Josh and Helen REUNITE! with Yvette Nicole Brown

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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Josh Peck.
And I'm Ben Soffer. And we're the good guys.
There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones.
Mazel morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with a person who's endorsed by nine out of ten healthcare professionals and the tenth one's anti-Semitic, it's Ben Soffer.
And I am here with literally somebody that we've wanted to have on the podcast for so long, Yvette Brown. You don't even know, You don't even know what you're doing for us today.
What? Today, folks, we have Helen and Josh. Josh literally never lets us talk about Drake and Josh.
And that's all we're going to do today. That's all we're going to do.
So, folks, welcome to the movie theater. I'm Crazy Steve.
Let's get going. Oh, wow.
This is exciting. You never let them talk about Drake and Josh? No, we talk about it.
He hates it. He hates it.
No, this is good, though, because you know why? Yvette, you were paid, and Josh just wasn't. Trust me, I was not paid.
Yvette was not paid. I was definitely not paid.
Are you kidding me? No, nothing? There are no residuals for adults either? I mean, allegedly, it's like maybe $20 or something. Like, it's not.
You don't get anything? That get residuals, right? You don't get anything? Oh, it's a big donut. It's a bagel.
Oh, that's a shame because they air that crap like crazy. But I will say this.
It took me probably 10 years before I got anything because they prepay. There's some weird, you probably have talked about it on the pod, but we signed a contract not with Nickelodeon directly.
We signed a contract with, I can't remember the name of the company. And then that company would then pay us money.
But you basically agreed to that company that they're going to, whatever they pay over scale, they get to eat up in residuals until you eat it up. And so I finally, after 10 years, got to the point where, and I wasn't getting that much over scale, trust me.
But it took about 10 years before I would start seeing $20 or $30. Oh, wow.
Yeah, you see nothing. I would sue.
Can I? I think you can. Ben, I don't know if we can, but I'm down.
No, but I mean, that's ridiculous because they run that show to this day like crazy. Oh, yeah.
I've made my peace with it. And by that, I mean, I'm on a lot of antidepressants.
Oh, that's so upsetting. Yeah.
What can you do? It's just, it is interesting that they did get, they got us at a bit of a bargain. I'll say, especially you guys.
I mean, you, I only did, I think, 14 or 15 episodes total. People think I was on every episode.
I was not. That was your power.
That really, that's's a lot about who you are, how beloved your character was, and just how talented you are. Thank you, Fran.
It felt like you were a cast member on every episode. Yeah.
You know, it's funny. If I get stopped on the street, I think I get stopped for Drake and Josh more than anything, even more than community.
People still love Helen. And I'm like, it was 15 episodes 20 years ago, but yeah, they still love the old girl.
For me, it's Turner and Hooch. It's weird.
Is it really? People don't really. No.
No way. They don't love Trank and Josh.
They certainly don't know Turner and Hooch. The Disney Plus days.
I'm not good in a duo. I think we realized.
As a consumer, I can say Helen was just iconic. Thank you.
And really the relationship that the two of you had on that show, the movie theater was just like, it was the best. Like that was, the laughs were nonstop.
But I was going to ask, what was it like working with a young Josh? You know, it's so funny. Every time I see, I'm almost like close to a tear every time I see your little face because one, Drake and Josh was the first or second thing I did that was actually something that endured beyond like one episode or something.
And I had done a pilot before. I did two episodes of Girlfriends, a pilot that I didn't know was going to become a show.
And that's why one episode, Helen's not there because the show got picked up and I had to go and do, I told you a story before, right? Oh, well, tell the story because I was going to say that there is, if people want to do a deep dive, there's an episode with a Helen. That's not me.
That's not Helen. Frances Collier played Helen for one episode.
She's awesome too. She is amazing.
It's really funny. So I booked this show called The Big House, which was Kevin Hart's first sitcom.
We did the pilot and then in between that pilot being shot, I booked Drake and Josh. So I came to do my, what was supposed to be one episode of Helen.
It was going to be, she was just going to do one guest star. And then they decided they wanted to bring Helen back.
By the time they wanted to bring Helen back, the Big House had gotten picked up. And I thought I was about to be on an ABC show and I wouldn't be able to get away.
So they ended up recasting Helen because they needed her in the show. So new Helen is there.
And then by the time they wanted to bring Helen back for the third time, Big House had been canceled. So we did six episodes and were canceled.
So then I was free again. And that's how I was able to come back.
So that's the Helen saga. God bless the cancellation.
Oh, good. And a young Joshy.
What was that like? Okay. So the thing about a young Josh Peck is that he has always been, don't look, I don't want

to look at you while I say this.

I'm going to look at the camera.

He's always been very talented, very professional, an old, old man.

He's always been an old, old man.

So we were just talking out in the lobby about it.

Me and Josh, it was my first, really kind of the first thing I ever did.

And you had just been in Hollywood just a little bit of time.

And so we have never been Hollywood. To this day, we're not Hollywood.
We're in it, but not of it. So we would see shenanigans on set and tantrums and people acting up in a thousand different ways.
And me and Josh, he's like 12 and I'm 28, 29, 30. We're like, I don't know why they're misbehaving in this way.
Like we just never were in on the ballyhoo, you know, for the most part. And so every time I see you, I'm so proud of you, of the man that you've become.
You've never changed. You've always had just a heart of gold and been just the sweetest person, which is so funny that Helen hated Josh so much.
But, you know, Yvette loved Josh. Like you're just lovely.
No, no, no, gumdrop. You're the greatest.
truthfully i some it needs to be said that there were two cases on drake and josh i remember of characters who came on who became in an instant and it really look inevitably it's like words are words and especially when you have the the core cast of a show these people have been you know really there's been basically like a surgery done to these characters where it's like every nuance has been worked out and right you know all the creatives have figured out exactly what your sparkle is right and how to integrate that into the character a guest star you kind of don't know what it's going to be right right? The first time around. Absolutely.
And it was you and Jerry Trainor. Jerry Trainor.
Crazy Steve. So good.
Who walked on. We did literally take one and they were like, give them all the parts.
Like, done. And there were plenty of people who came and did a nice job with their two scenes.
And then they didn't come back Yeah. But you and Jerry Traynor, they were like, gotcha.

It was so great.

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I remember there was a scene where you come in and you said, when I said, give me a hot dog, and you say, do you want me to put mustard on it? I'll never forget your line reading because it was sober. You want me to put mustard on it? It's not going to put mustard on itself.
And that, for me, was when it clicked that these two were going to be nemesis and it was going to be really funny and you know i think that you and i had a lot of chemistry so it was really great when did you now you were also and i remember because we were like we were our own little buddy comedy yes we were yeah and then josh lost about 100 pounds and his mind and i was i was on a funny island just and we call it cliche island and yvette was you know was perfect but was the kind of person was that was not gonna hide her disapproval i was very disappointed because no because you had been my little gumdrop and you had been my, my steady and my buddy. And, you know, I, the thing is I was scared for you.
Like I was scared. I was scared that this Hollywood beast had gotten you.
And I felt like, you know, what was beautiful about you has always been your heart. Right.
And I felt like you were losing the connection to what made you special. And not that you have to be anything for me or for anybody else, but I felt like you had already withstood so many of the other things that this business tries to do to you.
And I just was like, oh, come on, baby, come back. Like, don't let this take you away.
And so I always felt like your mama. And so I just felt like there were a couple of times where I was like, let me just kind of peek in and see if I can see if he's still in there and kind of tell him, you know, I think we had one blow up on set and it hurt.
My feelings were hurt. I was hurt because you spoke to me in a way that I met my sweet little baby never would have said.
And I can't even remember what it was about. I really don't remember.
But I just remember I had over and in fairness, I had overstepped my bounds because I wasn't your mother. And I had said something to you like, you know, like, well, what are you doing? Or I can't remember what it was.
And you you told me that, listen here. And I was like, well, damn, the baby then told me what, you know, so I had a moment where I was just like, and that's when I was that's when I knew that it was time for me to let you be who you were.
And if you were going to come back, you would. And you did.
You found your way back. So, yeah.
Well, thank you.

And I think at that time,

how Ben looks like he's going to need therapy after this.

I would watch that movie.

No, what do you mean?

I don't need therapy.

That is fucking, that is beautiful.

Do you understand, Josh?

The rise and fall and then the rise again

and Yvette is there.

And it's just, there is something to pitch. Don't I know it? This is like the happy version of A Star is Born.
Without that shitty end suing Nickelodeon, taking that money and self-funding this production. This will be funded by Nick.
I, you know, and I look back at that time. And while I'm not like proud of acting like a total cliche or out of pocket as the children say or just not being myself I also look at that time of being like that was really from 17 to 21 where kids are especially stupid yeah and testing boundaries absolutely and and I had been working since I was so young and you had been so good like is the thing.
Up until that point, there was nothing on your list of misdeeds. Nothing.
You had been that kid. And so almost if you had made it to adulthood and not had a moment where you were out there a little bit.
Drinking and being dumb. Yeah, come on.
It's a rite of passage. You'd be a square.
This is good. I like this.
You'd be a total square. I'd be like, I don't know.

I'm literally-

A square. I literally am a total square now.
It's funny. I have one best friend who got sober

around the same time I did. But we were running buddies because we were both using it at the

same time. And everyone will be so kind to me now in my life.
And he goes, let me just make it clear

about who good old Josh Beck was before you met him. I didn't even know the extent of it.
I just knew I knew that it was something. You know what I mean? And again, it was not my place to be like, what are you doing? What you know, I said what I could say.
And then I let I just prayed and hoped that it would be OK. But I just I don't remember being a long span of time.
And I do remember you bringing yourself back from the brink of what it was, because I think you've always wanted more for your life than what this industry has to offer. I think you always could kind of see, this ain't it.
You know what I mean? You dip a toe in, but you didn't stay. No, thanks.
Ben is the celebrity over here. He's the one who loves the entire scene.
Love it because I'm an outsider. I'm not an actor.
I love it. I love just the intricacies, the inside baseball of it all.
What was it like working with snot-nosed kids? You know what? I feel that the kids on Nickelodeon and also on Disney, because I did some Disney stuff too, were really consummate professionals for the most part. And also because I was the adult there, they weren't showing me what they were doing.
I didn't know. And I didn't want to know, you know what I mean? I would do my job and I would go home and I'm the same way now on sets.
Like I, I go to work, I do my job, I make friends, I'm kind and all that. But if you're going to the party, I don't go to the parties.
I don't go to the after parties. You're not going to see me on any tapes of nothing.
I'm at the house doing Lego. That's the, that's the right way to do it.
I never understood people.

Corporate America going to a happy hour.

What are you trying to prove?

Exactly.

You don't have any regular friends?

Wait, I think you just got the exclusive.

Yvette, you're into Lego?

Oh, I love Lego.

What are we talking about?

Are you 100 piece 2000?

I love Lego.

I love Lego.

I love Lego too, Ben.

Let me tell you something.

No, I love Lego more than you. We all love Lego here.
The amount of 10,000 piece Legos I made during COVID. Oh, literally.
COVID, it was crazy times. Like I will say this.
I have not reached the Titanic Eiffel Tower level just because I don't have the space. I have the skill.
I just don't have the space. Sure.
But I think the biggest I did was probably Batman's Lair. And then I did the Black Panther.
If you saw my house, I have the Pac-Man machine. I have Nintendo and Atari.
I have the Disney castle. I have everything Star Wars.
I have R2-D2, Grogu, Yoda, Darth Vader's. I have some of the dioramas from Star Wars.
I'm trying to think what else I have. Stranger Things.
I literally build Lego all the time. All the time.
And every vehicle, every vehicle that comes out, I make. And do you keep them? Like, are you one of the people that like puts that like, what is it? Like glue around it so they stay? No, I don't keep them to stay.
I've started to, there's some that are nostalgic for me. Like I love, I build Winnie the Pooh and Sesame Street.
Those sets, the Sesame Street set is one of my, is my favorite build I've ever done. And I have like all the friends that have Seinfeld and I have the office.
So when I build it and I don't feel a nostalgic, sentimental thing, I will break it up, put into the huge Ziploc bags and give it to Goodwill because there's some kid that can't afford it that would love the chance to build it. So I put all of the instructions in there and all the pieces and someone else can have the joy.
If it's something that's special to me, like my Pac-Man machine or my Atari, I'm going to keep it forever. So in my office, I have shelves.
And so I put them in there or on display in the house, different places in the house. Legos really saved you.
It really is. It really saved me.
I started doing it when my mother passed because it's a very, you can, any, this is, sorry, we're going to get serious for a minute, children. If you are dealing with any type of grief, the best way to deal with it is to take your mind off it.
Right. So things like knitting, puzzles, drawing.
Sorry. Stop it.
It's my brain. Let go.
Stop it. Anything that gets you.
Stop it. Gets you in the flow.
You guys know that flow. Like if you're an artist, when you start painting or drawing, there's a moment when you look up and 12 hours, five hours have passed.
And you're like, what? Where the time go? That's the flow. So anything you can do to get you in the flow is good for grief.
And so Lego was the flow for me. So that's when I got into it.
I'm better now, but I still enjoy it when I need to just take my mind off things, I'll start building. Have you had a Lego sponsorship? I don't, Lego, come on and call me.
I don't know what I got to do to get a sponsorship. This is one of the biggest podcasts in the world.
And I'm just saying brands, listen.

So Lego, let's go.

Come on.

Yeah, they did send me one.

They sent me the piano.

I made that.

They sent me the grand piano for my birthday one year,

which was worth the price of admission.

So that might be enough.

But this is how you stay a good person.

You do Lego.

You mind your business.

Do Lego.

Don't go to a freak off.

That should be.

That's the motto. Listen, worked for me.
Right for me gosh i love lego big fan huge fan huge do you remember when we had a young diana agron as a i do one of drake's one of drake's people he had a lot of aren't there a lot of now famous people that cycle through drake and josh i think was one. Yeah, she was there.
Yeah, I remember the episode with Diana. She was at the premiere.
They were meeting at the premiere for a date, which might be that, you know, every person he dated met at the premiere for a date. But I remember her.
Yeah. I remember that you were so adorably pure.
And Diana, I loved it. And Diana, you know, I don't think she wasn't on Glee yet.
No wasn't quite famous, but she was as lovely as she's always been and so wonderful and beautiful. And I just remember I was like in my funny weight stage then where I like I had long eyebrows and about 60 pounds to go.
And no, no, no. I had long sideburns, not long eyebrows.
I was about to say, I don't mean the long eyebrows. I was going to say, what the fuck is a long eyebrow? I had long sideburns and about 60 pounds to go.
And I remember you so sweetly came up to me and said, now that's the kind of girl you should go on a date with. Maybe that's when we had the blowout.
Was that when we had the blowout? You were like, don't tell me who to date, Yvette. No, go ahead.
No, you said, you were like, you should ask her on a date. She's a sweet little date.
I was like, Yvette, thank you for believing in me. But I don't think that's ever going to happen.
Oh, I think she would have loved you, honey. Well, let's ask her.
Diana, come on in. Oh, that's funny.
I was always I'm a matchmaker at heart. I love to see young people get together.
Love that. Yeah.
So, Ben, me more about your experience with like a healthy childhood. You know, me and Bruce, Bruce is my father, park it on the couch and we watched Drake and Josh.
And then when my sister got old enough, she watched too. Like we loved that show.
Oh, I loved it. How did you guys become friends? I think also like I was, I'm still fat, but I've lost 70 pounds.
Ozempic is a miracle. Wow.
A miracle, Evelyn. But as like a fat, I don't know, 13 year old watching Josh was the best.
Right. Like I can't, like there was just like, and it's so funny because we really never talk about it.
And Josh and I have been doing this podcast for over two years now and we're best friends, but like watching him then it's just, it was, it was finally somebody relatable on TV. How did you guys become friends? How did this? We met through, I think the first time was like through DMs, like maybe five or six years ago, but I used to work in marketing and I brought Josh a deal for Little Caesars.
And he was kind enough to send me a beautiful gift card for a wonderful steakhouse called Nastros. and somehow and somehow some way we became friends because we have very similar yiddishy jewish humor and overbearing mothers and obesity and just the list sort of goes on but it's been 20 years i don't know there was never there was never linked by obesity yeah really lean with the negative.
There was never like another fat boy on TV. I don't know.
Like it just like was so nice and hysterical. Yeah.
Do you ever deal with, like I will say recently, I've been promoting this new show that I host called Best Bite Wins on Roku. And it's about hors d'oeuvres and everything.
And Ben and I talk about this that, you know, it's, I appreciate it, but sometimes people will bring the weight up to me and I'll be like, it was 20 years ago, but I can honor that when I had something that was probably my most popular thing, I look different. And it's still airing.
Like it was yesterday. That's the other thing.
They just saw you, you know, as that little boy. That yes that's probably what it is yeah and so i was doing this interview with this guy on the radio and he clearly didn't do a bunch of research he was like quoting things he's like so what's it like on grandfathered i'm like it was canceled nine years ago it's bad but and then he brought up the show and he's like you know you're you're hosting this food show and you've lost all this weight is that do you find that triggering oh my god what a fucking idiot i was like would you fucking save it oprah i mean not not to disparage oprah it could never be oprah but i'm like dog and and i just i was like how do i get out of this elegantly but But have the smallest boundary for myself.
Right. And I just, I was like, how do I get out of this elegantly? But make like, but have the smallest boundary for myself.
Right. And I said, you know, I understand why you're asking.
I said, I lost the weight 20 years ago. So it's not really an issue for me anymore.
Yeah. And that was it.
And he just moved on. I would have lit him up.
Like what a fucking loser. What would you say? Here, let's role play.
Let's role play. Let's Okay, go.
Okay, I'm going to be the radio host. You're the radio host, not you.
Do you want to be Ben's publicist? I will. I'll be Ben's publicist.
He better be the publicist. I'll be the radio disc jocking.
So, Ben, you know, you used to be a big, fat, fat, fatty. Oh, oh.
Big, fat, huge. Oh, I'm sorry.
Massive. I'm sorry.
Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, ben ben ben ben excuse me sir i'm sorry that that's inappropriate ben we gave him a list of things not to bring up your weight was one of them so i'm going to ask him to please move on to the next question we're live ben what's it like working on this incredible food show best bite wins on roku and having to see all that food all the time ben you're a fatty fuck fat bastard. Okay, we're gonna end this interview right now because it's just- Fat bastard.
Okay, all right, Ben. You ever seen the whale? You have a deal with Disney? This is not the time.
You look like him. You fucking Brendan Fraser fat bastard.
Hold on, I'll play the president of Disney. Yeah.
Yvette, I'm watching this live. You are.

Ben's having a meltdown and just told the host to go fuck himself. He said the host was fat.

I know, sir.

Ben has been triggered.

And we had asked him not to say anything about Ben's weight.

And you know how this is.

This is NG.

Not good.

I know it's not good, sir.

But he's going to go to rehab.

He's going to apologize first.

And he's going to go to rehab.

And he's going to say that he's in anger management management and this will be gone in like 48 hours. Yes.
You're right. Wow.
Thank you. Excellent.
Well done to improvise with the professional. That was phenomenal.
But really I would have like, what could, that's such a weird question. How do you feel around food? What does he think you eat from from a tube? Like, yeah, he still has lunch and dinner and he lives on planet Earth.
How do you feel around food, Josh? I think it's weird to bring up people's bodies anyway. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not happy to hear that it happens to men too, but at least I feel better knowing that it happens to men too.
Why are we discussing people's bodies? And how do you know, how does he know that you didn't lose the weight

because you were sick?

You know what I mean?

Like, what are you doing?

Oh, so should I go back?

Because people ask me, they go,

oh, you lost all that weight.

Why?

I have diabetes and I'm trying to keep my feet.

So I can't eat the sugar that I used to eat.

You know what I mean?

You want to see my A1C numbers?

Like it's none of your business

what's going on in my body.

It's my body.

You know what I mean?

It's so weird.

It's just weird.

I love that answer. I want to keep my feet.
I'm going to start using that. do it's really the reason why i was like i got to stop eating this food like this yeah no i got sick so what are you gonna do that could be a good campaign keep the feet keep the feet you know keep the feet put down the sugar keep the feet we are a goby want to keep the feet if you want if you want to kick if you want to kick the sugar you have have to keep your feet.
Keep the feet.

Nicely.

Because you can't kick.

That's the marketing.

Ben, I also like deals from Little Caesars.

Do you have any friends looking for it?

Well, I may be out of that game.

I'm still in the game of finding people money.

Josh, we're getting Yvette some good deals.

At a minimum, we're getting you Lego.

I'm telling you. Please.
I would love Lego. That's easy.
I would love that. This is going to be big time.
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Gold membership is offered by Robinhood Gold, LLC. Should we get to some stories, Ben? Yeah.
Yeah. Weird stories, though.
weird. Well, it's worth talking about that a nursing home releases bizarre job listing to bring sexy back to elderly patients.
A tongue in cheek recruitment ad for a $145,000 aged care position has promised to bring sexy back to the female dominated industry. Mars.
Mars Recruitment uploaded several ads to Seek on Tuesday for clinical nurse manager positions available for an unnamed aged care not-for-profit provider with the headline, Bring Sexy Back to Aged Care. Yeah, okay, so it's in Australia, and maybe aged care will never be labeled as sexy, but let me tell you what it always was and always is and always will be.
Absolutely, undeniably beautiful. So it doesn't sound like it's anything sexy.
I don't understand what do you do with that? Do you dress sexy? Do you bring, what is the job? Well, I think the job is, I think it's dressing sexy. Dressing sexy for the older people.
I think so, for the old people, which I just want to know, they're talking about bringing sexy back. Were people like looking sexy in old age homes? Like, was that a thing? I don't know that that's ever been a thing.
Well, there is the sexy nurse, right? So I've heard, which is like, I don't know, if you want to wear a revealing figs, that's up to you. These guys can't even see.
There are some figs that are, or scrubs that are very tight though. You know, it says a lot how someone wears their scrubs.
Say more. You know what I mean? Because like I, my dad, I'm a caregiver.
And so my dad had a fall recently. So we were in hospitals and nurse, nursing rehabs and all that.
And some of, some of the people like to show what they got in the scrubs. And some people like to wear like a burlap sack.
I think it depends on who you are as a person. Like there's some that wear their scrubs so tight.
I'm like, how are you sitting down without ripping the seams off of those scrubs? So it's a choice. You wouldn't know it, but at one point in time, I was a dental hygienist's assistant.
I wore those scrubs. How did you wear your scrubs? Were they tight or were they loose? Loose as a goose.
Loose as a goose when I wear them. I sleep in scrubs sometimes.
They're very loose. Me at 280 pounds with tight scrubs.
They wouldn't, they would have closed the office. You look like the field of Yankee Stadium with a rain delay.
This is a tarp. Oh no.
Wait, you sleep in scrubs? They're very comfortable. What an interesting pajama choice.
It's like a nice, nice pajamas. Not all the time, but yes.
What's your, what's your scrub brand? Oh, gosh. Fix is good.
Cherokee's got some nice ones. I was, I was a Dickies man.
Oh, Dickies is old school. Dickies is old school.
Yeah. Well, I didn't know.
Since you guys brought it up, do you guys want to hear the STD rates in nursing homes over the past 20 years? Sure. I've got some statistics.
Sure. Thank you, AI.
Bring sexy back. The most common STDs diagnosed in patients over 60 years old are, well, we've got the HERP at 16% or assorted others at 29%.
I mean, yeah, it's a lot. It's hot.
STDs are hot in nursing homes. This is why, though, because there's no fear of pregnancy.
So a lot of them are not strapping up because of that, probably. I've never even thought about it, though.
People are fucking in nursing homes and giving each other herpes. Oh, it's big, Ben.
Apparently they are. Holy crap.
My grandmother, who was at Daughters of Israel.

Don't finish this.

In North New Jersey.

Don't do it.

Don't tell us about your grandmother.

My grandmother was sour and sweet, my boy, because she would say, it's wonderful here.

They bring me my juice every morning.

I love it here.

And that's my favorite nurse, Michael.

I love you, Michael. Michael would leave the room and she'd go, he steals.
I'd be like, I don't think so, grandma. She's like, I haven't seen three out of four of my Werther's butterscotch.
Like, dog, no one's stealing your Werther's. Werther's are stealable though.
Delish. They're very delicious.
They're fantastic. They really are.
But you can't go with the sugar freeze. I recently had a bad, I had a bad run.
I had a bad run in Yvette with sugar-free candy last week. Bad.
I went in, got a bunch of it, like the jelly beans and the Werther's and all this stuff. Oh, man, my stomach was nuts.
It's not good sugar-free. Like, my thing is, if you're going to do it, get the sugar, just don't eat a lot of it.
And listen, I think you

can't really appreciate Werther's to at least 40. You can't.
Before that, it's just disgusting. But

when you turn 40, you eat a Werther's and it stays in your mouth for about 20 hours because

Werther's takes forever to dissolve. That's what's so great about it.
You can do one and just,

you can't bite it, Ben. You got to let it dissolve.
Oh, I bite. You can't bite it.
That is unbelievable. I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite.

I'm a bite of self-control. My Werther is done in 30 seconds.
That's why you both look like, what, 20 hours? If you just let it dissolve, you can have Werther's deliciousness for hours at a time on one. Wow.
Do you ever have moments, like a cheat day where you're like, I don't want to lose a foot, but this is so good, I'll lose a'll, I'll lose a toe. Yeah.
Like what, what do you go for? You know, I'm on a Mike and Ike kick right now and it's dangerous. You like sugar.
Yeah. I mean, I ate myself into diabetes with it and you know what else is really good? Tootsie Roll has these things called fruities.
So it's like fruit. Yep.
Olivia's like, yes, it's fruit flavored Tootsie Rolls, but they are the most flavor rich fruit flavor you can have better than Starburst, better than than Mamba. It's just concentrated lime or cherry or whatever.
They're called Fruities. They're so good by Tootsie Roll.
Oh, yum. Are you a Twizzler person? Are you a Twizzler person? It's not sweet enough for me.
Have you ever had the individually wrapped Twizzlers? No, because it's like a hit of sugar. I don't like a hit of anything.
If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it. I don't want a flavor type of thing.
It needs to be the flavor. And so Twizzlers is sort of like strawberry or sort of like cherry.
I want to get in. Give me cherry.
So like a peach ring. Yes.
You like a peach ring? Yes. Or like a, what about like a nerd's rope or a nerd's gummy cluster? The nerd's rope will send me right into diabetes heaven and I'll go smiling.
I'll look at sweet Jesus and go, welcome. I made it.
A nerd's cluster? Oh, you know those little, the little ones? Please. Unbelievable.
Who made those? Who made those? Whenever you're, whenever you're ready, you're like, all right, I don't need my feet you call me we're eating who makes those like why do they do that it's a texture play it's a that's what it is it's a texture play I didn't realize I was into it but one bite of those things and the whole bag is gone yeah sick don't I know I fly with those I only give them to myself when I fly else is really good, you guys? Hot tamales! Yvette's booking a trip to San Francisco. Just to get my clusters.
Just to get my clusters. Hot tamales are delicious.
Never liked them as a kid. They're delicious now.
That little cinnamon goodness. They're amazing.
I gotta try that. Ben, what does your your lovely beautiful wife love as a little snackaroo other than you she loves she loves a hershey kiss big big hershey kiss fan she likes also like a hershey's bar she likes like a chocolate bar she's actually more of like a savory she loves a pretzel or like a potato chip she's far less like candy candy yeah for me if you put the same as you, Yvette.
If you put one nerd gummy cluster in front of me, the whole bag is gone. The whole bag is gone.
And if you give me one chocolate bar. It's done.
If you bought up thing, I could eat chocolate until I die. It's done.
Halloween. Halloween is dangerous for me.
Like there have been years where like I would go and like, I'm that kid that goes like in the, in the building, steals the whole bucket of candy. I ate it all that night, like 200 pounds.
Yikes. Yeah, Snickers.
Oh yeah, Snickers. Oh, Snickers are great.
Well, there's another big story, which is swinging couple reveal how they got started and their major rules for intimacy. Oh.
A couple who have been together since 2009 reveal the conversation that sparked their

swinging lifestyle.

Of course, this is Olivia and Gage, because only a guy named Gage could be in a successful

open relationship.

Long story short, it was a mutual decision.

Conversations happening over a couple of weeks about our Olivia's sexuality and as it applied to Gage. And here I'm trying to find the rules.
Where's the rules? The couple realized that there was a huge issue with apps and forums. So they decided to create their own for a really safe environment.
And you can't screenshot any images on there. Important.
Sure you can. And so people can be as discreet as possible there's no photo sharing but it's okay to be non-monogamous is it i give it to the floor is it i would like to point out the stds at the center of the old people so it is not safe i don't know this it's not my thing i feel if you're with somebody, be with them.
I don't like the inviting other people into the situation. That's just me.
Amen. Yep.
Agreed. I'd be too scared too.
I can't even imagine. I just don't want it.
Listen, it's hard enough to show my body to the one person. I don't know if I'm trying to have everybody looking at my body.
Yeah. I don't want to do it.
And I've also now like the beauty of being with a partner for a long period of time is like you've like through you've like numbed yourself to their reaction to your body you know it's like a callus for your brain whoa god it hurts hilarious well we do something called speak pipes on the show where we get messages from people who want advice or have questions so i think we can get into a couple of those if you want to leave us a message go to speakpipe.com slash good guys keep it brief brevity is key let's hear from ali i'm not great at this hold on let me refresh it hey Allie hey good guys more on Allie here I need some advice I have drunkenly hooked up with my co-worker twice and always in the moment I'm like yeah this is nice and teachers, so I see him at school, and we're very cordial and nice and whatever, but I see him in person, and I'm like, I actually don't think I like you. What should I do? Should we go on a date? Should we continue to hook up? Should we nip this in the bud? Let me know.
Well, Ali, transfer. Operative phrase is you don't like the man.
So it sounds to me that you're hooking up with him because you maybe had a little bit of alcohol. Yeah.
The alcohol. And you're making not great decisions.
You said that when you see him in the daylight at your job that you don't like him. So I would trust yourself and not go on a date with him and not drink around him.
Because apparently you cannot control yourself when you're on the alcohol. And just let it go, honey.
The babies are watching. What are you doing? Yeah.
That's my advice. She's a teacher.
As you said at the beginning, Yvette, we do our work and we go home. Stop going to the office holiday parties.
Stop going bins drinking with the gym teacher.

Go home.

Read a book.

Do some Legos.

Okay?

Stop making out with other teachers.

What are you, nuts?

Ew.

I just feel like you don't eat where you eat.

What do you say?

You don't shit where you eat.

There you go.

That one.

It's like if Josh and I started making out.

That would be weird.

That would be so weird.

Well, we wouldn't do it for free. Which is why you should subscribe to our Patreon.
But isn't there, haven't there, and I know everyone's different, but there have been cases, or at least so I've heard, I've never been involved in anything like this, where people are like, I hate them, but I'm attracted to them. Or I like hooking, or like they're, I like hooking up with them, but like, I wouldn't introduce them to my mom.
Well, she didn't sound like she even liked hooking up with them because she said in the moment it's fine within the next day. So she's feeling guilt.
Like it'd be different if she's like, he's not my dude, but we have fun. And then I see him at school and we kind of wink at each other, whatever.
She doesn't seem like she likes him. It seems like the hooking up is something that happens,

not something that she wants to do.

And she didn't say, I hate him.

She said, I don't like him.

And that's different.

The love-hate thing, like you can,

sometimes hate is that powerful,

like, ah, I can't stand you,

but come here and give me a kiss.

Yeah.

Not liking someone is different.

When you don't like someone, you don't like them.

True that.

Agreed.

True that. Yuck.
Well, we have another one from anonymous oh i love anonymous i'm gonna know your voice my husband eats too much and i don't know what to tell him to get him to stop eating so much he's eating like all day long he eats very large portions not healthy foods he does not care about like healthy. He doesn't care about what he eats.
He just is eating too much, and I can see a substantial amount of weight gain on him. He's not a big guy.
He's kind of short. So if he gains any weight, it looks really silly, and it's all in the belly.
And I'm on my health and fitness journey. I just lost a very large amount of weight and I'm working out and I'm trying to eat better.
And I'm just trying to get him on the ball with eating right. And every time I bring up anything about food or his weight, he gets really offended and asks if I'm calling him fat.
So what do you suggest that I do to try to get him more motivated to eat better, eat clean, and just lose some weight? Like I think he could stand to lose like 20 pounds, but if I even mention it, he gets offended. Any help is appreciated.
Thank you. Don't air it out on the biggest podcast in the world.
I can't believe Paige would call in like that. That is – I was going to make that joke, and I was like, that's not nice.
So just feel good about yourself. By the way, it's very simple.
While he's sleeping, inject him with Ozempic. You know, I think that was horrible.
You know, first of all, I think the bigger issue should be if she loves him, figuring out why he's eating. Most people that are overeating are overeating for a reason.
They're stressed, they're scared, they're sad. And maybe he's not happy in his marriage and that's why he's overeating the way he is.
I don't think that there's, if you're in a relationship with someone and you see your partner making good changes for themselves and you're happy for them, you naturally do kind of fall in line. Okay, well, let's eat salads today, babe.
So the fact that she's doing all this great stuff for herself, as she put it, and he's not joining, then there might be something she's saying or doing while she's making her changes that are making him feel less great. And he's now eating his emotions.
I think she's attacking this completely the wrong way. And if it's a health issue, she can go to her husband and go, babe, I'm concerned that, you know, you might get diabetes or high blood pressure or whatever.
But I'm telling you this, if he goes to the doctor and he's totally healthy, she needs to lay up off of him and leave him alone. I don't think this is going to go well for them if she keeps berating him about it.
That's my two cents. You give amazing advice.
Do I? Thank you. Like amazing.
Amazing. I totally agree.
And it's not nice. And all I just have to say, if the roles were reversed and this was a guy- She would hate it.
Saying that his girlfriend needed to lose 20 pounds and she was looking big and he's like, we would be destroying him. Absolutely.
Destroying. Absolutely.
So yeah, he's probably, it sounds like she was also rather husky with him. And then she made a bit of a drastic change.
And now she's mightier than God because like she's got it. But like, give him time.
Absolutely. Give him time.
I agree. There's nothing worse than like someone who was overweight, who's losing weight.
Now they're an expert or someone that was single their whole life. Then they get a married or a boyfriend.
Now they won't tell everybody. Well, this is just sit down and let it breathe.
Let it breathe. I hate it.
I hate it. And no, if, and if I didn't ask for your opinion, your love advice or your weight advice, let me live my life.
And again, if she loves him and he's unhealthy, she can, that's the way you would talk to baby. I'm concerned about your health, but just, you don't look good.
You're short. And now you got this weight on you and you need to lose 20 pounds.
I'm thinking that she's thinking, cause I look good and I'm going out in the world. I need, I need something that looks good next to me.
I just don't like her. I didn't like her attitude.
I didn't like it. It's attraction rather than promotion.
Right? Think about that. Absolutely.
Very good. Well, we have one final segment called what are you nuts? Okay.
Where we basically week, we come up with our gripes with people, places, and things.

Okay.

Whatever's currently sticking in your craw, big or small, no wrong answer.

We'll give you time to think about it. I'll have to think about it.

Oh, good.

But before we get to that, we do have a segment when we have a fellow thespian on the show.

Is the thespian in the room?

Because I feel like such a hack when it comes to acting.

But go on.

Yvette.

I'm serious.

I'm not going to allow you to be not nice to you.

Thank you. Watch the way you talk to my friend.
Okay. Okay.
And sometimes we do a short acting scene. Oh, no.
Perhaps a scene from a great movie. Okay.
Play. Okay.
Maybe even a TV show. A TV show.
I see where this is going. Maybe a TV show from the mid-aughts.
I know where this is going. Maybe a TV show with the- We were both on.
Yeah. Yep.
That one. We're going to do a scene from Drake and Josh.
Let's do it. Let's do it.
Let's do it. Woo! Yep.
Ben, I'm not getting you a Christmas gift this year. And Olivia, you either.
Okay? This is in Get Us One's last year, so what's different? Let's do. This is as close as anyone's ever going to get.
Here you go. Thank you.
This is from the Paramount episode of Helen Get Surgery. We have an eye surgery.
Okay. A touchstone episode for some their favorite.
Ben, when when i say you go because i didn't send you this here wait i'm gonna ben i'm gonna send you a picture of because you're gonna play the man you have two lines okay so just follow along oh god this is do you remember are you gonna remember this because okay i'm trying to remember i need oh i'm off book oh you're a book oh excuse me I never forgot it I do this completely off book you're like dog it's been 19 years okay move on I do remember how I did one line on here already wow oh my gosh this is this is crazy this feels I feel like I'm are you nervous I'm I feel like I'm on a micro dose right now let's go Ben are you ready? Yes I'm ready Just follow along It's only two pages And it's on the first page Your line So okay It'll come Ready? Wait let's get Should we give some backstory? Sure I'm working at the premiere Yes Helen has just had a surgery On her eyes Laser eye surgery We assume you're gonna be Gone for days Yep And She shows up with patches on her eyes laser eyes you're gonna be gone for days and she shows up with patches on her eyes you ready yeah i'm back oh jeez helen what do you i sound the same what are you doing here you just had laser eye surgery an hour and a half ago that's right i had I had my surgery, dropped off my dry cleaner, and stopped off for a fish taco, and here I am! Hey! Hey! Shouldn't you be home? You can't see. I see you getting on my nerves.
That's what I see. I dropped my soda.
Can I get another one, please? Yeah, I'll get it. No, I'll get it.
Oh, oh, stop. Oh, man.
That'll be... Helen, you just colded that man in the face.
Oh, well, I guess maybe I should go home for a while and get my rest on. You mean that I get to be assistant manager the rest of the day? Oh, you're going to manage, all right.
You're going to manage me. Huh? You're going to help me get me situated back at my condo.
Now, here's the keys to my Buick. Let's go.
You drove here when you couldn't see? Yeah, not my best idea. Come on.
mean, come on Do you remember? Wow I missed one line though When I said that'd be 375 Or whatever it was Incredible Wow You haven't lost a step Well, I remember her well I mean Now, how was I? You were great Do you remember? I sprayed the guy in the face with the... Yeah, with the fountain.
Yeah, with the fountain drink. Excellent.
Oof. Wow.
Listen, I don't do that for everybody. I'll do it for you.
Wow. This...
We're honored. This was an honor.
I feel like a make-a-wish kid. So, Ben, do you want to start with your...
What do you not? Should I have one, too? Yeah, no, I can go. I've been on a bit of a diner kick.
Yvette, I live in New York. We are supposed to have the best diners in the city.
They're honestly few and far between these days. I go, I try out a new diner.
I try out a new diner. I order eggs and potatoes.
It's a very safe order. An omelet, some side of breakfast potatoes.
I go to take a bite of these potatoes. Oh my God, I almost passed out.
So unbelievably sour, awful.

Quickly, I glance, I glance around the diner.

I'm like, who else has eggs and potatoes?

I look, all the potatoes are sitting on the woman's plate to my left.

All the potatoes sitting to the right.

I get home, I'm throwing up nonstop.

I got food poisoning from fucking breakfast potatoes.

So I'm here to tell people, okay, okay.

If it smells rancid, don't eat it. You should know that already.
But breakfast potatoes, watch out, watch out. You think that potatoes can't go bad? Maybe they can.
What are you, nuts? Serve me good potatoes. So wait, so tell me this.
So you're saying you look to the left and the right. They, these people had potatoes that were just sitting there.
What's the deal? They had, they had potatoes. They had ordered eggs and potatoes.
They finished their eggs. They didn't touch their potatoes.
Which means their potatoes were also rancid. They were also rancid.
And you ate them. I had one bite.
One singular bite. One bite made you sick? And it sent me over the edge.
Ooh. Wow.
That's a bad potato. Awful.
That's wild. But you know what I don't like? I don't like this.
And you see this at Waffle House. You see this at places where they got the big surface and the thing with the short orders.
Like, what am I, in the 50s? I don't want to watch you flip eggs. They had the big surface, Josh.
And they had the fucking potatoes pile, pile, just sitting there. They've been there all day.
All day. They were there all weekend.
Yep. Oh, it's gross.
Disgusting. And another what are you nuts? If you're going to let me see into your kitchen, clean up.
Clean your kitchen. Clean up.
Otherwise, you can put up a wall. I don't need to see.
Not everything needs to be like Benihana. But if you're going to let me look, it better be clean.
You better say it. Disgusting.
Disgusting. Say it, Ben.
Nuts. I once had food poisoning so badly that I had to call my buddy Len.

This was not a good moment for me.

And I was in my underwear shaking on the bathroom floor.

That's bad food poisoning.

I was convulsing and he came.

And it was like, I don't know, midnight.

And I was like, you sleep over?

And we shared a bed. Oh, because you didn't want to be alone.
I didn't want to be alone. In case you died.
over? And we shared a bed.

Oh, because you didn't want to be alone.

I didn't want to be alone.

In case you died.

You was about to find a body.

Yes.

That said, what is better than being a fat person and having food poisoning?

You lose the couple of pounds.

You lose a lot of weight.

It's fantastic.

I know.

Three pounds, Josh.

Three.

Three?

Good for you.

Worth every throw up. So my What Are You nuts is uh dog size okay okay the size of a dog or the size of a dog the size of a dog okay you want a little cutie little teacup fine not for me fine yeah i like like a maltese like i don't like anything under five pounds okay crazy it's all bones.
But like you got something five to 20 pounds. Five to 20 pounds.
Great. Beautiful.
Little Maltese. You know, and then you go bigger, you know, classic, a Labrador retriever, chocolate lab.
Beautiful. Even I'm a pit bull guy.
I like playing 305 and worldwide and the dog. I like all pit bulls, right? My issue is with 100 plus pound, massive.
What are you doing? Dude, there are these dogs that walk around my neighborhood. They're as tall as the owners.
They're mini dinosaurs. And look, I'm Turner from Turner and Hooch, as we know.
No one watched it, but I liked it. it i'm even cool with a hooch but those are a proper sized dog when you get into like these gigantic greyhounds that are massive what are you nuts it's too big of a dog this is true what are you trying to prove especially they have them in manhattan they stick them in these apartments no what are you doing to the dog no No.
Let the dog, those dogs belong on a hundred acres.

Yeah.

Yes.

That's it.

Outside.

They belong.

If you can't have a horse

in your apartment,

you can't have a dog

the size of a horse

in your apartment.

Okay?

Yes.

Okay.

I agree.

I agree.

I agree.

Yvette,

what do you got?

Okay.

This is going to get

a little serious.

Elections and people

not voting.

It is driving me crazy.

Well,

we're anti-voting here. I just want to say that.
I will. I and this entire studio over.
Let me tell you something. This is the way I look at it.
I just went canvassing this weekend. Everybody knows who I'm voting for.
And I said, you know, you remember the movie Deep Impact or Armageddon with the comet or whatever is coming, the meteor or the asteroid is coming to destroy. I feel like there's a big orange asteroid coming right for this country, careening towards us.
And everyone has seen it coming and everyone has been warning that it's coming. We know what the impact will do.
It will be an ELE event. And somehow there's still people going, I don't know.
I don't get down in it. I don't want to hear your reasons why you have not registered and vote.
You have got to vote. This is not the election to be a one issue voter.
Anything that you are upset about, I don't care what it is. You get the right person in and they will fight for the thing that you're upset about.
Voted up. People got to register to vote.
They have to. They have to.
And they have to show up and do it. It's something that people fight for the right for us to do.
And I'm dying for the right. And not voting is a huge problem.
I was in a thrift store in New York and I found a jar of buttons and it was in the sewing notion section. And it made me remember that my people, my black people used to have to count jelly beans and marbles for the right to vote.
They used to have to pay to vote. There was a poll tax that black people had to pay $3, which is equivalent to $30 today.
And $3 would be someone's, how they would feed their family for that week.

And some people would pay it

because they knew how important it was to vote.

And we get to vote for free.

And we're not doing it.

We have got to, we've got to vote.

We've got to vote.

Well, look, I think Yvette,

you and I are going to vote the same.

Ben's a Green Party guy.

So I think he's going to vote for,

he's going to do a write-in.

And I don't believe, you know what? God bless him for that. I do not until they are viable then I'll come to New York and feed you a sour potato don't you dare vote for the Green Party this year don't do it we are all on the same page same page baby as you both said it is a gift and a privilege is the opportunity to vote and everyone has to do it absolutely definitely could i love you more could i love you more what a wonderful one of the great gifts from the show that we was meeting you yeah i feel the same i feel the same our love is always endured it's never it's never waned take us home ben folks five stars otherwise what are you nuts this has been a dream yvette you are the best listen to us on spotify apple wherever you get your podcast watch us on josh's youtube watch us and then listen to us double the views why not we're fantastic share our clips instagram tiktok mondays and, folks.
We'll see you next time. Nicely done.
Love you. Love you too.
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