Son Of Godzilla
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Transcript
This is Free with Ads, the podcast that asked the question: why pay Paramount plus eight bucks a month to watch cutesy CBS family sitcoms when you can go online for free and watch the heartwarming tale of a single dad and his beautiful chonky son, who just happened to be radioactive lizards?
I'm Jordan Morris, and I'm Emily Fleming.
Today's movie is Son of Godzilla, the 1969 kaiju classic that proves Godzillas can have it all: the job, the kids, and the victory over giant spiders.
With us always is super producer Matt blasting us with the best drops in the biz
oh
that was that was a that was a woman moaning
you wanted me to update
I wanted you to update it your heart out fat boy Slim
I wanted you to update it, but I was hoping for a new fart, but I thought.
You wanted a doyo-o-ing?
Is that what you wanted?
No, a new fart.
Well, it's way better than a fart.
It's someone going through.
It's true.
Probably because they just farted.
Exactly.
That's the feeling of farting is you moan a little bit.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Really?
Well, we're all built different.
There you go.
We're all different.
Very well said.
I don't mean to kick shame any nasty fart comers out there.
We think you're beautiful.
Come when you fart.
That's okay with us.
Yeah.
Before we get into this movie, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads, we want to first tease a very exciting development we'll be talking about a little bit later on the show.
We got merch.
There is no officially free with ads merch for y'all at the Max Fun Store.
Go to maxfunstore.com to see our new t-shirts, pint glasses, stickers, and a hat that says the worst hat.
Yay!
More on that later.
Make sure to check it out at maxfunstore.com.
Okay, before we talk about Son of Godzilla, we want to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.
One of my favorite niche interests is when public libraries try and be funny online.
I just, I love, I love a public library social media account that tries to do memes and jokes.
It's always really, really delightful.
My hometown library, the Pasadena Public Library, used to have a pretty strong meme game, but they seem to have given it up in favor of just informational postings about, you know,
craft time
and, you know, free COVID tests and all this basic ass library shit.
But
I did see a really great public library comedy post.
This is from an account called My Chat 3 Tease, MyChat3Tease, who I believe is a Milwaukee Public Library employee.
And they made this video at the Milwaukee Public Library.
First, y'all are familiar with the I Hope She Plays Hot to Go meme.
Yes.
I do not know that meme, but I can assume what it is.
It's Chapel Roan.
Right.
I know that's, but I know it's a song by Chapel Roan.
Is this the new Free Bird?
Kind of, yeah.
I think back in our day and our parents' day,
people would just yell Free Bird at any concert they were at, regardless of if Leonard Skynyrd was playing or not.
And yeah,
I think you're probably right.
I'm not exactly sure how this is getting used in the popular consciousness, but I think it is kind of that, Matt.
I think that
people just say, I hope she plays hot to go.
Don't know the zenith of this, but it is in reference to the channel.
Honestly, Matt, that's a brilliant comparison.
I never
thought about that.
When you aren't keeping up with popular culture, but you remember old-timey popular culture, you can kind of
guess what memes are about.
Yeah, that's that millennial superpower that we all have.
Right.
Yeah.
Sure.
I mean, Mu Dang is just lassie, right?
Exactly.
Same thing.
Mu Dang.
Nothing new.
Another Harambe.
We get it.
You know?
Dicks out for Mu Dang as well.
Yes.
There's nothing original, even in the memeiverse.
Right.
Dicks out for whatever animal comes next.
The cutes.
The kids are gone.
Take your dick out for it.
Anyway, so this is the Milwaukee Public Library's take on the Hot to Go meme.
I hope she plays Hot to Go.
But this is the Milwaukee Public Library.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I hope she plays Hot to Go.
He whispered it because he was at the library.
You're not supposed to talk loud at the library, so he whispered it.
It's so funny.
I love that.
It's great.
And
you have to see the enthusiastic but stilted acting.
Yeah.
You really should look this video up.
Matt, please link to this.
Oh, I will.
It's very funny.
I like when people do bad acting on purpose as part of the joke.
It makes me appreciate it more.
Like, they know it's corny.
And I love it.
So next week, I'm going to bring, there's these two old guys who work at a fancy wine shop, and they do this.
Oh, good.
Okay.
It's so cute.
So I'll bring the wine shop, guys, next time.
Yeah.
And if you, and if you out there are listening and have any unlikely people participating in the hot to go meme, please send it to us.
Free with ads at free with ads at maximumfun.org.
Yeah, give us pharmacists,
give us state troopers, war criminals,
war criminals, yes.
Any of your favorite war criminals on social media just goofing around with the latest memes,
Sanitation workers.
Yeah, yeah.
Whoever.
Post office.
Oh, we would love to see some postal workers doing the Hot Deco meme.
Please send us free with ads at maximumfun.org.
Okay, why don't we talk about Son of Godzilla?
Oh, so excited.
Have either of y'all seen this movie?
I saw it for this.
Okay.
That's okay.
I had not seen it, and I was so glad that we were doing another Godzilla movie because it meant i got to play the godzilla sting
yeah
a legendary sting for a legendary monster and i beat the music for this it's it's great it's great music the music in this is gorgeous it is really beautiful music it's from the 60s so it all sounds a little austin powersy uh it's like this orchestrated music but there's a lot of bongos and hand drums and since it takes place on an island there's like some you know like uh kind of of tropical themes in the music.
It's, this is such a, I love this movie so much.
And yeah, like the music is a big part of it.
It's like way more beautiful than it needs to be for this puppet fighting movie.
How much did you know about this?
Have you seen this movie already, George?
So, yeah, I was a big Godzilla kid.
We had a VHS tape of this that I watched until it broke.
Damn.
It was one of those where I watched it so much that the tape broke.
We got it for $5 out of a bin at Kmart.
This was one of those, like,
Kmart always had a bin of Godzilla movies.
And if I was like, if I didn't, like, pitch a fucking fit in Kmart, I would get to dig through this bin of VHS tapes that had like Godzilla movies and then like Casper the Friendly Ghost cartoons.
And
yeah, I, I, I loved this movie as a kid.
I had not watched it as an adult, but um, when we were watching that fucking awful 1998 Godzilla movie, I'm just like,
where's this chunky little son?
Chunky little son.
And it had the little babies who were kind of cool, but they weren't son of Godzilla.
They weren't chunky.
They weren't cute.
They weren't fun.
This movie is both cute and fun and makes me want to do a deep dive on more Godzilla because
this was so campy and funny.
that I'm not sure if the original Godzilla is also a comedy.
Yeah.
This is our second Godzilla movie, right, Matt?
Yeah, I think so.
That's what it is for me, too.
Oh, nice.
So you've seen the Matthew Broderick Godzilla and this one.
Yep.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Yeah, these are kind of everywhere in the Free With Adsiverse.
So definitely, if folks are into it, we'll definitely watch a little more Godzilla in the future.
We kind of are the Kmart bin.
Yeah, we are the bargaining.
God, you're absolutely right.
This is a podcast about that bin.
Listen,
if you're good with mom while she's doing her errands, you'll get to listen to one episode of Free With Ad.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So don't run off.
Don't cry.
Just hang back while mom gets stamps.
Goes to the dry cleaner.
That's right.
Well, yeah, let's talk about Son of Godzilla.
So it opens up with a little tease.
We see this plane flying around in a storm, and they get some readings.
There's a lot of people getting readings in this movie.
They're getting all sorts of concerning readings on screens.
And you know what?
It's Godzilla.
He pops out of the water.
You get this close-up of his face.
This Godzilla face is fucking hilarious.
It has giant pupils.
My first reaction when they just zoom into this Godzilla face with giant pupils is, oh, that's me when the Oedipal hits.
Every shot of Godzilla or any monster in this movie, you could use the caption, that's me when the edible hits.
I mean, it looks like the googly eyes from like, you know, straight up from Michaels.
Yeah, they are just googly eyes.
And that is my first time ever seeing what I would consider maybe an OG Godzilla.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, so.
Again, I ask, is this,
are all Godzillas this funny?
Like, are they all googly-eyed, hilarious guys in suits?
Yeah, so this era of Godzilla, like the 60s and 70s, this is kind of like, this is kind of the vibe.
And fun fact about this particular Godzilla suit, I was reading about it on Wikipedia.
This is the girthiest Godzilla suit.
So,
you know, that proves that it's not just important that your Godzilla is long, but he has to also be wide.
That's right.
That's the motion motion
of the Godzilla coming out of the ocean.
I also really
like how spongy they look.
They look like they're made of stress balls.
Yeah, exactly.
That same material.
And I wanted to squeeze it.
Sure.
Yeah.
Concerned about the news?
Just squeeze a Godzilla.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, everything is so like tactile and fun looking looking in this movie.
So yeah, definitely like Godzilla suits get a little more like the original Godzilla is a little scarier, a little monstery, or as they get into like the 80s and 90s, he looks a little more like monster-y, but this is just like fun, goofy, pro-wrestler Godzilla.
And yeah, I
there's so many good Godzilla movies with so many different tones, but this stuff is very close to my heart.
I love this version of it.
So yeah, this is a goofball Godzilla that we get a lot
throughout this time.
So, you know, in this little thing,
the guys see him on their radar screen, and Godzilla's headed towards an island, Saw Gill Island, and the people are like, he must be looking for something.
I love it in these movies where people try and get into Godzilla's head and assume what he's thinking.
Yeah, they see a giant lizard who like spits fire and screams, and they're just like, oh, he looks like he has to go to the bathroom.
Is that it?
You know what?
He looks lonely.
Is he trying to make friends?
Like, why are you putting yourself in his shoes?
Is he questioning God?
Does Godzilla believe that there is no higher power?
Is he trying to smash capitalism and install communism?
So, yeah, so this is Godzilla.
He's going off to this island, and that's when
we kind of cut away from this cold open to kind of the main plot of the movie.
It is a bunch of scientists.
They're on Sawgill Island.
They're looking at screens.
They're doing science stuff.
Someone says this is no place for human beings.
A bunch of kind of just generic science guys we get throughout this thing.
And then they see a plane fly overhead.
They get readings on screens that a plane is flying overhead.
Our 13th reading on a screen so far in this movie that's been on for two minutes.
And two two
little parachutes drop out.
One of them is Goro.
He's a newspaper man and he's looking for a story.
The other parachute was his luggage, I guess.
I don't know what that other parachute was.
So he's like, I'm here looking for a story.
He does not seem to have any information other than a story might be here.
Yeah.
What's going on in that island?
Probably a story.
Oh, I have a plane to
parachute over.
Yeah.
I got confused by this because there were two parachutes and they both were long, like people.
Yeah.
And then he was like, that's my luggage.
Go get it.
And I'm like,
oh, does he actually say that?
Okay, then it was his luggage.
But it was like, but I'm like, how much luggage did you need to bring those two really cool shirts?
Yeah, he seems to not have that many shirts.
Those shirts are so rad.
I
love them so much.
The clothes in these Godzilla movies are awesome.
They're all in the late 60s, and everybody looks great.
I watched Godzilla versus Megalon the other day, which was two years before this.
And like, yeah, again, everybody looks like an extra in Austin Powers.
They look so fucking cool.
Well, it also feels very Steve Zizu.
Like, it definitely looks like this was a little bit of an inspiration for that.
And I love it because the technology looks like it's made of nothing.
And
people are, I love the technology in this movie so much it's just people getting up and moving around and pushing buttons and it reminded me so much of when i was a kid and i would like pretend i was a doctor or pretend i was an astronaut or something and you just like put out bottles of you know your mom's olive oil and stuff and pretend that you're like all right let's turn it up to a thousand and stuff and it's mom can you buy some flasks i need i need some test tubes and flasks
and burner for this.
Why don't we have a Bunsen burner?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, totally.
And the movie does have a little bit of a little kid logic.
And I think these movies maybe were being made for kind of kids at this point.
So it definitely has like a little kid's
logic of science and like relationships.
So that's like a fun part of this.
And I think probably why I liked it so much as a kid.
So yeah, so Goro's...
Goro's strategy for finding a story.
They don't want to tell him anything because it's a secret lab.
And his strategy is to just sit with his arms crossed.
He just is like a little kid who's pouting, who doesn't want to go to church.
He just sits with his arms crossed until I'm not leaving until I get a story.
I don't know.
What about?
Yeah.
And then.
And the meat, they like gave him a meal and he is refusing to eat it out of like protest.
But it looked like they gave him a raw hamburger patty.
And I was like, why do I want to eat that?
This kind of looked appetizing.
Yeah, so he's just pouting until he gets a story.
He gets a talking to from the kind of main scientist guy.
Hey, I think it's time for Hunk Watch.
It's Hunk Watch.
Main scientist guy.
The professor?
The professor.
He has like gray in his hair.
I think it's painted in.
I think it's,
you know,
salt and pepper.
He looks amazing.
He is always chomping on a pipe that is never lit.
The pipe is not lit once in this fucking movie, and he's just chomping on it the whole time.
Love this guy.
That's exactly my hunk watch, too.
I totally agree.
Yes, he's so cute.
Mine was a praying mantises.
Ooh.
Poke me, mantis daddy.
Put me in your jaws.
Put me in your jaws.
Make me writhe on the ground like a baby Godzilla.
Poke me with your claws till I open up like a baby Godzilla egg.
Crack my shell.
I don't even know.
Make a spider spray me with webs.
Oh,
you're right.
This is a horny movie.
Yeah, it's a little hornier than the G-rating might portray.
So their solution is just to give this reporter, they're not going to tell him what's going on, but they give him a job.
They say he can like cook the food for them.
So I guess he's just employed by this secret science lab now.
Yeah.
So he doesn't know what's going on, but just starts being their chef.
He goes out kind of exploring on the island looking for vegetables, and he sees an island babe swimming around out in the water.
A random island babe.
During this, he's wearing...
I do think that people mostly look great in this movie.
He's wearing this very tactical hat that has like flaps and like ventilation.
Probably very functional, but it is unattractive.
So I'm going to go ahead and call call it the worst hat.
The worst hat.
For sure.
He didn't like the hat either.
Uh-uh.
I mean, he was so stylish otherwise.
I loved everything else he was wearing.
Also, he has this little
camera that I know I've seen in other movies where it's like flat
and it's got a little tiny, so it looks like a little tiny cassette tape.
And I've never seen one in real life, but I need that camera so bad.
Oh, yeah, it's a cool camera.
So cool.
He sees this kind of island girl out swimming in the lagoon, fully clothed.
You know, movies rated G.
But it is weird that she's just swimming around in her very long dress.
I mean, that's how you wash the dress.
You're probably right.
You're probably right.
She's washing her and her clothes.
So he like tells, he tells the other scientists about her.
They don't believe him.
They, you know, they think there's no humans on the island.
And then we kind of like like learn about the plot or the, we learn about the experiment that's happening.
They're trying to control the weather.
They have a weather control system and they're going to do the first test.
And yeah, Emily, I think you hinted at this, but like the science in this movie is very cool or the fake sciences.
They send up a balloon.
And then these towers kind of spray this chemical and then they send up another balloon.
Like they've thought about how you might control the weather.
It's not just like a beam that goes up.
It's like we've thought of a way to control the weather for this movie.
Well, is that what a weather balloon is?
Because they put a balloon up there, and I'm like, what is a weather balloon?
I don't know.
I'll be honest, I've never learned what a weather balloon is.
I assume it reads something.
Yeah, I thought it just goes up there and like tells you what the weather is somehow.
It's cold, it just sends that.
Yeah, it's what it's what like the government says UFOs are.
Right, it's weather balloons.
Exactly.
It's a thing I've never seen except for as an explanation for what a UFO is.
That's a good way of saying that, actually.
But yeah, so that's what's actually going on on this island.
Yeah, they sent up this weather experiment, but something goes wrong.
And
the
difference between this experiment going right and going wrong is so insane.
So they're trying to make it colder on the island, but something goes a little bit wrong, and they're like, it's going to cause a radioactive storm.
So
just like, we were going to make it slightly chilly, and now it's a radioactive storm.
So
Goro goes out to,
you know, to find the island girl.
He's worried about her.
And he goes, just goes to the same lagoon.
It's like days later.
He just assumes she's going to be in the exact same place.
So I saw her.
I kind of thought she might be a mermaid at one point because there's
all this mutation stuff.
I was like, oh, this is probably where mermaids would be created or something.
I thought the same thing.
I was like, you know, because you don't see her out of the water till later.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So
the radioactive storm happens.
He can't find the island girl.
Her name's Reiko.
I guess we should say we'll call her.
Yeah, I'll just say her name, you know.
She's Reiko.
We find that out later.
So this radioactive storm happens.
A narrator explains this to us who never pops up again.
The rest of the movie.
We get a narrator for one chunk to explain this thing that a scientist has already explained to us.
So
we were confused.
Well, maybe that's like a post-production decision.
I don't know.
It's the only studio note.
They're like, well, everything about this movie is clearly perfect, except let's clarify this one particular part.
Right.
And yeah, so I think this happened when they brought a lot of these movies to America.
They like tried to do things to explain them.
And there's a couple of Godzilla movies where they add scenes with like American actors who were, you know, famous at the time or just they thought would provide some connective tissue.
So, yeah, there's a couple of Godzilla movies that you'll watch that have these inexplicable scenes with white actors speaking English.
And I think those are just the versions that we got because they were trying to make it more palatable for Americans, I guess.
So, yeah, so the radioactive storm happens.
The scientists are all stuck in their science lab.
They come out after four days.
They're all just shirtless and sweaty.
Emily, did you like the look of all these normal men, these normal-looking men with normal man bodies coming.
I didn't mind it.
Say, I don't mind it at all.
They're all good looking.
Nobody's like, no, no Uggos in Son of Godzilla, I'll tell you that.
No, not a one.
So, this is when we get our first look at some monsters.
It's a giant praying mantis.
Nice.
Giant praying mantises that live on this island.
Their movements I would characterize as parade float.
They kind of move like
they were created for the rose parade.
Yes.
Yeah.
A well-made puppet, which is nice and fun.
Yeah.
And so they're all digging in these rocks.
They're like using their claws to like bang on this rock.
We see what they're digging for is an egg.
So they're digging up an egg.
The scientists are like watching them on a screen.
The lead scientist is like, the news reporter named them.
They're called Gymantis.
And then everyone agrees what a great name name it is.
And he's like, only a newspaper reporter could have thought of that.
It's so fucking first thought.
Gi Mantis?
It's Giant Mantis.
None of you thought of that.
None of you thought of Gymantis.
You're like, wow, we brought a genius here to the science lab.
I can't believe he thought of Giant Mantis.
Well, I was kind of thinking Big Mantis, but I'm not going to be able to do it.
Yeah, I was going to call him Big Mantis.
But that's not my job.
I'm not a, yeah.
Yeah, a scientist couldn't come up with a science name for a species.
I mean, let's be real.
Science names are mostly pretty boring.
And it's not until you get a creative person in there that they're like, nah, we're calling this, you know, this is a liger.
Yeah, for real, though.
Like, periodic table can eat my ass.
Like, you're not even, like,
some of it is, you're not even starting.
It doesn't have the letter that's at the beginning of the aluminum
and californium.
Yeah.
Come on.
More like boring.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It's like, it's kind of.
His ass being borons.
Honestly, and I think someone needs to say it: the periodic table is gatekeeping information about science.
We spend more time memorizing all of the fucking bullshit.
And then what is it?
Calcium K.
Right.
Calcium CPP.
Stop gaslighting us just because you're made up of mostly gases.
Amazing.
Fun periodic table humor.
You don't agree with ads.
Anyway,
so
the egg that they're hitting hatches, and it's little baby Godzilla.
We see two versions of him in this.
This is a puppet version of him.
It's not a guy in a suit yet.
Because he's floating around.
He cannot walk.
He is very slimy, kind of mudang-like.
I would say
a little bit mudang-like.
And one of the sounds he makes is
just straight whah.
Matt, can you clip that out and play it every time one of us complains too much?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
We're all going to get a whah.
It's going to be part of the soundboard.
Well, actually, can I, Matt, if you scroll down to the quotes, I have a little
thing.
There's the thing about Baby Godzilla is I immediately saw it and it looks like the desert rain frog, which is like kind of a you see a lot of clips of it.
It's considered to be the cutest frog.
Yeah, it is cute.
And it looks like baby Godzilla.
And if you could play the, what the sound sounds like.
Yeah, this is this is the desert rain frog.
It's very cute.
Very cute.
Very cute.
I think that this thing looks like the animal kingdom.
Yeah.
Puppet baby Godzilla.
Very cute.
Very gross.
And then he just starts.
The mantises start hitting him.
It's kind of shocking.
They just use their claws to hit this puppet.
It's kind of
pretty scary.
But hey, doesn't last long because fucking dad shows up.
Godzilla.
And I know, like, I think, I think we use a lot of...
I think they refer to Godzilla with a lot of different genders over the franchise, but they're calling him dad in this, so we'll go ahead and call him dad.
Godzilla shows up and fucking starts to wreck shop.
He's beaten up these mantises.
There is so much,
depending on how you feel about this kind of thing, I think it's delightful.
Some delightful jank in this.
You can see the strings.
These strings on the mantises are very visible.
And there's a couple shots where, so it's supposed to be taking place outside, but they're on a soundstage.
There's a couple shots where the camera goes up and you can see the top of the soundstage.
Like you could see the rafters.
It's so fun.
I love it.
So yeah, just a lot of delightful jank in here.
But Godzilla's fucking shit up.
He's blowing his radioactive fire on them.
They're exploding and their limbs are going everywhere.
One of them flies away.
Do praying mantises fly?
I didn't notice that.
Yeah, I think they have wings.
Yeah, they got wings.
Yeah, but I didn't know they flew.
Sometimes, like, cockroaches have wings, but I don't see them flying that much.
i guess they do cockroaches i see them creeping yeah they just creep
do they use the they use it for jumping right i don't know i don't a cockroach expert
i just named it you think i would be because i've been dealing with them for so long but no i my favorite thing about baby godzilla if i if i may when he came out of the egg
What whoever did the lips on Godzilla, I need the number.
I need it.
That is like
those lips.
It's like the real housewives of whatever lips.
And it's crazy.
I'm like, who decided to give him those juicy, juicy peckers?
Peckers?
What?
A peck on the cheek is what I was thinking.
She's called lips peckers.
I like it.
Give me those peckers, you say.
You're surprised when you don't get a kiss.
So
Godzilla, he fucks fucks up two of the mantises.
Yeah, you're right, Emily.
One of them flies away, and then he just leaves, just like my dad.
Anyway,
so baby Godzilla is alone, but
the island girl, Reiko, is there.
She throws him a mango.
It's really cute.
She throws this giant mango and it immediately just turns into a cartoon so it can go in baby Godzilla's mouth.
And it's so tiny.
It's like if you just ate one Skittle
and
she's like, it'll make you strong.
I'm like, I don't know.
I think we're going to need a few more Skittles in there.
Right.
He just eats one mango and he's fine after being
slashed with mantis claws for 10 minutes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So
she escaped the nuclear storm by hiding out in her cave.
We see these kind of comedy scenes of baby Godzilla bothering his dad.
It's like very cute.
There's a lot of like silent physical comedy in this movie that I really like.
I did too.
Is that what having a baby is like, Matt?
100%.
Yeah.
Just climbing on in.
You stop it from getting poked to death by praying mantises, but then you do just walk away from its helpless little body because you got other shit to do.
You got other shit to do.
You got giant spiders to fight.
Yeah, all right.
What am I supposed to take care of you, fight all your battles for you, baby?
So, yeah, so Godzilla's teaching him to do all this stuff.
He's like teaching him to walk, teaching them to blow fire, all very, very cute.
So the scientist guys all move into Rako's cave.
They all move into Rako's cave so they can like survive the terrible weather on the island, but they get they get sick.
A lot of them get this like island disease or something.
And Reiko says like, they need to drink the red water.
The red water will make them better.
And immediately they're just like, okay, let's go get it.
No one asks any questions.
They're like, red water, got it, go.
Like they don't ask what it is, where it comes from.
They're just like, how do you find it?
None of that.
Right.
This movie has the most streamlined plot.
Everyone's just like, yes, go, do the next thing, go.
Like, it's it's 80 minutes.
Listen, I kind of like it.
Get it done.
Yes.
Me too.
I like it when the actors also know it's a ticking clock.
You know what I mean?
When they're just like, we got to get this movie finished.
But the problem is the red water is near the lair of Spiga, a giant spider.
So they need to like so they need to like find find the red water that's near Spiga's lair.
So yeah, so they go out, they get the red water, they they avoid spiga.
The red water just works.
They they, we do not learn what it is or where it came from, it just works and cures everybody.
There's like one guy who's kind of going crazy and threatens them with a gun at some point.
That's not really a plot that goes anywhere, it's just kind of a thing that happens.
Um, at some point, they get trapped in the cave, Spiga comes out and like traps them in the cave, he shoots all these webs.
Uh, worth mentioning, Spiga's mouth looks a lot like a vagina, and the webs look a lot like cum, so that's just something
going on there.
Very, um, a lot of symbolism.
Paging Dr.
Freud.
Paging Dr.
Spiga.
That scene where the, you know, the Spiga traps them all kind of with his web into a pit or whatever, and then reaches the giant claw in there, and it grabbed a guy.
And I was like, is somebody going to die in this movie?
That would be crazy.
And then they didn't.
Yeah, nothing bad happens in this movie.
It has a end that looks like it's going to be tragic, but they just put a little happy face on it.
We'll get to that when it happens.
Yeah.
Yeah, so they're trapped in the cave, but they find, like, Reiko knows of a way out, but they have to swim out.
So her and Goro do a little mission to swim out.
He has the most fashionable swim trunks.
He has like these.
Did you notice the swim trunks?
I didn't notice the swim trunks.
I was too distracted by the cool shirts.
Oh, yeah, he looks great.
And she has,
Reiko has a machete that is in a leopard print shape.
Wow, I did notice that, and I loved it.
I loved it.
I mean, Jason Voorhees, but make it fashion, am I right?
Emily, I know you have the like pink bejeweled taser.
I kind of thought about that when I saw her leopard machete.
Oh, I would love to have a knife with a leopard print little holster.
I'm going to look for it now.
I need bigger knives.
I've decided.
Bigger knives, yeah.
Yeah, I have like little knives.
I want like a dagger, a boot dagger, like that's the goal.
And yeah, you could slip it into some fashionable boots.
No reason that your killing implements can't look amazing.
So we are almost to the thrilling final battle of Son of Godzilla, and we'll talk about it when we come back.
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We're going to talk about the final shocking battle in Son of Godzilla.
So it's Godzilla and Sun versus Spiga and the last praying mantis.
Spiga shooting shooting webs all over the place, just blasting everybody with webs.
So Spiga blasts the baby with webs, and Godzilla is sleeping, just like my dad did when I got sprayed with webs.
He finally wakes up and starts to
fight off the critters.
At one point, Spiga has this like spike that comes out of his mouth.
He stabs Godzilla in the eye.
It's pretty brutal.
There are just these kind of shocking moments of brutal things happening in this G-rated movie with puppets.
Yeah, it's the thing about like having everything live action, you know, because they didn't have that kind of like, you know, 3D animation right back then, is that like you're seeing something adorable, like googly-eyed, you know, Godzilla, and then you see that adorable thing get stabbed physically by another thing.
And you're like, oh, wait, ouch.
Same thing with like baby Godzilla on the floor getting poked at.
You're like, that's a baby, even though you know it's a baby.
You're just like, stop hurting that baby.
Yeah, it's saying whack.
But the scientists decide that they can help Godzilla by doing their weather experiment again and creating a cold storm that will kill the insects.
They do it.
It totally works.
The cold gets the spiders and the other mantises on their backs long enough for Godzilla to win.
And then they all get out on a boat and kind of go out into the ocean.
All the scientists do.
And they all have these wonderful winter coats.
They have these beautiful winter coats.
Oh my God.
You know what it reminds me of?
So I used to work at Jack Spade, which was like the men's version of Kate Spade.
They don't have stores anymore, R.I.P., but those coats remind me so much of everything we used to sell.
It made me a little nostalgic.
I don't know.
It's good to see them.
They're lovely coats.
They're lovely coats.
Yeah.
And I guess it makes sense that they would have them if they're doing these weather experiments.
Obviously, you're going to want to have some coats around.
Why do they have to look so fabulous?
I know.
No, they don't have to.
They just want to because they know.
It's a very primary color movie, too.
It's like yellow, red, blue, and I love it.
I think it's so cool looking.
I know, yeah.
These 60s Godzilla movies all look great.
And
I think what we're watching when they upload it to a website is you're watching the Criterion version of it.
These are all Criterion movies.
So I think they've been like restored and they've gotten nice prints.
And so I think these movies
that I saw on VHS and cable, like it's fun to see these beautiful versions.
And even though it makes it so the strings are apparent and the edges of the set are kind of apparent, I really like that about them.
Yeah, they're really, really nice looking movies.
So they defeat the spider and the mantis, but it's snowing.
And we don't know what happens to Godzillas when it snows.
There's these very sad shots of baby Godzilla falling in the snow and looking sad.
And it kind of ends on this shot of him and Godzilla embracing as it snows.
Getting buried in the snow, by the way.
And they just stop moving.
And it is
like, it's really tragic.
You were really like attached to these fucking physical puppets that you've been watching.
And then on the lifeboat, we get this nice little explanation from someone who's like, oh, they'll just hibernate and they'll be fine.
No,
it's from the non-scientist reporter.
Oh, yeah.
He says it.
And it's like, funny.
Okay.
I don't know.
Oh, they don't know shit.
How the fuck do you know?
My favorite thing is, so when Baby Godzilla falls in the snow, Godzilla just keeps walking, doesn't notice that Baby Godzilla falls down.
Other dads are driving.
Exactly.
But it reminded me so much of being a kid.
And I'm throwing a tantrum.
My mom's like, well, we're just going to go home without you.
Yeah.
We're going to go home without you.
And then she gets into the distance and you're like,
oh,
don't leave me at the piggly wiggly.
Yeah, exactly.
I was throwing a tantrum about the Bargain Bin movies.
And then
the Godzilla son of Godzilla relationship was something that it sounds like we all have.
a different kind of personal connection to this because I also
was reminded of my dad because of this one moment where baby godzilla is trying to play and then
you know daddy godzilla comes and yells at him uh and they just say oh well you know he just uh
he just really wants his his son to study more it was like it was like part of it was just like that you know there's no time for fooling around you got to learn how to like do a gozilla streak or whatever and i was just like dude this is so like my dad he was just making you take piano lessons.
Yeah, he made me take piano lessons.
He made me like, you know, I had to do all my homework.
It's fucking bullshit.
I just wanted to hang out with ladies who are trying to feed me mangoes.
I just wanted to kick rocks around like a soccer ball.
Yeah, there's a moment.
Yeah, in that scene, the humans are like, Godzilla, he's a real study nut.
He's a real person.
Oh, yeah, study nut.
That's what they used.
Yeah.
And I'm sure that was like a hot, like how we say, like, we said helicopter parents, you know, 10 years ago or whatever.
It seems like study nut was the 60s version of that, maybe.
Yeah, exactly.
Which,
yeah, I mean, it was,
I felt that.
I feel bad for poor baby, baby Godzilla.
Yeah.
Yep.
Just too many, too many classes.
I hope he doesn't in middle school discover Godzilla drugs, you know.
Like that, Dad.
Yeah, it's just, it's hard, it's hard out there for a young Godzilla.
Not a bad anymore.
Well, yeah, that is Son of Godzilla.
Before we rank this movie, we're going to talk about some of our favorite lines in this movie.
Emily, you want to go first?
Sure.
There's a moment where our hot professor goes out with our news guy.
Journalist, is that what the correct word is?
Sorry.
No, news guy is correct.
News guy.
He's got nice peckers.
Anyway,
just making up words.
Maybe that's a sting.
I don't know.
So he's walking with him into the jungle, and he's like, this is where I saw the girl.
That you guys don't believe there's a girl.
And the professor says something I thought was funny.
Professor, over there by those rocks.
What is it?
That's where the girl was swimming.
But I don't think she could have survived all that heat.
Don't you believe that I saw a girl?
And I don't believe in ghosts either.
I don't believe in women and I don't believe in in ghosts.
Women are a fairy tale made up to scared kids.
It's like,
I believe in the giant praying mantis, but
I don't believe in a woman.
Is he American?
I believe in a full-size and baby-size Godzilla, but not a woman.
That's a bridge too far.
That's a bridge too far.
My line happens kind of after all the guys are getting out of their kind of quarantine from the nuclear storm.
They're just kind of, they're out, they're happy, they're living it up, they're glad there's not a nuclear storm anymore.
Yeah, so this is the line.
Well,
it feels good to get out again.
Those air conditioners kept all of us from roasting to death.
Those air conditioners kept us from roasting to death.
We all would have died.
And these guys are weather scientists.
I guess
they're just so happy they didn't roast alive.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah,
there's a lot of lines like that in this movie where you just,
you know, if it were
a worse movie, I would have said, like, oh, this is just like terribly written or it's a different time.
But I'm almost positive that this is just very, very funny.
Like, intentionally funny.
You know what I mean?
Like,
all of the, all of the, like, stilted dialogue, the dub dialogue still feels like Godzilla got jokes.
The people making Godzilla, they were hilarious.
Yeah, I think so, too.
I think this is like, I think they're leaning into the camp.
This is kind of like the era for it.
And yeah, I don't know.
Fun then, fun now.
Hey, we're going to rank Son of Godzilla on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials, but we got a couple of pieces of business first.
Very exciting.
We mentioned it at the top of the show.
There is now free with ads merch.
We have stickers and pint glasses with our beautiful show art that you see when you download the show.
That is from Paul G.
Hammond.
And we have a very cool Free With Ads t-shirt from artist Tyler Nickel.
He's at DorkZombie on Instagram.
It is a very cool comic book-inspired piece of art with me, Matt, and Emily all watching something very shocking on a laptop that includes some cool stickers that are references to running jokes we have on the show.
Super cool.
Our thanks to Tyler and Paul for the beautiful free with ads art.
We got links to their various sites in the show notes.
And finally, we have a hat with one of our famous stings.
Matt, what is it?
The worst hat.
That's right.
If you want a hat that says the worst hat in both dad hat and bucket hat styles,
we've got that for you too.
MaxFunStore.com.
And yeah, we hope you check it out.
It's at maxfunstore.com.
Pick yourself up some merch.
Maybe grab a holiday gift for the free with ads listener in your life.
And yeah, it supports the show.
There's a lot of great ways to support the show.
You can grab some of our merch.
You can join maximum fun at maximumfun.org slash join.
And yeah, all that stuff helps the show keep coming to you.
And we are so excited about this merch.
We're going to announce a contest.
Perhaps the most exciting contest we've ever had on the show.
Here's what we want you to do.
Go to maxfundstore.com, grab yourself a piece of Free With Ads merch, and take a photo of yourself with that merch.
This could be you sticking the sticker somewhere.
This could be you chugging something out of the Free With Ads pint glass.
This could be you modeling your Free With Ads t-shirt or hat.
And send that photo to us, freewithads, at maximumfun.org.
It could be a social media post too.
You could post yourself on social media wearing the stuff.
We like that too.
And we will randomly pick one winner.
Here's what that winner will get.
They will get the opportunity to have Matt create a Godzilla remix of their favorite song.
You guys,
this is exciting.
So as we talked about in our Godzilla 1998 episode,
on the soundtrack to that movie, there is a Green Day Godzilla remix, which is just
brain stew with random Godzilla roars put throughout.
Yep.
So that's all it is.
If If you are our winner, you will pick your favorite song, and Matt will create a Godzilla remix.
So, in that email, we want you to include a photo of yourself with our merch.
Oh, and let us know if it's okay to post.
Well, we want to post some of these on our social media.
So, if it's okay to post, let us know, yes or no, and put your song that you want Matt to do a Godzilla remix of.
This could be a popular song, this could be your band playing a song, that's right, anything.
Matt will do a Godzilla remix of it, free with ads ads at maximumfund.org.
Maxfundstore.com is where you get our merch.
All right.
We will be back to rank Son of Godzilla right after this.
All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.
Let's learn everything.
So let's do a quick progress check.
Have we learned about quantum physics?
Yes, episode 59.
We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?
Yes, we have.
Same episode, actually.
Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?
Episode 64.
So how close are we to learning everything?
Bad news.
We still haven't learned everything yet.
Oh, we're ruined.
No, no, no, it's good news as well.
There is still a lot to learn.
Woo!
I'm Dr.
Ella Hubber.
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I'm Caroline Roper.
And on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.
And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.
Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.
We're back.
It's free with ads.
We're going to rank Son of Godzilla on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials.
Matt, you want to go first?
Absolutely.
I'm giving this a nine.
I know that sounds high.
But no, no, no.
You have to understand, for me,
this was,
in terms of my mental health, it was one of the most healing experiences I've had in a while.
Just being able to sit back and watch this movie, to tune out
the world and to just enjoy a movie about a really cute Godzilla baby was
sorely needed.
So I very much enjoyed it.
Had I seen it any other time, who knows what I would have given it, but I loved it.
Emily, what do you think?
I agree completely.
On all accounts,
I'm so glad, Jordan, you picked this movie, and I'm so glad you did.
I needed this so bad.
And it was charming.
And you're right, the plot moved so like steadily that it was like easy watching, easy breezy watching.
And yeah, I felt comfortably numb.
Okay, okay.
So you're going nine too, Emily.
Are you going nine?
I'm going nine.
You know what?
Let's let's nine across the board.
I'm nine in this thing too.
Son of Godzilla.
Yeah, I mean, there are like, you know, air quotes, good Godzilla movies out there.
Godzilla Minus One recently is a great, kind of beautiful movie with a, you know, meaningful plot.
The original Godzilla is a beautiful, you know, warning against a nuclear war or whatever.
But yeah, these, these silly, fun, campy Godzilla movies are such a blast.
They are all over the free with ads averse.
So definitely boot one up if you want something kind of just fun to zone out to.
And yeah, I think it'd be great to watch with a kid.
I loved it when I was a kid.
And I think if you've got a kid who is into dinosaurs or monsters or whatever, this is such a fun movie to put on with them.
So yeah, nine for Son of Godzilla.
It's a goddamn classic.
All right, that was Son of Godzilla.
Let's go around the horn and do a couple of plugs.
I'll just say one more time: maxfunstore.com for Freedom Pads merch.
We would love it if you'd check it out.
It's really, really cool.
We're super excited.
It's up there.
MaxFunStore.com.
And of course, maximumfund.org slash join if you want to support the show by becoming a Max Fun member.
If you do that, you're going to get a bunch of bonus stuff, including our TV pilot episodes.
Those are just for Max Fun members.
So MaxFundStore.com for merch, maximumfund.org slash join to become a member of Max Fun.
Emily, got anything?
That's that's what I'm plugging to, baby.
Boom, United Plugs.
Matt?
Uh, that's what I'm plugging three,
baby.
Three plug for merch.
All right, that's the show.
Tune in next week when our movie will be Penelope.
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