Guys: Episode 148 - Taco Bell Guys with Brian Gaar

Welcome to guys, the podcast about guys. I'm Brian.
Can't do the accent.

This week for Taco Bell guys.

I was going to do,

everybody knows the Yokira Taco Bell. Not going to do it.
I've recently been in trouble for Brian's accent of the week.

It's not even in trouble.

I think some people are sort of, have been mentioning that you are, I mean, you're just getting dangerously close to, you know, busting out fully racist accents on the podcast regularly. And

yeah, I mean,

accidentally. It's all accidental because I'm always just trying to do British.
This guy, yeah, this guy's always doing accent dentals, you know, where he accidentally lays out a racist accent.

Oopsies. But there is a commercial, there is a precedent for the little dog from Taco Bell would say Yokiro Taco Bell.
So is that what you're going to try to hide behind saying?

I'm not doing an impression. I'm doing an impression of a dog here.
I am doing an impression of a small dog from the 90s. I used to run around doing the accent.
I'm not going to lie, everybody.

When the Yokiro Taco Bell dog was going around, that's all I was doing with my life.

I don't think anyone fell off their seats. They did.
I don't think anybody was surprised. Brian did an offensive accent when he was 20.
No. I mean, that was a hit commercial, though.
If you think that

that's what they wanted, right? I mean, they were trying to get that.

They wanted me to do it. It's like when I went to...

I'll bring our guest in. We got Brian Garr here with us today.
Hi, Brian.

Hey, guys. I'm going to say this right now.
I went to a rap con.

This is a good example. I went to see ASAP Rocky back in like 2012 or something like that.
And Schoolboy Q was opening for him. And I don't remember the other person, but Schoolboy Q's out on stage.

And he's losing his mind. He's rapping his head off.

And that sounded very white. I'm standing in the audience.

This guy's rapping his head off. This guy's rapping his head off.

Holy Lord, this guy's got all kinds of raps and rhymes.

This guy is really flowing.

Like telling the guy next to me, like tapping his shoulder, this guy's got so many rhymes.

Merry Christmas.

But he had a song where he used

the N-word so many times. It was just like half of the chorus is just that.
And he's standing, because, you know, there's a bunch of white people at this concert, too. And he's standing on stage.

He's like, come on, you guys can just say it. Go for it.
You know what? I want to hear you sing along with me. Please just say it.
Hey, you guys can say it.

And the half of the room was just like, no, I won't be saying that. Like, everybody was kind of standing.

Some people are like, I've seen this crap laid before. No, thank you.

I'm just going to go to the washroom now, perhaps. Take a bathroom break.

And that's what the, yeah, that it reminded me of that because I just, it's like, oh, you can go ahead and do the accent. That's fine.
And it's like, don't think I'm going to do it.

I'm afraid I will not be doing that. Well, I appreciate that.

I'm really allowed to do is Canadian.

Yeah, the Canadian accent is hitting. People are loving your Canadian accent.

And I appreciate the growth you've shown on the podcast over the past month or so, where you've decided to stop doing your accent of the week.

Which, yeah, you can check out over on the Shocktober on the Patreon. I'm becoming a huge Patreon plugger.
Listen to my new Canadian accent.

This is a good one here. It goes, maybe we're going to go, go,

what's the word?

Curling. Hey, let's go curling, bud.
What's the word?

It's like a famous horse. We're about to do curling, guys, with Colin.
Okay, anyway, we're doing Taco Bell, guys. Chris does.

He's left out of this conversation because they just got their first Taco Bell in Vancouver

recently. I mean, I think we've had it for a while now.
Maybe in Vancouver proper, but in like, you know, the lower mainland, which is kind of the surrounding area.

I feel like they're, it's just never, I don't know, man. People are like, they're like, yeah, whatever.
We got our kind of shitty. We got like Taco Time or something.

It's not the same. I'm sure it isn't, but it's also bad and has similar items.
But Taco Bell is a special thing. I know.
I understand that.

I certainly am engaged enough with American people to understand the significance that Taco Bell has in the culture. Yeah.
And I had Taco Bell the other night while I was prepping this episode.

I was like, I'm going to be enjoying some Taco Bell. What did you have?

Good. What did you have? What did I have? I had three chili cheese burritos, which

sounds like a lot to me. To me, that sounds like a lot.
They're so small. Actually, that's one of the big complaints Taco Bell guys have.

They're like, the burritos have gotten small. For some reason, they compare them to a vape, like an elf vape bar.
They're like, they're elf vape bar size.

And I'm like, that's a weird unit of measurement.

I understand that, like, if you go to a proper, you know, Mexican place or whatever, right? And you get a burrito, it's very large, right?

It'll cost you like $15 or whatever, like $12, and it'll have like beans and rice. It'll be a big, huge, significant thing, which will be your whole meal.

Versus, that's not what it is when you go to Taco Bell and get one of their little

numbers.

Chili cheese, Brie, I'll show you a little picture. And Brian, I have a question for you, Brian.
Brian with an eye.

Are you a Taco Bell consumer? When was the last time you had a Taco Bell?

Yes, on occasion. And first of all, regarding accents.
So I grew up in Wichita Falls, Texas, which is like the northern part of the state, right on the border of Oklahoma.

I had no idea until right now that doing that accent was a bad thing. So thank you for thanks for bailing me out on that one.

Here's a picture, guys. Okay.
Oh, yeah, real quick. I want to see this thing here.
That's the chili cheese burrito. It doesn't look good in that photo.

So this is, I'm guessing this is not an official photograph that Daco Bell is putting out, like a promo photo. We're looking at somebody is taking a photo of this.

And this looks like the type of thing you'd get at a, like a frozen one from a grocery store that you've heated up or whatever. Or it's like 2 a.m.

and you're high and it's like, yeah, I want to eat like eight of these and I'm going to go home. Like, yeah, that's what Taco, I feel like Taco Bell,

they're around in Texas, but it's not as big because you can also just like

go to, there's like tons, there's like a dude in a food trailer nearby who's selling burritos for like five bucks that are like incredible, that'll just blow Taco Bell out. Yeah, that's it.

You guys, you guys have the, you have so much Mexican food, but also good prices because I guess that's the difference, right?

A lot of places probably have a lot of Mexican food, but it's like a Taco Bell could still succeed because it's so cheap.

But if you got really good street food that is like on par price-wise, or maybe a little bit more expensive, it'd be tough for them. Because I'm look, Brian, are you sure?

Is that someone's dirty diaper?

To me, it looks like a dirty diaper.

I'm not trying to be funny. If you guys aren't.
Chickies burrito, brother. That's what I had for dinner two nights ago.

Three of them.

And a quesadilla. And

order of nacho fries. To me, what's the double dynamic? It does look like.
Yeah.

What's known as a blowout? If you're a parent, it's known as a blowout. That's what that looks like.

I've had to change many of those over the the years I'm not gonna lie I would still eat that like 100% I would house that in 20 seconds so what what it's all it is is beans and cheese essentially it's chili like uh like like for a cone dog like that chili yeah yeah

it's really messy then it's not that messy no because they don't put enough in there

i see i see so it's not even squirting out the sides it's like you would expect it to but some air kind of just like shoots out of the side like a little toot or something here's an interesting question asked on r slash taco bell and listen i'm i'm with this guy kind of okay but i i'll tell you why i'm i'm i'm conflicted about this.

He goes, if Taco Bell charges extra for add-ons, which they do, that's how they get you now. They have made their menu.

That's how they get you. Seriously, they've made their menu endlessly customizable, but everything costs like another dollar.

So, you see, I saw people making $25 burritos from Taco Bell, just putting the add-ons on in the

like you can, you they,

you know, but he goes, if Taco Bell charges extra for add-ons, why won't they give you a discount when you remove things?

Just saying,

yes, wait, this is like, this is philosophical question.

A $25

Taco Bell burrito, that's like going into Walmart and being like, I'll have a mink coat, please. Yes.

What's the nicest thing? I'll take the nicest thing in the Walmart, thank you. Exactly.
I'll take your nicest shotgun. Like, yeah,

you just came into a bunch of money, but you literally don't know about any other restaurants other than Taco Bell. I think I think of what food could be.

Well, I guess I'll go really splurge a Taco Bell. I'll get ranch Chipotle sauce, nacho cheese, chicken steak.
Yeah, no,

put some of those on the side. I'm going to kick those home with me, actually, darling.

The funny is the guys,

like, double beef. Like, I always switch the beef with steak because the beef really gnarls me out.
And I know I eat the chili. I get it.
So the beef is like... It grands me out a little bit.

Yeah, because there was a whole big story about yoga mat stuff. It's the same thing with Subway.
I just am weird about the beef. You think there's yoga mats in the there could be yoga mats.

It's weird. Yeah.

But is the steak is the steak is the steak sort of like what level? It's the form factor of steak.

Nowadays they can do that pretty easily. You don't make it seem like it's the food, trick it.
But you're saying that at least this is meat. It's a chunk of steak that I can look at.

It's probably bad steak. It's harder to trick you, though.

It's harder to get a yoga mat into a piece of steak. Yes, thank you.
There you go.

Well, there was a comic friend of mine and this was years ago but he had a bit about how he went to taco bell and they had a sign up that said we're out of order because the meat hose is not working yeah and he had a whole bit of what the fuck is the meat hose i would imagine it's the hose that the meat comes out of but what like what is that meat but i mean i think a lot of the i i don't know how the meat comes out.

I know, I worked at McDonald's. Yeah.
Which doesn't, it's not applicable to Taco Bell. It's a totally different thing.

But I do know that all the sauces gave in those caulking guns where like you, you, you know, that makes sense. That makes sense.

Yeah, you look like you're going to grout your bathroom with this shit. Yeah, but that's good for efficiency.
I feel like that's very efficient. But I do think they still do that.

They do that at all kinds of places. Like, I know, I'll go to A ⁇ W and they'll pull out one of them grout guys and start, you know, putting the mayo on there.

Well, this guy goes, you're thinking of only the cost of the actual sauce and not the logistics behind it in general all food joints would rather customers not fuck with the menu because it's one of the top causes of kitchens getting behind drive-through times getting high and mistakes being made all of which cost money i remember when i was in high school working at burger king and we had a one dollar double cheeseburgers i'd get orders for 10 15 20 at a time and i could do it all in no time it's like muscle memory oh braggart uh now give me five to six doubles that are all altered in some way and now i got to keep looking at the order and doing each one separately.

It could feasibly take me as long as doing five to six altered doubles as I would 20 stock doubles.

I've worked for many high-end places that on busy nights would outright refuse to alter the menu on anything. The cost of food in most restaurants is only like 30% max.

Everything else about the business is why the menu prices would be so high. I'd let the servers order food at cost when working.
They would get a plate we charged $80 to $95 for for $25 to $30.

So he kind of explains it. Then the next guy goes, of course I'm thinking of the logistics.
They're just being dicks. Of course.
Listen, who are you talking to?

Of course I'm thinking what the fucking.

My name is Larry Logistics. I look at my username.
Of course I'm fucking thinking of the logistics. He goes, of course I'm thinking of the logistics.
They're just being dicks.

I can go to Burger King and ask for any sauce they have and they'll put it on for free. Same with extra pickles or lettuce.
McDonald's does charge, but not a lot at all.

Taco Bell used to do do it for a decent price. The amount they give you does not justify.

Just this guy who's like, he kind of knows the ins and outs, like where he can get a little bit of a fucking deal, but it's like for an extra pickle. You know what I mean?

He's like, oh, I'm a bit of a man about town. Like, he's taking a date around town or whatever.
He's like, no, we're going to want to avoid those.

That's going to be 50 cents extra if we want any type of mayo situation on our burgers. Like, yeah, he's like the worst fucking man about town ever.

he was like the opening scene at goodfellas but at taco bell when they're going through the coffa

that's not the opening scene but you know what it is when he it's funny he's like dude hey

do not get extra sour cream at taco bell we're gonna go to burger king we'll get you some pickles instead yeah we'll get yeah listen listen i understand you're a little hungry but we're not getting extra sour cream here

instead in its place i'll drive down the street and buy you some pickles or get you some pickles. I mean, pickles are free.

Like, honestly, I can fucking basically walk in the back alley there, like, knock on the back door, and they'll hand me pickles out of the back door. I know a guy at Wendy's.

I'll give you a whole bag of them. It'll be great.

And, you know, you go to another, you go to McDonald's, you get those onions. Don't get onions on your burrito.
You get the little onions from McDonald's.

They'll just, they'll throw them on the burger. What you do is you buy the burger and you wipe them off onto the thing.
It works great.

He's making five stops for her at Various to get the one thing she wants to save like 60 cents total.

This guy goes, because then you'd see their margins. You'd notice adding potatoes costs 80 cents, but removing them only gives you 30 cents.

Otherwise, you could remove every ingredient and talk about what owe you money for each empty tortilla they want.

Good point. You're just like, yeah, I would like a tortilla with cheese, and I'll take my $2 now.

I'll have the chili cheese burrito. No chili, no cheese.
Yeah, just like those guys who figured out how to game the system on like

lotteries or whatever, you know. But they're like an extreme coupon.
Yeah, coupons, more coupons. That is the culture around these guys.
I'll tell you that right now.

The culture around these guys is like, how do we figure out how to make Taco Bell cheaper?

To the point where they figured out ways where you can like order one menu item and then have this and then add the stuff from another menu item and remove and get something free.

You know what I mean? They're cheaper for a cheaper price. Like, oh, I want the cheesy bean or rice burrito, but I want to add meat and take out the rice or whatever.
You know what I mean?

And then it becomes the thing that they originally wanted, but for cheaper. Like that's, it's like a lot of that.
Do you think that's a result of the

United States failing economy at the moment? I think the economy is great over here for everybody. Everybody's doing great over here.
Even Marjorie Taylor Green was told she loves it. She loves it.

It's never been better. Well, I think also

just great.

We're living well over here. Hey, listen, think, and I just want to be clear.
Things ain't great up here either. You can get free pickles here.
You can get free pickles. You can add pickles.

You can remove pickles. You can do all kinds of things with pickles here.
Buddy, We, I, I,

the, I don't know what it's like fast food-wise, but we ain't got no cheap fast, like the fast food prices now, you're dropping a 20-spot if you go to a fast food

place to just get

any kind of it, like just a simple meal, you know. Like, I know, I love the guys on the Taco Bell subreddit, they're like, it's cheaper to go to Chili's, and it's like, no, it's not.

No, because that's all more expensive than it even used to be. Yeah, everything is incrementally, everything's more expensive now, but it is like, um,

I understand the people trying to get deals at Taco Bell because it's like, hey, fast food is for, you know, people who, generally speaking, don't have that much money to begin with.

And this shit has become so fucking expensive. It's like, hey, man, I'm coming here.
to eat this shit food. I don't want to be paying a bunch of fucking money for it.

I'm going to feel like shit in the morning. At least let me get a deal for it.
So I kind of do, I understand that mindset.

That was like the draw of Taco Bell when I was a kid. Like they were, I forget, but they had some, or maybe it was Taco Bueno, but kind of the same thing.

They had a thing where it was like 49 cents soft tacos. Yeah.
Yeah. Or it was something like that.

$49.79.99 were the three prices. Exactly.

So for whatever group you were in, for your baseball team or your like church group, somebody would go, an adult would go and get 30 soft tacos and just feed everybody.

Like that was the whole, the cheapness was the whole thing. It's like, yeah, it's not great, but it's it's 49 cents for a taco we same with

that was mcdonald's right it's like they had the 69 cent cheeseburgers or hamburgers or whatever we would just go get eight of them or whatever and eat all of those but is is taco bell still

like is it cheaper than the other ones it is if you

okay look i go out to eat a lot because i don't have a lot i don't put groceries in the house and i live downtown so i just go get dinner a lot i like how you describe you know what i mean i just don't put groceries in the house well well i do keep groceries in the house but it's just i'm not i'm bad i don't want to buy stuff and not use it i think you know what i mean are that way um yeah i don't think you're alone in that i can and uh

and yeah talk i had taco bell the other night and it was like 40 bucks

but it was cheaper than what i usually get so i was very happy with it you know what i mean but when i think about it now 40 bucks it was delivered by the way everybody before you get all crazy how much food you order and stuff i got it delivered i tiptoed well.

Before you give Brian shit, he was getting his Taco Bell delivered to his doorstep.

Fucking hell. This guy goes, because consumers tolerate it.
That's why.

And then the guy replies and goes, this can be said about literally everything. The reason Taco Bell exists is because the customers tolerate it.
And then he replies and goes, exactly.

If you don't want it to happen, don't tolerate it. And show it with your money.
Yep. Boycott time.
Let's go.

If you boycott Taco Bell, they will. It's like I used to always say this about Walmart, and I don't go to Walmart, okay? I go there sometimes, to be honest.

I do grocery shopping there because fucking groceries here are so expensive. Walmart's one of the only places around town that has three groceries in my house.
Yeah, I know.

That wouldn't be an issue for you. And there's no wall.
The Walmart's nowhere near. Like, I would have to drive like 30 minutes to get to a Walmart.

Walmart's at Metro Town Mall, my favorite mall, Brian. That's where Walmart is.
So, I mean, I'm there all the time anyway.

But I remember boycotting it, and now I'm like, I don't think I'm doing much good. You know what I mean? I don't go there, but it's not.

At one point, you start, you sort of, you maybe caught a news story in the financial section about their quarterly earnings, and you thought this boycott might not be gaining enough steam.

These guys didn't make like $200 a month, and they might go out of business or something. You know what I mean?

This guy goes, I've come to the conclusion that Taco Bell will only be an out-of-town special needs traveling fast food if that I ordered four if that I ordered four items it was 27.46 and I forgot the drink yeah I swapped steak on three quarters of it and that sucks uh 30% could have $30 could have gotten me a lot more food from a similar similar culinary style place

oh he caused

yeah so he did the steak swap too he did what you

Do you and that

oh, yeah, it caught I mean, it's always gonna cost more to do steak steak instead of yoga matte burger. So they're, they're basically what kind of brilliant from Taco Bell.

They've made just the nastiest beef, and they're just like, no, no, our tacos are really cheap. No, no, seriously, take some, take some of that.

And it's just like, looks like literal, like, heaping piles of

dung. And they're like, no, no, put that in there.
Or you can fucking upgrade $2 and you get the steak.

I feel like it's also like a relic from an era when like just food in general, I feel like was worse. Like just, we didn't expect as much.

Like, you didn't have sort of higher end, like, there might be one in town, like, where I grew up. Like, there might be a couple, but like, you sort of knew fast food was shit and like accepted.

But, like, Taco Bell was like a pillar of fast food. It was like, if you're going for fast food, we're going to get burgers.
We're going to get fried chicken or we're going to get Taco Bell.

Like, yeah, it was one of those. Pizza, maybe.
Maybe I guess pizza is different. Pizza's different.
It's mostly delivered. Maybe sliced pizza.
But like, yeah, you're right.

It's going to be like McDonald's, KFC, Taco Bell. Those are kind of the big three, I think.
Yeah. At the age I am, and, you know, you guys are both close to me, like

we got hit in about 2007 or something. I think it was 2001.

That was us. Don't you fucking act like it happened to you.
It's not funny either. It stole a dollar.
I know. Come on.
It happened to all of us if you think about it. It happened to me.

Personally, it happened to me, not you. It happened to all of us.

there. I happened to my friend Steve.
I happened to my friend Steve.

Brian Ranazeezy.

I was there

in the fucking towers. It was scary.

No, it was noodle. I was legit scared.
No, I was legit scared.

But I'm saying around 2007, and maybe this is just because I was such white trash, but that's when I was like sort of hip to like local food. You know what I mean? Like when I was growing up,

local meant something bad. It's like, oh, that's a mom and pop.

Well, I don't know what they're doing with that food. I want to go to Applebee's.
I don't remember if it was 2007, but there definitely was a shift where it just like sort of the

emphasis seemed to be on, yeah, eating local. That's like a big initiative,

I think, happened like, seemed to happen like all over the place. It did.
And the Food Inc., I believe it was the movie Food Inc. happened.
And Supersize Me and

See Super Size Me.

Same thing. I boycotted McDonald's for a year and I was like, why are they still in business?

Yes, I'm the same. And that's the thing.
That's the thing. It's like now at that point then we were taught to believe that all the fast food was just the worst crap on the planet.

You should never eat it and you should only eat it. But by the way,

they continued to do really good business. So everyone believed that, but everyone was still like, when no one was looking, everyone was like, maybe I'll have a little quarter pounder.

You know, like that was because I don't know the stuff I will say, because I'll still do it now every now and then. I had some fucking chicken McNuggets from McDonald's the other

day. Like I don't do it that often, but I'll do it sometimes.
The stuff tastes so damn good with that barbecue sauce. You know, I mean, I love it.
Put a little vinegar on my french fries.

I mean, I'm, it's

McDonald's french fries. You just put ketchup on those.
No, actually, you can put fucking vinegar on it, and it's delicious.

They don't have vinegar. Right.
Well, that's because you guys aren't because you guys aren't. You bring in the fucking Commonwealth, and so you don't get vinegar at your McDonald's.

But we get vinegar at our McDonald's because we're part of the fucking Commonwealth. It's like a fish and chips whole.
Fish and chips type shit, although it is white vinegar.

But it's, I grew up having it, so I really enjoy it. But I prefer malt vinegar on my French fries like a normal Commonwealth person.

This guy has a good point, and I thought this post would be good for everybody. Chick-fil-A is the most ethically correct fast food place because of this.
Wait, isn't that the one home of all?

But they don't charge, they take all he goes, uh, they're the only ones to give you a discount if you remove ingredients, and the only one that lets you use multiple rewards at once.

Oh, okay, so I see, but they are ethically correct, also.

I wouldn't call that.

I would lean away from ethically correct.

It's well run, though. Chick-fil-A.
Like, they might hate gay people, but have you ever been to a Chick-fil-A?

You have the nicest, most fresh-faced Mormon kid taking your order, and like, and they're quick.

And it was drive-through has like a guy with a fucking tablet in his hand, like standing in the drive-through, and there's two lines, and they're just moving so fast. It's crazy.

Yeah, it's listen, I'm an I'm I'm no, I'm a noted bisexual, and

really enjoyed their sauces and their waffle fries. And I went to what you got a problem with the waffle fries? The sauces.
Oh, the sauces are fantastic. I like the sauce so much.

Okay, you're just not

saucy. I like the sauce.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But

I went to the one on, close to Hollywood. I went to the one in Los Angeles.
I've said before,

when Stephan and Rob Wisman lived in Hollywood, they lived really close to a Chick-fil-A. So we would go eat there quite often.
And

it was really, really good. I will say that.
For fast food, it was really good. Definitely.
So this next post is from R slash Taco Bell. I need to share you a picture.

This caused a lot of consternation. We're going to read a real argument here.
Okay, you want to add $1 sour cream? No, thanks. I'll bring my own.
Now, a guy.

This motherfucker brought his own sour cream.

So you can see why

he needs to bring his own because he has so much on it.

There's never been more sour cream on anything. And by the way, he brought it in a baggie, like a

not a Ziploc, even a sandwich bag. A sandwich bag filled with sour cream that he then had to like open the corner of.

You can kind of see how it came out with the little lines on it from the top of the bag, you know, so it's sort of a custom dispenser. Yeah,

he's got his own gun.

I mean, I like a lot of astounding amount of sour cream. I like a lot of sour cream.
I like a lot of sour cream. I love sour cream on the side of taco.
Yeah.

This, this is, yeah, as a, like, I'm, I'm, this is what I like on my talk. I like sour cream.
I like some jalapenos, you know. I like some cheese.
I like it pretty simple, some lettuce.

It's like an $8 taco. But this amount of sour cream is,

to the listeners, this is a disgusting amount of sour cream. There's no chance you would be tasting anything else in this other than sour sour cream.
You would have it spilled all over you.

It would be squirting out the sides all over your shirt. It's a nightmare.
You got it in your console, in your car? Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

Where it's in one of the cups, the empty cup holder, because there's never anybody else in the car with you.

You'd be smelling something fucking months on and realize it's fucking some of this sour cream that squirted out of this insane taco you made.

This guy goes, At what point do you just cook at home?

Well, that's a good question. Hey, well, the OP does reply to that, and he goes, I cook at home all the time.

Actually, I'm in the long process of making Gyatsaku ramen, but it won't be ready to assemble until tomorrow. Taco Bell sounded good for something quick.

He went a little overboard with his defense. You know what I mean? He's like, no, no, I'm making like

I'm making some like super long, involved, like, I'm actually like a crazy chef that you can't even comprehend.

It's like, I don't know if I believe him for sure, but that's, you can, yeah, listen, just because you cook at home and then also go out. Like, that's what most people do.

Well, the guy replies, this is, this argument is so good.

Guy replies and goes, but you think it's unreasonable to drive to the store to buy taco ingredients?

So he's like, why don't you make your own fucking tacos, which is a psycho thing to say because

you're going.

It's obvious you're going to Taco Bell because you don't want to make your own fucking taco. That's the answer to the question.
But the guy's just like. You don't have to make dishes.

You don't have to like. Yeah, I mean, it's also, yeah, of course.
There's like ingredients that, like, how many tacos are you going to make? You can't buy like a single serving amount of taco stuff.

So now you have a bunch of leftover stuff. Are you going to use it for other things?

He addresses that. Okay, okay.
He goes, you're missing the whole point here. Let it go.
The OP says it. Let it go.
Trust me. Let it go.

Fucking drop it. I'll do this all day.
And And he's it. This guy did it.
Yeah, this guy.

This guy's like, I'm warning you right now.

I will not stop. I am in the middle of making a four-day-long ramen.
I have all the time in the world.

That's why, actually, I didn't read the post where he explains the ramen, but it's like something that's like...

It takes three days to assemble it. And he's like explaining it.
It's like, okay. He goes, I'm really not missing the point.
You seem to be missing mine.

Instead of telling me to let it go, why don't you just move on from this discussion? Block me if that's what you feel you must do.

So, so this, this is a, this is a standoff where they're just like, they've learned, obviously, is like,

this is the old school, like, I want to say dirt rig Twitter, like early Twitter kind of mindset of like, the first person who blocks is the loser, you know, the person who like, this is some internet brain shit for sure, where it's just like, neither one of them wants to continue this, but they're both too proud to walk away because they don't don't want to lose.

So they're just like, well, why don't you block me, good sir?

That's okay.

I believe the block button is available for both of us, my good Matt.

And he goes, that's okay. Just your argument's invalid.
Then somebody jumps in. We got to jump in.
So

this is known as a Bram Stoker.

Oh, see, I was thinking they were really heated and they were just two more exchanges away from like threatening each other and like saying DM me your address.

Well, they do and they did end up DMing each other later on. So the person jumps in and goes, How does adding a single ingredient mean that he should cook at home?

And our guy pops back and he goes, There's only a handful of other ingredients in the taco.

If you're going to take the time to prep the food at the house, like packing sour cream into a little baggie and sealing it shut, you might as well just make the taco at the house.

Well, I don't know about that. I think, again,

you're going to have to go to the store in one of them.

You have to drive and then come back home and then make it and then again i think a big thing for people is the dishes those darn dishes when you make tacos you got a lot you got those dishes and they're nasty you're making the tacos in the pan or whatever and it's like you got to really you got to wash that right away you got to get a soap going on it maybe yeah cooking for one sucks all stupid yeah it's pointless and like i'm with sour cream guy i feel it because like that's his condiment that he like like i'm a big thing of ketchup at home because they never give me enough ketchup so i get it and like do you you bring it?

Do you bring it out with you? You bring your ketchup? No, I don't bring it out. No, I go with that, but I don't bring it up.
Oh, because you're ordering food. So you just know, like, yeah, that's it.

I bring it home. And I got my big-ass thing of Heinz.
And yeah, every bite needs to have ketchup on it. It's like,

I kind of, the only thing I'm down on is when I see the photo, it's like, it is just a bag.

And I'd like to see him get a nicer, more professional dispenser for his sour cream, just a little more, like one of the guns or whatever, like talk to one of the, you know, cozy up to one of the workers or whatever, as a manager, and say, where do you get your guns from?

You're just, you know, what a fast food. I'll tell you what I would do.
I have a great thing that I would do. I would clean out a hand soap dispenser.

Oh. Just clean it out, you know, and then

you can just. What about a squirt gun? I mean, a squirt gun is a classic.
I don't think it'll make it through the hose, but I would try it. Yeah, I would try it.

I'm not saying maybe you could water it down a little. They do use low fat.

I mean, there must be, maybe you have to, yeah potentially you might have to you know get the make the hole a bit bigger on the squirt gun you know you get your tools out a little bit and instead of having just a little squirt on the end you take the whole front part of it off right and then you just have a dispenser out of that this is one of those things where one of his buddies like for for the holidays or something needs to get it for him like as a joke but also a real give hey man i got you a gun for one of those soup for the sour cream so now you can do it and everybody will have a good everyone's but he'll use it but he'll use it.

Everyone has a laugh, and then he gives him a hug, and then he's just like, Man, I totally respect the way you eat, dude. Like, he says that in his ear, and it's like a really nice moment.

I'm looking at how much sour cream is on the

wait. We don't care about sour cream, we want to know how much it's a dollar.
It's

a sour cream dispenser. Can you look at how much? I mean, what would you use? I guess an icing, an icing gun or whatever, right? An icing gun? That would be good.
That's a good one.

That's a good idea. Yeah.

Icing.

The icing is thicker than sour cream.

But it's similar viscosity, I think.

Enough that you're on the right track. You can get one for $27.
No, that's 30 tacos you'd have to. But I'll be honest with you, $27 as well.
I wouldn't cheap out on it.

I would try to look for a more expensive one. You want this to last.

You want this as something you can hand down to your kids or whatever. Buy it.
Buy it. Buy it once.

This person goes. This guy goes, How long do you think it takes to package sour cream? You're being ridiculous.

And he replies, ridiculous is bringing ingredients with you to a fast food restaurant. I mean,

not totally ridiculous, but yeah, definitely out of the ordinary and definitely, I think, a little bit odd and maybe a little funny, a little quirky.

And then he goes, I'll bring my own implies. They have brought the sour cream with them from the house to a destination.

The table appearing to be a Taco Bell table gives the impression that they brought the sour cream to the Taco Bell.

And then he gets a reply and goes, proper taco meat takes about 10, 20 minutes of prep and at least an hour to cook. That's an insane number.
That's insane. I'm not sure how you're cooking your tacos.

So he's really letting that shit simmer or whatever. He's really doing a slow.
I mean, listen,

artisan taco meat. Yeah, and I think that that's that's honestly like probably like people who make actual, they're probably like, oh, that's not even long enough.
You know what I mean?

Like a real ground beef you can't do in an hour. You can't do ground beef for an hour.
There's no possible recipe in which which you would brown ground beef for

a really low, a really, really low, low amount to just like soak up the like

taco seasoning or whatever. I don't know.

I feel like

that's about 45 to 48 minutes longer than what I would be accustomed to. Well, this person goes, sour cream is extremely quick and easy to apply to a taco, especially if you bring a squeeze bottle.

Agreed. So

they're with us. Like, hey, maybe get yourself a better bottle.
Yeah. Well, then the guy replies and goes,

but then what do you do with the rest of the bottle of sour cream? If you're out and about, you're not going to have refrigeration.

So you would essentially be sacrificing an entire bottle of sour cream to save the dollar of having Taco Bell at it.

Sounds like you need to get yourself a cooler, a small cooler.

What are we talking about? That's not that expensive. Get yourself a small cooler or like a, you could drive, like have like a cooler in the back of your thing or whatever.

You can keep just your condiments in there, like all of them.

Yeah, you could have other ones too, because presumably he might go to different establishments where they don't have enough of what he's looking for.

I get them, they don't charge for ketchup anywhere. No, you're right.
Ketchup is you're right. Ketchup don't fucking give you ketchup.
They don't give you kids.

Why doesn't you just go get ketchup to add to the burrito? He does because, yeah, you're right. Ketchup's in the packets.

Like, you can grab handfuls of it, and like, nobody gives a fucking sour cream. Sour cream, people really

care about a lot at a restaurant. 95 cents on a $2 burrito is like kind of that's a lot.
Sour cream. Yeah, it's a 50.

I mean,

sour cream is a hot commodity. Guacamole is the only one I can think of that's going to fetch you a higher

on the market. It's going to fetch you a higher fucking yield.
It's going to be, I mean, like,

sometimes I think guacamole could be $2 or some shit to to add. Yeah, so the cantina chicken burrito, $7.44.

Woof, a Taco Bell. And actually, it's $6.44, and then I added sour cream.
It made it $7. This guy goes, you think you're hacking the system, but it just looks ridiculous.

I brought hot sauce because I happen to have it in a car, but bringing your own sour cream is crazy. At least bring it home and add it.
The hot sauce thing is on the same level, my man. I'm sorry.

You're the same guy. You're the same exact thing.
You did the same exact thing as him. You can't say, I just happened to have some hot sauce on me.
Why? Why did you happen to have it on you?

No, people carry hot sauce around. People carry like a little thing of Tabasco or something, like the little bottle.
There's hot sauce people out there. I mean,

those are hot sauce guys. Probably don't have any Scoville's.
We did an episode on hot sauce, guys, so we know about them and how crazy they can be about and how they bring their own sauces.

But to normal people, that appears the same

as the person doing the sour cream, I would say. I agree.
Good point. And the guy goes, everything's cold and soggy by that time.
So he just doesn't want a soggy burrito.

He wants to get the burrito as hot as possible, which, by the way, this is just not a Taco Bell is lukewarm. I've never had hot food at Taco Bell.
Honestly, I've never had hot, fast food in my life.

They don't want it to be hot, right? It's because everybody's so

drunked up or whatever, all fucked up and they're just scarf. Or they just want to scarf it.

So I think maybe if they made it too hot, then people would be pissed because they'd be like i gotta wait to eat the fucking burrito you know you'd have like another hot coffee lawsuit or something if it wasn't too hot yeah but i'm saying like you will never in your life ever i i'm 45 years old i've never had hot i've never gotten food at a fast food place and be like wow that's too hot it's never happened sometimes

sometimes the fries are a little bit if they're right out of the oil yeah popeyes popeyes popeyes chicken i oftentimes the chicken sandwich at uh Popeyes Chicken is like too hot to eat for like

up in Canada. They're just not doing it right.

Here's a question: I got it in America.

I got it at that one in Hollywood as well.

That was the one that I've talked about on the podcast. I went with Dan O'Sullivan

last guest, Dan O'Sullivan. Him and I went and got the famous

spicy chicken sandwich. He said, Fuck you the last time I was in LA.
Oh, he didn't want to hang out with me. I know he called me smelly.

Yeah,

he was excited to hang out. Yeah, I hang out with a lot of people.
You know, he didn't want anything to do with me. Okay, so this person asked a good question.

Anybody else looking really old after eating Taco Bell too often?

I keep eating Taco Bell because I was driving a lot and getting hungry. There was that online exclusive $8 for a quesadilla.
I added chicken, burrito, potatoes, and a drink.

I guess I find Taco Bell soothing. It does taste yummy.
It has something in it that makes a person crave it and want it again. But after eating it a lot recently, I look 20 years older.

My face is puffy and I look like a cow. I feel like I was making so much progress and losing weight before I ate it almost every day for two weeks.
I thought it was a small snack.

I feel so embarrassed by how I look. I'm trying to eat pineapple and oatmeal and drink lots of water and sleep a lot and hope my face returns back to normal.
It will.

I mean, if it's only two weeks, if they're saying it was just eating it straight for two weeks, I feel like your face will return to normal. Even if it was for a long time

if you eat healthy and stuff like that. That is a

pineapple and oatmeal. That's the secret.
I mean, that sounds, that's pretty, that's, you know, that's a decent little thing in the morning or whatever.

I feel like taco eating fast food regularly, I don't know over that period of time, but I think it'll probably make you look, it'll age you possibly, you know, certainly

you can look a little unhealthy if you're always eating it. Here's a cool answer.
He goes, it's the cheese that makes a person person crave it. Cheese can be mildly addictive.

That sounds like something a stupid guy was told by another stupid guy. I'm sorry.

It's like, you ever notice how often you eat cheese? It's like, yeah.

Think about it. Think about it.

When they ask you,

they say you want cheese on your burger. What do you think? You always say yes, don't you? Why is that?

Why is that?

A majority of Taco Bell food has cheese integrated or comes with the nacho cheese sauce. We've integrated cheese into these.

All right. Let's take a look at Quara real quick.

This person says, I was in line for Taco Bell when this woman cut in front of me. Should I have said something?

Okay, so this is less about Taco Bell, just kind of about politeness. But I think, yes, if someone cuts in line, you should say, excuse me.

You know,

there's a line up here.

That's actually,

guys, I'm afraid that's not the answer.

No way. I would call them out and say, hey, the line ends back there, okay? No cutting.
If they want to be rude about it, I raise my voice just a tad and say, cutter, get out of the line.

You're cutting in someone else's place. I'd make them embarrassed.
Hey, y'all, I know that the line ends up back there, right? And that I'm in this line too.

You mind getting to the back of the line like everyone else? It depends on the person to how you respond to their actions. But calling them out for cutting a line is the best thing to do.

It shames them. It brings attention to the fact that they're cutting a line.

And if they don't get back in line where they're supposed to, most cash register people will tell them they have to get back in line. It's not their turn.

Yeah, I don't like cutters, and I will call them out every time. Okay, bye-bye.
Okay, bye-bye. So, okay, bye-bye.
Okay, bye-bye. Ending your votes with okay, bye-bye.

I think that I agree that you should just kind of say, maybe make less of a spectacle, I think.

Like, I would say to someone like, hey, there's, I think I've, I've experienced this before, you know, where someone's cut in line before, and I'm like, hey, are you, there's a lot, there's a line, you know, or

do you know there's a line? Like, the, we got it, we're lining up here. But I think I've definitely had it where the person was just like, either ignored me or just like, was like, yeah, what?

Or something like that. And I was like, all right, I'm going to end it there.
You know, I don't really want to have a confrontation with this old lady or whatever. Like, it's not a big deal.

Just let her go in front. I don't think stomping and blowing a whistle whistle and being like, cut her, cut her, we've got to cut her in the line.
Cutter, like,

that's, I don't know about that.

I would just assume anyone inside a Taco Bell could kick my ass. So I would never say anything.
True.

I always assume that everywhere. Well, not, I had, I wish I had.
There was a time in my life where nobody could kick my ass. Really? Oh, when you had a bunch of bigger, tougher guys around you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Those were the days. Why do they advertise it as the Y2K menu and use a song from 2001 in the commercial when the food came out over a decade after that?

And he posts the AI overview. Taco Bell released the Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos in 2013 with the nationwide debut occurring on March 7th, 2013.

The new flavor was introduced the year after the successful launch of the original Doritos Locos taco. And he goes, it's awful marketing in in my opinion.

It just annoys me every time I see the commercial. Do they think people don't remember when both came out? They weren't even remotely close to the same time period in anything in the social world.

Fashion was different. Music was different.
When I hear Some 41 and think of a time period, Cool Ranch tacos weren't even an idea yet. And I think about

who fucking cares.

I don't say that often because I know you could say it to a lot of the posts that we read or whatever, you know, so I try to avoid saying it. But like, truly, who fucking cares, man?

man like we're talking about an ad here or whatever and they're whether he's mad they're mixing up the i do miss old some 41

some 41 remember they're in the they're in the pool they're playing their music in the pool i just thought of um a pretty funny scene to me and that was like a bunch of fucking guys who Queber had instigated fights with catching him slipping without his boys.

And it wouldn't do it anyway. Just catching him out at the wall or whatever and being like cornering him and being like, You don't got porno Sean here, do you? Like that, that would be a great.

I mean, porn O'Shaugham would have taken care of it later,

you know. I mean, it would have never happened, but anyway, this guy.
So, what he's saying is they released a Y2K menu recently, they brought back some stuff around 2000.

Now, not they, and Dorito's Love Ghost Tacos, the Cool Ranch version was a part of that,

but that came out in 2013. Yeah, and also

the song by by Some 41, that came out in 2001. That's not even Y2K.

And he's kind of mad about this.

It's so weird to see. It's like they're the Taco Bell equivalent of Disney adults.
Like they identified so much with this for-profit fucking company, but it's something about.

Well, at least like, yeah, Disney, you can kind of like understand it. It's, it's, it's scary and weird because it's like, you know, but it's like their childhood.

They're desperately clinging to this like from their

but I guess maybe it's the same with Taco Ville maybe you went when you were a kid so often with your family or whatever and now it's like a big part of your life but like yeah it does feel weird to get invested in any way with the advertisements and like just the like the product launches and things like that like it's weird to um interact with the fast food place in any way other than going there and making your order and then leaving

bringing a bag of sour cream if you need to yeah so this guy goes because because it was a really popular song from the 2000s.

And the OP responds and goes, and that's a real popular taco from the 2010s. Again, they're over a decade apart, not related by any means.

And he goes, I honestly didn't think the Cool Ranch shells were that old, but at my age, everything that feels like it happened a year ago was actually 20 years ago. So I just assumed it was my brain.

Maybe that's what the director's kind of the point is trying to make through that. You know, that it's like, God, we don't even remember when stuff happened anymore.

This guy goes, I support petty beefs, have my up vote. And he gets the reply from the OT, thank you kindly.

Then this guy goes, get a life, bro.

Yeah, that's me. Well, unfortunately, he searched the guy and he goes, says the Gen Z, self-diagnosed, autistic, soccer, and Taco Bell obsessed superhero fan.
Got it.

Oh, damn, went through the post-history.

The guy just replies, actually, it's called the football.

This guy goes, it's called the decades menu, something from each decade. Connect the dots and then get to reply.
It may be from the decades menu, but it's being promoted in the Y2K meal.

Y2K equals 2000, not 2013. OP is correct about it being an annoying form of advertising.
Yep. Yeah, no, it is no place in the Y2K menu.

Yeah. So, all right.
So we all go our separate ways now?

Actually, no. Okay.

This guy says in the grand scheme of things, who cares? Yeah, no, that's, yeah. Well, okay.
Why are you taking his side? Have you heard this person?

And that's why they did it. Because if anyone were to give a fuck, who cares? It's just a Taco Bell commercial.
Eat it, LM F.A.O. Let's all just be stupid just because.

So

I didn't quite follow that. That's why they did it.
They did it because who would fucking care? You know what I mean?

They did it because they're just like, that's why because we let them get away with that type of thing because they're like yeah we're not no one's gonna hold our feet to the fire on this so why don't we just go like they're sitting there in a marketing meeting they're like god but that's from 2013 they're like nobody's gonna

care these idiots don't know what the to do you know so if we start

you know boycott again i don't like to use the word boycott you know me i hate that cancel culture stuff but i think we need to boycott taco bell well the guy goes i mean that's why that's what they do they put out limited time offers every month and all the taco bell fans rush to taco bell to try them including myself it's not a matter of being stupid it's more just like who cares like why is this taking up so much space in op's mind that he has to come on reddit to rant about it it's so true like the biggest enemy is complacency and if you let your if you let your guard down in politics and fast food all of a sudden they're sneaking shit from 2013 into the fucking y2k menu oh forget about it, Brian.

Well, what about they start slipping stuff from 2020 into that menu? Stuff from 1973 into the menu. I mean, they don't even get, nobody's going to fucking do shit about it.
They know that now.

The fucking groundwork has been laid, and you're going to see shit from all kinds of years in that menu. This is why you got to boycott, you got to send death threats to people.

You have to go all your life. Brian knows all about that.
Brian knows all about that and edited out of the episode. Yeah, I'm going to.
No, he made some replies.

He made some pretty seriously damning comments and had to get cut out of it.

This guy goes, it's not to try. It's a nostalgia pool to get it again.
It's a matter of being stupid.

If you're willing to accept things that are blatantly wrong because they're unimportant without being able to acknowledge flaws or misinformation, such as a large corporation listing a product as being from a decade it wasn't, that's your prerogative.

I don't like to take things at face value simply because it doesn't impact my life. I don't.
Taco Bell said the majority of their customers won't give a fuck and they're right.

It bothered me the second I saw it because

this is the point. Pointing at it like the Leo thing, like that meme, like just like, what?

That I

really feel this type of person is really like, because they are, they have just come on to here to have an argument. That's all that they're looking to do.

They're getting like every little bit of minutiae. They're getting like, that's all they want to do is argue.
And it is,

this person is just insufferable.

They might be a little neurodivergent, too, and it's just sticking in their craw, and they can't let it go.

Taco Bell said the majority of their customers won't give a fuck, and they're right. It bothered me the second I saw it because I remember being a freshman in high school when those came out.

But I don't create posts often. That's why I'm still going back and forth with you in the comments.
And he replies and goes, it's a taco, bro. It's not that deep.

And then goes, choosing to be stunted because it's easier for you is a poor choice. But it's yours to make.
I never said it was deep.

I said it's misinformation and annoying advertising because of that.

Trying to diminish the subject to make yourself feel better when I never made it out to be important in the first place is also incredibly stupid.

I mean, the guide's right, it's not that deep, but he's also writing it's not that deep in the Taco Bell forum on Reddit. So it's like he came to their layer to

like, you know, kind of like that. Yeah, he's got to understand that if you're in that subreddit, you are going to encounter people who think it is that deep.
It's important.

It's like the most you're a Taco Bell guy. Yes.
You know what I mean?

But I think this is one of those situations when we encounter it where even amongst the other guys, they're all kind of like, all right, calm down, man. You're making us look fucking insane, man.

We're not like this, are we?

Well, listen to this post.

If you see something that you know is wrong and don't think it's a problem, that's choosing to be stunted.

I haven't considered it at all past my initial reaction to this post, but that doesn't make what I've stated any less true. It's not cynical.
It's literally right in front of us currently, LMAO.

It's slapped on YouTube ads, Taco Bell windows, mail coupons.

If you want to say I'm on a soapbox for noticing it and agreeing with this poster pointing it out, that's a typical stance to take when you have nothing left to actually say about the subject.

It's incredible how you aren't even defending them. And I have no actual take on this other than you're unbothered.

You're just going at me because you're bored and need to teach me a lesson or something. Dude, no, it's not okay that a huge company is lumping things together and falsely advertising things.

And no, at this scale, it's not important at all. I have no idea why the fuck you need things reiterated.
That is the end of the argument.

Well, yeah, that's an argument ender right there because that's, I think, when you're like, when you're you're sort of talking to this person, you're like, okay, this person's getting angry now.

I feel like this person, if they have tech, you know, if they have a lot of savvy and tech, could they find my IP address?

Is this person going to be able to, you know, hassle me? And then you just kind of move on. Or maybe somebody in your life, like your partner, just says, like, okay.

That message means we're going to walk away from this.

You're telling your partner about it. Yeah, you're telling your partner.
This guy thinks it's not important. She's reading over the...

no no this the other guy is has the partner this the person who's saying it's important i believe is sitting alone in the room typing this out and the other person has the partner who's saying honey this last message is too far we got to get out of here she's like it is time for dinner with your family right now why are you still arguing on the top yeah i get it it's not important yes if it's not important then you need to come have your dinner with us right now have your taco bell

and this guy goes to the table

He comes up to eat his dinner with his family, and it's Taco Bell laid out on the table like that Trump photo. You know,

he comes and eats Taco Bell. His whole family eats other stuff, like homecock.

Everybody's eating a real meal, like chicken and potatoes and vegetables and stuff. And he's eating Taco.
His wife had 30. He's got 30 soft tacos lined up in front of him.

Honey, can you watch dinner while I go get your dinner at Taco Bell?

No.

I'm busy.

One of you kids bring the sour cream over. Yeah.

Guy's too busy arguing with somebody to watch the dinner for the rest of his family while his wife goes and gets his Taco Bell.

Yes. Hey, you know, that's an intense argument.

One other, before we get to reviews, which are all so good,

the last one I wanted to bring up, there's two things I want to bring up because any Taco Bell guy listening to this show will be mad if I don't bring this up. One,

they do Tuesday drops. Okay.

Like a streetwear company? Yeah.

So every Tuesday at a certain time,

the menu will, it'll be like $1 taco box. or something like that.
Just like something like that. You've never seen more people mad that they don't win a drop.

I mean, like, I've seen like Supreme drops and stuff like that, where people are more laid back about how they're like, oh, so they give 30,000 of them out and they're gone in two minutes?

What the fuck? And they were like, so mad. But it's food.
People have got to eat food.

So I think there is a little bit more of like where they're just like, oh, fuck, I want that shit so bad, you know? But it's food you can order any other day of the week at Taco Bell.

But not at that price. Not at that price.
No. You're right.
It's a special price. And they are very price-sensitive over there.
Yeah, so they're the most price-sensitive because they're not spending.

Listen, if your Taco Bell is coming to $27,

that's problematic. That is also a choice you're making.
Yeah.

Because you can eat it at Taco Bell for luck. You're victim blaming.
I am. Because they're adding stuff and taking stuff off.
I mean, you know that. You know that.

You're a famous, your finger smoothie is famous for being, what, $100? You had a smoothie that costs $100.

$20,

and that was a long time ago. Still, though, no,

that was a long time ago, like before a lot of the inflation that we've seen. So this was like $20, but this was a long time ago.
In today's money, it's basically $60, $70.

No, it's not a $70. Is it $20? Every smoothie is $20.

You can't get a smoothie for less than $20. That's not true.
Make it at home. That's not true.

I go to get a smoothie regularly, actually,

and it costs $8.95

You fucking full of shit. No way.
No, I swear to God. I swear to God Brian I will send you I will send you a thing on the show to win an argument.
He's lying. I am not lying.
I will prove it.

I will post it on the Instagram.

Everybody send me a message on the Instagram when this episode comes out and say, hey, post the thing of the smoothie that you get.

I put an add-on in there. It's free.
It's an energy booster and it's free. They give it to me on the house.
That's what I put an add-on too.

And then a few other ones. You put a couple of add-ons.
I've seen your. I've seen it.
It looks like a goddamn CVS receipt, you know, when you finish with your smoothie.

I always add blueberries to everything, which isn't.

Is this like when Republicans would go to the store, go somewhere, and they'd get a bunch of add-ons. They'd be like, thanks, Joe Biden.
The hamburger's $30 now.

Chris is being like that because at Smoothie's $20. At Smoothie King, a smoothie is $20.

A medium smoothie at Smoothie King,

there's no way to get around it. And every time you go to Smoothie King, you're like, God damn, that was $20.

But honestly, a meal is $20 these days. I feel like fast food, it's almost like become like comic books.
It feels like their industry is shrinking, like not as many people are getting it.

So they're just monetizing the shit out of the people who are still around. Yeah.
And also, it is like that is for Taco Bell,

just being like, hey, you can do anything you want to this fucking thing, but everything costs some amount of money. Oh, you can have all the jalapenos you want for fucking 35 cents.

You can have the sour cream if you want it.

It's a dollar more. Like when you're paying a dollar more for it, that's like a decent amount.
But again.

You could still go to Taco Bell and order things as is and have a relatively cheap meal. You probably eat there for 15 bucks, maybe.
You know what I mean?

I'm interested to think how, I think that there's that fast food is still super popular. I don't know.

I wonder what the numbers are like. I wonder, but I guess there is all the like alternatives that are not, that are still kind of fast food, but healthier versions of fast food now.
They have those.

And I think those are probably more popular as well. But I would be interested to see the numbers on like McDonald's.

I would say maybe more popular in that there are communities around them. There's Taco Bell guys.
But that's like a Taco Bell subbrand.

That's what stuff is like for everything now. But there's just like, hey, I like Costco.
And it's like, I'm going to fucking wear a Costco t-shirt. Like, I, you know what I mean?

I wear it, like, you know, it's like, I'm going to, like, yeah, like brands having clothes and stuff like that. Like, like, that type of shit has become that way with everything, I feel.

I almost bought some Kirkland Air Force ones

on StockX, and I was like, you know what? Hey, no, no disrespect to people who wear a Kirkland t-shirt. I know a lot of people do.

I'm thinking of like an actual Costco brand one or whatever. And then maybe even not even Costco, just other places, you know, where they're just like, yeah, get one of our t-shirts now.

And it's like a grocery store or whatever. Another thing that they're obsessed with is the volcano menu.

Which is a menu of very spicy stuff. And guy goes, seriously, what's it going to take to get the volcano menu back? And he goes, it's gone.
It's extinct. Yeah, they got rid of it.
It's a limited time.

He goes, it's crazy. There's no reason not to have it.
People loved it. And this guy replies, he goes, I'm right there with you.

If it ever comes back, I'll eat it seven days a week until they take it away from me again.

Eating seven-day-a-week volcano menu Taco Bell sounds like something that your ass would literally fist fight you to stop you from doing. I mean, that

will definitely age you. Like that last poster.
That will make you an old man immediately. For sure.

I mean, and he goes, the volcano taco is quite literally one of the greatest things I've ever eaten. And it's certainly my favorite item Taco Bell has ever released.
I wonder if the Scoville's on it.

I wonder like how hot we're doing. Wow, this guy goes too spicy for the average person.
Taco Bell knows that. In order to make the most money, they must cast the widest net.

Every large company in every industry is doing this, and we get stuck with uninspired slop. It won't stop till we stop giving them money.

Boycott time.

The Taco Bell guys are right. They're on a hair trigger.

I hate boycotts, but I got to agree with this guy. It might be time for a boycott.

All right. Push too far.
Yeah. Honestly, you can only push them in too far.
And I've been anti-boycott my whole life, but I'm going to be boycotting Taco Bell. Here's another one.

Who banned the Taco Bell dog?

We talked about this. Well, I think he passed away.
It was a small dog.

The company decided to get rid of him when they noticed it could possibly be seen as racist, influenced by radicals that also suddenly caused issues with products like Uncle Ben's Rice and Aunt Jemima's syrup.

So it's a little did it get caught up in that or they just assumed

because I never saw any, like, I remember the article, I remember the articles about the other stuff that he mentioned, but I don't remember the dog. The Taco Bell Dog had been gone for a decade.

Yeah, it was just a thing whose time had run its course.

Yeah, that's the Dell guy. Yeah.
Yeah, people move on. Like they get new spokes.
Like there'll be a new spokesperson. They get a new Smokes Dog.

Yeah. Did I say Smokes Dog? I listen.
You did. Wait,

why did you say that? Well, because somebody's going to say he said Smokes Dog. No, I mean, but why did you say Smokes Dog? I meant to say Smokes Dog.

I see. You said they get a new Spokesperson.
I said they get a new Smokes Dog.

Yeah, I was really confused. I thought you were talking about some company called Smokes or something because it didn't make sense to me.
I'll be honest with you.

I was like, what is this guy talking about? And I don't want to keep repeating Smokes Dog because I feel like when I keep repeating stuff like this, people end up posting all about it and stuff.

So the Taco Bell.

Imagine a picture of a dog smoking.

The dog from Taco Bell smoking. The dog from Taco Bell smoking, and it says Smokes Dog.

There you go, everyone. That's a guy's t-shirt coming soon.
Smokes Dog.

Imagine we were that fucking,

you know, we we were just like, well, there's a thing we said one time.

There's a shirt. And we're just fucking churning this shit out.
This bullshit merch. Devin went to the Taco Bell Cantina on the Ohio State University campus, which is right down the street from me.

Taco Bell Cantina, for those that don't know, is a Taco Bell that serves booze.

So does it have higher quality? Because to me, I would think it would be like a higher quality. No, the food is the exact same thing.
Food, but booze.

So is it like a nicer establishment, a sit-down kind of establishment or no same same exact taco bell looks like a taco bell with a clock people are drunk in it yeah with a clarbeau sign and i guess people are drunk in regular taco bell as well and i was just gonna say you can drink in it but i guess people are drinking in regular taco bell as well this is just an official way i would say that i don't think

that these taco bell cantinas lived up to the imagination of the person who thought of the idea because you never see people there just hanging out and drinking, which I believe is what they thought.

Like, well, you know, people will come in here, they'll get their food, they'll have a couple beers, they'll hang out, make money like a bar. I think it's a novelty.

You go in there, you order your food, maybe get one beer, drink a beer, and then leave. I don't think they ever sort of.

I realize why it doesn't work. Why?

Because at like a restaurant or a bar or something like that, you want people to be kind of eating their food, hanging around, having a little bit more, some nachos maybe, like having a drink.

But when you're at Taco Bell, you eat the food, and like 45 minutes later, you get all rumbly in your tummy. And you start feeling a little bit, you know, and then you want to leave, probably.

So it's obviously a hotly debated subject, Chris. Whether or not it makes you your stomach.
They said it's the rest of your diet that does that. No.
It's not the Taco Bell.

They said,

basically, what they're saying is: if Taco Bell does that to your stomach, the rest of your diet is a contributing factor to Taco Bell doing that to your stomach and not Taco Bell causing the actual problem.

That's Taco Bell apologia.

I've eaten Taco Bell for two meals a day off of the volcano menu for six months now.

But there was that one day where I had that smoothie, you know?

And I think that's kind of like you upset an ecosystem or whatever.

I do.

i i mean i guess you want to justify it i think a lot most people though right i mean you're talking about some post that you saw brian but i think most people several posts most people though sort of understand taco bell is bad it still has that kind of reputation of being like hey this is nasty food that you eat when you're drunk and it makes you feel sick but whatever it tastes really good and it's cheap i still think it has that reputation they're turning that around i firmly believe they're actually kind of turning that around because you do see a lot of people saying like oh taco bell's is good for like vegans and vegetarians.

Oh, you know, and all the stuff. The bean and cheese burrito or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, cheese for veganism.

But for vegetarian, they're like, you can make almost anything vegetarian there. And that's like.

Mexican food is really good for vegetarian because so much of it is like bean and cheese-based and it's very, very good. So I agree, but I, yeah, I don't know.

I just, yeah, I just, I guess maybe there are some Taco Bell vegans. I don't know, though.
It just, it seems to me like it. My wife is a Taco Bell vegetarian.
A Taco Bell vegetarian, it does not.

That just seems like an odd thing to be. I don't know.
So this person went to the Taco Bell Cantina on Ohio State campus and gave it one star.

And said, literally, the worst Taco Bell. Took an hour to get our food.
Literally a dude throwing up in the restaurant. Missing half of our food.
And I spent $40 on tacos. Insane.

That's why drinking doesn't work in a taco bell.

Because you associate alcohol, I feel like at least in the beginning, with like fun time, like you're at a bar, you're hanging with your friends, you're having a good, nobody wants to linger at a taco.

No. And like

arguing. Nobody wants, again, the line literally a dude throwing up in the restaurant.
Right. Like that hand.
You don't want that going on in your restaurant.

Not even the most hardcore alcoholic is going to be like, one more, one more nut techies before I go. Yeah.

This guy goes, I've been to many, many Taco Bells throughout my life, 20 plus years.

And

to this one after renovation, five times. The first two times were great.
Great customer service, great Taco Bell quality and quantity, food, and great atmosphere.

These past three times, though, have been a whole different story. Like I said, I have been to many different stores.
This is Bragg. is a Taco Bell expert.

Yeah, I've been to the Taco Bells in Monte Carlo. I've been to the Taco Bells in Paris.
I've been to the Taco Bells in Vienna. Yeah,

this guy is saying that he loves smoking a cigarette.

This guy...

He, yeah, it really feels saying that

he had a great atmosphere the first couple of times.

Like, that's so cool to me that he's just like, he's in a taco bell, like, eating his shit, like, looking around, being like, now, this is the fucking vibe, right?

You know,

that's fast, sweet to me.

Yeah, I wonder what happened. I wonder what happened to.

This one has been giving by far the smallest and least filled tacos and burritos. I've attached a couple pictures as an example.
I don't have the pictures, Chris, so don't ask.

I get that these $1 burritos. I requested extra cheese even in one.

But for this location to give the smallest amount of every store, especially after setting the bar with normal portions the first couple times, it's crazy.

If I pay $6

for $4, $1.50 burritos, I expect my money's worth. And that's not giving me that.
Absolutely will not be back.

So

they set the bar too high on his first two visits. And it seems like they knew that they were going to do that.
Because they're like, hey, this guy, we noticed we got a new guy coming in here.

Let's give him a lot. Let's give him a big portion.
Oh, yeah. Like, oh, we got, hey, fresh meat alert ringing the bell.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. They do that at swingers' bars sometimes.

Yeah, just a little bit of fresh meat. And then they like, yeah, they get them all fattened up.
And then he's hooked on it. And it works on a lot of them because they get hooked.
But this guy,

it didn't work on him. He's done now.
I believe also that he's like telling his friends, this fucking Taco Bel Cantina is the best one in town.

It really is. He's embarrassed himself now.
He's embarrassed himself. Oh, my God.
And his circles and stuff. Like,

yeah, he's going there and he's just like, okay, so what do I tell him now? Do I tell him, like, should I message them? Should I tell them that it's like, that I gave him bad intel?

Or do I just walk away from this? Do I have a bad thing? My reputation is extinct. Yeah, my reputation is in serious trouble here.
Like, he's, oh, that would be horrifying. Yeah.

I'm the guy that's been to all the Taco Bells. And everybody knows I'm the guy that's been to several Taco Bells over the year, and I told him this is the best one.

I'm always, of course, I'm always wearing a different Taco Bell city t-shirt, like Hard Rock Cafe.

He's got one from like 1992 that says pride and joy.

Taco Bell Cantina on the Las Vegas Strip. Oh,

okay.

This one goes crazy. This guy goes one star.
I love this location. First of all, one star starts out.
I love this location. It's great.
It's fast. And it's Taco Bell.
I've been coming here for years.

But lately, the employees scream in the PA when calling your name. I don't mean it's a bit loud.
I mean you'll get hearing loss unless you're wearing noise-canceling headphones.

This guy had to buy earplugs to go get his Taco Bell order.

He says, put on noise-canceling earphones, and then it sounds like a normal volume. It sounds like one.
He's going to Taco Bell like he's going to a Slayer concert.

yeah he he he's like um yeah maybe maybe it's like maybe you're too close to the amps man maybe get a spot like deep like back in the pit somewhere

i i i feel like they have to it's probably so loud in there right yeah like the people are probably so like drunk and unruly that they're just like when they don't yell like that nobody comes and gets their order so they're having to kind of do it he goes every fast food place is like that like there's always like a fight in the back going on.

Some customer's mad. Something else like the drive-thrus.
Like, that's just the normal hustle and bustle.

It's a chaotic place to be. And if you're at a high-volume one,

forget about it. Because they fucked up.
I'll tell you this. They fucked up.
They opened one in Minnesota that has four drive-thrus.

And when they opened it, they said, this is the fastest drive-through in the world.

And it's just like, don't do that because the people that are coming here are going to expect it to be very fast. And if it's one minute, they'll go to one.

If it's the same as that, this is the same as the other one I go to. They should just not do that.
Not say that.

But he goes,

he goes, I don't know why they feel the need to do that, but it absolutely kills the vibe. And it's painful.
Please fix this. This guy is

painful. It hurts his ears.
It hurts my little ears.

This is five stars. Please don't do baby voice.
It hurts my widow Eos.

I hate your baby boy. My EOS hot.

Daddy, my EO is hot. Stop.

Stop.

Mommy,

let me see them titties.

What the fuck?

I don't know why it said that. Oh, my God, man.
Because I'm hungry. You will say anything.
Because I'm hungry. You don't say anything for a laugh.
What are you, Tony Hingecliffe?

Yes, I am Tony Hingecliffe. This person gave it five stars.

Five stars, eh? All right. I wish they had the same menu in Canada as they do in the U.S.

I hate that they still have nacho Belgrandes in the U.S. and they have nacho fries and breakfasts, which we don't have.
I don't understand why.

I don't understand why we in Canada are being cheated with a sub-par watered-down menu. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
This one's in Vancouver? This one, no, is in Las Vegas. Oh.

Oh, but this person's from Canada. I got you.
They're from Canada, and they're really mad about the menu.

This just showed them how bad you're talking about it. I see.
Sometimes that does happen, right? You go to America and you're like,

oh, fuck, they got all of these different, you know, they got like 900 different varieties of this shit. Like, you know, you can get like, wow, oh, holy shit, man.

Your shit's like so much bigger here. Like, you got, yeah, they definitely, it's all food related.

Anything I've ever been impressed with

there has always been food related where I'm like, holy shit, there's like a lot of different kinds of food. Yeah,

think of all the pop we have here. It's crazy.
I go to Canada. I'm like, what is this? It's like half an aisle.
No, you got three aisles up here.

You guys have an insane amount of pop, an insane amount of candy, an insane amount of chips. You guys really got it all in that way.
And

I do love America, by the way. I do want to clarify.
I'm a big fan of America. I miss America.
Howard Stern. Miss America.
Howard Stern.

I don't understand why we in Canada are being cheated with the subpar watered down menu. What's up with that?

I enjoyed the wild cherry and blue raspberry freezy drinks, the street tacos, which again, we don't have in Canada, sadly.

Hopefully, one day we can have the same menu and I can enjoy my nacho fries in the Bel Grande, which they got rid of years ago and downsized it to a quarter of the size.

And

yeah, so that person was not happy. Here's a one-star for the Vegas one:

great food, extremely predatory prices, hidden fees for unmarked selections, i.e., quote, premium tequila, adds an unseen charge of $10.

That creates a discrepancy with what the screen always displays. I wouldn't mind paying $10 more if it was labeled.

The cheaper option is available, but there's no difference between the price selections. Receipt was not sent to my phone, and of course no printable receipts are available.

Again, an extremely unfortunate experience that should be addressed to avoid customer concern.

In short, the kiosks don't tell you about hidden charges, and the receipts are never sent to your provided number. Extremely predatory and not receiving my receipt almost feels like a scam.

I've never heard a guy so obsessed with his receipt. In short,

I have been scammed once again by the Taco Bell Cantina, and it's the last time.

Listen,

it does feel like that's bullshit.

What he's saying is true, which I, again, you got to be,

you got to take it with a grain of salt. Some of these guys are, they're drawn, they're not telling you the whole story or they're like telling you a different version of events.

But yeah, if he it didn't tell him that it was $10 more and the price said one thing and then he got charged a different amount, that seems unfair. It's premium tequila, though.

Yeah, it should tell you that. I agree with him, but it probably did.
He just didn't see it. That's my thought.
Yeah. Fully told.
He goes, it might potentially need to be

looked into as a receipt provides me with the details of my order to address concerns with Taco Bell Corporate. Okay, so he's explaining now the importance of a receipt.
He's going to.

So the reason why you need a receipt at the end of a purchase is it gives you verification of that purchase that you can then provide somewhere at a future date.

I'm going to drive to Taco Bell headquarters. We have a meeting about my purchase.
And if I show up without a receipt, they're going to think I'm lying.

Yeah, if I show up without my receipt, they're going to think I'm some crazy guy.

As opposed to just a completely normal guy with a receipt who would drive to Taco Bell headquarters to dispute this. Let's go to Austin, Texas, Taco Bell, on Ortloff, Altorf Street.

Is that where you are, Brian? I am. Altorf.
Wait a second. You are in Austin, Texas? I am, yeah.
Brian, why did you not, you knew not to tell me this, Brian Quinnby, because I am obsessed with Austin.

And when was the last time you went to watch a show at the mothership?

I have never, I've never been to the mothership.

Every person I talk to who lives there or has been there,

I'm always like, when you've gone to the mothership, nobody's gone to any of the shows. And yeah, sometimes you'll see Joe Rogan will just stop in and do a spot.

William Montgomery sometimes is sometimes William Montgomery will scream at some lady in the audience for 40 to 50 minutes, if that's your thing.

I have done many stand-up sets with sort of the 25-year-olds from Iowa who have moved here to live out of their car to hopefully work the door at the mothership. Like, I got a lot of those people.

Yeah. And like a ton of young, like camera-ready white people who moved here with like a trans joke and a dream.

So I got a lot of those people, but yeah, I've never been, because it's like we've been colonized by this bullshit. Yeah, no, I understand.

If you're, you're like an original Austin comic, like a real Austin comic, and your whole scene has been ruined. Yeah, since like 2008.

And it's always been kind of like, oh, it's like the brainy scene. Like, we don't really do race jokes.

You know, we try to keep it like edgy. And now we have.
A bowling ball.

A simple little bowling ball man showed up into town and changed things drastically. He said, guess what? I came in and I knocked down all the pins.
And now we do it my way.

100%.

Have you considered? Now this is. Have you considered dropping your name in the bucket?

The bucket of destiny or whatever.

On Kill Tony. Listen, Brian, I'm not even joking.
After this,

I could talk to you about this forever and ever, so I won't do it on this podcast. But the idea of an actual, I forgot that you're a real Austin stand-up.

I would love to actually talk to you about it. Totally.
Yeah. It's like, okay, Brian, sorry.
I apologize. I got really.
Chris wants to go into the bucket more than anything. I want to go on Kill Tony.

I want to go on Kill Tony and drop my name in the bucket and get up there. You know, I want to get up there before William Montgomery and I want to get up there.

Well, Cam Patterson, he's on SNL now.

I just don't want to get, I just refuse to, yeah, because I've been doing, it's not like I'm some great comic. It's not like I'm some, but like, I've been doing it for a long time.

And like, I just don't want to go up there and to have to get roasted by guys who are shittier at this than I am. Like, I just refuse.
Like, I refuse to do it.

If I get called at Kill Tony and I do my set, and if they say anything to me, Tony or any of them, I don't give a fuck who is on the panel. I will jump the table and beat the shit out of them.

I will beat the living shit out of Tony Inchko if he says one fucking word.

Bodyguards, I found out. Not on stage.
Of course, he does. Not on stage.
He does a picture of him walking across the street in Austin with two bodyguards. Yeah, I know.
That's really funny.

He was walking the street in Austin and didn't have any problem when I was there. There's

like, there's a few of those like bad boy or rough who have like fucking, yeah, bodyguards at like their setup.

In Tony's defense, i he's extremely small and weak like little man you know he's like very tiny like he's you know a little kind of guy here's so a three-star review of the austin one first time ever at a taco bell i had the chance to taste so many options of taco all of them were actually pretty good this is the saddest review for a person this guy's going and doing a bit of a tasting his friends took him to a taco bell tasting in austin tech there's the mexican food in austin is so fucking good.

There's so many options. You could go to any street corner downtown or any, like, and look for a truck with some plastic chairs outside, get you a tie.
That will be way for five bucks.

And that'll be way better than anything. So anybody, we talked about that right at the beginning of the episode.
So yeah, anybody who is doing going to this Taco Bell is a real buffoon. Well, yes.

And he goes, I didn't remember the actual names of any of the items, but my favorite one was the one with the soft flour taco with black beans on the inside. That's a soft taco.
Service was just okay.

Nothing good or bad to say about that. The place, though, was a little sloppy.
I have to say, I didn't feel very safe inside, even if there's basically nobody but us. That's a weird feeling.

Anyways, it was very cheap, so I think it's an okay place for a quick lunch or a junk break. We had like 10 tacos for about $40.
Now,

the line I didn't feel safe in there, even though there was nobody else in there, was very appealing to me. It's so haunting.
It just has like this really haunting vibe in there.

You just felt like I know it, like we were alone, but it like didn't feel like we were alone in this weird way. It's just like all the ghosts of the people that that Taco Bell has killed,

all sitting there.

This one's really good. This is a four-star review, which I don't know why they gave four-star because they are not happy.
And it's a psycho review. I believe this is is a crazy person.
Okay.

In October, I came in, tied my leashed dog under the table, and bought him a bean burrito. I slid it to him in a plastic tray, assuming trays are washed after use.

Two employees started yelling like it was an emergency. Your dog is eating off of our trays and threatened to call the police instead of de-escalating.
They tried to force me out mid-meal.

I called their bluff. Finish eating off the body.

Whoa.

People trying to force you out of their business is not a bluff.

That's not what calling a bluff will have you arrested. That's not what calling a bluff means, actually.

A bluff would be if they asked you to leave, and then, you know, but maybe that's what they meant. They didn't try for it.
Maybe they tried forcing you out by saying, you got to get out.

And I called their bluff. I called them.
Since then, I've filed multiple complaints.

Multiple.

Everyone has been routed to corporate rep Laura, who opens by defending the staff. Quote, I know all these people and they're good.

Instead of addressing the harassment, Laura's role has been to shield repeat offenders from accountability, ensuring the same hostile behavior continues.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, Laura talks about you to her family, I bet.

Laura probably brings you up in many conversations. You've become a big part of her life, probably, I would have met.
This person who just will not let go of this.

So I wonder how it actually went, right?

Like, like they're probably the dog wasn't allowed in there probably i mean you could bring a dog in as like a emotional supp that like we do have that up here yeah and that like people are generally i don't know generally more open with letting dogs in places than they've ever been there's something more to this story there's he was doing something else to get kicked out there's something more i i totally agree because yeah i i think brian the same thing that nowadays people are all have, I notice dogs in businesses all the time, like regularly, and nobody bothers, nobody has a problem with it.

Even like I could bring Milo's a big dog and I could bring him into like a business and pick up my food and stuff, and they don't even mind it.

He's like, I love dogs, people, people are always happy everywhere to see a dog. It's like

something else happened here where there was like a disturbance being caused.

If they're trying to force you out mid-meal, they're doing it because something is happening that they feel is like imminently a threat or a like going to cause a problem. So something was happening.

Oh, the dog was like lunging at a top. Yeah, the dog was like being aggressive or something maybe or just like kind of out of control or who knows.
Also, as a guy, a non-pet guy,

like anytime I go somewhere and a dog starts barking at me, I'm like, fucking dogs. And then

also,

I don't think it's...

Listen, don't lick the fucking... Don't have your dog lick the trays no I agree

bring your own dish bring your own dish for your dog if you do want to feed

that would have solved that to bring your own dish bring it you know bring him a little extra sour cream perhaps as well if he likes that on his burrito I if the dog's barking that's enough to like a dog

dog barking inside is extremely loud and disruptive yeah this

I love the I still love the I called their bluff because like in reality it's like, sir, you need to leave now. You need to, and he's acting like they're pretending they have a full house.

Is this a man? Is this a man?

Is there any? Oh, true, yeah. Is it, is it? Brian, I'm actually asking.
I'm not like. There's more.
Brian, is there any indication of the, of if it's a man or a woman or no?

I don't know.

Their name is Lotus Street Poet. Lotus Street Poet.
I'm trying to like just picture the person for my own purposes, but yeah, I guess it doesn't matter. But yeah, you can jack off to it later.

From the spank bank.

I'm just trying to picture this person from this Chaco Bell complaint for my spank bank.

He goes, this location has a long history of root service, constant turnover, and management circle in the wagons and stuff. Constant turnover.
It's a fast food place. They all have constant turnover.

It's part of the business, the industry. Two weeks, you're a manager.

Yeah, it's like a lot of the people who work there are students, and often they grow up and they, you know, like there's just a lot of reason for them to get a lot of turnover.

Yeah, it's their pay enough where it's like the instant a non-minimum wage job comes along, they take it. Yeah, they can get it.

Yeah, there's it's it's it's a turnover industry, so using that as like a black mark against them is not really fair. I want to, he goes, the management circling the wagons instead of fixing problems.

Customers deserve better than corporate damage control. So that is

that one. And finally, let's just go.
Circling the wagons in that instance, by the way, meant not like saying, I'm so sorry. I'll give you like a free, like, you know, whatever.

Just your free coupons. Yeah, that's what it is.

Okay, this is from Vancouver, British Columbia, Granville Street. Grandville Street.
164 Granville Street. So this is right downtown.
I've been there. This is the heart of downtown.

I don't know Belle but Granville. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is like the entertainment district right in the heart of downtown. So it's like where all the nightclubs are and stuff on a Saturday night.

This guy asks a cool question. You want a burrito or do you want hair? Your choice.
Burrito.

I don't know. I would love to have hair.
Oh, like. It's been so long since I...

I was thinking to eat, though. I am.
He goes, was excited to see Taco Bell in downtown, but never again. Dirty, filthy hair with your food.
Take your pick. Seems like no one cares.

How is this place not shut down already?

And finally, a five-star review. Maybe this is one of my favorite reviews ever.

On July 21st, 2025, at approximately 3 p.m., the employee, Gautam,

that's the name, wearing blue earrings, served with grace and honor to the Taco Bell Corporation Canada.

Although we were quite disheveled as we walked into the store, he served us with a warm welcome and a huge bright smile, which made our first experience at this establishment very delightful.

He helped with ordering and gave me recommendations on what to get and served me the most fire food I ever had. The Baja Blast really did make me go, ha ha ha.

The blast out of and blast out of this world. The taste was exquisite and really brought.

Well, the taste was exquisite and really brought out the flavors of Mexico. I would.

Is this person doing a bit? I don't know. I truly

don't know.

They might be doing a bit but i i what i feel like has happened is they went in and part of the story is genuine that this guy who worked there was very helpful and like really nice and did a great job and they wanted to write this review to be nice to him and then they went a bit over the top with it for comedic effect or whatever i don't think they did it for comedic effect maybe not for comedy

it doesn't feel

Like I looked at their taste of Mexico, the taste of Mexico. Talking about Taco Melissa brings up the taste of Mexico does read a little comedic to me.

It seems like he had AI write it and then punched it up a little bit.

Well, this is a person. I looked at their other reviews.
They only have 10 other reviews, and all of them seem pretty serious. Like, they were just like regular reviews.

What other places did they review? I don't love hearing Vancouver businesses. I can't.
I love hearing Vancouver businesses. I know you do.
I know you do. And he goes,

I would totally come back every Gualtom shift.

10 out of 10, recommend, please take take into consideration on promoting Galton to manager, as he makes all customers have the greatest Taco Bell experience of their lives.

It's a friend of his. I just thought of another option, not even a friend of his.

Galtom read some fucking book about like getting ahead in the corporate world and like, you know, making big strides forward. And then he thought of like, this is very simple.

But I think he might have overcooked it a little bit with the taste of Mexico.

You mean opening, the opening opening sentence being on July 21st, 2025, at approximately 3 p.m., the employee, Gal Tom wearing blue earrings, served with grace and honor at the Taco Bell Corporation, Canada.

Served with grace and honor. He starts it off like he's riding Lawrence of Arabia.
Yeah, like it's like a military. Yeah, like this person served with grace and honor.

Yeah, this is...

That's my favorite review ever for some reason. Other than there's one review that's better that everybody will always love.
The tattoo shop bullied a guy. That's the one I thought of immediately too.

The guy who went into the tattoo shop and got bullied by all the tattoo guys.

God, I love that review. All right.
Well, that is Taco Bell, guys. Brian, do you have anything you would like to plug? Not really.
Follow me on Blue Sky. Nice.

Blue Sky. I made it over there, Blue Sky.
I'm still over on Twitter, still chopping it up over there. I'm, you know, I don't really, I don't honestly, he does get a hold of guests for us over there.

Sometimes that's why I keep my Twitter out there.

Messages on Twitter. But yeah, I will say this.
I mean, Brian,

look for Brian, possibly. I'm going to say this on my podcast that I do on my Patreon.
Oh, yeah, I do it every once in a while.

Brian does it almost every episode, the Writer's Room with me, DB, Jesse Farrar, and Stefan. We try to do some comedy, and I basically, I struggle to keep the, it's genuine.

I just start the mics and then I try to get to something and then they just I told Katie,

I know we got to go. I told Katie about when you opened the show last week and you were like, well, it's been a while.
And I immediately said stained.

Yeah, he just said stained and just cut me out like right. So that's kind of the vibe of that.
But I do have guests on to talk. You know, I have like relationships.

I have like real guests on and stuff. And I would love to have you on to talk about the Austin comedy scene.
So look for Brian on that.

That's I would love to burn any possible bridges I have left in this town.

Well, I promise you, I promise you, it's a Patreon podcast for one. And also, I promise you, we're going to be talking very specifically.
You know, we'll just talk about the influx of the new people.

And yeah, people, I mean, mainly just some of my top favorite comics, i.e.,

you know, William Montgomery. Tony Hinchcliffe.
Who's the guy Thanking?

You know what I'm talking about? Got me thanking.

Got me thinking? It's the Elephant Graveyard has covered him a bunch of times, and he likes stinks. Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it got me thinking. Who's

I can't remember?

Are you doing accent of the week?

Well, I mean, I guess you would say

David Lucas. Oh, David Lucas.
He's the guy who famously has some jokes that a lot of people on Twitter have stolen from him retroactively. They posted them up on Twitter somehow before he did them.

And also, if you want to see a really good interview, go watch him when he's interviewed by that,

what's that kid's name? Oh, fucking Matan. Matan.
Matan interviewing him when David Lucas' manager genuinely believed that they were getting $10,000 to come on the show.

And it's like all starts unraveling live on the show as his manager is like off-camera talking about it, seemingly actually thinking they were getting $10,000.

Yeah, David Lucas, one of my favorites. So cerebral, the cerebral comic.
Oh,

yeah.

He makes you think. Hey, have I heard that on Twitter?

All right. We'll see you all next week.
Goodbye. Bye.