Love Island, Billionaire Kids, and Our Reality TV Dreams

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the good guys.

Whoa.

Mazmorons, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast.

I'm here with the guy who's handling the appeal for Diddy's trial.

He's innocent.

Ben Soper.

The baby oil was strictly for his Amazon store.

He's a seller.

It's Sean Combs transition team lead.

Ben Sobber.

Let's get him comfortable.

Daddy's coming home.

Oh, my God.

Lock that fuck away.

God.

Yeah, lock him up.

Lock him up.

He didn't even get charged for the bad stuff, did he?

We have to have Lauren back on.

Lemor.

What did I say?

Lauren.

Same thing, please.

I'm not close.

We have to have Lemore Lauren back on.

I want Lee Moore, more, and more.

I want Lee Moore back on.

Did he, right?

He got only like the lower level charges.

Like, yeah.

Nothing, nothing like big stuck.

Is he even going to jail?

Yeah, they say he'll go to jail, but like there's a world in which he gets time served because he's been in for two years.

Wow.

All right.

He's out.

Diddy's out.

What do you know?

Who do you think would be Diddy's wife Barty?

His first one back straight out of jail?

Kanye, OJ, Elizabeth Holmes, Martin Shkrelly, Elizabeth Schmart, Martin Short.

Man, who else is just diabolical and doesn't feel bad about it?

Good question.

Gosh.

I don't know.

Putin?

But it's crazy, right?

Because like even

OJ had like this weird celebrity.

They talked about this in Vegas where he kind of resided after the trial.

Like, and it just goes to show, and I don't know who was talking about it, but it's like with Elizabeth Holmes' husband now, like, getting into a startup for another blood sampling company, or OJ, like, getting rearrested for threatening the guy that stole his sports memorabilia.

It's like, they can't, like, I think it's all worth it to them.

It's so bizarre.

It's like Billy McFarlane making a fire festival, too.

Right.

They love it.

They love it.

They love it.

They love, like, they live for the controversy.

Right.

Like, they, they just want to, i think that once they get a taste of like this weird it's fame like even if it's bad fame it's still fame and they want to be back in the spotlight and they want their name back out there i don't know billy mcfarland would certainly be at diddy's next white party certainly joe francis the guy from girls gone wild sure

sounds great lena dunham

don't don't you go come after my lena

i'm here but lena is brave She's great.

But like,

it's not a political take.

It's a personality quandary.

Like, do you think Donnie T, like Donald Trump's ever come back to Milani after the end of a rough day and gone, my bad?

Like, that was my bad.

Probably.

No,

he's never, I don't think so.

I don't think he's ever been like, I gaffed it.

Not good.

I have no idea.

I have no idea.

All I know is he'd be no fun at a party.

You know, he's never had a sip of alcohol.

Yes, because his brother overdosed.

That's pretty crazy.

Like,

imagine that.

Just never, like, I guess it's probably a superpower to be able to just always be fun at a party because you've never gotten high.

That's it.

You've never gotten high.

You're missing out.

I don't know.

I'm that superhero for the last 17 years.

I'm a ball at a party.

Are you as much of a ball as you once were?

Honest question.

Honest answer.

This was me at a party on drugs.

Yeah, that checks.

It's sad.

You'd be like, why is Josh in the corner wondering if his ancestors are proud of him?

Yeah.

And now

I go.

It's now fucking sad.

And now at a party, you're fun.

And then late at night, you're worried about your ancestors.

I'm still worried about my ancestors.

I'm not fun at a party.

I'm on my phone.

I'm on my phone looking for a fucking Zen.

You're like, Paige, when can we leave?

I'm like, can they get a fucking taco truck?

I'm like, for me, a party requires a couple of things.

A fun mock tail, a delicious food truck, and some zins.

A couple zins.

And Josh care.

Have you ever been to somebody's house?

They invited you over.

And it's like, why the hell am I here?

You didn't care enough to put together a heartfelt spread?

By the way, no judgment.

Don't invite me over.

You're throwing a party and then you're sending me a Venmo request for $20 for booze.

Don't have a party, okay?

Just don't do it.

Be a host or don't host.

Nobody's telling you to host, but if you're going out of your way to host, you better show up, right?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I've never been to the Netherlands.

I don't go Dutch to your house.

Oh, we're going Dutch to your house?

Yeah.

What do you provide?

Yeah.

You're paying the mortgage.

You can't go to Smart and Vinyl.

Or don't throw a party.

I never understood this.

Who told you you needed to throw a bad party?

Who told you?

Who told you?

Right?

Like, don't.

Nobody's expecting you to throw a party.

You don't need to throw a party.

God, if you're going to throw a party, care.

Same thing.

If you're going to cook dinner, not a party.

It's just dinner.

I invite you over, Josh.

The meal I'm cooking for you is going to be plated beautifully.

It's going to be garnished beautifully.

And you're going to know that I tried my best.

I think you'll love it.

But regardless, there was effort.

Sometimes you go for somebody's house for dinner, it's like

it's terrible.

Reheated crap.

No, I could have eaten at home.

I'll give you one better, Benjamin.

One time, I went over to my brother.

I was at my brother's house in Florida for his son's bar mitzvah, and we go over to a buddy's of his house to watch a UFC fight.

Okay, now at this time, you can order the fight in HD for $79.99 or not HD for $79.99.

I guess some TVs can't support it.

Sure.

He accidentally, totally could happen, ordered the non-HD fight.

And he looked at all of us and said, and we proceeded to watch it like it was on a

Zenith Trinitron from 1997.

I said, sir, it's fuzzy.

Order the eight.

Just Just figure it out Monday.

Call the cable company.

And he was like, no, no, no.

I already paid.

I don't want to get double popped.

I'm not going to get the HD.

I was like, this sucks, sir.

That's horrible.

That's absolutely horrible.

I was like, I'm drinking a Kirkland pop, like a Kirkland cola.

Like, we can't order the fight in HD.

How cheap are you?

It's not like they charged you now.

That gets put on a bill.

You're not paying that bill for months.

And you're going to call Monday and you're going to say, fat fingers, I accidentally pressed by twice.

One removed.

No problem.

That's called being a bad host, Josh.

I hate that shit.

I hate it.

Don't host if you're a bad host.

Don't host if you're a bad host.

Nuts.

And I'm sorry.

Never, ever charge me for anything.

Ever.

I go to your house.

Do not charge me for drinks.

Do not charge me for snacks.

Do not charge me a piece of that pay-per-view.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I would rather sit at home and spend the $89 myself than come to your house and Venmo you 10 bucks.

Cheap fuck.

Wow.

Look at you.

I love to see you all jazzed up.

You're full alpha right now.

There's not a beta bone in your body right now.

There's nothing worse.

I'm sorry.

There's really nothing that grinds my gears more than somebody who's cheap.

And the worst, Josh, are the people who you know are fucking rolling in it.

And they are cheap.

Cheap.

You know the cheapest people in my experience?

Billionaires.

The richest, for sure.

The richest.

I have a friend, or loosely a friend this is at least a 10 year old story and he's incredibly wealthy incredibly wealthy we're sitting in a taxi me my friend another friend the meter it's like 20 bucks or something we get to our destination gets out i go to like i'm reaching for my wallet the my other friend's reaching for my wallet his wallet the billionaire he's not reaching for his wallet nothing and I don't remember exactly what I said, but I said something like,

you can't get this.

And he's like, what do you mean?

You two are working because he doesn't work because he just has a trust fund.

What are you nuts?

I couldn't, it's just, it's, it,

it, like, the cheapest people are the richest.

Fact.

Absolute fact.

And they're also, this is not a generalization.

Some billionaires aren't so cheap, but for the ones that are, they also tend to be incredibly selfish and self-absorbed.

And, God, just terrible.

This is at the crux of your and my disagreements, Ben, because I think people's mostly their proclivity is a self-centered, self-interest, profit-driven mentality, which is why every now and then the government needs to say, pay up.

Understood.

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I find it this is an interesting topic, Josh.

Okay, you ready for this one?

Because I think this you will agree with.

Hold on.

Five-point harness, buckling in six-flag style.

Let's go.

I find that it's very, very rare that the person who made the money is like that.

I only find these selfish billionaires personally in the children of said billionaires.

I don't know what it is, but I find it in them.

I also find on the flip side that the ones who are the most lavish, overspend, really gaudy are also the children how about josh we tax i'm open to this taxing second generation wealth if you earned a billion dollars in your lifetime josh just you you had a great life you crushed it you did it to me i'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt that you rose from nothing and are a good person that said if you were gifted a billion dollars two billion dollars ten billion dollars and just sitting there untaxed and you did nothing for it i could see a light tax But that's a big thing, too.

That's a whole, it's a Hebrew word.

I don't know a good English word for it, balagan with the craziness.

Yeah, with the tax code and heirs of fortunes and step-up points.

It's a, you know, you've heard this, this phrasing, it's a step-up and the way that you inherit money and ways in which of sheltering it to keep it from having to pay the tax.

So, yeah, having estates, having trusts, having,

you don't have any money.

You borrow money from something fictitious

and you don't have to pay tax on it.

That's why they say the worst thing you can do is die with a home in your name.

If you die with a home in your name, you just screw your children.

So if you think you're going to die, throw your home in a trust.

That way your children can be the benefactors of your home.

We should have a tax.

Have we thought about that before?

What about what's that finance girl, the one that now lives in Dubai, who tells you how to spend your money?

We should have her on the podcast.

Oh,

Miss Dow Jones?

Yes, Miss Dow Jones.

She lives in Dubai?

Yeah, she does.

She moved.

0% income tax, baby.

She could have also gotten that in Florida.

Yeah.

Same in the Amazon, by the way.

What the fuck?

The property tax is nothing.

Well, the malaria is expensive.

There's fucking.

I moved to Dubai.

Good luck.

That's funny.

There's no tax if you live in the woods.

Yeah.

People are nuts.

It's nuts.

Well, she's not coming on now.

Oh, she will, I'm sure.

She, I heard her on pod.

She's, she's very smart.

I think you put, I remember hearing this like famous boxer, someone who was like really famous, making hundreds of million dollars, saying, at this point, I'm good.

Now I'm working on generational wealth.

And it didn't make me, it made me squirrely because I've only almost always eight out of nine out of 10 seen kids of really wealthy people at a complete disadvantage because inheriting all that wealth completely screws them up.

And I think

as I heard Ezra Klein, I think say this once about like what it meant.

And maybe it doesn't mean this anymore, but it's what I want to believe as a Democrat is like the best version of what it means to be a Democrat.

And maybe that's been lost, which is, you know, all parties and systems go through waves of, you know, rediscovering who they are, redefining who they are.

But at best, best, it's that you are born lucky.

And I really feel that I'm born lucky.

And you could look at me and go, well, you didn't have a dad.

You were born into like immense financial insecurity, a single mother who had to really struggle and work hard.

And, you know, you were metabolically challenged.

Like, you know, I certainly had it much better than a lot of people, but not, you know, not a typical middle class two-parent lifestyle.

But I know I was born lucky because I had a mom who loved me and believed in me and like protected me.

And that the ability in which to strive and to pick myself up by my bootstraps is to an extent a privilege that actually some people are born without the ability in which to like get on their grind.

I'll tell you a crazy story if you want to hear it in a second.

So I do.

That's what I think.

That's kind of how I look at things is that because I was born lucky, it's like my cover charge for life to try to help those who were born less lucky.

Totally.

I do also think, and again, you have to be able to, and not everybody can do this on their own, but being born into an unfortunate situation, if you can find a way to make it out of that situation, everything in life is better.

Versus if you're born into immense privilege, it is a downhill slope your whole life.

like your entire life.

And I'm not trying to say like we should feel bad for billionaire kids, but I have seen it.

These kids are very unhappy.

Like some of the most unhappy people I've ever seen where nothing is ever good enough.

Money really does not buy happiness.

It buys security.

There, of course, is a there's a bar.

If you have no money, it's terrible.

If you have too much money, I'm telling you, it's terrible.

It's poison.

And then the rest of us that sit in the middle are lucky.

But these, these two extremes, I'm telling you, obviously, it may seem like one is significantly worse than the other.

The other, I bet you, has a higher suicide rate.

I bet you that there is a higher suicide rate in the one that was born privileged, had too much of everything,

never appreciated anything versus the one who was born into poverty.

God, gotten deep.

I love it.

I like when we get deep.

I'll tell you the story really quick about when I was training for the great single season Turner and Hooch.

They call me single season Peck.

They call me the anchor because I bring the ship down.

They call me the entertainment.

Entertainment's Bermuda Triangle.

Fucking loser.

You know that trend on TikTok where you talk to yourself and you just turn your head like, can't get a show to go more than one season, can you, Peck?

Maybe the common denominator is you.

Fucking guy.

Maybe everyone on Twitter is right.

It's because God has has a sense of humor.

That's why you get these little parts in Oppenheimer and The Last of Us.

It's to give you a nibble, okay?

But the reality is, it's not going to work out for you.

You're a joke.

You feel better?

Who said that?

You feel better?

Ben, your turn.

All of a sudden, you just start hysterically crying.

I feel better.

You should.

You look like Mary.

You were telling me a story.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Let's get sad again.

This guy, great guy named Scott was, because I was playing a U.S.

Marshal.

So they got me a consultant to like learn about.

being a U.S.

Marshal, the oldest federal law enforcement agency in the world, started by George Washington in 1789 or federal law enforcement in the country.

And I asked him, I said, he's telling me about all these things, you know, that all these different times where you had to go and get bad guys.

And I was like, do you ever feel sad?

Like, were there ever times where you felt bad?

Cause he's telling me about all these bad guys, right?

And he goes, oh, yeah.

He goes, I'll never forget that I went and had to pick up.

He said, it was in the 90s.

He said, and there was a kid, 18 years old, kid, who was trafficking marijuana.

And in the 90s, this was a major event, unfortunately.

And it was pounds of weed, not like insane amounts, but enough where this kid was going to get in proper trouble and go away for years.

And we picked him up because we had to.

And we arrest him and we're taking him to the car.

And he looks at me and goes, can I bring my hooked on phonics tapes to jail?

And he's like, and I went home and I cried that night.

He said, that kid came from the worst area with the worst people around him.

He never stood a chance.

And he's like, and I felt for that kid.

And so that's kind of how I feel.

And like, there are just, you know, certain people, certain places in the world where it's really hard to just like pull yourself up by your bootstraps and, you know, get things going.

And so I think it's incumbent on us to help as many people like that as possible.

Totally.

And to clarify my comment from before, there are extremes.

That's an extreme where you cannot just pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

And life is unfortunately, I hope you can even find some happiness in such a dark life, but those, yeah, that's terrible.

Terrible.

Yuck.

You'll have, you're going to have these wonderful moments, you know, as, you know, you have more kids and your kids get older.

And I'm just starting to have them now with Max, who's six, because he had a week off from school and camp before camp started.

And Friday, midday, I usually go to MacArthur Park and we do a Feed the Streets where we feed the homeless lunch.

And so I got to bring him and he really enjoyed it.

It's the first time he came to Feed the Streets and he gave out waters and it was really great.

And I laid in bed with him that night and I said, Max, like, did you enjoy what we did today?

And he said, yeah, it was great.

And I said, this is the real good stuff in life.

Like helping other people is like the real tangible.

Like nothing will make you feel better about yourself than helping other people.

Like and people who are less fortunate than us, because we have our family, we have my wife's beautiful extended family my mom we have a nice house in a nice area like we're really lucky and like this is the good stuff and he was like yeah and I was like

like dad moment

yeah it's it's good and it's amazing if you can instill that early and I like what you said it's not just about other people like I like that you're self-aware enough to say I feel good when I do good

I'm the same way it's it's totally different it's not charitable but like when I give gifts or when I like my love language is cooking food for people I love.

That's loving.

That's giving.

But it, but it's, but it's for me too.

Like I love doing it and I feel good doing it.

And if you can just feel good doing things for other people, I think that's like the ultimate, right?

Because then you'll do it.

You do, you'll do it your whole life.

Like if he can love doing charity for him, then he's the most charitable kid in the world.

This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Applebee's.

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what kind of uncle do you want me to beat a ruby let's talk about this definitely fun like fun

yeah like six flags like take them for the day show him a a good time, popcorn, candy that I maybe don't let him eat, fun, uncle.

Okay.

That's what I want.

That's what I want.

I have another idea.

Okay, charitable uncle.

I want to be Ruby just like got in a hit and run and ran, right?

He ran.

Sure.

And he's like, I can't go to my dad.

Oh, you're the, you're the toxic ear away from father.

Understood.

I want to be the toxic ear.

Yeah.

Like, Great.

Hold on.

Let me go get my shovel.

Yeah, bury it.

You want a roleplay?

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You're in trouble.

Okay.

Sure.

Okay.

You came to my door, right?

Because

we live next door.

My Russian Rubel.

Josh.

Josh.

My Ruben sandwich.

The apple of my eye, Baruch Hashem, my gorgeous, my gorgeous nephew.

Josh, my friend.

Why are you whispering?

Uncle Josh, yeah, I don't know what to do.

I'm whispering because I don't want to wake anybody in the house.

I don't know what to do.

I was recently, I was riding my bike and I ran over a squirrel.

I ran him right over by the neck.

He's dead on the floor.

If I tell my dad, he's such an animal activist.

He loves PETA.

He's it.

He loves PETA, both the bread and the organization.

He loves it.

And I ran over a squirrel.

And

if I tell him he's going to be so sad that I killed a squirrel, he's going to be so upset at me.

Will you help me?

What do I do?

What do I do?

This poor squirrel.

And there's squirrel blood all over my bike.

What do I do?

Ruben, first of all, look at me.

You're 28.

This is sick.

Get it.

Get your license, loser.

No, listen, Rubin.

Rubin.

Come here.

Mishpucha.

Okay, my Mishpucha.

My little, my mentala.

Okay, come here, Tatala.

Tatala, look at me.

Okay?

You came to the right person.

These squirrels are vermin.

You know this word vermin?

This is vermin.

This is an an invasive species.

We've become comfortable with them.

They ruin our parks.

These fucks, Chip and Dale.

No, thank you.

What are they?

A couple?

A couple of losers.

We don't need these fucking squirrels.

Okay.

So listen, you show me where the squirrel is.

That squirrel's good.

Listen, nothing happened.

How about that?

Hey, good news.

Nothing happened.

How do you like that?

I'll deal with your father.

I love it.

And what about the blood on my bike?

Here's a better question.

What bike?

You know you want

want your bike you know you want an e-bike i'm gonna get you an e-bike with the governor turned off you're gonna be going 65 on the van wick wow okay thank you thank you uncle josh thank you

your mother worries she worries too much

excellent

excellent

what kind of uncle would you like me to be same

okay cool same is gonna call me i don't even know what kind of trouble he could even get into um trying to think of like what like what what could he do that would really bother me he up he he loves fire he we lit off some fireworks before the july and he was like yeah

that's crazy we need to talk about that you light your own fireworks were you know worried about jason the year pawing your finger Well, we do it, you know, we leave them on the ground and we use a

barbecue lighter.

So we're kind of, there's enough separation.

and we're not doing m80s we're doing like sparklers and snakes okay sparklers are okay these things they they scare me oh i don't know what it is they scare me what did you eat for fourth of july did you make a spread did we talk about this already we did actually i don't actually i don't want to date us too much because we're we're far away from fourth of july scratch that question scratch it scratch it off take it off what are you having for dinner i just had pants carbonara

i had pastala pants Okay, and I forgot.

It's one o'clock in the afternoon, so that was your dinner.

What are you having for dinner?

That's right.

You're right.

I'm making Josh a gorgeous Branzino.

Let me tell everybody, okay, you're afraid of fish.

You're afraid of cooking fish in the home.

You're afraid that your fish isn't going to turn out as good as you had it in a restaurant.

Of course.

Let me tell you, high-quality fish, all that it needs is olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic, and a little bit of parsley.

That's it.

No lemon.

Tons of lemon.

Thank you.

Correction.

Tons of lemon, including the zest.

You're going to take a beautiful Branzino.

Hopefully, your place can debone it for you because nobody has the time.

A nice fillet, okay?

Put the fillet down on some parchment paper.

You're going to put olive oil, beautiful, the good stuff.

You're going to put like Ina Garten, the fleur-de-sale.

You know, fleur-de-sal, this flaky salt.

You're going to put some pepper.

Yes, you're going to put some beautiful, beautiful parsley, pieces of garlic, and then, Josh, you're going to go in with the zest or you're going to zest the lemon, get it on there.

You're going to juice the lemon, put the juice, you're going to throw it into an oven, 400 degrees, nine minutes, bada bing, bada boom.

That's it.

It's perfect every time.

Gorgeous.

Now, if you go and it doesn't taste good, it's because you got bad fish.

The only thing separating good fish and bad fish is when it's bad.

Otherwise, it's going to taste good.

You're buying old fish.

That's what I'm having for dinner.

New fish.

New fish.

And what about you're having new fish?

What is your, are we doing a side dish?

Are we doing a crisp salad?

Is there any kind of potatoes?

I think I'm going to go.

I have some Brussels sprouts downstairs.

It's a temperamental vegetable, Josh.

You got to cut off the ends.

You got to slice them in half.

It's not so easy, but I have them.

I bought them, so I got to use them.

I think I'm just going to roast them.

I'm going to throw them in that same oven, the 400.

Maybe I'll crank it down to 350, let them get nice and soft.

I'm going to drizzle them with a little balsamic.

I'm easy.

I'm easy.

That's it.

I don't need anything.

Maybe a little side of long grain rice.

You like long grain?

I prefer my grain short.

You do.

I like a long grain rice.

Really?

I do.

Yeah, LGR.

This jasmine-eating motherfucker rice.

I like a long grain rice.

This jasmine.

This basmati-eating motherfucker rice.

I like a long grain rice.

Wow.

Okay.

Listen.

We all make decisions.

Yes.

Yes, we do.

No.

Okay, should we get to a speakpipe?

I would love to hear from a moron or two i would love to share it with you if you want to leave us a message get some advice go to speakpipe.com slash good guys

keep it brief brevity is key let's hear from grace

hey josh and ben i became a moron this year during maternity leave i like to listen while i rock my son to sleep and i have a food related question for you So I live in the south where Chick-fil-A is everywhere.

And it's pretty common knowledge that Chick-fil-A is just different than other fast food places.

You know, the my pleasure, the customer service, the efficiency around here, you're going to get in and out of that drive-through in under four minutes.

Now, Chick-fil-A attributes this to being a Christian company and like being run on specific values and whatnot.

You know, the clothes on Sundays, the politics, all that.

And as much as I hate to say it, you really can't beat the homophobic Jesus chicken.

So my question for you is, if there was a fast food chain that branded itself on being Jewish, the Jewish fast food place what would that look like i'm talking the food the vibes the slogans are they closed for sabbath the business model etc never closed 24 hours

now now where do we want to take this wholesome or anti-semitic

does anyone want

maybe we do both we can start out with anti-semitic first and foremost we are buying everything dirt cheap and charging you a million.

Okay.

You're going to come in.

Our chicken fingers are going to be $39.99.

Okay.

And Josh, I think that

let's start with what

everything is market price.

Nothing's good.

That's good.

It's really going to charge you a money.

How much is a water market price for water?

That's so good.

yeah you damn bilzarian you

oh he's the worst don't even get me started what type of food what are we eating like what are we making schnitzel

okay schnitzel schnitzel place

everything's market price i like that we definitely are charging extra for every sauce Every sauce, okay?

This is not a freebie.

This is a dollar extra for garlic mayo, a dollar extra.

Maybe it's $2.

You ever have those places?

$2?

It's not right.

It should be a dollar extra for sauce.

And we act the way bars do with peanuts, free peanuts.

We do free pickles, but expensive water.

Okay, I like that.

Get people real thirsty.

This is smart, Josh.

High sodium.

High sodium.

And then we do the market price water.

Yes.

Very good.

Right when you walk in, we give you a high dose of sodium.

Maybe right before you walk in, we have them drink josh just a completely dry no water pack of element right just right a shooter a shooter of element right before you walk in and then we charge a mic market price for water 100 100p and maybe and then you also give an option of like do you want fries with that you go like do you want a nexium with that do you want a privacy do you want a pepsid yes yes this shawarma comes with a side of tums now on to the look that's the anti-semitic side and we have dirty drinks right like you get a cherry coke a vanilla coke but then we also have one syrup that is just liquid ibuprofen so yes you could order like a diet coke two pump slime one pump ibu i love that everyone's got a kink in their neck I need a Zyrtec pump just in case it was a day, you know, I don't know, pollen's all over the place.

Yes.

Give me a little bit of that.

Josh, if we were making a wholesome chain, okay, let's talk a wholesome Jewish chain somewhere feed the streets.

Everybody, Josh, we're subsidizing the whole restaurant.

Everybody eats for free.

100%.

Couldn't that happen?

Why couldn't that happen?

I think there's versions of that.

There are.

Isn't there a way in which you could just monetize people being like being able to advertise to people in your restaurant?

Like just make the entire, the food is free, but the entire restaurant is one giant advertisement?

You could.

Absolutely.

You could, for sure.

It's an interesting model.

Food is free.

The thing that advertisers would then argue is: if the people can't afford the food, they probably can't afford what they're advertising.

There goes the Mercedes account.

Shit.

Mercedes just spent 250 grand on a media buy marketing it for people who can't afford chicken.

We got Samsung.

It would be bad.

Now do that.

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Next one from Lauren.

You guys are going to roast the shit out of me.

I just listened to the Rain Wilson episode and oh, I'm just going to be.

Never mind.

She's so boring, though.

God bless her.

There's nothing I love more than when you start a speak pipe and you immediately just have this look of regret.

I know.

And I like, I actually make notes on them and like, and then I, I'm like, really, Josh, that one?

Okay, next one.

Let's see.

Let's, let's do one.

I really want to like, I really want one that's going to change, change everything for us.

A banger.

One banger.

One banger pipe.

One,

a banger pipe.

Okay, next one is from Rachel Rochu.

Hey, good guys.

Sunny love from Nashville, big time moron.

I will keep this quick so you guys don't yell at us.

Would y'all ever consider having a reality show?

Whether it's the two of you doing podcasts, being friends, or your individual lives being married, your kids, whatever that looks like, would y'all ever do it?

Just curious.

All right.

I personally would never do a reality show of like my life, my kids, that stuff.

I would easily do a reality show with you where it's just like us podcasting and like doing whatever dumb shit we do.

That would be fun, sure.

But nobody wants that.

No one wants it.

Yeah, like they want like me, Claudia, Ruby.

They want you, Paige, Max, Shai, like Meyer.

Like that's what they want.

And we're not doing that.

We're not divulging that level of our lives.

I watch The Valley.

And aside from like looking at our gorgeous Kristen and saying, wow, I'm so happy to see our good guys hat.

I'm like, what are you fucking nuts for being on this show?

These people are so mean to each other.

It's so hard.

It's just not worth it.

Like, I don't want it.

No.

What's weird too, and you guys are friends with a lot of reality people.

Like, I'm obviously Kristen's a dear friend, but I've now become, you know, rather friendly, reasonably friendly with other people on the Valley.

And what's crazy is like, when the cameras are off and around us, I'm like, you are pleasant.

You are totally normal.

And I'm like, wow, you're a shapeshifter.

Like, when the cameras turn on, like, you're just keeping an inventory.

Like, how could anyone be friends with Jax?

without being terrified of what's going to come out of his mouth as soon as the camera's rolling.

They couldn't.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you're up on the valley.

Am I?

I don't know.

I don't watch it ever.

I think I just know Jack's problematic.

I watched a couple episodes and I got to tell you, like, I looked at this.

I watched this show and it's just, it's toxic as fuck.

Like the valley is more toxic to me than any reality show I've seen recently.

And I think it's because they're people in their 40s that are real, with exception of Kristen, okay?

Friend of the pod, we love her.

I think, Josh, they're like fighting for relevance and they need this versus like the young 20s like OG Vanderpump.

They don't need that.

OG Jersey Shore, they don't need that.

The older these people get, that's why real housewives is always so mean because these older women like want the spotlight, need the spotlight, need to monetize it.

So yeah, they turn on the lights and they're going to go fucking nuts versus it just like being like, that's why the Jersey Shore was so good.

Because they weren't just mean to each other.

It was just entertaining, right?

Like, same thing with Vanderpump.

It wasn't just mean.

These shows are mean.

The Valley is mean.

Like, all of them are mean to each other, really mean.

And they like make up conspiracies about each other that, like, somebody's cheating when they're not.

It's like, how do you say that when this guy is married with kids?

You're going to make up that somebody's cheating?

Like, nuts.

Yeah.

It's.

So, no, I wouldn't do a reality show with my family ever.

There is no amount of money that would make me do that.

But a fictitious reality show where me and Josh podcast and then go cold plunge and eat a sandwich.

If somebody wants to green light that, I'm in.

But like, Olivia, do you think that, or do you guys think that if you're on the valley and you're in your 40s, right?

Like, do you feel time ticking where there's like going to be probably a hard stop when you're 50?

Because none of them are going to be Lisa Vanderpump, right?

Where they're going to get their own spin-off reality show based on one of them, right?

So it's like, I don't know.

I don't know.

You have like a Gary Vee constantly saying, like, you

60, you're young.

Like, maybe these people feel young and feel like they still have time.

And like, they're desperate.

Like, to an extent.

They feel very, no, it feels very desperate.

They do.

They do.

I feel like, absolutely.

I feel like that's like, to Ben's point, why there is like a lot of meanness and maybe like this attempt to like grab the spotlight and steal it away in whatever capacity at whatever drama, you know, could come as like a cost of that.

But I imagine that that's probably like the ideal, I guess, if that's like creating other avenues of monetization.

Like I imagine there's a certain point, especially like having children, that changes the dynamic.

And I think having families makes it messier and meaner too.

And I imagine ideally they'd love to have, you know, a spin-off show where it's like all about them.

And that can be kind of a, I guess, just like a resource and a career like later into life.

But yeah, I don't know what the likelihood of that actually happening is.

But I'm sure that's like a big driver for drama between that group.

But it's also like,

I love, no one's a bigger fan of Jersey Shore than I am.

I cannot believe the show is still on the air.

And I don't feel, I think they're all so wealthy.

And they, and it's literally, I mean, what, what people have a show on for 17 seasons, right?

Like, it's insane.

It's been on for almost 20 years straight, where, like, I don't feel like any of them feel a compulsion to be messy.

Like, oh, Angelina's acting up again.

Like, Polly's djing foxwoods it's just like snookie is at her daughter's or wonderful daughter's cheerleading competition it's like but it's not it's it's not the most engaging anymore but that's tv in general not to like totally pivot like it's the same thing i always say like enough with the reboots come up with something original like sometimes these studios you would know this better than me but it just feels like they're lazy they know that they have a hit and they'd rather not risk green lighting something that's a complete flop when they have these like six people that people like love cultishly.

And they know that if they throw it up, people will watch it.

Like it's a safe bet.

Should we get to what are you nuts?

We should.

Our what do you nuts moment of the week are our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and small, whatever's sticking in your car.

What do you got, Ben?

Okay, I said a couple of episodes ago.

that I was loving, I had never seen it before, that I was loving this show called Love Island, right?

That I was obsessed, that the season was so good.

Let me tell you, this is the worst fucking show on TV.

Like so, so unbelievably bad.

And the same reason why I was so impressed, oh, an episode five days a week, it's so good.

I need more.

I need more.

I need more.

I now find myself watching it.

And I can't wait till the hour is over.

It's so bad.

They literally, they break up couples.

They do, they, they send home, like the point is Love Island, right, Josh?

So you'd assume that they're trying to find real love.

You have two people that are in a couple.

If you're in a couple, you shouldn't be able to be sent home.

They're sending home people that are in love.

They're keeping people who aren't.

I'm literally, there's four episodes left.

And this show, Josh, nobody's going to find love.

I don't believe any of them.

It's a load of crap.

Woody, nuts.

I think it's just really cute.

You believe that Love Island was going to result in real love.

I thought so.

Like some

love.

So beautiful.

And it's like, no, the show stinks.

The show stinks.

Sorry.

Also, what are you nuts?

I'm just going to say it.

Ariana Maddox is the host.

Josh, we see her once every five episodes.

How much?

Was that the dream gig?

Once every five episodes, she comes in.

Hello, Islanders.

It's time for a dirty, dirty day.

And it's like, I'm not believing that you're like a dirty, raunchy person.

Like, what are you, what are you even talking about?

Like, why are you dressed in assless chaps?

Like, what are you doing here?

Yeah, you're in Chicago.

Go back to your hotel.

We don't need you here for this challenge.

You're staying.

This is a montage, Ariana.

I don't believe you.

I don't believe you.

You're not naughty.

None of this.

And I just need to know what they're being paid.

What is the host paid?

You had a modern farmhouse in Valley Village, Ariana.

There's nothing dirty about you.

And my last comment on Love Island is that one episode, Meg the Stallion, came in and she was like a guest host.

She was amazing.

She was amazing.

Boy, oh, boy, do I hope that she's the next host.

She might be too big.

Like, why would she do that?

But she was so good.

But yeah, this season, what are Nuts.

My woody nuts is, and shout out, I'm not shitting on the profession and because I know a couple and I

love them very much.

Chiropractors.

Chiropractors need to stop calling themselves doctor.

It's misleading.

There is a guy on TikTok the other day that I saw and he's in a white coat in a, you know, doctor's office.

And he goes, I'm a functional neurologist.

And all of a sudden, my spidey sense went, there's some fuckery about here.

This is completely misleading.

It's totally wrong.

You're like titling yourself things that like immediately make people think that you have much higher accreditation than you do.

It's wrong.

It's dangerous and wrong.

What are you nuts?

No good.

It's a no good.

I completely agree.

Do not false advertise, folks.

Do not.

Okay.

Do not do it.

It's not right.

A functional neurologist?

Like, do you know how fucking hard it is to be a real neurologist?

Like, impossible.

How much is it?

It's like 15 years from undergrad to like residency of like completely understanding the brain, clinical trials, clinical hours, time spent in hospitals, like to be able to try to even attempt to understand the brain.

And you're a functional neurologist because you went to two years of college in a strip mall.

Stop it.

I can buy a white jacket too.

It's on Amazon Prime Day, which, by the way, another woody nuts.

Amazon Prime Day, it's not what it once was.

I'm just going to say that.

I don't need an Apple Watch.

And if you don't need an Apple Watch, Amazon Prime Day is not going to pay off.

I'm disappointed.

Am I also wrong?

I feel like Prime Day is like all the time.

No, it's not, it's got to be more than once a year.

That's because you're rich, dog.

But for us regular civilians.

Every day is Prime Day when you got it.

When you got it like that.

A lot of cash.

Nah, dog.

We out here waiting for that cheap oxy clean.

Second week of July.

Tune in.

Be there or be squared.

Did you hold your Amazon gift card for Prime Day?

Because it would have gone longer.

Yeah, babe.

I got plenty.

I got sups coming in the mail.

I got cleaning supplies.

I got newborn diapers coming.

30%.

Love it.

Love it.

Well, folks, this episode, five stars.

Otherwise, what are you getting done?

Oh my God.

Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch us on YouTube.

You should share our clips with friends.

Okay.

Mondays and Thursdays, folks.

We will see you next time.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.