British Food, Baptisms & Bar Fights

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

the good guys.

Whoa.

Muslim ones, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast.

I'm sitting here with the great Naomi Ben Soffer.

And I'm sitting here with the great

Oshbeck.

Yep.

God.

There's just one.

There's only one.

Is there more than one?

Like, when you Google your name, does somebody else pop up?

For a while, it was me and this doctor.

Okay.

Now it's really just me, which like lets me know that like Google is like doing its thing.

Like I'm, I'm still, my Wikipedia is still husband of Claudia Oshri, which, like, if you're if you're somebody at Wikipedia, like, it would be really nice if we could talk about that 100%.

You have gotta get changed.

Yeah, I got nothing.

Husband, like, crazy.

I'm nothing more than a husband.

What?

Do you

to you, Google?

I don't like, listen.

How much of our listenership is toasters?

Probably all.

No, I disagree.

Just kidding.

I would say, I would say

50%.

overlap.

50% overlap.

50%.

And I feel them falling off.

I don't think they're sticking with us.

Now,

I think we have a very wonderful, very specific demo.

And they're called people who eat at four.

Okay?

They're the older.

They're the seniors.

They're the mothers and the fathers.

Yes, they are.

They are.

It's a mix.

My great cousin, Peter, a great Italian prosecutor from New Jersey, he'd never listened to the pot.

He came over and we had a wonderful brunch the other morning when him and his lovely wife were here visiting.

And he said, I've been listening to the pod.

It's funny.

I said, see, if we can get a guy like Pete, a good Italian kid from Jersey, we're winning.

We're winning.

And you sprinkle in, by the way, our first live caller needs to be our friend from Pakistan.

Okay, the Josh Peck OG from Pakistan.

Totally.

We need him.

But if we can mix in the 56-year-old Italian man,

nice 45 to 55 year old jewish woman from long island and the og stan from pakistan my god the og stan from pakistan the original the original og stan

i love it from pakistan i just

pakistan

pack pack og stand pack og stan

God do I love that.

How good is Pakistani food?

Amazing.

Amazing.

Amazing.

Fantastic.

Yeah, it's great.

How great is Indian food?

Beyond.

You know what?

I actually...

Anything with spices, like we need more spices.

If you're not exploring spices, okay?

My favorite new spice, not that anybody asked me, my favorite new spice is a nice North African spice.

It's called Harissa.

Okay.

I'm putting Harissa in freaking everything.

A chef showed me you'd make like a nice, you put Harissa on the outside of Ahi tuna josh before you grill it.

It's phenomenal.

So I took it up a notch and I said, said, what if I put Harissa in my tuna salad?

My God, this is unbelievable.

A plus.

You need to experiment with spices.

You should name your next child that, Harissa Safar.

Harissa.

Harissa.

I love it.

It's like Teresa, but spicy.

It's like Teresa.

It's like Clarissa.

Harisa.

What do you think about when they do the,

and they do it a lot with Smash burgers where they like basically dip the entire burger in mustard and then fry it?

Have you seen this?

I have.

I saw recently, I didn't know they did that with smashed burgers.

I saw somebody recently do it with like a steak.

You're just marinating the whole steak in mustard.

Josh, I think it's a big waste of mustard.

Using too much mustard, at least what I saw, it was like a mustard bath.

Yeah.

You didn't need that.

Just like coat the outside.

You do one dip, but yeah, I saw him like put so much mustard.

I thought it was a waste.

The profile, the flavor profile, is it elevating?

I can't imagine it elevates it more than mustard powder, Josh.

Like, why wouldn't you use if you want the taste of mustard, the same way you do salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, why wouldn't you use mustard powder?

It would stick to it, it's far less messy.

I don't really know how you get that char or that grill that you're looking for with the mustard.

I guess it works with a burger, but I feel like you're just like cooking it off.

I love a smash burger,

so delicious.

The caramelized meat.

Oh my God.

With the special sauce.

But a real good Smash burger, they've got to do very thinly sliced onions where they fry the burger in it, right?

Yes.

That's key.

Yes.

Mandolin, Josh.

The mandolin.

Yeah.

It's not unbelievable.

It's not womandolin.

Sorry, Olivia.

It's.

It's mandolin.

And this is a kitchen gadget.

Again, not the US, but Orisa and a mandolin.

Buy a mandolin.

You know why it's changed your life?

Because it's stupid.

It's a stupid device.

Of course, it's essential.

Of course, the appliance called a mandolin is the thing that could put you in the hospital quickest.

So true.

So it is stupid.

You're so right.

No, they shouldn't sell them without gloves because you literally, you're at the end, you're doing the end, and you're like, just one more push, finger off.

All done.

Take it.

All done.

No,

I also saw a steak being

in a mayonnaise bath, a mayonnaise bath, and then grilled in the mayonnaise, which I guess is just fat on fat, right?

It's just.

Yeah, you know, that one I actually like more because the secret to a good crust is mayonnaise.

If you're making like grilled cheese and you want it like golden on the outside, shmir a little mayo on the outside.

It's the key to a golden crust.

So I have to assume, Josh, that it would also be the key to a golden crust on steak.

it's just like butter it's fantastic true dad love mayo I love mayo well I want to get to a moron mail really quick because you did set me up beautifully for it and we love our uh moron mailers who have just the cutest little accent so hold please because this is important this is from anonymous moron mail

Hello, Josh and Ben, English moron here and toaster, calling from London, England.

I'm not sure if you've ever been to the UK before, but we're not really known for our cuisine, but I think personally that you can't beat a toad in the hole followed by a spotted dick.

Yes, these are real dishes here, by the way.

But my question to you two is, if you ever came over to England,

what British food would you really like to try and why?

Cheerio for now.

Bye.

I know what toad in the hole is because we have...

Toad in the hole is you crack an egg in we call it like rocky mountain toast or like that's what it is it's a piece of bread you cut out the middle and you fry an egg in it it turns into like a just a delicious breakfast that's toad in the hole it's kind of like a hillbilly croque monsoor sounds delish yeah i'm in what is a spotted dick

I've never heard of that before.

It's me in the mid-2000s.

No.

It's a traditional British steamed pudding made made with suet, dried fruit, typically raisins or currants, and often served with a custard.

Yuck.

That's delicious.

No.

Looks like a tall, like pound cake kind of.

I don't discriminate against desserts.

I'm in for a spotted dick.

I'm also in for a spot of dick.

Yeah.

Why not?

I'm gonna spotted that dick.

I'll take two of your finest dick.

I um it sounds like a it sounds like a gay dude from the Bronx goes goes to the UK and is trying to hook up like trying to cruise like like yo son, let me get a spot of that dick

I'm out here acclimating, gee.

I'm climatizing my G.

some dick on the barbeet.

No,

Dr.

What was I going to say about, oh, oh, British cuisine.

So, you know, I follow Bosch.

Do you follow this guy, John Bosch?

You've told me about Bosch before.

I was going to say, I don't know what British cuisine is, so I find it difficult to answer this question.

But let's talk more about Bosch, because I Bosh is a good man.

Bosch is the best.

And so, first of all, and I'm going all-inclusive with British cuisine here because they do so many other different ethnicity cuisines so well there.

First, I would have to eat at the Blue Orchid, which is his favorite Chinese spot, and I'd have to have Hong Kong prawns and chili beef, special fried rice,

chicken chow main,

prawn bowls.

I would have to do it all.

And then

after I went to the Blue Orchid, he famously eats pie and mash but it's so it's the old school like they're meat pies then a bunch of mash then they put on the um the liqua the liquor which is like a green parsley gravy it's kind of interesting then a chili vinegar and then he does it old school british style with um stewed eel which missed me on that but yeah but the pie and mash sounds amazing yeah so i guess like because that's what i was thinking like when you think of American cuisine, sure, we have the melting pot of all of the best of everything, but American cuisine is what?

Burgers, fries, hot dogs, like that's American.

So when she said British cuisine, I certainly wasn't thinking of like the number one Chinese restaurant in Britain.

Well, actually, I'm down.

Yeah.

Okay.

Fish and chips.

Love.

I love a fish and chip.

If that's technically British cuisine, I'm all over that.

I was thinking just like, don't they just eat like beans on toast?

That isn't that British cuisine.

Is it?

Oh, yeah, it's fabulous.

You never really had it?

No, no, I've never really thought.

And I love, I love a bean.

Beans are great.

I would.

I would.

Interesting.

It's a perfect balance.

So what you do is you go to world market.

You have those in the city?

No.

There's got to be somewhere where that like a British food supply store where they have the green cans of Heinz beans, the British beans.

They're kind of sweet,

but it's like a sweeter baked bean.

And then you just do a beautiful toast with butter on it.

Then you cook up the beans with a little salt and pepper on it and you just pour it over the toast.

It's amazing.

I can't tell you how good it is.

My sister-in-law, Taylor, loves it.

So I need to try this because I think you know this, Josh.

I now bake my own bread.

And let me tell you, my sourdough journey, I am just, my bread is fantastic.

I have a fresh loaf loaf at home a gorgeous fresh loaf so i will toast up some bread i'll get these sweet beans i'll put the sweet beans on the bread i'll try it i'm in bab i'm not going to discriminate against it i'm in what else is a british cuisine shepherd's pie it feels more irish but yeah shepherd's pie uh

that's that's just like a like a beef kind of like pot pie situation, right?

But I think technically shepherd's baked mashed potatoes on top is shepherds.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Fantastic.

That's an advantage.

A Wellington, a beef wellington, which I've only heard about.

I think it's a myth.

That's like the Gordon Ramsey.

Like, he rolls it.

I mean, he covers it, bakes it in

the puff pastry, and it's like a filet mignon that's puff pastry.

It seems incredibly unnecessary.

But like,

like, I guess I could, I guess so.

Like, I love just like a filet mignon.

I need to roll it and puff pastry.

Yeah.

Seems like a little nut.

You know what else is very american a deep dish pizza

deep dish right what are your feelings on deep dish or do you want to save it for the pastry i'm kidding

my feelings on deep dish maybe this is just such a new york thing came and went with pizza uno

i loved pizza uno this was like This was like it, okay?

You'd go, you'd get a deep dish.

Yeah, Chicago style, but this is what we did in New York.

And the second that pizza uno went out of business, in my opinion, so did the deep dish.

I'm sure they're still serving it in Chicago, and you can get it, and it's great.

But in New York, it was pizza uno or bust.

Have you been to Chicago and had like giordanos or luminaries?

I think

no, there's no Eric's.

I just thought it was Luminatis.

That's what it's called, Luminatis, Lumo, Luminatis, Lumoni, Luminati, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

I've had that, yes.

I have had that fantastic.

I like, look, if you're gonna to have delicious bread, delicious sauce, and delicious cheese, this is a combo.

I actually, it's probably an unpopular opinion.

I love like a focaccia style pizza.

As long as it's good.

Roman, yeah.

I'll take my sourdough, put great sauce, great cheese, throw it in the oven, and it'll taste delicious.

Like I like bread, sauce, and cheese.

That said, if your sauce is no good, if your cheese is no good, then you, and your bread is no good, you have a problem.

But if it's good, deep dish made right is fantastic.

You agree?

Yeah, I like cafeteria style pizza.

Like I can, I can appreciate mostly all of it.

I don't know if you've ever had a slice at 7-Eleven, but sometimes 7-Eleven fucks.

I probably have.

And I'm sure that place and time and place, it's all fantastic.

It's all fantastic.

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What was your growing up?

What was your go-to frozen pizza?

Ooh, go-to frozen pizza.

I don't think we did the frozen things that I did were like lean cuisines.

When we were like trying to be skinny and I would have like nine fettuccine Alfredo lean cuisines

and have diarrhea for a month, like that, that wasn't keeping me healthy.

or skinny.

I don't, I didn't really do frozen pizza.

I think like in the city, like there was never really a need for frozen pizza.

There's pizza everywhere.

You did frozen pizza?

Sure.

Yeah.

We would get it from the 99 cents store.

So one out of four, you'd get food poisoning.

But

we, but we did like, you know, the red baron or the celeste.

Celeste was super hot and super cheap.

And then somewhere in the 90s, they dropped DiGiorno, and that's really when my cholesterol spiked.

Like that was, that did me in.

I've never had, of course, you know, it's not delivery, it's de giorno there's a there's a as a brand now as a marketer ben is a brilliant entrepreneurial mine is it's not delivery dijorno one of the great catchphrases ever of all time of all time yeah okay crushed they crushed and it also goes to show you if you have a great line you don't even need a great product i know that line and i have no idea if their pizza is any good it's not delivery it's dijiorno sick so sick it's so good i do have it's funny in our fridge i never ate frozen pizza, but I actually have frozen pizza in our fridge now.

Claudia loves this company, Cole87.

If you've heard of them, they are like amazing, amazing, like classic, like Italian style pies.

They're like small, thin

sauce, cheese.

Nepalatano.

Yes, exactly.

Delicious, delicious.

That said, we literally live next to

New York has some of the best pizza, period.

So I don't know why you need it, but what's good, what's good pizza on the east side?

Is it like on Upper East Side?

Is there Scars up there?

Yeah, I like just like a classic.

Maybe this is like my version of

eating frozen pizza.

I like Ray's.

I like like these like classic, like there are like those like really popular John's or Joe's or Scars or what's the one that your friend also owns, the one with the Prince Street?

Like there are these places, of course, but like I think it's very hard to find a bad slice in New York.

You'll look at the place and if it looks scary, don't go in.

Right.

But if it doesn't look scary, the pizza is going to be good.

Like

I, yeah, like I like a, I think the place near me is Ray's.

There's another one like called Little Italy Pizza.

even though it's nowhere near little italy it's delicious 90 blocks from little italy

literally but it's it's delish.

Oh, man.

How's the pizza scene in LA?

I know it's gotten better.

Is it good?

Yeah, we have.

So, funny enough, I just ate at this new place that Portnoy gave it like high eights and said it was a contender.

The best,

in my opinion, and there's actually it's very easy to get now.

There's multiple locations.

Portnoy put them on the map and they really deliver is prime pizza.

I think it's the best.

Yeah, we incredible.

We agree.

You go to the one on Santa Monica Boulevard.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

I'm bleeping that.

Yeah, put that away.

So, okay, so Olivia knows what's up.

But then there's two places.

There's a new spot called Flower in Brentwood.

Quite good.

Quite good.

Very busy.

Could use some more staff.

U-R or W?

I think.

F-L-O-U-R or F-L-O-W-E-R.

Like Flower or Flower.

F-L-O-U-R.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

Just making sure.

Yeah.

That makes more sense.

And then there's

Apolinas, which are Apollo,

Apolina.

I think it's Apolinas

on Wilshire and La Brea.

Unbelievable.

Very difficult hours, like almost intentionally so.

But see, that's why their pizza is great.

What I was going to say, any place where you're going and you're able to get a fresh slice of pizza, This is going to be delicious pizza.

More often than not, you're not getting fresh pizza, especially in the city.

Like these are made in the morning, put out, reheated.

It's just not the same.

If you can get a fresh pie, that's why the constricted hours, that's key, Josh.

It's because they know your pizza can't be that old.

Meanwhile, this little italy pizza, even though it's fantastic, they open at nine, they close never.

So I don't know.

Like, I don't know when they made that pizza.

Like, and it's still good, but imagine if you got it when it first came out.

Wow, it's actually called Apollonia.

So, I want to give them their hype on LeBray and Wilshire.

Apollonia.

And now, with Kimmel Gon and state-sponsored media, in, I just want to say, my favorite pizza is Dobrik's, located in West Hollywood.

It is

so delicious.

Thick, thick slices.

Yum.

How is the pizza?

It's good.

I like it.

Yeah, it's fine.

It's like totally good.

It's

so sweet.

He gets a lot of heat for it.

So it was an easy one.

I saw him.

He has a chip brand that looks yummy.

Have you had those waivers?

I haven't.

No.

They look good.

Yeah.

Listen.

Like, this is like, is it only sold at the pizza place?

No.

I would imagine he's knowing him, he's going to get it put everywhere.

Could you imagine you guys do a spritz and

dough chips

collab?

I love it.

I love it.

Sitting next to each other in a display at target

i'm in i'm in josh we should make a chip i actually had somebody approach me the other day he's been white labeling granola so he has for forever he's like i love whitewashing i love white labeling

but he has no brand josh should we make the brand around the granola but i love granola i'm i'm nuts for nola but is that our catch it's good nuts for nola what are you nuts oh no we need a nuts brand.

Fuck planters.

They never paid us anything.

You know, it's a fucking layup for them to sponsor what are you nuts.

Fuck you, planters.

We should make a nut competitor.

Oh, I love it.

But I've recently been feeling that nuts are bullshit.

You think so?

Am I nuts for this?

They're nuts.

I think so.

Josh, leave.

I know they're so calorie dense.

They're so calorie dense.

Like, don't fucking know.

I know.

I know, but like.

I'm drinking a shot of oil.

The next time you're hungry, Josh, pick up a, I know I just said fuck planters.

Pick up a salted planters.

Take a nice scoop in a can.

Salted peanuts in a can.

And my God, is it delicious?

So good.

But yeah, no, it is.

It's basically drinking oil.

You're right.

My mother-in-law makes, Ben, it would knock your socks off how good this granola is.

It is so beyond good.

What did she put in it?

So she does it.

And she recently said have you noticed the difference i said

no it's as good as ever she goes i stopped adding sugar wow she just uses maple syrup as a as a light sweetener i believe maple syrup but it is so beyond good but she she gatekeeps it You know, she'll be like, I brought some over.

I said, thank you.

And what granola will I be eating tomorrow?

Because this is no longer going to be here tonight.

And she goes, well, I'll see you in six to eight months.

It's like, Stacey, we need more.

And you have no idea what's in it.

Is it nuts?

It's a mix of nuts and oats.

And

it's just fabulous.

There isn't a bit that isn't crunchy.

And that's why it's great.

That's the key.

Yes.

Very crunchy.

Very.

And is she throwing a little dried fruit or no fruit?

I don't think she does dried fruit, but I agree.

Granola should have a misophonia scale, right?

So it should say, if you are married to someone with mesophonia, my wife, you might want them to leave the room with this granola.

It's a 10 on the misophonia scale.

I need fruit in my granola, Josh.

I need a dried fruit.

I need the best I've ever had.

I had a granola that had a little bit of dried pineapple in it.

Oh,

this is a tropical paradise.

Tropical.

This is a tropical paradise.

I love a dried cranberry.

Fantastic.

I love anything, any dried fruit.

I'm dried fruit.

Yes.

I'm dried fruit.

100%.

Me, dried fruit.

Guess what I did Saturday night?

Because

there's no one like me, Ben, Olivia.

I want to know.

And then I'll tell you what I did Saturday night.

I want to know.

So Saturday night, my buddy Josh, who we worked in the show Turner and Hooch together, he produced it.

And so when we met five years ago, his son Noah was, I don't know, I guess it would have to be eight years old.

And he was really sweet and really cute and a big Josh Peck fan.

Shout out.

Respect.

So cut to five years later in May of this year, Josh writes me and says, listen, Noah's having a bar mitzvah.

I don't expect you to come, but he would like you to be invited.

So if you by chance have nothing to do mid-September on a Saturday night, you are more than welcome to show.

I said, when and where, when and where, my boy.

Smart.

So cut to

Saturday night.

It's

seven o'clock at night.

I've just put down the second of my third child of my three children.

And I go, it's no one's marbled.

I literally just remembered.

I'm like, I go check the invitation real quick.

I didn't RSVP.

I'm like, I'm just going.

I'm like, I didn't, I'm not having a meal.

Who cares?

And so

it was going till 10 o'clock at night.

I put down

Young Max and I showed up at 8.30 at night and let me, the reception, these people, the appreciation.

Now, granted, 13-year-olds are no longer my demo.

So Noah was taking me around going, do you know who this is?

He's a professional actor.

And his buddies were like, is this, I don't know, is this Takashi 69?

I don't know what the fuck this is.

But you know what?

We had a fun 45 minutes.

I went to the photo booth.

I met the grandparents.

It was super cute.

And I'm really glad I went.

See, this is why you're the best.

This is fantastic.

And this is the right move.

That said, now you got to start showing up.

I'm sure.

Do you know how many morons would love to have you at their wedding?

And do you know, and do you know the way you would be received, Josh?

Do you know the way you would be received?

Not this is some actor.

This is the actor.

This is him.

Can we put it out to our very wealthy listeners that you and I will go to a wedding for the right price?

Yes, we will go to a wedding for the right price.

Okay.

What's that price?

That price is

only to be discussed on the back of a napkin and pushed across the table.

It's $100,000.

That's fair, right?

And you know what?

We'll pay for our own plane and hotel.

I think that's the right amount of money, depending on where it is.

And as long as I'm safe, I'm not going for a hundred grand to your wedding in, I don't know, somewhere random and scary, you know?

Okay.

Because who knows?

But

Missouri?

Dayton.

Sure.

Sure.

Dayton.

Home of the Wright brothers and home of the

wheel.

And home of the

bicycle factory.

not me

home of bicycle factory

home of the wheel

super cute yeah i'm in

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Saturday night, Josh, can I tell you what I did?

Yeah.

In case I look like I'm in pain this morning, it's because I'm in pain.

Okay.

Friday night and Saturday night, again, we've been in Ruby Land.

Ruby Bliss.

Ruby Bliss.

The second my wife stopped drinking when she was pregnant, I also stopped drinking.

I'll have like, a spritz or like a like ought drink every couple of months.

It just like it hasn't been my thing, Josh.

Friday night wedding, Saturday night wedding, Sunday night uh, baby shower that was also like a party.

Oh, I am hurting.

Saturday night, your boy got drunk as a skunk.

Whoa, drunk as a skunk.

Oh,

and I'm still, let me tell you, I'm feeling it this morning.

I am in pain.

My bones are inflamed.

I shot up 10 pounds on the scale.

Ouch.

10.

And it was really fun.

Sounds it.

What's it look like when you're shithoused?

How do you act?

I get like dancey, happy, funny, unfiltered.

That's me.

That's me.

Really unfiltered.

Really unfiltered.

Olivia, you?

I'm about the same.

Yeah.

I love to just add fun, giggle.

I do, the Russian accents start to come out sometimes.

Yeah, yeah, we try to be careful with that.

Um, no, but just fun.

And I get like very, not overbearingly lovey-dovey, but I will make sure that you know that I care about you.

Me too.

Me too.

I'm like, you're an awesome person.

I love you.

And they're like, we're doing it.

You're great.

Me too.

The accents is so real.

Should we get to moron mail?

Moron Mail.

Nice.

And we have a big announcement with moron mail.

So we think it would be fun to do some live call-ins where we get to interact with our morons face-to-face or at least ear to ear.

So here's our thoughts.

Sometimes when we do a moron mail, we want to get a little more info.

We want to do a follow-up.

So when you go to speakpipe.com slash good guys to leave your message or ask for some advice, make sure you leave your email.

And we might choose one of you to call in a new episode.

I love it.

I love it.

It's fantastic.

Yes.

Make sure to leave your email.

Make sure you leave your email if you want to be on the show.

Very exciting.

And it might just happen.

At the very least, you might get to talk to Olivia.

Maybe.

If you're lucky.

If you're lucky.

Okay.

So our first piece of moron mail is from, ooh, this is something I did this weekend.

Let's go to anonymous.

So

I am going to keep this short and sweet.

I'm a big fan, but let's get to the point here.

So my friend from college was at a baptism today and she texted us and was like, oh my God, Josh Peck just walked in.

And I was like, oh my God, like I'm like the biggest fan of like his and Ben's software's podcast.

And

long story short, she like didn't want to know who you guys were.

She didn't like even say hello and tell him that like I'm the good guy's biggest fan.

So I need your advice because I think I should end our friendship.

No, not actually, but like, more people need to know about you guys.

So, I'm just spreading awareness.

And, yeah,

love you guys.

Love you.

That is a shame.

That said, Josh, there's nothing worse.

I'm happy on your behalf that she didn't come up to you and say, Oh my God, my friend is your biggest fan.

Fair.

Don't

care

all that your friend is my biggest fan.

Sorry, it's just not endearing at all.

If you want to perhaps record a video for the friend or maybe a call or a FaceTime or something, that's fun.

That's that's cool.

When somebody comes up to me and says, oh my God, my girlfriend's mother's housekeeper is your biggest fan.

I want to say, what are you nuts and shake you and shake you?

That said, the fact that you didn't know who Josh Peck was, what are you living under a rock?

The fact that you didn't know this podcast?

what are you living under a rock okay there's a beautiful man in pakistan that knows this podcast you don't know this podcast what are you living under a rock that's a news segment what are you living under a rock love it yeah you know this was my first baptism and let me tell you i think i have the tism

because it was a lovely series

you put the tism and baptism yes i love it That's a great episode title.

Putting the tism and baptism.

I really think that I do.

My wonderful nephew, the beautiful Gus, was baptized.

My wife's sister Blake and her husband Will.

And it was short and sweet.

It was nice that everyone got dressed up.

It was nice to be in this gorgeous church.

Priest did a great job.

He was like, I must not be doing this right because none of the kids are crying.

None of the babies cried as they got their little, got their dunk.

And

the best part was as we're standing there, because this is just our people, Ben, a guy sidles up to me with like nice size beard and built like you and me.

And he looks at me and he goes, nice to have another Semitic brother in here.

So us.

It was like, oh my God.

I told you the story about how I met my now best friend the first day of college or no?

No.

I literally walked up to him.

I'm like,

this might be weird, but like,

pretty sure you're Jewish.

I'm Jewish too.

We should be friends.

It's literally exactly like what that guy said, Semitic.

So funny.

Are there

a big non-Jewish contingency at yeshiva?

Sorry.

So I went to, for those that don't know, I actually went to City College Baruch

for one year before transferring to yeshiva.

So this is at Baruch, which has some Jews, some Pakistani, some Indian.

It is a full-blown melting pot.

Full-blown melting pot.

It is funny, though, that you're saying that about City College Baruch.

Totally.

So I met.

It's very, it's really Baruch.

But it is actually spelled Baruch.

It's so funny.

I met another Jewish kid at City College Hot Dog.

At City College Kinesh.

I can't believe I met somebody Jewish and Kefilta school.

That is so good.

Yeah, dude, a baptism is fun, fun, fun.

I thought it was really fun.

So you pour water on their heads.

I've seen videos where they like literally, it looks like they're drowning them, which is not this.

Like, this is just, you're just supposed to put a little water on the head, right?

That's a baptism.

Yeah.

So why do some people, Olivia, maybe you know the answer to this?

Like, why, why do you see some videos where they're like literally putting them in a dunk tank?

Like, is there any Orthodox, right?

Like Greek Orthodox?

Perhaps.

Um, I'm not entirely sure about the like distinction there, but I know, like, if you're a grown-up and you're doing it, like, you're, you can get dunked underneath.

Like, the, you know, you go all the way underneath.

It's like a spiritual cleansing of the sin.

Sure.

But for the baby, I don't...

They don't do the dunking because the baby doesn't know how to hold its breath underwater, I think.

Right.

But

I've seen videos where they like take babies and they like.

they dunk them.

They really dunk them.

You usually see it, I feel like in more of like a different style, like a Greek Orthodox church or,

but it's, yeah, it's, those videos are amazing.

But this was, uh, and this is also

the, basically you're sort of committing the child.

to be brought up in Christ and Catholicism.

And then this is also when the god parents are sort of given their distinction.

And because I grew up with a godparent but i think it was just in title because traditionally it's for them to help shepherd that kid through their sort of like religious experience right yeah i i also grew up with grandparent with uh godparents in title only right i think that was like uh like when you want to be like nice to a friend or something yeah um but they're not like an uncle or an aunt but they're really close like at least that was my experience i also had fake aunts and uncles you have any of those like uncle have just yeah it's it's just like you're not my uncle Like,

you're factually not my uncle.

Like, Uncle Russell, love him, my dad's nephew.

Not my uncle.

The opposite, but he's uncle.

But you're going to, like, when you meet my kids, you're going to be Uncle Ben.

Just because like, then,

because it'd be weird for them to call you Ben.

And then it also, like, if you were an adult who wasn't close to me, you'd be Mr.

Ben with my kids.

So,

so I feel like if you're close to me, I'm giving you an aunt and uncle title.

Yeah, no, you should have it.

But then we should also, we should change the name of an actual aunt and uncle.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, what should they be?

Like

my sister's brother or my

mother's brother.

I love that formal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

This next one is from.

Imagine we just spoke to everybody like that, like in a full family tree style.

Like, oh, my, my sister's son's brother.

Good to see you.

It's my sister-in-law's son, Gus.

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This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Shopify.

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This next one's one's from Ashley.

Hi, big moron and toaster here.

I'll be quick.

Revenue's key.

So, this girl from my high school gets engaged.

So, happy for her.

The photos go up.

She's in a blue dress and they're in like this nice location.

And then I guess friends and family show up.

They bring her a white dress and she changes, has a little photo shoot, whatever.

Like, pretty typical to have a post-engagement photo shoot.

But then she posts a full carousel with two down-on-one knee photos, like same location, same pose, literally same backdrop, just one in the white dress and one in the blue dress.

Like, did she make him get back down on one knee for the outfit change?

And then to post both versions, if she only posted the white dress, like fine, like I respect the hustle, but to post both back to back, I truly thought I was losing my mind.

I even texted my friends, like, are you guys seeing this too?

Or like, am I actually hallucinating?

What are your thoughts?

What are you nuts, or am I nuts?

Let me know.

Love you guys.

You're nuts.

Who gives a shit?

Like, you're

you're you're nuts and like this is you sound lovely but like i hate like

i don't know like can't we just care a little bit less like it's the girl's wedding she did what she did like she was happy we don't always have to like be even though like

it's fun to be negative i totally get it but like i don't know who cares actually this isn't it's not even that I literally I don't care I don't care do you care

my thought on it is and i'd be interested to hear olivia too because i'm sure you have plenty of friends um

is that this is the problem with um digital photos and film costing nothing nowadays pictures used to be special because there wasn't an infinite amount And so like there would be that one great photo of like grandma and grandpa when they got engaged or mom and dad like and you know, it's like one photo, right?

Because it just, if you were lucky, you got, you know, it just the idea of having photo shoots for everything There's a literal photo shoot for everything nowadays.

And so I think in general like we just don't care because we see too much of people Totally and when somebody brings their camera out

That's special like my sister-in-law Margo she has like I don't know what this like special camera is where like it just every fucking picture looks amazing like that's film Versus, yeah, on our phones we can document everything and it's no longer special at all.

I would prefer quality over quantity but it sounds like i mean and just in general like i mean there's a photo shoot for everything like you said and people want to like make everything like this big beautiful moment i think in this instance it's clearly a very special thing for this woman and to ben's point quite frankly who gives a shit like you know what what how how she's taking her pictures or what she's wearing but then it's also like yeah she put it out there so i don't know i think that's just a broader thing with our culture though where people just like think they're really important all the time yeah you know so yeah like you do

what people do think that they're too important that really is what it is like people think they're too important nobody gives a rat's ass you should do this because it's your first because it's ruby's first year on earth what are you guys planning a christmas card oh um

holiday we should we should you should No, I like a Christmas card.

Let's throw Ruby on Santa.

Like, that sounds great.

Yeah.

You know?

Or like me and and Claudia dress up as Mr.

and Mrs.

Claus, and he's just beautiful baby.

It's like, so I'm in.

Yeah, no, we should do that.

I wasn't planning on doing it.

I'm doing it now.

And it's going to be full Christmas theme.

Love it.

Love it.

Love it.

Love it.

Love it.

Maybe we'll rent, like, can you rent like a sleigh?

Is that a company?

Like, rent a sleigh?

Sleigh.

A sleigh.

But again, like, I want to see Ruby all done up and new family.

When you have new kids, definitely.

But like, you know, they'll be like, asher's eight

and dina's 11

and there's their boy scouts shut up

yeah no sometimes these christmas cards they have newsletters on the back of like here's a quick update with what the family's been up to don't care if i need to find out from your yearly gift card no i i you miss me we're not that close No, but I do think we should get back to, do you guys do a yearly card?

No.

Sometimes we miss a year.

So we'll like do every other year.

And we've had new kids.

I like a yearly card, but not one,

not one that gives me an update on you.

Maybe it's like one that I'm trying to think, like what could be multi-use.

Like, what could you use this photo for?

I don't know.

Selling real estate.

You know, we just, we just put our house up.

Happy holidays.

Also, if you're looking for a five-bedroom.

Or we just like put a QR code that scans to listen to the podcast.

Yeah.

Happy holidays, by the way, in case you need something for your commute.

Yeah.

Listen to good guys.

Yeah.

I like it.

That way we can get the podcast to pay for it and we can write it off.

You see?

Please.

You see?

All right.

Well, our next moron mail is from Lee.

Hey, good guys.

My name's Lee.

I actually thought it was really funny how Ben a couple weeks ago was talking about if there was a girl named Lee and a girl named Haley in the same room and someone said Haley like who would turn around because I've literally done that for someone named Haley.

Anyway,

my question is,

I

have a good friend who is essentially copying my wedding.

I got married on a cruise this past May.

She was there.

And after the cruise, she decided that she wanted to do the same exact thing for her wedding

to her boyfriend at the time who she hadn't even been dating for a year

so now she's planning on getting married in June 2026 on the same exact boat to the same exact destination and my question is

do I approach her on how weird this is for me?

Like, I should be flattered, but I just find the whole thing very strange.

And it's kind of making me uncomfortable just because

she barely even knows this guy.

I barely know him.

And they're just essentially copying the whole

same exact wedding.

So, do I approach her on how this is making me feel uncomfortable, or do I just be fake happy and know that my wedding can't be topped anyway?

Thanks for your advice.

Well, two things.

The first is

okay, so first and foremost, Lee,

I also think similarly to the past speakpipe, moron mail, excuse me, that you shouldn't care.

You went first,

and I hate to break it to you.

You didn't invent the cruise.

Totally.

Like, this like isn't, you don't own the cruise.

You're not the first person to get married on that cruise.

Like, I get that maybe it feels a little weird for you.

But you should be flattered.

And your idea was not original in the slightest.

Like, at all.

There's nothing original about any of your plans.

You've definitely worked with a planner who worked with thousands of people before you.

Like, there is...

Nothing original about what you did.

So you being offended that she took your unoriginal idea and is pretending that it's her original idea when they're both unoriginal ideas is a complete woody and nuts, and you're spending too much mental energy on it.

You should move on.

All I have to say is that this is what I imagine getting married on a cruise ship is like.

Oh, also, they're both terrible.

Oh my gosh.

It's like, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Peace out, hey, Tam.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my God.

Sorry, the party deck just started.

And have you seen these cruises recently?

Like,

oh, they're a mess.

Like, there's like chicken being thrown everywhere.

Like, I've seen some crazy videos.

Like,

there's like chicken in the pool.

Like, you don't want that.

No, there was, you're referencing the video of the people fighting over the chicken tenders on the cruise ship.

Yes,

yes.

Yes, insane.

There were people fighting over chicken tenders on a cruise ship.

It's just, yeah, I mean, a cruise ship wedding is insane.

And that's perfect, right?

It's unoriginal.

I would almost say

the best way to get over it is.

to be 100% helpful and of service to your friend because you did it before.

You know exactly what's going to come up, right?

Where someone booked the stateroom with the veranda and they're on level L8, you know what I mean?

And like, how much dramamine you have to pack for all your guests, right?

Like help your friend.

Like you literally walked through this a year ago.

And I think by you being, and by the way, in case there's any crossover amongst friends and family who are going to be at both weddings, they know what's up.

They know you had the first wedding.

They know what's up a thousand percent.

But the more I think about this, Josh, it's like being upset that somebody got married at the same hotel you did.

Like, that's why the hotel exists to make revenue off of doing weddings.

Like,

I don't know.

Also, like, the last thing, sorry, this is just like a personal thing.

The last thing I would ever want to go to is a wedding on a cruise.

Yeah.

Don't invite me.

Like, I don't care who you are.

If you are my best friend and you put a wedding on a cruise,

I won't be there.

Olivia feels bad.

Are we shitting on this girl's wedding too much?

No, the only thing I agree with everything that you said.

I'm sorry.

But

the only thing that has stuck out to me about what she said was like the, the, it seems like it was a quick turnaround with this guy.

That's like a red, like the guy that she's getting, her friend is getting married to.

Right.

I would spend more time making sure that your friend is feeling secure and happy in like this new relationship that seems to be moving kind of quick.

I don't think like

all like she's not copy, maybe she's copying you, whatever.

Like that is kind of besides the the point she probably had a great time at your wedding like you know wanted to do the same thing but what sticks out to me is the fact that like it's all happened very quickly she's your friend you know keep an eye on her check in with her make sure that she's doing okay but also it's like her life and uh i don't think you need to care that much about it it's her life and you don't need to care that much that's the takeaway That's the takeaway.

She's doing something quick.

She knows that.

You don't need to tell her.

Like she got, she met a guy, got married.

Like

we spend collectively, we all spend too much time thinking about other people's problems.

It's their problem.

If they want help, they're going to ask you.

And like, I'm, I, I did this for so long, like trying to solve, you can't solve the world's problems.

You can't.

You can't.

Like, otherwise, you're just going to drive yourself fucking nuts.

Speaking to that, Shui Guitar, what are you nuts?

What are you nuts?

Ripes, people, places, things.

Whatever's sticking to your craw.

Josh, you got one.

Our what are you nuts moment of the week?

Here it comes.

Oh, I ran into a buddy the other day at a restaurant.

Hadn't seen him in a long time.

He's with his lovely girlfriend, and we're talking, catching up.

And he just,

he felt the need to explain to his girlfriend who I am.

And I just was like, yeah, no, no, I could just be your friend, man.

And he goes, you know who this is?

And she goes, yeah, yeah, I know.

And he's like, man, like, this guy is an influencer.

I was like, I got to go.

And, like, I know that he was just trying to like say nice things about me, but he's like, this guy,

he be influencing.

And I'm like, I got to be leaving.

So, you know what?

Just say, this is my friend so-and-so.

Nice to see you.

What do you, hunts?

What is it, Josh, about the word influencer that is so awful?

Like, like, really?

Like, it just, it's such a terrible word.

When somebody says, are you still influencing?

Hey, this actually happened at the

baby shower I was at.

Somebody said to me, are you still blogging?

Great.

God damn it.

Like,

it's so good.

I don't know why it's so bad, but I totally agree.

Completely nuts.

My what are you nuts moment is I thought I made

like

a groundbreaking discovery and comment a couple of weeks ago.

when I said I use head and shoulders all the time.

I don't understand why there's dandruff shampoos and why people would choose to not use dandruff shampoos.

You can never get dandruff, Josh, if you're always using head and shoulders, right?

Sure.

And you agreed.

You thought that was a good call.

Yeah.

Until I found out that the number one ingredient in head and shoulders and dandruff shampoo is something that makes you bald.

No.

What are you nuts?

Yes.

You're only supposed to use it while you're having dandruff because it has an active ingredient in it that causes male pattern baldness.

Oh my God.

god so if you use it all the time if i told you to use it all the time you could probably sue me what are you nuts this is like you need to put that like front and center on the label i don't i don't want to be bald okay i just didn't want the flakes in my hair that's it i just i couldn't believe it i could not believe it once that episode came out I probably got 100 DMs.

Ben, do you know that it causes male pattern baldness?

Like, I got to take my freaking neutrophil.

I got to triple it.

What are you nuts?

That's good.

That's crazy.

By the way, that would have been a good, having a good day.

How about now?

So true.

Right?

God, we'll get it.

We got to figure out the difference between that and woody and nuts.

But that's our problem, folks.

We won't bore you with that.

This episode, five stars.

Otherwise, what are you nuts?

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Mondays and Thursdays, folks, we will see ya.

Thought I glitch.

Next time.

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Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.