2025 Ep 316 - Most Irrelevant Purchase of the Year

Speaker 1 A listener production.

Speaker 2 Activate your internet. Because the Hey Mission Andy podcast starts in three,

Speaker 2 two.

Speaker 2 Sorry, still buffering.

Speaker 2 One.

Speaker 2 Ahoy to me M.

Speaker 2 Hey Mission. Ass.
Ass.

Speaker 2 I only do it because Andy, just before we started, Andy goes, oh, this is a hard one. I was like, well, I won't waste everyone's time guessing, you know, people that James Bond knows.

Speaker 2 Well, that's what I thought. Isn't that one of the characters in James Bond? I'm not going to say ahoy to my Q, Jack, but I am going to say ahoy to my S, Jack.
Letters of the alphabet.

Speaker 2 There we go. You're right.
I guess it wasn't that hard. No, it's a popular trio.
Ahoy to me N, Andy.

Speaker 2 M-S-N, but they are, it's not Microsoft related. Messenger.

Speaker 2 Football fans would know exactly who this is because they are referred to as an unbelievable attacking trio called MSN, the best of all time, apparently.

Speaker 2 What type of football? Soccer. Oh, ball football.
Ball football.

Speaker 2 Round ball football.

Speaker 2 Round ball football.

Speaker 2 Oh, great.

Speaker 2 Um, Talesando.

Speaker 2 Well, who's the biggest Mini Bafe?

Speaker 2 No, no, like, I would say more famous than him no probably the best Messi yes so it was it was the at Barcelona it was Messi Suarez and Neymar were the all-time attacking duo my time I mean watch to watch them kick the round ball between them

Speaker 2 absolute fellow they were the best at round ball football that I've seen

Speaker 2 ahoy also to Ella who is in Singapore who went tamacheny.com to let us know what she's been up to.

Speaker 1 Ahoy Haim Andy and the little boy Ella here, Kiwi living in Singapore. Hey listen, I'm really glad that Jingle Just is back on the pod.

Speaker 1 It's such a great segment, maybe a little bit too great because I keep finding myself going back to episode 306 to 36 minutes and 5 seconds so that I can listen to Smart Machinery.

Speaker 1 I'm just wondering if we can get a Spotify release on this one.

Speaker 1 Anyway, well I've got the mic. Shout out to my brother Nah who introduced me to the pod and is actually getting married in December.

Speaker 1 Bit of an extreme way to get me to come visit him, but anyway, that's that. Cheers, guys, love the pod.

Speaker 2 On your LR. Jack, would you

Speaker 2 put out Smart Machiner on Spotify? I don't know how you do it. I do have a Spotify page.
Yeah, you've released songs. Oh, I've released.
Yeah, I've got a Smart Machinery. Yeah, I should do it.

Speaker 2 And what's the handle for it so people can find it?

Speaker 3 I think you just search Jack Poe's.

Speaker 2 All right. Yeah, that makes sense.
No, yeah, put it out. Or ask your Smart Machinery.

Speaker 2 That's the joy of the song. Hey, me, you wanted the top of today's pod?

Speaker 2 I would, thanks, guys. And look, look, it's to run a, I mean, this is a bit of a personal one, bit of a one that relates to my household, the Foster Blake household.

Speaker 2 Coming towards the end of the year, we're kind of packing. We're cleaning up.
We went through a big cleanup on the weekend. And I'm like, let's clean up the house.
And I just thought, look, there's...

Speaker 2 We all know this. We all know the problem I have with buying stuff online.
Oh, my gosh. The hard rubber collection outside of your project.
So good for hard rugged. Oh,

Speaker 2 at least you know,

Speaker 2 you are good at putting your hand up and going, hey, I never use that flamethrower dog lead or whatever it is. And I'm going to move that on rather than sport it.

Speaker 2 I'm curious about what flamethrower dog lead would be required. You actually

Speaker 2 incinerate the poos

Speaker 2 straight after it happens.

Speaker 2 Now we turn around and just point, use the laser sight to line it up. Actually, a really good invention, Jack.
No, don't have that.

Speaker 2 Dude, remember I had the flaming wallet where you could open up the wallet and

Speaker 2 I think it was just for flare it was when you open your wallet at a bar like it it there was flames that came out it was a little squirt of something and it like lit it ignited with a flint yeah

Speaker 2 it did soak your money like you did you oh god it's terrible oh you spelled it smelled of lighter fluid

Speaker 2 and there was one incident where my hand quickly quickly and not dangerously caught on fire yeah so not having a go at the makers but you could see why i had to i had to get that from overseas that was not available in australia i'm going to have a small awards ceremony today for the most irrelevant purchases in the blake household the foster blake household

Speaker 2 um good luck it's between myself and my wife

Speaker 2 we'll see who takes out

Speaker 2 let's run through the top five okay and we'll see who takes out um the prestigious awards here jack go for it

Speaker 2 I might do a third person too, so I don't feel as bad. Yeah, good idea.

Speaker 2 Okay, welcome everyone to to the most irrelevant purchases in the foster blake household coming in at number five the winner is hamish blake congratulations hamish with

Speaker 2 a thera gun now not normally an irrelevant purchase but hamish you purchased this because you believe you had lost your other thera gun or left it somewhere then when you bought the new theragon you thought where's a good place to store this and you thought i know under the bed when you put it under the bed you found your old ferra gun making this a truly expensive and irrelevant purchase

Speaker 2 same making model

Speaker 2 you're slightly updating so there is a there is a silver lining all right coming in at number four

Speaker 2 the winner of the number four most irrelevant purchase is

Speaker 2 Hamish Blake.

Speaker 2 Well done.

Speaker 2 Well, congratulations. What was it for, Hamish? You bought not one, but three golf training aids that are the same thing.

Speaker 2 You bought them because you were sure you would lose one, and it would be nice to have one at home and one in your golf bag.

Speaker 2 The training aid is an inflatable ball to put between your arms to keep your arms in the right shape.

Speaker 2 Someone at the driving range showed you that a balloon can be used for the same thing and is more convenient.

Speaker 2 They were right. You did not need three of these custom-made inflatable balls.
Well, well done, well done.

Speaker 2 Coming in,

Speaker 2 coming in at number three, the winner is

Speaker 2 Hamish Blunt. Well done.
Well done.

Speaker 2 Congrats. Woohoo.
Congratulations, Hamish. This is for a recent purchase from the other week.
It's the brand new Oakley Meta sunglasses.

Speaker 2 These haven't arrived yet, but since you don't use the meta ray-bands that you do own and have owned for a year, this was a very curious choice to also buy. Now, the Oakley models with AI in them.

Speaker 2 Possible factor you bought it is because a guy on the golf course told you you can ask your glasses how far it is to the hole. And simply by using the camera on board, your glasses can tell you.

Speaker 2 You were sold on that fact and you immediately bought a pair. That fact later turned out to be not true.
The glasses

Speaker 2 cannot do that. That is not a feature of the glasses.
And he was just saying something, I guess, for the fun of it.

Speaker 2 Congratulations. Congratulations, Ainich, and enjoy your new glasses.
All right.

Speaker 2 Jumping in at number two. Yes.
Number two on the Blake family's most irrelevant purchase list, the winner is

Speaker 2 Hamish Blake. Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 He's my favorite family. He's now within striking distance of a clean, sweet baby.
Is he cleaning up? Number two. Most irrelevant purchase was a stretching stick.

Speaker 2 This six foot long stick, an incredible piece of equipment, was marketed to you as an essential piece of mobility equipment.

Speaker 2 It would help free up your back, your hips, any number of joints across your body if you owned this special stick to lean on while you stretched. The stick came in four pieces.

Speaker 2 You had to screw them together.

Speaker 2 After you screwed them together and set them up on a yoga mat in the garage to start doing some stretching, you couldn't help but notice the broom stick handle that was also in the garage.

Speaker 2 Curious as if to whether the broom handle provided the same benefits as the four-piece stick you'd bought, you tried the broom handle. It was the same.

Speaker 2 You did not need a four-piece screwable

Speaker 2 stick.

Speaker 2 You did not need to own that. Well, now that you do, it's also quite heavy and a real nuisance.
Now the big one.

Speaker 2 Ladies and gentlemen, if you've stuck around this long, it's been a long ceremony, but this is what we're in it for.

Speaker 2 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the big one. The number one most irrelevant purchase of the Blake family household this year goes to

Speaker 2 Zoe Foster on the beaten

Speaker 2 queen! Oh my god,

Speaker 2 crazy seams! Wow, that is crazy!

Speaker 2 All right, congratulations, Zoe, making her debut on the list and taking top spot.

Speaker 2 The gold award for useless purchases does go to Zoe for a device she bought.

Speaker 2 that is best described as kind of a chin brace that is designed for people who are looking at their phone too much so they can rest their chin on it and not get neck pain.

Speaker 2 Rather than avoiding your phone, simply put your chin rest on and scroll away.

Speaker 2 Despite the invention, having a somewhat practical use, the chin rest has been observed to be used zero times in the house, making this year's grand winner. Congratulations.
Congratulations, Zoe.

Speaker 2 That

Speaker 2 bummer I can get them all.

Speaker 2 Look, against a formidable opponent in Amish, you've got to be proud of Zoe to be able to stand up and take one out this year.

Speaker 2 Honorable mention for Zoe too. She, because I was just like, mate, what is this? She's like, oh, so but you wouldn't see that.
I was like, this has, and I was like, in this house, this is crazy.

Speaker 2 This has to be the worst thing that's been bought in this house. And she's like, well, I don't know what you're up to.
I don't know what's in all your packages.

Speaker 2 I was like, look, there have been some stinkers. There have been some stinkers on my side.
The chin, the chin rest is amazing. That's a peach.
Well done, Dave.

Speaker 2 You might be getting it for Christmas.

Speaker 2 It may be the last time before the government mandated break kicks in, Ham, but power moves keep flooding at HamishNady.com. 50% fall to your side, 50% four to mine.

Speaker 2 So we've got to reveal them to each other. Let's do it.

Speaker 2 Shall we kick it off? Go for it. From Maddie Finn.
On you, Maddie. Or do you?

Speaker 2 Works best when in a big group. When a new person comes to join the table, say in front of everyone, oh, you're up to something.

Speaker 2 Immediately, this puts them on the defensive and they deny it, but everyone's very wary of them for the rest of the day.

Speaker 2 And nothing screams that someone's up to something like saying, I'm not up to anything.

Speaker 2 It's a good move.

Speaker 2 Blake Dylan. Ahoy to you, Blake.
Demeaning power move used against him.

Speaker 2 These are often some of the best ones because this is from the field and you go, okay, that was well played by this guy. Blake was selling some shoes on Facebook Marketplace.

Speaker 2 The buyer comes to the house and is

Speaker 2 keeping Blake updated with arrival times. Like, I'll be there in 10, I'll be there in 5, etc.
When he gets to Blake's house, he hits me with an I'm here.

Speaker 2 I go to the front door, says Blake, and he's not there, but sitting in the car waiting as if I was a drive-thru. I'm barefoot in a singleton-footy shorts, shorts and it's pissing down with rain.

Speaker 2 Stood at the doorway looking at him. He looked at me.
No one moved until I paved and I took the shoes to his window. Massive walk of shame back into the house.

Speaker 2 Would you have already paid for them? I'm interested in that transaction there.

Speaker 2 When you're selling something on marketplace, I know you've done it a few times.

Speaker 2 You know, like you just, you always, you're like, maybe this time it'll be different.

Speaker 2 Every time you go to marketplace, maybe this time it'll be a good trans this is, I'll get a good price and it'll be a pleasant experience but when you go into the sale on marketplace your hopes are high for big money and a fast transaction and then you just everyone you just get smashed on price there's always conditions on having to go so by the time you're at the guys that do you're just like mate just take the shoes like i'm so over this i've had the worst time doing this it's just that one final bit of power from the vibe i mentioned on the pod where that guy bought the dining table chairs from me and there's kind of 12 of them yeah

Speaker 2 and rocks up

Speaker 2 by himself by himself he goes oh sorry the kid seats are in the car i'm gonna have to do multiple drops where do you live he lived 40 minutes away i'm like no

Speaker 2 no he's like oh can you help me get a few in here i can maybe get it down to two trips not three i was like i'm not waiting here for the next four hours for you to go back that is the thing that facebook marketplace means i know we've got to move on but it's that thing going no no I'm wholesaling this item.

Speaker 2 I'm not a retail experience. I don't owe you customer service.
I'm not here to spend half a day with you facilitating the transaction. This is a wholesale experience.

Speaker 2 You just get the goods and you're expected to deal with them after this. And I had another lady come from a filing cabinet, which is on wheels.
And she said,

Speaker 2 that's right. She had to wheel it home.
She put the train here. And I was like, okay, well, there's the filing cabinet.
Well, she pushed it home. She said, what do you propose? I do.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, you get an Uber. It's because that'd be a bit much.
And I was like, well, it's on wheels. And then she just.
wheeled it back to the train station.

Speaker 2 You don't have to buy the ticket. Just take it to the train.
But at some point it's on the person.

Speaker 2 That's the buyer's fault. At all points.
At all points.

Speaker 2 This is from Ben Bachman in Norway. Power move.
When emailing a resume or CV for a job, name the file on your resume resume-english version.

Speaker 2 It implies you're fluent in multiple languages. Really good.
Really good.

Speaker 2 This is from Dixon in the UK.

Speaker 2 Can we use in a group setting or one-on-one? Ask someone what they're currently reading. When they answer, no matter what the book, you reply with, still?

Speaker 2 Love it. This is from Corey Bernston.

Speaker 2 I'm not sure whether this is

Speaker 2 one or not, but you guys can be the judge. Best used at any social setting, usually between males.

Speaker 2 I suggest when you first meet your girlfriend's father for the first time,

Speaker 2 after shaking someone's hand, immediately sniff your hand, raise your eyebrows and go, hmm, interesting.

Speaker 2 It's a bold move. It's a bold move for her dad.

Speaker 2 All right, time for one more. This is from Jordan.
Jordan Salmon works best for males for reasons that'll become apparent.

Speaker 2 You see a male colleague that's sporting a new haircut, compliment them by saying, wow, nice pixie cut.

Speaker 2 This gives the impression that they have accidentally gone and got a hairstyle very popular with women.

Speaker 2 Guys, something very special happened to me a few days ago.

Speaker 2 I discovered something about myself and I didn't become a new person. I guess it was revealed to me what I was.
I'll paint the picture for you.

Speaker 2 Near the kids' school, they're like assembly hall, right? Is sort of semi-connected to it. It's part of a church.
There's a church next door. Not part of the school, but it's next door.

Speaker 2 Went to one of the kids' assemblies, was kneeling around outside. And a lady who at first I thought was another school parent came up, but realized she wasn't sort of a lady came up.

Speaker 2 She was quite flustered and she was a little, little older, but kind of like grabbed my arm, was like a little bit unsteady on her feet and said, can you please help me? I said, yeah, what's going on?

Speaker 2 Of course, how are you going? She said,

Speaker 2 I really need your help. She said, I'm sorry.
I've actually just come out of hospital.

Speaker 2 I'm okay, but I've just had treatment. I'm a little bit woozy.
I'm a little bit weak on my feet. And I've dropped a box that I need to get to the vicar of the church, a wooden box.

Speaker 2 I put it on his doorstep, but I'm worried it's going to rain. But around the back, there's a bit undercover, but it's up heaps of stairs.
And like I said, I've just come out of hospital.

Speaker 2 I don't think I can do the stairs. I was like, oh, absolutely.
Don't worry about it. I'm so sorry.
You're busy. And I was in golf gear, but I

Speaker 2 said,

Speaker 2 no, Absil, of course I can help. You know, come up here.
Show me where the box is. Shows the box to us.
Shows me the box and it's like, you know, can you take her on the side? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 Come with me. Show me the stairs.
And you trusted this woman. Andy, it's like something out of a British

Speaker 2 countryside movie. Like she's dropping a box off of the vicar.

Speaker 2 But this wasn't a drug deal i'd walked into yeah heck of a drug deal if it was good way to do it though make it as innocent as possible yeah i mean again i believed her character of an older woman that had just come out of hospital i mean she was having trouble walking if it look if it was a bikey in prosthetics well done well done

Speaker 2 but i believe okay here she was she was doing some work for the church so she grabs my arm and i like you know box goes to the vicar's door come back down and she's like oh thank you much.

Speaker 2 Um, she's like, I'll let you go. I said, No, no, let me walk you back to the car because she was a little bit unsteady on her feet, needed the arm.

Speaker 2 So, as we're walking back to her car, she explains that she does work for the church. I said, That's lovely.
And she said, I just was so worried that I couldn't get the box.

Speaker 2 It was going to get rained on, the box would get ruined. It was some pamphlets or something.
And she said, And I actually, I prayed, I prayed for help, and then there you were. You were a miracle.

Speaker 2 No, Jack, I'm an angel, but I can I can see the confusion. I can see the confusion.

Speaker 2 Miracles a lot. Miracles a lot.

Speaker 2 An angel is about

Speaker 2 too much as well.

Speaker 2 No, it's not, Ando. It is.
Here, I've been thinking about this, and here's how it works. I'm not religious.
I'm not of a particular religion.

Speaker 2 I welcome and celebrate all faiths, but personally, I'm not religious. I would say I've got a spiritual side to me, but I'm not religious.
And that was the curious part.

Speaker 2 She was, this was a Catholic church. So she's obviously prayed to the Catholic God.

Speaker 2 god and what fascinates me about what's clearly going on here is why would god use me why would that god use me a non-religious person

Speaker 2 what it probably means and again i'm brand new to this so i'm going to get something wrong but what it probably means is i'm some kind of freelance angel so depending on what faith you are if you pray to god if you you know your whatever your belief system is yeah yeah be you muslim be you hindu be you jewish you pray and if i'm nearby and i'm the most available

Speaker 2 he god will activate me as a one-off as a freelance vessel of his i don't know i mean i think he's a servant i think you have to do

Speaker 2 what an angel is made of than divine servants you idiot you're not divine

Speaker 2 and i'm also easily manipulated

Speaker 2 because you don't have a faith not saying full-time not saying full-time not saying i've got wings and a halo not saying i can fly i'm saying i'm a casual no i think you have to do do at least two different religions before you can say you're a freelancer across all who knows.

Speaker 2 I might have actually done other things that I've done good deeds and it wasn't revealed to me that it was

Speaker 2 activated through prayer.

Speaker 2 I've probably done other stuff and I didn't know.

Speaker 2 I didn't know I was activated through prayer on the other times. Here's the way I look at it.

Speaker 2 You know, sometimes you see like delivery drivers who do work for Rubert, but they also work for Menu Log and

Speaker 2 delivery. That's whatever God's calling.
Spiritually, that's what I just whichever God activates me, I will do. And, you know, I don't know.
Again, I don't know the system of how.

Speaker 2 Well, what did you say to finish the conversation with it? Because often when you in, whenever you see movies or TV shows, the angel says something quite profound as they leave.

Speaker 2 Couldn't hear it over all the trumpets and me floating slowly off up to the sky.

Speaker 2 Ando,

Speaker 2 you recently came back from a very pleasant trip to China, where the entire country's efficiency and organization deeply soothed your mind. Oh, absolutely.
This is the

Speaker 2 future. Sign me up because there's zero spillage and zero wastage.
Not all of us can live that way.

Speaker 2 And still, in life, there are many, many examples of things that do not adhere to the principles of order and efficiency you experience in China. And that is why we do this.

Speaker 2 Everything is neat and practical

Speaker 2 because that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy.

Speaker 2 All right. They are, they never stop, Ando.
The world, I mean, that's one of the laws, I think, in science. One of the laws is a thing called the law of entropy, which is chaos is expanding.

Speaker 2 The universe is not getting more ordered. It's getting more chaotic.
So this segment will never stop.

Speaker 2 Bailey. Bailey joins us with a great upset, Andy.

Speaker 2 You've proved that living with Haim for 25 years or whatever has proved that

Speaker 2 you ways to be fast and loose. It does not quieten down.
Bailey, ahoy to you.

Speaker 4 Ahoy, boys. Gusto to you.

Speaker 2 And gusto to you, Bailey, sir. What have you got to upset, Andy?

Speaker 4 Well, recently I had a globe go out in our bathroom. And so the next day I did the responsible thing and went to Buddings to get a new one.

Speaker 2 Oh, you didn't go to your globe box within the cupboard? No? No.

Speaker 2 Not everyone's fully

Speaker 2 for a disaster. Must be very nice to have so many globes on tap.

Speaker 4 But yeah, anyway, when I was there, I didn't really think too much about colors and styles or anything. I just grabbed one that sort of looked like it would be worth the globe I need.

Speaker 4 And when I installed it at home, I realized I've put in a cool white globe when the existing light is warm white. So now I've got one warm light globe and one cool light.

Speaker 2 Maybe giving you a slightly warm voice. You can mix temperatures now.

Speaker 2 That actually makes me shudder.

Speaker 2 Does it really? Yeah, I don't, I really, I mean, the cool light I don't like at all.

Speaker 2 Yes,

Speaker 2 Carly outside, give me a big, big shake of the head as well. No, Beck would immediately have me change that, but I'd be changing it myself.
I wouldn't have made the mistake in the first place, but

Speaker 2 if the company had accidentally put the wrong one in the box or something,

Speaker 2 he'd send it back to the package. The globe aisle at Bunnings just gives me just wonderful memories.
Anytime I'm in there and I've been sent by Zoe,

Speaker 2 it will be me going, oh, God, was it the screw or was it the push?

Speaker 2 And then I'll go,

Speaker 2 I don't feel like there are any screws in the house. I think they're all pushed these days, aren't they? I think we're phasing out the screw globe and then I'll buy them.

Speaker 2 It's always the wrong one when I

Speaker 2 take it on. Thanks, Bailey.

Speaker 2 Dean, Dean, Dean, ahoy to you, Dean.

Speaker 4 Ahoy, fellas, and the woodle widdle boy. Happy birthday, Ando, and commiserations on the IP, mate.

Speaker 2 He'll bounce back. Well, he can't bounce back, but thank you for having received.

Speaker 2 You should see it.

Speaker 2 You don't want to be embarrassed a third time. Dean, take us through what you've got to upset Ando.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so my mum wanted to put a carpet runner down the hallway.

Speaker 4 And instead of going out to buy a proper one, must be nice, she used a rug that she already had that was nearly half a meter wider than the hallway.

Speaker 2 In the hallway. Okay.

Speaker 4 So for nearly six months, we just had it rolled up.

Speaker 4 So just rolled the edge of it up and it'd be underneath the rug sometimes oh absolutely sometimes it's luxurious to have such a yeah such a surplus of rug isn't that a nice feeling we're overrugged fantastic we're overrugged in the hallway it's just nice to live it up yeah great how long uh six months it was there for um sometimes look to make it better it's sometimes even go in front of a doorway that entered into the hall right um and we just as we walked through we'd just shift it if it needed to be shifted it wasn't okay whatever thanks very much hey chloe ahoy to you ahoy gentlemen chloe try and upset me so when i do my dishes i rinse my dishes before i put them in the dishwasher thank you and i always have the strainer there to catch the food debris um like in the plug in the sinkhole the plug hole

Speaker 4 in the plug hole yes yeah and then instead of turning 45 degrees and tapping the strainer in the bin i basically just tap it straight down the plug hole and then just push whoosh push it squidge it through wash it down with water and i just put everything down that i captured Yep.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, I've been,

Speaker 2 look, I am a take the plug out and give it a little tap. But if there's, you know, bits that aren't going down, I have done what you've done, Chloe.
I'm very good.

Speaker 2 I'm very good at squashing food through with my fingers.

Speaker 2 That's one of my skills because,

Speaker 2 and it annoys me every day. This upsets Haim.
This is one of the few things that upsets Haim. I do take the strainer out and tap it in the sink.

Speaker 2 And if my wife is ever around, I always make a habit of turning to her and going, gee, it would have been great to have the incincorator. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because this is the one thing I tried to get included in our house's renovation. I was overruled for some reason to do with shelving or drawer space.
And I've put two in my house.

Speaker 2 Which would only cover 10% of the sinks from what I've seen from the floorboard.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Chloe. Haley, ahoy to you.
Ahoy, Ando. What have you got for upset me?

Speaker 4 Well, so a while ago, I had to print an iron-on t-shirt transfer on my printer

Speaker 4 and spent ages trying to set the printer up to print on the transfer paper because you've got to print it with the special settings so that it comes out really slowly and it doesn't smudge and that it comes out like mirror image.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 4 it's been...

Speaker 4 I reckon about a year and a half and I simply do not have time to figure out how to change it back because there's like the settings in the Apple menu, then there's like in the Canon software or the program I was using or the printer.

Speaker 4 So every time I print, I forget that that's what's happened. I wait ages, the print starts to come out.
Then I'm like, oh yeah, that's right. It's coming out backwards.
So I just cancel the print.

Speaker 4 Then I go into my computer and I just print in mirror image because

Speaker 4 quick, quick, quick, yeah, quick math. Quick print.
Mirror image plus

Speaker 4 mirror image equals perfection. And so they just cancel each other out of the printing every time.

Speaker 2 I hate this so much. Perfect every time, Ando.

Speaker 2 No one, when you do a deep dive on settings, because you're usually like on Chat GPT or something, and it's like going, now go into advanced, now go into presets.

Speaker 2 Like you're never going back in there and undoing that. Well, you know.

Speaker 4 No, plus, if I ever have to print an iron on transfer again, I'm saving myself time again.

Speaker 2 You are ready. You're ready to print t-shirts at the drop of a hat.
It's usually the worst one we've had today for me. Ali, ahoy to you.

Speaker 5 Ahoy, boys.

Speaker 2 Ali, you are joining us from the UK, so just triple points already for upsetting Andy from a different hemisphere.

Speaker 2 Where bads are you, Ali?

Speaker 5 I'm in Scotland.

Speaker 2 Awesome. Whereabouts in Scotland? Edinburgh? Oh, not far from that.
Some great golf courses.

Speaker 2 Yeah, very nice golf courses. No, no, let's steer the conversation away from things that please Andy and take it to things that upset him.
Ali, what have you got?

Speaker 5 So I used to know a guy who, when he'd make a cup of tea, you know, he'd take his tea bag out, put his milk and sugar in, and then rather than waste time getting the teaspoon out, he'd just take his glasses off, use one arm of the glasses to give it a stir, then he'd just whack his glasses back on and he's good to go.

Speaker 2 did he

Speaker 2 lick did he lick the glass before putting the arm like the arm sometimes he just give it a shake and put them back on sometimes they just went straight back on i suppose when you're jack's making a face and i think it's because you're thinking about behind someone's ears aren't you jacking sanitary place sanitary and then and then when he's putting them back on he's making it worse back there whatever is already going on he's only making it worse

Speaker 2 to have milk scum behind your ears

Speaker 2 but i do love the ingenuity of it all. It's only you.
Because it's like a lot of people think glasses are a one-use tool.

Speaker 2 So to come up to go, hang on, no, no, I'm walking around all day with two spoons on my head.

Speaker 2 You just fail to see it. You just have more got it wrong.
You probably got it wrong. You're just, what do you use glasses for? Just for the lookings.

Speaker 2 Ali.

Speaker 2 Weirdly, I don't hate it.

Speaker 2 That's the strange thing about upset, Andy, is someone's found life efficiency.

Speaker 2 Ali, thank you for getting up and sharing though. No worries.

Speaker 2 Thanks, mate. Enjoy the cold government-mandated break over there.

Speaker 2 Hey, at the start of the show, we often hear from listeners telling us what they've been up to.

Speaker 2 They upload their audio at heymachini.com. Especially hard because of the rigmarole involved in getting that audio onto that website, considering the prevalence and easier technology.

Speaker 2 So we really do appreciate it. It's very easy.

Speaker 2 Nick sent in last week his message about his friend Matt, who plays frisbee golf or disc golf, as they call it overseas, and was asking whether we could refer to our golf, we play, as ball golf.

Speaker 2 So it's really clear kind of how they went with ice hockey and field hockey. I immediately told a story about golf and forgot to reference it as ball golf.

Speaker 2 And I need to apologise for that because we slipped our mind quickly. We put a flag in the story.
But that's how we'll be

Speaker 2 behind this call. I think because I was so fascinated by the story you were telling, which was Hawg's, you know, not taking any underpans on the golf trip, ball golf trip.
Ball golf trip.

Speaker 2 And, you know, we just got lost in Hawg's world.

Speaker 2 That just shows how powerful the marketing of ball golf has been since its invention in Scotland, how many hundreds of years ago was it, Andrew? I don't know. You probably know.

Speaker 2 200 years ago, whatever it was. I think so about that.
They have brainwashed us into calling ball golf just golf. And we, you know, we took it on the chimney.
We're like, yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 We actually made a pledge and we went back to just calling it golf, which is insensitive to all the the varieties of golf that are out there.

Speaker 2 And then we jump on Google and then there's every golf course in Australia

Speaker 2 just says, you know, something public golf course. It might be the Waterford Valley public golf course.
And we're like, well, what type of golf? It's

Speaker 2 all golf.

Speaker 2 You mean ball golf? I bet you mean ball golf. It's really.
But you arrogantly assume the world marches to the beat of that drum. And again, it's a...
it's it comes from the top.

Speaker 2 It comes from the big ball golf, you know,

Speaker 2 industrial complex.

Speaker 2 And so we thought it's incumbent on us to fly this flag for those that want to distinguish Frisbee Golf from Ball Golf. And how do you make change, Ando? How do you make change?

Speaker 2 You make it at a big top level? No. You make it at a grassroots level.

Speaker 2 And you make it by calling the nest, the hive of ball golf, which is ball golf courses, specifically their pro shop who handle all the bookings.

Speaker 2 We thought today, do we just randomly select a couple of ball golf courses?

Speaker 2 Each call one.

Speaker 2 call one and we you know have to start now from the standpoint that there are two golfs it's very confusing that they're not putting it in the name of their company and their golf course doesn't and they're gonna get a lot more calls like this so we're really just warming up the front line we'll start with yarrabend public golf course don't know which whether it's ball golf or frisbee golf it doesn't say here

Speaker 2 you assume uh looking at the website that there are some giveaways that it's ball golf but that is that's that's only because we know the sport of ball golf so well that we're able to make that.

Speaker 2 If you're a beginner, you wouldn't know that. We know what kind of golf they play.
Jack, I pop the number in. Here we go.
Yeah, we'll see if we can write this wrong.

Speaker 3 Yarrabend golf. Tom speaking.

Speaker 2 Hey, Tom, it's Devin here, mate. How are you?

Speaker 3 I'm good. How are you?

Speaker 2 Yeah, good. Is that Yarraben public golf course? Yep.
Yeah, what kind of golf?

Speaker 3 Sorry?

Speaker 2 Just wondering what type of golf that you offer there.

Speaker 2 It doesn't say in the name of your, it just says public golf course. So just what type of golf?

Speaker 3 We just have an 18-hole golf course.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but what type of driving range or mini golf?

Speaker 3 What do you mean what type?

Speaker 2 Well, is it ball golf or is it frisbee golf?

Speaker 3 It's normal golf

Speaker 2 with clubs.

Speaker 3 No frisbee golf here.

Speaker 2 All right, so again, I don't think you can distinguish it as in normal golf. There's obviously ball golf and then

Speaker 3 the regular,

Speaker 3 I mean the

Speaker 3 very old golf with clubs and small bowls with temples on it.

Speaker 2 It's like ball golf.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I mean, well, then the soccer, the soccer golf is also a ball golf, I suppose, if you're

Speaker 2 going to go that way.

Speaker 3 But yeah,

Speaker 3 we're just a normal, old school, normal golf course. No frisbees involved.

Speaker 2 Right. I just don't think you can call it normal because there's obviously lots of different golfs now.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yep.

Speaker 2 So your small ball golf.

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 2 Little white ball golf. Thank you.
That's great.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I might pop past another game. I'll ring you back.

Speaker 3 Okay, no worries. Bye.

Speaker 2 Bye.

Speaker 2 Little white ball golf is being more descriptive. He does get a good point with soccer golf, does he? I love that that's trying to pretend that

Speaker 2 that's why he's not calling it ball golf

Speaker 2 out of respect to soccer golf. Okay, well, at least they are understanding it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's keep going. Okay, next one is Brighton Public Golf Course.
Here we go. In your hands, this one, Em.

Speaker 2 Good afternoon, Brighton Golf Course.

Speaker 3 This is Stephan Sweeping.

Speaker 2 Good afternoon, Stephan. This is Marshall.
How are you? I'm good. How are you? Very good.

Speaker 2 I wonder if you can help me. I am getting into the game, but

Speaker 2 I'm brand new to the game, in fact. But I understand it's quite common knowledge that there's two types of golf.
What kind of golf course are you?

Speaker 3 So we are a public golf course.

Speaker 2 We allow bookings for everyone from.

Speaker 2 But bookings for what? For which game? Oh, for golf, we offer 18-hole course.

Speaker 2 But what kind of golf?

Speaker 3 Like 18-hole golf, yes.

Speaker 2 Yes, I

Speaker 2 maybe I'm not making myself clear.

Speaker 2 What word comes before the golf you play?

Speaker 3 I'm sorry, I'm trying to understand.

Speaker 2 No, because there's two kinds of golf, as I understand it. There's the you throw the discs around, sometimes called frisbee golf or frolf, and then there's ball golf.
Oh, okay, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you what is are you a frisbee golf course?

Speaker 3 We're not a frisbee golf course.

Speaker 2 Are you a ball golf course?

Speaker 2 Well, ball golf course, yes.

Speaker 3 Like, we play with ball and clubs.

Speaker 2 Yes. Oh, no.
Well, that's the thing. I get, I'm interested in getting some ball golf clubs.
Because I have a friend that plays ball golf and I thought we could play ball golf together at your course.

Speaker 2 So you do cater for ball golf fans.

Speaker 3 I mean, ball golf as in like you lick the actual clubs and hit the tiny ball, correct?

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, that's that's the golf we do here.

Speaker 2 That's wonderful. Well, that's great news.
Well, I'm gonna tell my friend, his name's Mark, and he plays ball golf. Okay, and we'll get a couple of plays and ball golf with you.

Speaker 3 Oh, it's great to hear.

Speaker 2 We look forward to welcoming you. Thank you, likewise.
Bye-bye.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Marshall. Bye-bye.

Speaker 2 I really just wanted him to say we play ball golf.

Speaker 2 He did. He did.
We're doing our

Speaker 2 ball golf. We're only going to get into the next one.
Thank you. Getting in.

Speaker 2 Getting into.

Speaker 2 You've got to be more specific.

Speaker 2 Got power move by Beck, guys. Well done, man.
And it's psychologically pinned me down so hard that it's still bubbling away.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I need to chat to you guys about it. Do you want the sound effect? No, I don't.
I don't.

Speaker 2 It's not gaslighting, but

Speaker 2 we're getting close. But I know that's what power moves are a bit.

Speaker 2 You know Ham and Jackie know me. I never run out of battery on my phone.
Oh, I wouldn't like it. No, you don't.
You don't.

Speaker 2 For me,

Speaker 2 there are some days where it's just a gift.

Speaker 2 Like I wake up and go, oh, okay, you haven't charged my phone for two days we're going to play single digits today because the the charger in my car the cable in my car adds about one percent every 10 minutes

Speaker 2 there's some bad charging spots yeah yeah my car charger will hold the line but certainly really make no inroads into the battery i treat power supply with the utmost importance.

Speaker 2 I've got, I've got, you know, if I was on Apollo 13, Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, whoever the other guy was, they would have just come back fine and not worry worry about it.

Speaker 2 No problem. And it wasn't because someone was being selfish with the charger.
They just had a bad power supply issue.

Speaker 2 That's a reference. I just don't know what it's about.
I think that's something that's supposed to be supposed.

Speaker 2 Bit broke off during the launch and damaged the outside of shuttle. It's not like

Speaker 2 mission control went, wait a second. Have you guys been playing PlayStation? Yes.

Speaker 2 Well, you know you've only got a certain amount of power. No.

Speaker 2 Sorry, it's days until we get to the moon. Is that music playing in the background? Yeah.
Does that make you smoothie?

Speaker 2 We thought we were allowed to just free time until we got to the moon. We got the kettle on.
Did someone plug the shuttle?

Speaker 2 It's freezing in here. Do you guys bring eater plankers?

Speaker 2 But I understand what you're saying. You would have certainly,

Speaker 2 had it been a charging issue, it wouldn't have happened on your watch. I have charging points around the house.
So whenever I'm doing anything, I know I'm getting souped up up.

Speaker 2 To the point where I like a rock, like a rock climber clipping into different delay points,

Speaker 2 always holding onto a power core.

Speaker 2 And to the point where I wanted to label them because they do go missing,

Speaker 2 but I knew that's one level of psycho that Beck will like, you know, you've got to.

Speaker 2 So you're saying you feel like you've bought a lot of chargers for the relationship.

Speaker 2 I know they should leave a single one and go walk about.

Speaker 2 But it's more about the location. I know that where you're like, that's where I keep my charger.
And then I go to plug it in and it's disappeared.

Speaker 2 disappeared it was you know and it's and it's one of the good ones to be like that's the fast charger i i count on that so you can imagine my frustration when beckon r oversees i'm about to head to china to catch up with the guys so we're splitting ways and i see that she's charging her computer with my charger which is fine it doesn't sound fine

Speaker 2 i go

Speaker 2 to wrap it up because it was where my computer was.

Speaker 2 She's obviously unplugged that while I was out, out, come back, plugged her in. That's fine.
I'm going to wrap that up.

Speaker 2 I'm going to start keeping a tally. And Beck, if you're listening, you keep one to it.
How many times does Andy say that's fine and mean the opposite?

Speaker 2 I grab the charger and say, hey, is this my charger? No, it's my charger. Yep.
And that's fine. That's fine.

Speaker 2 She says,

Speaker 2 No, no, that's my charger, which it's not, Jack.

Speaker 2 It's not. And that's fine.

Speaker 2 And I said, oh, right. Well, have you seen mine about, because I actually haven't seen yours on this trip.

Speaker 2 Yeah. She goes, no, that's mine.
Yeah, I'm not sure. I haven't seen yours.
I'm like, hmm. And then she goes, but take mine.
I'm not as funny about these things as you are.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 She's giving you a, that's fine. Take mine.
That's fine.

Speaker 2 I mean, yes, I am funny about these things, but I can't, I'm like, well, no, if it's, if it's yours, let's find mine. She says, no, take mine.
I'm not weird about these things.

Speaker 2 This is good. This is a master class.
Now he's regretting not labeling those charges.

Speaker 2 Sando, she's only going to live with you so long before she picks up some tactics.

Speaker 2 And so I'm wrapping it wanting to go,

Speaker 2 great. Outcome's great.
I've got a charger. Like in my negotiation brain's going, great, negotiating.
Childish is what you wanted.

Speaker 2 The childish petty part of me that you can't listen to when you're in a marriage, but does still exist, would have if you're in a hotel room would have gone right quite like a hotel pen then drawn a little h on it somewhere and like oh it is mine because i have a little h on mine now that's a big gamble for me because i could easily have been using zoes

Speaker 2 because then if she was like well i've just found yours in your backpack it doesn't have an h on it

Speaker 2 so you must have put mine in your backpack i would that's what i'm saying you shouldn't act on those impulses but immediately the dodgy part of my brain goes let's do that i wish wish I'd consulted you because I 100% would have done that.

Speaker 2 But instead, I packed my charger and thanked her for borrowing hers

Speaker 2 as I went off and embarked on my own trip. Still bubbling, obviously.
This has been very helpful to get it off my chest.

Speaker 2 So there was no investigation when you got home to go find the other charger and prove that it was... Well, Beck has not asked for her charger back since we've been back for some weeks.
So

Speaker 2 I don't want to circle back and go, hmm.

Speaker 2 Ando, you're, you know, getting married would have, would say, odds are next year sometime.

Speaker 2 And, you know, Jack and I are a little bit down the road. Far be it from us to marriage counsel you.
Yeah, please do that.

Speaker 2 But there is, I think one of the hardest things in a relationship is to go, I know I'm right.

Speaker 2 And I have proof.

Speaker 2 A key one would be when you have the screenshot of something, you know, like, well,

Speaker 2 I told you to get potatoes, and you know, you have a screenshot of the shopping list, there's no potatoes.

Speaker 2 Resisting the urge to go, hmm, that's weird.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 2 You must.

Speaker 2 You must, lose, lose. It's lose.
You must. You must.
You must go.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, sorry.
You know, I get at the supermarket. 80% is pretty good for me.

Speaker 2 You must.

Speaker 2 Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.
Catch up or contribute at Hamishandandy.com.