LA, We love ya.

50m

Hiya Morons- we hope you all are doing well and staying safe out there! Today, we’re kicking things off by talking about the recent LA fires, what it’s been like living through it, and the aftermath- let’s just say Ben has some questions for Karen Bass. From there, we switch to our *other* favorite coast and share our thoughts on the NYC congestion tax, subway fires, and public stabbings- lots of great news this week on both coasts! In lighter news, Josh shares his experience seeing David Dobrik’s new body, and we uncover the true power of pressure-washer-rug-cleaning-tok. Plus, we answer YOUR messages about freezing your eggs and more!

From the bottom of our hearts, we love ya and hope you and yours are staying safe and sound right now. What, are ya nuts?


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Runtime: 50m

Transcript

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Speaker 4 Benjamin, how the hell are you?

Speaker 1 Better than you. Holy smokes.
Literally, smokes.

Speaker 4 Literally, it's a play on words.

Speaker 1 Everybody should know that the fires are raging and Josh and Olivia both made it to the studio because we have our priorities right. No days off.

Speaker 4 We have our priorities right because I was so beaten up as a child, as a child actor, and not allowed to have a childhood or have a bad day where the entertainment business basically told me, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Speaker 4 No sick day for you, little boy. I'd be like, I'm 13 and have strep throat.
They're like, we'll get you a vitamin injection. Action.

Speaker 1 I was literally talking to Claudia. I was like, we should cancel.
Like, it's cool. Like, we're not like so behind at all.
Like, honestly, we're ahead. We're great.
Like, we could have, but we didn't.

Speaker 1 And that's just like, because the morons mean everything to us. This is topical.
We got to say what's on our mind.

Speaker 1 And before we say everything that's on our mind, I would like to start on a more serious note, which is like, people of Los Angeles, I am so sorry. Not that I can do anything.
I'm sorry, though.

Speaker 1 It's awful. What I'm seeing is awful, terrible, terrible.
Like, I joke all the time. New York, LA, New York, LA, LA is an amazing place that has experienced such unbelievable devastation.

Speaker 1 And I'm so sorry. I would tell you to move here, but like, we're literally lighting people on fire on the subways for fun.
So I wouldn't move here either. We figure out somewhere else to move.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I heart. I love L.A.

Speaker 4 It's my city. We love it.
It will survive. We will stand tall again, but it's a total tragedy what's going on.
Unbelievable devastation. Do what you can.

Speaker 4 I know everyone is hurting and going through their own challenge, but any little extra, if you can donate to some of the charities that have been listed, I'll list a bunch on my Instagram. I work with

Speaker 4 a charity called Feed the Streets LA. Currently, they're making 600 breakfast burritos to bring to the first responders and firefighters and whatnot.

Speaker 4 And my only question is: if you're a firefighter and you you don't like chorizo,

Speaker 4 you're going to seem like you're, you're unappreciative. I've had that before.

Speaker 1 And like, honestly, like, I kind of get it, but like, firefighters are totally different from homeless people, but you'll see that all the time. Like, you'll hand a homeless person a tuna sandwich.

Speaker 1 I don't eat tuna.

Speaker 1 Are you hungry?

Speaker 1 Are you hungry or not? Whatever. Continue.

Speaker 4 Not hungry enough, but yeah, no, it's awful. And, you know, Olivia and I are able to show up today because thankfully our homes weren't affected.

Speaker 4 But this is one of those those rare things when there's like, there have been disasters in the past, these events, and it's usually like a friend of a friend was affected.

Speaker 4 I think everyone in LA is directly connected to someone who probably lost their home. Like this is how close it's come to all of us.
So.

Speaker 1 Can you just walk me through? Like I've seen these videos. You literally just drove, I would assume, through a lot of it.
Like what is it? What does it feel like? What does it look like?

Speaker 1 Like it's, it's just gone, right? It's It's gone.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, Olivia, feel free to weigh in, but it's a town is gone, right? The Pacific Palisades are gone. Altadena are gone.

Speaker 4 So in New York, I was trying to think of the equivalent to it, but yeah, it's like the Lower East Side being gone, like a major part of the city.

Speaker 1 I literally saw, I saw a comparison that showed that the amount of acreage burned was equivalent to all of Manhattan. Right.
All of Manhattan.

Speaker 1 So again, you say the impact is losing the Lower East Side. The actual impact, I think, is losing the whole island.
It's crazy. It is.
And they didn't have any fucking water in the hydrants.

Speaker 1 What are you, Mashugana?

Speaker 4 So, and we can talk about this because I don't, I have read a lot of debunking that that's not true at all.

Speaker 1 So did I. I read.
I promise you, I didn't take anything as face value. I went deeper because I saw a lot of crazy shit, a lot of crazy shit.

Speaker 1 But what I did hear, which is true, is that these reservoirs for environmental reasons were drained.

Speaker 1 I read that you had reservoirs and there was something going on where if we didn't drain these reservoirs, it was impacting some wildlife, some fish.

Speaker 1 And there were some.

Speaker 4 What are we talking about? Pike, cod? Are we talking about sea bass?

Speaker 1 I think we're talking about all of the delicious fish that we would like to eat. I don't know the specifics of the exact type of fish.

Speaker 4 Are we talking about spicy tunas? Are we talking about some crispy salmon bites

Speaker 4 eventually eventually they turn into

Speaker 1 fits

Speaker 1 no they're gone

Speaker 1 they're burned actually no they're fine um but apparently they drained these reservoirs to take care of the fish and then there was nothing to stop the spread of it was just so unbelievably dry and i had heard that a lot of the fire hydrants not all of them that's a blanket statement, but a lot of the fire hydrants due to various altitude levels were unable to get water, was what I read.

Speaker 4 So this is what I read.

Speaker 4 But again, I don't know the answer, but someone wrote, After millions of views spreading lies about the Palisades firefighters lacking water because of regulation, the boring truth of late is, one, reservoirs and water tanks were at normal levels and completely full before the fire.

Speaker 4 All 114 city water supply tanks were fully stocked pre-fire. A 15-hour surge at four times normal demand reduced water pressure.

Speaker 4 High demand at lower elevation slowed refilling tanks at higher elevations. This unprecedented fire was fueled by eight months of no rain and 85 mile per hour winds.

Speaker 4 Water is being brought in continuously.

Speaker 4 But I'll say this, and I don't, that's also could be unsubstantiated, right? Because we're all trying to get the best facts from what we think is factual.

Speaker 1 All I know, Josh, is the same way that I feel about New York, you pay taxes that would make most listeners of this podcast fucking choke.

Speaker 4 Sure.

Speaker 1 Fucking choke. And we don't have a surplus of water.
Just figure it out. You're living.
I get it. I totally get it.
You're living.

Speaker 4 Your entire state is on the ocean.

Speaker 1 I get it. I know it's beautiful.
Figure it. Figure it out.

Speaker 4 Just figure it out.

Speaker 4 You've been to Big Sir.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 figure it out. Like, I don't, I get it.
If that's true, if what I'm saying is true, it doesn't matter. We're probably.

Speaker 4 Figure it out.

Speaker 1 You have so much money. You have so much money.
You have so much money. I even read an unit was originally, it wasn't unsubstantiated.
It was a fact that apparently.

Speaker 1 Karen Bass, who will go into the new de Blasio, apparently she cut the firefighters thing, the budget by 17 million. And it was, they didn't.

Speaker 4 She cut the firefighters and then gave way more to the cops.

Speaker 1 But what I also did, what I read separately, what I read separately, though, was the budget is 830 million, which is why it's important to show them both.

Speaker 1 It's not like when I first read that, oh, she cut it by 17 million, I thought the whole budget was like 30 million. I was like, oh, this motherfucker.
But then you find out that it was 830 million.

Speaker 1 They still had 813 million to prepare for this over the last eight months. So whether it's her, whether it's, I'm not blaming the firefighters.
I would never do that.

Speaker 1 They're literally the bravest, best heroes, whoever plans for them. Something here is amiss.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 If you know to your point that it's eight months, if that guy, whoever's girl guy, whoever's tweet that was, knew eight months so fucking dry, you have so much money to figure it out. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Figure it out.

Speaker 1 And what you're left with is it's, it was one of my what are you nuts is because you have these influencers.

Speaker 1 My second home is gone like people's fucking first homes are gone idiots like you're fine my my second home my my friends your friends are fine they're rich okay like this is real life like those plans i'm sure you saw state farm and cut me off because i'm rambling but state farm removed whatever it was like 100 plans or 80 plans or something did you see this no for fire protection there was like something going on in insurance where because it was so dry they invalidated a ton of plans and i promise you those plans weren't on 50 million dollar homes those are on people who lost their houses and can't rebuild what what were you saying olivia a statistic that i saw was in some of the areas affected in the palisades fire i believe it was 70 of state farm like insurance holders in that area had their insurance canceled in July of 2024.

Speaker 2 So yeah,

Speaker 2 I was actually, I moved out of my area a few nights ago just to try to, you know, be as safe as possible, but was staying with a friend in Venice who works in insurance.

Speaker 2 And he said it had to do with the housing market at the time and how expensive it was to insure. But yeah, about 70% of that area that was covered by state farm canceled.

Speaker 4 Well, let's just say that the saving grace in all this is that Olivia didn't ask to stay with me.

Speaker 1 You know, listen, I got two kids.

Speaker 4 I got enough going on, Olivia.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I would have had a guest room for you, Olivia, and Ethan.

Speaker 4 Let me me tell you. Whatever you need, dear.

Speaker 1 Thank you, buddy. And we're throwing around the State Farm name.
I just want to let everybody know we love State Farm.

Speaker 4 We love it. First of all, shout out and triple shout-out to State Farm.

Speaker 1 You cancel all you need to cancel, babe.

Speaker 1 They canceled all those policies so they could pay us.

Speaker 1 X, X, X, X.

Speaker 1 Hit the red button, Marv. No.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's good.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's good.

Speaker 4 This is the one that gets clipped. And this is the one that sinks us, Ben.

Speaker 1 We can't be too bad.

Speaker 4 Those two fat souls cackling over

Speaker 4 these people's souls.

Speaker 1 You know where she was, Josh? What? You know where she was during all of this? Did you read?

Speaker 4 Are you gonna go on one of your tirades?

Speaker 1 She was

Speaker 1 inauguration of the president of Ghana.

Speaker 4 Are you nuts? Why are you gonna be like that?

Speaker 1 Have you not been to Ghana in January? It's gorgeous. What business does she have in Ghana? What business does the mayor of LA have in Ghana?

Speaker 4 Listen, Karen Bass is a woman of the world. She's spreading good Angelino cheer to every wonderful, you know, country.

Speaker 1 I am literally revoking de Blasio and Karen Bass's citizenship. I don't know where I'm sending them, but they're gone.
It's enough.

Speaker 4 Oh, Karen Kay.

Speaker 4 It's not.

Speaker 4 Look, the truth is, and this is sort of what, and to your point, I agree. Two years ago, we had unheard of amounts of rain, so much so that we had incredible growth.

Speaker 4 And it was so green in these areas that are usually sort of like dead, barren areas.

Speaker 4 But then, of course, over the last 18 months, those beautiful, lush areas that were overly nourished with all this beautiful rain died, creating brush, creating that when a perfect storm force majeure, act of God, when you have 90 mile per hour winds and the potential for a fire and then you have all of this fuel in this dry brush it was a terrible recipe and yes it seems as though there should have been people more forward thinking doing controlled burns clearing the brush figuring out proactive ways to sort of protect against this for sure and just and just and you hit the nail on the head and just putting people's lives i am mr environment ben okay seriously Seriously, I am.

Speaker 1 I don't like this idiocy. Like, I don't like the plastic straws just because I don't think they make a big enough impact.
I think the plastic is a huge problem.

Speaker 1 But if anybody wants to save an animal, I'm Animal Ben. I just want everybody to know I'm Animal Ben.
That said, the people of LA needed to be put ahead of the environment with an imminent threat.

Speaker 1 If there was a true imminent threat, as you said, that because of all of this flourished greenery that then turned to brush, they knew that there was a possibility because I had heard about this.

Speaker 1 This was a big, it was a big political debate that if you were to do anything about the brush, I believe it was a bit, it was, it was iffy in the, in the climate world.

Speaker 1 It wasn't, it wasn't something that you should do for the climate, but now you have,

Speaker 1 it just, there has to be a hierarchy. There have like in some certain situations.

Speaker 4 It's a no bueno. And I, oh, and let me tell you, did I have the best luck last night?

Speaker 1 Best luck, best luck.

Speaker 4 We had a family. We love, wonderful family, a writer who I worked with in Vancouver, and his daughter and my son are the same age.
So we really bonded there.

Speaker 4 And they happen to live near the Hollywood Hills. And so last night there was a Hollywood Hills fire that sort of sparked up.

Speaker 4 And slowly but surely, south of the of the hills, starting at Sunset Boulevard and then eventually Santa Monica Boulevard, there would have been evacuations.

Speaker 4 And luckily, they were able to get the fire under control. But until that point, my friend called me.
He said, listen, I know this is crazy, but you live south of all the fires.

Speaker 4 If we get evacuated, can we potentially stay at your house tonight? I said, say less, my friend. Call this.
Listen, this is command center. You know what I said? My home?

Speaker 4 You know how much liquid death I have in the pantry? I got water for days. Well, I'll wrap you up in

Speaker 4 aluminum foil. It'll be like an emergency blanket.
You know what I mean? You're going to sleep on the floor in the living room, but it'll be, you know, you'll have a roof.

Speaker 1 You're going to sleep outside in the flames. Sure, you can come.
Yes.

Speaker 4 And don't think you're going to need to puff off my albuterol because we're in the apocalypse. I need to save.

Speaker 4 So anyway, he's like, wouldn't it be cool if my family and I came and stayed over the night? I was like, yeah, of course, dude.

Speaker 1 This is crazy.

Speaker 4 And so we're talking for another hour or two. And he's like, thank you so much.
And my wife, thanks you. And blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, please, this is, come on, Saint Saint Josh.

Speaker 4 And then he goes, It looks like it's going to be okay.

Speaker 4 I don't think we're going to have to go. They seem to have it under control.
And I was like, Can you imagine the goodwill that I've amassed with this guy for doing nothing? Zip.

Speaker 1 The best kind of favor. Nothing better.

Speaker 1 Nothing. Truly, nothing better.
But offering a role of the devil and not being taken up on it. You won.
Good for you.

Speaker 1 That is fantastic.

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Speaker 1 So how's it going in New York with no devastating fires new york is still weird like there was a crazy i don't know if you saw this guy like went on a stabbing spree on the subway last week yes he he pulled the emergency brake and just started stabbing people so i don't know and and another person there was a woman sleeping litter on fire on the train right and then the congestion tax finally kicked in.

Speaker 4 So let's talk, let's talk congestion tax because because me as a New Yorker,

Speaker 4 as someone who I grew up in New York, it is so absurdly congested. And now I'm seeing these photos as a result of the congestion tax, and it's looking nice and moving.

Speaker 4 It looks like the boulevards are open. So you tell me, explain to the audience,

Speaker 4 this is a Ben ace in the hole.

Speaker 1 So before I get to what, or I'll start with what you just said. Yeah.
It's unfair to compare traffic patterns when the city is frozen. It is 18 degrees outside.
Nobody wants to leave their house.

Speaker 1 I think that when we, and we will only really see when weather gets warmer, is this congestion, is the footage that you're seeing a result of cold weather or is this congestion tax really working?

Speaker 1 Regardless, the congestion tax doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me.
And what is it then?

Speaker 1 Okay, 61st Street across Manhattan, okay, right in the middle of Manhattan, from all the way east to all the way west. They installed $500 million worth of cameras.
I think it was 15 years ago.

Speaker 1 And they decided, oh, we did this. We need to use it because we spent all this money.
Let's put in a congestion tax. The congestion tax started last week.

Speaker 1 And what they're doing is they are scanning your EasyPass. And by the way, you need a credit card to have an Easy Pass.

Speaker 1 And if you don't have an Easy Pass, they just scan your license and send you a bill and it's more money. Okay.

Speaker 1 So hurting the less wealthy even more, but they're scanning your easy pass and they're hitting you with a $9 toll to go from 60th Street to 61st Street.

Speaker 1 Now, what I was saying is this doesn't impact me necessarily because if

Speaker 1 I spend $9 a day,

Speaker 1 I have spending problems. Okay.
Spending $9 a day extra. wouldn't affect me whatsoever.
It's a terrible inconvenience that I will complain about. It's not right.
Okay.

Speaker 1 If you live anywhere near the congestion tax area, you should be exempt. But it's

Speaker 4 not 60.

Speaker 4 It's basically you can either stay above 60th Street and above or 60th and below. But if you cross that line as though you're commuting uptown to downtown, then you pay nine bucks.

Speaker 1 Correct. Sorry if I didn't explain that properly.
If you cross 60th Street, you get hit with a $9

Speaker 1 toll. Yes.
The only people who are exempt are ambulances, which makes sense. I need to buy buy an ambulance.
But think about how much this is.

Speaker 4 You get the first Lexus ambulance.

Speaker 1 I have to call it Sulla. Get a free

Speaker 1 ambulance. Just like it's so

Speaker 1 comfortable.

Speaker 1 Josh, we're going to see in six months that there's like a just a big scam of all these cheap Jews that are piling into a Hutzala to go

Speaker 1 the 60th street line line to avoid paying $9.

Speaker 4 It has satellite radio and oxygen tanks. I love it.

Speaker 4 It has leather and morphing.

Speaker 1 But these Uber drivers, Josh, these commuters, these taxi drivers, like they already, they're fucked.

Speaker 1 The taxi drivers in particular, like you're still looking at guys that, guys and girls that spent a million dollars on a medallion and now the medallion is worthless. Right.

Speaker 1 And they live in a story and they're coming into the city and their margins are so tight and you're hitting them for nine bucks after they've already paid $16 to come in from New Jersey.

Speaker 1 So to get from New Jersey into Manhattan proper right now costs you $27

Speaker 1 a day. That's awful.

Speaker 4 But it's $9 like once you pay it for that day, then you've paid it, right? It's not continuous. Got it.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's one time. That said, I don't know how much it costs if you don't have an Easy Pass, but they say it's more.

Speaker 4 Got it. No, no,

Speaker 4 I'm sure of that.

Speaker 1 And an easy pass, what I, because I went down this rabbit hole. You know who owns Easy Pass?

Speaker 4 Tell me.

Speaker 1 The state.

Speaker 4 Well, that would make sense. You said it like it was China.

Speaker 1 I thought it was a private company. I always, I didn't realize that these Easy Passes, like, sorry.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 My bad.

Speaker 1 You know who owns Easy Pass? Trump.

Speaker 1 Totally.

Speaker 1 No, it's Karen Bass.

Speaker 4 These are the best passes.

Speaker 4 No,

Speaker 4 but okay, so let me throw this out to you. Has the city of New York outgrown motor vehicles?

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's a good question.
I think that the reason the city is so congested now is because we have so mismanaged public transportation. The bus lanes eat up 50% of the streets.

Speaker 1 We have, we, like L.A., pay such exorbitant taxes and spend literally all of it on these traffic cops that I'm sorry are fucking brain dead. They're just sitting there on their phone doing nothing.

Speaker 1 Nothing. I've never been in an area where there's a traffic cop and anything good is happening.
It's automatic traffic. We just mismanage traffic.
We mismanage these bus lanes.

Speaker 1 Then on top of the bus lanes, we want people to bike. So we add the bike lanes.
And then there's one lane for cars to travel. And of course there's going to be traffic.
But people,

Speaker 1 we can't hear that the subways currently aren't as safe as they should be with people being lit on fire and stabbed and then also be asked not to take cars. It's just, what do you do?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, I think like they always talk about the city of Chicago was built to where all the garbage is taken underground. And that's why they don't have the crazy rap problem that New York has.

Speaker 4 And it just New York was built improperly, and or at least it was appropriate when it was fucking New Amsterdam in 1900. But now it's just, there's too many damn people.
It's not sustainable.

Speaker 4 It would be interesting if it became like the first city where if it's not a delivery truck or some sort of ride share,

Speaker 4 cars aren't allowed.

Speaker 1 It would be interesting for sure. It would be.

Speaker 4 I understand why I can't, but just saying, can you imagine if you were the, give us your top three immediate day one implementing strategies, Mayor Saffer, go.

Speaker 1 Clean the streets. Clean all of them.
There is a layer of filth on everything. I literally hop on TikTok and I watch pressure washers.
These people are cleaning rugs from 1840.

Speaker 4 Oh, I love it.

Speaker 1 Clean the streets. Make it look clean.
Do you know how much better you'd feel if you walked around the city and everything wasn't just covered in a layer of soot?

Speaker 1 Every single building, all of it, okay?

Speaker 4 Psychiatrists should be required before they give out an SSRI or Prozac to say, have you watched a power washing video?

Speaker 1 They're amazing. Right.
I love them. Yes, I am.
They're so relaxing. They're so relaxing.
I literally watched, It was a small circular rug that I guess had been, I don't know how it grew grass on it.

Speaker 1 Did you see this one? It was hairy. It was hairy.
They removed the grass and it was a pink rug. He pressure washed, pressure washed, power washed, scrubbed the solution, all this stuff.

Speaker 1 It was gorgeous. Okay, so we're power washing the city, Josh.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Next, we are contributing. a significant amount of money into botanicals, flowers.
We only see it in these

Speaker 1 really affluent areas up and down Park Avenue, Central Park. We're all paying the same fucking taxes.
Okay. New York City taxes are really high, and every part of the city deserves to look beautiful.

Speaker 1 That's it. I want beautiful flowers.
Jackaranders.

Speaker 1 Yes. And then the last one, these are not in order.
There's so many things I would change. Okay.
But we absolutely must create some law and order here. We've lost the plot.
It's gone. It's gone.

Speaker 1 And it seems to just sway like that. We were probably too harsh at one point.
We're too lenient now. Dwayne Reed, which is our local, you guys have CVS.
You're all going to go out of business.

Speaker 1 Looting is at an all-time high. Like everything.

Speaker 1 You cannot get just a razor or a bar of soap or it's all behind lock and key because looting is so bad. And what happens, Josh, when somebody comes in to loot? They watch them and they leave.
So

Speaker 1 you can't do anything about it. And if you can't do anything about it and people know that, then they're going to keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it.

Speaker 1 So we should make some type of law and order.

Speaker 4 We should make legislation that allows for security guards at drugstores to put hands on these fucking thieves and then get them all hopped up on Winstrel cycles, testosterone replacement therapy, get them aggro.

Speaker 4 I'm telling you, a couple of these people get thrown through the gummy candy aisle. It's gonna, it's over.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you.

Speaker 4 On FIFA Reddit, they're all going to stop.

Speaker 1 Good. I'm in.
I'm in. You run for mayor of L.A., I'll run for mayor of New York.
I love it.

Speaker 4 Can you imagine that dickhead Jimbro is in aisle seven going like, try it.

Speaker 1 Try it.

Speaker 1 Try it.

Speaker 4 Like, I'm telling you, bro. All the chestnuts just popping out, you know, ungrown hairs.

Speaker 1 Honestly, I mean,

Speaker 1 we need it. We need it, Josh.
What would you change in LA? And then we'll leave politics in the rear view. We'll leave it.

Speaker 1 Even though I've so greatly enjoyed this conversation, there's nothing more fun than local goings on. Hopefully you guys like it too, but I could complain about this shit all fucking day.

Speaker 1 And the truth is, I'm sure running a city is really, really, really, really hard.

Speaker 4 It's amazing, especially with what you're wearing, that you're in a three-quarter zip sweater and white shoes, because I feel like I'm getting a preview of Ben for the rest of his life.

Speaker 4 Like, you look like, you look like

Speaker 4 me at the country club being like, they call this a club sandwich.

Speaker 4 This is no club I want to be a member of.

Speaker 1 No, I'll be complaining until the day I die. I hope.
I hope.

Speaker 1 That means I've lived a life. of curiosity, Josh.
Always striving for more. Also, I'm wearing my No Bull sweatpants.
I hope they're still a sponsor. Shout out to Noble.
Fantastic. Noble.

Speaker 1 Fantastic. No,

Speaker 1 these sweats are amazing. I love them.
Love them. Where is your mic flag? Olivia, where's the mic flag?

Speaker 2 We haven't gotten them in yet, I don't think. I haven't seen any kind of package come through yet.

Speaker 1 It's there.

Speaker 2 It said it was delivered.

Speaker 1 Definitely. Mine was delivered like four years ago.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know it was delivered a while ago. I haven't seen anything come through here.
All right.

Speaker 1 I'll check the mail room again.

Speaker 1 It's fine.

Speaker 4 Should we get to some stories?

Speaker 1 Please. Even though

Speaker 1 we've only spoken about stories, but yes, fun ones.

Speaker 4 Well, Craig Connover said he and Paige DeSorbo were going to get married weeks before shocking split.

Speaker 4 The Sewing Down South founder, 35, opened up about the pair's future just weeks before DeSorbo revealed they'd been split. They split after three years of dating.
We're playing the long game.

Speaker 4 It would be easy to go for instant gratification, but the foundation that we're building is so that we die together one day, not just make it fun.

Speaker 4 We know we're going to get married one day, and when it happens, it'll be a lot of fun. But whenever that is, who knows? He went on.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 4 So we should say that you basically, people thought that you had leaked that they were getting married a couple episodes ago, which you weren't.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 just am dumb. Like, this is the way that I speak.
Like, when I, when anybody is dating, I'm like, oh, your wife. Oh, your husband.
I just say that. That's what, it's how I speak.
Sure.

Speaker 1 So, no, I meant nothing by it, but the internet grabbed it. I went viral on TikTok, which was pretty exciting.

Speaker 1 And yeah, so sorry. And then once they broke up, all the videos are like, Ben lied to us.
And it's like, no, you created this narrative in your brain. Ben did nothing, said nothing the whole time.

Speaker 1 And yeah. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 Too bad. Shout out Paige and Craig.
Love, love them. Love people.
Craig. Sorry to see.

Speaker 4 Great peeps. Things happen.

Speaker 1 And things happen. And hopefully they find the people right for them nothing like rebuilding at 35.

Speaker 4 next story

Speaker 4 oh this is this is upsetting every cigarette you smoke takes 19.5 minutes off your life new study wheels what what

Speaker 1 yeah this is not gonna this is not gonna no i need to hear it i need to hear it no i mean that's pretty much it you know every cigarette takes 19 minutes off your life.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Oh, but it determined that women lose 22 minutes and men lose 17 minutes.

Speaker 1 Whoa, yet again, we win.

Speaker 1 I just,

Speaker 1 how much of it is genetics, Josh? Like, we all know, and maybe it's just outliers.

Speaker 1 We all know that grandma that's 98 years old that's been smoking cigarettes every single day of her life and dies peacefully. You know, like, and maybe those are just outliers.

Speaker 1 I just, like, I always think to myself, like, if I smoked cigarettes, like really smoked, not just like jokingly smoked, like I, like, I don't smoke cigarettes, just so everybody knows.

Speaker 1 I love the idea of cigarettes. I'm not cool enough to really smoke them, but I'll have a cigarette.

Speaker 1 Now I haven't had one in probably since we were together, whenever that shoot was, but like once a year, let's say.

Speaker 1 But if I were to be addicted and smoke cigarettes, I would die because I know that me myself, I, I, I just, I feel like my genetics wouldn't hold up against the big C, God forbid.

Speaker 1 But like, I feel like some people are just built differently. It's the same reason why I can't eat a piece of bread and not bloat.
But some people can eat bread all day long and stay shredded.

Speaker 1 Like, I just think that some of us are gifted anatomically and some aren't. Thoughts?

Speaker 4 As part of the gifted anatomical group,

Speaker 4 by my morbid obese genetics and flat feet, no, I agree. I think it's look, what they're not factoring in is how many minutes do you gain of life by feeling cool as hell?

Speaker 4 Maybe it just negates because smoking is cool.

Speaker 1 Smoking is cool, man. It's cool.
It's really, really, really cool. I was in Florida over the break and I look to my right, this guy, he's just smoking cigarettes in his car.

Speaker 1 Like imagine caring so little that you are smoking in the front seat of your car. Oh my God.
I just know that guy, cool as hell.

Speaker 4 There is nothing like smoking in the front seat of a Mitsubishi Diamante and just knowing that, like, the next six hours of your life, you're going to be looking for cocaine and looking for fun experiences, fun, and not giving a shit.

Speaker 1 Yes, you come up to him, you're like, Hey, bro, you're going to lose 19 minutes off your life from that cigarette. He's like, Watch me, right?

Speaker 1 He's like, Watch me, okay, watch me. We can do whatever we want, Josh.
We got Karen Bass hanging out with in fucking, where was it, Ghana?

Speaker 4 What are you gonna do about it?

Speaker 4 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to add Karen Bass to my arsenal. I can't believe I'm just being exposed to her.
And her name is Karen. I know.
Oh, she's done.

Speaker 1 This woman is done.

Speaker 1 She's going to be on my dart board. You come into my house, I have a dartboard, De Blasio and Bass.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a law firm.

Speaker 4 De Bassio. Give up.

Speaker 4 Fucking shit.

Speaker 4 Well, other the the other big big thing is influencer david dobrik reveals ripped body transformation after two-year youtube hiatus he's back dobrik's back and ripped i couldn't even believe my eyes i saw him i was like is this ai it's too much

Speaker 1 and then i saw him post like some 75 day challenge with a workout app to maybe it's like a part of something or maybe like he's just so smart like that way like maybe he got shredded and then brought on a partner or something but like when was the last time you spoke to him i i'm in the video i'm in his new vlog reacting to his body oh my god just for a second

Speaker 4 that's fun and what what was it like seeing his body for the first time in person yeah weird because he was like i need you to close your eyes and then i'm gonna do 10 push-ups and then open your eyes and so all i hear is 10 push-ups and then him out of breath taking his shirt off which usually my eyes are open when a dude's doing that around me and he's just like so insanely cut.

Speaker 4 Yes, he's ultra lean and he's a squeak. He's a small kid to begin with.
He's not short, but he's just like a small frame boy.

Speaker 4 Like he revealed in his video that at his biggest weight, he was 181 pounds. I'm like, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Got it. Got it.
Okay, so his highest was 181.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's probably 155 right now or 160. Like he's just so damn lean, but he looks, he looks looks great.

Speaker 1 I mean, his skin looked dolphin-esque. Like, did he also go through like full body shaving, toning, tanning? Like, he looked like a, he looked like a professional athlete.
Like, spring tansy.

Speaker 4 He got a spring tan.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's it? Like, if I get that cut, I still look like Polish.
Like, I'm so, my shoulders are so hairy. Like, I'm just, I'm disgusting.

Speaker 1 He's just not. He's just a hairless cat.

Speaker 4 I don't, yeah, he might not be the hairiest guy.

Speaker 4 I mean, I've got like, I'm weird because I like have like some chest hair and stuff, but like, I don't have the shoulder hair or like the upper arm hair.

Speaker 4 Like, but, you know, I don't think he has any, oh, you have a little shoulder hair, huh?

Speaker 1 I have a lot of shoulder hair. I have back hair.
I have belly hair. I have nipple hair.
I don't have belly hair. I do.
See?

Speaker 4 Oh, that is kiyu.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's nice. I love it.
Speaking of which, just because I look down at my belly button, don't forget to clean your belly button, folks. One day you might wake up and it might smell like shit.

Speaker 1 So hydrogen peroxide.

Speaker 4 We're going to take a quick commercial break while I go shoot myself. Wow, that's cool.

Speaker 1 I have such great belly button hygiene. You have no idea.

Speaker 4 Oh, dude. Speaking of throwing up, I have to tell you one of the greatest stories ever, which is a story of a best friend of mine.
Len. Not Len.
This is not a friend you know.

Speaker 4 So he told me this the other day and it was incredible. So my friend was dating a girl.
It was, you know, whatever. They, they dated for, they went on a couple dates, had a couple canoodle sessions.

Speaker 4 He realized that, you know, he wasn't in the place to be in a relationship. They weren't right for each other.
They moved on, no problem, you know, this is your 30s.

Speaker 4 So she kind of had a thing for him and was, you know, not totally happy with the fact that they weren't going to see each other anymore.

Speaker 4 So one night, she shows up at his work and he's playing music at some club. And she shows up and she's like, I need to talk to you.

Speaker 1 And he's like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 she goes, we should talk at your apartment. And he goes, well, can't we just talk right now? And she's like, no, no, we should talk at your apartment.

Speaker 1 He goes, oh, God.

Speaker 4 So they get to his apartment and she says, I'm six days late.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 4 don't feel good. And I have all the signs and symptoms.
And

Speaker 4 I'm, I'm, I know what it feels like to be pregnant and I'm pregnant. And he goes,

Speaker 1 oh,

Speaker 1 oh.

Speaker 4 And then she says, but don't worry, it's okay. Like, I'm just going to raise the kid.
You don't have to be a part of it.

Speaker 4 And, you know, I'll just move back to my hometown with the kid and you can be in our lives or not. And I said, so what did you say?

Speaker 4 He goes, bro, I walked into my kitchen and proceeded to projectile vomit

Speaker 1 into my kitchen.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Can you imagine? I mean,

Speaker 4 such of this.

Speaker 1 Olivia. That is, that is really, really.

Speaker 1 That's really fucking tough.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Actually, it's funny. I just read a stat that people aren't using condoms anymore.
What's up with that?

Speaker 4 Was that

Speaker 4 stat from the cover of No Shit Weekly?

Speaker 1 Totally. I'm 150.
Those kids aren't wearing condoms.

Speaker 4 It's nuts, but I think it's because we're, I think because people aren't as afraid of HIV.

Speaker 1 Oh, also, I'm sorry. So now that I know how, not difficult, but like getting pregnant is not, it's not an easy thing.
You have to time it, right? It depends.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 4 So tell me how, because like she, it sounds like she set him up because why are they fucking when she's ovulating with no condom first of all a million reasons why i think that by the way she wasn't so days later

Speaker 4 yes oh she wasn't pregnant no it feels like it was just an excuse to see him

Speaker 4 wow oh so she's truly nuts this girl yeah not wow not great and i i'm we'll end it here just because i will have to play this for my friend and see if he's okay with us with us talking about it Even though we're

Speaker 1 I don't even know who it is. So Jay.
Fine. It's probably, who is it, John Stamos? Oh, God forbid.

Speaker 1 He's a happily married man. That's Stamos.

Speaker 4 If this was 10 years ago, you never know.

Speaker 1 Headline, clip it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you never know, dude. Like, that's the thing about getting pregnant is that either it's really easy or really hard.

Speaker 1 I guess so. I just like...

Speaker 1 Oh, man. All right.
Well, thank God they're not pregnant. Good on your friend.
Oh, my.

Speaker 1 Like, here,

Speaker 4 can we role play for a second, Olivia? If you're comfortable, will you just, I'll be my friend and you just say, like, I just want to let you know, like, I'm six days late.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. Okay.

Speaker 4 So, what did you want to tell me, Olivia?

Speaker 2 Um, so

Speaker 2 I just wanted to let you know that

Speaker 2 I am six days late and

Speaker 4 I am

Speaker 1 pretty sure I'm pregnant. Sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm so happy.

Speaker 1 And that is why, folks, you have to watch on YouTube. Also, because this gorgeous new theme song that you're hearing every morning.
Thank you, great work, Josh. Yeah, Olivia, you were amazing.

Speaker 1 This gorgeous new theme song that you're hearing every morning on audio. If you haven't checked it out, there's a wonderful slideshow of me and Josh.
Looks like we're in the 80s. Yes, nice couple.

Speaker 4 Who was the photographer who took those photos, your friend?

Speaker 1 Robert Libertore.

Speaker 1 Shout out.

Speaker 4 King Robert Libertore. And shout out the great Jasmine who works here at Dear Media, who put together that beautiful, beautiful opening theme visual.
She killed it. She's the best.

Speaker 1 Thank you. And shout out, Super Chris.
Super

Speaker 1 producer to the stars. Okay.

Speaker 1 Producer to the stars.

Speaker 4 I love them.

Speaker 1 Stars being us, baby. Us.

Speaker 1 Wow. Have you read the comments? It's literally, I'm watching this YouTube just to listen to the fucking theme song, Josh.

Speaker 4 It's pretty spectac, which is short for spectacular, in case you were wondering.

Speaker 1 It's sick.

Speaker 4 Should we get to one speak pipe really quick? Or good high? Let's do or dear morons.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Definitely not good high. Moron male.
I just don't even know what good high means.

Speaker 4 Because we're the good guys, and it's a good high.

Speaker 1 If you listen to smartlists instead of this podcast, you're a fucking idiot, bro.

Speaker 4 There's no way Bateman and Sean Hayes is giving you this level of hand.

Speaker 1 You think Will Arnett is this funny? No.

Speaker 1 It's unbelievable. We're unbelievable.

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 4 Go listen to Joe Rogan talk about conspiracies, balling.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 This one's from, I don't know. Oh, if you want to leave us a message, go to speakpipe.com slash good guys

Speaker 4 and we'll possibly play something. Okay, where'd it go?

Speaker 1 Where'd it go?

Speaker 4 All right. This first one is from, I don't know.

Speaker 5 Hey, Josh and Ben. I just wanted to ask some advice.
So, Josh, I know you have kids already, and Ben, you're about to be a dad. Congratulations.
I just wanted to ask kind of a two-parter.

Speaker 5 Number one, when did you decide to have kids and why did you decide that time was the right time? And two, I'm just trying to figure out the best time for my husband and I.

Speaker 5 For context, we've been together six years. We got married last summer and we've been talking about it more and more.
We feel like it's the right time.

Speaker 5 We're also both 35 years old and 35 is considered being an old mom, which sounds awful just because it doesn't seem that old, but it is when it comes to being a mother.

Speaker 5 So I just wanted to know what your advice would be. We're also living in an apartment and would like to buy a house at the end of the at the end of the year.

Speaker 5 So we're just trying to figure out when the best time to do it. Do we wait till we buy the house? Do we just try to conceive? Because we never know how that's going to go anyway.

Speaker 5 God willing that it happens right away. So yeah, any advice would be great.
Love you guys.

Speaker 4 Do it. Have the kid already.

Speaker 1 I agree. And if you're even debating it, I mean this with all due respect.
And if Olivia, this is not an appropriate comment, tell me and we will cut it out. But lady, freeze your eggs.

Speaker 1 Like just in case you are dilly dallying, once you're in your mid-30s, late 30s, if you haven't started trying, I would like you to have the best chance of getting pregnant.

Speaker 1 And the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be. And again, this is a male talking on a woman trying to get pregnant.
So if this is inappropriate, we will cut it out.

Speaker 1 But I would like to see you get pregnant. And it feels like it's certainly time.

Speaker 4 But I will say, knowing from close people in my life who have frozen their eggs, first of all, it's very expensive and it's a shunda for someone to go through with the shots and it induces hormones and it's it is really a journey to go through a wonderful one if that's what you want.

Speaker 4 But it sounds like she just wants to try the old-fashioned way, which I would say go like do it now, do it yesterday, because there really is no perfect time.

Speaker 4 But luckily, time sort of makes a decision for you as you get to your mid-30s, late 30s. It's like, just do it already because it's very tiring.
It's better when you have more energy.

Speaker 1 You see, it's so interesting. I had no idea the process of freezing eggs.
I assume you just go in there with a spoon, scoop out an egg, throw it in the fridge.

Speaker 4 No, they have to induce, they have to basically make you produce more eggs. And then they like go in and take the follicles.
And isn't that a fun word? Follicles.

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 1 I love that word. Follicle, follicle, follicle.
It's fantastic. But yeah, start fucking.
Like, get the show on the road. Get the show on the road.
Like, it's so fun. It's enough.

Speaker 4 It's so fun. And making them.

Speaker 1 And by the way, you're dating Josh for six years, starting at 29. Guys, see, I don't, again, this is going to be sexist.
I'm going to blame him for being non-committal.

Speaker 1 But like, what took you so long? Okay.

Speaker 1 And yes, now that you're married, if you would like to have children, have children. Don't wait for the house.
Don't wait for this. Don't wait for that.
Just try and you'll figure it out.

Speaker 4 And honestly, with one kid, we lived in a two-bedroom apartment till my son was three and a half. And then we moved into a house and we had our second kid.

Speaker 1 My parents lived in a studio apartment with me and I slept in their bedroom. You figure it out.
Like, you just, you figure it out.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you do. Should we get to our what are you nuts?

Speaker 1 Should, even though I feel like this whole episode, which is what made it so great, there were so many what are you nuts is. Karen, freaking bass,

Speaker 1 you lunatic.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Josh, you go.

Speaker 4 So I love, you know me, our what are you nuts is our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and small, whatever, sticking in your craw. I love donuts.
I'm the donut king of LA.

Speaker 4 And I have my spots. The other day, I was going with my kids to sidecar donuts, delicious donut spot.
They like basically make them fresh every hour, but they also will do a savory offering.

Speaker 4 And all I have to say is a basil eggs Benedict donut is what are you nuts. It's not necessary.
We don't need it. Stick to an an old-fashioned or a jelly-filled.

Speaker 4 We don't need basil egg benedict donuts.

Speaker 1 What do you nuts?

Speaker 1 That's vile. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Especially if you're serving a savory donut.
Now I'm trying to think about it.

Speaker 1 Sure, maybe there's a time and place, but not at a donut shop where they also serve sweets. Totally.
No, no good. Don't I know it? I'm out on that.
No good. I have two.

Speaker 1 My first, I'm just going to reiterate again, that Karen Bass being at the inauguration of the president of Ghana is what are you nuts? Are you nuts? Are you nuts?

Speaker 1 Second

Speaker 1 is

Speaker 1 every single time that I went to get my morning Starbucks in Florida, I needed to go up. I did mobile order, Josh.
Okay, mobile order. It's fantastic.
My coffee's waiting there for me.

Speaker 1 They keep their straws behind lock and key. You have to request a straw, but they always have the straws ready to give it to you.

Speaker 1 But the whole point of me mobile ordering is that my coffee is ready to go and they're nowhere near the mobile order area.

Speaker 1 They're back, they're with the they're making the coffees, they're doing all these things. So it takes me an extra at least three minutes to get my straw.
What do you nuts release the straws?

Speaker 1 What do you think I'm gonna do? Take 15 of them? No, I'm taking one. It's the same one that I'm taking.

Speaker 1 If you're making it convenient for me with the mobile ordering, then make it convenient with the straws as well.

Speaker 1 And just on top of that i want to remind you tip your baristas starbucks is hell these people are working so fast nobody ever thinks to tip a barista at a mobile order and i'm telling you i've been tipping my barista or baristo what do you call a male barista bro okay i've been tipping my barista

Speaker 1 and the relationship between me and him it's never been better my coffee is perfect and you're doing the right thing tip your baristas baristos tip your burritos

Speaker 4 Thank you, Ben. Take us home.

Speaker 1 Folks, this episode was literally a 15 stars. So if you don't give us five stars, you are absolutely nuts.
Okay. Get out of here.
Share with a friend. Okay.

Speaker 1 Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcast. Watch us on Josh's YouTube.
You'll see that beautiful collection. It's almost like bar mitzvah in the 90s.

Speaker 1 They should put time of your life instead of hour jingle to that beautiful montage that Jasmine made. It's fantastic.

Speaker 1 Fantastic.

Speaker 1 Instagram, TikTok, consume us, watch us, share us with a friend Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.

Speaker 4 And please support our sponsors by using our code. It really helps the podcast and it helps the people that support our show.

Speaker 1 Yes, amen to that.

Speaker 3 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 3 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.