love crab rangoon.

Oh my god, don't make me hungry.

Make her hungry.

I want to see what happens.

No, she's eating the microphone.

She shot a bullet that went to New York and wanted.

Good movie.

So, yeah, so the bar in this I want to go to, but you know where else I fucking would love to just be inside if old movie virtual reality ever gets made.

The Christmas party.

The fucking office Christmas party.

Everyone is singing jingle bells like it just came out.

I don't know when jingle bells came out, but everyone in the office is like, jingle bells,

they love it.

It's like Pink Pony Club.

They just can't stop yelling jingle bells and like getting fucked up in the office.

And like the

New York lady, this lady, she's like dancing on one of the desks and stripping and throwing her clothes to her co-workers.

HR nightmare, I know, but as far as like fun fantasy of what an option is party is like,

yeah, I don't think there was any HR

at this time.

Like, I think the first scene with Shirley McClain, someone pinches her ass, and she's just like, naughty, naughty.

So, I don't think there was anyone they could complain to yet.

So, this is kind of when, you know, the Fred McMurray's downfall starts.

Shirley McClain meets.

He's a tragic figure, really.

Yes, exactly.

Exactly.

The Hamlet of his day,

the Hamlet who can't can't stop getting his dick wet.

Indecision is kind of his downfall, though.

So she meets

his old secretary, who was like his old side piece.

And speaking of the great old-timey-isms in this movie, the secretary asks if they're doing the

old ring-a-ding-ding.

I mean,

does it get

better?

Is there a better old-timey slang than the old ring-a-ding?

Ding-dong in there.

Like it's like...

Oh, yeah.

When did dong.

She's been reading Adam Levine's sexs.

I remember that.

That was fun.

The end of Fidelity ain't great, but good text.

So,

you know, this is kind of starting.

The women are starting to figure out what's going on.

But Jack Lemon, because he's being such a nice guy, he's getting all these promotions and he's taking Shirley McLean inside and trying to impress her with his promotions and he takes out his new executive hat it's a bowler hat and i think easily the worst hat in the movie

the worst hat there it is uh yep and i'm like with this hat i half expected a green apple to be in front of his face

the son of man joke it is a son of man joke

um but it's a bad hat but also represents how he you know isn't like is not seeing the emotional stuff that's going on because he's so like concerned about his career.

Anyway, so she kind of shoots him down and he goes to like drink in another fucking amazing old bar.

Oh my god, am I an alcoholic?

But he realizes, yeah, I mean, I love that bar.

God, that bar is great.

It's so great.

But he realizes that she has been in his apartment with Sheldrake because she hands him

a mirror to look at the hat with, and that little compact was one he found in his apartment yes yeah and he's

and he i mean the interesting thing about this movie is i think that like Lemon is a nice guy in that he's nicer than all the other guys.

Yeah.

So he's not that nice a guy until sort of like very late in the movie.

Part of the interesting thing about this is he's perfectly willing to go along with this shit because it helps his career.

He's like part of the boys club, even if he's on the outside of it kind of.

And he only gets mad because he's like, Oh, that's the girl that I like.

And

so, like, he kind of you know, he learns to be more of a mensch as one of the characters advises him to be, but it takes him a while.

Yeah, being a pushover does not make you a nice guy, like, it's yeah, I think that is a good thing.

It took me a long time to learn that shit, yeah, yeah.

No, I know, and yeah, I think, as you know, as a uh, you know, a beta, I do, you know, see his like, and there's a great

there's a great scene coming up about like that really I think gets at what it means to be a total fucking beta where she is trying to like unload all of her stuff on him and he's and he sets up a game of Jen Rummy and he is just frantically trying to move away from the emotional stuff to play genrummy and to make her laugh and I'm like oh my god this is like you know every

guy or person it me who is afraid of emotions and just wants to do a silly, fun thing because you don't want to talk about emotions.

It's like such a great scene about that, I think.

Anyway, so yeah,

he is a fucking interesting character, but yeah, definitely like not the perfect romantic lead for most of this movie.

I think that's what it's, you know, I think it is showing that journey of him being like a guy who can't do this to a guy who can.

But yeah, it is like a little jarring if you feel like this is going to be a straight ahead rom-com where they're both great.

But

he especially is not great for the whole movie.

Anyway,

so it kind of like the shit is trying starting to hit the fan.

So at this other bar,

there is a, this is a Christmas movie.

Santa comes in.

This happened to me once at the, oh God, that bar.

It's on Hollywood Boulevard, the frolic room.

I was in there on Christmas Eve.

Oh, great bar.

I was in there on Christmas Eve.

Santa and a couple of elves come in from the mall across the street.

And as soon as they come in, everybody in the bar is just like, ah!

I will remember it always.

Watch it.

And like Santa, like, bought a round for everybody.

So much fucking fun.

Sick, yeah.

Anyway, so he meets this woman

who I think Stewart alluded to earlier.

This is another New York lady, and her husband has been taken prisoner by Cash.

I love this.

This was

her very small husband.

And then I was like, oh, God, how old is Fidel Castro?

That's really crazy.

Oh, yeah.

That was the year, I mean, it was 59, New Year's Eve, when he took over,

if Godfather 2 is historically accurate.

So,

yeah, so this is a movie set when he had just

shows how much historical context I know.

Yeah, yeah.

I love this because this is a perfect sad potential hookup because like, you know, Lemon's interested in, well, not really interested in her, but he's like, I don't know, this lady seems to want to have sex with me and I'm mad about the woman I like.

So we might go home together.

And she's like, yeah, my husband's in Cuba.

So I'm out here trawling for guys, you know, kind of is her attitude.

Yeah, so then he's just repeating the same behavior of the people he loathes from work, you know.

And yeah, so

he takes this woman home and Shirley McClain is there.

She broke up with, or she was broken up with by Sheldrake.

And so she took a bunch of his sleeping pills.

So she took a bunch of his sleeping pills and she's like, you know, passed out and almost dead in his bed.

This movie has a very cavalier attitude towards suicide.

Like he makes jokes later about how he tried to kill himself and like some of it's kind of funny, but like, you know, I think if this is something that you're not into, definitely just know that this movie has a, you know,

you know, not super advanced.

And there's like moments where he goes into his bathroom before she goes in there and he takes all the razor blades and puts them in his breast pocket, which seems insane.

I thought he was going to chop his wiener off.

His breast pocket?

Well, because it would slice through the pocket, then

if I went down, gravity would pull it directly toward the wiener down.

Oh, and then she would have to take care of him.

Then she would have to take care of him.

No, I get it.

Like a gravity blade.

I don't like that.

A gravity guillotine where the razor blade just keeps falling down, cuts your dick off.

Yeah, I have to go to the center of the

Sure, we'll do that for the show.

So, we're almost at the part of the movie where Jack Lemon chops off his wiener with his own razor blade.

We're going to talk about it right after this.

You know, we've been doing my brother, my brother, me for 15 years.

And maybe...

Maybe you stopped listening for a while.

Maybe you never listened.

And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years.

I know where this has ended up.

But no, no, you would be wrong.

We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on my brother, my brother, and me.

We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening.

And if not, we just leave it out back.

It goes rotten.

So check it out on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So, how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no.

It's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

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Over the years, I'll let Stuart take this year because he spearheaded it.

But over the years, we've done things like this.

Previous year, we did a lot of movies by Graydon Clark, who's done a lot of schlocky movies.

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We've done like bad TV shows, like we did like Small Wonder at one point, Rubick the Amazing Cube, the animated show.

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So, yeah, this year we continued a reoccurring thing where I make Dan, my co-host Dan, Nelliot, and our friend Juben Perang, what, executive producer of the Daily Show?

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The Flophouse is also here.

We're talking about the apartment.

Yeah, so Shirley Shirley McLean, she's having a hard time.

Luckily, Jack Lemon lives next door to a doctor, the guy we mentioned earlier, who tells him to become a mensch.

So the doctor helps her.

He has a kind of funny wife who says that Jack Lemon is a

good time Charlie, just another fucking great old-timey-ism.

That's a fuckboy for 1960s.

100%.

Yes, exactly.

Thank you for translating.

Yeah, you're just a good time fuckboy.

And so so then this is where all kind of these, we've alluded to each other.

Back then it was GTC Island or whatever.

Good time Charlie Island.

Yeah.

Nikki Glazer trapped on Good Time Charlie Island.

It feels like they're trapped there with her rather than the other way around.

She's like an Orshack.

She's like an Or Shack.

That's the kind of joke I like.

Watch the base.

Yes.

But anyway, so,

you know, so he is trying to cheer her up.

They're playing Jin Rummy.

He's like making her this very cute spaghetti dinner with like a tennis racket to strain all the spaghetti.

Very funny, very cute.

But it's him, you know, avoiding important things.

Real quick, what do you guys think of this apartment kitchen?

I thought it was pretty cool.

I like it.

The whole apartment is great.

Yeah, incredible apartment.

I could see why all of his coworkers want to fuck in it.

Yeah.

It's a nice apartment.

It has a bed frame.

Yeah, I always,

when I'm looking for a place to fuck, I'm like, can I be surrounded by other people's stuff?

In my experience, a single guy, like a bachelor's apartment usually has like a black leather couch, a single black

stand-up lamp, and three rooms.

And the black leather couch has a split in it where there's like stuffing coming out every fucking time.

They got it.

It's not leather.

It's vinyl.

Like it's not leather.

And where was Jack Lemon's Xbox One?

Yeah.

Actually, can I mention something?

Towards the beginning of the movie, one of the guys who's leaving, he's like, oh, I drank all your booze.

Also, what happened to those cheese crackers you had around?

And I'm like, what?

Like,

what are cheese crackers back then other than a cracker with cheese on it?

And why are we leaving cheese out?

Like, I don't know.

I think they had just invented Ritz crackers.

Really?

Yes.

The ones with cheese in the middle.

Pale new checks.

No, I think it's just like

cheese flavored, like a cheese is, you know?

Like,

okay.

I assume that's what they meant.

I know.

It just felt very modern with the TV dinner with the frozen pizza with the cheese crackers.

I was like, what is 19?

At the time, was this a sci-fi movie?

Yeah, like we're inventing new technology that doesn't exist.

Futures now, Emily.

I know.

Yeah.

And if they're thinking so futuristic,

why isn't the case for women changed yet?

Right.

Yeah.

I'm right now when things are perfect.

Yeah, yeah.

We finally figured it out.

It was like watching 9 to 5 not that long ago and being like, Jesus fucking Christ.

The same is not worse.

Dabney Coleman's still fucking us all over.

Yeah, dude.

So, yeah, so this is, we're kind of coming up on the end of the movie.

Shell Drake's wife found out via the secretary, and he moved out, but he's still like

dick and Shirley mclane around and like won't marry her and still like wants to be a single guy and is still using jack lemon's apartment so um at this new year's eve party she realizes what a what a piece of shit he is and she runs to jack lemon's house she again one more fucking dark ass joke before the movie's over she thinks she hears a gunshot but it's him popping champagne she thinks he shot himself

And then she comes in.

He says, I love you.

He takes out the Jim Ronnie cards and she says, shut up and deal.

And there you go.

Yet another moment that will be in every Hooray for Hollywood montage from now until the end of time.

Well,

this was specifically romantic because, like, he was doing Jack Lemon's character, he was doing all of this to get ahead in his career, and these people were just holding it over his head.

Like, all of these dudes in the office were just holding it over his head, and then he finally lets it go.

And that's when Shirley McLean's character is like, oh, he's hot.

Cat!

Do you have a cat?

The cat came in.

The cat came in.

The cat came in.

Get the cat.

This is the newly cat.

What did the cat think of the movie?

Bring the cat over here.

I want to see that cat.

It's a very cute cat.

Look at him go.

Well, yeah, let's continue to enjoy Dan's beautiful cat, but also

let's do our famous segment, Hunk Watch.

Oh,

it's Hunk Watch.

Let's go around the horn and talk about who we think the hunk of the movie is.

Emily, did you have any strong opinions one way or the other?

The doctor.

Yeah.

Oh, the doctor.

Oh, yeah.

A mensh.

I mean, I want someone to slap me in the face.

It's like, here's the thing.

Nobody

knows.

That happens in the movie, by the way.

We should mention that.

Oh, yeah.

So when she's, you know, they're trying to bring her back from taking too many pills.

He takes care of her.

He, like, you know, he, he's so sweet.

Like, I don't know.

He's a sweet man.

He's very dedicated.

Good doctor.

Um, nice man.

And he does slap her in the face quite a bit, like, over and over.

It maybe goes on a little long, in my opinion,

but

just to like get her to wake up.

And I'm like,

all right.

Yeah, and he's, and he's, uh,

he, he admits that, like, he shares everything with his wife, who then treats him like a good-time Charlie for the rest of the time.

Yeah, his wife is cool too.

I like her, but he was, he's handsome.

He's very handsome in his little robe and his glasses, and he's like tall and cares about people.

And I started thinking about it when he was taking care of Shirley McClain.

They had to keep her awake, you know, like, and so he's walking her up and down the room to be like, we're going to go for a walk.

And I'm like, wow, this is when doctors just wanted to

take care of people and didn't really care about being rich.

Because he's still living in an apartment.

He did charge people, though.

He was like, I'm going to bill you.

Like, he's definitely going to bill you.

But it was just his dedication to her was so sweet.

And he was judging Jack Lemon's character, but he not too much.

Like, he was still very, like, I don't know, kind and understanding.

Oh, so hot.

So hot.

Dan, do you have a feeling about the hunks of this movie?

Yeah, I mean, I clarify with Jordan that we're talking hunks of all gender.

So I hate to be boring, but I have to go with Shirley McLean just because

I have such a crush on her in this movie.

Yeah, she's great.

Like, they don't glam her up, but she's still one of the most gorgeous people you'll ever see.

And on top of that, like, you know, a little pixie cut, little, little

elevator opera hair officials.

Some freckles.

And, you know, as

also a broken person, I'm attracted to the sadness.

So

there you go.

Stu, do you have any

feelings?

I'm going to say actor Ray Walston.

You would know him as Mr.

Hand from

Fast Times.

Oh, I thought you were talking about that.

Oh, yeah.

I thought you were talking about that film where the guy fucks a horse.

Freddy's got fingers?

Freddy.

Oh, no.

That's Mr.

Hands.

Oh.

Okay, so I'm on the wrong podcast for a Mr.

Hands pull.

Nice.

Yeah, so in this case, he's one of them good time Charlie

upper middle management taking advantage of that apartment.

And I'm like, that dirty dog, you know?

That dirty dog.

That dirty dog.

Matt, do you have any thoughts on the hunks of the movie?

I agree with Emily.

I think it's got to be both the Dreyfuses who live next door, both Dr.

Dreyfus and his wife.

His wife was amazing when she was feeding

soup to Shirley McLean's character and just getting her to eat.

And there was like,

I just, I recognized that feeling of not wanting to eat when you really should.

And as soon as the spoon was hitting her lips, I was just like, oh, this mom's cool.

I want to.

You know, that soup's fucking banging.

You know that soup is fucking banging.

So

you want to be in a thruple with this couple next door.

Yes, I want to be the third.

I think I just want to be the Dreyfus's son.

But

she's definitely mine.

I don't think anyone's mentioned my hunk yet.

Sheldrake's secretary.

Okay, the glasses are doing a lot of work.

Oh, yeah.

She looks like the girl in high school who I learned to swing dance to impress.

A couple degrees away from Lisa Loeb.

Oh, yeah.

Yep.

Loebesque.

Loebesque.

Loebesque.

Well, yeah, now that we talked about the hunks of the movie, we want to talk about what we thought of the movie movie itself.

And we're going to do that right after this.

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You want to hear those episodes.

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Wow.

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I love how all the shows just do weird off-format stuff for the bonus content.

So if there's a couple Max Fun shows you listen to, definitely like, check out the bonus content.

It's your favorite hosts doing fun, weird stuff.

But you don't just get the bonus content, there's more you can get.

For $10 a month, you get one of our handsome enamel pins and you get to pick the show you get the pin from.

The Free With Ads pin this year is a Hunk Watch Pocket Watch.

So, if you want to

tell the hunks in your neighborhood that you've got your eye on them,

put on that Hunk Watch Pocket Watch.

What's the flophouse pin this year, guys?

Yeah,

it's an image of renowned actor Mads Mickelson as Dr.

Hannibal Lecter, and the text reads, mad about mads, because that's the thing we've said a bunch of times.

We also love mads.

Well, sure.

We're all mad about them, you know?

Mad.

We have no choice but to be mad.

That's $10 a month.

You could pick your favorite show, but, you know, pick one of our shows.

They're the best.

For $20 20 bucks a month, you can pick either the Max Fun bucket hat or the psychedelic Lisa Frank-inspired beach towel, both very handsome items.

What's your pick?

Gun to your head, Jordan.

What's your pick?

Well, of course, I already have my free with ads bucket hat, so I'm gonna go with the beach towel.

Uh, that makes a hell of a towel.

You guys have any opinions, bucket hat or beach towel?

I don't know.

Uh, Dan and I are both in the uh gentleman with a large heads club, so I feel like a bucket hat's a mistake, or maybe it's the only way to go.

No, I want that towel, it looks like you know, like a trapper keeper from like the 90s on several psychedelic drugs.

I feel like that's the kind of beach towel.

If I'm sitting on it and I'm out in like Coney Island or Brighton Beach, then the guy selling nutcrackers will be impressed by my cool uh towel and give it away.

Yeah, impress the guy, yeah, or the police will come, yeah.

Like, uh, why do you have that?

I'm like, this nutcracker?

Because I paid for it, though.

Impress the Nutcracker Man in your life by grabbing the handsome Max Fun psychedelic beach towel.

For $35 a month, you get a really cool Max Fun cooler.

There are higher levels you can give at, and there are cool prizes for each level, including there's a Max Fun cassette player and mixtape.

So that is up there if you're one of the select few who gives $200 a month.

And of course, it's all cumulative.

So if you give at one level, you get everything below it.

But yeah,

we obviously were super stoked if you're in the $200 a month crowd.

But honestly, this show is going because of people who give $5 a month.

We talked about tipping.

We're basically dancing for tips here.

If you tip your bartender a buck a drink, why not tip your podcaster a buck an episode?

It really, really goes a long way.

Your couple bucks a month doesn't doesn't do shit for a giant streaming service from a big tech company, but it means a lot to MaxFun.

And I think the fact that MaxFun is a cool company with good values really, really means a lot.

There's a charity pin sale for members.

So if you want to like buy pins after the drive, your members can do it.

And all that money doesn't go to MaxFun.

It goes to charity.

In the past, they've given to Al Ultra Lato, a charity that does work with migrants this year.

They're giving it to

Legal Help for Trans People.

So it's like

i don't know there's a lot of fucking shitty companies out there doing shit and licking boots it's just nice to work for one that like

you've hell yeah and you've been you've been involved with max fun for a long time i mean this is it's had a pretty profound impact on your life i would imagine yeah no it really has it's so great to be able to do these shows like it's been great to do this show for a year it's been great to do jordan jesse go for 18 years or whatever and

yeah like you know

hey we'd love for this show to get super popular.

Jordan Jesse Goh ain't gonna.

It's Jordan Jesse Goh staying where it's at.

But we get to do it.

We get to do it.

It's got a really clear premise, is the thing.

You inspired the flop house in part.

Your existence inspired us.

Like, Jordan Jesse Goh is so wonderfully stagnant, right?

Like,

more people are not going to listen to it.

We have our beautiful weirdos and we love them, but we've been able to keep going.

Like, despite not growing.

Like, how amazing is that how amazing is that that we can do something i mean yes for sure

cancer cells we stay the same yeah that's right help us plateau but hey without those stagnant um followers i don't think this show would exist exactly

without jordan you would we wouldn't have anyone to lift up your your buddies

to do this show so this show this show's infinitely more appealing to jordan jesse go i have hope that it could rocket into the stratosphere.

It has a premise and likable hosts and also me.

So it could go somewhere, but you know, it is really amazing that you don't have to be like...

Megan and Harry.

You don't have to be Amy Schumer.

You don't have to be Joe fucking Rogan to do a podcast.

It's so nice.

Yeah.

You don't have to sell your soul, you know, to, I don't know, a big supplement in order to actually make a living.

Yeah, or or be someone with like a syndicated

sitcom that they were on, and then you were just bad with your money.

So now you're doing podcasts.

Now you're

talking about your own goddamn show.

Exactly.

So this is for the little guy.

You should have saved your boy Mitchell's money.

Yeah.

That's right.

Exactly.

You should have invested.

That's

tweeting right now.

Topang, get out of here.

Get out of here.

I'm coming for you.

Or the lady who played Topanga, I'm sure they're all interpersonally great.

But the point is,

we have nothing.

That's right.

Without you, give us something.

Yeah.

Yeah, we have nothing but American Eagle credit card debt.

That's right.

So we could all just, you know, donate

maximumfun.org/slash join.

Okay, back to the show.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

We're here with the flop house talking about the apartment.

Okay, we're going to rank this movie on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials.

Since I have seen this movie the most, I think I'll take it home.

But let's start with our guests.

Dan McCoy, what did you think of

the apartment and rank it on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials?

I'll give it nine super loud commercials.

I do think it's one of the most deserving of the

best picture winners.

If you're looking again for a comedy, particularly the older you get and the more emotions you are equipped to feel, you will find it more melancholy than funny.

But it is a wise movie that, you know, doesn't traffic in sort of easy good guys and bad guys at all times.

And

yeah, it's great.

It's great.

It's the apartment.

Stu, what do you think?

Yeah, this was this, as I said before, this is my first exposure.

But yeah, I feel like this is an easy, easy nine.

I was going to say eight, but I feel like you're right.

Nine incredibly loud commercials.

Shockingly loud.

So loud, I was not prepared for it.

Yeah,

it's so fun.

It moves so quickly.

It is like a perfect, like sad, funny movie to me, like that kind of a thing.

Like it is a tragic comedy.

It's great.

Matt Lee what you think

I'm giving this a nine as well I love this movie I'm it wasn't you know it wasn't a laugh a minute

but it was really effective and you know I thought everyone the acting is like incredible and also I I'm a sucker for a movie with a lot of Yiddish in it and this movie is filled with Yiddish it's like it was just amazing they're talking about like at one point he's like, what, a nebish like you?

He's like, oh, that Mishagas at Cape Canaveral.

Like, just, I just love it.

Somebody calls some schnook that works in the office.

For me, I was like, it's raising it one commercial every time I hear a Yiddish word.

So, yeah, I'm giving it a nine.

I love it because in this day and age, when Netflix keeps putting out television shows where Jewish characters are treated as if they are from another planet entirely, and then you get shocked to meet this person.

Yeah, uh it's like

what the heck is chinaca anyway

so you so you only survive on eating bagels i don't understand this also i have never seen a movie ever like everyone asks you live in law so uh yeah i just i love the way that it's incorporated and treated like Like everybody knows all this stuff.

Yes, it's it's natural and it's not meant to be like, look, he's around all these Jews.

I mean, maybe it feels that way for, you know, at the time for people,

but I think it was just like, just part of the New York culture, and it wasn't necessarily like a Jew thing, which I really love.

Emily, what'd you think?

Oh,

that's going against the grain.

I can feel it.

I can feel it.

I'm going to be

generous.

Here comes the pan.

I'm going to give it a seven, and that's me.

generous.

No, no, give it what you want what you want, Jerry.

Just watching this guy get taken advantage of forever, and then watching a woman who's also getting taken advantage of by a douchebag.

Like,

I don't, it's just like, I don't know.

It's such a bummer.

And when they finally got together, I was like, yay.

Like, I don't know.

I was just kind of like.

Two suicidal losers hanging out in the bottom of the bottom.

Two losers are going hang out in this apartment that everyone's gonna probably continue to try and buck in over and over again like they're gonna go i don't care that you lost your job here or left we're now gonna like

frame you for murder or something like i have a feeling that's true i need your apartment i can't come in any other apartment

we're all turned on by the apartment and the lamps

do you think those douchebags are just gonna give up because he quit his job no i feel like they're gonna still be showing

They'll find another nebish in the office.

I mean,

how many spare keys did he have made?

Yeah, just like drunk horny guys are going to be wandering into that apartment.

He only had a few.

And the thing is, is also like you can enter that apartment building without a key at all.

Like, the key only gets you into the apartment.

And I'm like, what?

What's stopping all these douchebags from making copies of the keys themselves?

Like, yeah, I mean, these dudes are so so

lazy to code of honor.

What the fuck are we talking about?

Like, I don't know.

It's just,

it was just a bunch of miserable people and it made me sad.

The whole thing made me sad.

That's it is sad.

I don't want to try.

I'm not trying to convince you at all.

I wouldn't try to convince you to change anything, but I do like how that ending doesn't necessarily feel like definitively romantic.

It's like, well, I don't know.

No, nothing in this video is romantic.

Maybe these guys are going to make it work.

Maybe they aren't.

Who knows?

We don't really know Beyond today.

The soup was romantic.

The thing is, like, also, she was like, I wish I could fall in love with a guy like you.

And now I feel like she's

settling for a guy like you.

This dude she's not attracted to.

I'm going to settle for this guy that definitely doesn't fuck

and

play cards with him forever.

Yeah, play cards and never talk about emotions.

Like, let's see that hog.

avoid our emotions.

Let's drop the hog out.

Let's see what you have.

You should have pulled out your Yu-Gi-Oh!

cards to play with me.

This is like the whole thing.

He doesn't have a hog anymore.

It got cut off when the raiders were easy on the right.

Didn't we all see that scene?

Didn't we all see that famous scene?

He's a real gift to the Magi there.

Yeah.

He was trying to save the life, but in turn, he lost it.

Oh, yeah.

And then Dr.

Dreyfus came in like a moil and said, Look at him.

And then walked away.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

yeah i don't want to watch that movie i don't want to watch it again it was wait were those is that what poppers are for is not just having a good i think they're not just to release your uh relax your buttons

like wait what are poppers i've actually never known

oh

dana's saying that the that the doctor was using poppers to wake somebody up and that was

and my experience is exclusively when a guy's like hey do you want to do some poppers and i'm like i guess i can't find any uh side effects, like negative side effects on the in my quick.

Is this something that happens to you a lot, Stuart?

It happened to me, yeah.

Well, I also make up a story for this.

Of course, that shit happens to Stuart.

Of course, it happens.

Well, it could be smelling salts, you guys.

I can't hear smelling salts.

It's true, yeah, but it's just the way that he's cracking it into her.

Dan's googling Stewart and Poppers right now.

I like thinking that it's Poppers.

I like to think that the Dreyfus's party.

No, no, no.

I like that too.

Sure.

No, no, it's a

depressant, guys.

They wouldn't use it, that would like just send her off to

well, yeah.

Here, I'll round it out.

I'll round it out.

I'm, I'm a nine on this movie, too.

I really like it in like from a vibes point of view, from just like great bars, great, like, old cinematography, like so much, so much fun to look at.

And I was, I was just googling that scene.

Sorry to interrupt you, Jordan, but I mentioned the earlier I mentioned the office scene, how it felt so deep and huge and it turns out they did use like trick photography where they did use like children in suits and then they had like mannequins with like puppets and like to give that illusion of depth so monkeys a lot of monkeys

yeah um so yeah i i like i you know i just kind of like the world of this movie and looking at it but yeah i i think if you if you if you are presented this movie as a rom-com or a comedy, which I think you often are, if people are like, this is one of the funniest movies, this is one of the most romantic movies.

Like, you will be fucking weirded out because it's not that.

But I think that, yeah, for me,

I do, when I get over what a weird bummer it is, I do just kind of like the characters and I like how they go on a little journey and it is not neatly wrapped up.

I like all that stuff about it,

but that is a lot of the stuff that makes it hard to watch.

But yeah, it's the apartment.

It is free, and you can watch it.

Hey, that's it.

We talked about it.

You want to do a little plug-in?

Yeah, I do.

The flop house.

It is on maximumfun.org.

Y'all talk about movies, mostly bad ones.

Sometimes you love them.

Yeah, are there any recent episodes of The Flop House that y'all want to point people to if they haven't heard it yet?

Well, during this Max Fun Drive, we did

our month of three movies that we dubbed as Movies Without Spider-Man, which, of course, were Craven the Hunter, Ben in the Last Dance, and Heartbeats, which definitely doesn't have a Spider-Man.

Well, we haven't watched it yet.

He might show up.

There's still a shit.

He could be in there.

We don't know.

Heartbeats.

But

those have been good.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

We do have like 17 years worth of

Bone Deep Weariness.

But yeah, there's some good ones in there.

Check it out.

Have you been doing it for 17 years?

17 plus years.

Oh, my God.

Damn.

I didn't even know they had podcasts back then.

Crazy.

Yeah.

Of course, we all want you to go to maximumfun.org slash join.

But if you're in the Southern California area,

this weekend, Emily and I are both going to be at WonderCon.

Please come to see us at that.

I will be there Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Friday at 3 p.m., I'm going to be doing a panel on pitching graphic novels.

And then at 5 p.m., I'm going to be leading a spotlight of a great comics creator that I really love, Derek Kirk Kim.

We're going to be doing a reading from his new graphic novel with voice actors from The Walking Dead and X-Men 97.

It's going to be fun, fun, fun.

At 12.30 on Saturday, I'm going to be doing a panel called A Close Look at Graphic Novels.

Just going to be people talking about graphic novels.

And on Sunday at 1 p.m., I'm doing the awesomely named panel, We Write at Dawn.

I don't know what we'll be talking about, but the name is cool.

Yeah,

on both Saturday and Sunday, we will be signing books in the autograph area afterwards.

So please come say hi at WonderCon.

Emily, where can people find you at the WonderCon?

So I'm going to be participating in

Mythical's role for Mythicality.

This is a series that we have on Mythical Society.

It is the membership platform for mythical entertainment.

And we play Dungeons and Dragons.

And we are doing it live at WonderCon on Saturday, March 29th.

From it looks like 6 to 8 p.m.

is when we're doing it.

So please come visit me there.

I might be walking around earlier because I'm hitching a ride with Michaela and Lucas.

So you might see me earlier, but just walking around.

Also,

on Friday, March 28th from 6 to 8 Pacific, I am hosting a little

finale show for Maximum Fun to celebrate

for the Max Fun drive with Jeremy Bent.

And so, yeah, I think you should tune into the Max Fun YouTube channel on Friday, the 28th at 6 p.m.

Pacific.

I'll be hosting.

All right, that's it.

Thank you to the Flophouse for being here.

And thank you for going to maximumfun.org slash join.

Tune in next week when our movie will be Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, the movie from 1995.

Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artists-owned shows supported directly by you.