German Sodas, Hangover Cures, and Asphyxiating on Pastrami?!

Location, The Lab. Quinton only has 24 hours to sell his car.
Is that even possible?

He goes to Carvana.com.

What is this? A movie trailer?

He ignores the doubters, enters his license plate. Wow, that's a great offer.

The car is sold, but will Carvana pick it up in time for...

They'll literally pick it up tomorrow morning. Done with the dramatics?

Car selling in record time. Save your time.
Go to Carvana.com and sell your car today. Pick up fees may apply.
The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck.
And I'm Ben Soffer. And we're the good guys.
There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones.
Mazel morons. Welcome back to the good guys podcast.
I'm sitting here with the only man who looks good in bangs. It's Ben Soffer.
By the way, I do look good in bangs. Have you seen, have you seen old photos of me? I know it's, I miss it.
Yeah. I need it back.
I love your shirts for those that are still only listening to audio. Like, do you understand what you're missing? Josh is wearing like the most gorgeous shirt i've ever seen like this is like versace men versace men's meets like indian chief like it's there you go ralph loran ralph loran ralph loran ralph loran ralph loran joshy happy new year what's going on shana tova happy new year For any of you Gentiles listening, the Jewish New Year is upon us, happy new year.
What's going on? Shana Tova. Happy new year.

For any of you Gentiles listening, the Jewish new year is upon us.

So strap in.

We're getting ready to change the weather.

And you might as well just like celebrate it because like you can't have too many new

years.

Like all that a new year does is lets you reflect, wipe a slate clean, feel good about

the next year.

You can't have too many new years, can you? I'll do the Chinese New Year. When's the Chinese New Year? March.
I'm in. The Jewish New Year where we watch the matzo ball drop.
Hey-oh! So dumb. So what's the thing? So we do the apples with honey to bring about a sweet New Year.
What else are the traditions? We like to welcome in a new fruit. So ideally a fruit that you've never had, that you've never seen, which at this point is pretty tough.
But I have at my dinner table, I bought dragon fruit in case somebody hasn't seen a dragon fruit, which by the way, tastes like ass. Doesn't it taste like nothing? Yes.
But that to me in fruit terms is ass. Like I want to, like this, this is a beautiful fruit.
This is like a magenta, electric pink, sick inside. And then it tastes like nothing.
It's like, what are you nuts? Dragon fruit, honestly, is a what are you nuts? I also bought a passion fruit. Have you ever had a passion fruit? I've only had like passion fruit flavored things.
I've never had a passion fruit. I'm wild about passion fruit or as the Israelis call it, passifrota.
But I will say though, the dragon fruit, it's kind of like the hot girl of fruits, right? Because it's like stunning on the outside, but on the inside, there's nothing there. Sorry, not all hot girls.
Nothing there. Sorry.
Most. Most.
And hot guys. Hot guys, too.
Let's not gender it. No, just girls.
Nothing there. Nothing there.
So I entered, I brought in some new fruits to symbolize that you should try new things in the new year, Josh, that this year should be about exploration. You should explore your mind by starting with a symbolic fruit.
Yes. What else

do you do on Rosh Hashanah? You eat a nice brisket. Eat.
Tonight I'm also, because my dad is coming over and he is a very, very popularly a pescatarian, I'm making him a halibut in a salsa verde. Yum.
Delish. Got some soups, some matzo ball soup, some butternut squash soup.
I bought lamb chops. You ever make lamb chops at home? Never.
Not once in my whole life. Fucking sick.
I bet. Lamb chops are delicious.
It's a baby. It's a baby sheep.
Yeah. Well, you had to do that, didn't you? No, lamb chops.
By the way, that is, that is, that is our, how about now? It's a baby sheep. You didn't have to tell me that.
Go introduce our new segment. We're just testing it.
Like we're always thinking like, how do we create newness for you all in this new year? And a new segment that we're thinking about because everybody loves Josh's, how about now where he puts guacamole on the end of a tortilla chip and then eats the other side of the tortilla and never ends up eating the guacamole is a new segment called, how about now? You were having a great day. How about now? So yeah, I was having a great day talking about the joy of eating lamb chops and Josh had to go and ruin it for me by reminding me that I'm eating a baby lamb.
How about now? How about now? I have another one for you. You having a good day? Yeah.
Did you know that octopuses don't actually have tentacles, but those eight limbs are arms. Enjoy your grilled octopus arms, you pieces of shit.
How about now? Wow. This segment's going to ruin my day.
I guess that's the goal, right? Yeah. I don't need octopus because I watched my octopus teacher and I always hear about octopi, octopuses, octopuses escaping.
I think it's octopi escaping captivity. When they're caught on a boat, they'll just slither through like the tiniest hole.
They shape shift. These guys are geniuses.
The Jews of the sea. Oh my God.
They're the Jews of the sea. That's good.
That's good. So yeah, I'm not eating them, but you eat them, right? You're a big, you're a big puss eater.
They're delish. Me and Jake Shane, we are fans.
You guys love puss. Ah, it's so good, man.
Grilled like Spanish style or Mediterranean. Gorgeous on a Greek menu.
What I will say, because I've of course had calamari in my life. Thinking back on it, it's actually a terrible waste of octopus.
Because frying it, you might as well fry something that's like less delicious grilled. Right? You know? Like can't you put like something else in a ring? Like an onion ring? I know they're not exactly the same, but like you could probably find a similar consistency to the puss and fry it and it not be like, I don't know, frying like a genius.
I don't mean to be basic, but how good are onion rings? Insane. Insane.
And like, I, I recall the happiest times of my life. We're sitting in a New York city diner in my youth.
I would order maybe a tuna sandwich, maybe a grilled cheese with a side of fries. And once in a while, Josh, once in a while, a rogue onion ring would just show up, right? I didn't order it.
It would just pop up in my fries. And that was the treat of all treats.

That extra onion ring made my day.

That's what happens at Burger King because it's one of the few fast food restaurants

that has an onion ring offering.

And sometimes things get left over in the fryer and Dan the fry guy blesses you with

a couple O-rings.

They're absolutely stupendous.

Stupendous. Except when you go to a place and they're like cheap bastards and the onion's too thin.
I need to be able to taste the onion. Although I love a shoe string, like an onion string in a bushel, in a hay bale of onion ring.
And let me tell you, you know what people aren't doing? If you go to more of like a little bit of a higher end onion ring restaurant, they'll give you like a spicy aioli with like a little horseradish, little button, little after note, little top note horseradish, but it's like a creamy aioli. It's gorge.
Not to transition too hard, but you just mentioned horseradish. All I have to say is we're sleeping on horseradish sauce.
I've been done saying that. Horseradish sauce on steak.
That's it. Yeah, dude.
That's it. That's it.
That creamy horseradish sauce or even the best sauces are horseradish base cocktail sauce. But I feel like horseradish gets no love as a vegetable.
Nobody's going to Whole Foods and buying a horseradish. People aren't doing horseradish.
Miss me on that purple horseradish. I'm a creamy horseradish fan.
I'm a real just like straight up great that shit fan. But horseradish is like real wasabi, right? Like if you jump in and you really do it, it'll knock your socks off.
And it's more, than the artificial store-bought kind. Which is the same with regular wasabi.
That's right. Regular wasabi.
If you have just the plant and you sort of grind it yourself on that cool little grinder and you eat it, you're not crying. That's right.
It's a little bit of sinus relief. But if you eat a whole ball of just like fake wasabi,

or similarly, if you take a spoon of that like Jewish purple horseradish

meant for gefilte fish, you are in another world, in another world.

Steam coming out your nose, coming out your eyes.

Yeah, so horseradish underrated.

Let me tell you this, as a fish man, as the great Bruce Bruce offer is, and people are sleeping on this and it's delish. You can add this beautiful sauce to any fish, a salmon, a white fish, whatever.
And it is healthy, healthy. You get a little faye, a little plain Greek yogurt.
You give it a shot of Dijon mustard in there. That's it.
You've now made a healthy aioli with protein in it, not a high fat content. You throw that on your salmon.
It's like it's a present. I love it.
Sounds delish. I'm in.
Easy. Easy.
I know. And look, if you want to go crazy, maybe add a little squeeze of lemon and some parsley.
Great. We know you're big on the herbs.
I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Robin Hood Gold. With Robin Hood Gold, you don't need a silver spoon to eat up the financial favors of the 1%.
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Gold membership is offered by Robinhood Gold LLC. Before we move on from food, because you brought it up, they're selling too many herbs at once.
Stop it. This is the third time you've talked about it.
We've got a speak about it you talk about it they are it's a they're selling too many either you are obsessed or your memory doesn't work either way i'm worried about you i'm obsessed i don't need i don't need a town's worth of dill i need a little dill i need a little dill and then i went online and i googled it josh what do i do with all the extra d it. I'm supposed to freeze my herbs? You know what I look like? No.
At Trader Joe's, they have ice, pre-made ice cubes of garlic and or ginger. You pop a couple of those, throw that in your stir fry, bong.
That's actually a very interesting, I've never seen that. That's pretty fantastic.
Because garlic's another problem. I'm buying the pre-peeled garlic.
I don't have time to break down garlic. They give you too many cloves.
By the time you're done with a quarter of the cloves, three quarters of those cloves are completely rotten. It's so true.
It's so true. And you know what? You buy those pre-peeled garlic, you forget it's in your fridge for a couple of days.
You open that thing. It's a Mike Tyson punch to your olfactory system.
They're josh they're furry they look like sully for monsters inc and the whole thing stinks i had to buy a smell diffuser a carbon smell diffuser from amazon for your fridge for my fridge because the arm and hammer the baking soda didn't work yeah no i think you just got to be more diligent and throwing things away. Your fridge shouldn't smell.
No, but it was the garlic.

I understand. it was the garlic i understand was the garlic open no but it just like it was like three days through the it seeped through the case three days it seeped through that plastic that you're such a fan of and it just hit me with such a waft and then it had a garlic smell my fridge for like three four days so That's nasty.
It's nasty. Have you ever taken activated carbon after a tough night of drinking? No, no, I haven't.
Tell me. Tell me more about it.
It diffuses, they say, toxins in your stomach. I mean, obviously there's a medical application to it because if they pump your stomach, they will put in activated charcoal to sort of neutralize.
And it basically activated charcoal will or carbon will like, which is charcoal, which it'll absorb kind of any toxin poison in your stomach. So they say it can be helpful.
I don't know. I've taken it after food poisoning.
I think a slice of pizza does the trick, right? Like true. It absorbs the alcohol.
Yeah. I wonder what the true like everybody says, oh, have a piece of bread.
It'll soak up the alcohol as if the bread is like, as if the alcohol is like a soup where you're dipping in the bread. I wonder if that's real, like eating, eating some bread, eating a piece of pizza.
Does it really absorb the alcohol or is that just a, a wives tale of sorts? It's just like taking medicine on an empty stomach. Like you should take some things with food because it's a slower absorption.
But what was I going to say? Yeah, it's an interesting thing for you two, you know, kids who still dabble in the drinking and drugs. I punch my ticket and I can no longer participate.
But what's your hangover sort of cure recipe? Because as we both No, as we all know, the only true hangover cure is a beer. Or a spritz.

Exactly. Hair of the dog.
Hair of the dog. The truth is we drink so little hard alcohol now because at this point, like I had an engagement party in a wedding last weekend.
I think my body is still recovering. Like I just like the hangovers are much worse.
And like now the night needs to be so fun to outweigh the way that my body physically feels afterwards from drinking hard alcohol. So, but if I am drinking hard alcohol, I love a martini.
How are you recovering from a hangover? I'm drinking a ton of water. I'm drinking element, our beautiful electrolyte sponsor, because it really works.
Rebalancing, maybe some coconut water. And then I'm eating until I puke.
I'm eating, I'm ordering multiple bagels in the morning. Like that's what gets me through.
Well, Olivia. I feel like for me, I typically go for like some kind of, I delve into carbs.
That's really what I'm'm doing. If it's like hash browns and like maybe a little bacon, sometimes that can get me kind of queasy, though, honestly, like a cracker.
What's your cracker of choice? A club? A Ritz? Oh, a saltine, a saltine when I'm really down bad. But to be honest with you, nothing tops just a rolled gold pretzel for me.
That is like my carb of choice anytime, anywhere. Claudia too.
Claudia is a big pretzel girl. I personally, I don't like bagged pretzels at all.
I like the Snyders covered in like honey mustard or in that like buffalo sauce. Like those Snyders flavors, interested.
Flavorless. I don't like it.
I do of course, like a hot pretzel with like a nice cheese dipping sauce or a mustard. Like I'm not crazy, but like, I don't think that the hard pretzels in the bag are a good snack.
I'm out on them. What about the Snyder's, the beefy hard pretzels there? They come in a box.
They look like they were made by a Bavarian, you know, farmhand. Not for me.
Not for me, Josh. It's not my snack of choice.
It's not. As a pretzel enthusiast, I'm not real big on the rods either.
I think that a good pretzel has everything to do with the ratio of salt to like how thin and the crunch. You know what I'm saying? Sure.
That actually brings up a good point. What's that thin pretzel company? Oh, the pretzel crisps.
The pretzel crisps, I like. All right.
I don't love, but I like. Josh, when you were nursing a hangover, what were you doing? Cocaine.
No. Look, as a professional, as a recovered alcoholic, I've heard all the things.
things from what i can tell real pro drinkers you just drink when you wake up and that's how you get over the hangover because it neutralizes it but that sets sets about a cycle of pain yeah by the way you can never be hung over if you're always drunk word up word to your mother i i guess I guess that's true. Anthony Bourdain had the famous quote where he said, the best way to get over a hangover is a cold Coca-Cola, an aspirin, a joint, and spicy Cetron food.
And I think that sounds like an amazing remedy. Sounds delicious to me.
I would only replace the Diet Coke with a ginger ale. No, a Coke, a regular Coke.
Oh God, what are you nuts? A regular Coke. But people do that.
Like my wife, when she was pregnant and helped settle her stomach. A ginger ale would have done it better.
Regular Coke. Well, ginger is a anti-nausea natural remedy.
Exactly. And I'm sure that there's no real ginger in Seagram's.
God, ginger ale is so delish. Unbelievable.
It's my soda of choice. I'm sure I've spoken about it before.
Everybody just go fuck yourselves, okay? Look, there are just, there are few things to be true. Ginger ale is amazing and they are putting far too many herbs in one, one dose of herbs to sell.

Ginger ale.

I don't care, Josh, if it's a fever tree,

if it's a seagrams, if it's a Canada dry.

I love the whole spectrum from really gingery to really sugary diet,

not diet obsessed.

But are you a Moscow mule prince?

I like them.

I don't appreciate the cup. Okay.
Like it's enough. The copper cup.
I don't need that. I don't appreciate the cup okay like the copper cup i don't need that i don't need that i don't need to feel like i don't need to feel like putin for the day okay i don't want it not i don't want it just give it to me in a regular glass you have you ever been to a proper like russian wedding or russian birthday no because you mentioned put.
So I grew up with Russians. Shout out my buddy Len.
Ren, Ben, Ellie like, ends. My boy Len, Lyonia, Lyonid is Russian.
And so we grew up with all Russians in North Hollywood, California. And so I went to a lot of Russian parties.
And basically this is the setup. You go to a Russian banquet hall or an Armenian one, it kind of overlaps.
And on the table are like, as you walk up are 20 hors d'oeuvres, right? And it's like smokefish, caviar, bellinis, Russian bread. That's every Russian uncle, OG Russian uncle I've ever met has been proud of the Russian bread.
And it's always like dark bread. They're like, you like the Russian bread? And I'd be like, Kostya, it's fucking pumpernickel.
This is not blowing my balls off. Okay.
I've had pumpernickel, my G. But it's that, right? And then in the middle of the table is a huge bottle of vodka and a huge bottle of usually cognac.

And then everyone's just pouring their own shots. And then there's the mixers, which is like a bottle, a liter plastic bottle of Coke and a liter plastic bottle of Sprite.
And so you're chugging back vodka shots, you're drinking the Cokes, you're drinking the Sprites and people get just blitz and then the next round that comes is the hot food items and this is billy many which is usually like a russian dumpling fucking wow wow and and they put like a little vinegar sour cream in there crazy smokes oh it's so good and then they'll do like beef stroganoff, like fries. And it's so good.
Russian dressing. Let's talk about that, okay? Is that American or is that Russian? I don't know, but is it just Thousand Island? It's Thousand Island, but without any of the unnecessary crap.
Russian is ketchup and mayo, flat. There's no relish in it? Zero.
Interesting. Zero.
Get that green shit out of my teeth. Just straight mayo, ketchup.
Usually one to two, mayo to, sorry, two to one, mayo to ketchup. So it's that light, gorgeous pink.
Gross. I'm just saying.
I don't know where it came from. I'm sure some fat Jew in New York called it Russian dressing.
Like it has nothing to do with Russia. I wonder what the etymology is of Russian dressing.
Should we look it up? It hails from Nashua, New Hampshire. So, checks out.
Thank you. Yeah, but probably not a fat Jew if it's New Hampshire.
James E. Colburn.
Colburn. James.
Yeah. No.
No. Not a lot of Jewish.
His friends probably called him Jim. Yeah, that's not a Jewish person.
But why do you say no Jews in New Hampshire? Who is in New Hampshire? Live free or die? No idea. No clue.
Adam Sandler, Sarah Silverman are from there. They are? Yeah.
So they're Jews in New Hampshire. But like.
Look at that.

Learn something new every day.

But like it's the Iowa caucus.

But then is it?

But like New Hampshire, they always say is like a big sort of foreshadow of like who

the president's going to be because it's like a super northeastern state, which you

would think totally leans left.

But they're actually like ultra center and at any given time could be more right or left. Sounds like we got to go.
A place, a fascinating place that we must explore. Our first live show, New Hampshire.
Oh, I would love it. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Quinn's.
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You know, straying away from politics, but I'm interested to hear about, you know, last night was the vice presidential debate and I hit up my buddy who's we love talking politics because he was a writer for for Biden when Biden was vice president. And I said, did you watch the debate? And he goes, no.
And I said, how come? He said, because it's meaningless. So I don't want to put myself through the emotions.
It is right. A vice presidential debates meaningless.
Yeah, I think that. Yes, I think so.
I think so. Right.
Like they they pulled that quote. What quote did they pull about how Tim Waltz said that he's friends with school shooters? That's about all that I took away from it.
Which I'm sure he didn't say or didn't mean. But it's just like people pulling headlines and trying to sway public opinion.
But yeah, I don't. Considering they actually, each of them has zero power.
Like the VP doesn't decide anything. Like it actually does seem like a pretty innocuous debate to me.
And one that I too did not watch. Do you guys think, and you know, we're all, Olivia is obviously our wonderful Gen Z correspondent.
You know, we run the gamut. We're all like, you know, I'm at the top.
And then, you know, we're all kind of within the same last 10 years of being whatever. What I'm saying is, do you find that, is it just because we're getting older that people talk about politics nonstop? Is it the current political environment? Like, was it always this way? We were just younger? I can't say for sure, but I definitely think that we're in a heightened time in history for information because of social, where we just have more access to information than we've ever had before.
Like I was talking to Taylor, the toast assistant before, we were just talking about Israel and about Iran. And just the sheer fact that we're getting updates like this is a basketball game.
Right. Like we're getting live ticker updates on a war, which is why we feel so consumed by it when in reality, the Russia-Ukraine war has been happening for longer.
And we don't get a live daily update because it's not what I guess the current media wants to talk about. I don't know what it is.
But for, I can be certain that 50 years ago, 100 years ago, people were not getting updates like this

because they didn't have the technology to be able to do it every single day.

We're getting an update on a war that is happening thousands of miles away.

It's crazy.

Right.

So I think that that just applies to everything.

I think that we're talking more about everything because we're getting constant updates on

everything when we used

to just have to turn on the nightly news to get one dose of everything.

Well, speaking of important news, did you know there's a woman named Marijuana Pepsi

and she was born with that name, but she doesn't smoke weed or drink soda and she'll never

change her name.

The New York Post reports a woman called Marijuana Pepsii van dyke 52 was given her name by her mom who said the name would take her around the world due to its originality if the world is the tri-state area no i'm kidding cut that out olivia cut that out jesus christ growing up marijuana said she would be questioned on the moniker and whispered about. And people assumed her mother took drugs or was in prison, which is untrue.
Yikes. Way to jump to conclusions.
Marijuana has a PhD in higher educational leadership, works at Community College of Baltimore County, and is a founder of Action as Empowerment Center for Change. She's always been asked why she hasn't changed her name or been told that she should change it.
She's not a fan of Pepsi and never smoked weed, although she gets approached by marijuana companies all the time asking to work with her. Wow.
I'm calling bullshit on all of it. Okay.

Your name is Marijuana Pepsi.

You've never smoked weed.

You don't like Pepsi,

but you didn't change your name.

And you're a teacher.

Shut up.

Okay.

Shut up.

Like liar.

Okay.

You don't think so?

I don't know.

I mean,

my birth name was Fentanyl Fanta,

but you know.

And I've never tried either of those.

You know what I do for an ice cold Fanta?

And by the way, I say Fanta.

Okay.

Tell me.

I'm just saying Fanta is, it's not Fanta.

Don't you remember the commercials, Josh?

Wanna, wanna, don't you wanna, wanna Fanta?

Don't you wanna Fanta?

It's Italian, right?

Definitely not.

I think so.

I think it's Mexican.

Oh, yeah.

I think we talked about this.

No way.

If it's not, it shouldn't be.

If we have spoken about this, then I have brain damage.

Well, I don't ever recall us talking about Fanta.

I think we did.

Damn it.

Pretty sure we did.

Let's see.

Origins of Fanta. F think we did.
Damn it. Pretty sure we did.
Let's see. Origins of Fanta.
Fanta

is...

Oh! Oh! Oh my god.

Oh my god. It's Norwegian.

Okay, no, no, no, Josh. Josh.

This is the ultimate...

What is the name of our new segment?

How about now? How about now?

How about now? You were having a good day? Yeah.

Okay, how about now? Fanta you were having a good day yeah okay how about now Fanta was

created in Nazi Germany no in 1941 as an alternative to Coca-Cola due to a trade embargo that prevented the German Coca-Cola bottling company from getting Coca-Cola syrup Fuck!

Oh my god.

Do you want to try a grapefanta, Unza?

Oh my God. Do you want to try a grapefanda, Unza? Oh my God.
Oh my God. And oh my God, get this.
And the color of the red soda comes from the blood of Jews. That is not true.
No, I added that part in. That hurts.
Oh my God, the way that, Olivia, I love that I heard your breathed pause first. And I was like, what could it be? Fanta was made in Nazi Germany? I'm gonna drive my BMW off a bridge.
Oh my god. That's it.
How has nobody ever told us this? Fanta. Dark origins.
One of the worst origins

ever. Unza, Gustav,

do you think we should try a strawberry

soda?

Damn it.

Take the edge off

of murder.

Nothing I like to do to unwind

at the end of the day is have a soda after

my time in the camps.

It's fucking dark, brother. You have to laugh at these things.
You have to. That's fucking dark.
That was, I'm stunned. I'm stunned.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Wow. In other news,

man chops up his own penis and stores several parts

in a jar of snow

after eating magic mushrooms.

A man in Austria

reportedly amputated

his own penis with an ax

after ingesting a heavy dose

of psychedelic mushrooms. Hell yeah.
Fortunately, doctors in Austria were able to reattach the severed organ. The patient's shocking story is the first of its kind.
What are you, nuts? Wow. Where was this shaman, Josh? I don't know, man, but I just like never in my darkest of days have I ever looked down at my, as Joey Comaster would say, my

Pishka deal and said, you got to go.

I actually think, like, not to be conspiracy theorists, this sounds like somebody that's

never taken mushrooms writing the story.

Yeah.

I don't think that there's, like, it's that same type of story that we used to hear when

we were younger to, like, scare us away from psychedelics, that if you eat too much mushrooms, you're going to want to peel yourself like an orange. You ever hear that one? No.
That was like a classic, like just folklore. Like, no, I don't think people are taking mushrooms and chopping off their dicks.
Right. I mean, Chris DiStefano, our beloved Chris E.D., talked about how he had made sort of an abrupt decision.
He says it's because he wanted to live closer to a bagel shop that he could walk to, where he sold his beautiful home in Staten Island, moved his whole family to Queens, and basically said that they all regretted it and that he had an incredible interest rate on his loan and he had a pool and everything to move to an

apartment in Queens. And he realized that over that time, over like that three to six months

when they decided to move, him and his wife were micro dosing. And yes, he feels like maybe he was

thinking a little outside the box because of said micro dose. I definitely wouldn't recommend

taking drugs and moving. Right.
Shout out roadway movers. Love them.
Or taking drugs and

Thank you. because of said microdose.
I definitely wouldn't recommend taking drugs and moving. Right.
Shout out roadway movers. Love them.
Or taking drugs and doing anything other than laughing in a forest. Like certainly don't be anywhere near an axe.
Right. Or a realtor in this case.
All I know is the times where I have done medicinal mushrooms, it's been better when I was near a tree and worse when I tried to go to sleep because I remember once like an hour in, I was like, I'm done with this. I'm going to go to bed.
And you in a locked room or just a dark bedroom with your eyes shut, never, never going to fall asleep. Always going to see the worst things possible.
Absolutely. And it's funny, they now this you were taking mushrooms before the age of Netflix, but now they have plenty of shows for people that are on mushrooms.
Like those like fantastic fungi-esque shows. They're like shows like all these lights and colors and all this crap.
Like- Yeah, you were ahead of your time, Joshie. You were ahead of your time.
What can I say? Addiction, I was on the forefront. Should we get to a speak pipe? We should.
Yes. I was just about to ask.
If you want to ask us for some advice, if you want to ask us a question, keep it short. Brevity is key and go to speakpipe.com slash good guys.
And we will possibly put your question on the old podcast. Here's one from a wonderful person named Brittany.
Hey, good guys. Brittany here.
First of all, love your podcast.

Absolutely love your podcast. Here's one from a wonderful person named Brittany.
You just fend for yourself versus caring for other people and still putting others before yourself. As a type one diabetic, I need insulin to survive.
And my husband says that in that zombie apocalypse scenario, he would go to the pharmacy and take all of the vials of insulin so that I could survive. And I just feel like that's a little heartless that we should leave some in case other people also need to get some insulin and survive as they're fighting off the zombies.
Thanks so much. Can't wait to hear your thoughts.
Do people have conversations like this? They're clearly not really in love. Well, I'm so happy that you called in.
I think that you should switch up your dinner talk. It seems rather dark.
That said, I would say that in an end of the world scenario, you probably don't want to be the last person alive. Totally.
Like if you know for a fact the world is ending, you want to be with the masses. Definitely.
That's all. That's all.
So I wouldn't, I wouldn't suggest taking all of the insulin. I would suggest taking none of the insulin and just get a dozen Krispy Kreme and black out.
Yeah. Just go with God.
Go with God. Literally go to God, seek God, seek help.
I would want to put a needle full of heroin in my arm, but with the plunger not pushed in and then be mid coitus with my wife and right at climax, I push the plunger. Wow.
Okay. You've thought about this.
And then I take a bite of White Castle burger and expire. That's interesting.
How would I, my

last breath, Okay. You've thought about this.
And then I take a bite of a White Castle burger and expire.

That's interesting.

How would I, my last breath.

Oh, man.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I just feel like if the world was ending, I would get emotionally mugged, but it would turn into an actual mugging and I get stabbed.

Like, that's the end.

That's the end for me.

Can I borrow 20 bucks?

No, stab.

I would just shoot out a bunch of tweets of what I really think. It would be incredible.
As the rapture was coming, I'd be like, this is who I'm voting for. No, I'm kidding.
This next question from Anonymous. Hey, guys.
Lover of the podcast and obviously of the toast, too. That's how I find you guys.
But calling in for some advice. It's my first high holiday season that I'm spending with my girlfriend who's Jewish with her family.
And I not Jewish. We've been dating for two years.
Just like, give me some rundown. Give me some tips about what to expect.
Stuff like that. Love you guys.
Did she say I'm not a Jewish? She's not a Jewish and I could hear her turn signal being turned on in the background. Just wanted to check.
What you can expect is delicious food. You can expect a spirited debate.
You can expect delicious dessert. It's really just a ton of food.
It's a ton of food. This holiday in particular is easy.
It's easy. The meal is festive.
It's yummy. It's good.
There's no like fasting requirements. There's No, none of that.
Just a great meal. Probably there's usually some judgment at the table, some interesting conversations.
Like if you haven't met Jewish parents, then you're in for something special. And yeah, but I think it's wonderful that you are partaking, wishing you the best of luck.
I think it's just great that you're there and great that you're open and great that you care. I think my favorite thing, one of my turnups is rigidity, people that are unwilling to try new things.
And so I think it says so much when you have a new experience, especially if it's with someone you love and you say to them, listen, this is a part of who you are or this is something you're interested in. This is something you like and I like you.
And that's all I need to know. So let's see.
Just walking in with an open heart to have fun and try things and deal with, I'm sure, as an overbearing Jewish mother who's going to overfeed you. Have fun.
Jump in. Dive in.
It sounds a lot like, and this isn't an ad, but they are a sponsor of ours. It sounds a lot like eHarmony, Josh.
Find someone who gets you at eHarmony. Just saying.
Just saying. Send that to them, Olivia.
We need an extra check. Yeah.
No, I'm not allowed to say that anymore. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I know we can't talk money here.
No money, money, money. No, not as long.
We're not in this for money. We're in this for fun.
And the new name of the podcast is called Jew Octopus. Okay.
OctoJew. Okay.
Next one is from Amber. Okay, guys.
I just got back from a dinner with four people, and the meal was priced per person. But when we got the check at the end of the night, they had only rang us up for three people.
I want to know, what would you guys do in that situation? Would you flag down the waiter and tell them they undercharged us? Or would you just pay the lower amount and get out of there before anyone said anything

for context this was a 75 a person meal you know somewhat nice restaurant let me know what you would do this is a toughie it is because as we know most restaurants are working on razor thin margins it's tough it tough. I think that I would tell the waiter that he missed a person and I'll tell you why.
I would either do that or I would grossly over tip the waiter. That's right.
If you're a person that tips on subtotals or totals, then you want to make sure that that 20% that you're giving was still on the full bill. So at a minimum, you're tipping on what the perceived bill would be.
Maybe I would just do that. I think that it depends on the restaurant.
If it's like a small mom and pop, whatever, of course, I'm going to tell them because to your point, razor thin margins. If we're at Outback, we're at Red Lobster, where I know they got the coin, I don't mind.
It's their problem, but I'm not going to make it the waiter's problem, even though it literally is the waiter's problem. The waiter's the one who fucked that up.
We're not going to take it out on the waiter. See, that's where it gets dicey, Josh.
That's where it gets dicey. The only person who could have fucked that up is the waiter.
And as we know, Red Lobster is on the precipice of bankruptcy and it was only saved by Flavor Flav.

Yes.

Yes.

Who I feel like everybody I know has run into at least once.

Have you run into Flavor Flav?

Of course.

See?

Was he wearing the clock?

Of course.

I'm part of showbiz Illuminati.

Flavor Flav is everywhere.

Just saying.

So is Snoop Dogg.

He's so rich it annoys me.

Yeah.

Snoop Dogg is one of the only people who will never say no to an opportunity, yet nobody gets on his ass about just being a complete sellout. Well, cut that out.
Otherwise, you're going to get gunned down in the streets, Ben. No, no, no.
I love Snoop. I love him.
I love him. I'm just saying he will promote anything and everything.
And most people that promote anything and everything, like eventually they like dilute their brand. Yeah, what do you mean? People no longer want anything from them.
Not you. Please.
You're great. I just did a brand deal with the tourism board of Kazakhstan.
I'm down. Kidding me? Should we get to What Are You Nuts? Yes, we should get to What Are You Nuts.
Our What Are You Nuts moment of the week is our gripes with people, places, and things, things that are sticking in our craw, big or small. Ben, take it away.
Okay, folks. I was recently at a restaurant that I frequent.
It's more of like a deli, like a pickup. I just got my salmon right before this.
I don't get salmon at the deli. I don't know what to call it.
What's those places with like the, like the buffets. Yeah.
A hot bar, a takeaway place. A hop, a hop, a hop bar.
Okay. And I'm in said place, ordered my salmon, a little bit of rice and vegetables.
It's a beautiful, healthy meal. Go to pay.
Woman next to me, she's sitting. She comes up with her bottle, with her plastic bottle.
And she says, I went over to the garbage and I didn't see a bin for recycling. You guys not recycle at this establishment? Lady, shut up.
What are you, nuts? Leave these poor people alone. You think that the cashier is responsible for determining if they recycle or not? Leave them alone.
Put your water bottle in the trash and move on with your day what do you not she's nosy nuts love that here for that love it love it love it my what do you nuts moment it's a little it's a little sad a little darker i'll be honest my friend's mother-in-law sadly is it's very sick she's got the can'ts no bueno so she needs pain medicine for actually not for fun for need you cannot find pain medicine anywhere it doesn't exist because people like my friends have taken a lot of advantage of it so my buddy who's got to go get his mom some of that good good or his mother-in-law, is like he's going to CVS.

He's going to Rite Aid. He's going to Duane Reade.
They're like, we can't help you. He goes, you're a pharmacy.
Well, so where do I go? They're like, you're going to have to find like some little mom and pop place. What are you nuts? My buddy is now ordering them like across state lines from a random like mom and pa, you know, Jenny and John's Oxy Factory.
It's weird. What are you nuts? CVS.
That's nuts. Hook it up.
That's nuts. That's terrible.
Absolutely terrible. Crazy, right? Crazy, crazy.
And the last terrible thing that I'll mention from this week josh do you know who passed away this week speaking of cancer john amos the kenbe mutombo i know it's so sad the famous finger wag if you don't know look him up the best the kenbe mutombo died of brain cancer so sad god bless him sending love to an absolute Knicks and basketball legend.

And folks, this episode has been filled with highs and lows.

Wait, one more low.

The low point.

I went to go visit my buddy's mother-in-law when she was having,

she had to go have a procedure.

So she was in the hospital for a couple of days.

She's one of the great people ever.

Shout out Mindy.

We love you.

She's awesome.

So I was like, I love, as we said,

It's part of Jewish tradition. It's a mitzvah to go visit the sick.
I said, my pleasure. I love visiting the sick.
I love it. I love it.
I love it. So I go and I bring, I go, what are you hungry for? I'm bringing you food.
She goes, I wouldn't mind some deli. I said, Mindy, say less.
I go to the Great Factors Deli in Los Angeles. I get her beautiful pastrami sandwich, potato salad, chopped liver, matzo ball soup.
It's a smorgasbord. It's a caloric orgy.
So I go, I bring her these things. She's loving it.
She's eating it. She she's had is hospital food.
Her wonderful daughter's there, Michelle. And all of a sudden, Mindy starts going, I look over.
Michelle looks over. We go, is she okay? She looks over.
Michelle goes, call the nurse. She had pastrami stuck.
It went down the wrong pipe but i think she thought it was all over i was like can you think of a more jewish ending

of pastrami it's kind of epic it's epic that's nuts that's nuts totally nuts we love you Mindy we love you Mindy as I was saying high highs low lows the lowest definitely be that Fanta was made in Nazi Germany I don't think you can get lower than that but folks where can you get information like information like this? We are the hub of information. So rate us five stars.
Otherwise, what are you nuts? Listen to us on Apple, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch us on Josh's YouTube.
You got to see us, interact with us. Leave us a nice comment.
We read them. They make us feel good.
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