Guys: Episode 146 - Royal Family Guys with Eli Yudin

Speaker 1 Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys.

Speaker 1 I should call it a poshcast about guys, right? Right?

Speaker 1 I guess. Poshcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Chris, now, first, I'm going to start out this show real quick.

Speaker 1 Chris is here, and we're going to, you know, me and the guests are going to try not to insult his queen or king because he is part of the Commonwealth. So we're sorry, buddy.

Speaker 1 I hate to do this to you, you know. And if you start to feel bad, you can let us know.

Speaker 1 Well, I imagine that we're going to be just fair and balanced on it and just understand that this is

Speaker 1 a family that is pretty important to a lot of people around the world. Actually, weirdly,

Speaker 1 a lot of royal, I mean, not weirdly, I guess, like a lot of royal watchers and like huge royal freaks are in canton.

Speaker 1 Like, I, you know, I know people who are obsessed with the royal, so there are some people who legitimately take that to heart. They're like, we're part of the Commonwealth.

Speaker 1 This is our queen and/or king. King now, but for most of my life, it was the queen.
She was on all our, she's on our money and everything, of course.

Speaker 1 Well, and our guest here is from What a Time to Be Alive, Eli Uton. Hi, Eli.
Hello. Hello.
I was just thinking, that's good.

Speaker 1 That's like, I think being on the money is like a good level of, you want a cool-looking old monarch on your money, but you don't want them in charge. But they got the right vibe.

Speaker 1 She wasn't, yeah, she wasn't in charge of anything. I don't think.

Speaker 1 Well, no, but

Speaker 1 in

Speaker 1 Canada she had any sort of influence other than she'd show up every now and then and go on a tour or whatever. But yeah, it did seem,

Speaker 1 it didn't seem wrong to have her on the money. It seemed it seemed dignified.
I mean, it was stupid.

Speaker 1 It's so

Speaker 1 and Chris knows why we're doing this. I think

Speaker 1 the reason we're going to do this is because we have a guy on our bonus shows on patreon.com/slash guys podcast. First time that's ever happened.
Oh, you plug.

Speaker 1 You plug a Patreon on the main episode. Wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. Cool.
The amount of regular listeners who are like, they have a Patreon? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're doing a bonus episode.

Speaker 1 We've been doing it for a few years now. So we read this guy, this Mike Zero.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Mike Zero,

Speaker 1 are you like a big entertainment news guy? Do you know Mike Zero? I don't know Mike Zero. I just like the name because it sounds like somebody from the movie Hackers from like whatever they're doing.

Speaker 1 It seems, or or it almost seems like sort of a name that like an alien would give himself if he were pretending to be a person or something definitely yeah or it's been a cute

Speaker 1 prime vibes he's the original clone mike prime yeah yep he's a guy that does entertainment news but in the clickbaitiest way possible one it's the most clickbait you've ever seen like just the craziest

Speaker 1 the craziest things where he's just like he's obsessed with charlie kirk now but before Charlie Kirk, still, just completely every video is about Charlie Kirk.

Speaker 1 But before the Charlie Kirk thing, he talked about Megan Markle all the time. Yeah, Megan Markle was driving huge traffic on his channel.

Speaker 1 He had all of the people, a lot of the people I guess we're going to be covering this week

Speaker 1 who are going to his channel because he was just covering her so much. And he is willing to do something that other journalists or other entertainment news people aren't always willing to do.

Speaker 1 And he'll just, whereas he'll make something up. He'll just watch.

Speaker 1 defamation.

Speaker 1 He will, but see, you know why he gets away with it? Because nobody can, once the video starts, you can't make heads or tails of what he's talking about.

Speaker 1 You can't understand what he's what he's saying.

Speaker 1 So, I think it's, I think he's probably had cases against him, but they all sort of fall apart in court because the judge doesn't understand what he's talking about.

Speaker 1 We look at how long he's been running, and it was he was talking. I think he started around the Star Wars sequel time, The Force Awakens, and stuff like that.
And he starved the passage of time.

Speaker 1 That's his wow. That's his claim to fame, though.
That's how he became famous. People know him.
He actually was like, what's his name? What's the director who did that? He does like the knives.

Speaker 1 Brian Johnson.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he like mentioned him one time because he would do that. You know, he would just make these crazy, like, this is what's happening behind the scenes.

Speaker 1 And it would just be like, he'd be like, he'd be like, oh, it's a rumor, you know, but he would present it as a thing that's happening.

Speaker 1 And it would just be so far-fetched, but it would always be something that would feed into some sort of like conspiracy theories or something that these super freak fans would have.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? So, like, it would always be like something that they were looking for, and they'd be like, oh, yeah, there's something to reinforce the crazy ideas I already have.

Speaker 1 And the reason I bring that up is because when we first started looking at him and playing his videos, we thought maybe he was an AI like

Speaker 1 guy.

Speaker 1 Like, an actual, just, he's not even real. Because when he talks, you have no idea what he's talking about.
You, it's the video

Speaker 1 nonsense. Yes, he's like,

Speaker 1 holds up his hand, and he's like, the seven worst things about the new Star Wars are just counting down on all this horrible. But he likes, that's too clear.

Speaker 1 That's way too clear for what he's because he's trying to get to nine minutes and five seconds because then he's a joke about that. Eli is making a joke about it.
I know. I know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Sorry.
No, it's good. You're filled with righteous indignation at AI.

Speaker 1 I love Zero. So anyway, we started reading comments on the Megan Markle things.
And I was like, okay, now I'm like extremely curious about this stuff because

Speaker 1 I got to tell you, I learned that a lot of people, and they're not fond of her.

Speaker 1 I don't understand. Megan Markle, by the coverage, you'd think she fucking killed the royal family.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 you treat her like Oliver Cromwell, like she's going to be like, they're going to bury her, dig her up, and put her head on a pike.

Speaker 1 Is she just

Speaker 1 not a great part of the royal family? She just doesn't believe the royal family. Well, I think that she, the whole idea, now, I don't know, probably

Speaker 1 we're going to learn more about this, but from what I gather, she like Harry kind of left the royal family, right? He's kind of like, I don't want to be anything to do with this.

Speaker 1 And I think that she's kind of blamed for that. Like, you know, she pulled him away from that.

Speaker 1 And a lot of it, like, believe it or not, some of these older British people, I believe, some of it might be racism. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I'll say this. I'll say this.

Speaker 1 Did we not defeat that?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 and I don't want to, I don't know for sure, but I just feel that way.

Speaker 1 As somebody, I'm not, I'm not, I watch Manchester United matches, and sometimes, you know what I mean, I'll just, I don't know, I'll catch a whiff of some of the ways that these guys are feeling and talking.

Speaker 1 And it just seems to me like some of these older British people might be dealing with racism. I saw them.

Speaker 1 So I'll tell you about. So there's a site called Mumsnet, which is where moms go to talk about stuff in Britain.

Speaker 1 And they talk about the royal family a lot.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the first thing when you go, because, okay, if you go to Reddit and you go to the Royal Family Gossip and you search by most controversial,

Speaker 1 it's all Meghan Markle. Like it is, you just scroll down.
It's just all Meghan Markle. She's a firebrand.
You go to Mumsnet, where I went and searched at the Royal Family thing.

Speaker 1 And the first thing, because trick-or-treat night just happened recently, was a picture of Harry and Megan Markle taking their children trick-or-treating in California. Somebody just took a picture.

Speaker 1 You can't even see the kid's face. You can't see anything.
But what you can see is

Speaker 1 Megan is holding a Stanley-like thing, and so is Harry. Harry and her love.
I can only imagine what's in that

Speaker 1 well that's exactly what it was it was like oh there's wine in there yeah you can't even leave without drinking wine you know what i mean like they're like they worked themselves up to this thing and then as you went down the thread this is a long thread as i went down the thread there were people saying like i hope they have security for for Harry because I think she's going to kill him.

Speaker 1 I think she's going to kill him. For real.
Such a high level of old-timey racism. Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Well, it's also such an old level of, remember, because

Speaker 1 we were all around for the 2000s celebrity gossip scene that was brutal.

Speaker 1 But in America, it feels like a lot of that has softened more

Speaker 1 than

Speaker 1 how much love there is for celebrity gossip at the moment. And also how mean it is.
Like, it's less mean. It's less about somebody's looks or any of that stuff.

Speaker 1 Like, they don't, they, it's like, like, Perez Hilton is woke now. All that crap.
You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But, like, over there, when you're talking about the royal family, I mean, that shit, for Megan,

Speaker 1 people are more angry at Megan Markle than Prince Andrew, who is a certified pedophile.

Speaker 1 Well, he just got, and he just got

Speaker 1 stripped of all of his titles and kicked out of the house, right? There may be some people that are mad about that. They're taking away his little titles, I feel like.

Speaker 1 They're like, the news keeps dropping, and it's like another title that's been stripped from him. And they're just like, he's no longer allowed to feed the ducks at the palace.

Speaker 1 They're slowly just in it. Like, it's just to humiliate him more, like every day, taking away a little bit more.

Speaker 1 Do you think that they'll ever really get, or are you saying, do you think they'll ever really take away all of his? Is he actually out? I think it's all gone. He's pretty far.

Speaker 1 They took away his like naval because they already took away his royal status and then they took away all his military thing. Was the thing I saw in the Navy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like thinking they're also like, Prince Andrew is no longer going to receive dessert. The servants have been instructed.
Yeah. He deserves no treats for what he's done.

Speaker 1 Is he kicked out of the house?

Speaker 1 Is he kicked out of the house? Is he I think he still lives in the house? He still lives in the house, but maybe like a bad part of it, maybe

Speaker 1 his name. I know that they're all freaking out because they're like, Do we have to call him Andrew Mountbatten now? Oh, hang on.
Yeah, what do we call him now? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm I'm like, just call him Prince Andrew. I mean, it doesn't change all that.
Nothing changes here. Like, they're so close to me.

Speaker 1 No, honestly, just don't call him late for dinner because honestly, he doesn't get dessert. So if he's late for dinner, he misses all of them.

Speaker 1 Well, this first thing I found was how can royal couples have private time for intimacy?

Speaker 1 Hi all, no offense, but just genuinely curious, how much privacy does the royal family have in their sex life?

Speaker 1 For example, when Prince Philip had sex with Queen Elizabeth, would there have been guards or staff standing outside their room?

Speaker 1 If so, they would have been able to hear the noise, which would have been embarrassing. But if not, there would have been a security risk.
Thank you for your answers.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, this is kind of this is interesting because if you ever put yourself in a position where they can't hear your sex noises, that means they also can't hear your cries for help.

Speaker 1 You need to hear the heavy breathing to ensure their heart is beating. That's the credo they go by.

Speaker 1 It just sounds like young Frankenstein in there. It's just like, oh,

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, this is like, this is a weird question, but it is an interesting conundrum for sure.

Speaker 1 Is that, I mean, I guess it's not really, I guess it's just there are guards that hear them having sex, probably.

Speaker 1 Well, and I think it's probably protocol that they have to make one sex noise every few seconds. Oh, yeah.
Like, honestly.

Speaker 1 When Prince Charles is humming while he eats pussy,

Speaker 1 like when he's humming a song, probably the vibrations are. Yeah, they're like, oh, that's that's like deft tones or whatever.
Not just doing like white pony.

Speaker 1 Wait, what did Arthur

Speaker 1 King and Queen throw on white pony and start banging?

Speaker 1 It's on adrenaline and it's called Root.

Speaker 1 What band is it that you...

Speaker 1 Oh, you did. You hummed deaf tones when you were eating pussy.
When I eat pussy. I don't do it every time, by the way.
Yeah, it's almost better if you did do it every time because if it's not regular,

Speaker 1 it's like more disconcerting. there's a part in a song that makes the woman go crazy.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That part, that makes women go nuts. I mean, that's kind of just also got a jaws vibe getting what's happening.

Speaker 1 I know. But I love it.
You can't do jaws because it's too scary.

Speaker 1 You don't want to scare them. I'm down there.
I put one of those like fins on my head. I'm just going to do it.

Speaker 1 Mike Myers.

Speaker 1 Here's something. An interesting fact is that Queen Elizabeth was very private about using her bathroom to do anything besides peeing.

Speaker 1 When she needed to use her bathroom, she would have her maid draw her a bath and leave her alone for privacy's sake as long as she needed.

Speaker 1 She's taking long poops. Hey, listen,

Speaker 1 I'm not here to judge somebody for taking a big long poop. Okay?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's another thing, though, because again, if people aren't able to hear her shit noises, she is caught in a compromised situation then.

Speaker 1 People have died on there before. You know, you gotta.

Speaker 1 I like to think that they also think it's funny that, like, the, I mean, it's obvious, but the people who are like posting on a forum that's about discussing these people's private lives and being like, do you think the royal family doesn't have a lot of privacy?

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, and wait for 25 responses from people that don't know them. Okay.

Speaker 1 Obviously.

Speaker 1 It's the best thing about Reddit. It's either, it's either liars,

Speaker 1 people who don't know what they're talking about, saying things with authority, or the other one, tattletales.

Speaker 1 If you go to your local subreddit and you just look, you'll find somebody saying, Have you considered calling the police? Yeah, dude,

Speaker 1 I've talked about it on another, but like, I don't go on there, but for my neighborhood, not to dox myself, but in Bushwick and in Brooklyn, like our Bushwick is crazy because people are on there and they're like, it's like a picture of

Speaker 1 either a Coke bag or like a syringe on the street or something. And then they're like, Does anyone like, should I call the police?

Speaker 1 Like, does anyone, there's another one someone's like, did anyone hear that helicopter? And it's like, you live in New York? Like, what do you want? Eli.

Speaker 1 Bushwick, you move to a, you move to an intersection that is in a most deaf song. Like, yeah.
You, this, like, you can't come in and be like, oh, like, you know, there's a history here.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you, there is, so there's an Outer Belt Highway around Columbus.

Speaker 1 And I live inside of it, and people race on it

Speaker 1 at night.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? They're just like, let's fucking go on the highway and race.

Speaker 1 It's probably the safest place to do it, to tell you the truth. I mean, I can't think of a safer place other than like maybe a motor speedway or something.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That would be the ideal place to do it is a racetrack, but that's fair.

Speaker 1 But they... They'll rev their engines and then you'll look on R slash Columbus and it'll be like, somebody's got to call the cops on these guys on T70.
It's like, like,

Speaker 1 like, I don't even know how it works at that point.

Speaker 1 But they go, it's said that every one of her closest staff members knew that she was using the toilet, but no one dared speak about it due to her extreme discomfort with the subject matter. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. How did it go in there? That's kind of relatable.
I mean, it's a sort of relatable thing, I think, for people, right? Where it's just like.

Speaker 1 Not me. I'll let my butler hear my craps.
I don't know. I mean, honestly, I think you're in a unique position where you really, really, it doesn't matter what you sort of do to try to hide and

Speaker 1 turn out a popcorn machine into bathroom so people can't hear what's going on. Courtesy popcorn machine.

Speaker 1 Movie theater size, the big ones. You're getting popcorn lung in there while you're taking shit.

Speaker 1 This guy goes, Two things I've seen and heard about Charles particularly has made me wonder about it too. One is the video of him perturbed about a pen on his desk being in his way.

Speaker 1 It was right after he became king. He made a big fuss fuss and had his aides move the pen.

Speaker 1 The other is the former aide who said, Then Prince Charles called him into the library or waiting room and told him a letter from the queen fell into his paper bin beside his desk and asked this man to dig it out instead of just bending over and getting it done himself.

Speaker 1 It makes one wonder how certain tasks get done.

Speaker 1 I think that's kind of like a pretty well-known thing about them, that they're that way. I remember that video about the pen.

Speaker 1 Do you remember that video? I mean, I do. I don't know.

Speaker 1 was

Speaker 1 it's really he really he does not come off well in it i'll say that but but it wasn't not this is there like not coming off well yeah it was not i wouldn't i wouldn't call it illuminating though you know it wasn't like holy shit this guy might be kind of a bad guy i was kind of like oh yeah you're like how does this guy eat pussy

Speaker 1 yeah like because that's what they're really saying right they're like they're like oh so he gets mad at a pen and doesn't want to bend over to pick something.

Speaker 1 How does he fuck his wife? You know?

Speaker 1 How does that happen? Look, this may be a hot take, you know, but I'm going to say, like, that's what I want them to be like.

Speaker 1 I don't, I'd prefer, I prefer that to them being like, no, no, no, I'm one of you.

Speaker 1 You know, like, whatever, writing these books called, like, salt of the crown or whatever the fuck. Like, oh, we got some of those coming up later.

Speaker 1 I want them to be, like, rolled around. Like, I I want them to be.
I'm imagining them, like, what's the lady who eats in Willy Wonka? She blows up like a blueberry.

Speaker 1 That's like how I like to imagine the royal family is literally just being like rolled around the palace and being handed and fed like little cakes and treats and stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that that's obviously the case. Like anyone who doesn't think that's the case, I think is like being kind of like delusional or like, you know, they're like lying to themselves.

Speaker 1 Like, or just being, I don't know. It's, it's, I think it seems pretty obvious that the royal family are like an entitled bunch.
And almost definitely a terrible hang.

Speaker 1 I wonder if these people have that thing if they're like, if I met dude, we would get along. Me and the queen.
Yeah. Fucking hit it off.
It's like, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Like, honestly, I'd be, I'd be fucking respectful to her. Like, I would do all of the things.
Like, they, a lot of people. I wouldn't treat her like,

Speaker 1 I mean, they know, they know all the things you're supposed to do. You know, what did you say, Brian? I wouldn't treat her like a celebrity.

Speaker 1 I would kind of be like, I would be like, hey, man, I don't see celebrity as kind of a huge deal. You know what I mean? It must be fucked up how people treat you so differently.

Speaker 1 Like, to me, you're just like, you're just like, obviously, you're a queen, but you're like, you came out of a pussy just like I did, right? You know, like,

Speaker 1 kind of like dapper up. Yeah.
This guy's saying that. And she's just vibrating and slamming the button under her tea table that's like guards as fast as she can.

Speaker 1 Feed them to the swans. He's looking at the line behind him like, these people are.
I mean, can you believe this, Carl?

Speaker 1 Yeah, can you believe these people?

Speaker 1 These people are like,

Speaker 1 these people are obsessed with you. Yeah, the queen meet and greet.
She did some of those, but mostly I think

Speaker 1 she would walk along and shake people's hands, right? Well, they would all be kind of in a row. That's how it usually works.

Speaker 1 I put the pen thing in there because the replies to that specific comment are good.

Speaker 1 It wasn't because the pen was in the way. It was a fancy fountain pen that was starting to leak and possibly stain all over.

Speaker 1 He wanted it taken away so he didn't get ink all over his hands or clothes or the table or whatever else.

Speaker 1 I didn't think that the defenders of the like Prince or King Charles Defenders even existed. Like I thought he was really hated even amongst the royal watchers and stuff.

Speaker 1 Well he goes King Charles has a bad back, which is well documented. Perhaps getting someone else to retrieve the letter was on one of his bad back days.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That letter would have snapped him in half. He would have been pinched and folded like a motorola eraser.
It's good that he didn't do that.

Speaker 1 Listen, man,

Speaker 1 my back bothers me sometimes. And, you know, sometimes it can be a real shit to bend over and grab something.
But I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 I feel like.

Speaker 1 I feel like

Speaker 1 you can always bend down and get a letter if you really need to. And if you need to learn a lesson from Chris's back, it's like, don't try to suck yourself off unless you have a huge penis like me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't worry. Don't beat up the wall.
Yeah, Brian.

Speaker 1 Brian, you don't even have to like, it does, it's no like strain on your back. What? It comes up to my titties.
Like, you, you just kind of loot and it comes up right into the mouth.

Speaker 1 How big is it again?

Speaker 1 18 inches. Oh, God, it's so

Speaker 1 grown an inch. It was 17 inches.
It keeps growing as you get older. You know what I mean? It's eight inches thick, too.
The idea that it keeps growing.

Speaker 1 Huge nose and dick all keep growing. So when you see an old guy, he just has his biggest dick.

Speaker 1 It's like how they say your fingernails keep growing after you die. Oh, your dick keeps growing after you die.

Speaker 1 No, but I just like the idea of your penis being at its fullest, largest, and best form right before you die. So it's like it can.

Speaker 1 One last drive.

Speaker 1 No, No, it actually keeps growing like your fingernails. It keeps growing even after you're dead.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 It's in the bottom half of a coffin. It looks like a woven basket in there.

Speaker 1 Looks like there's creepers and vines.

Speaker 1 Also, I think the pen thing was because there was an issue with it, or he didn't want to knock it off, or blocked the view of him signing the paperwork, or he just preferred a different one.

Speaker 1 You also have to remember that he was grieving the loss of his mother, and grief can cause even the tiniest of things to be blown out of proportion at the best of times.

Speaker 1 But he had the added pressure of being thrust into the position of king.

Speaker 1 Dude, can you imagine? What's his? I don't even know who they are. King Charles, is that the guy now? Yeah, yeah, he is the king.

Speaker 1 Yeah, can you imagine him getting hit with a think fast in like gym class? Like, like somebody chucking a ball,

Speaker 1 he would get absolutely demolished. His head would come off.
He'd be like destroyed. This one is funny because it has nothing to do with the thread, and I love it when guys do this.

Speaker 1 This is from the United States, but it's similar. Dan Quayle, as you remember, was vice president from 1989 to 93.
He had secret service agents.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He had secret service agents inside his official residence, of course, but his bedroom was something they'd only enter if necessary.

Speaker 1 They needed a system where he could send an alert if he could not speak, so on the nightstand there was a miniature replica of the Washington Monument.

Speaker 1 And if it was ever knocked over, it triggered an alarm and the agents would enter the bedroom. Now, Dan and his wife Marilyn were still relatively young and very much in love.

Speaker 1 They were expressing their love one evening, and in the throes of passion, she knocked over the model, leading to the Secret Service bursting into their bedroom.

Speaker 1 And what must have been a very awkward moment? They changed the alert system.

Speaker 1 This guy's a quailhead.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say, like, I mean, this is maybe, I mean, I'm from D.C., so maybe not everybody knows this is pretty quiet. This is like kind of a secret of D.C.,

Speaker 1 but the Washington Monument is really pointy. And so it it feels weird to have like a safety measure that is basically like a knife.

Speaker 1 And like also is just from any crime show I've seen, like a small statuette of the Washington Monument, that is 100% ending up with a bloodstain on it on the floor being like, this is what caused the Blunt Force trauma.

Speaker 1 That's just

Speaker 1 like, it's stupid to have a thing that if you knock it over,

Speaker 1 it sets off an alarm.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's true. I think this person on the internet who is posting this has completely made this story up because, yeah, that doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 What if the person just came in and fucking shot him in the head and

Speaker 1 you know, with a silencer or whatever, or came and grabbed him and like tied him up? There'd be no and didn't knock it over. He'd have to talk his way over to the nightstand.

Speaker 1 He just can't get fucking held up in any other part of the room or he's screwed. Like, he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 Please, please let me let me get my

Speaker 1 little thing of the Washington Monument. It's very important to me.
My father gave it to me.

Speaker 1 Sir, sir, I know you're trying to destabilize the world's most powerful country by assassinating Dan Quayle, but if you just give me a moment here,

Speaker 1 he's the famous dumb guy, right? He was famously dumb. Yeah, but it was for misspelling potato, if I remember right.
I spelled potato wrong.

Speaker 1 And that was, so that was the only reason.

Speaker 1 Because like when I was a young kid, I would have been, you know, uh nine ten years old or whatever when he was uh doing his thing and he was like to me he was the dumbest guy in the world well he spelled potatoes wrong yeah that was there's a lot of people being like well

Speaker 1 quayle was you just spelled potato wrong and yet yet these people do what they do like so there's a but it was i wish there was video back then because i think the situation was he went to like try to do a little hand you know uh a glad handing at like a elementary school And so it was that a kid came up to the blackboard and spelled potato.

Speaker 1 And I think the kid spelled it right. And he was like, Good try, little guy.
And then everyone was like, I wish we had video of this kid being like, what the fuck? I said, did he add an E?

Speaker 1 He added an E to it or something. Yeah, I think it was

Speaker 1 an E or something. He spelled it Hobbit style.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Not American.

Speaker 1 Let's take a look at some travel.

Speaker 1 Some, what is it called? I forget. One of the

Speaker 1 trip advisor reviews of Buckingham Palace, which is, if you don't know it, that's where the king lives. What? Okay.
Yeah. This guy goes.
That's where they all go wait outside, right?

Speaker 1 When they're having a jubilee. Okay.
And like a guy, and they do a thing every day with the guards. Like they come out and they do some changing of the guards, Sarah.
It's so stupid.

Speaker 1 I can't, it's so incredibly stupid what goes on there. Like, I understand, Chris, that you're offended by me making fun of your king, but it's just.

Speaker 1 So this guy goes, don't waste your time east wing guided tour we had high expectations for the east wing guided tour unfortunately it was dreadful boring long tedious not too crowded and no lines but 90 minutes of absurd detail about chinese porcelain various paintings and unknown history no one was interested everyone kept looking at their watches so they wanted like they wanted stuff like this is where like queen elizabeth had her tryst with you know that's what they were that's what they're looking for on this tour.

Speaker 1 They want like the details like a soap opera kind of. And the guy's like, this is Chinese porcelain that was given to, you know, the king.
They're like, I don't give a fuck about that.

Speaker 1 What do you think you're going to see except for like the fruits of colonialism and like some nice marble? Like that's going to be a lot of fun. Yeah, that's what it is.

Speaker 1 But again, I think that they want some more. They want some, you know, they want some.

Speaker 1 This is where the magic happens kind of stuff. And they also said tour guide had little personality.

Speaker 1 Of course, he's British. I'm kidding, British people.

Speaker 1 You know what they need to put in there, dude? Is just a full T-Rex skeleton. Because that'll space up.
Oh, yeah. Anything that's good at the Museum of Natural History,

Speaker 1 you could have nothing else in there. It'd just be a big room with a full-size T-Rex skeleton and like worth the price of admission.
That shit's sick. This guy goes, the cues were dreadful.

Speaker 1 And if I knew what, if I knew what I knew, I love that. Sometimes I call them cues, by the way.
That is, that's sometimes I went. I call it wrong by the way.
I mean, I live in British Columbia.

Speaker 1 Like, the province I live in is called British Columbia. So sometimes, you know, I do sort of fancy myself a

Speaker 1 bit of a geezer myself. You know, like every now and then, I'll start.

Speaker 1 The cues at Six Flags Adventure are dreadful today.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I will,

Speaker 1 I won't talk that way, but sometimes I'll feel myself thinking in that way.

Speaker 1 If that makes like my internal dialogue will be like, oh, I guess we've got to queue up a little bit, you know, queue up for a bit. You know, that'll have it inside my head.

Speaker 1 I should have purchased the speedy Gonzalez Fast Pass

Speaker 1 because I wouldn't have attended even if it was free. 75 pounds

Speaker 1 money, it's not free

Speaker 1 for two before you brought a brochure was high in. When you consider you only saw about 12 rooms and lots of paintings, I'm crossed with myself for venturing in.

Speaker 1 You went cross, I'm crossed with myself for venturing in. I'm sorry.
I've never got to see 12 rooms.

Speaker 1 It's like kind of a security risk to show you the blueprints to the Buckingham Palace. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like any kind of a tour that's like that.

Speaker 1 There's the area that's just a tourist tour area that they've, you know, that they've, that's, that's the only area you're going to go. You're not going to go to any of the interesting parts ever.

Speaker 1 I mean, that you're not going to go to one of their because you want, that's what you want to see. You go there, you want to see their bathroom.

Speaker 1 You want to see like what the fuck they got in their bathroom. You know, you go to the toilet.
What kind of toilet are they using? What kind of toilet? What kind of toilet paper are they using?

Speaker 1 Like, that's what I wanted. What kind of toilet paper are they using? What kind of soap are they using? What kind of like, you know, things are they using? What kind of medicines are they on?

Speaker 1 What are they eating? What's in their fridge? Stuff like that. Like, you want to like find, you're never going to find that.

Speaker 1 I do want to say

Speaker 1 because of this post, like I ask this every time we read reviews. He said that you only got to see about 12 rooms.
Now, what is the number of rooms he expected? He's like,

Speaker 1 I wanted 25, 30 rooms.

Speaker 1 What would have made you happy, sir?

Speaker 1 I was expecting to be left to roam free. I thought I would get.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I thought this was just a door charge and I would be able to maybe live with them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what, yeah, like that, that's what, like going into their closet.

Speaker 1 Like, I think some of them are, I think probably not very many, but some of them are expecting that they're going to be able to sort of just wander around the house a little bit.

Speaker 1 He goes, I'm cross with myself for venturing in. You went into the excursion through a created entrance at the side of the building, and there were no pleasantries whatsoever.

Speaker 1 Didn't even see a painting or photo of the young generation of royals. There was a painting of the horrid Camilla that sealed the experience.

Speaker 1 Winter Castle was a much better experience, as many avatars have stated, as other state homes we've visited. Now, this next one is crazy, and I think you're going to love it.

Speaker 1 This is a person from Bath, UK,

Speaker 1 and they are reviewing. They're very mad.
I've been telling you, you should consider visiting there.

Speaker 1 I shower every day.

Speaker 1 I smell so good.

Speaker 1 I think people look at me and think I stink. No, we've been over this.
I know that. I clarified it and said that you smell very, very nice.
You smell very fresh. You're one of the nice smelling boys.

Speaker 1 One of the smelling guys that i've that i've actually met

Speaker 1 exceeding

Speaker 1 i wasn't going to review buckingham palace on this platform however i've responded to a survey sent to me by email and specifically requested a response to the issues i raised i didn't receive one i then after much searching found a contact who i thought might be appropriate but with no email address and so i wrote a letter This also has been ignored.

Speaker 1 And so in my view of my very poor experience, both on the day of my visit and subsequently trying to contact someone about it, I've decided to air my dissatisfaction on TripAdvisor.

Speaker 1 Below is what I wrote to Buckingham Palace, which I've never received a response to. Okay, so this is so they've taken the letter.

Speaker 1 This is my letter that I'm now going to share with you, considering because they don't want to,

Speaker 1 they're not going to respond to it. I mean, this is, listen, this is what TripAdvisor is for.
Yeah, this is this dude is like, I had a bad time in my email account, and it's the queen's fault. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which,

Speaker 1 this is slightly off, but I used to have like a bit about this, but it's my favorite trip advisor. Like, if you ever want to be like, is that

Speaker 1 looking up Yelp or Trip Advisor reviews for the Holocaust Museum in DC?

Speaker 1 And people don't, this, I gotta, I mean, I don't know if we want to go that far off the beaten path here, but the four out of five star reviews for it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like, I mean, we've read this is obviously a very humbling experience, but then, dude, this has to be the, this seems, I don't think this is a joke.

Speaker 1 This has to be the least aware guy of all time.

Speaker 1 He says the guards were all unnecessarily rude at i the guards were quite quite rude to me at the holocaust memorial museum it's like hey man i don't think you get to say that i think you just five stars it and pass it along keep i don't think you review it i because we've read reviews of national parks before which is also a very funny like it's not that pretty some people just get in the habit of review some of these people become like you know we covered yelp guys or whatever they just become like reviewers and they do something and they're almost while they're doing it, they're thinking about their review and they just review everything.

Speaker 1 My visit was on 29th July 2025 at 4 p.m. My birthday.
Oh my God. It was at 4 p.m.
and was a tour of the East Wing and also the staterooms.

Speaker 1 Firstly, may I suggest that out of respect for both the guides and the visitors, people from the offices adjacent to the East Wing corridor, namely Lord Chamberlain, do not conduct loud conversations in the corridor while the guide is trying to address the visitors.

Speaker 1 It's plain rude and displays arrogance. Apart from this, the tour of the East Wing was interesting.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait, what just happened there? They called out somebody by name who was being loud while they were doing the tour? Lord Chamberlain.

Speaker 1 Who's Lord Chamberlain? Is he like a well-known public figure?

Speaker 1 I think it's an area, an office for the Lord Chamberlain. Is my guess, I guess?

Speaker 1 Or maybe it was somebody who just had a name tag that said Lord Chamberlain or something. This guy's at work.
is really what we're getting to.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm trying to figure out: if this is like somebody who's well known in the public eye and they just recognize them and they're like, so this was this was somebody who was annoyed that somebody was working and having a conversation while they were trying to do their tour.

Speaker 1 Well, their work. Yeah.
I'd lay it into him. I'd call him.
I'd go more like, hey, quiet down, Lord Chamberpot. And then I'd be putting the stocks and I'd be like, yeah, you'd be fired.

Speaker 1 He goes, I'd just tell you, if someone was being disruptive while I was cued in the corridor, I would be cross. I would be quite cross.
The stateroom was a deep disappointment.

Speaker 1 I couldn't believe the mess that was the palace route. When I entered through the grand hall, I was barked at by a man to go this way and not that.

Speaker 1 There's no actual guidance as to where I should go, so I bristled at this. A lady.
Oh, so hang on.

Speaker 1 They're like they were they were you were mad because you were walking in the wrong area and somebody was just like hey you need to go over there. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Which just seems to be a pattern of reviewee type things.
You know, someone's like, I'm stupid, but I think it's other people's fault, maybe.

Speaker 1 That's what bristle means, right? Bristle is negative.

Speaker 1 Well, she goes, a lady, obviously, realizing her colleague's rude manner came to my assistance. Quite frankly, the building works going on inside the palace ruined the experience.

Speaker 1 And I would suggest if they continue on into next year, that you consider not opening to the public at all. All except the ham.

Speaker 1 So what happened was the one person was like kind of newer there and was like hey you're not supposed to be over here and then another person came over and was like trust me you don't want to get into it with someone like this just tell them that they're right and move along well the next line is also indicative of that they go all except a handful of staff were disinterested and lacked knowledge of the palace meaning

Speaker 1 like she was so annoying they were asking this person was asking so many annoying questions and they're like i have no idea.

Speaker 1 And it's just like, yeah, and then there was like one person who has been doing the job for a long time. So just like answers with total lies whenever these people ask these questions.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, that, yeah, no, that was from the 1847 fire that, you know, like just makes stuff up. Well, because this was demonstrated to me when I asked a question.

Speaker 1 I am familiar with the staterooms, and one of my favorite objects in the collection is the marble statue of Miss Jordan William, the force mistress. It was in an upper room.

Speaker 1 I can't remember the name and seems to have gone. I asked two different wardens on duty in the room if they knew where it was, and they didn't know what I was talking about.

Speaker 1 It seemed unwilling to engage. The audio guy makes vegetables of us all.

Speaker 1 Unwilling to engage. Please leave me alone.
Like, these are people who are just made it clear. Like, this does,

Speaker 1 listen.

Speaker 1 You almost feel bad, but it's like, this person does seem just so annoying, right? Like, even just from their own retelling of these stories, it's like, I seem to have annoyed everybody.

Speaker 1 Also, these people are like, I mean, I don't know, but it's like, aren't these people like basically living? They're like the only people in the world that are still servants in fucking 2025.

Speaker 1 And you're like, hey, I know you guys are just are at the beck and call of old monarchy, but also. I wanted you to drop everything and figure out where this statuette went.

Speaker 1 And I'd be like, yeah, you're, I mean, I feel bad sending food back. Like, how are you?

Speaker 1 They're either complete servants or they're just workers who are working there for the tours and they are, you know, they're just like doing a job and they're just like a frontline worker.

Speaker 1 Either one, they certainly don't, they shouldn't have to know where the statuette of the fucking lady mistress or whatever was moved to. And I guess maybe somebody should know that.

Speaker 1 I get, I guess, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know, man. If you're just a guy that like stands around and tells people

Speaker 1 that. That person shouldn't know.
I'm saying this person was obviously going up to people and asking them, and it wasn't their job.

Speaker 1 But I guess maybe if it's a tour and they're like, you're looking at stuff like that, maybe there should be a place where she could go, like an information place and say, hey, where did they move this statuette?

Speaker 1 This statuette is a favorite of mine.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Sorry.
What are you laughing at? I don't know.

Speaker 1 RR but

Speaker 1 I was like, there should be an information booth, like a mall. There's an information booth, there's a guy selling like burner phones and drones in the middle of it.

Speaker 1 But there's also like them going up to that person, they front-load, that person knows they're a nightmare because there's so much front-loaded information where they were like, hey, the other times I've been here and it's like, oh, God, dude.

Speaker 1 Like, this person's got the little, like, they're like the Disneyland.

Speaker 1 They've got the rubber bracelet with like a crown on it that they can just beep on all those statuettes to get fucking points or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The t-shirt is just like the 500 club or whatever, like 500 visits in 500 days.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're coming up.

Speaker 1 The prince's not going to make me the crown-shaped pancakes today. What's when is the royal brunch? I'd like to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the person sees them. You're so right, Eli.
The person can like sort of smell them like a mile away.

Speaker 1 It's just like, oh no, like this person is going to unload on me with like, yeah, a bunch of nonsense. And even, like, you know, this was this.
Oh, I saw this before. And, like, yeah, it's got to be.

Speaker 1 I, I really feel,

Speaker 1 I really feel for, you know, you feel for frontline workers at a lot of places, but god damn it, man.

Speaker 1 The people at the palace who are dealing with royal watchers coming in all the time, that's a, that's a rough job.

Speaker 1 It is like.

Speaker 1 I was just like visiting Buckingham Palace with one of those autograph books, the big like horizontal fucking cardboard. I'm like,

Speaker 1 can I get their handprint? Can I get their stamp?

Speaker 1 I mean, you just, it's writing a, it's absurd to write a review of Buckingham Palace. It's just an absurd thing to do.
Here's a question. This is for the Queen's funeral.
This is from three years ago.

Speaker 1 Rest in peace.

Speaker 1 Rest in peace to the city. R.I.P.
Queen.

Speaker 1 God save her or whatever. Anyway.
Right, Peter Knight Queen. And he goes, how did they manage yesterday?

Speaker 1 As someone that loves to snack, it made me wonder how the royal family went so long without a meal time.

Speaker 1 The funeral was at 11. Naturally, they would have had breakfast before then, but then nothing else until after things concluded at Windsor at 4.
Whoa, yeah, that's fucking wild.

Speaker 1 No, we're talking no lunch at all. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 And dinner at 4.

Speaker 1 I mean, early dinner, I guess.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Kind of like an early dinner, but still, that's a long time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's

Speaker 1 maybe they can. The family doesn't have a lot of people they can ask if they need something.
Like, if they need something, there's not a lot of people.

Speaker 1 I promise you guys the next line is great. He goes,

Speaker 1 he goes, how did no one faint? I'm guessing they had non-crumb-making snacks in their cars they could have nibbled on as they drove from London to Windsor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's at first he was like, I guess they had snacks. And then he was just like, but the crumbs.

Speaker 1 Well, they, yeah, no, there's, there's, they make snacks nowadays that are non-crumb making snacks, that's pretty sure. I mean, if anybody could get a hold of them it would be the royals

Speaker 1 this web is even more tangled than i could have imagined

Speaker 1 like a matrushka of problems yeah so that's a good point so i was gonna i was thinking maybe that they were like on camera for that entire time it was like a really long service but no they're saying that they if they were in a car i would imagine in the car

Speaker 1 they were eating food yeah or not it's five hours i mean yeah they're not often i go five hours

Speaker 1 yeah five hours actually isn't a long time time at all, is it?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I was thinking you were having breakfast earlier than that, but I guess you just have a late breakfast. You just eat right before the service, and then you just have five hours.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Listen to this British guy. You think people suffer if they go five hours without a meal, especially following any semblance of a decent breakfast?

Speaker 1 Then I remember what the average American looks like, and it all makes sense. Okay, that in the same sentence is talking about a decent breakfast.

Speaker 1 And it's like, it's especially weird that you think you can't go five hours if they had a fucking English breakfast. Days of

Speaker 1 protein. No, yeah.
An English breakfast is English breakfast is heavy. An English breakfast is as heavy as heavy can be.
Bean, they're always having beans in it. I've known eating motherfucker.

Speaker 1 This guy goes, I think they're aware enough of long-enduring protocols to stick snacks and pockets and purses to eating limos or other private moments.

Speaker 1 Like, you've pictured the king taking a piss in a urinal and eating a cracker

Speaker 1 or just eating like a fucking energy bar, like a protein bar bar or something like a kind bar.

Speaker 1 Nature Valley is making crumbs. Yeah, well, that's very crumb-making.
Yeah, that's why

Speaker 1 that's at the urinal. That's not something to have in the limousine for sure.
No, this guy goes to the bottom. Imagine seeing

Speaker 1 a urinal and a guy's eating a Nature Valley granola bar at the urinal. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You know what? You know that like on that fucking drive, you know that everybody looks over and fucking Prince Andrew is eating in Nature Valley.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, what the hell, man? Come on. There's a bad guy with just a bag full of uncrustables for them to make sure they can make it through the.

Speaker 1 They're eating those Gatorade cubes that the NFL players get that English shoes. I think you guys are going to love this next one.

Speaker 1 This is why Prince Philip had a UTI after the Jubilee in 2012 from that non-stop event on the boat. He ended up being hospitalized, poor man.
Because he held his pee that long? Yep.

Speaker 1 He had a urinary tract infection. Oh.
Mr. Brave.
Mr. Brave, man.
It's pretty colorful. He's never heard of an adult diaper.

Speaker 1 I mean, plenty of people, you know, at the super, like football games and stuff, will just toss a diaper on.

Speaker 1 Another reason Americans are a little bit more evolved than the British is they understand, hey, if you're going to be somewhere for a long time, you put on a diaper.

Speaker 1 Actually, this person goes, I was wondering about the potty breaks. I would not have been above a pair of depends

Speaker 1 if I was trying to see if I could spot any evidence of them. So they were then watching the funeral.

Speaker 1 Like, does it

Speaker 1 look like King Charles?

Speaker 1 Is he wearing a channel?

Speaker 1 There looks to be a little bunching around the right cheek. If you look, there's some bunching there, Debbie.
Looking at all of them, like,

Speaker 1 this guy goes, riff time, by the way, this is time for a riff. Oh, nice.
Eli, you like,

Speaker 1 you do stand-up comedy, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, sometimes. So I'm always up for a riff.
Oh, you're going to love this. This is the funniest riff you'll ever.
Look it on me. This guy goes, they stop for takeaway on their way to Windsor.

Speaker 1 Charles loves his fish and chips.

Speaker 1 And then he gets a reply.

Speaker 1 I mean, I did my own Crustables riff, so I feel like I can't hit on this guy too hard.

Speaker 1 The next guy goes, and Charles going nuts when mayonnaise drops on him, like he did with the ink lol.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, mayonnaise in place of the ink. Imagine the ink situation, but it's mayonnaise this time from the restaurant.
Let's call the callback. This guy might do stand-up, actually.

Speaker 1 The next guy goes, mental image of the Rolls-Royce waiting in a McDonald's drive-through, Royal Standard, fluttering in the breeze. Would one like fries with that?

Speaker 1 So, does he mean it's like a crazy image? Because in Britain, if they say something's mental,

Speaker 1 it's mental. Yeah, it's absolutely mental.

Speaker 1 It's mental to think of a king eating French fries.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Wait, Brian, what was that? What was that? Fries?

Speaker 1 French fries.

Speaker 1 Your British accent.

Speaker 1 I believe I saw someone comment in the Discord. Brian's accent of the week.
Well, no, that's a different thing. That's on Shocktober on the on the hey, on the Patreon, Shocktober.

Speaker 1 You get Brian's accent of the week. Brian's accent of the week.
Only a few of them are offensive. And if you're wondering, if you're wondering, oh, does he only do the inoffensive ones?

Speaker 1 No, he only does the actually the other ones. And he does them by accident a lot of the time.

Speaker 1 But yeah, people have commented to me that your British accent is one of the worst that they've ever heard.

Speaker 1 Hello. I'm British.

Speaker 1 You got southern there at the end.

Speaker 1 I know I'm British. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm British.

Speaker 1 I'm British. Hello, mate.
I'm British. Ah, good lord, I'm British.
That's what they say all the time. This guy, this is a poster royalty.
This is two days long. I'm British.

Speaker 1 This guy goes, Lord of the Ring star Ian mcclellan reveals the queen was bloody rude when she met him uh mcclellan told the times say that yeah also bloody's like really bad there right you're not like it's like

Speaker 1 but also it is but also like i don't know i think she kind of comes across rude all the time right she expects people to bow to her she's like kind of like you know she oftentimes doesn't acknowledge people or whatever i think she's just like her entire being is kind of rude isn't it yeah well this mcclellan told the times that the monarch told him, you've been doing this for an awfully long time, to which he replied, well, not as long as you.

Speaker 1 Then she asked, does anyone still actually go to the theater?

Speaker 1 So that's

Speaker 1 valid question. Yeah, that's a valid question with streaming.
It kind of sounds like she's kind of was tuned into what was going on with streaming, entertainment, and Netflix and everything.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 First reply is, I don't see what was so insulting about her saying you've been doing this an awfully long time.

Speaker 1 Sounds like standard small talk that was probably not the best, but not worth him going for the jugular like he did in response.

Speaker 1 I love she got the last line in, like she did. He's always been a major grouch.

Speaker 1 That'd be sick. I think I'd prefer that.
It's like you're expecting the most pleasantry-filled, sort of just like you know, dry handshake. Like, and then she just cuts, she just chops you up, dude.

Speaker 1 She just dices you up like that. Yeah, she goes full fucking Jeff Ross on you.
Like, she goes full hinge cliff on you. Like,

Speaker 1 it's just like the queen on Kill Tony. Oh my god.
The queen. Like that's the crazy.
That's what sucks about the queen dying. One of the worst things about it is she'll never be on Kill Tony now.

Speaker 1 And she could have honestly been on there if they did like a British one or whatever. She's so rude.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 This guy, the person goes, it's it's the who goes to the theater comment I think he thought was rude. And then that gets a reply.
He practically told her she's a performer.

Speaker 1 Someone said here that the queen started all, but no, he was the one. I mean, he, I think he was saying that.

Speaker 1 I do agree that that's what he was saying. That I think he was kind of saying, like, how long have you been doing it for? Like, this act, like, this nonsense bullshit thing.
But maybe not.

Speaker 1 Maybe he was also just saying, how long have you been queen for? It sounds to me like it was a pretty innocuous back and forth. Oh, I know, but this guy goes, she wasn't rude.

Speaker 1 She just reminded him that she's the queen and not the performer like he suggested to her. I mean, he made a remark.
She just gave back one to him.

Speaker 1 It seems to me like he expects people not to answer him back. And anyway, ironically, he speaks about the impossibility of being nice all the time.

Speaker 1 I just pictured her. There's this great video of these two old CFL players who had a big rivalry.
Joe Capp is one of their names from the BC Lions, my hometown, BC Lions.

Speaker 1 It's my favorite team. And one of them's like in a walker, I think, because they're really elderly at like some event.
And they start fighting. Like they have a fist fight with each other.

Speaker 1 Like one of the guys punches the other guy in the face but they're really elderly and i just pictured like the queen and like just like going after like you know getting into it with somebody and sort of grabbing them like hockey style and trying to like grab their shirt over their head all right and just sort of land uppercuts on the queen Well, that's like the old dudes when they fight.

Speaker 1 Because, you know, sometimes you see that video of like some old dude and he just says, usually like says some slur or something.

Speaker 1 And he gets, so it's like the only time people are like, yeah, he's going to get hit.

Speaker 1 and then they get hit and they just stumble back for what feels like it's like fucking tekken or something where they stumble through like three stages backwards before they finally fall over like it's in like a bagel shop and then he goes through the wall and lands in like a dojo

Speaker 1 somebody is some like god yeah i think that it would be kind of cool to see more i don't want to think it would be a good thing in general to have happen but it would be cool to if we had more like video of older celebrities like that getting

Speaker 1 there was an old video, and I'll never be able to find it again.

Speaker 1 But I remember watching it as the funniest: two guys on a golf course getting into a fist fight, and it's the worst fight you've ever seen in your entire life.

Speaker 1 Like, no punches land, they both end up on the ground rolling around. It's so funny.
I've never been able to find it again. It bumps me.
Old guys fighting, old guys fighting.

Speaker 1 That's why that video was scrubbed. That's funny.

Speaker 1 Old guys fighting is very funny, though. I do, I do love

Speaker 1 any video of when it's two old guys fighting. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. The crown season one is a show about the queen.
I watched this. I watched season one.
Dork.

Speaker 1 This is David gives it four and a half stars. How many stars would you give it, Chris?

Speaker 1 Let me think. Five.
No, I think I would give it probably four stars, probably four stars.

Speaker 1 I think it was quite good, like the acting, and it was good. It was like obviously quite slow and dry.

Speaker 1 But I did find some parts of it were interesting. You know, it wouldn't be interesting to you guys, but it was interesting to me as somebody who is a part of the Commonwealth.

Speaker 1 I found it very interesting. Full stars.

Speaker 1 Did that work?

Speaker 1 When you drag out the last word or whatever, it just morphs into an entirely different. No, that's what makes it the language.
I think that's what makes it sound right.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Oh, full stalls.

Speaker 1 It does like, I don't want to criticize your accents, but the drawing out of the last word feels like a last grab before you go off the cliff.

Speaker 1 That's the thing.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm doing really hard. That's why I'm doing it.
And it almost feels like it's a situation where it's like, if you just calmed down and you didn't sort of grab so hard, you wouldn't fall.

Speaker 1 But you actually grabbing, you're like pulling away the rocks and you're making yourself fall faster.

Speaker 1 I have, after everyone else, just started watching The Crown. I hadn't realized it was written by the chap who did all those Helen Miran queen things.

Speaker 1 To some extent, this is an extended version of all those

Speaker 1 PM audiences with the gaps in between filled up a little bit.

Speaker 1 There's a bit of a tabloid tendency in the areas of royal life covered with emphasis on the abdication crisis, Princess Margaret's affairs, and other bad behavior.

Speaker 1 As expected, the queen is perfect in every way.

Speaker 1 It's amusing to see what a cow Queen Mary was, and after her, the late Queen Mother, the equaries and the courtiers and private secretaries are all eaten toffs, as expected, and everyone wears proper clothes.

Speaker 1 Claire Foy is really very good as Her Majesty, except her cleft chin really distracts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, can you get that fixed, lady?

Speaker 1 I will say I did not find that. I did not find it distracting.

Speaker 1 Talking of chins, Matt Smith is wonderful as the Duke of Edinburgh, capturing his rascally humor as well as his steely determination in his squinty eyes. Great actor.
This series is like a peep show.

Speaker 1 Looking inside the palace at the secrets the royals would like to keep from us, except that a lot of it's speculation, and that rather takes the glit off of the gingerbread.

Speaker 1 There's also a lot of 21st-century and American English in the dialogue, which could have been eliminated.

Speaker 1 With one more pass by a decent script editor, I'm enjoying it, and we'll proceed to series two.

Speaker 1 I'm enjoying it. It was pretty solid.

Speaker 1 I'm enjoying it.

Speaker 1 Series two.

Speaker 1 British at the end.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Series two.

Speaker 1 Series two.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I found it to be,

Speaker 1 yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I didn't like it enough that I kept watching the show.

Speaker 1 But Jim says, why did America secede? Queen Elizabeth sells the monarchy. Would I trade Nixon, Johnson, Carter, Reagan, Bush, et cetera, et cetera, for Queen Elizabeth? Yes.
Wait a second.

Speaker 1 That's not how it works. You can't just choose all the alternating years there if you didn't notice.
And also, those people are also, those people were elected. I mean, they are.

Speaker 1 There is like a difference between those two things. There still are elected officials in the UK as well.
This guy goes.

Speaker 1 Be like, would you rather have a monarchy or go through the Great Depression? It's like, what is this argument?

Speaker 1 This guy goes, it's so boring. Oh, my God.
A boring woman living in a boring life that to this day remains remains boring. I tried to watch it three times.
I always fall asleep.

Speaker 1 So it was Jamaican. Yeah, that was.
No, that's what I get accused of all the time is Jamaican. Okay.
That's one of his famous accents. We be Jamon.

Speaker 1 Don't do it on the main episodes.

Speaker 1 It told you that Brian's accent of the week is only for Shock Tober.

Speaker 1 This is a final The Queen review. The critics should not be paid nor listened to for their opinions for the many, many times they're wrong.

Speaker 1 Is it that way that they have become so out of touch with the general public that they've mutated a taste so far deviated of the mainstream that they should just stop wasting our time and try to find a real job instead, preferably one that does not require their opinions to be taken seriously in any way?

Speaker 1 Wow,

Speaker 1 that's one of the most anti-critic posts I've ever seen. I'm not a big fan of critics either.

Speaker 1 I don't mind them.

Speaker 1 I think I utilize them sometimes for movies i go to rotten tomatoes and i'll like i'll look at the critic score yeah sometimes even more than the audience score for sure but this person seems to almost have like a a personal vendetta against somebody who's a critic like it's

Speaker 1 saying

Speaker 1 you're not a big fan of your critics you're yeah

Speaker 1 there's something more going on with this guy for sure because this is like a real like they should get a fucking real job and hopefully one where their opinion doesn't matter because none of their opinions are worth shit like that is that's some serious hate right there it's also crazy for them to be like hey royal family fan08 here i'm starting to think the critics might be out of touch with uh normal people it's like

Speaker 1 dude you're standing like the monarchy like the most famously out of touch yeah i didn't even think about it mike zero uh posted a megan markle says the most insulting thing in decades this just damaged netflix more So

Speaker 1 that is the post we're going to read comments for. Now

Speaker 1 this is a video. This is a video just to be right and I'm not going to play the video.
He only does YouTube videos and that's a real, you say, oh, I want to hear the video. No, you don't.
You don't

Speaker 1 want to get one.

Speaker 1 Mid-roll length to the second, you said. Yeah.
Yes. And it feel, oh, yeah.
And it feels like it's always that thing where it's like, feels like something he's about to tell you.

Speaker 1 He does this really good job of making it feel like he's about to tell tell you the information that you want, but he never does.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 I'll read this to you, Eli, so you can hear the type of thing. This is the description of this video,

Speaker 1 which, by the way, again, the title, Megan Markle says most insulting thing in decades. This just damaged Netflix more.
That's the name of it, okay?

Speaker 1 With the Megan Markle Netflix series known as With Love With Meghan, season two, going through a ratings disaster and creating wider issues than the Meghan Markle pregnancy video, one major development going on now involves how Megan Markle went on to yet another rant towards the critics and said the worst thing yet by taking things up a notch.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 you're like, oh, I wouldn't mind knowing what the worst thing is.

Speaker 1 He won't say it. He always says that like Robert De Niro says the worst thing ever.

Speaker 1 Like that will be one of his things. Like we, and we, we don't really know what the worst thing ever is, but a lot of people have said it apparently.
And it's a secret word. It's a secret word.

Speaker 1 And we haven't, and we've watched videos to try to find out what it is, but we never lasted long enough to actually figure it out, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 All right, so here we're neither here nor there, but when they mentioned Megan Markle pregnancy video, for some reason, my brain went to be it being a video of her getting pregnant.

Speaker 1 She's drinking a glass of wine. Yeah.
And they think she's pregnant. I think.
Maybe the baby likes wine. Yeah.
Hey, you can have one glass of wine. For real.
I think

Speaker 1 when women are pregnant, they can have one glass of wine a night or whatever.

Speaker 1 They can have a couple if they're feeling. I think that I think you can have.

Speaker 1 I think you can, you know what, honestly, if it's like a really kind of a nice, like, like expensive wine, I think you can have a bottle. Yeah.
My wife went. Little baby.

Speaker 1 I mean, my mom went to a bottle. Maybe it's a heavyweight.
Your mom went like, yeah. You think your mom was drinking wine still?

Speaker 1 Beer and vodka. Nice.
Yeah. When I was in there.
And look at me. I turned out great.
It's like driving. You just got to stay below 0.08.
And then the baby's okay

Speaker 1 my i'm still shocked i made it like a bit about it my birth mom whatever smoked the whole time i was in there yeah i'm dead now so i'm like damn i could have been huge oh yeah you're really you're waiting are you are we've had some pretty big guests what how i've always tried i'm trying to figure out the tallest guests we've ever had how tall are you i'm clocking in around 6'5

Speaker 1 i think i think that it's very tall and you're up there you're on the list but i think i think it's still

Speaker 1 yeah it's

Speaker 1 yeah, I never win, but you know, I do, it does well the rest of the time. 6'5 is good height, man.
That's good height, dude. A little too tall, if you ask me, but you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 It is, I like have said, like, 6'4 seems to be the point at which architects are like, fuck, fuck all the people above this.

Speaker 1 There's so much stuff that's like, and it's the worst because it hits you. Like, it doesn't like conk you in the forehead.
It like catches your scalp. and that's happened to me

Speaker 1 yeah yeah that that's i got hit on a tree um and scalped myself a pretty i'm 5'11.

Speaker 1 now that's a good size very the most normal size you can be and it's funny because i'm the most normal guy in the show too so hey 6'2 guy clocking in over here you like 6'2

Speaker 1 clocking in at the tall factory what's

Speaker 1 clocking in at 6'2 and i will say i know what you're saying 6'4 like because it feels like there's a lot of stuff where i'm I can see that I'm right at the top, where it's like perfect for me, where there's only a couple of inches, maybe.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, yeah, anyone who's 6'4 ⁇ , 6'5 ⁇ is going to just be doing a lot of ducking in this world. No doubt about it.
This person goes.

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't want to. Oh, sorry.
Oh, sorry, Brian. Tall Talk.
You didn't want us to keep talking about being tall. Oh, this segment's called Tall Tales.

Speaker 1 We're all just slowly rising in our camera, getting taller and taller. Yeah.
This is Tall Tales. Yeah.
I'm happy to report myself and over 60 friends who have left Netflix is the first comment.

Speaker 1 Okay, very cool. 60 friends sounds mega made up.
You have 60 friends? Yeah, that's it. 60 friends is such a number.

Speaker 1 It might be talking about he's in like a group or something. You know what I mean? Like a Facebook group or something like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're leaving Netflix. Every time he goes to a party, there's 60 people there.
Every single place he goes to, he's like, oh, a big party tonight. And they're like, is everybody showing up?

Speaker 1 And they're like, all 59 of them. Hell yeah.
We're coming. Everyone's coming over and watching Amazon Prime.

Speaker 1 I got the world's biggest couch. We're all going to check out Amazon Prime.
I love this little.

Speaker 1 I love this little thing. She was never a Hollywood actress.

Speaker 1 And then reply, she definitely was never an A-list actress, that's for sure. And then another reply, she was on a show filmed in Toronto and she was not the main character, which is not Hollywood.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait a second. That's not actually.

Speaker 1 Why would you throw

Speaker 1 like a fellow commonwealth country under the buzz to service your argument there's no need to drag us into it a lot of stuff gets filmed in toronto and vancouver in fact where i live a lot of stuff and it can be real serious hollywood productions you know so i i think that that's really unfair to i think she's a i love the b-list toronto actors if you ask me well i love it but in your defense once your hackles were raised to defend canada you got the really canadian not where you're like that's not no,

Speaker 1 no, no. Well, we've been doing some more Canadian content on the show, actually.
We've been actually, yeah, no way, bud.

Speaker 1 But I, I think, my Canadian accent, people said in the chat this week, was really good. Yeah, your Canadian accent, your Canadian accent is very good, actually.

Speaker 1 I just feel like they're sort of like mixing up a Canadian show. There are like, you know what I mean, like shows that are only in Canada, and that is a low-budget thing.
Not suits.

Speaker 1 But there are suits, yeah, which is this is the show they're talking about, suits, which is just happens to be filmed in Toronto.

Speaker 1 There's plenty of like big major Hollywood movies and TV shows that are filmed in Canada for tax reasons or whatever. This guy goes, her behavior is becoming more and more dangerous every day.

Speaker 1 Well, I think I hope that he's got security. Well,

Speaker 1 why?

Speaker 1 I've been thinking about that since you said it, the security thing. I don't think security will save you if your wife wants to kill you.

Speaker 1 Right? Like, you're sleeping in the bed with her. I mean, there's, there's no way that, like,

Speaker 1 you can knock over a she knows the Washington Monument. She knows where that is.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 She's, she's, presumably, she knows all of those things that could easily just like, oh, I'll put a little tape on the bottom of it or whatever and stick it onto the side of the, you know, on the side table.

Speaker 1 It won't fall over. You're being choked by your wife.
You reach to knock your special monument over and you realize that she's bolted it to the nightstand and

Speaker 1 quietly and it won't budge. You like you said, taped it down.
Now you're

Speaker 1 gonna be like, there's a guy who comes in there and he's choking you, and then you're like, honey, help, honey, help. And then you go to knock it over, and it's bolted down.

Speaker 1 And then you look into her eyes and you realize that she's in on it as well. This person says.
That's a sick movie, bro. You should write the crown.
It wouldn't be so sick. That would be good.

Speaker 1 This next one, I believe she has antisocial personality disorder and is very dangerous. She poisoned the family cat as a kid and is the one who hurt her dog, Guy.

Speaker 1 It's only a matter of time before she harms her kids or Harry.

Speaker 1 So they are very wide.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 you don't see this very often in like sort of celebrity stuff where you're like, I believe she is a psychopathic murderer who is only a matter of time before she kills her whole entire family.

Speaker 1 I don't think I ever really saw that in like the National Enquirer, even or whatever.

Speaker 1 This person's a big escalation to go from like, she's maybe not a bride befitting the royal family to being like, I believe Megan Markle exhibits all main traits of the dark triad.

Speaker 1 He goes, I keep mentioning Harry probably got a $10 million life insurance on him without his knowledge. California Coastline.
I keep mentioning that to everybody and nobody.

Speaker 1 Nobody will fucking talk to me about it. Everyone in my office has stopped drinking water.
Unrelated.

Speaker 1 People have bought their own water bottles from home.

Speaker 1 Listen, man, that is like, why do you

Speaker 1 based on what? Is there any like this is just a theory that this person's made up of. This is a theory.
And

Speaker 1 I keep mentioning Harry probably got a $10 million life insurance on without his knowledge. California Coastline got a lot of curves, and he's always sky high.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 she's taking out

Speaker 1 a $10 million. So she's going to, they think she's going to collect a big $10 million life insurance.
Like this, it's for the money. She's going to kill him for the money.
Yep. Yeah.
She thinks that.

Speaker 1 Also, I don't think you need to take a $10 million life insurance policy out on someone who's heir to the throne.

Speaker 1 Well, he left, though. He left.

Speaker 1 He's still money. He's still

Speaker 1 so rich. And she's so rich.
She was a Hollywood actor on like a tour.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah. But

Speaker 1 she's that rich. I feel like these

Speaker 1 people are thinking of her in the wrong state. I mean, obviously they are.
But to think that, like, hey, this is someone who's going to be like, all right, I got to get my hands on this $10 million.

Speaker 1 Here's an interesting one I think is going to blow your guys' mind. This one is something.
She sounds more and more like the U.S. idiot in chief.

Speaker 1 And she even throws her little temper tantrums like him. Does she not realize the whole world hates him and is laughing at him behind his back? Is that what she's after? Being hated by the world?

Speaker 1 She's getting close to that kind of hate. Wait, does she not realize that everyone's laughing at him? Oh, because they've decided that she's trying to be like him.
He's Trump.

Speaker 1 And does she not realize that that's actually bad? Because people don't like Trump.

Speaker 1 So the thing that makes her like Trump is that she got mad. Yeah,

Speaker 1 she throws her little temper tantrums. And I don't know if you've seen her hands, but they ain't too big.

Speaker 1 The Cheeto. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like all of her behavior. I'm so confused because I think she behaves exactly like I would expect someone who is in a procedural and then got married to a royal would.

Speaker 1 I think it's all been completely followed the track, I can imagine.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen a lot of her behavior.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I think to me, it's always seemed sort of, yeah, par for the course, just for sort of regular celebrity kind of behavior. Well, did you let me ask you if you've heard about this?

Speaker 1 Because this is something you maybe haven't heard about.

Speaker 1 She did an Instagram post, a reel, inside a limo in Paris with her feet up and out the window.

Speaker 1 Can I say this? I went and watched a movie last night. I went and saw a movie, Begonia.

Speaker 1 Oh, I want to watch that. My wife won't go.

Speaker 1 And I went and I went into the VIP theater with

Speaker 1 the reclining seating seats. I come in there,

Speaker 1 big, huge old guy, shoes and socks off, with his feet up in the theater.

Speaker 1 Like, what the hell, man? He had a lot of people. And the leather seats, too.
Bare feet on leather. Oh, on leather seats.
Like, and he, it was, it was wild. Like, I, I was like, what? Whoa, man.

Speaker 1 Like, I couldn't.

Speaker 1 I would do that. That's crazy behavior to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This is from Mumsnet.
And the person asked, why is there more online vitriol towards Megan Markle than Andrew? So now.

Speaker 1 this is going to be Matt probably.

Speaker 1 The people are going to do some self-reflection here in realize, I'm guessing. This person goes, I don't know, but I could hazard a guess.

Speaker 1 I was taken aback watching breakfast TV on BBC One this morning, where they said that Andrew pays his water bill when the fancy takes him. Okay, so he pays his water bill when the fancy takes him.

Speaker 1 If only us plebes could choose whether to be bothered with such trifles when the mood takes us. They had some MP or other commenting, and he could not have been more gentle in her response.

Speaker 1 If she tried, ridiculous. They had some MP or other commenting, and she could not have been more gentle in her response if she tried.
Ridiculous.

Speaker 1 Next guy goes, Most of what you term hate, I'd call dislike. Hate is a very strong word for someone that you don't know.

Speaker 1 That's really a strange

Speaker 1 bone to pick here. Well, you call it hate,

Speaker 1 I call it dislike.

Speaker 1 Okay. What is this like?

Speaker 1 This show is going to be locked immediately because they're coming around to something that they should have discovered a long time ago.

Speaker 1 And if the mods want this forum to remain active, they need to shut this down, ASAP.

Speaker 1 Because people are going to be like, oh, maybe we're a little too weird about making more coins. Yeah, people are going to be like, should I just start throwing pottery?

Speaker 1 And then the whole forum is going to die,

Speaker 1 which is probably good.

Speaker 1 Because I agree some posters are obsessed, Beck's to ignore them. But a lot of us find her antics amusing and pathetic in a soap opera way.
I don't hate Andrew either. Why would I?

Speaker 1 What good would it do? I hate Andrew. I'm going to go, I'm going to be on the pro-Megan Markle side between her and Prince Andrew.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to say, like, you don't have to, yeah, like, I'm going to say, yeah, I'm going to take Markle over

Speaker 1 Jeffrey Epstein's good friend,

Speaker 1 Prince Andrew.

Speaker 1 This guy goes, Andrew hasn't paid for or won any awards recently. He hasn't started any podcasts.
He's not made any statements. He's even podcasting.

Speaker 1 That would be an interesting. I could see

Speaker 1 him. I could see him as a guest on.
I didn't say this, but this podcast.

Speaker 1 I would enjoy him. He's going around and doing some like, he's like, he's like testing the waters of podcasting.
He goes as a guest on the Adam Friedland show.

Speaker 1 I could see him as a guest on there and like, you know, discovering, hey, this wasn't a good idea, actually. He does what I do, and he goes to LA for a week and does Doughboys and

Speaker 1 Doughboys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like, he's doing the best show, Comedy Bang, man. He does a character on Comedy Bang.

Speaker 1 He goes, he's in the second part only. He's not the lead guess.
The lead guest is Pat and Oswald. He's like on promoting something.
But then they have a guy on. They never say it's Prince Andrew.

Speaker 1 It's just a character, you know, like Cedric, like the lion tamer or whatever. And then in the, like, you just see in the description that it's Prince Andrew.

Speaker 1 Well, this guy goes, and they're like, he's not made any statements or jam because Megan Markle has a jam, like jelly.

Speaker 1 Oh, so they're basically saying that, like, hey, listen, man, we understand he's friends with Jeffrey Epstein.

Speaker 1 He went to Jeffrey Epstein to Sex Kids Island and everything like that, but he's not making a big to-do about it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he shut his mouth and doesn't do anything to make people talk about it.

Speaker 1 I think that might be because the thing he did is considered to be one of the most horrific crimes. And Megan Markle is just drinking wine one time.

Speaker 1 You know, maybe that's why one of them is hiding away and the other one is out in your face.

Speaker 1 Look, quote me if you must, but I think that Prince Andrew has handled the accusations of rampant pedophilia with grace. You know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's so, it's so ridiculous to frame it in a way to be like, well, yeah, but he's not. I mean, they're just saying, like, he's not in your face.

Speaker 1 So there's not, you know, you're not even thinking about him. But like, I would argue also that Megan Markle is only in your face doing like because of your obsession.

Speaker 1 Like, there's a lot of people who have a podcast and have things like that. And you don't have to watch them or listen to them or have anything to do with them.

Speaker 1 Think about how many podcasts there are. Again, well, burn off your Google alert and you will be, she'll be in your face a lot less.
That's the thing, Eli.

Speaker 1 I I had never Chris had to tell me because I was like why does this guy fucking talk about Megan Markle every day like why with Mike Zero why is it like she's not even like anybody to me like I don't think about her as like a celebrity or anything

Speaker 1 and he that he had to explain to me like people hate her and i i can't i cannot believe the like the the level of hate to be like i think she's gonna kill her husband yeah that's that's the furthest that's the first not just just husband and family, children.

Speaker 1 One of the people said that we, I believe she's going to kill her children. I mean, that is, yeah, that is like crazy.

Speaker 1 It is, it is people who are like, yeah, it's, it's beyond celebrity because it's these people obsessed with the royals who have made that their entire life.

Speaker 1 So their entire life is centered around following the royals, what the royals are up to, all of that shit. And they see her as like the ultimate villain in like their life, right?

Speaker 1 Because their life is the royals.

Speaker 1 So it's, it's bigger than that like the hate that she has i think is unmatched for from any celebrity you really gotta feel for her i wonder what it's like like if she how much she's able to just like you know is she just walking around and like getting you know like are people harassing her hopefully she does not

Speaker 1 see

Speaker 1 the more like this person why on earth do people like you keep using the word hate to describe the public's reaction to ridiculous self-obsessed characters such as prince andrew or Meghan Markle.

Speaker 1 Nobody hates these idiots. It may be that we simply don't like liars, cheats, narcissists, opportunists who are desperate to keep shoving themselves into the public view.

Speaker 1 If they insist on putting themselves out there and making fools of themselves, then of course the public will react, mostly by ridiculing them. That's all.

Speaker 1 I would say Meghan Markle beats Prince Andrew by a mile in the shoving herself in our faces department. Maybe Hitler, he might warrant hate.
Wait, what?

Speaker 1 It's the last sentence.

Speaker 1 Maybe Hitler. He might warrant the word maybe.

Speaker 1 Oh, they just realized at the end, they're like, oh, oh, yeah, well, I guess I should throw in an amendment here. Yeah.
Maybe Hitler does deserve hate.

Speaker 1 I don't want to use any strong, like, I don't really want to confirm it. I have to think more.
Maybe. Yeah.
Ask me if he rises to the level.

Speaker 1 I mean, that is just, again, these people are fucking so, like, that's just so crazy to be like.

Speaker 1 That he's not, of course he's not. How is he going to shove himself in your face? In his position right now, what is he? What type of a press tour? What type of a television interview?

Speaker 1 What type of a show is Netflix going to give? Like, what is he possibly going to give? Prince Andrew Show. Look.

Speaker 1 Prince Andrew Show.

Speaker 1 Kirby's enthusiasm a real Rob.

Speaker 1 I live in a hundred years.

Speaker 1 There's somebody who lives in an Amtrak bookstore. Megan Markle and will not stop shoving her face in my life.

Speaker 1 I cannot imagine something I would want to watch more than a Curb Your Enthusiasm style show produced by Prince Andrew, starring Prince Andrew.

Speaker 1 A silly imagining of his own life.

Speaker 1 It's Curb Your Enthusiasm, but it's spelled K-E-R-B. Don't they fucking spell it like that?

Speaker 1 As a Canadian watching game four, this bugs me. Where's the love for the Blue Jays? And this is a picture of Megan Markle and Prince Harry in a LA Dodgers hat.

Speaker 1 So, because that's a Commonwealth, this is a true

Speaker 1 stream briefly. And listen,

Speaker 1 I don't want to talk about that friggin' World Series. Devastating to our entire country, one of the most heartbreaking sports losses.

Speaker 1 You think it's going to buy better bats? What's going on? I mean, listen,

Speaker 1 this was really one of the worst ways to lose

Speaker 1 a series.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't think anybody cares. I said this on stream.
I don't think anybody cares about this. I don't, I think.
Oh, well.

Speaker 1 She grew up in LA. They live in California.
How is this difficult? Who cares anyway? They aren't working royals. They aren't there as reps for the crown.
It's baseball. It's a game.

Speaker 1 Did either of them assault a child? No. Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, hang on. Oh, because

Speaker 1 I think that's a good question.

Speaker 1 Prince Andrew has not been mentioned at all. But I think that still might be a reference to Prince Andrew.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He sort of exists as the, you know,

Speaker 1 the baseline here.

Speaker 1 In the royal family. Yeah, he's known as the guy who did that.
It's him and Megan Markle. They're the two most disgusting people on the planet.

Speaker 1 Well, this guy replies and goes, wasn't Suits actually filmed in Toronto?

Speaker 1 That's one of Prince Andrew's defining traits is his...

Speaker 1 alleged love for pedophilia. That and his quick wit.
Those are the two things everyone knows about Prince Andrew. And I'm counting on that quick wit when we launch his new HBO program.

Speaker 1 I mean, can you... His one-hour stand-up special.
Spotify has signed a podcast deal.

Speaker 1 No, no, yeah. A stand-up special in the round.
Fucking

Speaker 1 Dane Cook style. Dane Cook.
Dane Cook Circle with Prince Andrew. He's like,

Speaker 1 high-energy, fucking marching around the outside of the stage, telling it like it is.

Speaker 1 He's trying to do crowd work, but everyone just keeps bringing up the pedophilia stuff.

Speaker 1 He's like, anybody else? You're a pedophilia.

Speaker 1 Where do you work, sir? Epstein Island. All right, next guy.

Speaker 1 I do the logs at Little St. James.
Okay, do we have anybody here?

Speaker 1 This guy, finally,

Speaker 1 just a couple more things here. This is a book called The Palace Papers by Tina Brown.

Speaker 1 I just have a really horrible Prince Andrew joke that I need to get out of my head, so it doesn't haunt me.

Speaker 1 He's doing his vicious circle, and there's a guy with his daughter, and he just points to them, and he goes, How long have you guys been dating?

Speaker 1 Well, this person gives it one star. This is a book about the royal family.
It's called The Palace Papers, and

Speaker 1 this person says,

Speaker 1 I read one sentence and I won't read anymore because it told me there was zero rigorous research done to get the facts.

Speaker 1 The author's still telling the story how Miss Markle, by her very own single hand, changed a commercial?

Speaker 1 No, it was a class assignment and a class effort, and she was one student who wrote one letter amongst the class group as a group assignment.

Speaker 1 Yet the author tells it like Miss Markle scored some sort of victory for women at a tender age. Utter BS.
Now what do I do with this trash book?

Speaker 1 Dude, I guess she does.

Speaker 1 Toss it into the garbage, donate it. I mean, you got a few different options.

Speaker 1 So did

Speaker 1 they read past the first word? They were saying like symbolically that the first sentence, but they did, because they read the thing about the Megan Markle thing, right?

Speaker 1 Or about her doing doing the

Speaker 1 mentioned something. They cited something from the book.
So

Speaker 1 they did read the book or they didn't?

Speaker 1 They read one sentence. Okay.
I also, I feel like these people just need to be shown a word cloud of like their keyboard activity. Just like

Speaker 1 the fucking M-A-R keys on their keyboard are just like worn thin. It's the crazy times you talk for typing this name out.
You don't ever have to think.

Speaker 1 So finally, this is a podcast called The Royal Report with Jack Royston. It's a Newsweek podcast.

Speaker 1 This guy might have stepped in it. He might have messed up and talked about something he shouldn't have in it.
But the first review is:

Speaker 1 we're due for an update. A lot has been going on, and I like your podcast.
You don't horse around too much or blast obnoxious music. Chop, chop.

Speaker 1 Nobody likes horsing around on a podcast. Chop, chop.
Fuck. And when somebody horses around on a podcast, that's the worst.
Chop, chop, bring out an episode.

Speaker 1 But I feel like, I do feel like

Speaker 1 sometimes on the Prince Andrew show,

Speaker 1 because he'd have a podcast as well.

Speaker 1 I feel like there would be parts where it would be pretty serious, but I think there would be some parts where you would just be goofing around and doing kind of riffs and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 Tony Hinchcliffe on that. Prince Andrew experience.

Speaker 1 He would have Joe Rogan on his podcast. Yeah, he'd have the 250 Assassins.
That's what he'd be working his way through.

Speaker 1 He'd have Rogan on because if you want to get a good riff going on a podcast, there's only one Rogan riff.

Speaker 1 They call him Riffkin, Joe Rifkin, sometimes because of his incredible ability to riff and understand humor and understand what humor is, what is funny.

Speaker 1 Here's where the guy is an absolute sniper with a slow, whoa, that's his top riff. Whoa, really? That's

Speaker 1 he's killing it on that, on that.

Speaker 1 Do you have Eli now as a stand-up person? Have you? Have you made it to the mothership?

Speaker 1 The mothership, I don't think, would have me. I don't do a shit.
I barely do stand-up anymore. I barely do it anymore.
So maybe you and I, then, once the borders open back up,

Speaker 1 because I'm interested, I'm trying to get a crew together to go on, get a Winnebago and go to Kill Tony.

Speaker 1 So I'm trying to get a crew together, sort of Ocean's 11 style of comedians that have been on the podcast to go down in a Winnebago and put our name in the bucket for Kill Tony. So the Shaggin Wagon.

Speaker 1 Everybody, you know, clamber in. We're going to head cross-country.
Oh,

Speaker 1 pilgrimage to the mothership, which I do consider a bit of a comedy mecca. I don't know if you guys have heard that.
That is, you can say whatever you want there.

Speaker 1 Even some guys will say the N-word, I heard. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how you heard.

Speaker 1 I heard Ron White says it in the green room. I shouldn't be saying this on main episodes, really.

Speaker 1 Fuck is this is where the guy made a mistake. I told you this guy made a mistake.

Speaker 1 Why is it every time I go to listen to this podcast about the British royal family, you're always giving your incorrect commentary on U.S. politics? Stay in your own lane.

Speaker 1 You have no idea what you're talking about. Focus on the actual royal family and enough about the two grifters who left the royal family.

Speaker 1 This is supposed to be a podcast about the actual royal family. Oh, this is somebody who's just like, well, they don't want to be part of the royal family anymore.
And guess what?

Speaker 1 You give up your privileges of being discussed on royal family podcasts. And also that he said something about Trump.
It's very obvious because those are the people that can't handle hearing anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. We encounter that sometimes, definitely.

Speaker 1 In the inner, we, the South Park guys, were really livid about the Trump episode, where they're just like, this show is fucking ridiculous now. And it's like, it's very obvious.

Speaker 1 They're just angry about them making fun of Trump. I wish this episode was coming out.

Speaker 1 Go back three weeks and listen to the bonus episode where we read a lot of reviews of the television show Real Rob,

Speaker 1 which we're going to be doing. There's an interconnectedness of like flipping with the podcast from this to the bonus, like House of Leaves.
You got to fucking go through all the different bonuses.

Speaker 1 It does sound like we made an effort to talk about the pat. We didn't do that.
We never had a conversation about it. It just came up.
What did?

Speaker 1 The Patreon.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. It sounds like we're talking again about the Patreon.
Now it really seems like now we're like, now they're like, holy shit, guys, dial it back a little bit.

Speaker 1 I know we mentioned you guys not promoting the Patreon and stuff, but dial it back. This is pathetic.

Speaker 1 Finally, this is a podcast called British Royal Fanatic Podcast, and this review I just really like. Five stars.

Speaker 1 I just found your podcast, and I love it. I read all things Royal Family, but here in Colorado, everyone thinks I'm stupid for being interested.

Speaker 1 So I'm glad to hear your discussions, which are really thoughtfully put together and your desire to be balanced in your coverage. Thanks.
This person has been called stupid a million times, right?

Speaker 1 They're going to, and they're like, I have parasocially latched onto you in an incredible way. So I will be showing up at your door soon.

Speaker 1 And I will hate you. I will give you a one-star review in six weeks.

Speaker 1 I was also thinking that other guy, he shouldn't be careful because saying chop chop to the royals is actually like a pretty direct threat given history. You're not supposed to sit around them.

Speaker 1 You get tackled.

Speaker 1 I would love to do that. Anyway, that is Royal Family, guys.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey, Lois.

Speaker 1 Hey, Lois.

Speaker 1 Oh, Loki, there's a family guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe, maybe we go. Maybe let's end this episode.
There's a family chap. Let's end this episode.
We'll all talk in our British accents. We'll end it all.
Eli, you can talk British, right?

Speaker 1 And I can go, I got to go vote. So take that, Royal Family.
Oh, you're going going to go, you're going to go vote. And I, what do you got? A Cuomo sticker behind you? Yes.

Speaker 1 Multiple.

Speaker 1 I'm just, I'm on the Cuomo Prince Andrew ticket. You know, I think they could really do a lot of good.

Speaker 1 You're in New York.

Speaker 1 All right. Eli, tell people where to find you.

Speaker 1 Well, we should have just done the British voices. We should have.

Speaker 1 And I feel like Eli, Eli,

Speaker 1 Eli,

Speaker 1 tell people where to find you. If they're looking for a good laugh, where's that way?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 You can find me. You can listen to my podcast, What a Time to Be Live that I do with Kath Barbadora.
I'm Patty Moe, Patrick Monaghan. It comes out every week.

Speaker 1 I got a special up on YouTube called Humble Offering that you can look at. And I stream on Twitch now at twitch.tv slash pig underscore dog.
And then I guess like Blue Sky on Instagram.

Speaker 1 I'm Yahoo Toolbar on Instagram.

Speaker 1 All right,

Speaker 1 we stream on Twitch sometimes too. Just weird.
Not even a show.

Speaker 1 Twitch.tv, because a lot of people have mentioned this as well: that hey, you guys changed the channel of the Twitch and you never told us the new channel and you never tell us if you're streaming or not.

Speaker 1 It's on twitch.tv slash not even a show Sunday nights at five o'clock. And I've started mentioning on Instagram stories if we're going to stream that night.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've also been to twitch.tv slash shroud. That's where you can find Chris.
No, it's we got we got kicked off. Brian refused to change the name of the channel

Speaker 1 from Murder Brian and they suspended the channel three times. And then the final time

Speaker 1 it was a

Speaker 1 red room. They were like, this guy's running a red room on Twitch.
Again, it's complicated because it's registered also under the LLC,

Speaker 1 which is Violence Gang LLC, which causes a lot of problems in my life as well because he's sending me money from Violence Gang LLC. And people, what's going on here?

Speaker 1 And I think is, yeah, I think was really kind of, I guess, a funny joke in the moment. Maybe not long, maybe not long-term, very well thought out.
Vermain,

Speaker 1 you know, we'll see you next week. Goodbye.
Bye.