A Horse’s Dose of Ozempic and A Helen Keller Kerfuffle

55m

Mazel Morons! Today we’re finally addressing the rumors… Did Ben really conflate Helen Keller and Anne Frank? Is he back on Ozempic? Is Dave Grohl a POS? Is a fixer-upper an acceptable wedding gift? We’re bringing you the TRUTH on a silver platter, folks. Where else can you find honesty like this? Plus, we answer YOUR questions about managing mother-in-laws, paying on the first date, and more. We tell it like it is and if you can’t handle it, what are you, nuts?! Love ya, enjoy! 


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Runtime: 55m

Transcript

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Speaker 5 The following podcast is a dear media production.

Speaker 2 Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject too small for the good guys.

Speaker 2 a mother's dream premium podcast team make it your weekly routine it's a good guys

Speaker 2 and if you don't give us five stars what are you nuts what are you nuts there we're the good guys we're not the great guys we're just a good

Speaker 2 guys

Speaker 2 whoa

Speaker 2 No, people like the intro. Maybe we ask them.
Because now we have the song. What are we? An intro at all so?

Speaker 5 We have an intro song. i realize i don't care what the people think same

Speaker 2 i think are the worst i was thinking of the worst the people the people aren't the core listeners josh the people are fringe listeners that's we call them fringe

Speaker 5 god bless the moron community god bless the core listeners but i was thinking about feedback and i think when you're doing what we do which is we're you know we're the apple of podcasts so of course yes i take a page out of steve jobs book could you be drinking from a bigger water bottle right now?

Speaker 2 What's happening? Oh my God.

Speaker 5 Did you become a gym, bro?

Speaker 2 In 2025?

Speaker 5 Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Everyone, he's drinking from a water bottle that's the size of his torso.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 5 I'm just trying to trying to stay hydrated.

Speaker 2 Just trying to stay hydrated. Oh, boy.

Speaker 2 Sorry for distracting. And if you're not watching on YouTube, you don't see I have a water bottle the size of my head.

Speaker 5 Listen, I'm drinking coffee from 7-Eleven. Shout out.
Love it. And there's protein powder in here.

Speaker 2 And I'm, I'm off the,

Speaker 5 you don't even want to know what my new process is in 2025 because it's wild.

Speaker 2 You need to just shift your mindset, okay? Yes. Enjoy everything.

Speaker 2 Enjoy everything you're doing.

Speaker 5 Oh, I know.

Speaker 2 That's it. You start doing something, you think you don't like it.
Tell yourself you like it. All of a sudden, you're going to love it.
Trick yourself, folks.

Speaker 2 That's really insightful. I'm not going to lie.
Trick yourself into loving everything. Look, it's the key to happiness, Josh.
Love what you have.

Speaker 5 I don't even know what the key to happiness other than Wilbutrin.

Speaker 5 I just want to thank the proprietors and the makers of Wilbutrin because over here on 150 milligrams XR tablet once a day in the morning, such a game changer, man. Good stuff.

Speaker 5 You think you're happy now?

Speaker 5 You should micro-dose antidepressants.

Speaker 2 I can't even imagine how happy I'd be. Can you imagine? Because

Speaker 2 I'm sitting here telling you that I'm incredibly happy. I'm incredibly thankful for my life.
I have great gratitude and I am very, very, very happy. Very.

Speaker 2 And by the way, I just want to say, I'm not afraid to say that. I think we've almost become a society.
that is afraid to say that their life is good.

Speaker 2 I think that we thrive off of telling everybody how bad our life is and how much pain we're going through. I go on TikTok, everybody's crying.
Non-stop, they're crying.

Speaker 2 All these influencers are crying. What are you crying about? What are you crying about? How much money you're making? What are you crying about? Everybody's crying.

Speaker 2 Can't somebody just say, hey, my life is amazing?

Speaker 5 So you tell me if I'm wrong here. I love that about you.
And I think it's an admirable and I would hope that for my children. So I don't know how to do it.

Speaker 2 It took me a very long time to feel this way, by the way. Just so you know, I didn't always feel incredibly happy and grateful.

Speaker 2 Took me, it honestly might have taken me 32 years, but I very recently, every day am happy and grateful.

Speaker 5 Do you think at all that it's maybe a byproduct of being

Speaker 5 slight, growing up a little bit sheltered?

Speaker 2 I don't think so, only because...

Speaker 2 I do in my core

Speaker 2 think that you think I grew up more sheltered than I did.

Speaker 2 There's a level of sheltering. You can't be that sheltered growing up in New York City and going to public school until age nine.
Like you just can't be, like, you can't be that sheltered.

Speaker 2 I agree with, like, I had, I have unbelievable parents, sheltered for sure.

Speaker 2 But living in Manhattan, you're automatically less sheltered than, I think, even somebody that isn't sheltered at all in the middle of the country. Is that fair to say?

Speaker 5 Well, I think if we're defining sheltered in the same way, I think you are one of the most cultured, savvy, you know, entrepreneurial. Like you are a hundred times 10x in spades.

Speaker 5 And I think part of that's who you are. I think part of it's what you inherited from your parents.
I think part of it's how hard you work as a person.

Speaker 5 And I think part of it's growing up in a major city. But

Speaker 5 I don't attribute that to sheltered. I guess I wouldn't define that as sheltered.
I just think, yeah, if you grow up in a, in the country or you probably, you're just exposed to less. Sure.

Speaker 2 I think though, I want you to continue your thought though, on the sheltered piece as it relates to happiness and excitement and a positive outlook.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think it's, I think it's more possible when you've been exposed to less pain and heartache during your formative years.

Speaker 2 Perhaps. Perhaps.
I will say, though, that it was a conscious decision. And whether or not this is possible for everyone, I don't know.

Speaker 2 It was a conscious decision to ignore the things that were bothering me and come to terms with the fact that those demons in my head, which I had like crazy, weren't real and that I was torturing myself.

Speaker 2 Am I fortunate enough that the things that I'm facing are things that I can mentally turn off? Yes.

Speaker 2 I'm privileged in that respect for sure, because the things that I was being faced with weren't life or death they were being created in my own brain but it took me a very long time to be able to say hey brain shut the up i don't want to hear that anymore because that that's not real and that involved people in my life that involved work that involved everything like just being able to tell my brain no no no no more i don't want to hear that it's not true whatever you're telling yourself is not true and ever since then i've been much happier i think it's great listen it's the goal for my children so i don't know how to give you a a higher compliment that the way you are is what I want for my children.

Speaker 5 That I in no way

Speaker 5 think that my like trauma or, you know, first of all, that's also a big, you tell me what you think about this.

Speaker 5 And Josh G, our great producer, who we love and is here and covers for Olivia when she's out. You tell me this.
I'm done talking about weight loss as it applies to me, my weight loss.

Speaker 5 in 2025 and for the rest of my life unless we make jokes about it and it's fun between us like i'm done with that. I'm done with the child star thing to an extent.

Speaker 5 Like, I just don't need, like, I love what Robbie said. I thought it was so direct and perfect when we started the podcast with the great Robbie Hoffman.

Speaker 5 And I said, you know, you grew up in a very religious Orthodox household, which is a really big part of her story because she has since become this sort of, you know, wonderfully secular, outspoken, sort of the anti-version of ultra-Orthodox, you could say.

Speaker 5 And I started there and she goes, let me stop you right there. She's like, I've talked about this a lot.

Speaker 5 So if you have a specific question, and obviously she said it much cuter and funnier than I'm saying it now, but she's like, if you have a specific question, I'm happy to answer it.

Speaker 5 But like, I don't, I don't want to do this because like, it's well recorded.

Speaker 2 And I was like, yeah. That's called setting boundaries.

Speaker 2 And yes, I absolutely think that you should if you haven't already. And the hardest part, which I think goes back to what I just said, is you can't set boundaries for other people.

Speaker 2 You can't tell somebody what they can and can't say to you because they're not going to listen to you. Right.
Right. So you need to mentally say, when I receive that, it's no longer bothering me.

Speaker 2 You know, because people are going to come up to you on the street for the rest of your life and tell you how proud they are that you lost so much weight. Sure.
Until you die and you no longer.

Speaker 2 can feel any way about it. You say thanks and it didn't even enter your brain.
It went in one ear and out the other

Speaker 2 you know that's what I was saying if that's helpful honestly I have to toot my own horn maybe I should become some some type of a psychiatrist I think that was some good advice me and my big water jug yeah look I don't know what's in that water jug but it's uh you know it's clearly insightful isn't it it's making the synapses fire it's it's insightful maybe it's the double dose of turmeric i took two turmerics josh so in a few weeks i'll tell you about how i accidentally overdosed on turmeric.

Speaker 2 One negative part about turmeric, one, the, the positive, obviously, is it gets rid of inflammation. Okay.
If you're not taking turmeric every day, you should.

Speaker 2 You're sinus inflammation, bone inflammation, everything. I just love it.
Are you inflamed?

Speaker 5 You take your, am I inflamed? Have you met me?

Speaker 2 The negative is it gives you nasty heartburn. That's all.
If you take too much, it gives you a nasty heartburn.

Speaker 5 It's so good. I just love that you're like on a, it's like, because I also know you're on a horse's dose of Osempic.

Speaker 5 And I just love that there's like some more holistic, some more hardcore super pharma. You're like, I take a little bit of oregano oil and just a cap full of fentanyl every morning, and I am perfect.

Speaker 2 Today, I am on a full horse's dose of Ozempic. I am on

Speaker 2 the day, mate. No, no, my shoot-up day actually is, is today.
What day is today? Thursday. Wednesday? Thursday.
Today's Thursday. My shoot-up day is tomorrow.

Speaker 2 So, no, by the way, I actually feel great for day six. I really am taking a horse's dose for the first time.
I'm flying. Is it still shit you're getting smuggled?

Speaker 2 Yes. Yes.
I'm still getting it smuggled. But I actually, I have a new dealer.
It's not brand name Ozempic. It's Semaglutide courtesy of Dr.
Sharon Geezy. And Dr.

Speaker 2 Sharon Geezy, you might know from Real Housewives season one, she's been shooting up the ladies forever. She's fantastic.
Puts in a little vitamin B, all the good stuff.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so it's not smuggled.

Speaker 2 It's not Canadian

Speaker 2 well she well she probably smuggles it from somewhere I don't know where she do you all know how this works how the GLP1 works it's just a peptide yeah but I feel like if you get it from a person they're kind of brewing it somewhere no

Speaker 5 witch it's a witch's brew it's a it's from a compound pharmacy

Speaker 2 now I can't now I can't drink this water anymore how much more

Speaker 2 you gonna do over here what are you going for an award no look the I'm telling you it's the combination of the azempic, or sorry, semaglutide, the turmeric, the overdose on turmeric, the elderberry, the echinasia,

Speaker 2 the zinc, the lack of fluoride, the lion's mane, lion's mane. I started it today.
I don't know how long it takes to kick in. I took two today.

Speaker 2 This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by Caraway. 2025 is all about eating clean, eating good, and eating non-toxic.

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Speaker 6 I'm a young booker and this is it's not that deep. I'm here to ask the question, is it really that deep? This giant spinning ball we call Earth.

Speaker 6 8 billion of us, 8 billion different realities and perspectives, all living so beautifully intertwined yet we can feel so isolated and unique in our experiences.

Speaker 6 Spoiler, we all have a lot more in common than we realize. I'm going to be getting into the nitty-gritty of what makes us human.

Speaker 6 How through shared experiences we can help each other and above all create a safe space for healthy discussions and growth.

Speaker 6 Let me tell you, I'm really not an expert and I've messed up a fair few times but I'm learning as I go just like you. So let's go on a journey down the rabbit hole.

Speaker 6 But I need you to remember one thing. It's really not that deep.
Listen to it's not that deep wherever you get your podcasts out every Monday

Speaker 5 Should we get to a story?

Speaker 2 Yes, and then I want to hear from some morons. I want some speak pipes.
I miss them. I need them in my blood.

Speaker 5 Let's do it. So

Speaker 5 surprisingly enough, Dave Grohl, marriage still on the rocks. Foo Fighters rocker Dave Grohl and his wife Jordan are still figuring out their future in the aftermath of his shocking baby announcement.

Speaker 5 Grohl55 revealed in September that he was the father of a baby girl outside of his 21-year marriage to Bloom. And a source tells people things between them are still rocky.

Speaker 2 You think?

Speaker 2 They would be rock. Yeah.
Yeah. They would be rocky forever.

Speaker 5 It's January. It was September.

Speaker 2 No, no, you're also, he's done. That's it.
Like, that's such.

Speaker 2 How old is the daughter? I don't know. You say 20? Baby.
Oh, oh, oh, oh. No, no, no.

Speaker 5 I think, yeah, a baby girl.

Speaker 2 Oh, so now this is recent cheating. Right.
Okay, even worse. So he just cheated on her.
Had a baby. It's going to take at least five years.
At least. At least.

Speaker 5 Although I seen, you tell me, I don't know if you've been privy to any great fun cheating scandals, but

Speaker 5 I've seen a really a wide dearth of cheating in my days.

Speaker 5 Friends of my wife and I, we've had couples in our lives that have gone through cheating scandals. I'm going to be honest.
And you know who you are.

Speaker 2 I haven't seen one it could be sheltered no

Speaker 2 no i

Speaker 2 i don't know why maybe they'll come like maybe that's more of like a mid 30s thing where people start to cheat don't say it like that mid 30s because i'm almost 40.

Speaker 2 i mean i'm i'm early 30s i'm just saying maybe it's a mid 30s thing the cheating were the people that you know cheating five years ago Mm-hmm. Okay, so maybe it's an LA thing.
I knew people.

Speaker 2 Is that possible?

Speaker 2 You guys are all vain and sad and cheat.

Speaker 5 Definitely, but I do think people cheat all over the world. But this was even people who I knew were cheating that weren't even married yet, but

Speaker 5 were going to get married and basically had been together forever. And of course, let's never forget Scandivol.

Speaker 5 But what's fascinating is, and I told my wife this when it was going down with certain people we know, I was like, I will be surprised if they break up.

Speaker 5 And she was like, I would leave you so fucking fast. And I'm like, yeah, oh, I know.
I was like, but I don't see it for them.

Speaker 5 Because I think, and because these were both couples who had had at least five to 10 years already together, that the idea of abandoning this thing that they had invested so much time into was like an even bigger failure.

Speaker 5 That

Speaker 5 the only thing that could be worse than the cheating would to be if the if the relationship fell apart after.

Speaker 2 And they're both, you know, the examples i'm giving these people are still together it's a case by case each their own i think that if it was personally like obviously god forbid but if claudia were to cheat on me right if she were to cheat on me one time it was an accident really upset about like she's really upset about it one time i don't i i think that i would stay do you get her back i think so of course oh no

Speaker 2 yada yada yada yada yada yada i mean I mean, I guess.

Speaker 5 Of course, you go into your DMs and you find that barista Starbucks that's been giving you side-eye since you started going in five years ago.

Speaker 5 And you thought it was because you don't spend your points, but it was really because she's into Ruben-esque 33-year-old Jews.

Speaker 2 Maybe this is what happened to Dave Grohl. Maybe this was revenge, and we don't know the first part of the story.

Speaker 2 Who knows, Josh? I mean,

Speaker 5 revenge doesn't

Speaker 5 hopefully doesn't end in a kid

Speaker 2 no it's really dumb really dumb also at you said he's 55

Speaker 2 yes

Speaker 2 i feel like he should be older by the way but like 55 you're that sexually active are you not thinking vasectomy i don't know i think you should be probably right like

Speaker 2 That would make sense. Otherwise,

Speaker 2 who knows? But yeah, don't cheat. Or if you do cheat,

Speaker 2 I don't know. Hopefully your spouse doesn't care.

Speaker 5 I don't know. It's like, you know, we had the great Jojo Siwa on, and she said that within her relationship with her partner, that she would be okay with them having like some physical interludes.

Speaker 5 And then as long as it wasn't emotional, which some people are okay with.

Speaker 2 I love JoJo Siwa. I loved her on that episode.
I'm nuts for her.

Speaker 5 I'm nuts for her. She was amazing.

Speaker 2 All that I will say, though, is she's young.

Speaker 5 Fair enough.

Speaker 2 And I'd love to, I hope it never happens to her, but I'd love to see how she feels after that happened to her. Right.

Speaker 2 Because even me, I'm here saying, oh, if my wife cheated on me one time, who cares? That's so easy for me to say, having had that never happened to me.

Speaker 2 You know, like if it happens, I'm sure you're destroyed.

Speaker 2 Destroyed. It's everything.
And then you take it personally. You're like, what the hell is wrong with me? What's wrong with my Johnson? Huh?

Speaker 2 what what like i don't make you enough bagels like i don't make you enough beautiful breakfasts like i would be thinking to myself like what did i do wrong god it's everything surrounding it because correct if if your partner is like i found uh you know a lady of the night and i had this one thing i needed to do it or the lady of the midday i don't know how you get off i love i love that expression lady of the night so good i had to get an obvious i'm a sex addict you almost look at them you almost look at that like oh my god like that person's really sick like wow like that person has an addiction for that kind of behavior josh there's no if you're a sex addict you really really really just it's gonna be hard to be married like it's hard unless the other person sex sex addict should find a sex addict that way they're just

Speaker 2 non-stop, you know?

Speaker 5 No, I agree.

Speaker 5 I think, but what I'm saying is not that that's excusable but that's almost better the problem with an affair is everything that surrounds the canodling like because you start doing the forensics and you go oh they met and then they exchanged texts and then they might have talked on the phone and then they flirted and then they had a first kiss and then they booked a hotel room and did they use our like Marriott bonvoy points and like totally did she bring like you know toiletries did they have to call down for like a toothbrush you know she at my my house.

Speaker 5 Did they order room service?

Speaker 2 What'd they order? Tomato soup and grilled cheese.

Speaker 5 It's their meal.

Speaker 2 It's their thing. That was our meal.

Speaker 2 That was our thing.

Speaker 5 Every time he sees an Andy Warhol, he goes, babe, that us, you know, the Campbell soup can.

Speaker 2 But it was us. Yes.

Speaker 2 See, that's the problem.

Speaker 5 Did they get kick pops from Starbucks? You know, that's our thing.

Speaker 2 Who knows? How do they get him so noise? Oh my gosh.

Speaker 5 Okay, well, there's another story, which is, ooh, bride makes gut-wrenching decision. Fiancé gives her surprise gift that left her blindsided.

Speaker 5 A bride to be is questioning if she overreacted by calling off her wedding after receiving a surprise gift from her fiancé, a fixer-upper home for them to live in.

Speaker 5 A bride-to-be can't help but wonder if she overreacted by calling off her wedding after her fiancé surprised her with a gift. that brought their future into question.

Speaker 5 The woman, 30, made a post on Reddit's Am I the Asshole forum on Tuesday to explain why she made the gut-wrenching decision.

Speaker 5 Okay, she and her fiancé Mark have been together for three years and engaged for about a year. She explains that he pulled out what looked like a box from a special jewelry store.

Speaker 5 My heart raced with an excitement as I assumed it was a lovely bracelet or a special memento for our wedding day. But when he opened the box, I was stunned to find out that he had gotten us a home.

Speaker 5 And in the box was a key to a home that Mark supposedly bought for us

Speaker 2 called off the wedding i have a couple of thoughts the first is i can't trust her because she has read it and uses it i'm sorry this is the cesspool of america folks yes i digress i digress i think it is incredibly strange for a husband to buy a wife a home without the wife seeing it like that's very strange to me i get it potentially being nice i feel like she probably overreacted but it would make me feel kind of weird if my, especially if it's not a gorgeous new...

Speaker 2 I don't know. A little weird, no? Like, what if Paige just bought a rundown check and said, this is where we're going to live now and didn't consult you?

Speaker 5 It's weird for sure. I think the only reason you call off a wedding day on the day is because you find out the person's cheating.

Speaker 2 Like, that is

Speaker 5 an injurious action to your life. And, like, you're now giving everyone in your life a story of like, hey, remember when that I think in the net, she fucked up more.

Speaker 5 Cause you could always sell the house.

Speaker 2 I agree. In the net, she fucked up more.
But I do think that it says a lot about a husband to think that he would want his wife. Like to think that that would be a good gift.

Speaker 2 Like me, at least speaking from experience, if I bought even a beautiful house for me and Claudia to live in that she didn't see would make her feel as if her opinion did not matter to me whatsoever.

Speaker 2 Even if it was a gorgeous house, let alone a 50-year project where maybe the bathrooms didn't work and now we're going to live here while you fix it. Like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I think it's incredibly inconsiderate. I could not agree with you more, though.
It's your wedding day. Just like.

Speaker 2 Sell the house. Tell him he's a scumbag and sell the house.
Right.

Speaker 5 Not good. Fix it.

Speaker 2 No, not good.

Speaker 5 Not. Not good.

Speaker 7 Not good.

Speaker 2 This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by Roebody.

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Speaker 2 I love all of their products. I love using their bread to make a turkey sandwich.
I love their tortillas to make fajitas on fajita night, or maybe a smash burger taco. And they have croissants.

Speaker 2 They have things like low-neck carb croissants, things like low-neck carb Hawaiian rolls. They're innovating.
They have bagels. They are fantastic.
Such a product range. It's amazing.

Speaker 2 And they have a new four-gram neck carb bagel. Who's heard of a four-gram neck carb bagel before Hero Bread? Nobody.
They made it, and it's absolutely fantastic. And again, you'd never know.

Speaker 2 that these are low neck carb and high fiber breads from the texture. There's no compromises, just flavor.
And all of your favorite recipes are covered with their entire line of products.

Speaker 2 Absolutely amazing. And again, this four-gram net carb bagel.
I mean, if you're not trying it, what are you? Nuts. Hero Bird is offering 10% off your order today.

Speaker 2 Go to hero.co and use code goodguys at checkout. That's goodguys at hero.co.

Speaker 5 Should we get to a speakpipe?

Speaker 2 I would love to.

Speaker 2 Did we come up with a name for speakpipe?

Speaker 2 What'd you say?

Speaker 5 Did we come up with a name for speakpipe?

Speaker 2 Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes, moron mail.

Speaker 5 Moron mail.

Speaker 2 I prefer good high, but whatever.

Speaker 2 But yes, let's listen to some moron mail. And folks, in 2025, we need it to be good.
Here comes it.

Speaker 2 We told you this. So just quickly, Jess, we told you in the past, make it up.
You can make something up. Embellish your life.
No problem. Just make it good.

Speaker 5 We love you. If you want to leave us a voicemail where we can give you advice, you can ask us questions.

Speaker 2 Make it good.

Speaker 5 Keep it brief. Brevity is key.
And go to speakpipe.com slash good guys. This first one is from I'm Not Sure.

Speaker 7 Hey guys, this is Jen from Jersey. I work at a gym, and the holidays just passed.
A member there gave me a Christmas card. When I opened it, there was nothing inside.

Speaker 7 So she gives me this card every year. Typically, there's a little money gift inside.
And this year, there was nothing in there, and I didn't say anything. But I'm just wondering what your take is.

Speaker 7 Would you say something? I felt less motivated to even text her to say thank thank you. Felt weird about the whole situation.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what's your take? It's incredibly important to know what gym franchise she works at, Josh. Would you agree?

Speaker 5 Yeah, like if it's a planet fitness, maybe the woman ran out of money.

Speaker 2 She only has 10 bucks a month for the gym. Okay.
She's looking at purple all day. She's looking at an elliptical in purple.
She did her best the last couple of years, threw you an extra five.

Speaker 2 The woman went belly up. Now, if you work at Equinox, this is a little bit strange for sure.
That said, you absolutely, positively cannot say to the person, hey, you forgot my tip in the card.

Speaker 2 No, sorry. Is what it is.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, you can't, but I think she was even like, should she even say thank you for the card?

Speaker 2 Oh, I missed that part.

Speaker 5 I don't think so.

Speaker 2 I don't think you need to.

Speaker 2 If you say thank you so much for the card, That actually is a very good, underhanded way of implying that there was no money in there. Hey, thank you so much for the meaningful card.

Speaker 5 Wow, you're playing 3D chess, Ben, and I fucking love it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, thank you so much for the meaningful card.

Speaker 2 The card meant a lot to me. Yeah, thank you so much.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much for the meaningful card. I loved it so much.
I loved what you wrote. Thank you.

Speaker 5 Thank you for the bifold piece of cardboard, and that's it.

Speaker 2 Yes. Thank you for the envelope.
Thank you for handing it to me. Right.
Thank you. Thank you for the money.

Speaker 2 And then she can say, no, thank you for the cash. And then you can say, what cash? Right.
And then she's going to think that you're stealing from her because she remembers putting cash in there.

Speaker 2 You're claiming that she never gave you cash. And now all of a sudden you find yourself in a lawsuit.

Speaker 5 I agree. And I just want to see something.
You know, Planet Fitness has been winning for so long that they could use a little drama.

Speaker 2 They could. They could.
You saw it, by the way, I'm sorry, Planet Fitness, you ruined New Year's Rock and Eve. Did you see they were a sponsor? All the confetti was purple.
I don't want to see that.

Speaker 2 Get out of here. Get out of here.
I don't need it. And I know they're not going to sponsor the show.
They don't have any money. I don't know how that gym runs.
$10 a month. It's genius.
It's crazy.

Speaker 2 It could be. Or like, are they...
I want to know the finances of Planet Fitness, Josh.

Speaker 5 I listen to a podcast because you know that's how i yeah babe just like i know about fluoride and you refuse to listen to the podcast i send you i listened you listen to the fluoride pod i read no you read

Speaker 5 no you didn't you just looked you just looked for con you went for confirmation bias this is true continue planet fitness okay so you learn that they're a good business Planet Fitness is very brilliant in the sense of they found a price point and it's this thing that occurs with many consumers where it's low enough to where the idea of having to go through the hurdles of canceling said membership, it's easier just to leave it.

Speaker 5 So that's why it's $10.

Speaker 5 There are tens of thousands of people that are on a flywheel Planet Fitness $10 a month charge that will never ever go and it's just too much of a headache to cancel.

Speaker 2 Genius. Okay, so let's say 75% of their active monthly subscribers do not go.
So effectively, it's really a $40 a month gym to cover the costs for the people that actually do go.

Speaker 5 That's right.

Speaker 2 Using very interesting.

Speaker 2 That is very interesting, Josh.

Speaker 5 Not only that, but now they really have to give no service. Even though all I've seen from Planet Fitnesses is that they're pretty spectacularly purple, but they seem to be a fine-run gym.

Speaker 2 They're very purple, Josh. They're very purple.
It's absurd. It's too much.

Speaker 5 It's sickening.

Speaker 2 It's too much. It's too much.

Speaker 5 It's too much. But now they don't have to offer you a towel.
They don't even, like, they don't even have to clean the locker rooms. They're like, you want it? It's you pay.
It's 10 bucks.

Speaker 5 We're the $10 gym. What do you want? No.
Lift your weights and get out.

Speaker 2 It's too much. It's too cheap.
Like, it's too little. Not too much.
It's too cheap. I know.
Planet can't. Planet can't.

Speaker 5 All right. Next one is from I don't know.

Speaker 7 Hi, boys. So over Christmas, debate who pays for the first date.
The men s everyone said that the man should pay for the first date.

Speaker 7 And honestly, all the dates until you're dating when you're dating is a little bit different. But the men said they liked when the men offered.

Speaker 7 The women said, who they're obviously married to, that they never offered and they wouldn't. They obviously profusely dating them whatever they did pay for it, but they did not

Speaker 7 offer or want to offer because they wanted like more of a gentleman traditional kind of of thing.

Speaker 7 So curious, do you think a woman should offer to pay on the first or any of the dates when you're not official?

Speaker 2 This is a different question than what you originally posed, Missy. What you originally had said was, should, who should pay for the meal? Absolutely, the man should pay for the meal.

Speaker 2 Sorry, just is what it is. It's rude, though, in my opinion, not to offer if it's the first time you're ever meeting.
It's the first time you're meeting, you're set up on a blind date.

Speaker 2 I think you got to offer, Josh. I think you got to offer.
And then it's the guy's job to say, no, Missy, I got this. Don't worry.

Speaker 2 But I think that on a first, first date, true first date, the lady should offer to split the bill. Offer.

Speaker 5 Offer to split and the man should pay. And offer to, yeah, exactly.
It's nice if the woman offers. Dude should pay for the first date.

Speaker 5 I think it would be awesome around the third to fifth date if she pays. I think it should be like an 85-15.

Speaker 2 I think it's, I think it's a lovely gesture i do yeah like one in every one in every five when you're dating if she pays i think that's cool i think it's a lovely gesture i absolutely do but she's got it she's got to be cool about it because otherwise she'll hurt his feelings she's got to be cool about it not like like oh the bill comes she fights for it no not cool some guys will take like will take that the wrong way i think she slips the credit card in at the beginning She's paying the whole way.

Speaker 2 That's cool. The bill comes at the end.
She's got it covered. Super cool.

Speaker 5 my wife who's fucking super cool i'll never forget we were dating we had been dating for like we'd known each other since halloween but i was working a lot so we didn't really start dating till like march of the following year and around july she was like my best friend and her husband they're going to palm springs for like two nights we were still you know we were still young we're like 26 and 21 so we weren't like constantly going on like you know to go on a vacation even to go away for two nights in like palm springs was very grown up like we weren't doing that regularly and she was like i got us a hotel let's go with them and she paid for the hotel and it was so i was like oh my gosh like this is so grown up and wonderful it's a cool move it's definitely a cool move and it also does show the guy how much the girl really does care about him Totally.

Speaker 2 Small gestures like that go a really long way. Really long way.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you plan like any kind of planning makes someone go, oh, you think about me when you don't have to.

Speaker 2 Totally. Agreed.
Agreed. Agreed.

Speaker 5 Oh, I'm getting butterflies all over again. Love you, Paige.
Okay, next one's from, I don't know.

Speaker 2 Hey, guys, this is Jen from Jersey.

Speaker 5 Oh, Jen, stop it.

Speaker 2 We just talked to you, Jen.

Speaker 2 Next one from a tofer from Jen.

Speaker 5 I thought I deleted these last two, but maybe not. Okay.

Speaker 7 Hey, good guys. moron from Missouri here.
I have a mother-in-law, woodya nuts. So my mother-in-law is one of those people who just talks out of her butthole all of the time.

Speaker 7 You know, like complimenting everyone out the wazoo. You could be the ugliest bitch in the world.
And she will go on and on and on about how you are so beautiful.

Speaker 7 Well, she does this with my daughter, which is fine because my daughter is very cute. She's a baby.
But lately, she's been calling her weird pet names too.

Speaker 7 Like, she'll walk in and go, Where's my mistress?

Speaker 2 What mistress?

Speaker 7 Or she'll say, How's that goddess doing? God, she's six months old.

Speaker 7 Just call her baby girl, sweet pea. What are you, nuts?

Speaker 5 Where's my adulterer?

Speaker 2 Honestly, the mother-in-law sounds like a good time. Yeah, she sounds unhinged.
Yeah, she sounds great and nuts. And I'm in.
I don't know. Hey, goddess.
She sounds like a queen.

Speaker 5 Mistress is off the rails, though.

Speaker 2 No, it's psychotic.

Speaker 2 No, it's completely nuts. It's an absolute what are you nuts, but like you just own it.
You got a kook over there. Own it.
And just like be kooky with her. Like, yes.

Speaker 2 Because she's not, she's not going to change. You're stuck with her.

Speaker 2 Like, she's a kook. All right.
So she called your baby girl a mistress

Speaker 5 say to her say to her what are you nuts people are children will bring out the weirdest parts of you like i max when he was born i think like

Speaker 5 i don't know three months in i started calling him stunk and it just was a word that i created because when i saw that little smushy fit i was like oh you little shtunk and now he's stunky and like everyone calls him stunky in the family jackie calls her kids like hilarious names too like i and we do that with our dog.

Speaker 2 Like, I know we're going to do that with our son, the HBHB H.

Speaker 2 Like, she calls her youngest Charlie, she calls him Stonky, and like, that's because I think her other son, Harry, like, says stinky, and she's like, Stinky, stony, and they just call him Stonky, and like, it's not like it doesn't mean anything, like, it just or means something to her, but yeah, obviously, the weirdness is brought out in parents for sure, but like, that like comes from like a cute place, like, yeah, the hello, mistress,

Speaker 5 mistress is weird

Speaker 2 that one's so weird that it becomes hello you little lolita

Speaker 7 it becomes hysterical it's so strange next one's from i don't know hey good guys happy new year i just have to ask ben ben during the robbie hoffman episode did you confuse Anne Frank and Helen Keller for a second?

Speaker 7 Because you said she certainly doesn't need to be living so lavishly if she's blind and deaf.

Speaker 7 And Josh, like you just let it slide so i was wondering if ben's neurology referral came through yet and if that's what happened or am i crazy

Speaker 2 you're not crazy i got a lot of dms about this i did definitely mush them together i mushed them sorry

Speaker 2 it is what it is

Speaker 2 you know what it really is what it is isn't it it is what it is it is i mushed them What do you want from me?

Speaker 2 You know how many things we talk about on a daily basis? How many people? You're lucky that we can even do this. This is such a skill.
You bitches could never. Like, you have no idea.

Speaker 2 Okay. You have no idea.
So, yeah. And Frank Helen Keller, they're kind of, they're close.
They're close. They're not close, but they're close.
You get it. You get it.
They're close.

Speaker 5 No, they're not.

Speaker 5 Just said they were around in the early 1900s.

Speaker 2 They're close. They're close.
You get it.

Speaker 2 You get it. I don't know next

Speaker 5 next good eye from someone

Speaker 2 guys

Speaker 7 I would love your advice on just my boyfriend's listening skills oh this one I can't listen to this I'm on his side

Speaker 2 sorry

Speaker 7 listening skills okay hey Josh and Ben long time moron here what are you nuts I just left UPS and I had everything packaged. The label was paid for.
I got charged $2

Speaker 7 for them to tape it. Please tell me.
That is insane. Love you guys.

Speaker 2 This is not the best speak pipe, but I recently,

Speaker 5 I just went to UPS to send my brother a pair of Garrett Light sunglasses. Shout out, Garrett Light.
Nicest. You want a pair? You want a pair, Ben?

Speaker 2 Sure. I get them for you.
I'll take them.

Speaker 5 Shout out, Garrett. Thanks, Bub.

Speaker 5 And I happen to be, you know, I brought them with me because I was thinking I'll just go, you know, what I didn't pack them because I'm like, oh, I'll just get a box at the UPS store. So I show up.

Speaker 5 I mean, this is glasses. They're in just a little box.
So they go, no problem.

Speaker 2 We got the box.

Speaker 5 They charge me for the box. And they go, it's fragile.
So we'll give some bubble wrap. They go, we charge you for the bubble wrap.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 5 We charge you for the shipping. Okay.
And then there was a $3 handling fee. And I was like, you're messing up.
You're like, you had me. You almost had me, UPS.

Speaker 2 It's too much.

Speaker 2 it's rough it's too much let me say let me say two things though josh first to start ups fedx these are just awfully greedy companies it's awful it's awful and i know this because shipping alcohol josh our number one issue at Spritz Society is the cost of shipping product in the mail because it's heavy.

Speaker 2 It's so expensive. Everybody's like, why do you charge $25 online and it's $12 in store? Because we pay $25 fucking dollars for a box.
Fair enough. It's so expensive.
So expensive. That said,

Speaker 2 that said, not every UPS store, I could be wrong, but I think not every UPS store would have charged that woman to tape her box.

Speaker 2 I think that there is, there are UPS franchises and there are UPS owned locations. And I think that the franchise location, how else are they going to make money? How else do they make money?

Speaker 2 Like you handed them the box, you prepaid for the label on ups.com. So UPS got the money, but the mom and pop shop that's now shipping out the box for you, they have to make money somewhere.

Speaker 2 I think think it's strange. I was saying it's not strange.

Speaker 5 I wasn't mom and pop. I was at a UPS store.

Speaker 2 Your example is fucked up. I'm saying her example.
Okay. Yours.

Speaker 2 They nickel and dimed you at the wazoo. Right.
It was terrible. And if they were smart, they would have given you one all-in fee.
They would have baked the handling fee into something else.

Speaker 2 Make bubble wrap an extra 50 cents, make this an extra 50 cents.

Speaker 5 And I was thinking about this before as I was leaving. Or bake it all into the shipping cost.

Speaker 2 All of it.

Speaker 5 I've had people go, I could do this all. See those padded envelopes over there?

Speaker 2 it's a it's a it's already in a case and it's small just go to that's three bucks go get that envelope put it in and seal it i got the rest the truth is josh you got taken to the cleaners i'm a little bit did you end up paying for it of course i did you know me i'm not i'm not tight you i throw money around

Speaker 2 you got you got take you got taken to the cleaners i'm not tight what happened no this is not a cheap thing josh you were taken to the cleaners and this happens to me the second i enter an ale salon and my wife always

Speaker 2 always comments on it. She'll go in for a manicure.
And what does she leave with, Josh? A regular $25 manicure. I got convinced that I needed the spa manicure.
You do?

Speaker 2 Or they're going to put this extra lotion on my foot. And then all of a sudden, my pedicure went from 48 to 72, and hers is still 48.
We are easily taken to the cleaners, Josh, because we're too nice.

Speaker 2 We're good guys. We're not too nice.
We're not going to confront you.

Speaker 5 Were you decalused? Did they decallus those mitts of yours, those paws?

Speaker 2 Honestly, no, my guess, they're not callous. This is a man that's never worked in the yard a day in his life.

Speaker 5 No, I know. Listen, you don't wear black Air Force ones, you wear white Air Force ones.
We know you're not out there actually doing real work, okay?

Speaker 2 I'm not doing real work. And by the way, my brother-in-law,

Speaker 2 I need to comment. Josh, my brother-in-law convinced me.

Speaker 5 My guy, see, I got my ear to the fucking streets, Ben.

Speaker 2 And you need to show me that respect.

Speaker 5 I'm not just some guy appropriating Native American culture in the clothes he wears.

Speaker 2 I need you to know, Josh, my brother-in-law convinced me to buy Black Air Force ones because he said they looked good on me. I wore them once and I threw them away.
You're not only

Speaker 2 fucking ill.

Speaker 2 I can't wear them.

Speaker 5 But you can wear them in the club and you could also do custodial work in them.

Speaker 2 I can't wear them, Josh. I can't wear them.
They were awful. They were awful.
What was I saying before you talked about how you have your ear to the streets?

Speaker 2 I don't remember. GPS, do better.

Speaker 5 Lots speakpipe before we go from not sure.

Speaker 2 We need to clip that. I got my ear to say that.

Speaker 5 Oh, wait. This is a love letter to Olivia, which we'll play for Olivia when Olivia's here.
Lots of speak pipe from I really don't know.

Speaker 7 Hi, guys. I need your opinion on this because I'm fuming right now.

Speaker 7 I'm very, very pregnant with my second kid, and my sister-in-law recently had a baby, and my mother-in-law thought it was a fantastic idea to show up unannounced to my sister-in-law's delivery room.

Speaker 7 When I heard this, I told her, please do not do this with me. Very, very bluntly.
I told her, please do not come or I will kick you out.

Speaker 7 And then I pointed out to her that she will be watching my daughter who's going to be at home. She agreed, no problem.
Amazing.

Speaker 7 One week later, today, she calls my husband and says she will do whatever she can to be in the delivery room to, quote, support her son during the birthing process. Excuse me? What the fuck?

Speaker 7 One, he doesn't want you there. Two, it's our second kid.
And three, he's not giving birth. So stay the fuck out of my delivery room.

Speaker 7 How on earth do I tell her very nicely and bluntly that we love you, we love the mother-in-laws, but you don't belong in our delivery room. So stay the fuck out.
Thank you guys. Let me know.
Love you.

Speaker 2 You don't tell her anything. That is your husband's job to manage his mother.
That's right. It is your husband's job to manage his mother.

Speaker 2 If you feel that way, your husband goes to his mother and says, mom, it's, there's no hard feelings here. She doesn't feel comfortable with her exposed vagina out in front of you.
So love you so much.

Speaker 2 So grateful for you. We'll see you outside.
That's it. That's it.
It's the husband's job to manage his mother. Sorry.

Speaker 5 Could not agree more. And this mother-in-law is a liability.
And just as a public service announcement to all mothers and to mother-in-laws and mothers, it is that woman's moment.

Speaker 5 She is entitled to have as many people there or no people there, whether she wants to do it completely alone or with half of the, you know, Cedar Sinai Medical Tower watching.

Speaker 5 It is completely her call. And your answer should be whatever you want.

Speaker 2 And you should mean it. Yeah.
Like real, like mean it. Don't be, don't be a bitch.
Mean it. Don't say, oh, fine.
And then you're disgruntled.

Speaker 2 And then all of a sudden, for whatever reason, she has to also think about your feelings. That's right.
Clean it. Clean it.
You want to be helpful?

Speaker 5 You want to be helpful? You say to them, what's the hospital? Oh, we're doing it at NYU downtown.

Speaker 5 So I'll go to Magnolia Bakery while you're delivering. I'll have a beautiful cupcake assortment.
Maybe I go to Baked by Melissa. I have them shipped in.

Speaker 5 You tell me when I can come by. Not only am I going to have cupcakes for you, I'm going to have it for the whole nursing staff.

Speaker 5 You're going to be getting free swaddles, free diapers, and free formula till you can't breathe.

Speaker 2 How about that, mom?

Speaker 5 Be helpful, mom.

Speaker 2 Idiot.

Speaker 2 Amen.

Speaker 2 Do better, okay?

Speaker 2 What are you nuts? What are you nuts? Okay, folks. People, places, and things, gripes with humanity that make you say, what are you nuts? Minus Starbucks.

Speaker 2 Okay, I've come on recently and I've said that Starbucks is great, mobile ordering, yada, yada, yada. I have two problems with Starbucks.
First, one in every seven orders, I almost lose my lid.

Speaker 2 And losing a lid is a lost day. Okay.
Fix your fucking lids. Yeah.
Second, second, there are some, it's not every Starbucks.

Speaker 2 It seems to be every Starbucks in the great state of Florida, but it's not every Starbucks. Every Starbucks in the great state of Florida, they make you ask for a straw.
Josh, do they do this in LA?

Speaker 2 They make you ask for a straw and they have it in a drawer behind the counter. Enough rationing straws.
It's enough. If you're going to give them to me, give them to me.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Do you know what the experience of mobile ordering, ready to pick up my drink? It's there. It's ready.
And then I need to ask somebody for a straw defeats the whole purpose.

Speaker 2 I want zero human interaction. I'm there to pick up my drink.
That was the mobile order. It's an iced coffee.
It needs to be drank with a straw. I don't want to talk to anybody.
Nobody.

Speaker 2 What are you, nuts?

Speaker 5 Such a good point. And I was recently thinking about this as I was getting my big, big gulp of coffee from 7-Eleven.
You know who was never on that no straw shit? 7-Eleven.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they fucking killed it. All right.

Speaker 2 They know the heartbeat of America, Josh. They do.
They get it. They don't stand for any of this bullshit.
Any of this crap.

Speaker 2 Any of this Adrian Grenier bullshit.

Speaker 5 Do you think

Speaker 5 higher-ups at 7-Eleven once looked at each other and said, so a couple turtles?

Speaker 2 I hope so. Such propaganda nonsense.
I need to give you one stat, Josh, because it's also propaganda nonsense. How many people a year get bitten by a shark?

Speaker 5 I would say a dozen.

Speaker 2 One in 3.7 million people. Those are your chances of being bitten by a shark.
Okay? Propaganda, Jaws. I wonder what Jaws did to the fucking shark community.
Poor sharks.

Speaker 2 They're bad rappers. They're probably down there under the sea playing chess.
They're nice.

Speaker 5 Shout out the great Steven Spielberg, brilliant Jewish filmmaker.

Speaker 2 Shout Shout out, Josh. I digress.
I digress. What's your whatia nuts?

Speaker 5 Oh, my what are you nuts? So the other day, it was raining in LA and my kids are on winter break. And so, you know, I had both of them and I'm like, what do we do? It's raining.

Speaker 5 We can't go to the park. I didn't want to like take them to a, you know, a indoor playground thing.
So I was like, let's go to Walmart, you know, just go walk around.

Speaker 5 So I get them. I throw them in the cart at Walmart.
Love Walmart. Love it, love it, love it, love it, love it.
We get a bunch of snacks.

Speaker 5 We get a bunch of like, just that good shit that they only have at Walmart, like those snacks you grew up on and whatnot. And we're having fun.
My son's loving it.

Speaker 5 And so we get to the self-checkout, and this lovely person's kind of helping monitor the self-checkout. But then I notice that the employees are going by the ice cream cooler next to self-checkout.

Speaker 5 And I see that the employees, or at least two of them, have made the ice cream cooler also the staff refrigerator

Speaker 5 so to the left of the king cones and the ice cream sandwiches is jeremy's seven up

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 5 and you know loretta's ham sandwich and they're like

Speaker 5 i was like what are you nuts like nuts this is Isn't there a break room? But, you know, then they would probably have to walk back. They wanted to have a nice cold sandwich ready to go.

Speaker 2 It's nuts. Sorry.
It's nuts. Nuts.
You're at work. Nuts.

Speaker 5 Hey, since we have no intro anymore, I wrote down a couple that I was going to work on for the new year. And should we say them before we go?

Speaker 2 Yes. Okay.

Speaker 5 Muzzle Morris, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with Luigi Mangioni's alibi, Ben Silver.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, now maybe we got to bring him back. Continue.

Speaker 2 Muzzle Morris, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast.

Speaker 5 I'm sitting here with the guy who during the crucifixion said he's over there.

Speaker 5 and then yeah

Speaker 2 they were just random ones i'm sitting here look yeah go go no no no we're done we're done with these that's it i'm done no but i look look comment on youtube if you miss them we'll find a way to bring him in i just don't think we need the double intro i like them i just don't think we need the double intro i agree it's over

Speaker 2 and if you don't think we need the double intro folks that's our show give us five stars. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Listen to us on Apple Spotify, wherever you get your podcast.

Speaker 2 Watch us on YouTube. Josh's YouTube.
Watch our full-length episodes, not just our shorts. We know your attention span is dog shit.
But watch them both, okay?

Speaker 2 Share them with a friend Mondays and Thursdays. See you next time.

Speaker 3 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 3 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.