The Ring

This is Free with Ads, the podcast that asked the question: why pay $100 a night to stay in a cabin where you'll find a haunted videotape when you can go online for free and watch a movie about a haunted videotape that will terrify you with bizarre images like dead animals and the low-rise genes of the early aughts?

I'm Jordan Morris.

And I'm Emily Fleming.

Today's movie is The Ring, a movie that harkens back to a simpler time when people would entertain themselves by playing random, unlabeled videotapes.

With us, as always, is the super producer, the He freak, Matt Lieb, hitting us with those cryptic drops.

Seven days.

Shit, man.

I can't believe you did that one.

Yeah, yeah.

It

took a lot of audio editing to get that to be audible to anybody.

I know.

It's so subtle.

Did you guys, when I saw this the first time, somebody's cell phone went off in the theater?

Oh, no.

Nice.

Terrifying.

That should have been a viral marketing thing for when that, like, as soon as the movie ended, they should have played cell phones.

Yeah.

Anyway, we will talk about this movie, The Ring, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads.

We're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.

Guys, I was browsing around Cameo this week.

Cameo, the website where you go to buy personal messages from.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

There you go.

I'm on there too.

You are?

Are you both on cameo?

Well, I wasn't.

Why are you on there, Jordan?

Don't want to do it.

Oh, okay.

Oh, wow.

That's actually really reasonable too.

It is.

Would rather die.

Honestly, it is a little stressful because I'm always worried that I'm not going to give them what they want.

But you do your best.

What sorts of cameos have you done?

I've just done with birthdays, anniversaries.

Okay.

There's been an occasional weird one.

One was a guy who wanted me to fake faint.

I think we've heard about that one on the show.

And I did it, no problem.

He requested me to do it again.

And I went, you know, I don't think I want to do it again.

And he went, I totally get it.

And he was fine with it.

But most of the time, it's just stuff like that.

But people will say,

like, kind of, tell her she's the best

something.

And then they'll give an like a alliteration for something.

And I won't know what it is.

And I'll try to look it up.

And the only thing will be some military, like, okay, creepy lingo.

But I'll do it anyway and go, I looked it up.

This seems bad.

So if it's bad, fuck that.

But also, happy birthday.

It's like, like there was something about like prisoners of war.

Okay.

Like there was some like, you know, is it alliteration?

What is it when it's an initialism?

When it's like letters that stand for it.

Acronym.

Acronym.

Thank you.

There was an acronym that it was like

prisoners of, like something like that.

And I went, if it's that, I don't think you're the best employee of that, but also like happy.

Whatever happened to happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary, goddammit.

But, you know, you do your best and try to give good advice and try to be nice.

But it is a little stressful that you might say the wrong thing.

Oh, nice.

Matt, you're on here too.

What have you had to do on cameo?

It was mostly for people who listen to

my other podcast, The Frontcast.

And it was just people would ask me because I told them years ago that I do pretty much anything for $40.

And so

with the fees taken out.

Well, right.

I mean, listen, I told them about the fees.

I was like, guys, it's got to be like $45.

And so it was mostly people just wanting me to repeat bits from another boss.

Yeah, and it was fun for a little bit, but then

I kind of felt weird about it because it was too parasocial.

They're like, can you talk about fucking the fish to my friend Craig?

And I was like,

I have to explain that I fucked a big mouth billy bass to some guy.

Why?

He won't like it.

Yeah, well, you should have another price point for stuff like that, but they don't really give you access to that in the app.

I think they should.

I'm looking at both of your pages here um no oh no

five stars emily fleming 4.94 stars i think it's because you've done more than i have and also

you denied that one guy's faith request yeah well there was one lady who gave me um a lower rating because my video wasn't long enough to her like liking she was like it was barely over a minute and i was like oh i i guess i did everything you asked me to do but you wanted it to be longer like

talk slow or I guess.

The funny thing is, like, she had requested me to put my face on a glass table

and, like, put the phone under the glass table and for me to, like, blow raspberries into it, but I didn't do it long enough.

So, she gave me a lower rating.

And so then I did another one that was longer to try to appease her.

But I still guess I got a lower rating in it.

That is crazy.

That's like a, it's close to a glass bottom boat, but it's not quite.

Yeah.

You guys know what I'm talking about?

Glass bottom boat.

They make the rockin' world go round.

Sometimes somebody shits on a glass table.

That's right.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

I mean, they do make the rock and world go round.

Different than a Hot Carl, which, of course, is saran wrap over the face.

Different than a Cleveland Steamer, which is on the chest.

The world of sexuality and poop is beautiful.

I just got out of dog sitting.

The amount of poop I've been picking up.

Oh, yeah.

And I don't mind the poop thing, but I always take a walk-in drink with me.

So I got a little beverage and then I'll hold the poop on one finger because you like tie the thing up and you put your finger through the thing and then I'll put the drink to my lip and realize, oh, I got a bag of shit in this hand.

It's right there.

Wild.

Thin, thin line between you and the shit.

That's how much I like the boost.

As I was saying, I'm on, I was on cameo.

I thought you were.

I was on, just like browsing the web.

For the purpose of me setting up this.

Oh, okay.

I had an idea for a bit, and I'm setting it up by saying I was browsing around cameo.

Okay, sorry.

We meandered.

Not a problem.

So I was browsing around on cameo.

I had the thought, I wonder if the people from the movies we've watched are on cameo.

And so I put together a little quiz called the Cameo Quiz.

Matt, play the theme music.

It's the cam to the cameo quiz.

Yeah.

Yes.

That is fine, right?

I'm glad we went back and did that.

Oh, yeah.

It was worth it.

So, okay, I'm going to give you two people that we have watched movies featuring and you tell me who is charging more on cameo okay this is a great quiz thank you Emily we'll go Emily Matt Emily Matt and there's a tiebreaker okay Emily this is the 90s hunks edition okay who is charging more on cameo ian ziering from sharknado or james marsters spike from buffy james marsters

You wanted, you're locking in that answer?

You sound confident.

Well, because as someone who's on cameo, he's always in the top top 10.

Okay.

He is a cameo king.

Maybe he's less because that's like why he just does so many.

But I'm

and maybe Ian Zeering charges more because he does less.

Yeah, it's a supply and demand.

God damn it.

This is hard.

But I'm going James Carster's family.

And I think there's a logic there.

Like, is there a more intense hive than the Buffy?

Well, here's many.

Here's what it is.

Like, last year when I started doing cameo around Christmas, I was number 35.

Wow.

On cameo because I was doing so many.

And then you blew those short-ass raspberries and everybody's like, get out of it.

Exactly.

Well, I also just, you know, when you're first on it, I'm sure that you're in high demand, but it was like it was the holidays and I was just doing so many.

And it was like, I was at 35, but I was always like, who's at the top?

It was Marsters.

Marsters.

And then.

It's like Kevin from the office, right?

Was the cameo king for me?

Maybe.

There's like a a couple other people that I've never heard of.

Ada Toturo.

She was huge.

She played Janice Soprano on the Soprano.

Oh.

Yeah, she was like up there.

Well,

Emily.

Yeah.

James Marsters on cameo, $60.

Not bad.

Ian Zeering on cameo.

Oh, God.

$200.

Fuck him.

Marsters, you need to up your price.

You deserve it.

You're worth it.

You're an iconic vampire.

Also, I'm 40, and I feel bad now that I'm $40 because he's only 60.

That kind of makes sense, though, because you really are limiting your options if you do a $200 one.

But then you're doing, you know what?

It is a lot of work.

I'm going to just say it's a lot of work because you want, because they can also post these to their TikToks.

Right.

And people have.

People have taken the ones I've sent them and then posted them so then everyone can see what I posted.

I think there's a way to privatize them, but I don't want to do that.

I want to be like somebody that anything I say is okay, and I want you to be able to post it.

But if you got 20 to do in one day, you're bound to make a mistake.

Well, I'll give you $60.

Okay, so the score is zero to zero.

Okay, this one's free.

Damn.

This is a good game because I bet you researched that he was at the top.

This is the daddy edition.

Okay.

Peter Fansinelli.

This is one of the,

this is one of the evil vampires from Twilight.

Okay.

And Lou Diamond Phillips, who we watched in Bats.

Oh, you don't even have to say what he's from.

We all know.

We all know Lou Diamond Phillips.

He's one of the most famous.

He's Lamb.

He's still alive, though.

He's alive.

Oh, he's still alive.

He's looking great.

He looks

all over CBS, I'm sure.

Uh-huh.

Amen.

Making our moms horny.

Yep.

It's got to be Lou Diamond Phillips.

I mean, he's just, I mean, he's famous.

But is he on cameo at all?

Everyone here is someone I saw on cameo.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm locking in Lou Diamond Phillips.

Lou Diamond Phillips, $175.

Nice.

Peter Fansinelli, $189.

Whoa!

The Twilight people.

The Twilight People are fucking serious.

That one fandom propels him above Lou Diamond Phillips, who has this crazy career.

He's got a brilliant oeuvre.

He does.

You know, he did La Bamba.

He did Bats.

Bats.

Need we go on.

Yeah, need we.

Can we go on?

We don't need to.

Emily, this next one's for you.

This is the voice actor.

Okay, okay.

Charles Fleischer, who is the voice of Roger Rabbit, or Richard Horwitz, the voice of Alpha 5 from Power Rangers.

Oh, wow.

Aye aye, was his catchphrase.

Aye aya.

I'm going to go with Alpha.

I'm going to go with that one as more expensive.

Oh, God.

This is...

You want to talk it out?

It seems like it's a difficult decision.

Okay, well, I think about it in terms of,

oh, God.

That,

like, people who use cameo, I would think, is of a younger generation, right?

Which also I think millennials have watched

Roger Rabbit.

We all know it.

Sure.

But a little more of a Jet X thing, I think.

I sometimes think the niche things.

No,

I don't know.

Now, are you locking it?

Are you the last one is so hard.

I'm going to go with Alpha.

I'm going to go with Alpha.

Richard Horwitz, Alpha 5, $140.

Okay.

Charles Fleischer, the voice of Roger Rabbit, $100.

Oh, okay.

The thing about Richard Horwitz, so many iconic characters.

Not only is the Power Ranger weirdos, he was Invader Zim.

He was one of the Angry Beavers.

He's Billy from Billy and Manny.

Look at this.

He's an Angry Beaver.

He's one of the Angry Beavers.

Yeah, so I think that, I mean, obviously, the Power Rangers people are so intense, but I think those other fandoms drive up his price a little bit more.

Wow.

That makes me really happy that people will pay for that because they deserve to be paid for that.

And both of those guys are so funny.

Yeah, both brilliant voice actors.

Okay, Matt, this is your category is minor character in a 90s cult hit.

Oh, okay.

This is Bo Jesse Christopher.

He played LBJ and Point Break.

I'm sorry, LBJ.

LBJ, the guy who with the m the guy who wore the LBJ mask.

Okay.

And then...

Did he die in the bank?

I believe he...

Did he?

Was he the guy who gets shot in the bank?

It might be.

Okay.

And Rina Rifle, the minor character Penny Slot from Showgirls.

Oh, my God.

She's actually the star of Showgirls 2, which exists.

What?

There's a second one?

I guess so.

We're going to have to do it.

And stars.

She's

Penny Slot.

She's one of the girls who works at the Cheetah.

And that's her real name.

That's not the character's name.

Penny Slot is the character's name, and Rina Rifle is the actor's name.

I don't know.

Damn, it's hard to say.

It's hard to say because those are both cool names.

I got to say Showgirls 2 because I feel like the first person you said,

I mean, I've already forgotten whether they played LBJ and fucking,

I just can't, I can't see it.

I can't see it.

It's got to be

Penny Slot, aka Rena Rifle.

Rena Rifle, Penny Slot, $75.

Bo Jesse Christopher, $50.

You're right.

One-to-one.

It all comes down to the tiebreaker question.

Okay, say your name to Buzz In.

Who is charging more?

This is the beautiful voice category.

Oh, we have the Buzz In about it?

Yeah, but you got to say your name and a buzz.

My name?

Yeah, you're all.

You can say whatever.

You can just say wah if you want to.

Okay.

I'm going to say my name.

Matt could say his name.

Because those were the rules.

Say my name.

Okay, this is the beautiful voice edition.

Okay.

Mandy Ingber.

She is the woman who sang Top That from Teen Witch.

Top That.

It's her.

You lock.

I'm locked in.

I didn't even hear the second option.

The other option.

Wait till I finish saying the second option.

Janet Varney, who was the guest on our episode about the faculty.

Matt.

Matt?

Matt, I buzzed in.

Okay, Matt, do you want to guess?

Janet Varney.

Janet Varney, and I'm locking it in.

Janet Varney, $70.

Mandy Ingber, the woman who sang top that in Teen Witch, $50.

Matt, you are the winner of the Cameo quiz.

Hit that theme music.

It's fun.

Yes.

The song Word Up by Cameo.

Okay.

Dang.

If I had heard Janet Varney beforehand, I would have said

well done.

That's why you never buzz in early.

I know, I know.

Anyway, and hey, listen, I can hear all your little wheels turning and your cute little heads out there.

You're like, I should buy a cameo from one of these people for free with ads.

Yeah.

I was going to say don't.

Just go to maximumfund.org slash join, get a membership, and then tell us what you would have said.

For one Ian Zeering cameo, you can become a Max Fun member for like four years.

Honestly, it's a better investment.

It's a better investment.

You get bonus episodes.

Yeah.

So we thank you for thinking that, little cuties, but don't do it.

Yes, I get a lot of anxiety doing cameos, and I would appreciate it if you didn't do that to me.

Oh, but you can buy one from Emily and Matt.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm saying that's okay.

Don't buy one from me.

I forgot my login.

Jesus.

But I would rather you log on to

Maxim Fun.

I was trying to head off people who are like, I'm going to buy an Ian Zeering cameo for.

Oh, well, don't take it away from me in Zeering.

No, you don't

feel free to take it away.

Well, his hairline says otherwise.

That's true.

That's fired.

Sorry.

I think for blonde people, it's harder to make the plugs work.

Somebody's gone in for Cameo King.

Well, hey, we're going to talk about The Ring, but before we do, we want to let you know this movie contains suicide.

So if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, we're going to play some music and give you a chance to find another episode.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

We're talking about the ring.

It's Howlo Peen, our celebration of horror movies, where we probably also make dick jokes because, you know, you've heard the show.

Yep.

Emily, you have said many times that this is your favorite horror movie.

Yes, sir.

Talk about the first time you saw it.

Have you watched every movie in the franchise?

no, I mean, okay,

so I saw this in theaters in 2002.

Um, the viral like campaign, like everything people kept talking about how scary it was.

Um, I feel like this, it was 2002, so there was like the 90s was always this self-referential, like kind of horror thing with Scream.

And I know

everything was kind of like horror is a joke,

and then this was such a sincere,

like

hardcore.

Also, I consider this to be a feminine horror movie.

And I think this is the first horror movie that made me feel connected to it because it's about

the terrors of motherhood and terrors of being a little girl who's misunderstood.

It's so special.

And the death of print journalism, too.

That scares us all.

And

there's

this mystery of technology and spirit, like spiritualism versus technology versus like horror.

I don't know.

I loved this movie so much.

I think it is such a gorgeous movie.

It just, I became obsessed with it.

And then I wrote a paper about it in college.

I couldn't find it.

I was going to bring it.

And I'm sure it was bad.

But

I loved it.

I bought this movie on DVD.

As soon as it came out, I showed all the girls in my neighborhood and they all loved it too.

Wow.

Because it's not necessarily like that.

No, it is truly haunting.

I wouldn't say that it's horrifying.

I'd say that it's very haunting.

But the second one fucking sucked.

Okay.

So bad.

And,

but I just recently watched, you know, CZ World is this YouTube channel I watch a lot.

Zach, who does that channel, did a whole deep dive on the history of this, including the novels in Japan, like where it all starts.

Yeah, it's a remake of a Japanese movie.

I think it kicked off a little mini craze of like Japanese horror movies getting remade out here.

So the grudge was after.

Yeah, some of them good, some of them not.

Yeah, but so these were books in the first place.

And I guess that it became like a TV movie.

And then it became, I think that there's video games now.

I think there's like animation.

It's very, very big in Japan.

And the lore of it is so different than the West.

Okay.

Like

into it.

So I highly recommend going and watching that video on CZ World because it fucked me up and it's way hornier.

Matt, have you seen this ring or any rings?

I have seen

all two of the ring movies.

There's another one.

Oh, no, I didn't watch it.

And I didn't watch it.

I think that's the only one I've seen is Rings.

And I watched that to talk about it on The Flop House a couple years ago.

Of course.

Was it the one with like Vincent DiNochoxy Jafrio's in it?

And yeah, it was like very forgettable.

Can you just watch a movie for the sake of watching a movie, George?

No.

Yeah, that's right.

No, give it a movie.

No, we can't, man.

This is the stone that is attached to our legs.

This is our life now.

To be honest, what else

can we do?

It's like we don't build anything in America.

We just make content.

This is it.

No, I saw The Ring when it came out in theaters.

It was

and remained the scariest movie I had ever seen up until I saw Hereditary.

Wow, okay.

Yes.

It is the only movie

until Hereditary that scared me so much I slept with the lights on for a week.

Wow, okay.

Yeah.

The flash of the girl face when she's all fucked up.

In the closet.

In the closet

was one of the scariest things I've ever seen.

In my opinion, that is the best jump scare.

Yes.

A lot of people.

Because it was better than a jump scare.

A jump scare can be anyone just going, nah, you know, close the refrigerator.

And there's a pool.

Yeah, it's a bus closing its doors.

Yes,

it's so unexpected because you didn't know what this thing did to people.

Right.

You knew people died, but then it's a fate worse than death.

Right.

But the ending scene, which I'm not going to say what it is right now, people reference that as the scariest scene.

I found that to be just riveting.

I thought it was great.

It was so cool and very cool, but it wasn't as scary.

Nothing lived up to that one scene.

And it was better.

It wasn't up to it.

It just wasn't a jump scare.

Right.

Well, I mean, it was...

better than a jump scare because the makeup for the you know dead girl in the closet was

so good.

It's a dummy.

Well, okay, the makeup they did on the dummy was so good.

Like I was freaked out.

So yeah, I love it.

Well, yeah, Gore Verbinski is the director of this who went on to do Pirates of the Caribbean, which that kind of wet,

like creepy, murky, like atmosphere is perfect.

Perfect.

And the very underrated Nathan Lane comedy, Mouse Hunt.

No way.

He did Mouse Hunt.

He did Mouse Hunt.

I love Hunt.

Me too.

I like Mouse Hunt a lot too.

Oh, shit.

We got to do Mouse Hunt.

We got to do Mouse Hunt.

Also, I read they originally offered this to David Lynch who turned it down.

He turned down the ring.

He did on this, yeah.

So

very David Lynch.

As I was watching it, because also Naomi Watts, someone who David Lynch

kind of discovered.

And when I was watching her performance, I was like, I bet David Lynch loved this movie.

Yeah.

And not enough to make it, though, I guess.

He had other shit to do.

Gorbinsky got famous from doing the Budweiser Frogs commercial so what the guy who did the budget you want to know something crazy i know two of the frogs really who are the frogs um and they had different different actors for each frog three different actors um

one of them is um okay from my church okay this guy adam brooks he was like he was in my youth group his dad was one of the budweiser frogs

and then this guy who i kind of dated on and off in theater in high school, Ryan Duke, his dad, Pat Duke, was one of the people.

So a lot of neighborhood dads were.

A lot of dads.

They were, I know two of the frogs.

The other one can go fuck a throat.

Wait, which ones did you know?

Bud, wise?

I don't know which one they were.

Bud and Ur.

I'm going to.

I've never met Wise.

I'll ask my buddy Ryan which one his dad was.

But yeah, there was, I knew two of them.

So crazy.

There were three different actors?

Yeah.

A lot of legendary voiceover actors, too.

So Bud, Wise, Er.

Yeah.

Truer words were never spoken.

Other than was that.

Waza.

We had commercials back then.

We fucking did.

Well, now it's just Zach Brath singing with Jason Momoa.

Big deal.

The other thing is like a bunch of hot Ozimpic moms.

Yeah.

Crazy money in it.

Oh, sure.

Like I went to Pat Duke's house

in L.A.

when I first moved here for Thanksgiving.

And this house, you wouldn't believe it.

There were, you know, there were commercial actors who got

money.

This is the house that Wise built.

Anyway, so let's talk about what happens in the ring.

It starts with the DreamWorks logo, which kind of glitches out.

Yeah.

I love that.

Did you guys experience while watching the movie some random glitches that flashed the ring?

You know, it's interesting.

I think my internet was kind of slow.

So when I was streaming this, some things kind of froze in a scary way.

So that was kind of fun.

So I was watching this live streaming on TikTok.

Okay.

We had some people joining me, 95 people, but they were very nice.

I was so scared.

I had my friend Chelsea's dog.

I was clutching that dog.

But every once in a while, it was flashing and I'm like, are you guys seeing it?

Because I feel like it's doing a staticky thing.

I'm going to look it up right now because I could have sworn that there was.

So it starts with.

A couple of teens smoke and pot.

And so I, again, I have not, this is my first time watching this movie.

I knew the premise.

I laugh so hard when one of the teens, two minutes into this movie, is like, have you heard about this new videotape that killed you when you watch it?

I'm like, oh, just saying the premise.

It's like if it was the purge, if one of them just said, like, hey, have you heard about that one day a year where you can kill anyone you want?

So I'm like, oh, okay.

So I guess the neighborhood teens have all heard of this thing.

And one has watched it.

Ah, she saw it on a vacation.

She starts choking, but it's a trick.

And they have a pillow fight because that's what you do in a movie when you need to

people having fun How many do you guys just get in pillow fights with your friends?

It happens all the time and you do okay.

No, we just punch each other.

Yeah

I've told you the story about my friend who kicked me in the stomach and I parished everyone.

Yes, it's a free dad's favorite It is yeah, no fucking fainting thing.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, you'll you'll learn this as you do a podcast.

I gotta tell you you'll have five or six stories that you just fucking recycle three times.

I think that you're just a very good listener, Jordan.

I think that like the the ladies out there should learn that Jordan Morris is an amazing.

This man is a good listener.

He listens very well.

I don't remember any story any of you tell.

I don't remember anything I tell.

Anyway, so yes, they're having a pillow fight.

It's how you know they're friends.

And then their phone rings.

If this was like a spoof movie, the other line would go, hello, Sydney.

But

it's the wrong number.

Which the scary movie franchise did a ring, like whole thing.

Oh, I'm sure.

They did.

And I don't give a shit.

They can suck it.

I like that first one.

I haven't seen any of the movies.

They're good, but don't make fun of this movie.

I don't, I dare say.

How dare you make fun of the wrong thing?

Don't appreciate it.

So, and the teen picks it up.

She's like, Harold Residence.

And I'm like, hey, that's when we had fucking phone etiquette, right?

Yeah.

That's when you said last name residence.

Yeah.

I said Morris Residence.

But it wasn't even her house.

I love that she did that.

Oh, yeah, sure.

I did that too, though.

If I was like at someone's house, I did it because it also made it seem like people, if like you were making noise in the house and you said something like that, the neighbors wouldn't bother you as well.

Oh, that's interesting.

Because at least you're being polite.

The thing about phone etiquette is like it has to be universal or else it's weird.

Like I recently said this is he

after someone asked for Matt Leeb and they went, what?

And I went, it's Matt.

I had to explain what this is he meant.

Right.

Yeah.

Sounds like some Renfair shit.

Well, like,

this is he, my lord.

This is he.

Answering on my telephonic device.

But cell phone etiquette is different than house phone etiquette.

That's true.

House phone etiquette when it's your parents' house phone.

Send a picture of your dick to the house phone.

Because it's like you want whoever is calling to tell your parents what a good kid you are.

Of course.

So they go, oh, I talked to your daughter early.

What a nice young lady.

And then it's like, can I go out and get fingered in a car?

Please let me go.

But yeah, when people call me and I don't recognize the number, I usually answer in a funny voice just to make them think that it's not my phone.

I pick up all robocalls.

It's nice to talk to a robot.

I just, what, you know, what if it's Hollywood?

Could be Hollywood.

That's what sucks.

It's never Hollywood.

It's never.

So these nice teens with good phone etiquette.

One of them watched this tape.

We go into one of their rooms.

There's static on the TV.

There's water coming out from underneath the door.

She screams and something comes out and gets her.

What is it?

We'll learn later.

We cut to a little kid in class, a real haunted-ass little kid.

Aiden.

Aiden.

And his mom, Naomi Watts, is coming in for a parent-teacher conference.

She's a single mom.

She is so busy.

So hot.

She's on the phone.

She's busy.

She's trying to have it all.

She's a reporter for a dying medium.

And her kid is drawing creepy fucking pictures in class.

Yes, this is so.

This is the little kid drawing the like, you know, cryptic, cryptic crayon drawings trope.

The kid's drawing all kinds of things.

The girl who died in the house was his cousin, and his teacher is worried about him.

And

Naomi Watts is like, it happened three nights ago, so she just wants the kid to be over it.

It is so weird the way that she's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's fine.

But no, the kid was drawing this stuff before she died.

Yes, that's true.

Which there's

so I think psychic connection.

Like, so the kid is obviously a parallel to Samara.

Sure.

So kind of like,

do they ever explain why?

No.

Okay.

But I think of it as there's a lot of things in this movie that, you know, leave things open to interpretation, but in a fun way where you feel like you can leave it to interpretation.

Like Lynch stuff.

But sure.

Anyway, but like, I, it feels like the shining.

There's a little bit of a shining thing going on.

Yeah, that's true.

That kid also looks like the kid from the shining.

Yeah, there's a little bit.

And so this kid, for some reason, has like a connection to his family member who this is happening to.

So I feel like his cousin experiencing it is what connects him to Samara.

But his drawings make it look like someone who's fucking him, essentially.

Like it looks like a girl hovering over something or something hovering over a girl.

So it's very disturbing for a teacher

to be like, why is this a year on my birthday?

I can get the wife.

Like, why is this girl under the like?

It's very disturbing, but clearly he was feeling a connection, which,

so Samara and this little boy are already like.

Yes.

You know, so, um, and Samara, we will reveal, is the creepy ghost that's causing this all.

The vengeful ghost.

Sure.

Uh, yeah.

So the kids in class.

His mom wants him to be over.

She died three days ago.

They go to her funeral.

And, you know, and apparently her heart just stopped.

The doctors don't know what happened.

And as her mom's explaining it, that's when we get that jump cut to that.

You know, it's not even, it's like two seconds on screen.

Her crazy, gross, melted face.

Very scary.

We'll see one more melted face before the movie is over.

So Naomi Watts, she's got that, she's got that reporter instinct, that shoe leather reporter instinct.

She goes out to smoke with the teens.

One of them is played by Adam Brody.

He is absolutely the oldest teen.

Yes.

Oldest teen.

He looks like he's 16.

He looks like he is the night manager of a vape shop.

He's literally looked the same forever.

He has.

He still looks like the oldest teen.

Yeah.

And he's a guy who's all neck.

Like he

when he moves, it is just whipping a neck around.

Like that's his, I don't know if his body moves in any other spot.

But also, this movie made me want a cigarette so bad.

A lot of good smoking in this movie no cigarette ever looked more delicious than in this movie it made me want to draw so she so Naomi Watts finds a undeveloped role of film and again just the like the the the dead media in this is so much fun to see like roles of film videotapes it's great but it's crazy to think about because it's 2002 right it's only slightly over two decades seems like it seems like an ancient movie yeah um so yeah so she gets this roll of film takes it to fucking walgreens or something to have it developed

And the kids in the in the pictures that get developed all have smeared weird faces So that's something that'll come back.

I really love the smeared weird face thing that they have in this cuz it is you know if you're I think

our age maybe a little bit younger

You you just know that is like a fun filter from like the the Mac photo booth.

Right.

Well, there's that but also when you add disposable cameras like which I still have disposable cameras that I haven't developed, which I need to

fucked.

But like if something in the background looked smudged or something looked distorted, you were like, ghost, there's a ghost.

That's true.

That was the only

way you would know there was a ghost was with the little snap.

Yeah.

And if people, if people's eyes were glowing, you were like, something's going on.

Orbs.

They're like, orbs.

I have some disposable camera photos of people's penises from my past.

I need to to see this because I thought they wouldn't develop them.

Because like you take like, you know, kind of risque photos and then you go, they won't even, I'm going to be in so much trouble when I give this to a Walgreens and they're going to be like, we couldn't even that left.

I had to destroy the film.

I do have some good photos of me and the Lucas brothers.

We were smoking weed in the back of their car.

Oh yeah, the stand-up comics, the Lucas brothers.

Yeah, yeah, fun.

We were, it was in New York and we were in the back of the car and I was like, I'm going to take pictures of us smoking weed.

And they were like, I don't give a fuck.

And then I, and they developed them, and I still have them.

And I'm like, what a nice time.

So

she finds in these photos that the number of the cabin where all these teens were staying.

What was the number?

Oh, 12.

Yeah, I don't know.

Does it have significance?

I don't know.

I've only seen this once.

Everything's significance, personally.

So yes, they're staying in 12,

we'll say.

And she goes to rent the cabin from a real creepy cabin guy who's doing doing card tricks.

I think he's the tallest person in the movie.

Yeah.

Can we talk about this guy?

Tallest guy.

Yeah.

So this guy is a real

woods creepo.

He's telling her to do pick a card, any card.

And at no point do they suspect this guy, which makes, which I was always like, are we going to come back around to where it's the cabin guy who knows when people watch it and is making the call?

He made the copy.

Oh, interesting.

Because I was going to ask that because I still don't know where the tapes came from.

Okay.

So, well, there's a little bit of a thing when you go into the scenes with Samara in the institution,

where she talks about some like film slides and how they came to exist.

But the only way to, and this is, I'm jumping ahead a little bit, but the the ring is essentially a virus and a curse at the same time.

So it's an it follows.

It's a final destination.

And I keep talking about this.

There would be no it follows if we didn't have this.

It would be wild if there's a, there's a, I don't know what companies make all these movies.

If they could do a three-way team-up of the ring, final destination, and it follows, and someone gets all of them on the same night.

Also, smile.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

You can get a smile, too.

Yeah, because smile is very much that because it's when you witness someone dying from the virus, it goes on to you.

So the ring.

The world's most cursed man.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

But I mean, let's just look at the camera Mondays.

And then you have to do the math to like get rid of all of those in one day.

Anyways,

Hollywood, call me.

So the girl, like, you know, from the beginning of the movie, the girl who's the friend of the girl who dies, she's in the institution, but she's obviously touched by the curse

and can see things.

So witnessing someone die does

something.

It gives you something.

So there's like a little bit of psychic connection between everything.

God, I'm so obsessed with this.

This this episode is going to be intolerable.

So I love that.

Anyway, so this guy, when you look at the video collection that he's got, which I love a cabin like thing that has like a take a video kind of like

which I also looked at the videos that were surrounding the tape.

Yeah.

Which the tape is just a blank cassette tape with no sleeves.

It is.

People are just playing it.

Like the fact that

I wrote this into the intro a little bit.

I'm like, yes, the movie has to go somewhere, but who are just playing these random blank tapes?

I don't know.

I guess it was

the mystery book.

The other one's like on Golden Pond is on there, and there's a lot of references to water.

Okay.

A lot of water.

All right.

All right.

But I can't remember all the movies.

If you guys can list them, I forget.

When I was doing the live stream, I was like, look at all these movies and trying to make connections with it.

But yeah it's the most obvious like centered blank tape he put it there on purpose okay he obviously made the copy

he is passing along the virus so that he doesn't die like interesting that guy so he's putting that tape in all the cabins well that's he's just keeping it there and and he puts it in that position not unlike someone who's doing a card trick when they're trying to get you to pick a car is this your tape i love

that Okay.

I like that.

This guy is, if they ever did a prequel, you would, yeah, I don't know.

You probably skip this guy, but it would be like, how did it get to this cabin?

Right.

Yeah.

Which in the original, in Ringu, at least the one that I watched, it starts with the.

The Japanese version.

The Japanese version, which happens in daylight for the most part, which you would think would be scarier, but my dumb American brain is like, it needs to be dark and spooky.

Like, I need it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But there is this kind of, it's like a resort, like a hotel resort thing, and there's a similar thing.

so this is like that version of that so she

she rents the cabin that they were in and she puts in puts in the tape and we see a bunch of uh seemingly unrelated crazy stuff what do we got in there we got a ladder we got fingers we got maggots loose fingers horse eye horse okay lady and mirror

let me let me go through this for you okay um so there's a three-legged goat three-legged goat hobbling there is a ladder that leads to nowhere it's a very tall ladder with nowhere to go.

Leading to nowhere, I think, is important.

There's the chair that is spinning.

Spinning chair.

The box full of fingers that are twitching that are attached to nothing.

But the maggots, this is the one that kind of haunts me a lot.

The maggots turn into people all slithering amongst each other in mud.

Right.

Which I feel like is hell, personally.

But then the one that like really,

I loved it.

Everybody says that it just looks like a nine-inch nails video.

Oh, Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

It's like slipping around in mud with a bunch of other people.

Well, that's hell.

It's Woodstock 94.

There's also the horse eye.

Horse eye.

And then, you know, Samara's mother falling from a cliff, which is a classic.

You know, everybody thinks of that one, her brushing her hair in a mirror.

But there's one that has always disturbed me, and it's a man's throat.

So it's a guy who's opening his mouth, and there's, it looks like a string, a rope

coming out of it.

So I have like thought about these things a lot and people say it is intestines coming out of his throat.

I don't know if I agree with that.

When you look at his throat, it looks like a well.

It looks like the ring.

And you think about the idea of a rope saving you from the bottom of a well.

There's also stuff of a throat and things like that that happen throughout the curse after you watch it.

But

it, do we think that that's Brian Cox in that video?

We have an amazing cameo of Brian Cox.

He's my favorite part of the fucking movie.

But yeah, so that image for me is the most haunting image: the man that's throat is basically a well.

Okay.

So she's watched all these creepy images.

She takes them back to the big city

to get them analyzed by Noah, who is a fuckboy.

A real fuckboy.

Yeah.

Who is.

She has a relationship to him.

We don't know what it is.

They clearly know each other, but how?

He is kind of like a photo editor guy or something.

Yeah, it seems like they barely know each other.

Right.

When you first meet them.

So he, so he, he's like kind of helping her break down the video, and he tries to explain it to her.

And she's like, talk to me like I don't subscribe to Video Geek Magazine.

Oh, my God.

That's my favorite version of in English, Professor.

Talk to me like I don't subscribe to Video Geek geeky.

Also, can we talk about

his loft?

His loft is so cool.

His loft is awesome.

He has a lot of cool.

I noted his stickers.

I think like you freeze framed on the videos.

What do we got?

Bad Religion Descendants.

Oh, cool.

Confused Pennywise.

I think these are all epitaph records bands.

So the set decorator probably.

Wait, where were the stickers?

He has a little locker.

Also, I think a sticker for a side project from the guitarist of Rancid, Lars Fredrikson, and The Bastards.

Pretty good.

Damn.

I never noticed any of that.

Doesn't, I'm sure it has nothing to do with the story.

I'm sure the set decorator just called the record company and said, send stickers.

I love that.

I don't know.

But maybe, yes, what's the connection between Pennywise and their song, Fuck Authority?

Isn't that what Samara is doing?

Fucking Authority.

Yeah.

She's fucking everybody, is what it is.

Thank you.

So

there's a little, maybe a little flirty energy, but

a girl comes over.

Noah says, that's my assistant, but then she kisses him.

They got a thing.

Anyway,

oh, yeah, I forgot to say, I think you know this if you know anything about this movie.

After she watched the tape, there's a phone call.

Someone says seven days.

Yep.

Anyway.

Okay.

So a bunch of stuff.

Oh, can I say one thing?

So she watched it in the cabin when they were there, and she got the phone call and heard it.

When she showed the video to Noah, there was a phone call.

They never answered it.

Right.

It went to voicemail.

Because when you think about it, you go, let it go to voicemail.

Fuck you.

And then she deleted the voicemail.

Right.

But I love the idea of ghosting Samara.

Oh, ghosting a ghost.

Yeah.

Like, oh, just so busy.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I would love for you to kill me, but I'm so busy.

Yeah, can we get back to it?

I've got a lot going on.

I'm busy.

Or better, you just put her on hold.

Yeah.

Just listening to the girl from Meepanemo music.

See, we need to.

I hope all of this happens in the scary movie version of this.

Anyway,

I'm going to kind of speed past this plot-wise and let me know.

Something one to threaten me.

Okay, go.

Samara.

Samara.

Operator.

Talk to ghost girl.

God, they can't hear me.

Can I just talk to a ghost?

So

I like this section of the movie where it's just research.

I like people researching stuff.

I love it too.

It's fun to watch people go to archives.

Well, it's also a lot of horror movies have this whole research thing of trying to get out of a curse.

But this movie has

a journalist and like a video editor.

And it's the best use of these two, you know.

Professions?

Professions or like, yeah, vocations.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's fabulous.

So they're, they're they're doing a lot of research,

looking at a lot of micro fiche.

I'm loving this.

And just creepy stuff's happening.

She's looking on a screen.

There's looks like there's a fly on the film.

She's flying off the film.

Then her nose bleeds.

She has a dream where she barfs up a rope hair and there's a little like diode on the end of it.

That's crazy.

So while all this is happening, she gets up in the middle of the night and finds her kid has watched the tape.

It was calling to him.

Yeah.

It's like, why would this kid just watch this blank tape?

It's a weird fucking kid.

It's a weird kid.

This is one of those weird kids, and we love a weird kid.

But also, there's a lot of stuff about mothers who maybe don't want to be mothers or who are hesitant to be a mother or terrified about motherhood.

He's calling her by her first name the whole time.

He never calls her mom.

No, he doesn't.

But also, Samara,

the ghost that we're dealing with,

we find out the adopted mother is who we keep seeing in the tape, that she was adopted.

So there's a lot of stuff about parentage and children being isolated and unwanted and abandoned and that women going, am I supposed to be a mother?

Maybe I'm not supposed to be a mother.

Crazy.

Again, feminine horror.

This is like,

I love it so much.

So.

A bunch of creepy stuff happens.

She goes over to this island.

There's like a horse on the boat being transferred over to the island.

The horse goes crazy.

This scared me.

I'm scared of horses.

Oh my god.

Well, also,

it looked so good.

Like the, I don't know, the effects, the CGI, everything.

This movie is so stunningly beautiful.

I can't say that enough.

It's kind of like a proto-A24 movie.

Yeah.

Like how

this was like a studio, it was like a paramount.

I'll be honest, A24 ain't got nothing on this movie.

That's right.

I'm sorry.

It's such an ambitious, like, movie.

But the horse thing is that I guess samara grew up on a horse farm with her adopted parents who were horse breeders and she was able to have an effect on their horses where they started killing themselves right so yeah the horses would run out into the into the water or she well yeah let's so she she goes out to the island uh that's this is where the movie gets real stephen kingy yep oh it gets every everybody's got i don't know if it's in maine everybody's got the voice she wants the stephen king old person.

I'm an old person in the Stephen King movie.

All the horses just kill them.

His American accent just sounds like that.

It rips.

Yeah.

For sure.

And yeah, this was a real, like, this was the, I love this actor jump scare.

It's like, ah!

Yeah.

Ah, well.

That's me.

That's me when a beloved character actor turns up for two scenes.

Something I didn't know they were in.

Two excellent scenes.

Two excellent scenes.

So, yeah, he's her dad.

He's very pretty.

He's an adopted dad.

He's carrying around a big hook all the time, being real threatening to Naomi Watts.

Well, he's on a horse farm by himself

because his wife be dead.

Yep.

And as soon as you fix something, it done break again.

Oh, my God, that's such a good Brian Cox.

Well, it's Brian Cox.

Yeah, Brian Cox in this movie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's Pet Cemetery, Brian Cox.

Oh, yeah.

This is everyone in Pet Cemetery.

I'm the old man.

They eat a hamburger.

Oh, yeah.

They're going to eat some french fries and a big match.

Don't bury bury a dead boy up there in the cemetery.

Don't bury your daughter in a well, Aya.

Gonna rain on Monday.

My knees acting up.

Don't throw your daughter in a well there.

Sometimes dead is better.

Sometimes dead is better, but not in the well.

God damn it.

You guys are really good at Brian Cox.

Why?

Thank you.

Because I'm a listener.

I listen.

You are.

You're very good.

Anyway,

so yeah, let's tell the story of Samara.

Okay.

Okay, so it's an Emily.

Let me know if I'm missing anything.

Okay.

So Brian Cox and his wife, who has committed suicide.

Yes.

They wanted a kid and couldn't have one.

Right.

They're on a horse farm.

They go,

we talk to a little town doctor who also talks like Brian Cox, even though it's a woman.

I talk a lot about Brian Cole.

Can I tell you that's my least favorite section of this movie?

Oh, yeah.

The lady in that movie, and then she has this mute child, this boy, who I don't know what purpose he serves, and I don't think she's any good.

Her whole thing just.

Play like that little toy where you have the blocks that scoot around the wires.

Yes, and then I would play with one of those now.

But then he's like on a playground thing, the one that spins around, and he's not even doing it right.

He's kind of like spinning just a little bit, and I'm like, come on, dude.

I think the implication is that when Samara came to town.

So what happened is Brian Cotts and his wife went somewhere, we don't know.

And maybe they explain this in sequels and prequels.

They adopted a child.

We don't know if it was at a convent or something for unwed mothers, or we don't know what the deal is.

So that Samara was a creepy ghost kid and maybe drove some other kids crazy.

They put her up in the barn where she was like tormenting the horses and then making them kill themselves.

Well, I think that she had been before they put her in the barn.

That's what was happening.

Yes.

But we later find out where she was put in the barn, and it explains a lot of the imagery.

But

yeah, so they adopted her.

Things went wrong.

They put her in an institution after a while.

This lady seems to be a child psychologist.

She's only got one patient, so I don't think she's that good.

And the kid doesn't seem like he's doing great.

So that's so we kind of get the story there.

And kind of what happened with Samara is her mom realizing that she she was like ruining her marriage uh

put a bag on samara's head and throws her in a well well and then yeah i think it was more than ruining her marriage i think that she was disturbing everyone mentally right and the horses like they like their whole livelihood was this horse ranch and she's just killing the horses there is like a moment where she's in the mental institution and she goes, they don't care about me.

They only care about the horses.

Right.

Yeah.

And I think the lady says,

you know, this is a small town.

So when one person gets a virus, everyone gets it.

Oh, yeah.

So referencing it as a virus, which in the Japanese versions, they refer to this not as a curse, but a virus.

As well.

Okay.

Yeah.

So

it can be both.

So I think it is safe to say that the whole town was like, we got to fucking throw this kid down a well.

Yeah.

Just Rochambeau for who's going to throw the kid in the well.

But can we talk about how this was supposedly 1978 that Samara was thrown out of the well?

Everyone looked like they were in the Salem witch trials.

Oh, yeah.

I think they know

that it's creepier if they're not in bell bottoms.

They're in weird flowing dresses.

Yeah.

But they're not in shirts that say, where's the beast?

Brian Cox with an afro,

just a shirt that says shit happens.

Ass, gass or grass.

Yeah, I know.

Everyone is.

Yeah,

the island is in its own weird little time zone.

Yeah, okay, fair enough.

Don't blame me.

I voted for McCarthy.

So, so yeah, so we kind of know the mystery now, and we'll see how it all wraps up when we come back.

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We're going to talk about the end of the ring.

So the interpersonal relationship revelation we've gotten is that

Noah, the

photography fuckboy,

is actually Aiden's dad.

Yeah.

I guess he and Naomiomi Watts had the kid when they were young.

He just kind of stayed in the same town, but then did not become involved with the kid at all.

But they never saw him do photo projects together.

Anyway, so we kind of see Aiden and Noah like getting a little close and it's like, oh, does Noah want to rejoin the family?

Anyways, he'll die soon.

So whatever.

So

they go back to the cabin, which is kind of weird that like they go on this big journey.

It's like, it was just in the cabin the whole time.

Well, like the ants, the well and her body.

Yeah.

So they dig underneath the cabin, the well from the ring, it's under there.

Naomi Watts gets like pushed in through a random earthquake.

So just crazy thing.

There's a TV, like

Samara jolts the TV to hit her and push her into it.

And then she dives down, gets a big handful of hair.

There's

a lot of crazy hands grabbing her and hair.

And then Naomi Watts comes up with the little girl's body, which melts into a skeleton.

Which, can we talk about the effects in that scene where it goes from the little, you know, Samara's body into the corpse, but also the nightgown is perfectly preserved?

Gore, Verbensky, okay, everything else is fabulous.

The nightgown, it should be deteriorated.

I like it.

Maybe you just really like that nightgown.

It's like,

we can't sully this nightgown.

It's beautiful.

Gore Verbinski, despite being named Gore Verbinsky, is from like Tennessee.

He's just a regular guy.

He's in Tennessee.

I think so.

I looked because I assume with the name Gore Verbinsky.

My name is Gore Verbinski.

I make ring movies.

I fight bear.

Bloodweiser.

Yes.

And I also make mouse.

I see Gore is a gore is a screen name.

Oh, okay.

But yeah, he's from somewhere that's not

Russian Mountains.

Yeah, I just assumed he wasn't even a person.

That's amazing.

So yeah.

My mother was Jaguar.

So.

My father was donkey.

And then as Noah is cradling Naomi Watts in the blanket they give you when you've gone through an ordeal,

he says, how long do you think she survived down there?

And she's like, seven days.

That's the connection.

Very good.

Is the movie over?

No.

Fucking chance.

So they go back home, and they're

is the kid dead?

Is Aiden dead?

He's laying on the, in the middle of the floor in the position that the family guy characters lay in when they get knocked down.

This kid is laying so crazy.

What the fuck is he doing like that?

It's just a like, they want the audience to think the kid might be dead, but he's just laying in the middle of the floor.

Yeah.

Anyway, but he's fine until his mom says, says, We took her out of the well.

And he's like, Wait, you weren't supposed to do that.

Fucking, thanks for telling me, Aiden.

I know.

Well, she thought that, you know, she was the mother that Samara was looking for.

And by her discovering her corpse, she could lay the soul to rest.

But this is a vengeful ghost.

She's not.

So he went, you helped her.

Why did you do that?

And then his nose starts bleeding.

I love that so much because

cool.

It's really Aiden.

You're the spooky kid.

Let us know this.

Yeah, first of all, if we go out to the creepy main island, before we dig up the fucking cabin, let us know.

Yeah, start with, oh, whatever you do, don't take her out of the well.

Well, he just was like, don't hurt her.

Put the well in a bigger well.

Right, exactly.

Honestly, like, her taking her out of the well has just set her free.

There's like a level of freedom to the vengeful ghost now that wasn't there before.

I super love it because the entire time Naomi Watts is in a different, think she's in a different movie,

which is kind of a brilliant way of doing it where she's just like, you know, this little little girl was abused by her father, and, you know, she was

white lady savior thing going on.

She's got like a white lady savior complex.

Yeah.

And then

white pretty lady.

Her weirdo son is like, no, no, no, that's like you just released a disease into the wilds.

This is not.

No, she's just bad.

She's like, I'd rather help this dead girl than be a mom to my actual living son.

Yeah.

Like,

it is so shitty, mom of the year.

It's the greatest twist in a horrible game.

It's so fucking good.

And then we get our fucking shit.

Yeah.

So, Noah, she goes back to Noah's house.

So, Noah's also watched the tape.

And Noah's kind of like scheduled to die a little bit after Naomi Watts is scheduled to die.

Yes.

But she hasn't died.

So she assumes that everything's fine.

She thinks that's the reason she's not.

Noah,

he's at his, you know, fucking cool ass punk rock loft.

And the TV turns to static.

And Samara comes out of the TV.

She hasn't been out of the TV before.

It's like stay tuned, right?

But not hilarious.

Switch stay tuned on laugh.

It's like cool world.

I'll say stay tuned has been free with ads for so long on YouTube.

We got to do that.

Yeah.

But yeah, a lot of people reference the jump when she comes out, the way that the static kind of jump of her being in one place and then...

fucking like into another place

without walking is something that really scared people.

It is really cool.

So yeah, Samara comes and gets him, and he's got the melty face.

Well, the mouth looks like a well.

Oh, there you go.

The mouth is a well.

What is the well?

What is a well, but the mouth of the face?

But, like, in the

video, the guy with the rope coming out of his mouth, if you look at it, it looks a lot like the faces when you see them.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

But I want to mention one thing about how we were talking about how does the tape, how does her soul make the tape?

Sure.

Right.

So there is a tape that they find when they're being like gumshoes, like looking around for at this institution about videos that psychiatrists or whatever filmed while she was in an institution.

And they have these slides like that look like something from an overhead projector that you had in like school.

You know, the thing that like you put on

the little transparency thing.

So there's images on a transparency thing.

And the doctor who has cigarettes, he's got a little ashtray, by the way.

I'm like, ah, fuck.

I want a cigarette.

Anyway, he goes, how did you create these?

How did these, like, you know, like images?

How did they just, they just were.

And she goes, I think about them and they are.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, but also would they look at where she was kept in the barn?

You see the giant

ladder that leads to nowhere.

It leads to this tiny room in the barn with a television.

Where there's a music box that's still playing.

Just playing.

Like, well, it has to be creepy up here.

Which I also think they could have done without that.

I think they could have just had a shitty bed and the television.

So she, all she had was this television that somehow got cable, I guess, up there.

I mean, at the very least, it played VHSs, I assume.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So there is a connection.

So maybe she

created the tape in her little VCR.

Anyway, I love it that she's just up there making tool music videos.

Right.

Somehow, there's a psychic connection to a television and to the way that a VHS works.

She had one visitor.

It was David Fincher.

A young David Fincher.

Go on.

And the red, white, and blue.

Of course, she had to watch.

She just thought they were funny.

She thought she was going to win 10,000 views.

Yeah, she's like, I made this tape and I thought it was funny and no one thinks it's funny.

You are.

I'm just a little girl getting thrown down a well.

Oh, I'm a whoresaw.

Do you like my eyeball?

Bob Sagett's doing all these voices.

Oh, let me see if I can

fall down the well.

Now Alfonso Ribeiro would be doing all this.

Yes, exactly.

It's just a bunch of kids in black and white getting kicked in the nuts.

That'd be great.

You're going to die in seven days.

Hollywood, call us.

But you're also going to get $100,000 in a trip to Disneyland.

Yeah, so then Naomi Watts kind of realizes what we've mentioned, that it's more of a virus.

And when you show someone the tape, you get the virus off of you.

So the last shot is like her and Aiden copying tapes yep copying tapes and yeah well so yeah he has to so she's taking his finger and making him because she made a copy which there are deleted scenes like if you get the dvd there's i guess there was a scene an alternate ending where they're putting it in a blockbuster oh that's funny that's cool they should have done that which i think like last week's long legs we have a mom kind of making a deal with the devil so that her kid survives yep themes they're everywhere.

Being a mom sucks.

Yeah.

This is what it seems like.

So all these movies are trying to tell us.

Trust me, my wife is a mom.

Well, I mean, being Aiden and being a Noah seem to suck more.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, hey, we're going to rank the ring, but first, oh, we got to do the hunk watch.

Anybody got a, got a, got a strong feeling about the hunk of this movie?

I have a slight one.

Go ahead, Emily.

Okay, it's Brian Cox.

Brian Cox.

Yep, he's great.

I didn't get to say this thing about Brian Cox.

I know you're going to have to edit a lot of this out.

I'm so sorry, you guys.

I'm very obsessed with this movie.

There's so Brian Cox also

commits suicide in this movie.

Oh, yeah, we didn't even talk.

I kind of thought because he has all this video.

Does he have video editing equipment?

I guess.

He wraps himself in all these cords and then jumps in the bath.

And yeah, I was like, was he making the cakes with the savvid in his

toaster would do?

I have a whole

whole thing about that.

Yes.

I think he was trying to break the curse.

So he also puts a horse bit in his mouth.

Yeah, yeah.

So he's got all of these TVs and cords and everything.

And I think that TV is probably from the barn.

I think there's probably stuff that happened with this little girl, and everything was brought back up again when Rachel comes to ask him questions.

And he feels like it's his responsibility to end the curse now that he knows that it has spread to another person.

Oh.

I don't think he realized people were making copies.

It probably the tapes originated in the mental ward is what I'm thinking.

Okay.

And then people, doctors and stuff, realized we got to make copies and blah, blah, blah.

So I think that he also had the tape of her from the mental institution.

He had checked it out.

Yeah.

And my hunk is the guy that checks that out.

I think he's pretty high.

Oh, that's a good hook.

Yeah, that's a good hook.

But yeah, so he

like he has the tape.

He's got all this stuff.

He's got all these cords.

So I think he thinks that by him killing himself in the bathtub with the tape and everything and the horse bit, because the horses were cursed, that he will end the curse.

I love it.

I love that theory because that's...

two then attempts at breaking the curse that don't work.

That's really good.

I think that why would a man put that much effort into something?

Right.

When you simply just, like I said, toaster.

Toaster?

Yeah.

He could have done that.

I think that he was truly trying to

do something or he's a fucking drama queen

you could be both yeah you can be both get you a girl who can do both

he's a messy a messy main guy my hunk is Adam Brody Adam Brody

I mean just because he is I mean a classic hunk and I also love that his character which doesn't show up at any other time you really are expecting more Adam Brody

it just shows up to be like hey old lady you don't know about the tip

hey old lady, who's a year older than me.

For real, she's so beautiful in this movie.

I love the way all the teens treated her.

Like, she's the world's oldest lady.

You're just like, oh, what are you even doing here?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dried up old.

Gorgeous movie star.

Yeah, stunningly gorgeous.

Modern version of old Hollywood glamour that people

utilize in films.

I mean, I think that I gave, when I was being blonde, I think that that was the picture of the hair I wanted.

The best blonde color.

Well, yeah, that's the hunk watch.

Wait, what was yours?

Oh, the guy who checks out the tape.

Wait, who's the guy who checks out the tape?

You mean the guy at the cabin?

No, the guy.

So when Noah is snooping around

trying to get the tape of the interrogation that she did in the mental institution.

Yeah.

There's just this kind of funny guy who kind of gives him a hard time,

just attractive, kind of nails his little one scene.

And I'm like, there we go.

This guy's great.

Okay, I need to watch again because I was too obsessed with other stuff.

He's like the black guy who told him, like, what do you think?

I'm stupid.

I know you're not, you know, Brian Cox's character.

And then he lets him check out the tape anyway.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, there was no tape.

His stipulation was, you better not take it.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, okay.

Yeah, kind of akin to like the guy who runs the mental institution in Long Legs.

Right.

Just kind of a funny one-scene

character who really needs it.

All right.

We're going to rank The Ring on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials when we come back.

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We're going to rank the ring on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials.

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Okay,

let's rank the ring on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials.

Maybe I'll go first since I'm the noob, and I'll let you guys close it out.

I'm going to give it a seven.

I really liked it.

I thought it was a very fun Halloween romp, very effective.

Yeah, it didn't like get under my skin.

Yeah, and that might be just as a result of like a lot of movies have imitated it, and you see this kind of thing a lot.

So, you know, it didn't like, you know, it didn't keep me up at night, but I really did enjoy it.

A lot of fun performances, very creepy atmosphere.

And I think a fun movie to show, like...

I think if you're not a horror sicko, you can watch this movie because like it's not about gore.

It's not about being super shocking.

It's about mostly like atmosphere.

There's a couple cheap jump scares, but it's mostly about like cool mysteries and people.

I can't believe you said cheap.

I'm not saying it's bad, but I'm just saying they're kind of like, bah, you know.

Yeah.

And I think some people don't like that.

And I think if you're like, I don't want to watch horror movies because there's a bunch of weird jump scares.

Yeah, but there's not a lot of them.

There's a couple.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think that's to its credit.

I'm giving it credit for not doing a ton of that.

Yeah.

All right.

So, yeah, I'm going to give it a seven.

Matt, what about you?

I'm going to give this a nine.

This is an incredible movie.

I loved it.

It's very scary.

Upon rewatch, I am happy to say

I will be able to sleep with the lights off, although I will be holding my wife extra close.

Beautiful.

And if the ghost comes, I will throw my wife at the ghost and say, take her first.

Please, I deserve to live more.

That's true.

Ah.

I have podcasts to produce.

I have so many stings to make.

We have stings.

Emily, where are you going on this?

I think you know it's a tippy ten for me.

It's the movie that made me fall in love with horror.

Okay.

I love this movie so much.

Every time I watch it, there's new things I discover and new, like,

I don't know, angles and things that I think about.

And I love looking at deleted scenes.

I love looking at other people's takes on this.

It never gets old to me.

I love it.

And I wish the second movie was better.

All right.

That's our review of the ring.

Time for some personal plug-in.

Emily, gotten anything?

No.

Okay.

Hey,

check her out on Cameo, right?

Yeah, sure.

Check me out.

But don't ask me to do stuff that stresses me out.

Just do happy birthday.

Fucking congratulations.

Happy anniversary.

Don't stump or lick anything.

Yeah, please.

Matt, got anything?

I have,

I will be at the Ice House on November 1st.

So come out to that and follow me at Matt Leebjokes on Instagram to see more dates.

Okay.

And hey, when's this thing we're making coming out?

Next week?

Oh boy.

Well,

if it is next week,

October 22nd, you can go to your local comic book store and get a copy of Predator, Black, White, and Blood, number four, a Predator comics anthology with a story by me.

If you're in the LA area, you're going to want to come to Things from Another World on October 25th.

I will be signing the book with the great writer Cody Ziggler four to six.

Come see us there.

And yeah, on November 8th, I will be at the Burbank Book Festival and at the Revenge of Comics and Pinball comic creator block party.

So two chances to see me on the 8th if you live in Southern California.

And yeah, check out that Predator comic.

It came out real good.

And

I don't know.

Let's just say there's more Predator comics maybe coming out from Marvel Comics.

I don't know who might write them.

Someone.

So just keep an eye on the world of Predator comics from Marvel.

They may or may not be coming out with people who may or may not be writing them.

Okay.

That's all.

That feels very

subliminal.

It was not at all.

Something I said.

It was a normal thing to say.

It made sense.

Okay.

Tune in next week when our movie will be Ernest, Scared, Stupid.

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