A Message for the Haters

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good guys.

Whoa.

Mazelmorans, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast.

I'm sitting here with your favorite Jewish camp counselor.

It's Ben Safer.

Shalom Chaverim, Shalom Chaverim, Shalom, Shalom.

Lehitra, Lehitra Hot, Shalom.

Shalom.

For everybody that doesn't know, that just means hello, campers, and we'll see you later.

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast.

Things are great, Josh.

Things are great over here.

Things are great.

We're sleeping good.

I'm not trying to brag.

I'm just telling you, Josh, that Ruby is sleeping like a rock.

The man is going eight to four and then four to eight.

Dude, Masrel, you're so lucky.

I've never had a kid like that.

By the way, Jackie is literally like looking at us.

She's like, I don't understand.

Like her kids were not like that either.

She's like, I don't understand how he's doing this.

Eight to four, four to eight.

That's it.

He's just like, he's just unbelievable.

That's huge.

BH, real quick.

Sorry to cut you guys off.

I'm just Mike Flag.

I just noticed.

Oh, okay.

No worries.

We can, we can.

We'll give him one episode.

We'll give him one episode.

It's fine.

We'll keep it going.

It's okay, John.

We'll just charge him on the back end.

It's cool.

No,

we're leaving all this in because here's the truth of the matter, right?

DM, dear media, we love you.

We're company guys.

Yeah, we talk a lot of crap.

You know, Michael and Lauren, they think I make fun of them, and I do.

But the truth is, it's because they're so freaking attractive.

They're rich, rich, rich, rich, rich.

And that's how I show love.

Hating is not only my love language, but it's also my hate language.

It's a maximum of both.

There's a fine line.

There's a fine line, Josh.

There's a fine line.

I'm aggressively jealous of these two, and I love working for them.

Thank you, bosses.

Thank you, bosses.

were we what were we talking about you have that thanks josh you have yeah you have an elite child in the great register my russian rubo my reuben me too that's unbelievable congrats i'm i'm in the opposite boat and we were and i want to get to that but also we thought of a good bar mitzvah theme for him grooven with rooven

it's 70 themed dance party you know

we're getting groovy with roovy you don't even you could just say groovy or grooving

Oh my God.

Grooven.

Come groove.

Come groove with us.

I'm going to throw up.

Honestly, I'm going to throw up.

I'm not waiting until it's barbarium.

I'm launching a 70s themed brand now called Grooven.

I can see the invite now.

His proud parents, Ben Soffer and Claudia Oshri,

Shep Nachus, for Grooven.

For Grooven.

By the way, it can also be a product at Home Depot for grooves called the Grooven.

You like that?

An appliance?

Yes.

Great.

Now tell me.

Now tell me why our beautiful Meyer,

he's not sleeping.

No good.

Is that why you're having a coffee?

Meyer's great.

A big surprise was my middle child is not happy.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Well, let's talk about it.

But at the age that Meyer is great.

What's wrong with Shai?

What's going on?

Shy's amazing, but I think we, you know, we didn't,

when Shai was born, Max was almost four.

And Max, what you will learn too, and my buddy Luca has sort of walked me through this thus far is he's like, you think you know that you have different kids, but you don't know that you have different kids until it comes to

disciplining, talking to them, reasoning with them.

And with one, you can come in with sweets and kisses.

And the other one, you have to come in with a little bit more of like a tough tone.

And so, whereas Max was more stoic and just, you know, a quick listener, understood, was a little bit more like emotionally fragile.

So everything, he just got it.

Shy is a fighter.

He's got that fight.

He's a fighter, fighter, fight.

He's two.

He's two and a half.

He's also incredibly young.

And so this is totally rustling his feathers.

He's, he'll be be three in October.

Yeah, so this age, I see it.

I have a lot of friends that have kids this exact age, and the common theme is they are terrorists.

Terrorists.

I'm not saying the shy is like that.

Sadly, I haven't spent enough time because you don't bring him to New York, but they then grow out of it quickly.

And like the terrible twos apparently are just a real thing.

Like they just like.

walk all over you.

And maybe it's not every kid.

Maybe Max didn't do that, right?

But that's what, that's what I keep seeing and hearing that these, these two-year-olds are bossy.

Yeah, I mean, obviously you hear about the terrible twos and three-agers, which makes me want to punch myself in the private.

I know.

Three nature?

Go write a baby book.

Who came up with that?

Three nager?

Go start a sub stack, loser.

Fucking fucking loser.

But what you do read is that when you have these big changes in their lives school changing of a bedroom a new sibling arriving it can just totally rock their reality their their customs and now their routine and so we kind of over the last two months have done all three to the poor boy and so he is just like and where we've tried to like say like listen we're sticking with the plan you have slept in your bed for the last two years and 10 months and we're not gonna like start changing it up now.

He, well, you know, whereas Max would give a fight for 20 minutes and then relent, Shai's like, give me two hours.

I'll keep going.

This, these vocal cords, they're strong.

I won't be losing this one.

So he wants to sleep in the bed with you.

That's the, that's the new thing?

It's, he doesn't want to sleep.

He wants to, he just, yeah, he basically doesn't, and, and it's normal that there's like a separation anxiety, but it's, he just doesn't want to sleep at all.

I'm not going to, I'm not going to lie.

I feel like I was still occasionally coming into my parents' bedroom at like seven.

I didn't

until eight.

Yeah, like I think, look, they're you're we're their best friends, right?

Like, we're their comfort centers.

So, like, it makes sense.

It doesn't mean that it's pleasant.

Is he doing that immediately?

Like, he's never going to bed, or he's waking up in the middle of the night and then running into your bed.

It's a huge 180, right?

Because it went from like a kid who we had a beautiful routine.

We'd start winding down at 6.30, bath, reading, you know, bottle,

songs, prayer.

The whole thing was one short Hallmark movie.

I love it.

And just the way you said songs, prayer.

I love it.

Songs and prayer, babe.

That's the foundation of a great home.

Singing and praying.

Praying and singing.

Benny and Joshi singing and praying.

Benny and Joshi praying for song.

Benny and Joshi, adoration of the Lord.

Benny and Joshi, Machaim Beruchashem.

Yech.

Yeh.

And also, in your name we pray.

Shout out, my wife.

Your name we pray.

It's so funny because I know she feels this way with my Jewish-ass prayers, but when we throw in a Gaisha prayer, when we throw in a nice Gentile prayer, I go, oh, look at me.

I'm like the president here.

They're nice.

A nice Gentile prayer is nice.

They're straight to the point.

A good R fairy.

Beautiful.

Fantastic.

Excellent.

I have no issues.

You can't pray too much.

I know.

I have no issues.

I have no issues.

I throw in an a la akbar here and there.

You should absolutely do it.

Absolutely do it.

By the way.

Do you know this UFC fighter?

I think his name is Bryce.

I know Bryce Mitchell.

Bryce Hall is the TikToker, right?

Bryce Hall is the TikToker.

I don't know this MMA guy.

So there's this MMA fighter named Bryce Mitchell, who who I'm not here to rag on him.

He did see some wild ass things about the Jewish people.

Oh, that's this guy.

That's this guy.

The one that Portnoy came out, like saying he's a fucking loser.

That's this guy, right?

Yes.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

I don't know you, but I know what you fucking did.

You 100% know there's this great clip of this Russian guy interviewing him.

Like he's doing a press conference.

And so there's these Russians interviewing him.

And obviously, MMA is huge in Russia and Arabic-speaking countries and so many different places in the Eastern Bloc and parts of that world.

And so this Russian guy is like,

Bryce, I was wondering, and he's like, you know, just like the thickest typical Russian accent.

And Bryce Mitchell goes, well, first I want to say Shakrown, huh, baby?

It's so good, dude.

Oh, my God, said that to me.

That's hysterical.

What a fool.

What a fool.

And the interviewer is like, I'm Russian.

And he goes, well, Asalamu alaikum.

I'm like, dog.

I mean, respect to you.

I just think you might not be quite

hitting it on the nose there.

That's so funny.

Some people really just should not try accents.

Sorry.

Like, or some people should try, shouldn't try saying things that require an accent.

You can't.

You can't do it.

If you have that deep of an accent, you just can't say it.

You can't.

It was, it was fascinating.

I'm like, you're speaking Arabic to a Russian man, but I appreciate the attempt.

So funny.

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Hi, guys.

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Speaking of fighters, I know that you were a big WWE guy, so like, rest in peace.

I'm sorry.

Like, I just saw that coming in.

The Hulkster, Mr.

Hogan,

happens in threes.

It happens in threes.

And cardiac arrest, 71 years old.

Sad, Josh.

Think it had anything to do with all the shit he was injecting into himself?

That guy was hopped up, up, up.

And all of a sudden, he's hopped down, down, down, laid to rest.

Terry.

That's the Hulk's name.

Terry.

Terry.

Terry.

Wow.

Behind, you know, behind every Hulk Hogan, there's a Terry.

Talk about Terry, Josh.

Talk about Hulk Hogan.

Talk about who did you do this for once before?

Richard Simmons.

The great Richard Simmons.

I'd like you to talk about the great, I'd like you to memorialize.

Give us a nice Oscar worthy in memoriam for Hulk Hogan.

You know, when a white guy can pull off a do-rag, you say, it's somebody special.

So true.

Shout out to him.

That one broke me.

I'm sorry.

That one broke me.

It's so true.

He lived his life.

He lived his life in a dude.

He did.

He did.

God bless him.

He looked his age since he was 25.

He's looked like this for 50 years.

And yeah, I mean, he's a pretty spectacular fellow, not without his peccadillos, not without his flaws, but what he did for wrestling.

What I find is the most interesting sort of most recent chapter in his life was how he took down the head of Gawker with this whole, do you, do you, are you familiar with this?

Not really.

Tell me, tell me, tell me.

So they're making a movie about it, but my friend Ryan Holiday actually wrote the book called Conspiracy.

Basically, there was a website called Gawker, which was like the meanest version you could imagine of, like,

some people might laugh at this, but it was like truly tmz with no ethics right it it was it doesn't like red like reddit yeah we'll we'll report a rumor yeah understood yep doesn't need to be substantiated in any way and it was especially around the tech world so billionaire vc investor peter thiel at the time in the late 2000s they put out a story basically saying

peter thiel is gay why won't he come out and at this time peter Thiel was not out, and it was

deeply unacceptable for anyone to push anyone to come out, especially to do it in this huge public forum, but in any version, right?

That was completely, you know, Peter Thiel's journey and right to decide.

And when they put this out, the head of Gawker was a guy named Nick Denton, who was this British guy who basically just felt like, this is what we're going to do.

And the website became super popular, blah, blah, blah.

So Peter Thiel played this incredibly long game where he said, one day I'm going to get him.

It's not now, but I'm going to find it.

Cut two.

And this is the fun part.

This is a fun story, even though forgive me, it's long.

So Hulk Hogan has a buddy named Bubba the Love Sponge.

Who died?

God,

me that.

A shock jock-esque radio host in the great Tampa Bay area.

Say less, I know.

So

shout out.

Terry and Bubba, they're thickest thieves.

They're wearing their do-rags and their Oakleys.

They're going out on the town, eating sampler platters, really living it up.

Hulk, well, he's having a hard time at home.

Who is it?

You know what I'm saying?

These

things happen.

And one day, Bubba says, You know, Hulk, it would be an honor for you to sleep with my wife.

Please,

will you do me this blessing?

So, the great Hulkster, he obliges his friend Bubba the Lebston.

And he has sex with Bubba's wife.

Now, what Bubba doesn't tell him is that he happens to have a camera in his bedroom.

And

he's filming Sed Act.

Somehow this video gets leaked, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Somehow.

You sure it wasn't Bubba?

Couldn't have been.

Couldn't have been the guy who filmed it.

Possible.

Someone in Bubba's camp.

I don't know.

Bubba's got a lot.

Bubba's got a big, big entourage.

Okay.

So, look, these things happen.

You're sleeping with your friend's wife.

It gets filmed.

The

tape leaks.

It's a tale as old as time.

I feel like that's something that would happen to Kid David.

Would you agree?

100%.

It's in his future.

Shout out the great kid David.

Love you.

So, Gawker, back to Gawker, they run the story.

In fact, they show the video.

Oh, God.

Now, what you would say is, well, you were filmed hooking up with someone.

That's just your bad luck.

But of course, in a bedroom, there is an expectation of privacy, of privacy.

And he was being illegally filmed, even though it was, you know, not the coolest act in theory.

Regardless, it was illegal for them to post it.

And so they sent a cease and desist.

They refused to take the video down.

And Peter Thiel said, This is the moment.

So Peter Thiel quietly reaches out and says, I'm going to be your benefactor, Mr.

Terry, Mr.

Hulk Hogan.

You are going to go.

And of course, he did this through intermediaries.

We are going to go take Gawker down now.

This is going to sink them.

And they proceeded to.

Terry put on his most judicious do-rag and went into a courtroom in

Tampa, Florida.

And I think they sued Gawker for

got $150 million in damages.

They won the case, and Gawker is no longer.

Wow.

How'd I miss this?

I definitely remember the lawsuit, but I missed the whole fun story.

And that was a wonderful story told.

So on behalf of everybody listening, that was a great synopsis.

All right.

So rest in peace, Hulk Hogan.

King in many regards.

Ozzy.

Ozzy God.

Oh, yeah.

I totally forgot.

I was thinking to myself, who are the three?

Yeah.

Rest in peace, Ozzy.

Good man.

Crazy.

That's how it goes.

What's your fucking show, mate?

Two Jews, big and tall.

What kind of fucking lyrics are them?

You sound like Ron Weasley.

Oh, Sharon.

Now you sound like Mrs.

Downfire.

Oh, Sharon.

Oh, Sharon.

Put some sugar in your tea, Sharon.

Sharon Osborne is fun.

I spent one afternoon with her for a charity event, and she is fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.

And we were eating brownies together.

She was fun.

She's great, great lady.

You have to be a fun, great lady to be married to that man for as long as she was married to him and stuck by him through his debaucherous acts guy though is a legend legend but a legend and what he performed i read something he like just performed like a couple weeks ago like a week ago a final a farewell tour a week before he passed god talk about leaving it all out there

unbelievable and who was the third it comes in threes who else died malcolm jamal warner sadly from the cosby show i don't know if you're familiar but he was theo theo he was a great of course i i yeah how was How old is he?

Young, you know?

Mid-50s, he died in a riptide in Costa Rica in the ocean.

God, that's a horrible way to die.

So for our listener's safety, the great Ben, I ask you, I bet you do know, how, if you find you are caught in a riptide, how do you proceed to get out of said riptide?

That's an excellent question.

I would assume that you do not, not assume.

You do not fight the current.

Smart.

You let the current take you where the current is going to take you.

And the current will eventually take take you somewhere that is less riptide.

You don't fight against it.

You swim with it.

And I believe you swim as low as you can.

You don't go high.

So I would go under and with until I reached somewhere safe.

Is that correct?

Half correct.

Okay.

Yes.

One of your options is let it take you out.

It's going to win.

Save all your energy and try not to panic and just let it take you and float out.

Even if it takes you hundreds of yards out, eventually, once you're out of the riptide, the wave patterns will get you back, assuming you're a strong enough swimmer to swim, you know, a good yard.

I just got to say, very strong swimmer over here.

I don't know if we spoke about this.

I believe you were.

I was a lifeguard.

I was.

Pool or beach.

I never actually made it to the pool because I was too fat, but I was lifeguard certified.

I could have been, okay?

I could have been.

I had the training.

I was ready to go.

But it's just like, maybe this was just like me like projecting my insecurities into the lifeguard community.

But like, you see this like snatch tan red bathing suit.

Me pale, fat, red bathing suit.

Sure.

That's it.

I could do the job.

I could do the job.

At fat camp, I would have crushed being the lifeguard because I would have been like the hot snatch lifeguard in comparison to like the big fat fatties.

But in regular camp, it just wasn't it.

So I'm certified and a very strong swimmer.

My dad's a very strong swimmer.

Very strong.

Most Jews I know are strong swimmers.

Why is that?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Just in case we need to flee via the ocean.

Is it because our flat feet are like flippers?

It's a good question.

I don't know.

We love the ocean.

We love the ocean, though.

I would say that.

I think we're also big fans of low-impact exercises.

Yes, that's a good, very true as well.

Butter aerobics.

I also think we embrace anything that will make us as far away from our mothers as possible.

can i get away from her

all right so you're in a riptide you have two choices go with it or go against it you're going with it what was the other i said swim to the bottom you don't swim to the bottom don't swim to the bottom it'll take your ass out why won't you do that swim parallel So

go north or south on the I'm I assuming you're in the Atlantic or the Pacific, but just swim parallel to the shoreline.

Riptides are incredibly contained.

So, you know, at best, they're 25, 50 yards wide.

I mean, that's even maybe pushing it.

So what happens is you will swim parallel, you will get no resistance, and then you'll be out of it and can swim back.

So to be clear in this explanation, are we victim blaming Theo Huxtable

for

not knowing his protocol in the Riptide?

No,

we're going to lie.

Canceled by the Riptide community.

I feel for him because I think a lot of people, you get, you feel the power of the ocean and that you're screwed.

And most people, I think, panic and start swimming really hard and exhaust themselves.

Agree.

It's horrible.

Absolutely.

I feel terrible for him.

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I read a comment i've responded to it i never respond to comments on tick tock somebody like wrote something under one of our videos like ben has no real life experience like why is he talking about i forget what he was like they were like referencing like when i was saying that like i i have to pull up the can i pull up the comment sure i want to read it yeah petty season i want to i want to read it response season

i want to do this every episode it pissed the shit out of me like i never this guy i'm gonna rip him apart okay ready?

Ready for this?

Mm-hmm.

It was on a video of us talking about six flags.

I don't even know.

I just listened to Jay Shetty's episode.

How could anybody take issue?

It was in a wonderful episode.

Okay.

I just listened to Jay Shetty's episode and was reminded once again how little life experience Ben has.

I'm a lover of the pot and a toaster, but I can't help but notice that Ben and Claudia just really think they have life figured out.

Ben just said there would never be a situation where he wouldn't celebrate someone's win in reference to a caller who was asking for advice about a friend being less than thrilled about her pregnancy because she was struggling to conceive.

Ben lives in la-la land much of the time where he's unable to put himself in somebody else's shoes and thinks he would handle any situation perfectly.

God forbid something happened to sweet blank.

I'm not putting that out there.

I'm betting he would have to take a step back from hearing about other fathers' fun dad experiences for a while.

He speaks like this a lot and I'm glad he has a more mature, older and wiser Josh to learn from.

And one day when Ben goes through some hard things, maybe he'll be a little more empathetic to others.

This is one of many examples I could give, but no one is even reading at this point, I'm sure.

Haha, understandable.

And I wrote, I read, try being kinder.

You don't know me or what I've been through.

Your judgment of a stranger is telling.

Yeah.

So all I have to say is fuck you.

And the reason that I bring that up was because I was about to say something else about Theo Huxtable and how sad and all of this is and whatever.

We just have to cherish life, but I don't want to proselytize for this woman.

Dude, God, it killed me.

It's so rare that somebody writes something like that.

Like, how fucking nasty is that?

It's so, it's so out of pocket.

It's so, it's just keyboard warriors thinking that they can make an impact.

Like, the amount of people who are, you know, the great Chrissy D talks about this, and Theodore Roosevelt, this is attributed to him.

It's called the man in the arena.

We're in the fucking arena.

We're putting ourselves out there.

We're creating the content.

We're having an opinion.

We have, we, we, we're brave enough to create something, right?

And it's easy to be a spectator up in the crowd, throwing tomatoes and having your reactions and whatnot.

But it's like, do you have the guts to stand in the stage and be like, look at this.

Here's something.

Let us help you to forget about your day, to have an hour away, whether you're working out or on your commute or whatever, to enjoy yourself.

So don't, don't criticize someone for trying to do something nice.

And the Benjamin, the Benjamin sophar I know is the greatest boy there is.

There's no one like my co-host.

Bless you.

And all that I have to say, because I know you'll agree with this, jealousy is a choice.

I will back that up all day long.

Like I a thousand percent have stood in a room with friends who have done the same thing that I've done and

successfully done it when I have failed at it.

And you have to be proud of the people around you.

I'm sorry.

I'll double down on it.

Just because you're experiencing something and negatively and somebody is experiencing the same thing positively, if you look through life as poor me, I don't care what your economic status is, I don't care what your life looks like, if you run through poor me, you will have a horrible life.

So remove the jealousy if you can.

And

that's what I do.

It's not proselytizing.

It's the truth.

I'm not a jealous person.

I've never, I've been a jealous person and I will never be a jealous person because jealous people make themselves sick.

Yeah, I, oh, I heard someone once say that they knew people who gave themselves cancer to get out of a bad relationship.

I was like, hi, yi, aye.

Like, yeah, you, it'll, it'll make you sick.

Stress will kill you, and jealousy will kill you.

Facts, absolutely.

But also, yeah, I don't know how we got here, but fuck that girl.

Fuck her.

Well, also to that, I would say sometimes the exception proves the rule, right?

Like, everything you've said about how you feel, I know to be true about you.

And yes, of course, in like those rare, horrible moments when you lost Romeo, yes, I'm sure for a couple days after you didn't want to hear people's super cute, you know, cutesy dog love stories because you were in mourning.

That's normal, but like that is such a rare, specific instance when 98% of the time you're celebrating people's wins.

I do even, I swear to God, if somebody came to me in that moment, like I wouldn't, I wouldn't be angry at them.

I would probably say like, for that one week, have a little self-awareness, but in general, but in general,

I'm not going to root that your dog dies just because mine did.

That's what this girl is saying.

Like, I don't want you to have that because I can't.

How awful is that?

So we should all have nothing?

Nobody should have anything?

There should be no joy.

I have a reply that's been on my heart.

Do it.

Do it.

It's been on my heart.

But this one is just pretty clear-cut.

We had a wild speak pipe a couple of weeks ago during the Rain Wilson episode, which was kind of confusing, where this girl told this long story about her and her, I think her boyfriend.

And there was like a cheating scandal.

And it was all these things.

And we were trying to wrap our heads around it.

And we thought it had to do with her.

her husband's best.

I don't know.

It was a whole thing.

I don't really remember it too specifically, but it was wild.

And we commented on it weeks later.

She sent in a speakpipe after seeing the episode and saying, Oh my god, I feel like an idiot.

I misspoke about something.

Here's some like other extra details that I need to clarify.

And we were listening to it on the episode a couple of days ago.

And I think I just felt in my need also to make sure that like I try to keep every speak pipe as interesting as possible that people wouldn't have remembered that from the Rain Wilson episode.

Like they'd have to think back a month ago and what is,

and I just said, oh, who cares?

I just moved on.

Yeah.

And she wrote me and she was like, you know, you have more influence than you think.

And it does hurt to hear when someone you love says, oh, who cares?

So I hear you.

I could have done better.

I'm sorry.

And I love you.

And I won't do that anymore.

But also people's, what are you nutses, this having nothing to do with our listener?

They're just, I got to listen to these speak pipes.

It's making it's giving me gray hairs.

Up your game, y'all.

These what are you nuts?

They're not great.

Are you trying to kill him?

We said that stress creates cancer.

So do bad speak pipes.

Are you trying to kill him?

Yeah.

Are you trying to kill him?

Okay, so I was gonna, when I thought you were gonna call out a hater, I was gonna suggest a new segment called hi haters, where once a week we like talk about let's do some some fan that we fucking hate

or or a person.

It doesn't have to be a fan.

I just always

let me edit.

Let me edit.

Oh,

great segment, Ben.

Benny and Joshi addressing the haters.

Benny and Joshi reading these hosts to filth.

Okay, hold on.

Because essentially, speak pipes are the opposite, right?

That's like us highlighting our wonderful community and giving them advice.

And for every 99 wonderful morons, there is an absolute dickhead.

So we'll read you to filth.

But we also don't, here's the problem, right?

When we do these things, we're encouraging bad reviews because they're right.

They get spotlights.

So we're only going to do this once.

And then, how about this?

We will only read each episode, we will read a five-star good review.

I love it.

I love it.

Yes, you're right.

Okay, so hi, haters.

We're doing one time.

All of the other times, it's hi, friend.

Yeah, thank you, friend.

Hi, friend.

Thank you, friend.

I love it, Josh.

That's thinking with your noggin.

Thanks, Bubby.

Okay, here we go.

Love the pod, but Josh.

Review update.

Giving five stars solely for Ben.

Ben, are you exhausted from Josh constantly challenging and belittling you on every single little thing you talk about?

Josh is giving that he absolutely hates you and basically anyone who disagrees with him on anything and everything.

I was on, well, Butron, ma'am.

Okay.

This is a very common side effect to be adversarial and confrontational.

and you, Miss, can go screw.

You don't want a podcast where two people just constantly say the exact same thing in an echo chamber.

That's not fun, right?

So if I'm not offended by it, you shouldn't be.

And if I am, we're not airing it.

Just so it's clear.

You're meshuga.

I'm meshuga.

This whole thing works.

All this is, is one long improv scene.

And the only way that scenes in anything work, the only reason why you're interested, whether you know it or not, is because there's conflict.

And we just have kayut conflict.

Yeah, we do.

Cute.

Yes.

Gorgeous.

Fantastic.

All right, good.

That was hi, haters.

But next week, it'll be hi, friends.

So leave us a five-star review that's gorgeous.

You can submit a speak pipe where you're praising us, or you can write comments under, I clearly see TikTok comments, okay?

Even though I get millions and millions and millions of them a day because I'm a TikTok superstar, I see them.

Josh sees them.

So you can leave a nice comment there.

We'll read them or send a speak pipe or leave a review on the pod.

And we're going to read one gorgeous review per episode.

Totally.

Hi, friend.

Hi, friend.

Until we forget next week, but this sounds good now.

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This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Shopify.

Folks, do you have a lazy friend?

We all know him, okay?

We got him.

He doesn't want to do anything.

He just wants to sit on his keyster and everybody makes fun of him.

They're like, hey, Jimmy, why don't you get up and get a job?

Well, Josh, Shopify's AI magic will ask even Jimmy to start a business.

What kind of business should lazy Jimmy start?

I don't know, but I was thinking Jimmy was hopeless.

I really, I said, you know what, we're going to have to put Jimmy in a facility.

You know,

I thought Jimmy was hopeless too.

I really maybe Jimmy needed to have an accident and we would all be better off, you know?

I think so too.

But and look, but Jimmy, Jimmy's come a long way, okay?

And what Jimmy's going to do is Jimmy is starting Jimmy's roller rink shoes.

He's going to to all the Roller Rink places that are now out of business.

He's buying up all the rollerblades.

Yeah, that's right there, use, and he is renting them out to people.

Okay,

because Jimmy's passionate about rollerblading.

He wants to bring back the roller rinks he wants to get a low-cost item, make a nice margin.

And so what's he going to do, Josh?

He's going to go and make jimmiesroller rinkshoes.com.

He's going to make it on Shopify.

You're going to put in your size.

You're going to put in the color that you want.

You're going to put in your address.

He's going to ship these shoes straight to your door all of a sudden you're going to have used roller rink shoes courtesy of jimmy it's the best thing since sliced bread but that's jimmy's way you know how there's mike's way this is jimmy's way i like it jimmy's way and i like it shopify's way because anything that makes jimmy's life easier look the truth is you have an idea for a business i know you do i know you watch shows like shark tank you go i could do that well here's your chance babe there's no barrier to entry anymore from nose to tail from beginning to end shopify is going to take care of all of your needs end-to-end solution folks so if you want to start a business like jimmy if jimmy can do it you can do it you're going to go to shopify.com slash good guys today because that's the first step towards achieving your dream but it can't buy a it can't help me make a website of course it can but it can't help me to you know uh accept payment Of course it can.

But there's no AI involved.

Of course there is.

What?

Everything.

If you're not using Shopify, what are you, nuts?

Should we get to a story?

Yeah.

Lisa Vanderpump hits back at Sheena Shea's bullshit TV exploitation accusation.

Lisa Vanderpump dismissed Sheena Shea's BS accusation that she exploited her for fame.

Guess what?

I don't care what she says.

How about that?

Vanderpump told the TMZ paparazzi in Los Angeles.

That's the saddest thing, The Real Housewives Beverly Hills alum said.

Yeah.

Is Sheena Shea a friend friend of the show before I dive in?

I mean, I know her and she's a nice enough person, but dive, dive in.

She's never been on the show.

No, I just like, like, Lisa Vanderpump is like an Andy Cohen, right?

These are like pioneers.

Lisa Vanderpump made Sheena Shea.

Without Lisa Vanderpump, Sheena Shea, I don't know where she is, but she's certainly not in the position to, like, I hate when people come back and say that their boss that gave them an opportunity exploited them.

I mean, he exploited, cast you on a reality show and gave you your entire career, right?

Like, I just, I don't get that.

I don't get that.

It's reality TV.

There's no such thing as,

how can you exploit someone?

You're the one, it's unscripted.

You're doing whatever you want.

And what, you're exploited her, like used her at her bar?

She was a waitress.

They're all waitresses.

Like, does it dig deeper on how she was exploited?

I don't know.

I didn't really see much of the Sheena thing.

Although, so let me ask you this, right?

Does it depend, Is exploitation contingent on compensation or how you feel about it?

Because, like, when Drake has been talking recently on podcasts, which I think he's totally right about, just that, you know,

we never got residuals.

So few people in kids' television get residuals, and so many massive corporations make hundreds of millions from it.

What do you say to that?

You were exploited, and that's scripted TV.

It's completely different.

Like, yeah, same movie.

You were paid for a very specific job, right?

And your contract was fucked.

Totally fucked.

It was clear as day that this was your job.

Reality TV, your job description is your entire life, especially in a show like Vanderpump Rules, where they literally cast you at your day job and then follow you into the night and into the morning.

And they gave you that opportunity and paid you incredibly well.

Like the whole premise of the show, again, I don't know what she's claiming to have been exploited for.

I have to assume that it was promoting her bars or whatever it may be.

But no, scripted versus unscripted, it's just a completely different ballgame, in my opinion.

And so, yeah, no, I saw those Drake headlines.

And honestly, go Drake.

Like, I'm happy that somebody's leading this because, Josh, you never know.

Maybe, just maybe he'll make enough noise that somebody will cut you a check.

Well, I don't know, but I give him a lot of credit for doing it.

And I think it takes a lot of guts to fight that fight for sure a lot a lot of guts and it's it's real it's real so go drake go okay i have a fun game for us this is from fastfoodclub.com the 10 oldest foods

don't worry about my search history

i was gonna say is that pinned

I'm starting to type with my diabetic fingers.

People open their browser and it's like Google.

Yours is fastfoodclub.com.

It's better when I opened up my browser once in front of my sister-in-law and poor dub popped up.

I was like,

and it was just like fat chicks eating McDonald's.

And I screamed, this is no reflection on your sister.

Sorry, Taylor.

Oh, that's funny.

Thank you for never bringing it up again.

That was a weird road trip.

No, that's really funny.

Okay, coming in number 10, people have been eating burgers since 100th century AD.

Burgers.

Thanks.

Okay.

Okay, let's think of an let's, oh, okay.

In its earliest version was called Asisia Omentata, made with mince meats, coal fat, pepper, pine nuts, and garum fish sauce.

I'd eat that today.

Sounds delicious, and I like the addition of the pine nuts, Josh.

It adds a bit of crunch.

I've never thought of having crunch, you know.

What was it called?

Asisa tomato?

That's what I make page scream when we're in bed.

Asisa.

Asisa tomato.

Okay.

Okay, let's let's think.

And Josh, G, feel free to jump in here if one comes to mind.

We've got nine more items.

Maybe we'll do two or three.

Foods that are the oldest foods that the world still eats today.

Got a guess?

Maybe like a kebab?

A kebab.

Coming in at number one, roasted and grilled meats.

Kebab.

Over 400,000 years old.

Yeah, that makes sense.

We've been eating.

Nothing better than some lamb on a spit.

Oof.

Got another one.

I'm in.

Anybody else?

I want to get an in-home rotisserie, Josh.

Thoughts?

All I know is it's going to give me that rotism, dog.

Yeah.

I'm rotistic.

That's too funny.

That's our tagline.

Let's make them in-home rotisserie.

Yes.

Hit us up, Shark Ninja.

I'm so in.

Okay.

Others.

Yeah.

Kebby.

What about French fries?

I figure it's just taking a potato, cutting it up, and heating it.

That's got to be old.

Good.

Could be.

Good thought, not on the list.

Wow.

Thank you.

Kebab.

What about falafel?

Not on the list.

Go

basic.

Basic, basic, basic, basic, basic.

Roast chicken?

I guess that would be like grilled meats.

So not on the list.

Not on the list.

Eggs?

Not on the list.

Rice?

Not on the list.

I'll give you a question.

That was a good guess.

That was a good guess, though, Josh.

Number two is noodles and pasta.

That's rice.

Okay.

Chinese noodle making dates back 4,000 years to millet or wheat, along with techniques of rolling and cutting.

God, a Chinese noodle.

Here's some ones you might not expect.

Number four, pancakes.

How old is the pancake?

These breakfast favorites date back more than 70,000 years.

Okay, but what were they made with?

Found that in the Shondar cave system in Iraq showed people used to pound seeds soaked in water into a paste.

They formed it into patties before cooking, resulting in the earliest forms of pancakes.

Understood.

So this is probably a savory pancake.

Like we're thinking like a scallion pancake, more in like the Chinese world.

We're not thinking of like an Aunt Jemima buttermilk situation.

No, not a fun one.

Not a fun one.

No, this is a pancake.

You're,

you don't want, you don't want this pancake.

This pancake is probably a wrap, okay?

This is a tortilla.

It's a sad one.

It's not, this isn't Sunday morning cartoons.

Is the tortilla a cousin of the pancake, Josh?

Yeah,

I would say goodbye.

Close friend.

The very and could and could you and could you use a traditional pancake as the wrap of a breakfast sandwich?

The McGriddle.

Oh, is that what it is?

Don't they use waffles?

No pancakes.

Okay.

And they inject them.

McDonald's, you did it right.

They inject them with syrup.

Whoa.

Yeah, Dodge.

Wow, that's...

Josh, do you fuck with one?

I love a McGriddle, dude.

Bro, I've never heard you this passionate about anything.

That is one thing that will get any morning when I wake up and I can catch them with griddle and like make it to work on time is going to be the best day ever.

Damn, so good.

Delish.

What's your go-to McDonald's breakfast order, Ben?

Oh, I really don't dabble in, like,

I don't dabble in fast food breakfast, but like I love just like a egg and cheese.

That's like my deli order.

Like my New York deli orders, like a beautiful bun, egg, cheese, salt, pepper, ketchup.

But no, I'm not like a fast food breakfast guy.

You?

I'll do a double hash brown, no sandwich, and orange juice and a coffee.

Okay.

I love the hash browns.

Yeah.

Fantastic.

I actually love Duncan's hash browns.

Have you had Duncan's hash browns?

Amazing.

They're unbelievable.

They have a wrap that's good.

They got it all going on.

They did something a little bit strange, though.

I just want to comment.

Duncan's menu put

bacon in everything.

It previously wasn't in everything.

They used to have like a non, nope, no bacon egg bite or like bacon is in every single menu item clearly i'm in the minority and they read some research study that if they put bacon in shit people are going to buy it but yeah

i don't know like they could have like a little bit of menu diversity that's all just saying totally feel that hear that yeah shout out shout out dunkin' donuts shout out the incredible southeast asian franchise owners of all of northeast dunkin' donuts we look up to you we praise you we love you

we do we love you unbelievable josh g's from jersey he knows a good Duncan.

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

Yep, yep.

That was definitely a staple.

Any mall, anybody who works at a mall lived off of Dunkin' Doduts.

Something good.

Fantastic.

And they were big portions before it was cool.

Those coffees have always been juiced.

Love it.

Let's go back to styrofoam.

Should we get to a break?

Speakpipe before what are you nuts?

Yeah.

Beautiful.

If you want to ask us a question, get some advice.

We don't want your woody nuts, but go to speakpipe.com/slash good guys.

Keep it brief.

Brevity's key.

Let's hear from Lily.

Let's hear from Lola La Lillard.

Hey, good guys.

Okay, so I'll keep it brief.

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now, and we both just graduated high school.

And yesterday, he asked me if we could share locations with each other, like him, me having his location, him having my location.

And

I don't know.

I kind of just brushed it off.

It was like I don't know he didn't ask in like a over protective way or like a suspicious way he was just saying it and I feel like it is a pretty normal thing like all my friends share the locations with their boyfriend so I don't know what to say because I don't know if I want him knowing where I am all the time not that I'm not cheating or anything and I don't want to feel suspicious or make him feel suspicious by saying no um but like does he need to know where I am all the time I don't know I mean I trust him but like why, why, what's the use in doing that?

I don't know.

And, like, I don't really care.

I don't, I don't really care to have his location.

I don't really

want it.

I don't know.

So, I just really need your guys' advice on what I should do because it's not like I feel like I'm in danger or anything, but I just don't know what to do.

And I would love your help.

Also, I would love to get Olivia's advice on this as well.

Well, Olivia's not here, so

Olivia's out today.

Well,

first,

I'm so excited, Josh, that we have young listeners.

This is a 19, 20-year-old listener.

This is longevity, folks.

The children are our future, in the words of Jenna Maroney, even though I know you don't watch 30 Rock.

I would say it's so good.

I would say that you're kind of screwed.

Because saying, no, you can't have my location is going to be weird for sure.

I hope somebody has your location.

Agreed.

Whether that's your mom, your dad, your sister.

Nobody should not have your location.

So if you don't want that to be your boyfriend, okay.

I do think your boyfriend of two years should have your location.

And perhaps it is in the way that I'm thinking about it.

I've never once checked Claudia's location unless she was traveling or I was worried about her or her, I hadn't heard from her.

It's in like a worst case scenario.

Only weirdos check people's locations to like show up where they are.

That would be called being in a toxic relationship.

So, if you're in a toxic relationship, break up with him and don't share your location.

If you're in a loving relationship where he just like cares about making sure that you're not dead when you didn't come home last night or something,

I would share it personally.

Paige and I don't share our location.

Not that we wouldn't.

And she has my Tesla app, so she knows where my car is.

Does anybody have your location?

No.

Somebody should.

No, you never know.

Don't you kidnap me.

I know Krav Maga.

Somebody should.

Seriously, somebody should.

Somebody should have your location.

Yeah, but just one person.

It doesn't have to be Paige if you don't want it to be.

It could be your, I don't know, UTA.

How sad is that?

My agency.

That's really sad.

Is my emergency contact?

Shaney Rosenzweig at UTA managing partner is my emergency contact.

Shout out, Shane.

Love you.

Yeah.

30 years almost together.

What was I going to say?

But have you considered this, that real Gs move in silence like lasagna?

I haven't.

John, do you like that?

You wrote me in here.

That was so good.

No, I have not considered that real Gs move in silence like lasagna.

Is that one of the great Lil Wayne lines ever?

Fantastic.

Absolutely.

So good.

Shout out, Lil Wayne.

Yeah, I agree with you.

But tell me this, Ben, because for me, I feel like even at two years dating, especially when you're young, I would look at the person I'm dating and say, listen, I could spend the next 15 minutes talking or I could just say no right now.

Just don't want to.

I can give you a million reasons, but you got to do that.

But any of those reasons, in my opinion, mean that they're the wrong person.

If you have

any,

bad feeling in your gut and you're not cheating, you're not doing something nefarious, if you have any bad feeling in your gut as to why your significant other shouldn't, if they want to, have your location, they're not right for you, I think.

Like, if nobody cares, nobody cares.

Totally different story.

But otherwise, it's like, do you think that they're going to show up at your house and kill you?

Then you shouldn't be with them because you're scared of them, right?

Like if you think that they're going to track you and stalk you and show up places uninvited, they're the wrong person for you.

I'll give you a good example.

I was shooting a wonderful Applebee's ad with my sister-in-law the other week.

Shout out 2425.

For incredible collab with Applebee's.

She got a text from her friend saying, are you at Applebee's?

Blocked.

Goodbye.

That's not it.

That's not it anymore.

It's weird.

Yes, agreed.

Agreed.

Anybody, no, very weird.

And if somebody were to be like that, if that's what your boyfriend is like, but then, Josh, you shouldn't be, would you be friends with that person who's stalking you?

That's weird.

Again, I like, I know a lot of people like families who, you know, everyone's got each other's thing.

I mean, granted, they're family, but everyone's got each other's location.

And it's like,

I don't know, I'm not the best person because I'm like a only child raised by an older mom, right?

So like technology and tracking people.

Like I was walking to the bodega at 10 when I was a kid by myself.

I took the crosstown bus to school growing up when I was 12.

So I know in today's day and age, everyone's way more connected, but I don't know.

It feels, but I would want my kids.

Maybe it's a service, Josh.

This is a good idea for people who don't want to be tracked.

There is a homeland security-esque service that tracks you.

And then it's bought by Russia and you're murdered.

Russia.

Should we get to our what are you nuts?

Yeah.

our what do you nuts moment of the week are our gripes with people places and things both big and small whatever's sticking in your craw i'll go first

so i was watching a commercial the other day for the great cracker barrel you know i love a cracker barrel this is no shade on cracker barrel except they go we've got our whole new summer barbecue menu and basically they've just taken their menu items and they cook it in tinfoil what are you nuts

this is not a value add they're like it's our usual rotisserie chicken, but we cook it in tinfoil next to corn.

They're like, it's our fun summer menu.

Sounds delicious.

My woody nuts moment of the week is gazpacho, Josh.

Gespacho is not a soup.

Soup is not cold.

Gespacho is basically a savory smoothie thrown in a bowl for $30.

If I wanted a melon and mint smoothie, I would go to Jamba Juice.

I'm not going to your overpriced Italian restaurant, okay?

With Gespacha, what are you, nuts?

Love it.

Take us home, Ben.

Folks, this episode's five stars.

Otherwise, what are you nuts?

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