Boomers, Boarding Schools & Bot Massages

Speaker 1 The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Speaker 2 the good guys.

Speaker 2 Monso Morons, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast. I'm here back at Dear Media Studios after a three-month sabbatical, and I just got to say, I love what you haven't done with the place.

Speaker 2 It still looks the same.

Speaker 2 Was that studio flooded? No, that studio had to have been untouched. Was this studio untouched?

Speaker 4 There was a little bit of flooding in here, but relatively untouched. We had to put some of the...

Speaker 2 Gosh, they're going to use this podcast in court. They're going to use it in court.

Speaker 2 The insurance money is going to come in and we're going to be right there front and center for why they should sue dear me.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 2 Could I use an insurance claim? That's what, that's my 2026 goal, a nice insurance claim. By the way, could the sirens be any louder in New York?

Speaker 2 Can you hear them? Oh, yeah. Can you? Wow, that means, no, so that means that there's a problem.
with the audio. The fact that you can hear that, that's crazy.
Cause I can barely hear that.

Speaker 2 Well, I don't know why there'd be a problem. It just no, because if it picks it up, that's not good.
No, it sucks it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Ben, you don't listen to the pod, but we hear sirens in the background of a lot of your shots. And of course, I listen to the pod.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 Have you ever listened to an episode back then?

Speaker 2 Yeah, like the early ones. And then I just didn't like.

Speaker 2 No, and then I just like, the thing is, I'm definitely self-conscious of

Speaker 2 like, no, I don't like to hear the, I don't like to hear myself speak. Like, it like makes me cringe.
So, hopefully, you guys don't feel that way too.

Speaker 2 But, no, like, I, I prefer to just once it's out in the ethos, come after me, tell me what I did wrong, tell me what I did right. But if I don't have to, I'd rather not.

Speaker 2 I do the same thing with like interviews. I won't listen back to anything.
I don't know, once it's out, like, I guess you re you watch your own movies. What's that like?

Speaker 2 You know, I think you have to listen and watch game tape. So, in interview,

Speaker 2 you're naturally just bubbly, charming, smart person. So I don't think for interviews, you'd have to watch it back.

Speaker 2 I would never watch an interview of mine back, but this feels like a skill in which to improve, right? Like the pod. And same thing with movies and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 So I used to be, I think what happened too with social media is I got so used to looking at my big, stupid face that I am better at watching stuff. I used to not be able to do it at all.

Speaker 2 I'm watching one of the worst shows, Josh. I think it's called Warwick, maybe.

Speaker 2 It's about

Speaker 2 teen teen centers for like traumatized or like troubled teens. Olivia, do you know if it's called Warwick? That can't be the name.
I don't think so.

Speaker 4 I looked up Warwick and it showed a rodeo society in Australia. So give me a moment.

Speaker 2 No, that's not it. Bullmate, killing your fucking bullmate.
Well, cowboy.

Speaker 2 Troubled teen documentary Netflix. I'm on it.
What comes up? It's important, Josh. This is important.
Wayward, Wayward. Is that what it's called? Wayward sounds more.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Home for

Speaker 2 Wayward Boys. Isn't that, wasn't that? Yeah, Wayward.

Speaker 4 That's one of them. Yeah, Wayward.
And then I'm seeing Hell Cam. There's a lot of these.

Speaker 2 Hell camp.

Speaker 2 But Wayward's one of them. Because that's a phrase.
A home for wayward boys. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That was like in the 60s.

Speaker 2 It's true. Like, they would say that, like, you'll get sent to the home for wayward kids.
Well, this show, Josh, I think it's called Wayward. Olivia will correct us if it's not.

Speaker 2 What made me think of a van is they literally take in the middle of the night, these teens are asleep, and this sketchy fucking van pulls up with three armed guards.

Speaker 2 They throw a like sack over their head, tie them up, and bring them to this detention center.

Speaker 2 I think I have to stop watching the show.

Speaker 2 I'm going to have nightmares. Like too spooky.
And it's so sad.

Speaker 2 Like I'm watching this show and this girl that goes in spoiler alert she's not even that bad like she's just like her parents are just like don't know how to deal with her but she's like nice and quirky and nerdy but like does mushrooms at school but she's like a nice girl and they send her literally to prison it's so scary so sad so terrible

Speaker 2 yeah i i a buddy of mine went to one of those but it was like a behavioral intervention camp and he needed it like he was he had some mental illness and he was just like you know at 14 the size he is now which was like 6'1

Speaker 2 220 pounds like he was just a huge kid and he was violent and he was not going to listen to his parents and they had two big dudes show up and take him i mean it was a beautiful outdoor camp in utah where he lived for the year and and they and it costs you know six figures probably and they you know they have a lot of intervention but i think there are some versions where it it is necessary and a lot of versions like that documentary where it's probably absolutely horrible was is it provo the the one that your friend went to that's paris hilton's in utah that's like that very famous story where she came out against provo which of course i went down a rabbit hole last night just like looking up like other examples of this and provo's total completely still around Like, and Paris Hilton had, again, maybe it's just her experience, but she had that terrible experience with like sexual assault and were just terrible to her.

Speaker 2 And it's like you go there as a teen

Speaker 2 trying to get better and just abusive power kicks in and people have power trips and they're so excited to check someone. Right.
Like it's just so sad. So sad.

Speaker 2 I wonder if your friend went to that same one. Or maybe there are multiple in Utah.
I mean,

Speaker 2 I hope not too.

Speaker 2 His, you know, sort of take on it was that it was a, inevitably it was a positive thing in the end, but I'm sure there are many terrible ones that like the ones you're citing that just shouldn't exist at all.

Speaker 2 No way. It's just so sad.
Like she, like, we only watched, again, like the first three episodes, but they have like a no-touching policy at this detention center.

Speaker 2 And there's an extreme example, but like something happens to. a girl and this girl walks up to the other girl to console her.
She puts her hand on her back and she's like, are you okay?

Speaker 2 and that was a strike and they made her sleep on the floor like just like on the like she has a bed she couldn't sleep in her bed she had to just sleep on the floor to learn not to touch it just like it gave me like such an icky horrible feeling that like we've like we've spoken about privilege on this podcast before but there's like a a such a different level of privilege where even the people who aren't necessarily feeling privileged on a day-to-day basis were not in that camp.

Speaker 2 I couldn't, I like, my brain went there and it's like, thank fucking God for the life that I have and the fact that my parents would never send me to something like that.

Speaker 2 Not that I needed it, but like, you never know, Josh. Like you're like, the luck of the draw is just so,

Speaker 2 it's, it's luck. It's luck of the draw.
We're very lucky. It shook me up.
What about growing up on the East Coast, there was a, I mean, this is totally different and yet totally foreign to me.

Speaker 2 There was a culture of boarding schools and then there were like the famous ones, Andover, Exeter.

Speaker 2 And then if you got kicked out of all those or couldn't get in, they'd be like, well, then we've got bad news. And they'd be like, choate.

Speaker 2 No one wanted to go to choate.

Speaker 2 And it was like, there was that. There was military school.
It's like, it all feels like Hogwarts light. Yeah.
So I didn't know anybody that went to any of those schools. And I don't, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't like, I've, I've heard of them. Yeah, I don't think, I don't think Jews go to boarding school.
It's more rare. It's definitely a waspy.
Andover, I think, was, is pretty waspy.

Speaker 2 It's also, if you're really into sports, like athletics, sometimes like

Speaker 2 they, you know, like they just have amazing sports programs. You just have to live there 10 months a year.
And you have to. I was going to say, I'm sure that's what like the parents tell them.

Speaker 2 It's great for sports. And it's like, I just don't want to see you for 10 months.
Like, I don't mean to be incredibly judgmental. I'm going to sound incredibly judgmental.

Speaker 2 But like, if you're sending your kids to boarding school for sport, I just like, I just don't don't understand why you had kids.

Speaker 2 Like they can like if you can afford a boarding school, you can certainly afford a private teacher to teach them soccer or something. Like, right.

Speaker 2 Do you, you have to hate your kids to send them to boarding school? Unless there's a problem. I know we just spoke about behavioral, et cetera.

Speaker 2 You have to hate your kids if you send them to boarding school.

Speaker 2 But I would, I would push back on, say, like the East Coast and the Jews are just as guilty, the East Coast culture of like 10-week summer camp like to us so fun though it's so fun to your point and i know a lot of kids who wind up loving not i don't know a lot but i my friends who've gone to boarding school loved it but like us here on the west coast the idea of sending your kid away for 10 weeks is bananas

Speaker 2 it's just because it's not part of our culture here yeah yeah seven and a half weeks but yes 10 weeks that would be gorgeous i wish i always wished it was longer i haven't seen

Speaker 2 done it to a good point josh sojourn in the polka nose anytime

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Speaker 2 it's a good point though 100 i know that camp i guess that i just think boarding school and i think rigor and i think no fun but maybe you're right maybe boarding school is really fun and the parents send them there because they want them to have fun josh that's the optimist in you but how it's all about fun imagine being done with your day and you're at your boy's house.

Speaker 2 Like you're at like

Speaker 2 the dream of my life after school every day was for my mom to be like, go home with Kwame.

Speaker 2 Like go home with Daniel. I'd be like, yes, yes.
Cause A, I knew I was going to eat whatever I wanted and your pantry was not safe with your boy.

Speaker 2 And you were going to, and you were going to watch a movie that had a couple of nudes. Yeah, we were going to see some nips.
Maybe their mom would make us dinner at six.

Speaker 2 And then my mother would call the mother and be like, just put him in a cab and I'll come downstairs and wait for the cab and pay the fare.

Speaker 2 She wouldn't come pick me up, dog. I'd be like, mom, I'm on 28th at first.

Speaker 2 She'd be like, it's mom, I'm scared.

Speaker 2 It's a short ride to the Hudson. We live in Hell's Kitchen.
Mom, I'm at. Stuyvesant Town.
I'm scared. Let me out.
That was. Come pick me up.

Speaker 2 We talked about this on the pod, but

Speaker 2 going to elementary school on the Lower East Side,

Speaker 2 it bordered Stuyvesant Town. And then if you were really rich, you lived in the higher end of Peter Cooper.

Speaker 2 Peter Cooper. Peter Cooper.

Speaker 2 Peter Cooper's just, it's so funny. It's like, it's like buying like a tricked out Honda.
That's Peter Cooper. That's right.
Like, like, like you throw a V8 in a Honda. You're still in a Honda.

Speaker 2 What are you doing? Like, just get the regular Honda.

Speaker 2 But what's crazy is Stuyvesant Town on the Lower East side of New York is like the closest we have to like Russian Marxist housing in New York City. Like it's literally,

Speaker 2 it's like, and here are your brown pants and your blue pants. See you in five years.

Speaker 2 It really feels that way, except you can leave. Right.
That's the only difference. But once you step in, there's communal parks.
There's like the, all of these identical buildings. Right.

Speaker 2 Like it really, it looks like tenement. Exactly what you said.
It does, except you can leave. That's the difference.
You can walk one block and all of a sudden you're in regular Manhattan.

Speaker 2 But yes, Stytown, you can be in there and feel like you're in a different world. And let me tell you, the world's wonderful.
There's a basketball court right there. There's my training that I like.

Speaker 2 Growing up, I wanted to live there so bad. It was really cool.
Like we're joking about it, but Stytown was cool. I loved it.
I thought it was awesome.

Speaker 2 Yeah, dude, my friend Mario lived there, he was a black dude with the name Mario, which I thought was cool. And super cool.
My friend Mario lived there, and we would go there and hang out.

Speaker 2 And I just remember he had a treadmill in his bedroom because I think like the parents didn't know where to put it. And we would get jacked up on that treadmill.

Speaker 2 I remember once his little sister fell on it as it was going 12 miles per hour on the belt, and she definitely got a third-degree burn on her arm. And I was like, that needs to be looked at.

Speaker 2 And they were like, put some neosporin on, Mario, stop fucking around. Oh my God.
Speaking of treadmills, Josh, I went to Equinox yesterday. Okay.

Speaker 2 I walked on three, it's three and a half, but at 12, three and a half, 12 incline. How's that for 30 minutes?

Speaker 2 I was sore as shit. Three and a half at 12 incline.
And Josh, something crazy happened. Okay.
I'm, look,

Speaker 2 I dabble in, we all know that I love a massage. And this new Equinox that I'm going to, they have a full spa.
So I just wanted to understand what does, what's the menu look like?

Speaker 2 How much is a massage? What do you have? I don't know if they have this in LA, Josh, but they offered me a robotic 100% AI massage. Yes.
$15, 15 minutes, $30, 30 minutes. This is competitive pricing.

Speaker 2 Like you're going to the corner nail salon. This is great pricing.
$15, 15 minutes. I booked it for later this week.
I'm going to let you know how it goes.

Speaker 2 But they claim it feels just like human human hands. How scary is that? Thoughts?

Speaker 2 I love that. If Aina's how

Speaker 2 you're the reverse Aina, how scary is that?

Speaker 2 It's like if

Speaker 2 Ina hosted like a goosebumps hour, like

Speaker 2 Aina on Halloween.

Speaker 2 How spooky is that? How spooky is that?

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 2 That's funny. How scary is that?

Speaker 2 I think it's awesome. Look, you know me, and you're about to be too, clearly, because I'm going to make the connection.
I'm in the Equinox fam.

Speaker 2 Equinox did this big thing for like World Mental Health Day. They do AI massage robots.
They're at the cutting edge. So I'm excited.
I would definitely try one of those robot massages. Why not?

Speaker 2 You know, I love a deal. They had me at $15 for 15 minutes.
Like, if that was priced any differently, I would have been like, no, I'll go with the human. $15, Josh, or $110.

Speaker 2 Yeah. $110 for 25 minutes or 15 bucks for 15 minutes.
I might as well give it a shot. Like, what's the worst thing that can happen? The AI punctures through my back and it goes out my heart and I die?

Speaker 2 What's the worst thing that could happen? I did. Accidentally nick an artery?

Speaker 2 What's the worst thing that could happen?

Speaker 2 I think that sounds fab. I mean, I'm down to clown with any type of massage.
I'll I'll get a massage in an airport. I'll get it.

Speaker 2 I mean, I would get it in the middle of the mall, but I'm usually with my children. But I love, you know, at Planet Fitness, they have, because you know me, I'm high, low, babe.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm like, get the Equinox membership or get the $11 Planet Fitness membership and get in and get out. Yes.
But they have a upgrade where you can get, they have the Jetstream massage.

Speaker 2 You've seen this? No,

Speaker 2 it's so stupid.

Speaker 2 They're like tanning beds. You lay inside and you're covered with a tarp and it blasts like water, like water jets are the pressure on your body.

Speaker 2 And you can like spend an extra, I don't know, nine bucks a month and get that in addition. So whilst that's not gonna appeal to me to give up my Equinox membership over, I'm glad it exists.

Speaker 2 Is the pressure strong? And do we think that they clean these things? I'm now like, like, it sounds kind of yucky. Nah, you're judgmental.
It's possible.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's it's flat i oh you see kind of way that i feel that dirty

Speaker 2 i was gonna say i don't know if i'm judgmental i think i'm a realist you're not going in the cold plunge of planet fitness are you no bro i would not i would i would hold my pee at a planet fitness i wouldn't even pee like i used to do that when i and respect like it's not talking shit about these places it's just a reality i used to go to 24 hour fitness what no it's not judgment i mean it's not talking shit about them.

Speaker 2 They know this.

Speaker 3 This is their plan, Josh.

Speaker 2 Planet Fitness appeals to the same person that a C-Town appeals to. Okay.
That a Key Foods appeals to. They intentionally make their products feel a little bit grosser so that they feel approachable.

Speaker 2 It's 100% marketing. You then go into a C-Town and the groceries are very similar in price to that of a Whole Foods.
It's just.

Speaker 2 You don't think that you should be going to a Whole Foods almost like that. It's too expensive.
It's too premium.

Speaker 2 it's the same thing with a planet fitness it just appeals to a different person and if the gym was too nice they would think that it's not for them yeah wow that's so true marketing 101 like this podcast is like if costco had a hermez bag right

Speaker 2 right yes that's what we are we we are the premium of schnurrs

Speaker 2 We're the automar when you walk into the Costco. You're like, what the fuck is this $50,000 watch doing at Costco? Us.

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Speaker 2 By the way, your boy is back on his Welbutrin journey and I'm eight days in and I am,

Speaker 2 I could set a, I could set a school on fire. I'm so happy right now.
Sorry. Well, you shouldn't do that.

Speaker 2 Somebody come get his Wilbutrin. Oh,

Speaker 2 clearly it's having side effects of arson.

Speaker 2 Somebody come take away his Wilbutrin. butrin i'm so proud of you first of all claps claps for taking meds

Speaker 2 you

Speaker 2 you take well butrin what did i just start recently oh i had a uh momentous creatine chewable this morning that was hot that's fun oh it was it was delicious you know what it is when you're on the right meds it's just like a a brain hug just like it's like you haven't been touched in a really long time like you've been out in the the wilderness and then just someone appears in like a really nice like emergency vest and you're like,

Speaker 2 and it's this really fun transition period, those first two weeks where you start to get the energy back that you'd lost through depression, but you still have the scary thoughts.

Speaker 2 So now you have the energy to act out on those scary thoughts, but you're like, no, I shouldn't. I'll never be able to go back.
It's cool.

Speaker 2 That sounds like a journey for sure.

Speaker 2 Okay, so what is why would you, why would you ever go off it if it makes you feel great? You know, it's the dichotomy of any kind of,

Speaker 2 only speaking from my experience, it's Dr. Mike, the YouTube doctor who refuses to come on the pod, he said it best that if a drug doesn't have side effects, it has no effects, right?

Speaker 2 Even the best drugs have some profile of side effect. It's unavoidable.

Speaker 2 And so I think especially for anyone, because it's something that is affecting your mind, but for me, like lucidity, the ability in which to do this, acting, like everything I do is at the forefront of my brain, of creativity, of synapses, of the way in which I access emotion and my words and memories.

Speaker 2 So, anything that could potentially sort of reconfigure that, I think was the reason why I went 34 years without it. Cause I just felt like, yeah,

Speaker 2 maybe it could benefit me, but with my kind of work, it would, I would be worried that it would just rewire some things that would, I couldn't get back.

Speaker 2 So I think that for me, when I got on it, it felt such, I felt such a relief.

Speaker 2 But then after three years, I felt like I had sort of come to this funny place of needing to reassess, maybe switch it, maybe take a little more. I wasn't sure.

Speaker 2 So luckily with, you know, the proper oversight of a healthcare professional, I sort sort of got off and I took three or four months to see how I felt and it was fine.

Speaker 2 But after that time, I was like, yeah,

Speaker 2 I could use this. Do you think that it has affected your work? Like when you were on it, like were you a worse actor?

Speaker 2 You can't get much worse. No, shut up.
No, no, no. Shut up.

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 2 I think that if anything, and Rosie Perez, the great actor Rosie Perez, said this to me once when she talked about her journey and using antidepressants for a while because she went through an incredibly challenging childhood and all this stuff.

Speaker 2 She's like, it didn't

Speaker 2 inhibit me from good acting. It helped me to let go of the shit that was blocking me from doing good work.
Got it. Like all that bad sort of feedback loops of obsessive thoughts and deep insecurity.

Speaker 2 It just kind of says, oh, stop it already. You know, it's like a really good sort of boomer Jewish grandfather when antidepressants are working right, where they don't really want to hear it.

Speaker 2 They just want to stop it.

Speaker 2 You're crazy. Have some more cake and stop it.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I just think that like the only thing that I can compare it to is my journey on GLPs.

Speaker 2 At first Ozempic, now, and then after Ozempic, it was like, you know, I can do this by myself. And I couldn't.
So now I'm on Zetbound. And I like, while there are some side effects, certainly,

Speaker 2 the pros of it certainly outweigh the cons and i think i'm going to be on it forever like i just i i i wish i don't even anymore wish that i couldn't be on it forever i'm i would be fortunate that like hopefully there's no like class action that comes out and says that there's something crazy wrong with all this shit because i'd love to be on it forever because it really helps me so I don't know.

Speaker 2 I feel like learning to live with the side effects and just like they're, the pros are so much better than the cons, at least, at least for me.

Speaker 2 By the way, side note, have you noticed my new camera here? You guys can't see because we're on Zoom. My new camera, Josh, don't I look gorgeous? And it zooms in so nice on me?

Speaker 2 First of all, you look really handsome. I think it's just your thin.
I think the shirt you're wearing, you look like,

Speaker 2 seriously, when you came on the Zoom, I was like, I might need to, they might have to frame me from the navel up. But also,

Speaker 2 you are zooming in and out. We're seeing that.
Oh, I am? Oh, it's moving. It's okay.
Yeah, it's, it's, no, it's the new camera. It's this new Mac, which, by the way, I got a gorgeous new Mac book.

Speaker 2 It's not, it's like a black MacBook. I used to have a gray one.
It's gorgeous. Apple products are just fantastic.
Not as good as Samsung, but Apple products are really great.

Speaker 2 Listen, Apple Pro, Samsung, you let us know when you want to re-up. With that being said, my new iPhone 17 Pro Max, gorgeous.
My wife has the iPhone 17 Air. I guess that's what it's called.

Speaker 2 Shout out, Apple. Shout out my boy Dylan.
I just ordered the new 17 Pro Max iPhone as well. Awesome.
I accidentally ordered the iPhone 17 and it came.

Speaker 2 And it's my hands and my fingers are just too big for, too big and fat for such a small phone. So I returned that one.

Speaker 2 Now I have to wait until November 11th, November, you know, the window, the 11th to the 18th. It will come.
I'm very excited. But I think that this zoom in feature also happens on FaceTime, right?

Speaker 2 On the new iPhone.

Speaker 2 Like it, it, it tries to adjust to your voice. Probably still working out the kinks.
That said, this looks much better. Normally, I'll throw you on Zoom.
You'll see everything.

Speaker 2 You'll see my camel toe. You don't need to see my camel toe.
Now I'm completely, I'm squared up. Love it.
I would love it. That should be our other podcast, Working Out the Kinks.

Speaker 2 Ooh, that's good, Josh. Yeah.
Really good. So our name.
I love it.

Speaker 2 Maybe we have a trifecta podcast and it's good, guys, guys gone gay and working out the kinks. And our award-winning Bollywood podcast, The Chai Guys.
Oh, God, can you imagine?

Speaker 2 We still, we really need to do an India tour. Yeah.
The Chai guys are so good. God, it's good.
Ooh, I love it. I have to, I love it.

Speaker 2 Ben already knows this, but I had quite the week last week with my sweet baby Shai, my middle son. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I know. I know.
But God was in play, as he tends to do.

Speaker 2 We got a call at like 10.30 in the morning. What? And I was in play.

Speaker 2 Continue. Yes, you were in play.
I got a call at around 10.30 in the morning. My wife goes, Shy fell at school and he's fine, but they say he's going to need stitches.
I go, no problem.

Speaker 2 I'll be right there. This is what unemployed Joshi looks like.
I saved the day.

Speaker 2 If I had five lines on NCIS Van Eyes, I would have said, take the kid to urgent care. That's got to get on set.

Speaker 2 You're employed. This podcast.
This is. We're employed.
We're employed. This is a job.
My dad is always employed. Yes.
This is a job. It's really fun, but it's a job.

Speaker 2 Like, it's pretty crazy that it's a job. Like, I just get to come and like talk to you about like dumb shit.
Like, I don't know. Mom Donny Salami, and that's a job.

Speaker 2 I know, but this, right, because this is the best part. And then you having to wax on for two minutes about Discover card and me having to edit this podcast at 5 a.m.
is the part that's work.

Speaker 2 Yes, definitely work for sure. And I don't know if you guys have noticed that our social media is booming.
Yeah, that's right. I started making lists.
Making lists.

Speaker 2 Making checking things off.

Speaker 2 Okay. Check, check, check, check.

Speaker 2 Olivia, get me the thumbnail now.

Speaker 2 Poor Olivia.

Speaker 2 The worst thing Olivia ever did was work on a podcast with people like Ben and I.

Speaker 2 Me who like, I'll just text at nine o'clock at night and Ben will be up at a reasonable 7.30 in the morning in New York, 4.30 a.m.

Speaker 2 Ben needs a thumbnail, Olivia.

Speaker 2 And also just people that really, like, we're never off. Like, sorry, Olivia, like Saturday, it just, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm texting you for thumbnails on a Saturday.

Speaker 2 If I don't do it, that's why my list is so important, Josh. List.
And then I can check it off on a Monday. It's all right.

Speaker 2 she's got us muted if she's smart she's fine it's fine all right shy god tangent shy needs stitches you run even though you're employed you take time off of your of your job to go and care for your son.

Speaker 2 I go pick this kid up. He's gorgeous, but he's going to need stitches.
So we're headed to the hospital. I go, no urgent care.
This is a cute kid.

Speaker 2 You know, if this was an Uggo kid, you know, I would have put some aquaphor on it and said, say a blessing and we'll get you a happy meal. Oh,

Speaker 2 for the best. He's so gorgeous.
He's so gorgeous. My God, that hair.
Oof. So we're

Speaker 2 on our way to the hospital. And thankfully, our pediatrician, who I'm obsessed with, one of the greats, Dr.
Jesse, she calls, she goes, listen.

Speaker 2 If you're not at the hospital yet, I have a plastic surgeon that I work with in Beverly Hills. I see a lot of these chin choppers, you know, eyebrow hits.

Speaker 2 With kids, she's like, and sometimes it scars so terribly. So if you can, I would go to the plastic surgeon.
I said, no problem.

Speaker 2 So she sends me his name and the address. She's like, just go now.
He can see you now in 30 minutes. This doctor, listen to this name.
Dr. Elazar

Speaker 2 Saffer. You heard that, right, Olivia?

Speaker 2 Are you kidding me? This is Mishbocha.

Speaker 2 I was there. I was was there in spirit taking care of that sweet boy.

Speaker 2 Unbelievable. When you told me, you literally, you're like, you'll never guess who my doctor is.
I'm like, Terry Dubrow? Dr. Nazardin?

Speaker 2 Like, what do you mean? Dr. Saffer? Are you kidding me? It was great.

Speaker 2 Ben wrote me the cutest text when I was telling him about it. He wrote, Hashem was in the room.

Speaker 2 God was in the room.

Speaker 2 BH, God was in the room. That's another great podcast name.
God was in the room. God was in the room.
Love that. That could be a Mel Robbins off shit.

Speaker 2 We'd pitch it to her, but she refuses to come on the pod.

Speaker 2 Mel, you got her with her.

Speaker 2 Mel, we love you. Please come on the podcast.
She was booked. Now she's unbooked.
She'll come on when she's a busy person. She's been number one on the bestseller list for two and a half years.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she'll come on whenever she reaches a new low. She probably just like texted in the middle of the night.
She had a pint of ice cream, she was upset about something.

Speaker 2 She's like, I want to go on good guys. And then she woke up the next day.
She's like, Holy crap, what are you nuts? I don't need that. New day, new me.
She was like, I'm Mel Robbins.

Speaker 2 She like, she like had like an argument at work or something. She's just like feeling depressed.
She's like, oh, I'll go on good guys. Next day,

Speaker 2 what the hell was that? She was like, who was that? Who's in finance?

Speaker 2 I love it. I'm in

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Speaker 2 So we go in, Dr. Ellie Sauffrey goes by Ellie.
This guy, he's our age, trained in New York and LA. He's got two different practices.
This guy is gorgeous.

Speaker 2 He goes, listen, we're going to take care of Shai. We're going to close him up no problem.
He's like, I said, great, you're going to do it now in the office?

Speaker 2 He goes, oh, no, we have to do it at a surgery center. I go, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 And he says, and we're going to have to put him under. So we'll have to wait, you know, four more hours because he ate two hours ago for his stomach to empty out.

Speaker 2 And we'll have to make sure the anesthesiologist is available. And I was like, wait, what?

Speaker 2 And he's like, yeah, man, he's three. Like, this is, he's like, if he was your older son who's six, maybe he could handle it.
But at three years old, like, this could traumatize him.

Speaker 2 And also, like, he's not going to sit still so it's not going to look as good it's kind of the way to go so i said okay so shy and i spent the day we i was going to take him to the mall in beverly hills and just walk around for a while but we literally went into a walgreens and spent almost two hours he'd never been into a walgreens he was like this place is tits

Speaker 2 We walked the aisles of Walgreens for two hours and then

Speaker 2 near the surgery center were the famous La Brea tar pits where they found all the dinosaur fossils in LA. So we walked around there for an hour.
He loved that. And then I had to show up, man.

Speaker 2 This was like BDE, big dad energy. And I'm there with him.

Speaker 2 And we, you know, all of a sudden, as my day started at 10.29 as a normal Tuesday, by 10.30, I was starting this thing that was going to end with my son under anesthesia for an hour in a surgery.

Speaker 2 So it was nerve-wracking. So we get checked in for the surgery and I'm there, welcome back.
Everyone there, the staff's incredible.

Speaker 2 And I'm laying on the table with him and they've got a TV on and they're playing some show on Netflix that he loves. And then they just gently put this mask over his face.

Speaker 2 And it's like 10, 15 seconds. I'm trying to get a whiff, you know, a freebie.
I'm like, you know, share, shy.

Speaker 2 You know, I'm trying to get fucking lit up. And

Speaker 2 then the anesthesiologist goes, okay, this is rapid head movement. Don't worry.
This is all procedure. And all of a sudden, Shai is just like laying there.

Speaker 2 And then all of a sudden, his head goes, I'm like, oh my God.

Speaker 2 And they're like, oh my God. Totally standard.
Don't worry. And then five seconds later, they're like, he's out.
And they're like, dad, you can jump up. And the nurse picks Shai up.
He's asleep.

Speaker 2 I leave the room and they said it'll be 30 minutes max. And about 40 minutes in, I'm like,

Speaker 2 what's going on? This is like a little cut on his eyebrow. Like, I'm flipping out.
I asked the woman behind the desk, I'm like, can you go in and check? She does. She's like, they'll be done soon.

Speaker 2 I come back. Shy's awake.
He's in my arms. It's all good.
The doctor just like really was meticulous with this beautiful, perfect clothes. Shout out, Dr.
Saffer.

Speaker 2 Who could expect anything less than perfection

Speaker 2 from this gorgeous doctor?

Speaker 2 Oh, the best was he's like, you know, my name's Dr. Saffer.
i said of course the scribe

Speaker 2 very good i learned what sofra met and he's like yeah very good and i said oh and and he's like you know i grew up i went to religious jewish school and you know he's like i'm kosher blah blah blah i go so says my co-host no

Speaker 2 yeah we should we should get together me and him compare notes

Speaker 2 compare notes connect me to him you never know when you could use a plastic is he a plastic surgeon? Yeah. Double board service

Speaker 2 tied.

Speaker 2 Fantastic. Fantastic.
And now Shai is back. He's all good.

Speaker 2 Did he have to take out the stitches or they were the dissolve? They dissolve beautifully. And moral of the story is...
I don't know. There's no moral of the story here, but it really worked out.

Speaker 2 And Shai only threw up on his way home in my back seat, just all over, all over. Because I plied the kid with Sour Patch watermelon and apple juice when he woke up because it's all he wanted.

Speaker 2 And I was like, this kid's going to be so happy. And about 30 minutes into our trip, all of a sudden I just hear in the background, da-da,

Speaker 2 my stomach hurts.

Speaker 2 I'm like, oh.

Speaker 2 Which car was it in? It's in the Tesla. All right, that's better.
Yeah. It's better than the new Defender.
The Defender. Do you want to do one speak pipe? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I threatened them. I was like, if you give us more bad speak pipes in Collins, I'm pulling the the plug on this whole podcast.
Make it up. It's enough.
That's what I said. Make it up.
I love that.

Speaker 2 This one's from Kevin.

Speaker 5 What's up, Josh and Ben, weekly non-Jewish Catholic listener from Dallas, Texas. My fiancé actually has a lot of Jewish family members that we spend time with.

Speaker 5 And I appreciate this podcast for at least giving me some relevant talking points as an ally in those conversations.

Speaker 5 To the point, I work out every day, but I can't help but be jealous of the Schwitz culture that I'm missing out on.

Speaker 5 It just sounds like a great way to decompress on a Sunday heading into the work week.

Speaker 5 Our local Dallas Jewish Community Center just renovated their locker rooms to include a whirlpool, cold plunge, steam room, and sauna. So I think it's time to get a membership.

Speaker 2 I'm in.

Speaker 5 My question as an aspiring non-Jewish Schwitzer, are there any unspoken rules or protocols that I should be aware of prior to taking the no pun intended plunge?

Speaker 5 Obviously, I'll be avoiding taking any sort of speaker phone call into the sanctuary of Zen, but I'm talking the simpler things, such as do I go full nude or is it a swim trunk kind of vibe?

Speaker 5 Do people like to have conversation? What is the towel protocol? Etc. Just looking for any tips that help me appropriately fit in whilst not being called a goy behind my back.

Speaker 2 This,

Speaker 2 this

Speaker 2 is a speaker. That's right.
Okay. That's right.
This is fantastic. You say something nice about the podcast.
You tell us your dilemma. You

Speaker 2 ask a nice, this is a great question that will prompt a great conversation. Josh, there are so many things that go into proper etiquette when thinking about a steam, a sauna, a plunge.

Speaker 2 We should start. He asked, should I be naked? Unless you're incredibly proud of what's going on downstairs, I'd recommend that you wear some swim trunks.
I don't need to see your nuts.

Speaker 2 You don't need to see my nuts. I just think that people who go naked, it's just a little bit too much.
I recommend swim trunks or a towel.

Speaker 2 If you're talking about going naked, though, was he asking if he should go naked in the cold plunge? Because that's a big no-no. 100% you throw on a bathing suit.

Speaker 2 But even when you're in the schwitz, you wear a towel. Yeah, right? I would wrap a towel.
I don't hate bathing suit in the schwitz. It just feels sharky because you're,

Speaker 2 but I understand it's necessary in some occasions. No, you don't need it.
Okay, let me let me revise what I said. You don't need a towel and a bathing suit, obviously.

Speaker 2 You can go either or when you're in the Schwitz, but if you're in a rotation of Schwitz cold plunge, then you're going to want to wear a bathing suit because you're not going to want to go naked into the communal cold plunge.

Speaker 2 That's nasty. Yeah, that's yucky.
And here, if I may make a suggestion, and Kevin, I don't mean to presume or to project, maybe you're completely secure with your body, but if you're not...

Speaker 2 You get a nice...

Speaker 2 You get a nice towel and you do the wraparound. This is how I'm walking around.

Speaker 2 This is me, right? Now, if you notice, I've got the two corners, like a Jewish spiritual garment, a tallit, covering the nips. Yes.

Speaker 2 So this way, I'm not, you know, I'm not putting out my pepperoni nips. I'm just sitting there getting a nice sweat while feeling secure, while feeling.

Speaker 2 So you're, so you're double toweling. You're toweling around the waists.
I just want to make sure that nobody thinks that you're only covering your nipples, but you're just like sitting there.

Speaker 2 How funny would that be?

Speaker 2 i'm really insecure about my nipples sir i can see your cock okay what do you mean you're insecure about your nipples like i'm looking at your cock don't look at my decoletage look at my decoletage don't give it

Speaker 2 i thought you were gonna i thought you were gonna say that you wrap your towel around your neck and then you pull down the towel so it just covers your nether regions i'm like that's a new one i use my towel like the curtains at a

Speaker 2 community playhouse.

Speaker 2 Who's ready?

Speaker 2 Oh, that's funny. So yeah, Kevin, recommend at least one towel.
And don't be too chatty, Kevin. Okay.
Like, they're there to just like, I don't know, be in their own thoughts, deep breathe.

Speaker 2 Unless somebody starts a conversation with you, I just wouldn't be too chatty.

Speaker 2 That would be the other other thing should we get to what are you nuts we should our what are you nuts moment of the week are our gripes with people places and things both big and tall whatever sticking in your craw mine are cyclists now

Speaker 2 being small

Speaker 2 now like rochester you do okay like rochester i love it

Speaker 2 Cyclists are nuts. You know what I've noticed? Kids are respectful bike riders because somehow they feel the weight of what's happening, which is at any moment, they could have catastrophic injury.

Speaker 2 Similarly, older cyclists I've noticed, always give me the wave. So kind.
Share the road. Kind.

Speaker 2 It's you assholes from 20 to 50 that really, listen, no matter what you think, what world we live in, let's look. I know the world you think you deserve.
Let's live in the world that is.

Speaker 2 You are a guest on my road because my car could end you so quick. This is not my intention.
God forbid. God forbid a thousand times.
But don't be a dick because it's nuts.

Speaker 2 And people have to be really careful and make sure you're okay so you can enjoy your hobby that you wear spandex for. What are you nuts? Amen.
What are you nuts? These cyclists, it's enough.

Speaker 2 Josh, my what are you nuts is I recommended to our nice speak pipe caller that he shouldn't be chatty in the steam you also shouldn't be chatty on a plane josh okay i'm sitting earphones in i'm watching my new favorite show severance ever heard of it i'm addicted unbelievable it's my new airplane show i'm on episode four i'm watching it it's a very intense show i'm watching it he taps me on the shoulder I turn to him.

Speaker 2 I'm like, headphones in, and I go back. 10 minutes later, Josh taps me on the shoulder.
I take out my earphone. I say, yes, what's like, like, nicely, like, yes, like, what's going on?

Speaker 2 He said, do they not bring hot towels anymore? I'm like, sir, what are you nuts? I'm watching a show. I don't work for the airline.
I don't know if you're going to get a fucking hot towel.

Speaker 2 An hour later, Josh, they bring around hot towels. He taps me on the shoulder.
He's like, they brought the hot towel. Can you, are you okay?

Speaker 2 Are you okay, sir? What are you nuts? Don't touch me.

Speaker 2 don't talk to me if your headphones are in on an airplane josh that means no conversation i don't want to talk to you i don't know you sayonara it was a complete what are you nuts i couldn't believe it love it take us home you know what else i love josh i love when we get five stars on this podcast because anything else would be a what are you nuts listen to us wherever you get your podcasts watch us on youtube share our clips instagram and TikTok Mondays and Thursdays, folks.

Speaker 2 We will see you next time.

Speaker 1 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 1 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.