How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asked the question: why pay max 10 bucks a month to watch Matthew McConaughey go gradually insane from pursuing a serial killer and true detective when you could go online for free and watch him go insane from having to attend a Celine Dion concert and eat a cucumber?

I'm Jordan Morris.

And I'm Emily Fleming.

Today's movie is How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the Y2K rom-com classic that's been embraced by Gen Z, who just can't seem to stop embracing weird shit.

shit.

And with us, as always, is Super Producer Matt ladling out those hearty steaming drops.

Hell yeah.

When are you going to do a new fart?

I'll update it.

You got to let one go for a while.

Eventually, it'll be a silent but deadly one.

That one is.

Yeah.

You won't hear it, but you'll smell it from your iPod.

Do people still have iPods?

Yes.

I think everybody listening to this is listening on an iPod with a wheel.

Yeah.

It's the only way to listen to podcasts.

Yes, and then they'll listen to Sex and Candy by Nirvana.

Yay.

What?

That's RC Playground.

Dude, yeah, but that was old school Kazam rules, baby.

It was just like whatever band you thought it was.

Yeah,

in the days of like Napster, et cetera, stuff was often mislabeled.

Really?

So Sex and Candy, often attributed to Nirvana.

I'm the only gay Eskimo, often attributed to Tenacious D, when in fact it's Corky and the Juice Pigs.

We all know this.

I remember that song.

I still don't know who does Sweet Dreams.

Is it Aerosmith or is it Led Zeppelin?

It's the arrhythmic.

No, no, no, no.

What's that other song?

Dream On.

That's the one.

I know who does Sweet Dreams.

Yeah, I believe that's Aerosmith.

Oh, okay.

They sound the same.

That is such a weird throwback.

The gay Eskimo thing.

I thought that was like Monty Python or something.

There's no way to know because everything was mislabeled.

That's amazing.

Oh, hey, before we start officially, we should say we're taping this on the night that the Dodgers won the World Series.

Matt, you're thrilled.

You're a baseball fan.

Oh, man.

I'm so excited that I got to play a Sting.

Okay.

Dodgers won.

All right.

Do you want to just, do you, should we just like nix this recording?

And do you want to go out and start flipping over cars downtown?

I really do want to, but

I hurt my back washing dishes.

So I am officially too old to do anything fun, even too old to do anything that's obligatory as an adult.

So that's my life.

But you know what?

I will watch people flip cars from the comfort of my own home.

Well, you know what else makes me want to flip cars?

This fucking movie.

So

in celebration.

Buckle up.

So let's fucking go, baby.

Yeah, well, hey, we have one more little piece of business before we get to how to lose a guy in 10 days.

Before we talk about this movie, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.

Other free stuff.

Hey, after months of making fun of Matthew McConaughey's weird social media, we're finally doing one of his movies.

It seems fitting to do an edition of our classic segment, What's Matthew McConaughey Talking About?

In this segment, we go into a piece of Matthew McConaughey's social media and trying to figure out what the fuck he's talking about.

It is the game with no winners because no one can actually tell what Matthew McConaughey is talking about.

What we have here is a recent tweet from McConaughey.

It's a series he does that he hashtags, hashtag iMcconahey, lowercase I.

So I think what he's doing is he's trying to play on iMac.

You know,

you know, that thing that is still real, you know, the iMac.

Yes, yeah.

That thing that's still around.

Yeah, I have it next to my iPod.

It's how I load in all of my songs.

It's how I listen to

Satisfaction by the Beatles.

Right, and Brown-Eyed Girl by Pennywise.

Yes.

So

this is a series he does where he posts like a fake iMessage conversation between him and a fake person that doesn't exist, where the fake person sets him up to like say something deep.

I thought we would do a dramatic reading.

I'll be the fake person.

Emily, do you want to be Matthew McConaughey?

Yeah.

Is Matthew McConaughey the blue one?

He's the blue.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I'm this guy that doesn't exist.

I want to be great at everything.

Okay.

How much time you got?

Not enough.

Hang on.

Let me take that again.

You've really got a character here.

I've never tried to do Matthew McCaughey.

Do you want to take a shot at Tequila and walk around Austin barefoot for a while?

No, but I do have some malort.

Should I do a shot of malort real quick?

Take a shot of malort.

All right, I'll be right back.

Shot of malort.

You can't see this if you're listening, but I just wanted to show off my little shot glass.

I stole it from a restaurant.

Hell yeah.

It's so pretty.

I had to take it.

Okay.

Ready?

One, two, three.

There it goes.

Down the hatch.

We're going to call Chili's and tell him you stole that shot glass.

How did you know?

I know a chili shot glass when I see one.

It's just a little chili pepper.

Okay, hang on.

Okay, take two on I Mac on a Hay.

All right, let's do it.

All right.

Okay.

I'm the fake guy.

I want to be great at everything.

How much time you got?

Not enough.

Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing so be careful what you get good

at

beautiful okay that's it that's what matthew mcatahey thinks is super cheap what is he talking about what is he talking about

all right

um

who is he talking to is the don't don't know they it's just a it's just a

just a bubble just a text bubble they it doesn't there's no context yeah here's what i I do like about this is that in the text, it's got an iMessage, you know, thing.

Maybe it's iMakanahey, like iMessage instead of iMac.

I don't know.

He didn't notice.

Somebody texted him at 9.30 and he responded like within two minutes.

Now that's my kind of guy.

I wouldn't lose that guy.

You know what?

Don't because he, you know, with as with as wacko as he is, the man can return a text.

Yeah.

Especially if it's to himself and it's for

social to post on social media.

To post on social media, yes.

Right, right.

Yeah, Matthew McConaughey never gives you the, oh, sorry, just seeing this.

Yeah, yeah, sorry, been really busy texting back other people with life advice.

Yeah, who is his friend?

I gotta know.

I mean, he starts a text with, I want to be great at everything.

Right, yeah, that's the thing.

It's like, it's just setting him up for this dumb thing that he thinks is.

No one has ever texted that to anyone.

No, it just means focus.

I guess it just means like focus.

I could see that being from some ayahuasca friend.

Ooh.

It might be from an ayahuasca friend.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Maybe

a friend he went on a vision quest with who left the vision quest and realized he was bad at everything.

I feel like half of his blood must be ayahuasca at this point.

Like, I don't think he's always on a vision.

Yeah, when you hear about someone's ayahuasca, whatever, and I have not done it, but I've definitely heard about a lot of people.

So I was like, oh, yeah, like God told me I'm made of stardust.

It would be whack to come back from the thing and go like, oh, like, I suck.

I'm not good at anything.

I talked to God and he told me I suck.

I talked to God.

He said I was mid.

Yeah, this is.

Yeah, this is.

So say is the Lord.

Now I'm mid.

Yeah, we need to hear more of those stories, more relatable ayahuasca stories.

Yeah.

It's always just the same story.

It's like, I took ayahuasca and

now I'm not in tech anymore.

Good for you.

I'm making brick oven pizzas because an alien told me.

Anyway,

so let's

get into it.

Let's talk about

how to lose a guy in 10 days.

I had not seen this movie.

Me neither.

Yeah, I just kind of, you know, I kind of figured we've always been talking about Makana.

Hey, let's do one of these.

He made a bunch of these rom-coms in the Y2Ks.

I guess, so in like boning up about this movie, I guess like people love it.

When it got dumped onto Netflix, it was like the number one movie of, you know, Netflix originals and all.

And I read a little, and like both he and Kate Hudson, the other star of this movie, like in interviews, say they want to do a sequel.

So they're always like teasing this sequel.

And I read an article, like Screen Rant or something, said that, like,

the theory is that Gen Z loves this movie because they like seeing people with jobs and nice apartments.

That makes sense, actually.

That's why we were fucking watching it too.

Like, I don't, like, we watched friends.

We did all that.

This isn't, God damn it.

Yeah, Gen Z, be interesting.

Just like, instead of being mean to us, like, be interesting.

Like, stop making fun of my front tuck and my girl boss mug.

Oh, I'm in the middle of getting my side part back, by the way.

Fuck you for ever making me have a butt cut.

i hated it i hated it i looked like a little point dexter for like i don't know how many years now but it's i'm growing out the bangs i'm getting the side part again you i'm doing it you gen z bullies take a whoops yeah pound sand you gen z bullies to be fair to them uh they are right in that it is like looking at a filmed dinosaur, watching someone whose job it is to write at a magazine.

Yeah.

You know, like those jobs don't really exist anymore, at least

not with an office.

Right.

Well, the thing that, and it's much more glamorous and stuff like that.

And BB Newworth is your boss, which is killer.

But, oh my God, how many movies have we had like BB Newworth pop up?

Yeah, we've been rich with B.B.

Neworth and she, and she, and she's a bright shining light in everything she's in.

Yeah, we've had more B.B.

Newworth than Matthew McConaughey, which is so pretty, pretty cool.

But no, like you need MM when you have BB.

Anyway, I just want to say that.

Why do I like that joke so much?

Who knows?

It's the malort.

Yeah, there it is.

No.

They love that joke in Chicago.

Everybody's cracking up in Chicago.

No, I

the

magazine reminds me a lot of you know, Cosmo.

I had Cosmo growing up and stuff like that.

But it feels like, you know, BuzzFeed kind of replaced type of clickbait

journalism with quizzes.

I mean, and

quizzes and no money.

That's what they replaced with.

Quizzes, no money, and then top 10, this.

So it was quizzes and top 10s, which is not too far off.

But yeah, you can't make money anymore, I guess.

Top 10 Disney princesses only Latina nurses recognize.

It's a great list.

It's got gifts.

It's got

gifts.

And no words.

No words.

Well, yeah, let's talk about this thing.

Speaking of magazines, it opens up in the pages of Composure Magazine.

Emily, yeah, it's kind of like a Cosmo.

It's kind of like a, you know, it's, it's.

What could we have called this magazine other than composure?

Because it sounds like a word that you tell a woman that you say has is hysterical.

Yes, 100%.

Calm down.

Like, instead of getting a lobotomy, why don't you just have some composure?

Sure, yeah.

You know, have some caution.

Yeah.

Instead of complaining about your right to vote, why don't you just get some fucking composure?

Calm down and look at this list of 10 cute scarves for fall.

I can do both.

I can vote and have scarves.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

So, Kate Hudson writes for Composure Magazine.

She's the like, she's the how-to gal.

So, we see these like clips of her like doing the stuff that she's writing about.

There's just an arbitrary clip of her trying to put together like a bed or something and falling down.

I guess that's like rom-com shorthand.

There was some trope, like in a rom-com, the leads have to fall down so they're relatable.

So, like, they just do that in the first, like, two seconds.

This movie is, like, full of notes.

You can just see the notes, like, make her fall down.

Uh, so she does that.

Uh, yeah, we see her getting out of a ticket, but then back at the office, her glamorous giant magazine office where everyone's well-dressed and makes money.

Um, she wants to write a piece on how to bring peace to Tajikistan.

Um, she wants to write about foreign affairs, but the boss, she'll never go for it.

And that's when we meet our other character, Matthew McConaughey, riding his motorcycle through New York City.

Hey, New York City, it's like a character in this movie.

New York City is like a character in the movie.

No, it's not.

No, it's not.

You want to know why?

Because in the first 20 minutes, there is someone that our main character has to get out of bed because she's depressed and she has to get to a meeting in in 15 minutes in Manhattan, and she hasn't even taken a shower yet.

It's and they got

coffee along the way.

She makes it on time for the meeting.

I have never once done that.

I was chronically late when I lived in New York City.

I had been fired from places.

It is one of my, it's the worst.

It's the worst.

You know, I'll say New York is definitely a character, and it is also incredibly miscast because later we meet all of Matthew McConaughey's family, and they're all from the south.

Yeah.

But they all moved to Long Island?

Staten Island.

Staten Island.

They're southerners.

They're all like, hey, welcome to Staten Island.

It's like,

why?

I'm Jim Bob.

And they literally put up roots because there's babies there.

I'm like, who's

what southern person is having babies in Staten Island?

I love the idea of like the seventh generation Staten Islanders who are all just like, we're keeping the accent.

I'm Bobby Ray.

I used to be in the E Street band.

Well, listen, I lived in New York and it's been like this forever.

So people made fun of me all the time.

Oh my God, you guys, I was looking back at pictures on Facebook

recently and I was like, I feel like at my internship in New York in 2005, I only wore flip-flops in New York.

Okay, that's that's I did.

I did only wear flip-flops.

I had two internships that I would run to in Midtown, and I was wearing those brown leather flip-flops that they were rainbow brand.

Do you remember those?

Oh, yeah, sure.

I had rainbows growing up.

Was my only pair of shoes.

I love the bravery of someone who's just like, I don't give a shit.

You can bite my toes, rats.

Well, I just thought that that's what was in style, but I look at the picture and then everyone else is wearing clothes-tailed shoes.

I'm the only one wearing wearing denim Bermuda shorts and fucking rainbow flip-flops.

Did you always have tetanus and rolled ankles?

No.

I didn't.

I was like very healthy in New York.

I don't know.

It's like,

I have no idea.

But the funny thing is the picture of me and the flip-flops and the jean shorts is at a jell-o-wrestling event.

Hell yeah.

Okay.

Even better for closed-toed.

Sure.

Well, I know there's just like loose jello stuff all over the floor, and I'm like, hee hee, bang, bing, ding, ding-ding, ding-ding.

Like, it's just like so dumb.

Anyway, that's funny.

So, anyway, that thing that happened to you is funnier than anything that happens in this movie.

So, okay,

we're going to, we go back to Kate Hudson, and she's going to visit her friend and co-worker, Catherine Hahn.

You know, if there's a minute where you think this movie's going to be great, you're like, hey, fucking Catherine Hahn's here.

Oh, my God.

And

it's definitely a Judy Greer thing, right?

Have you seen that sweatshirt that says Judy Greer should have been the lead?

No, but that's a great sweatshirt.

Yeah, so it's that phenomenon where the best friend is always the more interesting, better actor.

And it's like, let's just make this movie.

Okay, whatever.

I had a theory here.

Catherine Hahn, a guy broke up with her.

She's in like a big poofy nightgown.

Emily, did you want the nightgown?

No.

Oh, really?

Didn't like the nightgown?

Uh-uh.

I had those nightgowns as a kid.

Okay.

They were like these up-to-the-neck flannel nightgowns.

Like as a little girl, I thought they were cute, but they itchy as fuck.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Itchy.

And they don't.

You know the nightgowns, though.

Oh, yeah.

I know the nightgowns.

I had like a red and white one with like a bow pattern all over it.

I'll find a picture.

But my favorite thing to do would be to, we have these registers.

We have an old house and there were these like, you know, registers on the floor where it was like, that's where the air conditioning and the heat comes out of.

I didn't know they were called registers.

I think that's what we call them.

I like it.

Yeah, the little vent guys.

Yeah, the little vent guys.

I would hover over those with my nightgown and let the warm air go up it, but I also peed in there.

I'm sure it's pretty cool.

I don't know why.

A lot of things to pee in.

A lot of things.

I got caught doing it, too.

Like, I don't know.

My friends and I, it was like we would wait to pee for so long.

like, or like you'd be in bed and you don't want to get up.

So then you're going to be.

So you get a kidney stone.

But you know what?

There's a register in your room.

So you just pee in that.

Pee in the register.

Touch your hair.

But you're already wearing a nightgown and no pants.

Just hover.

Hover over it, baby.

It's a great one.

New York sounds fun.

Yeah.

This was Tennessee.

That's Tennessee.

I didn't pee in registers in New York, but that would have made more sense.

Okay, you didn't like the nightgown.

That's a swing and a miss from me.

Okay, so what happened?

Catherine Hahn broke up with this guy she was seeing and their boss, Bibi Newarth, who looks awesome in this, always got her in something cool.

Fun to see her.

Bib Newarth loves this.

She loves the breakup and says, we got to write an article about this breakup.

And then, but Catherine Hahn doesn't want to do it, but Kate Hudson kind of jumps in and save her and says, I'll do it.

I'll write the article and it'll be about like all the bad things women do to drive men away and I'll lose the guy in 10 days.

Bibi Newarth loves it.

Oh my God, start writing that article, she says.

So, parallel to this, Matthew McConaughey works at an ad agency.

Tom Lennon also works at the ad agency.

Great to see you.

Yeah, way to go, Tom Lennon.

A young, young, fresh off-the-state Tom Lennon.

He's in a little bow tie.

It's very cute.

So, so, Matthew McConaughey wants to,

at his ad agency, where he takes off his shirt a lot,

just to hang around the office with no shirt on.

He wants to

be the head of this diamond campaign.

But the boss is like, you're a man.

Diamonds are for women.

And he's like, I'm going to prove to you I know how women think.

I'll make a woman fall in love with me in

10 days.

So he has 10 days to like attend this work party with the woman who is in love with him.

And if the boss deems the woman in love with him, he gets the diamond account.

Fucking whatever.

All right.

That makes enough sense.

Sure, I guess.

I guess my favorite thing going with the movie is how this man knew that she was in love before she did.

Like,

let's tell her how she feels.

Yeah, okay, you're in love.

He gets the diamond.

All right, shut the fuck up.

You're in love.

Hey, yeah.

So they both have their like missions, and these missions will line up in some hilarious ways.

So they're at this like restaurant, and Matthew McConaughey is looking for a woman to fall in love with, and Kate Hudson is looking for a guy to drive away in 10 days.

Matthew McConaughey is kind of scanning the bar.

Hey, I think it's time for Hunk Watch.

It's Honk Watch.

Okay, there's this thing where they're scanning around the bar for like women to date and they

go to all of these supposed comedy choices, right?

Like, oh my God, can you imagine Matthew McConaughey dating her?

And the...

The women they go to are hot.

All hot and infinitely more interesting seeming than anyone in this movie.

I want to shout out the two, like, quote-unquote, comedy choices who I would much rather have spent this fucking movie with.

There's a woman in leopard print who's chugging a Budweiser.

She's great.

I want to see her.

Can I tell you?

She's like a friend.

Can I tell you something?

Today, I wore this leopard print mesh top and like hoop earrings.

And then I was watching this at work and I went, oh, that's me.

This lady.

I'm I'm in the movie she's kind of a big lady she's she's drinking a beard wearing a leopard I was like what's wrong with her it's like in the Sopranos

it's like when junior soprano sees Larry David on TV and thinks he's on TV

so you gotta watch the Sopranos it's a great moment So she she's she's rad and then the other one is like a woman in like a cape who they call like a Babylon 5 or something.

Oh, she's supposed to be wearing her and she looks fucking awesome and I bet she's cool in it anyway.

Fucking movie.

Hunk watch.

These women are great.

So, but they finally land on, they land on Kate Hudson, and so it's on.

They have this flirty, one-word-each conversation with each other where he's like, dinner?

She's like, maybe now?

Okay, let's go.

Uh-huh.

And then they go out and like ride his motorcycle.

It's really hot.

I actually really

hot.

I was like, yeah,

there is some chemistry here.

Oh, yeah.

They're both like, they both are good at this.

The movie being bad is not like their fault.

Oh, nothing like their fault.

Kate Hudson's miscast, but like, but, you know, they both like know how to do this.

Here's my biggest issue with this movie: the level of cringe.

Like, I, oh, my God.

I could barely watch this movie.

I want you to know.

I wanted to, like, leave the room, and then I had to force myself to sit here and watch the cringiness.

Yeah, no, I think

I think Gen Z likes this movie because they have all not had long-term relationships yet.

And so in watching this movie, you're as someone who's like been in multiple long-term relationships and is currently married.

I was just like, you guys should just get your shit together.

Find love.

Find someone you like.

Develop a partnership.

Like, what are we doing here?

Why are we ruining each other's lives?

Well, also, it it was cringe for me because it was like, oh, it's a reminder that

I forgot that I'm not supposed to do all the stuff in this movie.

You're like, so that's how I lost those guys in 10 days.

Well, I thought

now you're not supposed to take a piece of pizza out of your man's mouth and put in a cucumber sandwich.

I know you're always doing that.

You're always buying tickets to Nick's games and making him miss the ending.

Yeah.

No, I mean, it's just

all the stuff that Catherine Hahn's character, they were saying she did, that she was just like, oh, it was the best week of my life.

And they broke up.

I'm like, oh, that's pretty.

A little on the nose, guys.

What are we doing?

I'm in the movie again, and I'm not chugging a beer wearing leopard prints.

Well, I bet you that lady was doing that earlier, too.

So that kind of like starts the comedy set pieces a little bit.

So

they go to this Knicks game together.

Kate Hudson is like actually a big Knicks fan, and so is Matthew Bocanahey.

So, one of the first things she does is like during the last play or whatever, she like says, Get me a soda.

I'm thirsty.

Get me a soda.

And he keeps having to like go get it.

It's such a fucking non-thing.

And he like sees the end of the game on the TV anyway.

I know it's like weird not to be in your seat anyway.

That fucking soda thing sucks.

And then, so it's just like her, it's a series of little sketches where she's trying to drive him away.

She says she got tickets to something.

He thinks it's a nick game.

It's a Celine Dion concert.

Woohoo!

I bet that's fucking great.

I bet it's

incredible.

Incredible.

And there's no way that he left that concert still being annoyed.

Like, maybe he'd show up there and be like, man, I thought it was a Knicks game.

But like two songs in, he'd be like, oh, is this the best living singer of all time?

But also, it feels like.

Celine Dion is

the equivalent to a Knicks game.

Yes.

Also, here's the most if this guy's a giant Knicks fan.

Why does he not know they're not playing?

Yeah, he should have known that 100%.

Anyway, yeah, the soda thing was wild to me.

I can't imagine.

I barely get a cup of water after sex.

I don't know what the fuck.

Someone going back to get

soda.

Going to get a diet soda?

God damn.

Then going back because they got the wrong soda?

Sure.

Yeah, no.

I just get splashed with Gatorade.

He just gives me a sip of his and then takes it back over to the side of his fucking bed.

As soon as I enter that stairwell where she can't see me, I stand there and watch the rest of the game.

That's what I would do.

I wouldn't actually go get the soda.

There's 30 seconds left.

Come on.

You play dumb.

Yeah.

You play dumb.

Oh, sorry.

There was a line.

Well, she can't see.

Fuck her.

Sorry.

So he,

so you know, so it's a bunch of stuff.

She goes over to to his like poker night and they're eating pizza and she takes the pizza out of their mouth and like puts in cucumber sandwiches and they all like gag and I'm like, like, if you make it something weird, write a fucking joke.

Like a cute, like have her having made something really, really crazy.

Like,

but like just.

A vegetable is not that crazy.

I know.

Yeah, it's just this thing of like, guys hate vegetables.

Women love Celine D.

Also, if you were going to

drive away a guy in 10 days, wouldn't wouldn't you just start hitting on his friends?

100%.

Yes,

very quickly.

You could get Tom Lennon in front of him.

By the way, yes, Tom Lennon, you're first.

Yeah, he could get it.

Adam Goldberg, too.

Adam Goldberg.

People sleep on Adam Goldberg, but he's one of the hottest.

He's cute.

He's cute.

90s guys, yeah.

But Tom Lennon, we got to go comedy.

Got to go talk.

Yeah, yeah, we're going comedy.

Anyone who was in the state.

Yeah, exactly.

So, you know, there's a bunch of these things.

He agrees to go see a couples therapist, but they just like dress up Catherine Hahn.

I'm like, oh, that was funny.

Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, Catherine Hahn playing a character.

That's kind of nice.

There's these little like moments where like this cool extended cast gets to shine.

And that's something they did really well in these movies.

Like, we watched, God, what was the other fucking one we watched?

That's based on a book.

Oh, yeah.

He's just not that indie.

Yeah, like that is also a very bad movie, but it like had all these great little performances from like cool comedy actors like doing a good job.

Yeah,

this movie felt a lot.

I was thinking about that, that this movie felt a lot like that, but it was,

yeah.

Like it was how to lose guy in 10 days is definitely, they don't care about being subtle or thoughtful or like really thinking about it.

They're just like, we're going straight to stereotype.

It's yeah, I don't care.

I don't care.

Two big stars that they're taking to the bank.

That's that's essentially what was going on yeah

here getting a paycheck and like i like big broad comedies but like you have to either

ideally you have both either like someone who's written great jokes like it's it's mean girls you know like like just tina fay wrote the fuck out of that script and it's like yeah big and it's broad and it's kind of mean in places but like it's full of great jokes and like oh yeah or you have like a big cool comedy performance like if kate mckinnon was this lead you know like you could see maybe it being something her playing kind of an unhinged psycho but whatever.

Yeah.

So, or Catherine Hahn had just been the lead.

Yeah, I know, right?

Geez.

Yeah.

Kate Hudson, for all her talents, like can't can't do this.

Um, and I will say this, though, I guess.

Who could?

The night before I watched this, I watched the house sitter, and

that's

Goldie Han.

and Steve Martin, and that's currently through them.

And it was like, they both are Kate.

Okay.

Kate Hudson is a singular talent.

She's not exactly like her mom, but

it is kind of nice because she reminds me so much of her mom, and I love her mom so much.

But yeah, but she's her own thing.

It's kind of crazy because this is not the first.

They've done another movie together called Fool's Gold in 2008.

So they were, they were,

they made a couple of these

horrible romantic comments.

Y2K, Bogey, and Bacall.

Keith Hudson and Matthew McConaughey.

So, yeah, so this whole fucking thing goes on.

They finally go to his parents' house.

Yes, his parents' house on Long Island.

Is that where it is, man?

Staten.

Staten Island.

They're fucking twangy southerners on Staten Island.

Oh, us?

We're Italian.

Gaba Ghoul, y'all.

You're going to eat that mozzarella.

Bless your heart.

I'm walking here.

You know, I woke up this morning and I got myself a gun.

That's going to work.

And shots and possums.

Hey, there's a duck in my pool.

Southern Sopranos.

I don't know.

You got to watch the Sopranos.

Get Mad TV back on the air,

Patch would say.

Okay, so this part of the movie is just like i'm just fucking relieved nobody's being awful to each other like oh his family's cute they're playing cards it's cute they're both being charming like this is the most tolerable part of this movie it's like it i'm like okay yeah this is this is like how these movies can kind of be fun they have this little moment in his like she needs to what happens to her where she needs to shower she gets yeah he like they have a funky shower where the handles don't match.

Oh, yeah.

Which I feel like everyone's shower is hard to figure out.

Like, I don't know why that is.

Yeah, a car, like, does that thing in movies where the car hits a puddle and sprays water?

It's like disgusting water all over them while they're out in Staten Island.

And then they have a

hot shower together all over the place.

Yeah, they do.

Well, I mean, it was.

Pretty hot.

It took forever to get their clothes off, though, because you just saw them shuffling around for like five minutes.

And I'm like, are the tits out or no?

Like, what is happening?

Dump them out.

And like, so that was really hot though.

And I, I don't know, I liked that house.

And I really

said this thing.

And this is like when, you know, she's starting to have feelings for him, even though she's been trying to drive him away.

And she was just like, I love this house and all the smells.

and the way it looks and all this stuff.

And I'm like, oh, God, that's exactly like that is the kiss of death.

When you like meet this guy's family family and you like the way the house smells, you are done.

You are done.

You are in

it.

Like, it sucks.

And she is so horny by being in his mom's house.

Like, it's like,

mom's in the other room watching 60 Minutes.

We asked her.

A little.

A little bit.

That's kind of hot.

A couple of 40-year-old teenagers.

I think that I've never brought a...

boy home to my parents.

And I wonder if they make us sleep in separate rooms.

I don't think they would.

Not now.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I haven't asked them because I don't have a reason to.

And maybe I never will.

Someday you will.

Someday.

Someday I'll have to argue to fuck this guy in our house I grew up in.

Like, okay, you can sleep in the same room, but it's bunk beds.

So we have to be in bunk beds.

Oh, yeah.

Well, if that's the case, then I'm going to piss in the register.

So fuck you.

Fuck you, mom.

Fuck Fuck your mom.

Piss it in the register.

Give me that nightgown right now.

Merry Christmas.

God damn it, Ebily.

Just stay in a Marriott.

Just stay in a.

Stop peeing everywhere and yelling at us.

Fucking send us away.

I'm also going to $25,000.

I'm also going to do that thing where I wake up in the middle of the night and open the pantry and I lick my finger and stick it in the brown sugar and eat it.

Oh, yeah, that thing.

A lot.

I could have gotten a spoon.

Okay, so

this part of the movie is like nice.

It's just a relief that it's not like a bunch of bad comedy.

And, you know, you get to see them be charming and it's cute.

And there's like, you know, a connection and some real like observations about, you know, early relationships and falling in love and stuff.

Anyway, so they go to his big work party.

It's a big like diamond gala.

They meet the like head of the diamond company, Mrs.

Dulare,

and she is wearing a bunch of like feathers on her head.

I think this is the worst hat in the movie.

The worst hat.

I was hoping you'd do this.

Yeah.

She's, you know, and she's kind of a kooky, fun character, but, you know, too little, too late.

Movie.

They, they all, they both like find out that each other was like a bet or a magazine article or a diamond commercial or whatever they're trying to do.

They're both mad at each other.

Marvin Hamlish is the musical guest at this at this scale.

Who is that?

He's like a famous, he's like a famous composer.

Okay.

Yeah.

Nose to me.

And it's, it's, it's him, and it's like the actual guy, and he, and I'm just like grope.

I'm just like, something funny happened in this thing, please.

And they, they, they get on stage and have this big like karaoke fight with each other.

And just they tell Marvin Hamlish to like, play this song.

Play, oh, play, you're so vain.

Um, and he just like rolls his eyes and starts playing it.

And this way we're all like, yeah, fine.

And he just has this like, all right, I guess I'm in this movie look.

I'm like, yeah,

it me, Marvin Hamlish.

It me.

He tries to get out of it.

He goes, I don't even know that.

And then he was like, come on, help me out.

And he was like, okay, I know that.

Fine.

I need the check.

So, okay.

Wait, I do want to talk about the diamond necklace.

Oh, sure.

That thing is like, it became incredibly famous, that necklace.

From this movie?

Yes.

I think it is like a

the design is like a one and a I don't know.

It's, I think it might be completely unique.

But um, Lady Gaga wore it when she won her Oscar for like best song.

Really?

Oh, I did not.

Yes, she did.

And people are like, that's the How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days necklace?

Literally, that is what people said.

They're like,

Yes, yes.

Because that yellow dress and that necklace have kind of, they're in every kind of top 10, best,

like, evening gown like list and then that necklace is like if you look up top 10 most uh famous uh look at me i'm i'm being her yeah you're doing buzzfeed i know if you look up like top 10 most important pieces of jewelry in film that necklace is gonna it's gonna be in there interesting okay i did not along with the heart of the ocean and stuff okay damn that's crazy it's a so this necklace fiends watching this movie on netflix over and over again that's me well yeah exactly they i was the audience.

And Celine Dion sort of makes an appearance in both.

Holy shit.

So we should do six degrees of Celine Dion.

Yeah.

She's near, she's far, she's wherever you are.

Wherever you are.

Man, she would have been a great insurance salesman.

That would have been great.

I'm near or far.

I'm wherever you are.

So, oh, this is, you know,

we're almost at the end.

Let's take a break and we'll talk about the fucking dumb conclusion of how to lose a guy in the universe.

We hate it!

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And

maybe you stopped listening for a while.

Maybe you never listened.

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I know where this has ended up.

But no.

no, you would be wrong.

We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah.

You don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on my brother, my brother, and me.

We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening.

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Sure.

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Fuck.

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We're talking about how to lose a guy in 10 days.

How do you lose a guy in 10 days?

Show him this movie.

Boom!

Fucking roasted.

I'd hate to be this movie right about now

because I would suck.

Anyway,

so, you know, they don't like each other because it's the third act and the thing happens and they don't like each other.

But then Kate Hudson is like crying to Catherine Hahn, who has a big cat, of course.

She's a sad cat lady.

Oh, yeah.

And then, and then there's a knock at the door and the guy that dumped her in the first act, he's back.

Mike, Mike's back.

I think Mike's the tallest person in the movie.

Tallest guy.

There it is.

And the whole, so she and Mike are reconciling.

And the whole time I'm close the door, the cat's got to run out.

It's just this fucking thing when you have a cat and someone leaves the door open, you freak out and can't concentrate on the movie.

Yes.

Close the door, Catherine Hahn.

And then the next day, the article comes out.

Matthew McConnell flips through the article.

It's three pages long, this thing.

It's like huge type.

It's like, whatever.

So he reads it, and you know, it's this thing where

we don't actually read the article, but just something in it moves him.

He realizes that she was in love the whole time.

And

so he like runs to her office, classic rom-com ending.

They are like, he's like, where's Kate Hudson?

And they're like, she just left for a job in Washington.

So

he, of course, jumps on his motorcycle, like chases after her cab.

The cab pulls over and they kiss and the movie's over.

Okay.

So fucking stupid.

Yep.

That's the end.

I'm sorry, but this whole thing about like, I just want to write about politics.

Show her reading once.

Like, show her being interested in politics once.

I think it's actually an interesting character.

Sure, it totally is.

I know.

And so

being forced to write like this schlock when you really want to do something serious is totally like fine and I think relatable in some sense, but show her being that interesting.

No,

the only other personality treat they gave her was sports.

Yes, that's it.

They just gave it the Knicks.

Like she likes the Knicks and also politics.

Like why?

I don't know.

We never met her parents or her family.

It's like it's just she's a blank slate of someone pretending to be someone else.

He was a way more fleshed out character than she was and she's supposed to be our main character.

It is.

He actually has no good reason to be in love with her.

No.

The whole movie was him being kind of nice.

yeah, and him being shit on.

And then it ends where he's just like, oh, wait, I am in love with her.

Why?

Why?

Yeah.

Because she was nice to you one time with your parents.

She was acting insane.

And, like, the idea of a person ping-ponging like that between insane and nice to your parents.

Like, yeah, anyway, I mean, red flags.

Listen, we've all ignored a red flag or two, it aren't.

Yes, we have.

We've all done it.

Armchair quarterback.

I know what they should have done.

My excitement is 2020.

But, you know.

I love red flags.

Sure.

They mean goat.

I sail the boat toward the red flag.

My boat is made out of red flags.

Wow.

I tied together red flags.

Anyway,

we want to talk about the best lines, but I do think

it's worth doing a little dive into the comment section.

Comment section.

To look...

Into the comments section of how to lose a guy in 10 days is to stare into the face of madness.

If they ever do another Evil Dead movie, instead of reading the Necronomicon, they should read the comments of how to lose a guy in 10 days.

And that's how you get Satan inside you.

Because the fucking insane shit that's in the comment section of how to lose a guy in 10 days is crazy.

Okay, here's just one.

I had to cut out my own children.

I spoiled them to the point that they no longer respected me.

They loved all I did for them and the money and I love I spent on them.

They never complained about the vacations and gifts and good life, but had a problem when I demanded respect.

It is what it is.

C'est la vie, smell you later, take care, brush your hair, go kick rocks.

Am I turning into a toad?

That was like a spell.

Is this

comment section the perfect place to go scream into the void?

I think it is.

I think it's just the void people go and scream into.

Maybe it is.

Maybe, yeah.

They're just doing

primal shitposting therapy.

I propose propose a new recurring segment.

Sure.

I'm going to put something crazy in the 10 ways to lose a guy or whatever, in 10 days, whatever.

I'm going to post something absolutely unhinged in this comment section

and see if anyone notices.

I like it.

Oh, so we'll check in with it.

We'll check back in.

Okay, Emily.

Emily, you'll do a post between now and the next episode, and we'll check in and see what

you kind of whack.

Emily being the new how-to girl.

There you go.

How to get blocked or banned from YouTube because of a comment section.

Maybe you'll get a job at Calm the Fuck Down magazine.

I love reading why are women like this?

Sure.

Did you get the newest issue of your shouting in the restaurant?

Anyway.

Love reading Are You On Your Period?

Sure.com.

Aunt Flo's monthly visit.

That's when the magazine comes.

So, all right, so let's talk about some of the lines in this movie.

Best lines.

Okay, so there's one of the wacko things she does is name his penis in this little

segment.

There's Princess Sophia.

Come out and play.

Who's Princess Sophia?

No, no, no, no, no.

You're kidding me, right?

Princess Sophia.

Little pig, little pig.

I don't know.

We want my dad.

So they call back that fucking Princess Sophia thing 40 times.

They thought this was so funny.

And I love just like, it's the laziest movie.

Just during the sex scene, they're just playing.

Just like, when has that anyway?

Yeah.

Has anyone in the history of Soprano Sex ever actually fucked to it?

Like after 1997, maybe.

Like, well, even Kenny G's, like, turned this off.

Yeah, Kenny G's, like, this is just for the dentist.

Okay, well, can I be a little gross?

Please, you may.

And do my hunk watch.

Yes.

Oh.

Oh, there's a hunk we haven't talked about yet.

Yes.

Go ahead.

Again.

It is just Matthew McConaughey's torso.

I mean, he's not.

He's not.

She rips the shirt open and starts making fun of his penis.

that woman is into some BDSM.

Like, I mean, I couldn't, I wouldn't be able to make fun of his penis.

It's called femdom, and there's nothing wrong with it.

Okay.

Okay.

Some of us want to be called little worms.

All right?

Princess Sophia's.

Yes.

God.

Little worm is fun.

I got to be honest.

This is a completely unrelatable part of the movie to me.

I think it's only relatable if you are so hot that you literally could just have sex whenever you wanted, in which you would complain about what a woman calls your penis, whatever.

I mean, that's all three.

They're going to touch it.

That's amazing.

Cool.

I'm just happy they're going to touch it.

Call it Shrek.

Fine.

Yeah, I don't give a shit.

The fact that he's like, no, it needs a cool name.

I was just like, you fuck way too much then.

You don't deserve sex.

Yeah, Shrek.

It's a little swampy and it smells like onions.

Yeah.

And has a friend named Donkey.

What does any of this mean?

Which is also an ass.

Yes, okay, yeah, okay.

Yes, yep.

All right.

Both of you are named Shrek in the book.

Cool.

Yeah.

All right.

We're cool with it.

We said, go ahead.

I can be Shrek.

I hate myself.

All right.

Okay.

I thought this opening was kind of insane with the the women's magazine that was called uh you know take her kids away she's nuts or whatever whatever the fuck the name of it is.

No matter what, yeah.

So

BB Newworth is kind of the, you know, anna winter of this whole magazine.

And all the ladies are gathered around for pitches.

And poor Catherine Hahn, they're like, oh, she's not having a good day.

She got broken up with.

And this is what transpires.

I wasn't feeling very well.

She got dumped.

Oh,

no, Michelle.

What a hellish ordeal for you.

But I must say you are looking fabulous.

Are we loving the way she looks all?

We are

so right.

She looks great.

I haven't eaten since the split.

Good for you.

Write about it.

Like that, I love it.

That was a funny line.

That was a funny line.

It was funny because it's also just like

it was.

The movie seemed kind of self-aware at the beginning about how like stupid these

magazines can be and how they're like all of these tips and tricks and stuff are actually very hurtful to women but it's it was like i liked them painting bb norwith as kind of this villainous boss yeah and then they didn't really

yeah they teased it like it was going to like the movie was going to make a statement about these kinds of yeah magazines and articles and then they said no forget it it's just uh we're just going to watch them be mean

yeah

it was well i was kind of excited i was like oh i haven't seen this movie because it seemed kind of i don't know i didn't really want to see it and yeah but then i saw that was like okay this is like you got catherine hahn you got bb neworth also shalom harlow is you know the two business ladies who work at the diamond place right that are like trying to they're in competition with matthew biconahey shalom harlow is the very tall brunette who is like one of the most famous supermodels of all time.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

And it was really cool to see her in this movie.

I loved it.

Yeah.

She was like, look at all these fabulous women.

And then it was like,

Princess Sophia is a dick.

It was like, oh, I don't know.

So much potential.

Yeah, I know.

The first like 10 minutes of this movie, you're like, okay,

all right.

Hey, all right.

This might be.

And then, yeah, just

Princess Sophia until the fucking end.

Okay, we're going to rank How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days on a scale of one to ten Super Loud commercials when we come back.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news, we still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined!

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

We're going to rank how to lose a guy in 10 days on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials.

Matt, you want to go first?

Yeah, we're giving this bad boy a hot two.

One, two.

And that is one point for being New York.

Did you just say hock two?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm giving it a hock a fortune.

Learn to count with memes.

Three moo dangs.

Yeah, three moods.

Four, I like turtles, kids.

Yeah, no, I give them any more memes.

Yeah, that's it.

That's all there ever was.

Yeah, I give it two because,

you know,

it was mostly bad, but I did like for a second this fantasy world of having a job in a magazine.

And I did think they had chemistry.

So, you know, that's what they got,

uh, Emily.

What do you got?

All right, I'm gonna give it a three

because of Baby Neworth and Catherine Hahn.

Like, it was, I was happy to see them.

I loved the first 20 minutes, I was very intrigued.

All of the romance and back and forth was so painful for me to watch

that I didn't give a shit what happened at the end.

Also, I guess I give a like a half a point for diamonds.

Um, okay, So 3.5, I guess.

But I don't want to watch it again.

But, you know, there it is.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll go ahead and finish this out.

I'm going to give it a zero.

Wow.

Wow.

You know, for all that stuff that happened in it.

I respect you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I'm a man of, I'm a principled man.

I want to make a difference.

That's right, Princess Sophia.

You are.

Really me, a princess?

Oh,

that means I will be queen queen someday when Mama passes away.

Mama is my balls.

Mama, yes, my balls are mama, the queen.

This is fun, I guess.

We're doing the best we can.

I don't

okay.

That's how to lose a guy in 10 days.

We'll do a little bit of plug-in here.

On November 9th, I am going to be at Berkeley Public Library Comic-Con at the, you guessed it, Berkeley Public Library.

Yeah, it's a free event.

There's going to be a bunch of cool cool comics folks doing panels, signing books.

Hey, a signed comic book.

Great holiday gift, by the way.

Come grab one at the Berkeley Public Library Comic-Con.

I'm going to be doing a panel at 11 a.m.

with my good buggy Maggie Takuta Hall, brilliant comics writer, and a bunch of other cool folks.

So come to the panel at 11 a.m.

and get some signed books.

Why don't you?

Berkeley Public Library Comic-Con.

You can go to BerkeleyPublicLibrary.org to find out more information.

Emily, got anything?

Yeah.

Good Mythical Tour is coming back the weekend of November 15th and 16th.

I don't know if those are the dates of the shows, but it's on that weekend.

You figure it out.

Sorry, I should be a lot more thoughtful than that.

But that's what we're going to do.

That's an easy Google.

That's an easy.

Yeah, just Google the shit.

And there'll also be a link in the show notes.

Oh, yes.

Thank you, Matt.

But yeah, we're going to be in Texas.

So two different places in Texas.

I know one of them's Dallas.

I'm going to try to do some stand-up while I'm there too in Dallas.

So I will probably have something about that coming soon.

But I love you.

All right, that's the show.

Tune in next week when our movie will be Son of Godzilla.

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