Sunset Boulevard, with Matt McCarthy

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asked the question: why pay Apple TV plus 13 bucks a month to watch the studio when you can go online for free and watch a classic Hollywood satire that's way better because everyone talks in an old-time voice.

That's right, they all talk in old-time voices, which are better than normal voices.

Yep, it's the voice that everyone talked with before 1968.

I'm Jordan Morris, and I'm Emily Fleming.

Today's movie is Sunset Boulevard, the noir classic that gets its name from a once glamorous street that's now I'm doing the voice, once glamorous street that's now filled with Smash Burger ghost kitchens and vape shops that sell knockoff labooboos.

With us, as always, is the super producer, the he freak, hitting us with those classic Hollywood drops.

And remember, darling, I don't work before 10 in the morning and never after 4.30 in the afternoon.

I love that.

Do you want to notice the thing?

I know, it's like Elizabeth Taylor said that she would not

work during her period or the work prior or the week prior.

Wow.

And honestly, that's where I want to get to.

Yeah.

She was a legend.

It's true.

For legendary cunt.

A very beautiful, fabulous, talented legendary.

I want to get to the place where I'm only working for one week out of the year.

Oh, yeah.

That would be great.

Wouldn't that be sick?

Yeah.

Speaking of legends, someone who's known as a nice guy,

not a cunt by any stretch of the city.

No, no, no, not at all.

Certainly not a cunt.

Certainly not.

Yes, a man, a lovely man who everyone likes.

Never been called a cunt once, I would imagine.

Not by anyone here.

No, no, no, never.

He's an amazing guy.

He's an actor and a comedian who you've seen in movies like Companion as well as on Dropout and Comedy Central.

It's Matt McCarthy.

Hi, Matt McCarthy.

It's pronounced Matt McCunthy.

Oh,

I'm sorry.

I didn't put the umlaut in your intro, so I.

We're going to talk about Sunset Boulevard, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads and free without ads on Canopy if you have a library card.

But because we have this amazing non-cunt guest, we're going to talk to him in a segment we call Talk to Guest.

Talk to guest.

Matt,

you're a fascinating guy with many great credits.

I want to talk about your VHS collection.

Sure.

You have a VHS collection that you display beautifully on Instagram.

Thank you.

When did this hobby start?

My whole life.

So I trace it back.

Out of the womb.

You were grabbing VHSs.

Probably four or five is what I would

guess was the,

because it was our first VCR,

which would have been probably 1985.

So I would have been four or five.

And it took me many years to figure out what movie we were trying to tape.

I only had this memory that when we put the tape in, we hit record, Kermit the Frog was on the screen, and there were like reptiles that were being mean to him.

Oh, no.

And then when we woke up the next morning, the tape was static and we had done it wrong.

No!

And we were trying to tape Emmett Otter's jug band Christmas.

And I feel like that was the moment that broke my brain where I was like, I will never not have it on tape ever again.

Yeah.

And that's kind of like famous lost media, right?

There's no, I mean, I think there's probably sneaky uploads on YouTube.

There's definitely, I've watched it on YouTube, but I don't know if it's a sanctioned

shan.

So, has this been something you've always collected, or at some point in your life, you're like, I'm going to go back and find all of my beloved VHSs?

Or has this been an ongoing thing?

Oh, like, I'm not one of those people that like sold off the collection and then is trying to get it back.

The closest to that is um

the in in i suppose i don't know where in the country they are i assume only in new england but super stop and shop it's a grocery store

they had um the one we used to go to on i think on newport ave or pawtucket ave in rhode island had a a stop and shop video hut okay and so i had it timed we love a hut so our good hut our our childhood was filled with stores that were huts Sunglasses.

Sunglasses.

Yeah, sure.

Yep.

So this was a video hut and it was

a form.

Sure.

Sure.

Sorba.

That whole race of slugs.

They were the hut.

They were the huts.

I think they're a family.

I don't know if they're, I think they're like, like, a motherfucker.

Yeah, they're like a crime family.

But I don't know if that's their species' huts.

I always assumed they were.

Stay out of my mention, Star Wars nerds.

I don't care.

Yeah,

Jordan the man.

Right, yeah.

Can I digress very quickly?

Please, yeah.

Can you you imagine how much cooler the movie Star Wars would be if it was a standalone movie and not

got this whole fucking like you mean all three of the like first made movies as one movie no I'm saying just rogue one nine 1977 Star Wars just the Ewok adventure just existed on its own just caravan of courage yeah uh yeah no I don't know I wonder if it would be if it would be if people would be as insane for that movie now because it hadn't hasn't gone and gone and gone and gone and gone.

Because when you look at that movie in and of itself, it's much closer to like the Tarantino Rodriguez Grindhouse movie, where it's like, here's a movie about a type of movie.

Sure.

As opposed to now, there's a whole Wookiee planet and they have Life Day.

Right.

You know?

It's so embarrassing.

I love, and I love Star Wars.

Right.

And it is humiliating.

I love the Ewok movies, though.

When I was a little bit of a riot.

Because it was a little girl in it, and I was a little girl when they, you know, when you love a headband.

Oh, my God.

And the blonde curls.

She was so cute.

Yeah, they were basically wearing like 80s

like sportswear.

Yeah.

She got abandoned by her parents after a hard aerobic school.

Exactly right.

Yep.

I think, you know,

we grew up, we were kids probably when we saw Return of the Jedi for the first time.

And I think we all probably loved the Ewok.

Hell yeah.

Yes.

But the toxic dudes of 1983 or whenever thought Ewoks ruined Star Wars because they were this silly thing in their, you know, they were clearly there for kids.

Yeah.

Like it was clearly there for kids.

And I think our generation went on to hate Jar Jar, but I think the kids of that generation are like, this guy's hilarious.

Yes.

Keeping in poop, falling down.

Some people really do love Jar Jar Banks.

Totally, yeah.

Yeah, I think that.

But all those guys also hate that there are women Jedi in Star Wars.

Sure, yes.

I think the hate has widened out

against cute characters.

There's some race stuff in there.

Sure.

But yeah, no, I think that the second, you know, Empire Strikes Back was kind of scary.

It's pretty

good.

I think they had to get kids to come to the next one.

Right.

It's not all about your dad cutting off your hand.

Yeah.

So they were like, let's put some teddy bears in there.

I don't know.

And they dance.

And they have a little song.

But the pitch was probably, what if we had a bunch of Yodas and they were cuddly?

Right.

And each one was slightly different.

They would make a slightly different action figure.

And only one of them dies.

And only one dies.

Oh.

But man, no, everybody hates everything across the like.

I'm a big deadhead, and it's like you get people who are like, oh, fuck Dead and Company.

That's not the Grateful Dead.

Fuck John Mayer.

If you watch the Grateful Dead movie from 1974, they have interviews with people who are like, man, it's not the same.

I used to see them in Golden Gate Park.

And it's like, nobody's happy ever.

Boy, also, there's some things, you know, things stay the same.

More things change, the more things stay the same.

In this movie that we're going to talk about, Sunset Boulevard, I didn't know Zodiac shit was still

going hard in this time period.

The Hollywood Zodiac stuff.

Right, right.

That is what

a rich Hollywood space case in 1950 was still

into their telescope.

No idea.

That feels like something new agey that feels like the 70s, 80s.

We still call it New Age.

That shit is old age.

so that's the new agey stuff started in the 50s is that probably even earlier i think it started more like in the 20s with spiritualism whoa i don't know what new age is yeah

um matt before we talk about the movie oh well let me just start it let me let me answer your question

covers of movies that i remember seeing at the stop-in shop Those are ones that I'm like, oh, those are the ones that I'm like,

like,

I can't even think of one now.

Have you ever heard of Strip to Kill 2?

Exactly.

Strip to Kill 2 2 was big on my list when I was eight.

Like Hamburger the Movie.

Hamburger.

Which is basically.

Is there also a hot dog the movie?

Yes, but that one's about skiing.

Hamburger the movie is about like a college where you learn how to run like a fast food place.

Okay.

But there's lots of sex in it as well.

Well, shit.

That sounds like a blast.

You're going to get tipped if you're learning how to make a burger.

Anybody who's actually seen that movie, when it gets brought up, they often say, put those cookies down, motherfucker.

Now I want to watch this movie.

I mean, look, I'm not recommending it.

I would love it if you just made this up and then you also made up a catchphrase.

What is the

prize, the crown jewel in your collection?

Is there a tape or two where you're like, Yeah, yeah, I got this.

Well, the thing that I really love is stuff that was taped off of TV because

it's kind of one of a kind.

Certainly, you know, those individual tapes are very one of a kind.

of all the things that I have found over the years or people have sent me,

I've only come across one copy of a recording of the last episode of MASH as it aired with commercials and a little bit of news before and after.

Cool.

Because there's lots of copies of the final cheers, the final Johnny Carson.

It dawned on me, I was like, okay, I guess the next thing I'm interested in trying to find is a recording of the original broadcast of the final episode of Happy Days would be interesting.

I like a VHS tape with a little news on it.

Oh, there's nothing.

Dude, I found a Made-for-TV movie starring Donna Micci and Bob Hope

aired on a Monday.

It's called like Made for Murder or Manhattan Murder, something murder.

Right.

During one of the commercial breaks, they mentioned, well, they tried, but the weather wasn't working for them, so they're going to try to launch the Challenger again tomorrow.

Oh, I kind of knew where you were going when you

and everything's going to go great.

I know I'm not supposed to editorialize on the news, but this reporter thinks it's going to go great.

And now back to your movie, Spaceship Built to Last.

Spaceship that Did Its Job.

Oh, my God.

Can I ask, have you heard about the

Steve Urkel variety special?

No.

It's a very

impossible to find

recording.

Really?

Yeah.

So if you ever get a hold of that, I would love to know.

All right, I'll keep an eye on it.

I know that there's like episodes of like In Living Color that never re-ran or like sketches on it that never re-ran or even like not even for necessarily anything bad, but like

music stuff, I think.

Sure, copy.

You know what I have found is

when the Disney channel started, they had some like live action shows, The Adventures of Wonderland.

It's like Pooh's Corner, something like that.

Yes.

But then they also had like Dumbo's Circus.

And I was actually at an autograph show and I was talking, I was like, just randomly, the woman who did the voice of Dumbo on that show was there.

And I was like, you know, I found a Betamax tape of one of the episodes.

She's like, oh, they're all gone.

What?

And I was like, Disney didn't keep them?

She's like, no.

And the production company.

had the originals and they didn't know what to do with them and then they're all they're all trash now like those are those are lost nerds will pay thousands for for them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're going to be the one who runs the movie theater when the world ends.

That's right.

And we'll get to watch.

You're all going to pay.

Yeah.

Probably.

We'll get to watch TV movies starring Bob Hope.

We'll get to watch a taped from TV version of the Godfather saga, which is the Godfather movie, but played in chronological order,

which ruins both movies.

And I have that, the one that aired, I think, in like 80 or 81, it starts with, maybe even 79, but it opens with Talia Shire

giving a warning and saying, like, this is a metaphor, like,

before almost every commercial break when they come back, there's a Italian Americans are the backbone of this country.

And in no way is this movie a portrayal of one specific ethnic group.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But everybody's so sensitive today.

Yeah.

You couldn't make it, Godfather today, not with woke.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, we are going to talk about Sunset Boulevard.

Speaking of warnings that play before things, we wanted to let you know that this movie does mention suicide.

So if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, we're going to play some music and give you a chance to find another episode.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

We're here with Matt McCarthy.

We are talking about Sunset Boulevard.

Had everybody seen this?

Kind of.

I mean, I've seen, like, I feel like at a film class it was on, but I don't think I really paid attention.

I know the one, that big scene, I'm ready for my close-up.

Yes.

You know,

that is one of those.

It is in every hooray for Hollywood montage.

I've also done an episode of Meals of History on the Mythical Kitchen channel where I play this character.

Oh, really?

And it's the first Academy Awards dinner.

Oh, nice.

So we did the food from the first one, and then I was just her walking around, which she wasn't nominated for this movie during that year.

Oh, funny.

But I just was like, screw it.

People know this character.

So if you want to see me do that, go to the yeah, go to Mythical Kitchen on YouTube and look up Meals of History Oscars, and I'll be there.

Matts, have the Mats seen it?

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Yeah, I had not.

This was my first time.

Yeah, I only knew it through cultural osmosis.

I knew the line.

And also the line,

she doesn't even do it.

It's backwards.

What?

Yeah, this is like the Luke, I am your father, a fucking thing.

Yeah, there is a little bit of a memory hold thing.

I always knew it as

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr.

DeMille.

But it's Mr.

DeMille.

I'm ready for my close-up.

It's backwards.

It is Mr.

DeMille, I am your father.

Yeah, right.

Here I have it.

Yeah.

All right, Mr.

DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.

That was not nearly as dramatic as I expected it to be, and I did wait the entire movie for it.

And I didn't...

But then you ejaculated right as she said it.

Well, yeah.

I was waiting long enough.

It's called gooning.

Yeah.

But yeah.

You're pulling a sting, huh?

The old desert rose.

Don't make me.

Well, yeah.

Great.

Yes.

I've seen this movie a bunch of times, and I was thrilled to watch it for this.

We start out on a shot of a curb that says, you guessed it, Sunset Boulevard.

It's the name of the movie.

And the homicide squad, they're are rushing to a murder in Beverly Hills.

And we have voiceover telling us that it involves one of the biggest stars of the day.

That's right.

Someone has murdered the Rizzler.

Boom.

No.

Boom.

Boom.

Yeah.

Doesn't it say boom?

Yeah.

Is that emerald?

Yeah, well, both of them.

Yeah.

Oh, they all say boom.

Yeah.

Everybody says boom.

This double chocolate chunk, chocolate chip cookie gets five

booms.

We haven't had any vaccinations.

Boom!

You know that dad is terrifying

behind closed doors.

Eat that fucking chicken bait.

How many booms you give it?

You know the Rizzler's not his kid?

Or just a kid from the neighborhood?

They look the same.

I know.

There's a different dad who also couldn't get famous online without pimping his kid.

And so then they collabed and it's like, well, I think that this works.

yeah and they were right so he just got a random kid from the neighborhood yeah

so that's how you make it huh there's a kid there's a kid online who dresses up as a hot dog and sings hot dogs themed parody songs I saw him singing cheese cone club to the tune of pink pony club

and I'm like this rips and then I thought about the dad the fucking failed improv dad who's been writing a South Park spec script for five years that he'll never finish why are you describing me?

Because this is what I would do.

When are you throwing a hot dog costume on that kid, Matt?

Yeah, you're going to be a star, Karina.

Does anyone ever think about the corn kid at all?

That was a couple years ago.

He's like,

corn, a big lump.

No,

yeah, the juice.

Yeah, that kid.

I'm like, I hope he's okay.

I hope all the kids are okay.

I hope they are too.

Is anyone checking on the rapture kids?

You know, all the parents who were online saying the rapture was coming.

I think someone should check on their kids.

Oh, yeah.

I think the rapture is happening the day we're recording this, right?

Yeah.

So we should probably finish this up so this will be out for all the people who didn't get rapture.

Rapture, bro.

All the cool people will get to stay.

Which will be us.

Oh, yeah.

So, yes,

there's a body in the pool of a famous Hollywood star floating face down.

The narrator says it was no one important, a writer who had always wanted a pool.

But the price was a little high.

I love these lines.

That was good.

How did he get here?

We'll find out by watching the movie.

I like it how this is basically the 1950s, like Oscar winning version of, how did we get here?

Let's back things up a little bit.

So

we meet our main character, Joe.

He's the guy from the pool.

Are we supposed to not know that?

I didn't know.

Was it supposed to be a twist?

Well, I thought that I was kind of hoping it wasn't him.

Yeah.

And that there was a twist because it was like him talking to us at the very beginning.

He's like, some guy who doesn't matter died.

And I was like, is it some, did he kill a different guy?

Is it him?

I didn't know because I barely watched this movie.

Got a little attention.

Yeah,

you're watching it on your phone in the back of a Waymo.

Yeah, that's true.

So, Joe, he's a down-and-out screenwriter.

And who comes to pick up his car?

But a couple of Repo Men.

Ah Repo Man.

That was the last movie we did.

Fun Connection.

Cool.

Anyway, not that funny.

Just a funny thing.

I got to get my car out of this bad area.

Yeah.

You're a Repo Man fan, Matt?

I fucking love Repo Man.

So the Repo Man says, that car better be here by noon tomorrow.

There'll be fireworks.

Ah, high writing in a movie.

So he,

it's Joe.

He's trying to figure out a way to hide his car from the Repo Man.

He's a down-and-out rider and he's wearing a fucking suit.

This movie was being made now.

He would be wearing basketball shorts and a teenage mutant ninja turtle sweatshirt.

This guy's walking around in a suit, and they say he looks bad, too.

They're like, Why are you dressed like that?

He like looks awesome.

Look at you in a bad suit

with a handsome face, and you're tall,

slightly,

slightly rumpled sleeves.

But I also, like, the more things change, the more they

seem the same or whatever.

It's just people struggling in this industry, you know.

And he has had work in the past, and right now he doesn't.

I'm like, okay, it's just the same all the time.

Yeah, sure, sure.

It makes you feel a little less alone.

That was, you know, the ending kind of sucks a little bit, though.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know.

No, again, if this was now, that guy would have three podcasts.

I was going to say, how many podcasts would that guy have?

In terms of like dying in a glamorous way, dying in a pool is pretty fabulous.

I would like to die in a pool.

That'd be funny.

Like, during the writer's strike and then the actor's strike, like some of the dip shits in the comments online, it was like, man, you really fucking think if you see somebody on TV once, they're fucking

set for life.

Yeah.

Yeah, no.

I mean, it's like people have to have a lot of hustles.

Maximumfun.org slash join, maxfunstore.com for your free with ads merch.

Get the merch.

Buy a hat.

But so Joe, he's down and out.

He's thinking a podcast to start.

Maybe a Baywatch recap podcast.

I don't know.

But there's one executive at Paramount,

the studio that made this movie, who likes him.

So he goes to visit this guy.

He has a script he's trying to pitch him, but the reader doesn't like it.

This is Betty.

She's a young, idealistic kid.

She wants to be a writer.

She hated this guy's script.

Is this job still around?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I did this for a little bit when I was an intern.

I would read books and stuff and write what they wanted to do.

Oh, it's like the, yeah, it's like one of the like entry-level type jobs where you're a reader, you read a bunch of scripts.

It's brutal.

Like, because

you fucking write a script and then some jerk off just summarizes it and was like, I didn't like it.

Yeah, a child reads it.

Sure, honestly, we should all find out who the readers are.

Beat them up,

kiss their asses.

Like, kind of like how when you know, back when I had an agent, I would buy like gifts for the assistants as well as the agent.

Like, you got to make sure you take care of the assistant, too, because if they don't like you, you fucked.

That's right.

So, this, he's having a hard time.

The script doesn't look like it's going to sell.

He goes, he can't get a hold of his agent.

He goes to visit his agent who is playing golf in the

comical, stereotypical golf outfit.

Yeah, uh, he has got one of those hats with a little pom-pom.

I think this is the worst hat.

The worst cat, it's amazing how long this golf outfit has been a punchline.

I'm like, where did this come from?

Were you wear the pom-pom hat and the high socks?

Like, what's the genesis of this?

Is the pom-pom hat maybe so that people can see it so they won't hit you in the

functional element like wearing orange camouflage or something?

Yeah,

I don't know.

Oh, god, I never thought about that.

You're probably dead on.

I did some golfing during the pandemic.

I learned how to do it.

Yeah, I went to the driving range.

There was an indoor-outdoor kind of in Koreatown.

And my boyfriend at the time was a golfer, so he had clubs.

We walk to Koreatown from like little Armenia and then just do the driving range.

And I got pretty good.

I need to do it again, though.

I need to see if I can do it.

But get a hat with a little pom-pom.

I really want one.

High plaid socks, I guess.

Yeah, I'll do all of it.

Man, I miss lockdown.

I want the gloves,

those driving gloves.

And those fucking stimulus checks were so soft.

They were great.

Stimming.

I was on fucking, what's it called?

Unemployment.

Oh, my God.

And STEMI's.

Dude, same.

And the biker rallies in Austin were so fun, guys.

Oh, wow.

So fun.

We had a coughing contest.

It was great.

We paid off a car.

Oh, really?

Good for you.

That's fucking unreal.

Sure.

That's awesome.

Yeah, pandemic.

Good.

We're calling it here.

If it weren't for all the deaths.

If it wasn't for all the deaths.

Yeah.

I mean, the economic collapse, but many things were fun.

It was fun to make bread.

And the long COVID.

Yeah.

And the long COVID.

Yeah.

Making bread was fun.

You know, banging pots and pans.

That was fun, too.

Anyway, remember that?

Banging all these pots and pans.

Banging

these pans.

Banging these pans like they're whores.

Who's this guy?

This is Andrew.

No, not the dice.

Andrew Rice Clay.

Because I love fucking cookie.

Pans.

Yeah.

We love it.

Andrew Rice filet.

Hickory dickory dock.

I boil water in a pan.

Hickory dickory walk.

Oh, yep, that's it.

Thank you.

Good punch-up.

Good punch-up.

Yes.

So

Joe is trying to hide from the repo man.

He pulls into this old mansion that he thinks is deserted, but someone calls to him.

It's a butler.

This is Max.

He's a Teutonic man and very weird.

We'll learn some weird things about Max later.

Yeah.

He's the first one to make fun of him for not being properly dressed.

Again, this now would be the best-dressed man in all of Los Angeles, but they're like, look at this slob.

Loved this house.

The house is amazing.

Yes.

Also, as someone who has worked for an elderly,

eccentric woman

and gone into a house that looks like this and lived in a house that looks like this

in Nashville.

And it's like this really weird, spooky mansion that still exists in Nashville.

And everywhere else around it, apartment buildings have been built.

It's just weird, random house.

And it's right next to my elementary school where we grew up.

So we all thought this was haunted.

And there was, and she was a mean lady at the time.

And then I worked for her when I was 15 in her estate jewelry store.

And then I lived with her briefly.

What's the mansion in, like, is it in San Jose where it's like the woman just kept putting

mystery here?

Yeah, yeah.

It is in San Jose.

I was there.

I visited the last time I was there.

Is that the one that seemed like it was growing?

And

she was putting

rooms on it.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Like, because she was into spiritualism and a psychic told her, because her husband invented like the rifle.

John Gun, yeah.

John Gunn.

And so

the psychic was like, all the people who have been killed with this gun, like they're going to haunt you.

You have to create more rooms for their spirits.

Well, it was to confuse the ghosts so they couldn't find her.

And like, apparently, ghosts don't like heavy banging.

Like, there was constantly noise and construction her whole life there.

Yeah.

I didn't know it was in the U.S.

That always feels, that feels like a British thing.

Yeah.

No, it's in beautiful San Jose.

The Britain,

California, they call it.

That's It's fun.

They have like Halloween shit.

I kind of want to go for their like Halloween haunts that they have.

I want to do that, too.

Yeah, this house was Victorian era.

I'm pretty sure is where it is.

And the fact that there, when he goes in, there's a dead chimpanzee.

Yeah.

She kept a dead cockatiel in her freezer.

Okay.

Kinky was the name of the cockatiel.

Was it wrapped?

In foil, yes.

And he's still in there, I think.

I go to visit her.

How'd you find out?

Were you like, oh, a burrito?

Well, when I was living there, she was like, don't take it.

You're about to stick it in the microwave.

What is this?

A $5 foot long.

And there's rooms in her house that you cannot touch.

The dining room has not been touched in, I think, 50 years or something.

And the living room that was her mother's living room that looks a lot like this movie, not been stepped in.

You cannot go in there.

Fuck yeah.

And it's a weird house, but apparently I'm in the will.

Okay.

Nice.

It worked.

You didn't get that bird in the mail.

I hope so.

But I also, like, I took her to her.

She had surgery, and no one else would take her, and I was home for Christmas.

There you go.

And so I went, and it was, like, bad.

I had to stay with her for days.

That's how you get in the will, though.

That's how you get in the film.

I know.

I'm not in the will.

Also, my nickname is Frosted Flake from her because I was not medicated for ADHD in high school yet, and I couldn't find her lighter in her American spirits whenever she needed them.

She smoked a tree.

Frosted Flake.

Frosted Flake.

A.J.

Martin Estate Jewelry.

It's still there.

You should definitely go.

It's the best jewelry in the world.

So, yes, this mansion belongs to silent film star Norma Desmond,

Gloria Swanson.

And she's mad that she's not a star.

She hates sound.

She hates sound.

There's a point where a microphone hits her in the head and she looks at the microphone like, fuck you.

That was amazing.

But also,

she's got the best voice in the world.

Boy, she really does.

She's so fucking performing.

She's made for this.

I know, right?

But the sunglasses, you walk in,

her whole vibe, the style, the sunglasses.

I think she's wearing kind of a turban situation in a robe.

My God, she's so glamorous.

She looks so cool.

So cool.

I love her.

And this is kind of like Gloria Swanson's story in some ways.

She was a silent film star who kind of had trouble transitioning.

She was not crazy.

She did theater and radio and a bunch of stuff.

She was like a really nice lady, apparently.

She didn't even shoot anyone in real life.

No, she didn't shoot a single person.

She was very supportive of other female, like other actresses and stuff.

Yeah, I think

a good egg, but definitely like, you know,

you know, when she was cast in this part, they're like, oh, you know, this is like her.

Yeah.

I think she had some charities that she founded, too.

Yeah, I think by all accounts.

The Dead Monkeys Society.

Finding Homes for Dead Monkeys.

Yep.

The Husband Butler's

America.

Yeah, so this is, she's her monkey has died.

They never really explained the monkey, and I kind of love it.

You're like, okay, this crazy rich person just probably had a monkey.

You think it's a person, and right, yes.

Because it's like the table with the fabric on the duvet or whatever on top of it.

And then you see the arm of the chimp just slop to the side.

Great shot.

And you're like, a banana rolls.

You know, a pile of shit just like

flies at you.

One roller skate falls off of his foot.

Cigar.

Two symbols.

They're like, we get it.

It's a monkey.

We know it's a monkey.

You don't need to kill it.

An organ grinder just goes.

What did I do without my monkey?

But I guess, like, the having the chimp thing, again, I didn't, I thought that was kind of a more recent celebrity thing.

Right, yeah.

I mean, they made me think of Michael Jackson as the first one.

Or Tippy Hedron.

Oh, yeah, Tippy Hedron had a crazy animal.

Well, she had like a cat's things.

I don't think she.

Oh, no, they lived with lions.

Yes.

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

Did you ever watch that movie?

No.

Yeah, there's some movie where her lions are.

I think it's hard to find it.

In it, right?

I believe it's called Roar.

Yes.

There's a documentary about it as well, which I'm not sure if you can watch the movie Roar anymore.

I'm sure you could find it.

But like, yeah, she was married.

I don't remember what.

director she was married to, but it was like they had lions on the property

like that they were living living with, but made it seem like a conservation

type thing.

And then they're making this movie about the lions.

Yeah.

And Melanie Griffith, I guess, got like mauled a little bit.

Did you know that Libya Hedron is the reason why

nail salons?

Yes.

Yes.

Vietnamese women run nail salons.

Yep.

I'm sorry.

What?

She visited Vietnam.

and was so

just devastated by the state in which the country was in, that the people lived in.

And she realized everywhere she went, the women were all like, oh my gosh, look, like they were in awe of her nails.

And so it dawned on her.

She's like, wait, this is, like, I can't help these people, but this is the thing I can give them.

And started the nail tech industry in Vietnam,

which then became what like they immigrated to this country with, with this skill set.

Yeah.

I think, wasn't there like schools or something that she opened that kind of thing?

So, yeah, I remember hearing about that and being like, whoa, that's probably heard it from me, but it's okay.

Yeah, no, no, I've heard about it, but you did a better job of talking about it.

I did a nice job.

It looks like you can buy Roar on Blu-ray.

Oh, thank God it's on Blu-ray.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sure there's a VHS out there.

I think people died on that set.

I don't know.

I mean, people were definitely bitten by the animals.

Well, yeah.

Fucking wild.

Yeah.

So this monkey is dead, but also.

No little doggy?

Like, she needs a little doggy.

She does seem like the type that would have a little doggy.

You're right.

Or tons of cats.

She's a monkey gal, you know?

Jesus.

There's monkey broads out there.

Dog, it's so pedestrian.

Get me a shit.

A dog eat his own shit.

A dog can light a cigarette.

Show me a dog that can swing from a chandelier.

I wonder if she shot the monkey.

Maybe.

Who's this other monkey you've been writing a screenplay with, you slap

sneaking off in the night?

Help me understand something, monkey.

What brand banana do you eat?

From now on, you only cheque.

That's the prequel.

That's the prequel.

Oh, my God.

The monkey.

Coming soon to Peacock, starring Sidney Sweeney or something.

Anyway,

so anyway, so the monkey's dead, but Norma Desmond's also writing a script.

She's writing a script in longhand that she has bound together with twine,

and it looks to it's covering her whole desk, and she like ropes Joe into working on this screenplay that's going to be her like comeback screenplay.

Yeah, well,

he came in the house because he wanted help with a tire.

Yeah.

And then they thought he was the coroner for the monkey corner.

They thought he was the monkey coroner.

Yeah.

But unaddressed for a monkey corner, friend.

Yeah, and then somehow she finds out he's a writer, I guess, is what happens.

And he's like, I'm very expensive.

Yeah, so he, like, all his money problems are gone because this, you know, he's now in this woman's orbit.

That is a great moment because she's like, he's like, oh, you were big in silent movies.

And she's like, I'm still big.

The movies got small.

And she starts complaining about sound.

And then he's like,

I'm a writer.

So sorry.

Don't blame me.

Yeah.

So, yeah, so they, so they like, they like, you know, kind of absorb Joe into their weird world.

It's her and Max and Joe now.

Which it's, here's the thing.

They find out, so she demands that he stays in the room above the garage.

Like Fonzie.

Yeah, but I'm also like, bitch, you got lots of rooms in that house.

Okay, garage, whatever.

But the next morning, all of his things from his apartment are there.

And I was like, okay, they don't, they can't dox people.

So how are they finding this?

And I'm like, oh, the fucking phone book.

Right.

You could literally just find out where everyone lives.

Yeah, we all used to dox ourselves.

I know.

Isn't that crazy?

I just keep thinking about, God, the yellow pages.

I know.

You couldn't have privacy, really, but nobody did that shit because everybody had lives and they were like, I don't need to stock people.

Sure, that's true.

Oh, yeah.

But it was like if some, oh, they have an unlisted number.

It's like, fuck you.

Yeah, you think you're fancy?

Unlisted one.

You sell drugs?

Sure.

I have my address delivered to everybody's house a couple times a year.

Yeah, so we kind of learn some weird stuff.

She gets a bunch of fan mail, but we learn that it's Max sending the fan mail.

There's no locks on the doors.

Mac kind of alludes, Max kind of alludes to the fact that she like commits suicide, and that's why she tries so they can't have locks on the doors.

And then

in one of the

creepiest scenes ever, she throws a New Year's party and doesn't invite anyone, but has a band.

Oh, yeah.

And then it's just her and Joe dancing alone while this like fucking band plays.

And there's like catering put out.

It's terrifying.

This is kind of when we learn that she's like romantically into Joe.

Could have told you from the get-go.

But she does have friends though and Joe refers to them as the wax.

The waxworks.

The waxworks because I guess they're older and they're living in the past kind of thing.

Yeah, so they're all and this is these are all cameos.

Like Bruster Keaton is one of the guys in that scene.

Yeah, totally.

I forget who the other people are.

One of the guys

is

the person from this American, or what is it called?

This American Life.

Ira Glass.

Yeah, it's Ira Glass.

Yeah, guys.

Chuck Dora.

He's a Highlander.

I go over to my friend's house and we play poker.

And we were Silent Home stars.

And now we have weird voices and cannot work.

Yeah, he never would have gotten work.

No, it was from It's a Wonderful Life, the guy who poisons, who almost poisons somebody, the pharmacist from

Old Man Gower.

Yeah, there we go.

I don't pay to be a canary.

Yeah, there we go.

I kind of loved her little card game with her buddies.

I was like, have a big, fabulous house like this.

Have your friends over.

You have a pool.

Why do you need to work against?

I know.

He didn't, like, Joe just sits behind her and like gets drinks for her and lights her cigarettes and stuff.

And this is life.

Like, Buster Keaton did make the transition to sound movies.

And like,

his sound movies made money, but he was such a fucking ugly drunk that he just.

So he's between drinks in this movie, and then eventually, like, he's about 10, 13 years away from appearing in the AIP Beach movies.

Oh, yeah.

AIP?

What's AIP Beach movie?

American International Pictures.

They did, like, it's like all the Roger Corman movies, Vincent Price movies, like all those Edgar Allan Poe movies.

And they did the Frankie and Annette Beach movies.

I've only seen the 80s Back to the Beach, which is a parody of those movies.

So I've never seen the 1980s.

The loving homage.

You know what's crazy is that song Annette Funicello sings with Fishbone, ska, ska, ska, is from the 60s, where it's like, you know, she's like, there's a new dance called the ska.

Remember when fishbone could open a movie?

You right?

Those were the days.

Movies don't have fishbone in them anymore.

The 80s were a better time.

Well, fucking Betty is in all those Disney movies.

Like, she's like

Fred McMurray's girlfriend

in Absent-Minded Professor.

And I think she's in

she's in one of the, she might be in a sequel, like not,

what other one is she in?

She's in like the son of something.

Return of Jafar.

Son of Flubber.

Son of mask.

Yeah, those fucking.

Oh, she is in Flubber.

She has a cameo in the Robin Woods.

No way.

Yeah.

That's why.

Well, I, so.

She's that character, she's trying to become a screenwriter.

Yeah.

Yes.

That's That's like one of Joe's scripts.

So she's trying to help him out or whatever and help herself out at the same time.

I really thought this movie was going to go into them putting Norma Desmond in their script.

In their script, yeah.

Right.

That's where the close-up scene happened.

And boy, was I wrong.

Oh, yeah.

So

he meets Betty again.

So after he kind of flees the world's weirdest party, he goes to a party at his buddy Artie's house.

Fucking Artie rules.

He's a DP.

He's a real jokester.

I like everything Artie says.

He's got a little sweater on.

And this is Artie's like house with all the kind of working-class showbiz people.

Like, you know, we see the contrast.

We see this big mansion, this big fucking empty ass mansion, and then this little apartment.

Everybody's like having fun and having a great time.

I know.

That's a big one.

I think it's supposed to represent a little apartment, but no, it's fucking huge.

It would one day be the Friedzer Friends.

Yeah, I know, right?

You should see my little Armenia apartment.

Sure.

Fucking A, dude.

One bedroom.

But yes, Betty Betty is there.

The reader, they kind of flirt.

And then he goes back to the mansion and we learn that Norma tried to commit suicide.

And he kind of goes to her on the bed.

And then he kind of makes the decision.

He's like, okay, I'm fucking in this.

And then they kiss.

And that's kind of the start of Max being like, or sorry, Joe being like all in on this.

He's like, okay, I guess I'm just like Norma Desmond's dude.

Yeah.

So yes.

Anyway, but kind of in the meantime, the Betty is trying to like reach him about the script, like somebody's interested in the script.

Um, and he is like not giving her the time of day, he's not, yeah, he's like, Which is really confusing to me because I'm watching this going, like, buddy, you and I both know the script with Norma Desmond sucks, like, right, kind of spread out a little bit, sure.

You got a lot of irons in the fire, yeah, a lot of irons in the fire.

You're gonna drop them all, sure, that's why you gotta start another podcast, exactly.

You gotta have so many podcasts that, you know, it's like scratching it.

At this point, it's Stockholm syndrome, I think.

yeah because it's like he doesn't want to be responsible for the death of this

well and he wouldn't be responsible but it's like in his mind be responsible for the death of this like iconic star or whatever

i feel like i i don't i think everybody in this movie is a piece of shit i feel like william holden is just like i can't let my fuck like that caveat was good the party was weird but the champagne was cold the catering at the weird party was amazing but he was kind of resistant to it at first he was like please don't buy that for me Like, I don't want it.

Like, because he knew that if he started letting her do that, then he was going to become completely

absorbed and dependent on her, which exactly would happen.

See, I feel like it was just, I don't want to feel like I have to fuck you, and now I have to fuck you.

Boy, it's you should be a woman dating then.

It is just

the one dinner, and then they're like, you have to.

I'm like, we went to Dave and Buster's.

This is not, I don't have to blow you.

The life of a woman in the Hollywood

Dance, dance, revolution.

Power up cards, cost, Emily?

I like for a man, it's like your life is literally a horror film.

It's just like the life of a woman in Hollywood, which is like, oh, Jesus Christ.

Imagine what it'd be like if, like,

well, the thing is, in New York, it was worse.

In New York, it was worse because I was really broke.

And then you would be like, okay, we're at this thing.

I officially can't go Dutch on this.

So I'm going to have to have him pay.

But out here, I'm like, fuck you.

I can pay for this.

And you don't get any, I don't need you.

But yeah, so I could see him.

He's, his car is being repossessed.

He's like months behind on rent.

He's like, this person is his savior, but it comes at a high cost.

So she is getting calls from Paramount.

And maybe we even kind of think as the audience, like, oh, are they actually interested in this crazy biblical script that they're writing?

Right.

So she goes, they go to the lot.

Like, nobody recognizes her except for the old security guard.

And that really made me happy.

I know.

I love that.

And then

they go to visit Mr.

DeMille on the set of some, you know, kind of like Roman epic that he's supposedly.

I don't know what DeMille looks like.

Is that really DeMille?

That's him.

Yeah, that's him.

I played at his grave.

Okay.

He's in Hollywood forever.

How's the grave?

It's big.

I bet.

It's bigger than Peewee's.

Yeah, so he is a silent film,

which I think is bullshit.

I'm still big.

It's the graves that got small.

So this is actually the guy.

He was a silent film director who, like, you know, moved into, he directed the Ten Commandments.

Yeah.

Twice,

the silent version and the version that plays on TV.

Holy shit, I didn't know that.

Yeah.

I think one of the is it one of the people at the card game, didn't they play like Moses or somebody in the movie?

No, I don't know.

That seems right, though.

Yeah, this movie is full of that stuff.

And yeah, and he's playing himself, and he's, he's fucking great.

And he, like, so she comes and is kind of like interrupting his movie, but, like, he gets everybody to kind of dote on her.

She sits in the director's chair.

And used to work with Gloria Swanson.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

So they've been.

She just meta on very meta.

I know.

And they, they say that, like, oh, the house, Rudolph Valentino was in the house, but they had done movies together.

So yeah, there's a lot of cool stuff like that in this movie.

Yeah, but she does look glorious.

I mean, in this

and that car, I mean, the car comes into it, but I'm insane about that car.

I mean, that car belongs in pictures.

What do you you think about the swan bed?

Did you like the swan bed?

I love that.

That's going to go in my list of favorite bedrooms.

Oh, yeah.

I've got a whole list of favorite movie bedrooms.

Real movie bedroom.

I think that's the greatest movie bedroom.

It's not going to beat the Olson Twins it takes to.

Yeah, nothing I've ever seen.

Well, no, that's the greatest bedroom in the history.

That's the greatest bedroom.

What about the brother and just one of the guys, where every square inch is covered in Playboy centerful?

Hell yeah, bro.

That's my favorite room.

Oh, nice.

We watched a movie.

I forget which one.

Oh, maybe it was Strip to Kill, where there's a guy's house and it's all covered in framed pictures of airplanes yeah oh that's alligator two alligator two yeah yeah uh that to me is the most psychotic character trait someone can have family you go walking in the house you're like god i gotta blow this fucking airplane

i mean no the worst bedroom i ever went into with a guy he had velcro walls Oh, that's

kind of rule, though.

No, because you'd think I'd get to wear a Velcro suit and be on it.

No, he just had all of his things on it.

You're shitting me.

Everything.

Functional.

Yeah, no, he put his TV on there, and then the remote control had Velcro on it.

When I first walked in, he goes, check this out.

And he had a pin, and he threw the pin against the wall.

And I was like, and I'm dry.

Dry as Velcro.

Dry as, yes.

Because I was like, if you got it.

When you took off your pants, it went,

I was like, if there's a crochet Velco suit, I'm in.

There was no such thing.

Nothing.

It was also in the bathroom, too.

So he had his iPad on the wall of the bathroom in the Velcro, and then the toothpaste was on the wall, toothbrush, everything.

This was like something Kramer would have done.

He was a steady cam operator.

Okay.

He owned his own steady cam.

He sounds very stable.

Yeah.

If you have a steady cam, he still messages me on Instagram from time to time.

Have you listened to this Velcro guy?

How you doing?

Yeah.

He's all right.

He was an okay.

He sounds cool to me.

He was a cool guy.

So, but yeah, I love this scene too.

I think that, like, I, and, you know, like, I like like how this movie doesn't just make her a punchline or make her a scary character.

Like,

it feels bad for her.

It realizes that the world has left her behind.

Like, people like this.

And I love how

Mr.

DeMille, like, is nice to her and tries to make this idea.

That's terrifying.

And what's brutal is she has no clue.

Totally.

So, yeah, so what happened was Paramount's been calling because they want to rent her car.

Yeah.

But she thinks it's because of the movie, but they kind of send her off with a vague, like, we'll call you kind of thing.

But yeah, it was a really sweet, like heartbreaking scene.

But while they're there, Joe meets Betty.

She tells him about the script, and that's when they start working on it together in secret.

Yep.

And so, yeah, Artie,

the guy she's dating, who's an AD, he's like off shooting a movie in Arizona.

They're engaged.

They're engaged.

Yes, they're engaged.

But then, you know, Joe and Betty are like working on this script together and like, you know, will they, won't they?

All over it.

Oh, yeah.

And yeah, and I like, I like this bit of it too.

I like seeing two people like bonding over being creative.

Like that's a very like fun kind of like hot thing that you don't see in movies a lot.

It's like people like, oh, they're doing a project together.

I don't know.

I kind of liked it.

Yeah.

And then she kind of like dumps her backstory on him, which is she is from a showbiz family.

She's from a family of like lifers.

Mom still works in the wardrobe department.

And she was going to be an actor, but her nose, she's like, I got my nose fixed.

And they still said my nose was weird.

So I want to be a writer.

No, they said she was a bad actor.

Oh, Oh, that's right.

Yes.

Yeah, she fixed her nose and she never knows.

She never knows her lines.

Yeah, Halloween scenes were real stinkers.

These are nose jokes that you can make.

But yeah, I love how the movie gives her this backstory that's interesting.

I don't know.

This movie is so nice to the character.

Except Joe, who's a piece of shit who's so sorry.

But to everybody else, it's it.

The other cool thing is that she's this girl who has been told she's not a a good actress and she's not delusional about being rejected.

Right.

Whereas Norma Desmond is just this delusion about being still the biggest star in the world.

This girl is just like, I completely know I wasn't a good actress and that's okay.

I'll do something else.

So it's just the complete yin-yang, I should say.

She's like the janitor in the breakfast club.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he's cool with it.

The only person comfortable in his own skin in that whole movie.

Yeah.

So yeah.

So this is all kind of setting up the shit that is about to hit the fan.

And we're going to talk about it it right after this.

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We're here with Matt McCarthy.

We are talking about Sunset Boulevard.

So, Joe is working on this script with Betty in secret, but that's like worse than cheating.

Yeah.

They have a little moment where they like kiss,

and then he kind of like flees to Norma Desmond's house, who like kind of knows something's going on.

And so she starts calling Betty, who like lives with a roommate.

I laugh so fucking hard at this.

So she's like, Betty is like, Norma Desmond is like calling the house looking for Betty.

And her roommate says, it's that weird sounding woman again.

Just love so even they know that she sounds crazy.

Yeah, it would have been like in modern, like if they updated this, it would be like she thinks it's a prank call.

Like, yeah, it's the woman pretending to be Norma Desmond again.

Right, yeah.

She's doing this insane character.

Yeah.

So.

And he has an accent too, Max.

Don't they say he sounds weird too?

Yeah, Max is like, Max is like, I think supposed to be German.

Oh, and we didn't reveal the two giant bombs about Max.

So this is what we learn.

He was her director.

He was her original director when she was 16.

Ew.

And he was her first husband.

Ew.

She's been listening to them.

Fuck.

Your first.

Well, it makes you think, like, okay, she does this thing where she traps you

by threatening to kill herself, essentially,

and ends up just wrapping you into her stuff.

Like, he is trapped there and has just learned to love his cage.

But what happened to the other two husbands is what I'm wondering.

Right?

This is why we need the peacock prequel with Sidney Sweeney.

I think Max got rid of the other two husbands.

Maybe, personally.

Maybe.

One of them was the chimp.

So, yeah.

Oh, that would be funny.

If there was just in the background a wedding photo of her and the chimp, and that's all you got.

Oh, shit.

So,

but Joe has decided, like, I'm going to blow this whole thing up.

So he calls Betty.

This is so fucking cruel that he calls Betty and makes her do this.

I mean, very dramatically taught, but also so crazy.

So he's like, he tells Betty to come over and just explains this to her and like, you know, devastates her,

you know, and tells Norman Desmond he's going to like pack and go back to Ohio and like write for the local newspaper, which, by the way, fucking great fallback plan.

Oh, no, kidding.

I love that back then you could just get another job.

Right.

And there was a local newspaper

for.

It'd be like, oh, we're filled with openings.

Here, here's money and a car.

Oh, a white man.

Come on in.

Come on in.

You're hired.

Yeah, here's a house.

Yeah.

Can you do that?

Get another one if you want.

Can you write all of your ABCs?

You're hired.

Why we are looking for a new editor-in-chief.

Here's your 10 a.m.

whiskey.

Anyway,

so like shit's hitting the fan.

You know, Betty realizes what's been going on.

He kind of like tries to get her to go back to Artie.

Which she should.

And we learned, this was hilarious to me too.

We learned that Norma Desmond this whole time has been 50.

She's acting so crazy.

It's like, eh, you know, she's that old.

Yeah.

No.

It is 50.

It is very strange in this movie.

I know that we're supposed to look at her and think she's old, but that's purely based on her wearing like 1920s flapper-like garb.

Well, I think that to me looking at this, because I don't think that age has anything to do with beauty personally.

Sure.

Because I've seen plenty of ugly young people.

Oh, yeah.

And,

you know, they exist.

But she looks,

I mean, but she's so beautiful.

I just think that the style and everything, it's the most beautiful, glamorous woman I've ever seen.

I love her so much that it just was like, God, you could just be this.

You don't have to go back and you could just be the most fabulous woman in Hollywood.

And she's rich, too.

It's not like she's aching for money.

No, she's got oil in Bakersfield.

Right.

Yeah.

She talks about her investments at some point.

At one point, I'm just like, girl, just

start your own studio.

You could be

a movie.

that is such a good point she is she's like i know like howard hughes made a bunch of like movies just basically anyway um but a woman had never done a telephone we can't go near the cameras they make us hysterical yeah we haven't learned to lean in yet yes was william holden in it or am i thinking of

oh fuck who is the lead in ice station zero

But Howard Hughes owned a television station in Las Vegas.

And obviously, this is before the days of VCRs.

Whenever he was going to visit Vegas, he would have someone call ahead to the TV station to play Ice Station Zero.

And

it played more times in Las Vegas than in anywhere else in the world because he owned the TV station and he wanted to watch it whenever he was in town.

Damn.

I don't know what this movie is at all.

I think now I need to see it.

Who is the lead in it?

Is it William Holden?

Well, no.

There's Ice Station Zebra.

Oh, what was I saying?

Zero?

I only know it from that anecdote.

I've actually never watched it either.

Ice Station Zebra.

With Rock Hudson.

Rock Hudson.

That's who it was.

So, yeah.

So

Joe's kind of like blown the whole thing up.

He goes to leave, but he kind of knows what's coming.

She's got a gun, and she shoots him.

He falls in the pool.

They come out the next day.

The dudes pull him out of the pool.

He's clearly breathing.

It's very obvious.

Kind of like, you know,

maybe ultra HD doesn't help that at all.

But yes, the man is taking deep, labored breaths.

He's blinking and shit.

Fine.

Yeah.

Smoking.

He's smoking.

He keeps saying on.

Yeah.

But so, so, you know, Norma Desmond is like now full crazy.

She's just catatonic in her room, but all the press is here, but they need to get her to come down.

How are we going to, how are the police going to get this lady out?

Just some real white privilege here.

The police are like, Well, we gotta come out.

Yeah, maybe we should just leave her alone, and maybe she's really sorry about it.

Sure, yeah, yeah, no wait.

Um, but they, Max tells her that the cameras are there to film the movie, and then she descends the staircase and says, We're gonna need a bigger boat.

That's right,

and then that's that's the end of the movie.

But Max, too, it's just like, God, he loves her.

Yeah, totally.

He fears her and loves her, and it was like, I felt so sad.

I feel bad for him.

Very codependent.

Very, yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

if this was our modern, open, more open-minded times, they would be a thrupple.

Absolutely.

Joe, maybe, maybe Betty, they fold Betty and Artie in there.

Yeah.

Everybody just fucks at Burning Man.

Exactly.

And that's a better world.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Anyway.

Velcro wall guy was a Burning Man guy.

No, no.

Gas.

Gas.

No way.

Yeah, you probably heard wrong.

No.

You probably misheard.

He had this thing called the glitter gals that he would do because money doesn't work there.

So his bartering thing was girls who were naked in baby pools of oil and you could like, there was glitter in it and you could rub the glitter all over the girls.

I went to Bernie Man once.

He asked me to do it.

Anyway.

And I said, no.

Wait,

Velcro guy had two girls willing to.

Multiple girls.

Damn, he must have been really hot or something.

He had his own steady cam.

Yeah, and he wore finger shoes, toe shoes.

Mm-hmm.

It's all tracks.

Jesus Christ.

Anyway, a legend.

Hey, we're going to rank Sunset Boulevard on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials.

But first, you know, we got to do the hunk watch.

It's hunk watch.

Matt McCarthy, for you, we pick a hunk of the movie.

It could be, you know, it could be a dude, obviously.

That's your traditional hunk, but it can be someone of any gender.

It could even be things or animals or the predator,

the monkey.

Do you have a hunk in mind?

I don't know, and this is going to sound like a setup, but I don't know if you've ever seen Buster Keaton without a shirt on.

No.

That dude was jacked for fucking days.

He did stunts, so he probably had to be.

This guy, like, didn't, I mean, he invented stunts.

I mean, there's a, I forget which movie it's in,

but like

a truck drives by and he grabs the pole on the back of it and it just yanks him off the fucking out of the frame.

And it was like, if anybody else did that, they would have dislocated their shoulders.

Strong core.

Fucking core for days.

He broke his fucking neck

in a movie and didn't know until years later.

Wow.

He was running on top of a train that was moving and he stayed in the center of the frame and it's right in front of like the water that they would pull in to cool off the

engines or whatever, or the steam locomotives.

And so, then, as you're getting closer and closer to the end of the train, I think this is Sherlock Jr., he jumps and he grabs the cord.

He misjudged the power of the water, and it sprayed him and just slammed him down on the ground.

Oh, my God.

And he said he had booming headaches for a long time after that, and he didn't know that he had broken his neck.

So, Buster Keaton, hunk of the movie.

Oh,

the man's a hunk.

Check out the cum gutters on Keaton.

They call him Buster because he makes you bust.

Oh, yeah.

He'll drink you under the table.

He'll smoke your old lady's cigarettes.

He'll fuck you, monkey, Desmond.

Matt, leave, thoughts on the hunks of the film?

Yeah, I have a strange, very random hunk in this movie.

The blonde girl at the New Year's party who says the phone is ready.

Yeah, she's hot.

Oh, my God.

The giggling, giggling.

She says she has one line other than giggling.

And I looked at her.

I had to like pause it.

She was cute.

Damn.

She liked 1940s Sidney Sweeney.

Immediately I was like, I want to use your bathwater.

To make soap sad that I buy on eBay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I, me, personally, my hunk of the movie.

I'm an Artie guy.

Artie was great.

I love a fun, below-the-line guy.

I think that's a fun type of guy.

Great sweaters.

Everything he said was funny.

Great fucking attitude.

I hope everything worked out for Artie.

Yep.

Emily, what do you think?

The car.

You like the car?

Okay.

I love that car.

I don't drive.

Anyway, have we watched Titane yet?

I just thought you had that notion.

No, I mean, it's just I don't drive, but man, every once in a while there's a car that makes me go, I like cars.

Okay,

that one's amazing.

Well, those are the hunks of Sunset Boulevard.

We are going to rank the movie on a scale of one to ten Super Loud Commercials when we come back.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

Before we rank the movie, we want to remind you: go to maximumfun.org/slash join.

That's how you support the show, support the network, and hear all our bonus episodes.

Guys, spooky season.

It's a here.

We're all filled with pumpkin spice and have our witches' hats up our butts.

I don't know.

And

wearing ghost sheets.

We're all wearing ghost sheets.

So our bonus episode this month is the pilot of the Twilight Zone.

This should be available for listening now.

Max can fill it up.

It is available now.

Yes.

MaximumFun.org slash join.

You get to hear our bonus episodes and all the bonus episodes from all the shows on the network.

It's a ton of stuff.

Maximumfun.org slash join and maxfunstore.com to get our merch.

We made a call for pics of your pets with merch.

Yeah.

We've gotten fucking jacked shit.

Yeah, what's up?

That's what that is.

Put the hat on the cat.

Yeah.

Cat in a hat.

You ever heard of it?

It's a favorite.

And we, anyway.

Put the shirt on your monkey.

Put the shirt on the monkey.

You're a little underdressed for a dead monkey.

You need a hat that says the worst hat.

We've got it.

MaxFunStore.com.

Okay, Matt McCarthy, you're our guest.

We want you to rank it first on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials.

What do you give this film?

I mean, probably a nine.

Nice.

Yeah.

What do I say now?

Super loud commercials?

Yeah.

You can say nine.

You can just say what nine.

You like the movie?

Nine.

Flow from progressive.

The gut-go's here.

I mean, it's a perfect movie.

The movie.

Right.

It's a perfect movie, but it's like, it's not.

For me, a 10 would be something I'll want to.

I could watch anytime.

Yeah.

Whereas this movie,

it does feel like school.

Yeah.

I'm with you.

It doesn't even feel like,

and I love film noir.

It doesn't even feel like a noir to me.

But I mean, it fits.

You know, it's about the seedy underbelly.

I think it also, it's a little too,

everybody's an asshole.

Sure.

Yeah.

So, like, a big thing for me.

Not Artie.

Is he really shooting a movie in Arizona or is he getting his dick dry?

Yeah.

That's when you're fucking Arizona.

Your dick gets dried out.

He's hanging out with the Velcro guys.

The biggest thing for me with a movie, less with a movie, but like with a TV show, is like, do I want to spend time with these people?

Yeah.

You know, like a movie, it's better because I'm like, okay, the end is in sight.

Right.

So it's like, all right, these people are all fucking lunatics, but at least the credit's going to roll in 15.

Yeah.

But

that explains your one Star Wars idea.

So he's just like, I don't like that they made a bunch of them.

I don't want to hang on.

Darth Vader again.

I just have to find out who the guy's sister is.

Well,

it's stupid that they like it.

It is.

It's stupid.

And I love, and I love all of Star Wars.

I love the shows.

I love

the second trilogy sequels.

I dig it all.

But it is like,

it ruins the point of the first one.

The first one was supposed to be about a type of movie.

And it's like, it's supposed to be, can you imagine if there was like, you could have discussions about Star Wars?

Like, well, you know, Darth Vader means dark father in Norwegian or whatever.

So it's like, I think that that, because that's the look that they give each other about, like, whenever they mention his dad.

and instead, there's no subtlety, there's no nuance.

They had to make a bunch of not another teen movies.

Yeah, I'm just saying, like, like more American graffiti was not the right move.

Yeah,

it was better that we just saw the glimpse of them in that summer as opposed to actually making a sequel and Ron Howard having a mustache.

It's not, yeah,

also that's that's my EY.

It's also George Lucas.

Exactly.

That's why I brought it up.

Yeah, there's a connection.

Like, if they'd made THX 1139,

it's just, it's also dressed loose.

Blue Tails.

That's why I brought it up.

I love that movie.

Thank you, Matt Lee.

Matt Lee, what do you give this movie 1 to 10 Super Light commercial?

I am giving this movie a 9 as well.

I really enjoyed it.

It was my first time seeing it.

And you know what?

It was entertaining throughout.

And I loved finally understanding where certain lines from,

you know, culture come from.

And it just, to me,

I came in with sort of mid-expectations, and they surpassed them.

I very much enjoyed it.

Great acting.

And that lady was ready, who was done with the phone, was super high.

That's something they could do if they want to remake Charles Dickens for Gen Z.

Mid-expectations.

Yo, shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, dude.

Anyway.

Miss Havisham is capping.

Sure.

She snatched.

Her dress be busting.

Emily, what do you think?

One of 10 super black.

I'm giving it a nine as well.

It is, it,

it's one of, you know, when we watched Vertigo, it really fucked me up.

Yeah.

This is fucking going to fuck me up for a little while.

Like this, it's so disturbing.

Sure.

And that last scene is so disturbing.

I feel like when you're in show business, like as we are all,

the fear of becoming delusional and obsessed with like

yourself and what you've done in the past, versus it's like that is a real fear, I don't know, of losing it as you get older.

So it just felt, it just disturbed me very much.

Now that I know what the ending actually was and it wasn't like a movie.

They're actually shooting a movie, but her going to jail.

I thought, yeah, I know that was, that was a twist.

I'm glad I didn't know that and going in because it was very disturbing.

The one I meant to mention, I think it was on the AFI Top 100.

I don't remember who said it, if it was a director or a a writer, but when they got to this movie, the person made the point of like, he winds up, like, he's a failed writer who winds up dead in a pool instead of just a failed writer dead in the secretarial pool.

Right.

Which I was like, holy shit.

Okay.

Bars.

Right.

Bars.

Bars.

Yeah, I'm going to join you guys here on Cloud9 and also give it a nine.

I think this is like, this is, it's totally an amazing movie.

I think maybe I will like reserve my personal tens for something that's like a little weirder, something that maybe like hits me in the lizard brain a little bit harder.

But yeah,

it's not a joyful movie to watch, it's not something I want to watch a lot, yeah.

But I'm glad that I watch it.

It's awesome, yeah.

And it's just, and you know, great, great, great to have easy, an easily accessible, nice-looking version of a classic.

We love that.

Nines all around, nines all around.

Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine.

Oh, wow.

Thanks, Hitler.

Was that the news?

That's Vinglorious Bastards Hitler.

All nines.

You know how long I've been waiting to do this?

Wow.

Really?

You've had that.

You've had that ready and waiting, but you haven't used Desert Rose again?

No, I've been just concentrating on this.

God damn it.

Well, that is our review of Sunset Boulevard, Matt McCarthy.

Thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you.

Tell us where we can see your wonderful VHS collection and talk about anything else you want to.

You can follow me on all forms of social media at McCarthy Redhead.

TikTok is the place to be.

If you want to join the Video Garage Video Movie Club, that's my Patreon.

You can have access to all the digitized VHS tapes that I find at estate sales and garage sales and that people send me.

We're up to, we have like over three terabytes of digitized VHS footage

from like literally from 1977 might be our oldest VHS tape, all the way up until like 2016.

Somebody was still taping stuff in 2016.

Yeah, and every year in between, I feel like just about.

But,

yeah, and I'm on tour with Pete Holmes.

Go to PeteHolmes.com.

Hell yes.

Whatever city he's going to be in, I'll be featuring with Pete.

And

I'm starting a podcast.

I have the We Watch Wrestling podcast.

We've been going strong for over a decade, and I'm starting a podcast about the history of video stores.

And I think I'm going to call it VHS Tapes or Magic.

Okay.

Yay.

I was going to call it the Video Movie Club, and then we talked you out of it.

Well, it's funny.

You just randomly said one of my catchphrases, VHS Tapes are magic.

I was like, holy fucking shit.

That is what the show should be called.

It's so good.

It's such a good name for anything.

It is.

Thank you for being here, Matt.

Thanks for having me.

Check out Matt in all of the places he mentioned.

Emily, anything to plug?

Well, I just want to plug Good Mythical Weekend,

which Matt, Jordan, and myself are all part of.

It's on Saturdays on the Good Mythical Morning channel on YouTube.

So check us out on Saturdays.

Also, watch Good Mythical Morning all the time.

Sure, yeah.

We're on there doing stuff, eating weird shit, playing games, doing challenges.

It's fun.

Good Mythical Morning over there on YouTube.

Matt, you got anything?

Yes.

Tomorrow,

October 1st, you can go to the Ice House in Pasadena and see myself and my wife, Francesca Fiorentini.

My wife.

Yeah, it's a fun show called New World Disorder.

Get your tickets now, Pasadena Ice House.

Do it.

And a little something for your comic book pull list.

On October 22nd, you can get a copy of Predator Black, White, and Blood, a Predator anthology with a story by me and artist Raphael Lenko.

It's about a cute doggie that fights the Predator.

Predator, Black, White, and Blood number four.

And if you're in the LA area, I am going to be signing that book with the great Cody Ziglar, who's also part of that book.

We're going to be signing the book Saturday, October 25th, 4 to 6 p.m.

at Things from Another World at Universal City Walk.

So come on down to that Predator, Black, White, and Blood number four.

Next week,

October is a here.

Spooky season.

She is laying her breast upon us

this Hallows Eve.

So,

we are celebrating once again the festival of Halloween,

a month of spooky movies where we'll probably also make penis jokes because you know, you've heard the show.

So, with that said, we got a lot of fun, spooky stuff coming at you for October.

Tune in next week when our movie will be Killer Clowns from Outer Space

E-Pop Ork.

Ah!

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