Demi Lovato, Travis Kelce, and Shel Silverstein Exposed?!

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

good guys.

Whoa.

Mazomorans, welcome back to the Goon Squad.

It's Ben and Josh.

Benny and Joshi in Hi-Fi Lo-Fi.

Benny and Joshi

in Hi-Fi Lo-Fi.

Benny and Joshi gooning and crooning.

Oh my God.

You look so good.

You're in a gorgeous studio.

Like, I don't know.

I've just, I've never even, like, I'm looking at your pores.

Like, I've never seen you in this type of light.

You look fantastic.

Are my pores good from my Kiel's retinol micro-dose serum that I just did a brand off with?

You think I didn't see?

You think I didn't see.

I love you.

You, you talk about code switching.

You code switch for ads and I love it.

You just get this like deeper professional voice, like very like, I'm Josh from Nickelodeon, and I'm here to, you know, like the Disney Channel wands.

You're so,

you do.

You code switch on ads.

i'm i'm because i'm a ruined human being

i'm shattered i'm shattered

it was so funny i literally saw it it's like it's like a different octave and

instead of like having a good day how about now it's having a good day america

i'm here's keels which by the way a deal with keels unbelievable what a sponsor I mean, this is the king of hydration, king of skin hydration.

You and I really, we are Kiel's men.

We use it.

We love it.

So it was a natural partnership.

But, you know, the whole sort of bend of this campaign was that we're getting old.

So I was like, I better feel good about myself for this one.

Yeah, I absolutely love it.

Was it a part of the deliverables to throw an invention on the pot?

If it was, it's fine.

It was not.

It was not.

Okay.

I'm just

an incredible partner.

Okay, good.

I mean, look, Kiels, I don't need a deal, but a light, light gifting.

Not a light.

I want, we want a heavy flow.

I just, I just, a little, little bit of gifting.

I love the hand, the hand cream, the, I think the creme de corpse, that's the, the hero product.

My dad is a Bruce Soper is the king of creme de corpse.

You have no idea.

That's like moisturizing with brie.

It is.

It's so thick.

Oh my God.

That is hysterical moisturizing with brie.

And it is that like off, like, off-white color.

It's almost like a, it's brie.

You're right.

It's brie.

It's brie.

Yeah.

It's brie.

My god.

All right.

I don't want creme to corpse anymore.

I don't want to moisturize with brie.

It's too thick.

What about too much?

I'm butchering this, but there's a great moment with Zach Alephanakis in Between Two Ferns where he's interviewing Brie Larson and he goes.

And he's talking about her parents' divorce.

He goes, Did they break up because they named you after fucking cheese?

It's a really crazy name.

Really crazy.

Imagine you were Cheddar Peck.

That's sick.

Or Swisspeck.

Swiss Peck.

Munster Peck.

Munster Peck is good.

Gouda Saffer?

Guddaffaffaffer.

Guddasaffer's hot.

Right?

Right?

Or I'm trying to think of a more

artisan cheese.

Can I bear Ashri?

What are the packs that come in the triangles?

What are the

Laughing cow ashre.

Sargento Peck.

Oh, man.

Josh, we haven't been able to talk about it on the phone, but my mom, the craftswoman that she is, she sent you guys some pretty gorgeous stuff.

You got to see a little inside baseball Avis offer.

What a gift from God your parents are.

I mean, you really lucked out.

And

your parents sent my wife and I the most beautiful gifts for truly the entire family, which was probably the most thoughtful of it all because she knew that not only were our kids going to feel left out if only Meyer got a present, but it happens.

Yeah.

But she included my wife and I.

This woman, she is a saint.

She really is.

And it's funny.

You have to appreciate, like some people don't appreciate a handmade gift, which those people, what are you, nuts?

Like, if anybody makes you something handmade, they actually spend time on it.

Anybody can spend money.

okay?

Yes, if you can spend time, it's a different story.

My mom called me the other day, she's like, I don't know what to get them.

I'm thinking of making them passport cases.

I'm like, you're gonna make them passport cases.

She's like, yeah.

And she sent me, she's like, Do they like basketball?

Do they like?

I'm like, Max likes basketball.

They're like, she's like, what about Scheinmeier?

I'm like, I don't think that they know where they are.

So, like, you can put whatever they want on them.

So, she did like an astronaut or something.

And my mom

handmade passport cases for the packs.

And all I have to say, mom, where's mine?

I don't have one.

She goes, I sketched something on that tub of vodka sauce your father left a couple months ago.

And be appreciative.

Yeah, she's always just, she's the most thoughtful person I've ever met.

Oh, they're amazing.

Has she always been an artist and crafty or as a hobby?

Yeah.

So

before I was born, she was like a full-time painter painter and she would paint and she would sell her paintings.

And then when I was born, she stopped doing that.

She's now like an art therapy teacher.

That's like what she does.

So she'll like teach like special needs kids like through art.

But she's, yeah, she's an artist and a florist.

Like that's her.

She's an artiste.

She's an artiste.

This woman, these

parents of yours.

This is why you don't code switch for ads, which, by the way, is why can we get the best feedback for your ads on the pod and in general, because you feel no pressure to put anything on.

It's so true.

I haven't been able to

really understand why that is.

No pressure.

It's them.

No pressure.

No pressure.

Okay.

You don't like my ad?

Sorry.

No pressure.

But they do like them.

They do.

I just did an Applebee's one recently.

It was so good.

So good.

I love the ads.

I hope you guys like the ads.

I have so much fun with the ads.

If you're skipping these ads and you're jumping, because I know a lot of podcasts people do that, like people who listen to podcasts, they'll just like skip through the ads.

You're missing jokes.

You're missing inside lingo.

Like, I make it as fun as possible.

You should listen to them and listen to them again and use our codes.

People are stupid if they skip through our ads.

I mean, yes, they're awful on every other podcast, but on ours,

they are.

We're giving that extra bit of handholding.

In general, this podcast, and Ben doesn't listen to any podcasts.

I listen two, three hours a day because I don't want to be alone up here.

These thoughts, no thanks.

Yeah, no, I listen to none.

I listen to none.

I listen to the toast like once a year, but other than that, no.

Yeah.

No pods.

Just this one.

This is the only podcast I need.

This podcast, you guys don't even understand how big we've gotten.

Can we talk for a second about what we're doing next week?

Just because I think it's cool.

Yes, but quickly, I want to say when you said that when I do an ad, it's like when people go, hi, I'm so-and-so and you're watching Disney channel.

Did that hurt your feelings?

No, no, I actually have an idea, but I think it would get the wrong kind of pickup for when I,

that I want to do with Drake and I, that I wanted, wanted to do like a TikTok for us doing our version of that, but for Nickelodeon and going, hey, I'm Drake and I'm Josh, and you're watching Nickelodeon and then just spelling out help.

That is unbelievable.

It's pretty good.

That is like a 10 out of 10 joke.

It would go so viral.

That is so funny.

We might as well do it.

Yeah, you might have to lift it from this episode so nobody knows that it's coming because it's so funny.

The morons deserve to have the heads up.

They do.

They do.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Oh, that is so funny.

Yeah.

That would do so.

That would do so well.

I know.

That would do so.

So tempting.

Okay, so what are we doing next week?

Tell the people.

So next week, Josh and I were the only podcasts in the world approached to do a live taping of the good guys from the freaking U.S.

Open.

Are you kidding me?

We're doing a live taping of the podcast at the U.S.

Open.

I mean, that's the coolest thing ever.

It's unbelievable.

We're doing it with the great vital protein shout out, which by the way, my family has been, listen, this mother-in-law of mine, you know,

she's, she's Ava softer coated.

This is how good of a woman she is.

This, this woman loves a potion.

She loves a bits and bobs.

She loves a supplement.

She's like me.

She's trying to optimize herself.

And so am I.

She's been using vital proteins forever.

I've been using it.

I'm very excited to be working with this wonderful brand.

Me too.

And does she love, does she love like extra gifting?

Like you obviously get gifted way too much.

Like, is she appreciative if you were to drop off loose gifting at her house?

Because when I tell you,

I would say that 99% of brands that send something to me, straight to Ava.

It doesn't even hit me, straight to Ava.

She loves any and all of it.

Any and all of it.

Sometimes you get too much gifting.

Do you send it to her or not?

Because these are civilians, Ben.

They're not, they don't.

Yeah, they love it.

They don't get to taste the fine caviar of life that we, we're.

We're getting sucker punched with caviar left and right.

We get more than our fair share.

But these women, these pillars, the shoulders that we sit on, they deserve some free element packs too.

They do.

And they deserve more than that.

Element should really exclusively be gifting mothers.

We should put together a Mother's Day campaign.

We need to find more than, we have four moms, right?

Four, five moms, Barb.

We need more.

Maybe we like crowdsource.

The last time I did this, I ended up Venmoing people that didn't deserve the money.

I'm off this.

I'm off this train.

I know.

Bobby Hoffman was on the podcast.

I agreed to send Venmos to people that were broke.

I ended up sending Venmos to people that probably had more money than me.

I'm so easily scammed.

That's a problem because people do deserve it, but we can't vet them.

So when I get a couple hundred DMs a day about, hey, can I get 900 bucks for my rent?

I want to be like, yeah, but can you prove it?

So I'm not giving you $900 to buy the new Nintendo Switch, which I want and is sold out everywhere.

100%.

You can't trust them.

You can't trust them.

So yeah, we're going to do nothing for moms.

Fuck them.

And

no, we love moms.

Mothers are just, mothers are just everything.

Like,

to watch Claudia with Ruby, it's so, it's so crazy, unbelievable what women can do.

I know we talk about that every week and everybody's like, shut up already.

We get it.

But really,

it's so amazing.

We could never.

We think we're great.

We could never.

Nah, we're great, Ben.

You have no idea.

We could be great with that.

Okay, we could.

We could do it.

We're fucking spectacular.

Okay, thank you.

Men like us, you know, we're rare.

The reason why we're so great is how rare we are.

So, you, what you're saying is right.

You're, you just happen to be listening to two exceptions, which is our next podcast, two exceptions.

How two,

yeah, how two quietly gay men are posing a straight

in the closet with Ben Soffer and Josh Peck.

Love it.

Love it.

Oh my God.

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This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Element.

Folks, you know we love Element here at the Good Guys podcast.

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Hi, I'm Sif Heider, the founder of Array.

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Remember to subscribe.

We drop new episodes every Tuesday.

So, see you then.

Josh, can I tell you something about this past weekend?

We took the beautiful Ruby to a carnival.

Okay,

a gorgeous benefiting the firefighters of the Hamptons.

Every ride, every dollar, everything went to the fire department.

Josh, this carnival was so fucking expensive.

Oh, I can't.

No,

I can't even tell you.

I spent $500

at a carnival on, these are like the scariest rides ever.

By the way, if you go to carnivals, don't let your kids go on these rides.

Okay.

This is my what are you nuts.

I'm doing it early.

These rides, they're going to die.

They set it up this morning.

They haven't QA'd the atomic alien in 250 years.

Don't go on them.

Way too scary.

But I went.

I did a couple of like the ring tosses.

I did the basketball game where you can never get it in the hoop because they make the ball bigger and the hoop smaller.

Josh, three shots, $20.

Nuts.

I got a piece of corn, corn on the cob, $12.

The most expensive carnival.

That said, benefited the firefighters.

I'd love to see the receipts.

I'd love to see the new fire engine that was bought, making sure that it didn't just line the pockets of the organizers.

That said, carnivals are fantastic, Josh.

You go, you eat, you play, you ride.

I ran into the fat Jewish.

Josh, love him.

He was there.

He was there.

He's the best.

We gave a nice hug, and in true Josh fashion, he said, come a little closer so our dicks can touch.

Because that's just him.

Josh is the best.

And I'm going to, it's so, I'm so glad you brought this up because I almost forgot.

I he's the best.

He's the best.

So the fat Jewish Josh famously talks about that in the 80s, his mother had sex with Shel Silverstein.

Yes.

And the famous kids' poetry illustrator and book author for books like Where the Sidewalk Ends

and whatnot.

So it was funny.

The other day I was at Barnes ⁇ Noble, which is one of my favorite places to go with my kids.

And we were just going through the book section.

I was reading them, Where the Sidewalk Ends.

And on the back, and give me a second, you have to see the back of the book and Shel Silverstein's author photo for a kid's book.

Okay, it's coming, it's coming, it's not here yet, it's still sending.

Money, this is on the back of a kid's book of poems: Shel Silverstein's author photo for where the sidewalk ends.

Oh, here it is.

It came in.

Oh my God.

oh my god worth the wait absolutely google that that is

i mean

that man definitely slept with josh's mom like no question like he's he's out there serving not just

the bad jewish

oh sorry

yes the bad jewish i don't know maybe barb threw him one a fun time they went out to carnegie delivery maybe maybe shell's your dad too

maybe who knows i know can you imagine i've told you the story of oh my god my mom listens to the podcast you want to hear the story of my conception yes

from what i know i'm going to leave a lot out because i don't want my half brothers and sisters to find me but from what i know my mom went met with my dad for like a like a business kind of like he was like come over we'll chat we'll talk business So she went to his apartment, they talked business, they hooked up, went to the famous Carnegie Deli after,

had pastrami.

Wow.

All right.

Wow.

And then

she didn't tell me this till I was in my late teens.

They went back and did it again.

Oh, said horrible.

Mike, it's horrible that she told you that.

It is horrible that your mom

put that image of her shtooping your dad with Russian dressing coming out of the crease of her lip.

That's funny.

Oh my god, that honestly is unbelievable.

You think they used Russian as lube?

Too much.

Too much.

Too much.

I'm sorry, Barb.

Too much.

She's like, hold on.

Before we go back, let me down this cell rate.

Oh, my God.

Legendary Carnegie deli.

Not there anyway.

The famous gigantic sandwich deli of like, I mean, for many years, that was like, that and Katz's were the two marquee delis of the city, right?

Yes.

And now it's just Katz's.

And then you have the bastrami queens and you have the second halves, but these are more low-key.

No, yeah, Carnegie was, Carnegie was up there.

And now Katz's, I know we've spoken about them.

It's just so impressive how much pastrami they can sell.

So much pastrami.

they crush so i'm thinking now because we are doing the us open i'm flying in monday night i'm doing one of those like long hauls get in midnight monday night

so i'm not away from the family long then we'll meet up at the usop at 9 a.m we're hanging out recording till like two now you are bringing the wonderful claudia and ruby which i can't wait to meet the young ruby but i'm assuming we're not going to be doing dinner at parkside after now because you're going to be hustling back to the old hamps correct this is a, all right.

This is this is unfortunately,

this is a business trip.

We could meet at Parkside for breakfast.

We could go there and have a quick spaghetti a la vangol at 9 a.m.

if you want.

Can you imagine if we had linguine and clams at 8 a.m.?

I mean, sounds wonderful.

I agree.

The only thing that would be better is if we had sex before and then after.

Oh, yeah.

So the U.S.

Open, I have been thinking, you know, there are some just delicious bites at the U.S.

Open, and maybe we incorporate them.

We'd have to get the approval of vital proteins, I guess, or maybe not.

Like Kokodak has their chicken caviar set up again.

Alex Garnishlli has a restaurant there.

Maybe we bring the best bites of the week from the open into the pod.

Or maybe we just save that for our solo pod that we do separately.

That's hot.

That'll be fun.

That's hot, right?

And what's a famous green drink that I'm not allowed to drink because it's alcoholic, but it looks Jewish.

Josh, this is the, if you were to break, okay?

Maybe I can.

Of course, I'd tell you, have a Spritz society.

That said, before that, you have to have the honeydeuce.

Yeah.

The honey deuce is the most delicious,

somewhere between, it's almost sure, like, it's, it's in the spirit of a Shirley temple.

I think there's some grenadine in it, but it's honeydew flavored and it's, it's a spritz.

It's like a soda i i don't even know what the what the liquor is it's like a plum liquor i think oh this is this is delicious fantastic

fantastic drink the honey deuce that the us open has they sell so much honey deuce i wonder how much they actually sell how much do you use chat gpt by the way i do it a lot i i i i appreciate what a good friend it is I use, I haven't used Google in six months.

I like it.

I don't, I try not to get it to do, you, do menial tasks for me, like write emails for me and whatnot, but it's so interesting, right?

Because, like,

I have, you know, like five or six things that I've written over the last, you know, couple of years in different forms of finished.

And when I've asked it to read like 30 pages from something I feel really good about and is good and done, and then 30 pages from something that's definitely a work in progress, there will be a marked difference of ChatGPT.

Like, ChatGPT will know, it's always positive, right?

It's always like, you know, it gives positive reinforcement.

But one, it will be like, this is ready for people to see.

Here's why.

This is all these things.

And then the other thing will be like,

here are ways in which to possibly clean up some things that might be not working.

That is, that is a spectacular way to use ChatGPT.

I have never thought of using it to read long form.

I'm

equally disturbed as I am astonished that it can do that.

I shouldn't be, but considering they're literally using it to like, for the Air Force, obviously it can read a script.

It's just crazy to me.

Okay, so I asked ChatGPT, honeydew sales at the U.S.

Open.

As of 2024, the U.S.

Open sold over 550,000 cocktails.

Wow.

Since its debut in 2007 total cumulative sales have surpassed 2.8 million honey deuces that's not dollars that's units units

2024 each drink price of 23 bucks they did 13 million in sales on just the honey deuce during the last us open

i mean

it's it's yeah and they serve it in this gorgeous souvenir cup josh you don't over you don't pay more for the cup it's priced in I always hated when they do that.

You go to a ball game and they're like, hey, do you want your Carvell in this sad cup?

Or do you want the Yankee helmet or the Mets helmet?

It's like, obviously, I want the helmet, but why are you giving anybody the cup?

Just price it in.

Only serve the helmet.

Price it in.

They price it in and they give you, Josh, they make perfect circles.

They must use like the teensiest ice cream scooper.

These little honeydews.

They put them on a toothpick, put it on top.

This is the perfect drink.

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Let's rank the water, let's rank Melon through the Jonas brothers.

Okay.

Okay.

Watermelon, Joe.

Joe.

Joe.

Yeah, watermelon's Joe.

Yeah.

I would say that

what's the most second most popular

melon.

Cantaloupe.

Cantaloupe.

Is there even a fourth melon, though?

Like, I'm down for Frankie Jonas to be honeydew, but we need three.

Kevin is honeydew.

Kevin's honeydew.

And Frankie is like a passion fruit.

Shout out, Frankie.

Shout out the Joe Bros.

Dude, my wife is like about going to go see them when they come to LA.

Like she wants to go see, you know, I know you're going, right?

I told you no.

The concert that I said that I wanted to go to, that I obviously couldn't go to because I have Ruby was the one where they brought out Demi Lovato.

You saw those clips?

That hurts.

I missed being a part of the cultural zeitgeist.

That's a big word.

I could have used that word there.

I could have turned to my peers peers and said, we're in the zeitgeist.

Yeah.

You know?

And they would have said, get out of here, old man.

Zeitgeist sounds like a very elite Nazi fighting force.

Like, Zeitgeist.

Send in the Zeitgeist.

That's huge.

You know,

I'm friendly with Demi Lovato.

She's always been very nice to me.

Like in our 20s, we hung out a bit.

And

I'll never forget, you know, know those just moments i'd love to hear if you have one of these with claudia i have like

two of these with paige where obviously like i'm not i don't think i'm that guy where like i hype myself up if anything i i feel at arresting pretty bad about myself at all times but you know i'm dating paige and we've been together now it's like i think we had already yeah we had just gotten married so it's like 2017 and i'm in vegas doing a brand deal thing and she's there and she knew and i had mentioned demi over the years maybe two or three times like oh yeah we've hung out a couple of times mutual friends really she's very nice and uh so anyway part of the brand deal was we had to go watch uh demi's concert at uh at the hard rock

so we go and and it's not had to we're excited and uh and so we're there and i'm like oh I wonder if randomly I'll see her or something.

And Paige is like, oh, wouldn't it be funny if?

And I'm like, yeah, really funny.

I'm like,

I'm preparing myself to be completely forgotten and ignored, which would not be Demi's fault.

That would just be natural for someone that famous.

And now we're like really close, right?

We're like three rows away, and she's performing and crushing it.

And then I don't know when it happened, but like in the middle of one of her songs, she sees me and like points to me and waves.

And I was like,

You see that baby?

She made the real celebrity.

You married big, big man over here, Paige.

You know what I'm eating $20 on the blackjack table?

There's more where that came from, honey.

Paige is like, why seeing Demi Lovato?

Did it make you code switch to being Russian?

You see that page?

Me and the Demi.

We are.

Two P's in a pod.

Oh, man.

That's a great podcast name.

Two P's in a pod.

That's got to exist.

Does it?

I don't know.

It's pretty good.

It sounds like something that Dear Media would green light, and it's not, it's not in the green.

They're losing on that one.

Who's starring in two P's in a pod?

I don't know.

It's just some horrible influencer couple.

Someone terrible.

Just terrible.

Should we get to some stories?

We should, but quickly.

Why didn't we get Demi Lovato on the podcast after this performance i forgot that you were chummy no shade on chicks in the office wonderful girl wonderful girl wonderful girls love them they they got demi we could have gotten demi again we're the biggest podcast in the world just under joe rogan getting literally live at the us open we should have had demi just saying

i'm gonna put this out there and here's the thing we are as big as some of the biggest podcasts but here's where we're different we're

menses we are a good the wonderful isabella merced we were dming after she came on the show and she just said she had had a wonderful time on the pod because this is what we do we we honor our guests we're so lucky to have them this is what we do and you won't know it until you're a guest on the podcast sammy lovato but we give a wonderful gift bag too maybe there's a rolex in there Maybe there's just free snacks from Dear Media.

You're never going to know unless you get here.

Maybe it's a Fig Newton.

Maybe it's a Patek.

Who knows?

But you won't know until you're here.

The problem is, is that we don't really have a proper booker to go get these fake guests.

No, we don't.

But the other problem is, is that in my business email, I get emails from these bookers.

And every time I'm thinking about getting one, I then get an email from one of them pitching me for me to be on one of their podcasts.

And I go, This is what you get paid for.

we exclusively recruit a list talent josh would you like to come on the pod

a list

that's so funny you are alis no i'm i'm i'm a good podcast guest but like you know what we need we need a guy who knows a guy like we need somebody who's like in the ear of a couple really cool people and if they can if they can deliver we'll give you a thousand right jack Reed can't do this.

This is the definition of Jack Reed.

No, it's Jack Reed.

I love you, Jack Reed, but I don't know.

He can't do this.

He doesn't have...

He won't win.

Would we want Trey Kennedy?

No.

Shout out Trey Kennedy.

Nice guy.

You know what I'm saying?

We're going for the live.

I'm not paying $1,000 for Trey Kennedy.

And by the way, and Trey Kennedy wouldn't be offended by that.

What do you think, Trey Kennedy?

What do you think his bounty is worth?

$100?

He's a wonderful, talented young person.

I'm a big fan, but we need some like, I mean, look, Taylor Swift's going on Travis Kelsey's podcast.

It's going to break podcasting.

By the way, that was so epic.

I couldn't even believe it.

I was looking at him like, are you real?

Or is this AI?

Good for you.

She just like, she doesn't even, oh, yeah.

So good.

So good.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

No, that will end up being the most listened to podcast episode of all time.

Taylor's just never done a podcast.

What's fascinating is as great as that is, and by the way, this is is not a criticism of young Travis.

This is a criticism of the artistic direction of GQ Magazine.

Did you see that shunda of a GQ photo shoot he did?

I think I did.

Again, to reiterate, big fans of him and Taylor.

I love their love.

And

you know, he is an athlete, so I wouldn't expect him to have any input on the artistic direction.

But whatever this was, and I can say this because I'm just never ever going to be in GQ Magazine.

This was wild.

Yeah, I saw this.

I did see see this.

Insane.

Right?

Yeah, what the hell?

It's just not serious, but it's also not.

Is this our first story?

Because it should be.

It is.

Travis Kelsey in GQ

wearing...

I don't know what the hell he's wearing on his head holding an alligator.

Even

is that?

That one isn't bad, but I'm going to send you...

Just scroll through these, like, these five.

Oh, this one's terrible of him on the, what are they?

Water skis?

The hover skis?

The hover, whatever the fuck that's called.

Oh, sweet Jesus.

If you guys haven't seen it, Google Travis Kelsey GQ shoot.

This is a must-see.

You know who would have done really great in this shoot instead of Travis Kelsey for GQ?

Who?

Josh.

The fat Jewish.

The fat Josh.

Yeah, the fat Josh.

Not this, Josh.

So never mind.

No, you would have looked out of place.

Josh, the fat Jewish, would have looked perfect in all those shots.

Travis Kelsey, you got to just like throw him in, I don't know, vineyard vines.

Let him be handsome.

He's a good looking kid.

Exactly.

Yeah, let him be handsome instead of this like grungy.

It was weird.

Very weird.

Like, if they had, you're so right, Ben.

If they had done like a New Mexico shoot, like proper Ralph Lauren, Ralph Lift shits in Taos, New Mexico, gorgeous double RL, some car heart.

He's clean.

He's clean.

He's normal.

He's clean.

He's clean.

It should have been Tom Ford.

Tom Ford for Travis Kelsey.

Put him in a sick suit.

Would it look great?

No, this is too much.

No good.

They were trying to go viral.

Too often are brands trying to go viral, okay?

Stop trying to go viral.

It'll happen or it won't.

Just because you try doesn't mean it's going to happen.

I was thinking about doing a sketch about the American, what's it called?

The Sidney Sweeney campaign?

American Eagle.

American Eagle.

So now, like, the head of American Eagle, the CEO is like, okay, so we crushed this one.

We got to top it.

What do we got?

And just an ad exec goes, okay, next level, Sidney Sweeney's got great

genes, G-E-N-E-S.

And it's just guys named Gene.

She's just hanging out with dudes named Gene in full death.

It's good.

It's fun.

I love it.

Like, it's fantastic.

And then they.

Most of them will most of them will be 95 years old alta cocker jews but you'll have a couple you'll have a gene simmons you'll have who else who have other genes gene simmons gene smart gene smart

great

i love it i'm in is that not amazing yeah it is instead yeah it's american eagle has great genes and it's just a bunch of genes that's good josh that's really good and american eagle if you steal this, okay, just acknowledge that we came up with it.

Okay, we don't need money.

Scratch that.

We need money and we need recognition.

It's a fantastic idea.

American Eagle has great G-E-N-E-S and they're a bunch of genes.

So good, Josh.

Well done.

Well done.

Thank you.

I know.

Should we get to a speakpipe?

We should.

If you want to ask us a question, get some advice, go to speakpipe.com slash good guys.

Don't give us your what are you nutses.

They're not great.

Keep it brief.

Brevity is key.

Let's hear from eleana

hey good guys i'll keep it brief because i know brevity is key but my family and i are all obsessed with you guys and i want you to come to my wedding with that being said

my fiancé and i both have last names that are super jewish and both end in man just three letters apart i always thought i'd keep my name like my mom did but mine's a pretty basic jewish last name and now i'm torn So this question is really for Ben.

How did that conversation go with Claudia when she decided to keep her last name?

Was it a thing or was it a non-issue?

Love you guys.

Thanks.

I think it's a little bit unique because my wife is super famous.

Like I would never want to do anything that would hurt her like recognition in her career.

I think that when Ruby goes to school, like we've always discussed that like she'll be...

Like it's like Mr.

and Mrs.

Saffer coming in for parent-teacher conferences.

So like she's not formally changing it, but she's going to use it when it matters.

Ruby's last name is, is Saffer.

Like, I think it's more, it's more career-driven than anything else.

That said, if you want to keep your name, I think that the tougher conversation for the guy, or at least for me, would be if she, if you don't want your children to have your husband's name.

That would be a much harder conversation for me.

But personally, I don't care.

Like, if you want to go by Claudioshre or Claudia Ashre Saffer or or Claudia Saffer, it doesn't matter to me.

So I think it's just more what matters, what matters to him.

I don't know if you feel differently, Josh, but

I think it's a case-by-case.

I feel no need for it.

Funny enough, I have Paige in my phone as Paige O'Brien because it's the way that I met her.

And so it makes me happy when I see her name come up.

It like reminds me of when we first met that I never changed it.

But when we got married, she got rid of her middle name, made her last name her middle name.

So she's paige o'brien peck so it's like yeah that's a good medium too yeah totally so i think it's it's whatever feels comfortable but i think that if you want to keep your last name you should keep your last name like if it's something that makes you feel really sad that you're like losing a part of yourself yeah don't lose it i actually really like what paige did like the the hyphen hyphen it's essentially a hyphen it's a joke you could replace the middle yeah

but yeah whatever makes you feel comfortable you shouldn't feel like you're losing something just because you're being with somebody else next sorry if it does it sound like i've a frog caught in my throat all of a sudden i'm having like an allergy attack

take two zirtek quick i took one this morning hello hello okay

that's better that's better that's better that's better next question from i mustache you a question

Pretty good.

Hey, good guys.

Huge moron here.

I have a question for you.

My husband has decided that it's the year of the mustache.

He's like fully grown it out, handlebars and everything.

He's obsessed with it.

He spends like all morning grooming it and everything.

I personally prefer him without a mustache.

He's usually like clean shaven, but he likes it, whatever.

My question is that my brother's wedding is coming up and he's decided he's going to keep it until the end of the year.

So he's going to keep it for the wedding.

I'm just wondering, do you guys think this is like a trend that's going to fade and we might look back and regret it or should he just stick with it?

I know it's kind of hard to tell without seeing his face, but people are kind of like 50-50 split on whether they like it.

But he listens to pods.

So just wanted to know your thoughts on this mustache trend and what to do on a big event like a wedding.

Love you guys.

You're going to look back and think you looked so dumb.

Like

it's like me during COVID.

I tried to grow out a beard.

There are some people that are built for beards, just like there are some people that are built for mustaches.

Mustaches don't just come, okay?

You're built for a mustache or you're not built for a mustache.

You're built for a beard or you're not built for a beard.

I tried to grow up my beard during COVID.

Claudia would say, Can you shave?

Can you shave?

And I'd say, No, I'm growing out my beard.

What do you mean, should I?

Why should I shave?

I look great.

I look back.

I look like literally homeless.

Like I can't, because I can't grow a beard the way that people can grow beards.

Some people, they grow in really nice and thick.

Mine was all patchy and just like so yucky.

If your mustache looks truly amazing, your wife would know that, I think.

So for a wedding where you're going to take pictures, I think you're going to look back in five years and wish that you didn't have it.

Josh?

I agree.

I think unless you're a pilot, a bounty hunter, or like the CEO of an Indiana-based company, I think it's probably going to be hard to pull off the mustache.

I know it's fun.

Here's the thing.

Those photos are forever and you won't regret being clean, classically shaven.

And then bring the mustache back.

But my issue with mustaches and facial hair in general is like, don't make it your fucking personality, King.

Unless you're born that way.

Do you know what I mean?

You're either born mustache man or you're not.

There are like six people that are born mustache man.

You walk into a bar and you meet an old Texan with a handlebar mustache.

Sure.

He came out that way in the fucking womb.

Okay.

He didn't decide one day I'm going to grow out a mustache to piss off my wife.

That's not the way that it works.

He was born with facial hair.

100%.

That's all.

Are you born with facial hair, Bub?

I don't think so.

You got to pick.

Shave it.

You got to pick and choose.

I remember I was when I did that cold weather western in Romania.

We had full beards,

the timber.

You can see it.

It's not great.

And me and my friend James, the other actor, he was like, oh, you know, I'm going to go to Istanbul with my girlfriend before I fly back to LA.

You know, it's only an hour flight from here.

We should go.

And I said, great.

And so I went and we had these big bushy beards.

And so we both decided to just shave a mustache in for our trip to Istanbul.

And it's the best decision I ever made.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

Walking around the Grand Bazaar, me, a half Sephardi Jew walking around Istanbul with a mustache.

I felt like I was in the Mossad.

Yeah, it's the best if you can do it.

Right.

I can't do it.

I can't do it.

I look really dumb.

Really dumb.

Meanwhile, Bruce Saffer, without his goatee, he looks naked.

Fair.

He looks fantastic with it.

He was born to wear a goatee.

Me?

No T.

Some are.

Goatee, no T.

Next one is from Lizzie.

Hey guys, Big Moron, Big Toaster, probably one of your few Canadian non-Jewish listeners.

And love you guys so much.

You're my comfort podcast.

I just really appreciate everything everything you guys do.

Always bring a lightheartedness to my day that is much needed.

I'm going to get right into it now.

I am a friend of Bill, so I am sober.

I stopped drinking when I was 24.

I'm 28 now.

And my dilemma is a lot of my friends I met after my addiction or wasn't really close with during my addiction.

So they treat me like I'm some holier than thou.

Goody two shoes,

like that they have to hide a part of them around me.

Like they have to hide their drinking stories, have to hide when they're hungover, have to to hide if they had a big night and

I'm like hey I can hang I used to drink for more than all of you combined I love it that was the problem so I just want to be like not awkward or them to feel not awkward around me sometimes they'll offer to not drink or they won't drink when they're around me and i'm like hey like it makes me more awkward that you're not drinking so please do and they always decline even though i know they want to anyways and so just any advice on how to handle that situation would would be amazing.

And Ben, I would love to hear your input too.

Love you guys and BH.

Love you.

What a, what a wonderful woman.

BH.

You want to go first, Josh?

Sure.

So in case anyone's wondering, Bill Wilson is one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous.

And it's sort of our little code in the world that if you say, oh, I'm a friend of Bill's, or sometimes you might hear it like on a plane or

an announcement made like, oh, is anyone here a friend of Bill's?

If someone's struggling with their sobriety?

And you can kind of say like, hey, how can I help?

Yeah, look, I think it's just a really clear and honest conversation.

Like set the record straight.

So going forward, you know, that if they still act like, you know, and God bless them for being almost too empathetic and too sensitive that they want to honor your sobriety, I think that's like a net positive.

But when it gets a little bit overdone, I think you can just set the record straight.

And then if they keep going overboard with it, you kind of go, it is what it is.

I've clearly communicated where I'm met and what my needs are.

Conversely, I mean, people have really funny reactions to it.

I remember my buddy Brian for years when I was sober, he would be like, one day, bro, I'm going to have to get sober.

And he did.

And I remember being like, I hope it's sooner than later, briar.

And

he's doing great.

I've also had friends, me and my buddy Len who are both sober.

We've been around, especially like Russian cats going to parties and stuff.

And they'll be like,

they'll, like, you know, like, they want you to drink, they want you to do drugs, or at least the crowds that we hang out with.

And uh, and when you say, like, actually, bro, I'm sober, and then you say, like, I have some substantial sobriety, they'll be like,

bro, no,

had no idea, bro.

And then they'll pour a shot and go, I want to toast to your sobriety.

God bless you, homie.

I'm going to do a bump in the bathroom to honor your 10 years, homie.

Okay, thanks.

And then it becomes a lot.

Don't let this fool drink.

Give me his drinks.

This fool is sober, dog.

Pretty good.

That is so funny.

I have a slightly different thought, which is, I guess it depends on the environment, but like

when we go out to dinner, have I, maybe I've had a drink once, and that's not because

I, I don't want to drink alone.

Sure.

Like, and maybe that's just like me not having issues with drinking.

I'm a very social drinker.

I'll never drink.

I don't drink in my house.

I don't drink alone.

I'm not, I just, that's not fun for me.

Like, what's fun is I'd love to go to that party with that guy.

and take a couple of shots of whatever uh one dollar vodka he's not stoly what's the what's that classic classic Russian vodka?

Stoli.

Stolich nine.

No, no, no, there's a cheaper one.

I don't remember the name.

It like burns like gasoline.

There's like a classic plastic bottle Russian vodka.

Oh, is it something nauve?

I could probably ask ChatGPT, but you know the bottle that I'm talking about if you went to college.

And

I

yeah, so I think that it's

no.

Okay.

No, I don't know the name.

But look, the moral of the story is like, if all that your friends want to do is drink, they might not be the right friends for you right now.

But

I think that great friends have fun not drinking always was just my only comment.

Like, I, just because I do drink doesn't mean that we can't have fun when I'm not drinking.

You're not real friends if you only have fun when you're drinking.

You realize, like, once you come out of it, I'm sure you have this.

Like you had your party friends, even me not being sober.

I'll look back 10 years ago when I drank a lot more and went to clubs like i had people that i only spoke to when i wanted to party and you misconstrue party friends for real friends and then you realize like your real friends you can like go on a walk with with your kids or go to a game or go to dinner and it doesn't have to revolve around drugs and alcohol

so true should we get to our woody nuts We should, even though I gave mine earlier, but I'll double down on it again.

Our Woody Nuts moment of the week are our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and small, whatever's sticking in your craw, Ben?

I just, these carnival rides, okay?

These carnival rides, first of all, you go to like a six flags, Josh, you go to a Disney World.

They have height limits, weight limits, age limits.

These people, you give them 10 bucks, you bring in your newborn to this thing.

It doesn't matter to them.

Like the second that you step foot in there, there's no

liability anymore.

Like these rides are so scary.

These rides are so dangerous.

It is a complete what are you nuts to let your children on these rides.

Sorry.

Do not let your children on local carnival rides.

Even the Ferris wheel gives me a little bit of the heebie-jeebies because you're so high up and they put it together today.

It's a traveling carnival.

What if they missed a screw?

Like it's not like it's erected.

What a strange word and sits up there for years, right?

Right.

Like it's not like at the end of the night, Josh, at Disney World, they take down the Ferris wheel.

It's there.

Imagine packing it up and putting it back together again.

If I asked you every day, Josh, for the next 365 days to build a Lego, break it down, put it back together again, you don't think you'd lose a piece?

You'd lose.

I do.

You'd lose.

I think you'd lose some pieces.

Okay.

And what if that piece is literally what's keeping you in the air?

Don't.

Don't.

You're going to die.

Okay.

Don't.

What are you nuts?

Okay, my what do you nuts moment of the week is the other day I saw a license plate holder on this car and it said Guam, where America's day begins.

Because I would imagine on

the date line that Guam is the closest to the dateline and thus

America, because it is in American territory.

The day begins in Guam.

To which I'd say,

Wow,

Sick.

So dumb.

Oh,

damn.

I didn't know.

Like,

okay, Guam.

What are you nuts?

Like, this is nothing to be proud of.

Nothing at all.

This is nothing at all.

Completely nuts.

You know what else I love, Josh?

This podcast.

Yes.

And if you don't give it five stars, what are you nuts?

Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch us on YouTube.

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Mondays and Thursdays.

See you next time.

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