Episode 200: My First Solo Episode

You stay ready.

I stay ready.

Stay ready.

This is, are we on?

Yeah, we're on.

This is really exciting because I've never done a solo episode on my own podcast.

I've always only had guests on.

So, this is the first time that I'm doing one without an actual guest.

Although, I do have a foil or a sidekick joining me.

I love being a foil.

You're the best foil.

It's better than plastic wrap.

It's much better than plastic wrap.

Her name is Shawnee, and she is the best foil.

Woo!

And the reason why I wanted to do this was actually twofold.

Number one, I want you guys to get to know me personally.

I know that you guys listen to the podcast and I'm hoping that you like it.

If you do or don't, leave me a comment, leave a review.

Let me know what you think, what you like, what you don't like.

I just wanted to have a more of a personal interaction because, like I said, I only always have guests on.

And this is my first time with this solo solo thing.

I'm kind of nervous, uncomfortable, but

I'm going to be bold.

I'm going to be bold and I'm going to do the uncomfortable things and I'm not going to fear the rejection that you may have for me, but

you know, because the only way to get through something or to get over a fear is to go through it.

And if not, just in general, I got to get better at it.

So the best way to get more comfortable is practice, which is what I talk about in my book a lot.

So by the way, Shawni, thank you for coming on.

Thank you so much for having me.

What a delight.

Yes, this is great.

I love that you're my foil.

And, you know, I don't know if you guys follow me on social media or not, but in the last couple months, especially in the last six weeks, probably, I've been doing a lot of different reels talking about my book, Bigger, Better, Boulder.

And Shawnee's been helping me out with like the production of it and like filming it.

And she's been really good because, like I said, I'm not the most comfortable in situations where I have to just like blab or self-promote, which is kind of what this is all about.

Like when you, people like, if you don't know, when you put out a book, you know, people only see the end product.

They see, you know, the

book cover, they see the people promoting the book after the fact.

But all the work or a lot or the majority of the work is actually in the pre-launch.

So the couple months prior to the book going out, there's a lot of legwork and a lot of work just to kind of sell books on pre-order.

Yeah, we're taking a lot of naps in February.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm actually going to take one long nap or like some long vacation because it's been a grind for the last two months.

And so, yeah, so I just wanted to kind of come on here.

And A, that's what happens.

Like, I think a lot of people don't know that because how many people write books in the world?

Not many, right?

I mean, there's a lot of people who do, but a lot of people who don't.

And it's just a grind.

And I just think it's so interesting that people just don't know what they don't know.

So I'm here to kind of peel back the onion and explain and tell you it's a grind.

And

it's the blood, sweat, and tears of the last, you know, couple years that's now coming to fruition now.

And you also wrote the book yourself.

I did.

Which is pretty impressive.

Well, I mean, that's another thing.

A lot of people don't write their own books.

So that's another part of it.

But I mean, that's, that's neither here nor there.

It's the actual promotion and the PR behind the book or the pre-launch, like I was saying, the strategy.

Because the truth of the matter is, like, you could have the greatest book in the world and nobody knows you wrote it if you don't have the proper marketing or strategy or whatever to actually.

get it out there.

Why do you not like self-promoting so much?

I feel like you can promote, you promote other people so well.

Why can't you promote yourself?

You know what I I mean?

I don't know.

It's never been something that I've been like really good at.

I've been really, I am, I think I'm really good at

being someone's other person's cheerleader or like really passionate about someone else's stuff.

But I feel it's kind of like,

I feel like I don't want to, I don't want to promote myself in that because I feel it's cheesy or corny or self-aggrandizing in some way.

And I find that to be like, those are like icky things.

So I'm very mindful of that.

So then I don't do anything.

So this, like I said, this is, this is why this, this is my first solo episode.

And this is why I haven't been like yammering on about the book for so, for the last, you know, few months, except for like now I do a little bit of a 30-second commercial, but in front of the podcast.

Yeah, which is, by the way, fueled by me.

I can't believe Jen has not, I can't believe you've not like used your audience in the way that so many other people use their podcast audiences.

Some of them have like 10-minute intros where they're just talking about like, follow me, leave me a review, do this, that, and the other.

And you don't do that, which I think obviously shows like a lot of integrity for the show, and that you really just want to get into the conversation and like the conversation.

That's what I'm interested in.

I don't really care about doing all that.

Like, I think I miss it.

Maybe I miss to some people an opportunity, but I'm just really doing this podcast.

And why I even decided to do this podcast is because I am genuinely curious about what people do to be productive and what people's habits are, and like how I can benefit and how other people can benefit from gleaming on some knowledge.

If that's really why I started it, it wasn't for the self-aggrandizing or like, look at me, or I don't care about that.

And so there's a contradiction in the fact because, you know,

because of two reasons.

Because I'm extroverted, people automatically assume that I would naturally be better at that stuff, which is completely not.

true.

You could be really extroverted in some ways and then like be kind of more timid in other ways, which I think is me and probably a lot of other people.

And then of course I write a book called Bigger, Better, Bolder, which means, you know, chasing what you want, not settling for what you get.

And then I'm somebody who is much more,

I'm not necessarily a natural self-promoter, but which leads me to

what is being bold, right?

I don't think being bold necessarily means being braggadocious and being super, you know, out there, constantly self-promoting and constantly just being aggressive.

And that's not how what I mean.

I mean,

what I think of what bold is, I think bold is

kind of being more deliberate in what you go for and how your life kind of is curated.

Like the things that you go for, the job that you have, the people that you date,

or in general, like curating your life by design.

So you're in control.

You're taking agency of what you want.

And you don't have to be, like I said, super loud and

annoying in that way.

You can do it in a, you could be someone who's a more of a strong, silent person who can still be able to curate and design your life.

And you get bolder by practice.

I mean, you don't have to be born that way, but you can do little bold moves every single day to get to a place where you're much more comfortable to have the courage to ask for

whatever it is you want.

Yeah.

But I don't understand why you feel like self-promotion, because this is a quality book.

So don't you feel like this brings value to human beings?

Like, why do you feel like it's braggadocious if you're actually pushing something that could benefit people?

Just not that.

It's not about that.

I think it's, um,

I do.

I think it's, listen, I, I use this book as kind of, I'm not talking from a white ivory tower.

I, this book is really about my own experience, how I was able to succeed in certain things or have been successful in certain things.

So I use myself as a really good example of somebody who was not necessarily the most talented or the smartest or the prettiest, but someone who just went after things by asking for it and being bold.

And so I, like I said, I'm, I'm asking people to, I'm not, me not, me not forcing people to buy something that I did is not necessarily me not wanting them to buy it it or read it.

It's just a question of, I just feel a discomfort when it's something that I put together, I wrote, it's very vulnerable.

It's like being very vulnerable.

It's like, here, I put this

book together.

I wrote this book and now it's out there in the world.

I guess it's like a vulnerability that I'm uncomfortable with sometimes.

But I'm trying to get better, which is why we're doing this podcast.

It's crazy because I feel like people see you as someone who's such an amazing speaker.

Like you did your TED Talk and that's what you're honestly a huge part of what you're known for.

And that was obviously a solo TED Talk.

But when you get to know you and you see that you do your podcast, all interviews and everything, and this is your first solo episode, it's just interesting how that dynamic is like is there.

I feel like you should be someone who is so comfortable solo speaking.

But if anything, expressing this kind of stuff is opening up the vulnerability.

And I think that's awesome.

Thank you.

Well, let me tell you this, people, listeners.

Yes, people.

If there's one listener or 20 or maybe 40,

your show gets more than that.

Hold on, I'm just saying, what I want to say is a couple of things that make me uncomfortable is public speaking, which is the irony of a lifetime, which is why,

again, it's like the way you get better at something is through practice and putting yourself in those uncomfortable places.

So when I did this TED Talk, I was super uncomfortable because it wasn't something I was naturally

like comfortable doing standing on a stage and talking.

But

why I'm bringing this up is just because we're not necessarily good at something or because we're scared of something doesn't mean that we shouldn't try doing it or doing it anyway.

Like,

I believe that whatever we're the most scared of is what we should try the most to do.

That means that there's something there, there's a reason why.

And what we need to do is conquer that because I think usually in our heads, we make these things so much more horrible than they really are in real life, right?

Like, whatever we catastrophize, or yeah, catastrophize.

Is that the right right word?

I think so.

It's a great word.

Also braggadocious.

Braggadocious.

It's a great word.

It's a great word.

I have a list of hate being braggadocious and we all catastrophize things in our heads.

And when we actually do them in real life, we're not, it's not never as bad.

So I lead with that.

So when I'm put my, so I put myself in these uncomfortable situations, like I think everybody should if they want to grow and lose that fear, right?

It's like how you, that's how you should do it.

And think what's the worst that can happen?

Like, you're you're not gonna be any worse off from that thing than you were yesterday, but you've got to at least put yourself in that situation to try to get even one percent better.

Yeah, the stuff that you might be might be most scared of and most uncomfortable doing, you might actually be phenomenal at, and it might lead to five million plus views and a whole new career set.

I mean, that's

a TED Talk, you know?

No, it's true, it's a hundred percent true.

Um, so yeah, so anyway, I just like I said, this is my first entree into these solo episodes.

I think I'm going to start doing them more.

I think it's really important to connect with you listeners.

And if there's anything particular that you want us to talk about,

we can start having a two-way kind of open communication where if there's something that you want to talk about or us to talk about, even my foil and myself, Shawnee, leave me a note, leave me a comment.

And that way we could, you know, delve deep into whatever that is.

Shawnee, is there anything you want to talk about?

Yeah, the Facebook group.

I think that would be the perfect segue into asking everyone or letting everyone know that Jen does have an official Facebook group.

We just started it.

It's called the Bold of Directors.

And if you buy her book and read about it, you'll understand the references.

But join the Facebook group.

We'll put the link in the description to this episode and also every episode moving forward.

So you guys can join it and click through from there.

And we're really building a phenomenal community.

People who follow Jen, people who've been tracking her for a while, listen to her podcast, just want to talk about the things that she talks about.

And it's a really cool space.

I want to include something actually, not to cut you off.

No, please.

You know, she did say something that was very important, which is this idea that I talk about in my book, but I think it's important for life.

It's called the bold of directors.

And what that is,

instead of it being the board of directors, the bold of directors is the ideology around...

surrounding yourself with like-minded people who want you to succeed, right?

We are the sum of the five people we surround ourselves with.

So look around and look around the people that are in your life that you're close to and see if those people are serving you or holding you back.

I think that's a really important place to start from because I don't believe that anybody is self-made.

I think everybody needs other people and other things to help you win in life.

And you win by having people who genuinely want you to win around you and that who can help support you to get to wherever it is you're trying to get to.

So

that's why I even started this Facebook group, because I think it's really important that we build a community of people who are like-minded, who have like-mindedness or like-minded, who all want to strive to achieve better in their lives and to grow and to learn from people who they're similar to.

And so.

I always try to assess.

I always try to have some kind of self-awareness, especially around this time of year, right?

We're going into 2023

and

you want to take a self-assessment and

an assessment of what your surroundings are and see if this is something that is serving you or hurting you and act then accordingly and that's why I'm glad that we started this group and if I give you one task to do going into 2023 is take like take that idea and see and look around and see if the people around you are the people that you want to have around you for as your bold of directors because if you are trying to achieve and if you are trying to achieve a goal uh and grow and be better and and chase the life you want not the life you get that's step one absolutely the people that you surround yourself with are are you i mean that that really is if you hang out with really bad people for a set amount of time you're going to turn into those people with those kind of qualities it's kind of like the same thing you ever hang around someone who uses a really interesting slang word?

And the next thing you know, you're starting to pick that word up.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

I started saying pathetic a lot because of you.

If I see like really bad produce, I'm like, this is pathetic.

I'm very particular over the kind of produce I pick.

And if it's not good, I do say it's pathetic.

Look at this orange.

Like no bad lettuce in this house.

Yeah.

Bad lettuce is terrible.

Look at these oranges that just went awry.

Yeah, pathetic.

Pathetic.

It's just absolutely pathetic.

It's absolutely pathetic.

So I think this is a good beginning.

This is a good first solo episode.

What do you think?

Foil.

I think it was amazing.

And he's like wearing an aluminum hat or something.

Like, really completely.

Next episode, we're going to get you one of those.

That's a good idea.

And if you have not pre-ordered my book, Bigger, Better, Boulder, do so now because it's going to be coming out in the next couple days.

Tuesday, December 27th is the

drop date.

So either pre-order it or wait.

But no, don't wait.

But try not to.

Don't wait.

The idea is not to wait, is to actually act, act.

Momentum, momentum.

Things in motion stay in motion.

So have a beautiful day.

Thank you for listening and

goodbye.

Like, follow, subscribe.

Yeah, like, follow, subscribe.