2025 Ep 319 - A Late & Extra Long Episode

Speaker 1 A listener production.

Speaker 1 Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three,

Speaker 1 two.

Speaker 1 Sorry, still buffering.

Speaker 1 One.

Speaker 1 Ahoy to mother, Hamish.

Speaker 1 I hope we're energy drinks.

Speaker 1 But we could also be well-known people in the family.

Speaker 1 Ahoy to Whistler. Jack.
Oh, are we mountains in Canada? No. Are we things from a painting? And I'm Marty.

Speaker 1 Mother, Marty. Whistler, Marty.
Good. It's good to get one that stumps us.
We are the three main characters from Sneakers, the film, of which we basically.

Speaker 1 Don't remember mother.

Speaker 1 You are the technician and played by Dan Aykroyd Ham. Yeah.
Darren

Speaker 1 Roscow. Jack Whistler is the blind phone freaker.
He's the phone technician. He has a braille keypad.

Speaker 1 People would still remember from that film that just kind of like, it's like a ticker tape. Yes.
Puts his fingers on it. Yeah.
And I'm Marty Rollins Redford, head of the operation.

Speaker 1 Well, the reason why we're doing that. And that brings us perfectly to the reason why a few people might be saying right now, hang on, isn't this episode late? You normally upload it it at midnight.

Speaker 1 What the heck is going on? If everything has worked, this episode is being uploaded 10 a.m.,

Speaker 1 which is some 10 hours later than we normally upload it. And

Speaker 1 there will be anger. There'll probably be confusion from a lot of people.
But if it's worked, it's that right now. If you listen to it as fast as you could, it's 10.01 on the 27th of November because.

Speaker 1 By our calculations, and everyone thought this could be a Peter out, but by our calculations, earlier on the morning of the 27th, which again is in the future for us now, but will be the day you listen to this if it's live,

Speaker 1 we should have successfully or otherwise completed Berg Boys. Our mission, our mission to rob a business who nominated themselves and asked us to come and rob the business to test out their security.

Speaker 1 Be on the lookout for three people testing small business security. Berg boys, Berg Boys, what you gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when we steal from you?

Speaker 1 So exciting. It's happening now.
We don't know how it's gone. We assume it's a great success, but people be wondering, A,

Speaker 1 who do we put the hit on? Who did we rob?

Speaker 1 Now, the reason we delayed the start of this episode, we probably didn't need to, but the reason we delayed the uploading of today's episode was because we're like, if we upload this at midnight Thursday morning and someone from the workplace and we're all like, we're going to do it, we're going to do it.

Speaker 1 Because next week's episode will be the full recount of Berg and it's quite a large company it's quite a large company there'll be a lot to talk about so next thursday's app is the last one for the year and that's going to be the complete rundown of of how the operations go on but if we i think people understand if we put if we uploaded normally at like 1201 in the morning at midnight then what's what if there's someone from the company is listening going hang on a sec that's our company and they would hear it before we actually committed the the heist yeah so we had to delay it to give ourselves the window of crime let's go back to when we were talking about the jobs a while back because we did go quiet on burg boys and it all started with haim presenting a job we had you may have heard a bit of this before we played this we had only redacted it because we didn't want to give away key aspects here is the unredacted version of that

Speaker 1 what about this from rob

Speaker 1 i'd like you guys to security test my accounting firm so straight away like oh what's this files and stuff no because i think if you can steal a painting off the staircase it'd be amazing Especially given only one person can fit in the staircase at one time.

Speaker 1 That's fine. Then he says, if it's too difficult, try this, but I actually think we should do both.
He goes, if not,

Speaker 1 steal the company Suzuki.

Speaker 1 That'd be hilarious. See you guys try and find the keys and try to steal the car from the staff parking area.
This is from Mildura in Victoria.

Speaker 1 He goes, everyone expects you to do security tests in the big cities, but come to a regional town where we won't expect it. And driving away in a car with the painting is an amazing finale.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 1 Grand Theft Auto and an art heist. An art heist and a Suzuki heist.
I like that. There's so much we need to know.
We need to know what the paintings are. Are they alarmed?

Speaker 1 How do you get into the stairwell? How do you get out of the stairwell? Why are you here? Where are the keys to the Suzuki? Here's the owner.

Speaker 1 I don't want to yuck your yum here, but the only thing for me is that it's a long way for us to go for the reconnaissance part of it.

Speaker 1 Like the recon would be like the night before, we stay one night in a motel and then rob the the place well that i don't like that because it gives you

Speaker 1 time for recon it gives you 12 hours to fully

Speaker 1 plan we're going no matter what

Speaker 1 you didn't see george clooney and brad pitt go we're doing it tomorrow and they're like well that doesn't give us time to plan it's like well it's expensive we'd love everybody

Speaker 1 we'd love to be done by the weekend

Speaker 1 i think I think we can make contact with someone in Madura and we even in first instance get someone to walk in there with the video glasses on,

Speaker 1 scope it out. We can then look at the footage.
We can then start to get a bit of information, build up a list of questions we need answered. Where are the keys? What's the art situation like?

Speaker 1 What does the building look like? What's the schematics of the building? Would it be let's get blueprints? Yeah, we'll definitely get blueprints.

Speaker 1 All right. Is that the one we're going for? Is it an art heist from an accounting firm in Mildura or is still the company Suzuki as well?

Speaker 1 I think it's it, isn't it?

Speaker 1 It's it. Okay, great.

Speaker 1 So, with that in mind,

Speaker 1 just commence operation. That's what we say.
I know, but then you go off and do nothing. You go off and play golf.

Speaker 1 I'm the one that bought the job. I bought the job to the crew.
Yeah, yeah, all right. I'll get on.

Speaker 1 I get under it. We did.
We did, Ando.

Speaker 1 And again, I'm not

Speaker 1 spoiling anything, not telegraphing anything, but... God, we were actually really well organized in that first instance when we.

Speaker 1 Because what month any idea what month that was I feel like that was about May that was ages ago yeah that was really early in the year

Speaker 1 if you were a fly on the wall hearing that in May you go these guys are going to pull this off no dramas like we we had such great stuff to go on there and energy there was an energy

Speaker 1 and I think and this is a bit of an this is a bit of a sometimes a bit of a pattern in my life when there's too much energy at the start when you exhaust that that can do that that can entice you to coast

Speaker 1 if the worst thing that could worst thing that could happen for me in an olympic relay team is you you give me a huge lead like the first leg

Speaker 1 and i would jump in and and and enjoy enjoy the buffer too much yes before i try to cram at the end people might sense a bit of enjoying the buffer creeping in

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 We sort of took it from there and went, okay, great.

Speaker 1 We've got, you know, we had to go quiet on air because, of course, we're like, we don't want people, you know, if you're in an accounting firm in Mildura, there's not gonna be too many of them and you're like okay well we that could be us we have a painting in our stairwell we have a suzuki swift as our company car yes so we had to completely stop talking about it but behind the scenes

Speaker 1 but we got working behind the scenes when i say working we let it let it drift for a few months but then we have booked all the flights to mildura and we did have a meeting probably two months ago yeah to go okay guys it's creeping up november you know we know we want to we know we want to pull this heist off sort of mid-november yeah should we just

Speaker 1 circle back? How's everyone feeling about the robbery?

Speaker 1 Um, we thought any more about it. Um, have we progressed? Do we need to, you know, should we start putting a plan together and start working on things?

Speaker 1 I think we all felt that the energy was carrying, and we might have been thinking about it for a long time in the lead up to our first Berg bunker meeting. Yeah, but as you'll see, maybe not.

Speaker 1 We're like, let's get together and actually

Speaker 1 like clunk our brains together and really like lock down the plan for how we're going to pull this off.

Speaker 1 Welcome Berg Boys. Any of you followed on your way here? Well it doesn't matter because we're recording this in front of signs that say Berg bunker that Jess put up.
I mean

Speaker 1 everyone has their own bunker don't they? What do you mean everyone has their own bunker? Like in heist films they all have their spot. I thought you were talking about the house you're building.

Speaker 1 No mate, not everyone has a golf sim underground.

Speaker 1 Yeah they have a spot. Usually it's it's a warehouse or something that will be burned afterwards for evidence.

Speaker 1 Which we will do in here at great cost to the public.

Speaker 1 Let Gino know to come and get a lot of the tech out before we torch the place. Hey,

Speaker 1 first of all, I love that we haven't let this Peter out. We've all been thinking about it a lot.
Love that we're back in here doing the update. I've got a small agenda.
Great.

Speaker 1 I just wanted to say off the top, have we put more thought into like making little signs and stuff and the excitement of coming in here?

Speaker 1 Like I went and got a coffee in a chocolate bar before this because i was excited to you know get down to business and talk about the job and i just don't feel like we've made any progress do you guys feel like you've made any progress since last time are you bringing any new information no no no no not definitely not new not really me neither wasn't someone going to get us the information like blueprints where the keys are you

Speaker 1 were in charge of building i said that you said you said that you definitely said blueprints you said that you would get us so that's what i was looking forward to today i was like well haynes gonna bring the blueprints

Speaker 1 I said that. Yes, you said that.
Why would I say that? Well, that's what I was surprised. Why would I get blueprints? Well, I was surprised as well.

Speaker 1 Well, because I, before coming in, I googled the offices, like where they are in Mildura. There's a shot of reception.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, good, I'm looking forward to having some of this filled in, like having some of the blanks filled in. So are we?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 now we all are. Okay, well, we've got to get the blueprints.

Speaker 1 We know, mate. Because you're in charge of it.
That's a given. We have to get the floor plan at least.
Yes, that's what you said you'd get last time. Do you want to pass that back to me?

Speaker 1 Someone's got to get it.

Speaker 1 This is how I've seen this move a hundred times where he's like, oh, someone's got to do it. Like waiting for somebody to fill the void.
He did it with that coffee, actually, because he's like, oh.

Speaker 1 Jess, he's working with us. He's like, oh, Jess, like,

Speaker 1 I feel like a coffee, like, I could go down and get it.

Speaker 1 But if you are going downstairs i'll i'll get it i'll get it but if you are going downstairs i would love a macchiato there's no reason for me to go downstairs simple that all of the work is up here

Speaker 1 because we must not let cracks appear like this

Speaker 1 we cannot have this can't become a shame i will get i will get the i'll get him no

Speaker 1 no you won't all right well i tried say i tried he stole it off me

Speaker 1 i'm going to put follow-up things and that is me. I'll follow you up.

Speaker 1 I'll be the backup follow-up. Okay.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing. Just so this doesn't frustrate us or the listeners following on this exciting journey, I think we need to leave this meeting with the skeleton of a plan

Speaker 1 and then we need to apply things like actual floor plan to that to see if it works. And the big question for me is the location of the items, the artwork and the keys.

Speaker 1 Did anyone find that out?

Speaker 1 Did anyone? Yeah, I know where the painting is.

Speaker 1 It's the stairwell, isn't it? Yeah, but we all know that. We got told it last time.
But we don't know where the keys are kept. That's the big thing for me.

Speaker 1 Because the big one for me is if we're going to steal this

Speaker 1 imaginary reception. But we don't know that.
We don't know.

Speaker 1 Are we allowed to ask, under the rules of this game, are we allowed to ask the owner Rob? Are we allowed to ask him and go... No, no, it's got to...
Because we're going to say, Rob us.

Speaker 1 a burglar doesn't ring after the owner i know

Speaker 1 just wondering where you i yeah it doesn't know how much we were allowed to have no what if we just put it reception

Speaker 1 a lock box thing and it had suzuki keys on it we just put suzuki keys put a reception

Speaker 1 and and hope they put the keys they might go oh okay that's a new system we have to put a suzuki keys

Speaker 1 but when when are we putting the box in it like we just walk in in disguise what just they they adopt they adopt the system within two hours. I don't know.
If you're on reception and you saw,

Speaker 1 we need to see.

Speaker 1 I must have missed an email. I don't know if we put the Suzuki keys.
I love the idea. I'm just thinking laterally, yeah, that's what you're doing in the bunker.
One idea I had

Speaker 1 was I think we need to clear the office. Yeah.
And I think the best way to do that is an emergency. I think gas leak.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're not pumping gas in there, though. I think we.
Do you think we come in as workers and go, there's been a gas?

Speaker 1 There's been a report of a gas leak. Can we have everybody out? Yep.
And whether we come in as fire people

Speaker 1 or just tradies. Or tradies.
Big, big beards.

Speaker 1 With Andy's, we can search the whole building for the keys, not just assume they're in reception in that box,

Speaker 1 the system that they just set up 45 minutes earlier. Yeah, look, the gas leak, it works.
You won't be able to smoke for that entire 10 minutes. We'll give it away if you're walking around smoking.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, none of us can smoke for that whole 10 minutes. Is there a way where we put them on the phone to someone and we have that person in the van that's patched a call in the wrong way?

Speaker 1 That's always fun in a, in a heist. Miljira gas leaks, emergency hotline.

Speaker 1 Yes, we've been told we have to evacuate a building. Yes.
You must get out. Yes.
And don't look back.

Speaker 1 Particularly painting. The other thing I thought that could be fun is they're directly opposite a park, I notice on Google Maps.
Could we put on a concert, a free concert for

Speaker 1 like a like a like a carnival?

Speaker 1 Wow. To try and empty the office out to get everyone to go over for like, imagine we put on free donuts and

Speaker 1 we stole a painting and a car worth less than putting on a carnival. That's what I reckon has to, it has to be, we can't spend more money than what we would theoretically make in the Berkeley.

Speaker 1 I'm not interested in a low-rent heist. I'm only interested in a big, elaborate one.
They're more likely to leave with a gas leak than just like a petting zoo across the road.

Speaker 1 That's why I am going back to gas leak and not because of your idea about are you scared to take a risk, but because that depends how big the artist is that's playing across the road.

Speaker 1 You're scared to dream big, but Andy does have a point. I can imagine I'll feel quite foolish if we've

Speaker 1 got a carnival and no one chooses to leave us and we're down 30 grand for a pirate ship or something that you've

Speaker 1 because no one

Speaker 1 it just didn't yeah it wasn't really their thing

Speaker 1 So I think I know the answer to this, but next on my agenda was do we want disguises? Yes, please.

Speaker 1 I would like to be an old man.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the gas leak. It hurts the old man thing.

Speaker 1 Why are you pushing this? I'm an old man towards the city.

Speaker 1 I'm from the council. And fun fact, I was actually the first governor of the town, but I'm still allowed to work for the council in a gas capacity.

Speaker 1 We've got our oldest member of of this emergency team. He's got

Speaker 1 a nose for the gas. We wheel him around in a wheelchair, which means we can break down the painting and put it in my wheelchair to

Speaker 1 get us out of there. Yeah.
Here's, all right, division of labor. The good thing about the gas leak is we can wear masks

Speaker 1 and that does hide the face well. We can wear those like painting masks like with the respirators on the side.

Speaker 1 Jack, you're less likely, no offense, I agree. To be spotted.

Speaker 1 So I think you could be the person outside making sure everyone gets away from the building. And that puts Andy and me inside.
We need a lot of props, though.

Speaker 1 I think it needs to be really clear once they get outside, like flashing orange lights, witches' hats.

Speaker 1 You know, a lot of stuff to get them off over the... We have to build the barrier first, and we really got to get them out off the other side of the barrier.

Speaker 1 Why don't one of us like find out what would actually happen?

Speaker 1 Like we could research what actually happens when a building is evacuated for a gas leak and we borrow some of the things that they really do.

Speaker 1 All of them, yeah, we shouldn't run it like a real gas leak. So then, is Jack going to go up and say, hey, we've got reports of a gas leak on this level? I guess so.

Speaker 1 Or are we going, I can tell you want the old man to do it, but

Speaker 1 no, I'm just, how authoritative can you be? Go.

Speaker 1 Confinement reception. Hello.
There has been a report of a gas leak in this building. I haven't heard anything.
Well, you wouldn't say that.

Speaker 1 You might.

Speaker 1 you might have it all right oh that's no good yes and i mean we we should be fine but i just want to be more safe than sorry so we've got a unit that comes in it does mean that the building has to evacuate um sorry for the disruption but we will go through the building make sure there is no gas leak and make sure that everyone's safe to come back in don't you just check outside no this is an indoor one

Speaker 1 I think that's working Jack, I don't think that's like anything. You have to be assertive though.
You can't just be like, well, we're going to be better services.

Speaker 1 It's like, unfortunately, you have to leave. Yes.

Speaker 1 We have to evacuate you guys. Will people know what Jack looks like? Is this the part where we hire an actor?

Speaker 1 Like, is this the part we're bringing in an extra person and then we can all go in off the back of that? Who do you think?

Speaker 1 Angus Sampson.

Speaker 1 Way more. Recognizable.

Speaker 1 Way more, way more. He's in Hollywood films.
I just love him. Sure, but that's the wrong way to go.

Speaker 1 It has to be someone from like your hockey club or something. Yeah.

Speaker 1 None of them are good enough actors. I think I could do it.
Would you shave your beard and just go mustache for it? Yep. Yep.

Speaker 1 Why are we thinking that's a tough look? You will look

Speaker 1 like a ballista. I'm trying to change his.
No, I'm trying to change his appearance.

Speaker 1 It's not about being tough.

Speaker 1 Would you shave your whole head into a scarf?

Speaker 1 No, it's about being authoritative. Yes.

Speaker 1 Because I think as well, if we were real burglars, the less people

Speaker 1 in the pie, the less. You can't just hire Anger Samson as a real burglar.
He'd say no. He would say no.
He's a law-abiding citizen.

Speaker 1 So as soon as we get everyone out, and Andy and I are there in the masks, and you're like, okay, that's everyone go. We hit our timers and we only got five minutes.

Speaker 1 Was that a shiver of excitement or you need to do a week?

Speaker 1 That was a shiver of like, wow, we're really doing this stuff.

Speaker 1 I thought it might have been his shiver.

Speaker 1 So we don't have to take a break. Now, just quickly.
So I'm saying five minutes, five minutes will be the timer and then we'll go like, where's the keys, where's the keys? Where's the keys?

Speaker 1 Get the painting.

Speaker 1 Jack, you will have to pack up outside as well. And will you be...
Actually, no, you just leave it all there, but you need to get in the van and you need to get out of there.

Speaker 1 Me and Andy will be escaping in the Suzuki. Oh, yeah, I guess I don't have to escape in the escape car.

Speaker 1 What if they see the Suzuki burning off down the street and I'm still there putting witch's hats together?

Speaker 1 That's what I was just wondering.

Speaker 1 Is there a way we could hire a truck that we drive the Suzuki up into?

Speaker 1 That's awesome, but it is, I think, that's pretty heavily just Fast and Furious type stuff.

Speaker 1 I mean, all of this is

Speaker 1 what putting out witches' hats is still good. Doing a moving drive up the back of a car, a truck is.
Not moving. No, no.
I was talking about we park the truck. I'm just trying to keep costs down.

Speaker 1 I'm not allowed to do a carnival, but we can go buy a semi-trailer that can take a car. Again, we'd have to buy the semi-trailer.
And who's the driver of the semi-trailer? Not us. Not us.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Expansion. I mean, I love the idea, but can't we just steal the Suzuki? Yeah.
The game is, we've been hired to do a job, and the job is to steal the painting and the Suzuki.

Speaker 1 Once they're off the premises, we've won. But we're not actually keeping these things.
Like, that's one for the Berg boys. We did the job.
Okay. I will not be an old man now.

Speaker 1 which I think is a nice give from me, but I will have a cool wig on. Okay.

Speaker 1 okay I think we do as a disguise yeah yeah because we're also gonna have the face masks like the gas yeah gas masks yeah what if we went something that's even more than a um why don't we go full chemical suits oh that's pretty fun yeah also heads covered as well oh yeah just because why not i mean just go look so sorry guys we've got you know there is a leak like a we don't know what it is um but we think there's been a hazardous

Speaker 1 spill there is something sus about that if someone came to your work do you think you'd believe that if you couldn't even see through the visor for extra believability let's just say they came to work and there was a spill like a big spill or something oh yeah and there's a sign like information they're going call you know in this is we've had a chemical spill here call this number if you'd like a team to check out the chemical spill they call us and we go yep we can send a unit round and they go sorry we just need everyone out of the building while we do the cleanup yeah i really like that So if we put an emergency notice on the front door that said,

Speaker 1 hey, to the owners of this, can you please call this number? Do we get a 1-800 number for this thing that connects one of our phones? That's good.

Speaker 1 Please call this number when you arrive. There's no danger from small exposure, but we would like, you know,

Speaker 1 yeah. Okay.
I think that's fun. Then we can actually...
The danger might be to your company car.

Speaker 1 Do a little wink.

Speaker 1 Let's put some bollards out with some flashing orange lights. It looks like we've been in the area.
After the call, we go in, get upstairs, the painting.

Speaker 1 Now, I think we need to bring in some equipment so we can smuggle the painting out. So we smuggle the painting out.
We'll have trolleys and bins and stuff.

Speaker 1 Another part of good surveillance then is finding out how big measurements and how big the artwork is. Are we sitting in the old man or what?

Speaker 1 I don't think, I think the old man. Why is he taking a measuring tape and measuring the size of the artwork?

Speaker 1 He's wandering around the building, filming things that we can look at and then go, okay, that actually answers a lot of questions. That's how big the painting is.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 the old man might jeopardize the the entire operation.

Speaker 1 Honestly, I think the old man the day before filming stuff is kind of the key to the whole thing.

Speaker 1 Old man with the camera hat on. It would just be such a shame if that's what.

Speaker 1 What are they going to do? Kick an old man out of their building for a while.

Speaker 1 A young man pretending to be an old man. Is this the guy from Lego Masters? He was walking around here yesterday.
Maybe we should not believe any of this.

Speaker 1 I'm Anna Cardigan,

Speaker 1 and I'm very heavily prosthetic. That's the worry.

Speaker 1 It's very hard to do that. We will get professional help.

Speaker 1 I just want eyes in that building. Yeah, we'll see.
We'll get sincere. We can send jacket.

Speaker 1 Do you reckon you can walk like an old man?

Speaker 1 I don't have to be old. I can be anyone.

Speaker 1 But the old man helps because you look like you're confused. But he's going to get kicked out so fast.

Speaker 1 People are going to kick him out so fast. It's not like it's a bank.

Speaker 1 He's not going anywhere past reception, though. The other thing is

Speaker 1 imagine you walk into any office.

Speaker 1 The whole thing locked down, they're not allowed in. We're going to find the painting.
It's in the main thoroughfare.

Speaker 1 That's true. It's a two-story building and it's in the stairwell.
So there is only one stairwell it can be in. All right.

Speaker 1 Here's my worry. Last, last, last thing.
This has been, this meeting has been too long. The car park is so visible from the street.
It's not an underground car park at all.

Speaker 1 It's like around the back of the building car park. If me and Andy are out there, there's the gas workers

Speaker 1 trying to break into the car and the whole office is watching us.

Speaker 1 That might be a giveaway that these gas workers aren't really gas workers. Aren't they trying to steal this?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So why don't we set up a huge white pop-up tent? Yeah, or that's all taped up in Jack.
It's your job to keep everyone away from the car park. You have to keep them away from the car park.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 what we should do is go past the night before and see if the car is on site.

Speaker 1 If it's the only car in the car park. And it's the only, we know it's a Suzuki Swift.

Speaker 1 Because if we don't know it's there, we have to wait for someone to arrive with it if someone's using the company car. That's true.
So if it is there,

Speaker 1 then we can tape up not only the front door, but the whole car park.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So that's good.

Speaker 1 And at night,

Speaker 1 we could also put up a white tent, you know, those pop-up white tents

Speaker 1 to block off that whole car park

Speaker 1 and tape it up to explain. I think we want a van.
Yeah. We've been here.
We're looking. There's been, yeah, there's been issues.
And then how many total days are we in Mildura doing the heist?

Speaker 1 At the moment, we're booked in for coming in the night before, heisting, and then getting out.

Speaker 1 So two nights total. But we thought we'd have a big party to celebrate the heist.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Well, we thought we'd go for some beers and stuff after the heist.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Do you stay for heist beers? No, just like

Speaker 1 we literally thought it'd be fun to have a party that we've celebrated the heist and come back the following after that.

Speaker 1 Okay, because by then we've already told them, like, you've been hit by the burg boys. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, some of them might want to come to the height.

Speaker 1 To the party. Okay, yeah, yeah.
I thought, like, when we want to get the hell out of Mandurah, but I forgot that we're not keeping the stuff. Yeah, then we really are robbing the car.

Speaker 1 You know, this is to give, then we give it back to Rob and like he, he'll tell the staff, listen, guys, you've got to be sharper than this because this morning that was a fake hazardous chemical leak.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And these, the gas workers stole the company car. That could happen any day.
And that's a real risk for any accounting firm. Yeah.
Him telling his accounting staff, hey, don't let.

Speaker 1 somebody steal the car from the car park. Well, what are they going to say? Get more security.
They'll go, thanks, boss. Yeah, that's on us.
We let the ball drop.

Speaker 1 I don't think the point of it is for the boss to have a go at his staff.

Speaker 1 i mean it's just he's testing his own security measures yeah and he'll look back and go okay we're susceptible to fake gas leaks what could i have done differently yeah yeah okay

Speaker 1 okay so actionable

Speaker 1 i'll get the plan good

Speaker 1 jax doing a research what actually happens when a gas leak occurs and what are some real things that would happen if a uh outfit like this came to your workplace.

Speaker 1 Can you send me the name of the body that you'd call? Yes. And then I'll make up our decals for our signs.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And someone's got to get onto like, you know what I mean, the sawhorse kind of like bollard things, like the black and yellow barricade type things because we just need like 10 of those and a bunch of tape and a bunch of

Speaker 1 transit for transit. Like a big, big van, a bunch of yellow flashing light stuff.
Yep. And where are we at with needing an old man outfit or disguise? I think we don't need it.

Speaker 1 I don't think we need it either.

Speaker 1 And may God have mercy on you all as you fly into this plan completely unprepared. Fine.

Speaker 1 So there you go. That's the plan.
We'll find out whether we pulled it off next week. All of next week's show will be a burg boy spectacular to finish out the year.
We won't give anything else away.

Speaker 1 We don't know yet. I mean, we're in the same boat as you right now going,

Speaker 1 how did they go? Confident. Because we're recording this before the day we did the heist, which again, if you're listening on the 27th, is that day.

Speaker 1 But I will say this, knowing that we are heading into, about to, in real life, doing Burg Boys, the old man, don't give up on the old man.

Speaker 1 We already gave up on him. No, no, but do not give up on him.
He's going to make a resurgence.

Speaker 1 So, Ham, given that Burg Boys is exclusively the show next week, we've got to type loose ends. We do this.
go early. This is the funnest part of the end of the year.

Speaker 1 One of the funnest parts of the end of the year is loose ends.

Speaker 1 But it's always a slight worry for me because I've always forget what Peter. I'm so good at Petering out that I just let, I never think of it again.
Well, I've got one off the bat. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I actually do have a couple. Because what we do is we're basically just going to decide now whether it is Peter out or are we going to do it again.
Yep.

Speaker 1 The Olympics for people to undress in under two seconds.

Speaker 1 I feel like this is

Speaker 1 last year's Peter out.

Speaker 1 We still like it. Really?

Speaker 1 I still like it. I think we kick it down to next, kick it to next year.
Jack?

Speaker 1 No, I think if it's it's spanned a full year without any action

Speaker 1 almost. Yeah, I think it's gone.
I think it's gone as well. Unfortunately, it's do we need three votes for a full Peter out? Because I'll keep bringing it up.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, why don't we just go? It's now a two-thirds majority Peter out.

Speaker 1 But we are, it's now on me to remember to keep bringing it up. So, it's as good as a Peter Rousey.

Speaker 1 We got close, we got very close. Weren't we going to have

Speaker 1 people auditioning from all around Australia? And then people sent in, and then we had to fly.

Speaker 1 I think it did, it lost its wind when over a year ago, the guy that said he could do it in two seconds was adamant, yeah. And then his girlfriend said he can, but he doesn't feel like it this week.

Speaker 1 And then we just nominated me to be the only one to see him nude, and that was right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it has to be Andy.

Speaker 1 By the way, it's I meant two minutes, but can I still do it?

Speaker 1 Who knows? Who knows? Can we take line through it? Could be resurrected. No.

Speaker 1 Okay, well,

Speaker 1 we will never, I will never bring it up again.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Look, this isn't a Peter. This is more just a loose end that I think, this is more just a tapping in to see that something's going well.

Speaker 1 Our campaign to make sure that ball golf was adequately, adequately labeled as such, instead of just lazily calling it golf, because there are many many kinds of golf.

Speaker 1 I just want to touch base.

Speaker 1 I just want to give a shout out to a bit of a legend of a listener, Michael, who is in real estate and he does a lot of drone photography and they have to often take a picture.

Speaker 1 You know, sometimes you get a picture of the house to show you what's nearby. Like, you know, here are the shops, here's the train station.

Speaker 1 And now when he does, he's, he's sent us a bit of drone photography from one of the properties that he's been doing.

Speaker 1 And it's right near it's like, oh, here's, it's in Perth, here's Swanbourne Beach, but here's also the ball golf club

Speaker 1 nearby. It's officially labeled on the real state site.
Good. I like that.

Speaker 1 The coin. People are asking about the coin.
Not a Peter out, but Jim Chalmers has put up a stubborn wall.

Speaker 1 And we've...

Speaker 1 I thought we were weeks away at one stage from getting your review. Did you think that, Jack? And you said you were.
You were one time. You were like, I've got something.
I did. I did.

Speaker 1 And then even when we turned off the mics, you were like, just

Speaker 1 couldn't say it today but it would be it's gonna be weeks away yeah i thought it was

Speaker 1 well that was more than weeks ago definitely that was a long time ago this is our effort to i mean we are the single-handedly i would say i don't want to hear how about this i don't want to hear any more about the coin until i see it in my hot hand okay that's fine i'm just sort of say to bring people up to speed we feel like we should be added to a coin there's so many commemorative coins they argue that it's only people that are dead are allowed on the coins or fictional characters mel meninga was on one this year he's still alive They keep lying through their arguments are terrible.

Speaker 1 We know that.

Speaker 1 At hamishandy.com, people upload audio.

Speaker 1 And even if it felt like a Peter out for us, there are some people out there that are still flying the flag. And I stumbled across this one on my side of the fence.
And it's from comedian Troy Kinney.

Speaker 1 And he had uploaded a bit of audio.

Speaker 1 He could have texted and said, hey, mate, I've uploaded something. He didn't.
He just left it to the email gods to see if we discovered it. And this is what came in.

Speaker 2 G'day, Hamish and Andy and the weasel. Troy Kinney here from Melbourne.
Fan of the show. Dare I say, possible friend of the show.

Speaker 2 I hope I'm not overstepping here in a couple of ways. Essentially, I've noticed a lack of talk about the Hamish and Andy coin possibility.
So I've taken it upon myself to keep the momentum going.

Speaker 2 The other way I may have overstepped is the tactic I've employed is Hamish's old old ultimate wingman tactic he used to use with the single version of Andy in that I've gone into my local post office and just taken on the attitude that the Hamish and Andy coin does exist so that when I find out it doesn't I can act like that is ridiculous and the people in charge of making the coin feel like they have really missed an opportunity.

Speaker 2 Here's that conversation for you now. I can only assume it's going to help the cause.

Speaker 1 Do you sell the Hamish and Andy coin?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Hamish and Andy podcast commemorative coin.

Speaker 1 Let me have a look. There's coins coming out over the next month.
I've got a book here, and I'll have a look for you.

Speaker 1 Hamish and Andy.

Speaker 1 That'd be a good coin, wouldn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, Hamish and Andy.

Speaker 1 So the Hamish and Andy coin actually doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 No. Seems like a wasted opportunity, doesn't it?

Speaker 2 Considering all the other coins they're willing to put out.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 We haven't got hello kidding. Hello, kitty.
You're kidding me.

Speaker 2 How an Australian can you get?

Speaker 1 Off work, Coy. More of that.

Speaker 1 More of that. Firmly in board.
Yeah, we don't need to harp on about it every week on the show, but to get that dollar coin, firmly support anyone hitting the post office.

Speaker 1 Just checking to see if they sell them. I like the lady said that'd be a good coin.

Speaker 1 Even the people that are dealing with them, she's on board. Let it filter up.
More of those in the post office, please. Less off-brand transformers.
But not a Peter out. It can be.
Not a Peter out.

Speaker 1 Jack. Yeah.
I picked up a few of these through the email. Go ahead.
How's the board game going?

Speaker 1 The way you said, oh,

Speaker 1 just about.

Speaker 1 You can't even say you're busy. No, I can't.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I get people messaging me saying, like, do you want to co-build the board game? This is a Hamish and Andy board game. Yeah, Jack said.

Speaker 1 I'll make a board game of the show. Yes.
I remember being excited about then as I started and I'm like thinking of like mini microphone figurines like who's going to play

Speaker 1 that.

Speaker 1 You've got angry and it's your own bad idea.

Speaker 1 There's not only one option to make the board game. You've immediately fallen out of love with it.
Yeah. Jack.

Speaker 1 You've been building a sauna all year. Yes.
Is there a board game in building a sauna? Could you like win materials, win sponsored content from like, you know, oh, you've won the chance to, you know,

Speaker 1 that sounds even more boring than the Hamish and Annie game. Jack, this is your opportunity to say, I'm not doing it.
Oh, I was about to say I'll do it over summer.

Speaker 1 I've been seeing his face. I appreciate that.
So when we come back,

Speaker 1 when we come back, will we have some progress?

Speaker 1 There will be a prototype to play.

Speaker 1 Yes, there will.

Speaker 1 Far out. That's great news.
That's something for the fans to look forward to over summer. Hey, another thing that could, another thing that I'm flagging is a project.

Speaker 1 Excuses.

Speaker 1 Getting out of. You should make a board game.

Speaker 1 The whole point is getting out of.

Speaker 1 It should be a series of cards.

Speaker 1 It's like it beat the bomb. You keep making promises until you finally get it.
That is a good board game. Like the clock's on.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, in scategories, you have to name as many things as you can in 60 seconds. This should just be how many excuses can you cover in 60 seconds? It's like,

Speaker 1 hey, you've got to bring shopping and we've got a sprained wrist. Okay.
Ding.

Speaker 1 Anyway. Okay.
Speaking of things that are going to definitely happen over summer,

Speaker 1 this is not really in loose ends, but it literally came in today. And I wanted to just flag it with you guys because I think

Speaker 1 you'll be on my side here.

Speaker 1 I actually got an email from my kids' school going, you know, hi, how many shape everything's going well.

Speaker 1 Would you be interested in just before school goes back next year, like end of January, we're doing a staff development day, like they do a day before the kids come back.

Speaker 1 Could you come and talk to the staff? Would you be able to come in to talk to the staff doing a speech on the staff development day?

Speaker 1 And it's a kid's school, and I've never been asked to do this before, I might write to the staff.

Speaker 1 Well, like do a speech, like they all get together for a team building, and I guess they need a guest speaker. And so I'm like, if your kids' school asks for, because it's like kindy to year 12.

Speaker 1 So this is

Speaker 1 upper school. I feel like if you get asked by the kids' school, you go, no worries, I'll do it.
So I write back and be like, sure, it's kind of the day before school goes back.

Speaker 1 So holidays are kind of over. Love to do it.

Speaker 1 what are the timings like what what what time of the day and how long do you want the speech for he said i'll be just before lunch and with like an hour presentation

Speaker 1 wow an hour

Speaker 1 that's more work than you've ever done mate an hour presentation on leadership and like question and answer mate

Speaker 1 so i'm going back like i literally am about to respond to the email i'm going back with a 10 minute

Speaker 1 offer and 50 minutes of QA. Yeah, yeah.
I think depends a lot. I mean, I'm sorry, I'm just reeling from this.
This has just happened, but an hour, it's outrageous.

Speaker 1 That's the TED Talks only go for TED Talks, what are TED talks? 15, 20 minutes,

Speaker 1 15, 20 minutes. And sometimes they, you can even see a bit of padding in that.

Speaker 1 They can't possibly have had someone speak for an hour. I used to go and watch Haim do speeches at uni in the classes he hadn't prepared for.
Yeah. Sometimes he had to do an oral presentation.

Speaker 1 That's why he's so good at thinking

Speaker 1 about it. Literally, that's why I started.

Speaker 1 I used to sit in the back, Jack, and just piss myself laughing as the most ill-prepared man in his 19, 20-year-old get up there and go computer science. It basically

Speaker 1 and then point at someone just hoping for an option.

Speaker 1 The Oxford Dictionary defines computer science as science.

Speaker 1 But can we believe them? Can we believe them?

Speaker 1 I did a little bit of research myself.

Speaker 1 Who are these Oxford really good uh okay so anyway there'll be an update we'll get back did i do an hour or did i did i do six minutes um hey i've got a loose end here as it was only a few weeks ago where you said i've got a great story

Speaker 1 and remember that hamster oh yes africa uganda yeah well it's not even a it's not a it's a impactful story probably one of the most impactful things that happened to me throughout the year you said you gave us a warning essentially well i was just like it maybe could be a keep it or delete it because it's it's not ungraphic

Speaker 1 but i

Speaker 1 it's more it was more just like oh it's the kind of thing because because we're all friends but when something happens to us we sometimes go i won't tell the guys this because i'll just wait till the podcast so it's one of those things that happened but like time life moves on we're always doing lots of stuff on the podcast and you just just didn't get around telling it okay so let's put let's look up the keep it or delete it because if it's too graphic we're not going to to get too graphic, but it's

Speaker 1 it's confronting. I'll lead with this.

Speaker 1 Have you ever, and I mean,

Speaker 1 have you ever been properly, and I mean properly, constipated?

Speaker 1 Keep it

Speaker 1 or delete it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Keep it or delete it.

Speaker 1 I guess we go from now. If you missed it, it means

Speaker 1 we've kept it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Golly. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a lot

Speaker 1 just from the teaser.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been properly constipated?

Speaker 1 I don't just mean like

Speaker 1 that hurts to pass. I mean, like.
I don't think so. I've never like.

Speaker 1 If you can't remember it, you haven't. You haven't.
When I was a lot younger. So

Speaker 1 we were in Africa earlier this year. We spent a bunch of time in Uganda.
Then we went to

Speaker 1 down to Cape Town, then back to Johannesburg to fly out. Like you fly back to Australia from Joe Burg.

Speaker 1 It was in spring.

Speaker 1 What are you constipated?

Speaker 1 I don't even know. Maybe it was the anti-malaria teller.
Something, I actually don't even know. Like

Speaker 1 there was no change in behavior. I'm eating normally.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I've taken short flights before. It wasn't like nothing had happened.

Speaker 1 We were in Cape Town, I think, for six days. And it was on the morning we were leaving to fly Cape Town to Johannesburg.

Speaker 1 Did you eat a whole corn cop? Because that's what the dog, my dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Funny you mentioned that. So, no, I didn't.
I don't think I did.

Speaker 1 But I, so I'm sitting, I go to the toilet in the hotel and I sit down and I'm looking at this interesting like photo of like this wildlife photo in front of the toilet. And I go, that's strange.

Speaker 1 It's an amazing photo. It's like of lions and stuff.
I was like, why have I not noticed that the whole time I was here?

Speaker 1 And then I was like, I don't think I've I've sat on the toilet the whole time. I've I think I've come in, I've had my back to that photo

Speaker 1 ones, and I'm looking going, it's so strange. There's only one toilet in this hotel room.

Speaker 1 Like, I would have noticed, I would have noticed, and then I'm sitting on the toilet waiting because I had to go, number two.

Speaker 1 Like, I've got to, you know, there's movement at the station, and then nothing's happening. So, as these two thoughts are kind of like clicking in my head, why have I never seen that photo before?

Speaker 1 Why is nothing moving to me? I'm getting fierce contractions. Absolutely, nothing's going on.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like

Speaker 1 there's pressure,

Speaker 1 but my God, there's no movement. There's, there's, there's like

Speaker 1 something's not correlating. So I'm like, I don't, I can't remember the last time I've done a poo and it definitely hasn't been in this room for the week we've been here.

Speaker 1 Do you reckon it would have been five days? It might have been, yeah, five or six days. Like, we've got a big problem here.

Speaker 1 And that's

Speaker 1 literally in figurative. Weren't you feeling heavy? I had felt a bit sick the day before and I think it was because I was going toxic and I was reabsorbing too much of my own poop.

Speaker 1 Like my blood poop limit was just going off the charts. So then I'm like, okay, this is where it gets a bit graphic.
So I go, what do we do here?

Speaker 1 What is going on down there? Like, nothing's moving. You're going to get tablets.
You don't. What do you think? We're on our way to the airport.
No, we're going to the airport.

Speaker 1 Like, so this is like, all right, everyone, I was like, I'll just, this is a common movement. I'll just go to the toilet.
All the suitcases are packed. Last man in.

Speaker 1 I've just got to do, I've got to do some business. Oh, that's a good idea.
So no one else has to to go in after it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You certainly don't go, hey, I've just gone and destroyed the toilet. Would you like to go and clean up all your cosmetics on here?

Speaker 1 So, I've tried to time it like that. I get some paper, I get some toilet paper, and Jack, I warn you, just grab it, pop it over the Bombay entrance, and just have a tentative poke

Speaker 1 just to go, what is back there, right? And my finger is met with something that feels like a grapefruit,

Speaker 1 like solid, like right, it is

Speaker 1 absolute we've lost jack yeah

Speaker 1 so grapefruit

Speaker 1 like a no no grapefruit the like you're touching the skin of a grapefruit like i'm touching the skin of a it's that huge like there's it's not there's no yeah it's like trying to i realize my body is trying to push a couch through a cat flap

Speaker 1 like it is there's just no way this thing you can strain all you want and you might get a little bit of one of the yeah the cushion of the arm through yeah you're not getting the couch and then you take the couch through.

Speaker 1 Back, back, back, back, back, and back.

Speaker 1 It's not the angle. It's the size.
Okay. We have got a big problem here.
That thing ain't moving.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, well, we have to go. Like, we have to go to the airport.
So I get the go. So now I have a big secret that I'm carrying with me.
I come out and it goes, what's wrong? I go, just,

Speaker 1 I'll tell you in a sec. I've just, I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 I don't know what to do. Because I'm like, what do you do? So we get to the airport.
I'm like, I'm sure I'll figure out, yeah, chemist at the airport.

Speaker 1 Go to the airport, you know, get everyone settled. We get through the gates.
I go, is there a pharmacy here? It's back through security. They have to go back out to security.
Go to the pharmacy.

Speaker 1 And the laxity of medication, you drink it, but it takes 24 hours.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm not smuggling this thing back into Australia. It can't go through customs.
We have to do something about this now. Say, sir, you're over the carry-on link.

Speaker 1 You entered the country at 90 kilos and we see you leaving at 114. What's going on?

Speaker 1 i'd love border security to have got him we're going to have to take him for a body scan the way that you did think channel 7 would love that episode well you've got something you've got we can see you've swallowed a massive condom of heroin

Speaker 1 you can get this out of me i'll do the time i'll go to jail

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 there's another way you can do it which is a suppository oh yeah which is a thing you slide up in there yeah and they're made of glycerin which is like to it's kind of like it's meant to to dissolve in there and i guess just kind of like smooth things it's kind of like yeah it's lube basically and it dissolves in like a like a it looks like a little artillery shell helps break basically helps break it down so we need to do something like that so anyway i'm having fierce contractions like i'm really struggling now i have to i and i'm and i do look like i'm guilty because i'm coming back through security and they've seen me before and i've and i'm like writhing around and i'm looking shifty i go to the bathroom but the plane's taking off in like half an hour.

Speaker 1 So I go to the bathroom. This is in Cape Town.
So we're just flying like two hours to Jannisburg.

Speaker 1 I'm like, you meant to dip it. I get into the store.
There's a toilet attendant in there. And you meant to dip it in water for glycerine thing, but I'm already in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, do I dunk it in the toilet water? That doesn't seem very sanitary. No, so I'm in there spitting on it.
No, don't do that anymore.

Speaker 1 You've got to be English. You have to loosen it.
You have to, you have to lubricate this little clear artillery cubicle

Speaker 1 the toilet says cancer down like and i'm all i mean all sorts of like just get this thing in me because every second counts now we need this to happen before we get on the flight anyway get in there do it it's so awkward like it really you put in something you know you now it's extra awkward sit down but then the flight gets called straight away as soon as i come to the bathroom they're like we're calling the flight I was like, oh my God, you meant to leave this thing in for an hour.

Speaker 1 I think I just have to see if it's worked what right away

Speaker 1 goes well zo goes do it on the plane i was like i can't do it why not do it on the plane on the plane no because it's gonna take some time for this thing to come out

Speaker 1 anyway i go to the toilet it just slips straight back out i was like nothing's happened

Speaker 1 so we get on the plane and it's a small plane too and zoe goes go put another one in and do it in here like do you know what the person's like mate there's i was like there's one toilet in here on this plane

Speaker 1 everyone's facing forward. The toilet's at the front.
Yes. Right.
There's no business class or anything. Like, it's a small plane, but everyone's looking forward to the toilet.

Speaker 1 I could be in there for an hour. Like, I don't know how this thing's going to come out.
So I was like, I can't do it on the plane. So I go through another two hours of agony, land, put another one in.

Speaker 1 We do have a bit of a, maybe an hour wait at Johannesburg. So I'm like, if I put it in straight away, then we can wait.
So I let it kind of cook in there or whatever. And then

Speaker 1 the flight's getting called. And I was like, you've got to do it.
You've got to do it. You can't get on the plane.
You can't get on the corner plane now back to Sydney. Went into the toilet.

Speaker 1 Please, please have worked. Now, I'll spare you the really graphic details.
Please. But it didn't turn the couch into a series of

Speaker 1 tiny

Speaker 1 cushions. It still required a huge amount of effort.

Speaker 1 I came out of the toilet. The whole family's waiting there for me.
Like, how'd you go, Dad? Like, they're waiting for me.

Speaker 1 Like the end of the day. Should have had Should have had banners.
Yeah, it was this. My support crew was waiting for me because by now everyone knows what's going on.

Speaker 1 Dad's got a big, big problem, he hasn't done a particular week and he's trying to get it out before you have to float it in Australia. The relief was unbelievable, imagine, right?

Speaker 1 But the pain was ferocious as well.

Speaker 1 It probably took about 10 minutes of like hard labor to get it out. Came out.
The kids are like, I give them a thumbs up. Kids, she

Speaker 1 has done it.

Speaker 1 But like, I look at Zoe and she goes, what? What's happened to your pants? What? And so I looked down.

Speaker 1 I was wearing grey tracksuit pants and there is a massive like wet patch on the pants because I was grimacing.

Speaker 1 Like my eyes were closed through the whole ordeal and I was leaning forward and I was drooling the whole time. I thought I was like my mouth was open in pain.

Speaker 1 And I've just spent 10 minutes dribbling through my pants because I was

Speaker 1 passing this

Speaker 1 series of cricket balls like a bowling machine.

Speaker 1 I was like, well, that is an experience.

Speaker 1 That's something you don't get every day. But got it out, got it out, left it in Africa.
Keep it or delete it. I think if you keep it, you have to put it, like go back and put some disclaimer in that.

Speaker 1 You listen with your own risk. It's either keep it or delete it.
You've got to make a call. Keep it or delete it.
What are you going with? Jack, it is a medical story. It just happens to people.

Speaker 1 And I will never travel without one of those glycerine pellets. Now, I just can't go back through that.
I don't know how it happened, it's never happened since.

Speaker 1 Just a word of warning for people: keep your fiber up.

Speaker 1 Keep it, I'm delete it.

Speaker 1 You've got the final question. I don't know if I don't know.
Does the person that tells it get to make it? Yeah, it's everyone's just the three of us, we get to say.

Speaker 1 I think it's a medically important story.

Speaker 1 Another thing to tie off, which actually probably brings to end

Speaker 1 quite a saga, I reckon.

Speaker 1 This is a grab that it stems from midway through the year. This comes in from Jacinta, and

Speaker 1 we've looked into the health star ratings a few times on this show. We know there's some discrepancies, and then some companies just mysteriously choose not to play.

Speaker 1 They just won't do the food star ratings. I have to admit, Demys and Tinnies.

Speaker 1 That's who it was for.

Speaker 1 That's who it was for. She found Dimmies and Timmy's Dim Sins that Andy has a hand in.
It chooses not to play.

Speaker 1 It chooses not to play. You've got to play.
That Haddon

Speaker 1 famously said, I'll say what I want. Well, yes, it did lead to another song, and that was off this particular moment.

Speaker 1 I mean, they're really good for you. Take my time.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Just when we thought the Health Star system had question marks over it, now we've got Andy Lee five thumbs up.

Speaker 1 No, deliciously good for you.

Speaker 1 You can't say that.

Speaker 1 you can say delicious i can say what i want girl

Speaker 1 i can say what i want i'm not playing wow

Speaker 1 still throwing it out there guess what what dimmies and titties have decided did i say titties dimmies and tinnies

Speaker 1 you can say what you want mate you've made that very clear

Speaker 1 demies and tinnies dnt's dimmies have decided to play to learn about how you get the health star rating to learn from the inside to learn from the inside. Yeah, I'd love to know.

Speaker 1 Sorry, just to be clear, Dimmies and you're not Dimmies and Titties is a name. No, no, that's

Speaker 1 a good spin-off turn.

Speaker 1 I thought that was the announcement.

Speaker 1 So it turns out

Speaker 1 anyone can go to the website,

Speaker 1 calculate their health star, and then just choose to put it on their package. But how do you, don't you have to go to a lab or something to put.

Speaker 1 You have to do that anyway to put your nutritional value. On your nutritional value.

Speaker 1 Based off your nutritional value i'm going to send you that website now ham okay because i've long suspected it it it grossly penalizes you for saturated fat and it under

Speaker 1 uh it doesn't really care too much about other things because remember one of the big ones was the blue bubblegum flavored milk yeah was a four-star health rating because i think they just made it like a you know they got rid of some of the saturated fat and so i reckon saturated fat and sugar it really well pings you for my insider said you can game the system a little bit.

Speaker 1 So when you punch it into the website, does it come back and say, this is why you're getting a three stars or four stars, or does it not give you that information? I don't know. I haven't done it yet.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. You've never done it for Dimmies and Hitties.
No. We can do a live one.

Speaker 1 What if you get a half star? I guess we're choosing. Keep it or delete it.

Speaker 1 All right. Oh, this is exciting.

Speaker 1 I've clicked on it. Start calculation.
Yes. Start calculation.
What category are you in? I've been told here, I've got the instructions. Two foods.
Yep. Click.

Speaker 1 Product information. Company, Demis and Tinnies.
Let's put Demis and Dinnies. Not the spin-off we just came up with just before.

Speaker 1 Product name. DNT Dimmies.

Speaker 1 Now I've got the nutritional information here, Ham. So you just tell me what we need first.
Energy, kilojoules per 100 grams. 756.

Speaker 1 That's not too bad.

Speaker 1 Saturated fat, fat grams per hundred grams saturated fat 2.7 you're gonna do well total sugars grams per hundred grams 3.5 that's good he's gonna do very well that's less than bloody cereal sodium 534.

Speaker 1 I don't know whether these

Speaker 1 that's milligrams per 100 grams but that's Yeah, I mean, that's probably, I mean, well, they're dimmies. Like, they're not low in salt.
They're not known as a classically unsalty food. Okay.

Speaker 1 Modifying point inputs. Oh, this is huge.
These inputs calculate positive points. They increase your rating.
How much fiber do you have, grams per 100 grams? 1.8 grams. Doesn't sound high.

Speaker 1 I could have used it in Africa. Protein.

Speaker 1 Protein grams per 100 grams. 7.3.
You could label that, but by some of the food labeling you see these days, you could label these as high-protein snacks at 7%.

Speaker 1 Mate, they're doing it for peanuts. Concentrated fruit and vegetables.
Pass.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I don't know what this means, but F-V-N-L.

Speaker 1 Pass.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's fruits, vegetables, nuts, and legumes. They can have any of those in it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. What's your guess, Jack? I reckon you're going four stars, four out of five.
I reckon it's going to be four. What is it, Ham? Can it?

Speaker 1 Andy.

Speaker 1 You have received three stars.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Pretty good. I'm kind of happy with that.

Speaker 1 I reckon it's the sodium. I'm going to halve it.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah. Half the sodium.
Yep. That takes up to three and a half stars.

Speaker 1 Now chuck a bit more fiber in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, great.

Speaker 1 Let's see if you can triple the fiber to six grams. Ooh, four.
Cool.

Speaker 1 It would kill you to pop a bit. Why don't you put a bit of flaxseed or something through the dimmies? Make them high-fiber dimmies.

Speaker 1 So is there a, they said that there should be a button there that just says artwork, and you click on it, it gives, it basically gives you the it does, it does. You just print it off.

Speaker 1 Print it off, then you just put it on your own. So it's self-governed.
So are you going to play at three stars is enough for you to play? Well, play basically, but

Speaker 1 who is going to ever police it? If you just put the wrong health star on, what government body is going to go, we're pinging you for it? I asked this.

Speaker 1 She said, it requires a customer complaint to check. So someone can challenge.
Oh, so you can roll with five stars all you want until you get completely challenged.

Speaker 1 I don't think people know they can challenge.

Speaker 1 You can challenge. Well, I also feel sorry for sour cream.
I feel like challenging on behalf of them to go, I don't think you deserve half a star. Yeah, half a star.

Speaker 1 Point five always felt like the cruelest for because we're having a tiny dab. No one's eaten a bucket of sour cream as an afternoon snack.

Speaker 1 And then that's when the government body comes in and says to you,

Speaker 1 do they justify apparently? But again, it requires someone challenging it to them. And I also reckon how big a government department are we talking here?

Speaker 1 I reckon they're probably just stretched to the limit. Absolutely.
They come back and they go, justify. And you go, yeah, yeah, we took pains to lower the salt and increase the fibre.

Speaker 1 You know, feel free to come and spend 50 grand testing. And if you want, they'll be like, no, no, you're good.

Speaker 1 So are you going to play honestly or do you want to play cheekily?

Speaker 1 Tempted to play cheekily. Do a cheeky one.

Speaker 1 Do one flavour of the five stars and just see if it changes.

Speaker 1 I will look into what the punishment is. What if you do get it? I don't think I'm laughed for the company.
I'm going to go boom.

Speaker 1 Final loose end, Jack.

Speaker 1 And this was a surprise for Haim and I,

Speaker 1 but was captured. So now we'll play it to you.
So it'll be a surprise for you and everyone listening. This moment.
But Jez asked to meet up with us. Yep.
And was very serious in tone. Okay.

Speaker 1 Web geezer. Jez, not known for his serious chats.

Speaker 1 I didn't know if I was getting fired. I didn't know what was going on.
He's like, I wanted, can I have a meeting with you guys? And do you mind if I record it? So I'm like,

Speaker 1 I'll be honest. I was like, that sounds legal.
Yeah. But okay, sure, Jez.
Yeah, no worries. I thought maybe he was leaving and I don't know why he wanted to capture that.
Recording. So

Speaker 1 if he asked if he could record the

Speaker 1 meeting, okay. And so, yeah, we were like later on, in case we just deny that he left and we don't let him leave, he can go for like, I have evidence of me saying I'm leaving.

Speaker 1 But the good news is for people that and Web Keezy Jays is beloved to the team, he isn't leaving. It was a good news meeting, and this is how it went.

Speaker 1 So, I just got a little piece of paper for you guys that's got something on it.

Speaker 1 Oh my god,

Speaker 1 you found the Bitcoin password. You got it.
Anthony.

Speaker 1 You found it. Does that mean we have to give him 50%?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 He's just found it for us. He just.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry to turn into Jack immediately.

Speaker 1 No, Anthony, out of the goodness of his heart, said, guys,

Speaker 1 an adventure. I found this for you.
How long did it take?

Speaker 1 Because one is the people's Bitcoin and one's your Bitcoin. And we were just going to give him the people's.
And he said, no, it should be the people. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 How'd he find it?

Speaker 1 so it was he ran um so we had david in 2021 have a go and so he was running like quite a lot per second brute force but then anthony could run up to a billion per second combos combos and so my first zoom call so i've held on to this since you put me in uh we've got in touch oh my god

Speaker 1 i've got i've got i know i the It was in people have a Bitcoin.

Speaker 1 The weight off the shoulders. What are we going to do with this? You just feel so happy.

Speaker 1 I never thought this day would come. I know.
Like, I remember still, like, 2017 was when I said I've lost it. Yeah.
And then this was, yeah. We can't say that.
The weight off my shoulder was crazy.

Speaker 1 Tell me what the password is, but have you listened back to the hypnotist and how close did you get during hypnosis?

Speaker 1 So yeah, I was off.

Speaker 1 And what was it? Which doesn't surprise me because like if you can just hypnotise passwords out of people. So we have two Bitcoins? Two Bitcoins.

Speaker 1 One for the people, one for for yeah for mum and dad and it's locked away it's like 100 so i i went in with it with anthony and we found it and it was so so how long did it take him it took him like a like a fraction of a second

Speaker 1 like it's just so so okay i'm just saying i've got it i've got it yeah so what i did was i had one zoom call so one i had one zoom call with him it took like 45 minutes we're running heaps of options and then i was like

Speaker 1 I pa in passing I said like he was trying to say what passwords do you used to use and I was like I

Speaker 1 it was one of them, but I'll give you a bunch. And then I gave him a bunch, like, I didn't even have time to give him a bunch.

Speaker 1 He was like, within 20 minutes of the Zoom call ending, he was like, Jez, jump back on. And jump back on.
And he was like, I ran variations of.

Speaker 1 And with an 196,000 variations of a billion, it was how many runs he got it. And it was like, and basically it was.

Speaker 1 So it was like. Are we, I mean, but is it still that? No, I've changed the sentence.

Speaker 1 Have we just lost it? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I've done all the correct

Speaker 1 things now. Like, I've got two backups and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 And it's all there for us. Unbelievable.
Sorry, I was just like, hang on, hang on. Stop, stop talking, stop saying the password.

Speaker 1 Man, this is incredible.

Speaker 1 So we're coming back next year. Like, I think because it's so close to the end of the year now, it's like, let's just think about this.

Speaker 1 But we're coming back unless the price of Bitcoin craters over Christmas, and we have to come back and go, oh God, we should have sold it last year.

Speaker 1 But we're coming back next year with a Bitcoin to shower upon the people. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's just call it the moment 150 grand to somehow give back to the people.

Speaker 1 Huge, Jack. Wow.
Huge.

Speaker 1 Wow. I mean, just to see your face there was priceless because we could have just, you know, recapped quickly for people.
Of course, you know, web keys are jazz.

Speaker 1 What year was it 2000 like hot 13 or something 13 where it was like hey

Speaker 1 we should buy some bitcoin um they were 900 each if i remember correctly um so we will need that 900 back off the people

Speaker 1 um but they were 900 each Now again, and then Jez, like a few years later, was like, I'm so sorry, I've lost it. And hilarity ensued.
He felt terrible for so long.

Speaker 1 And we kept trying to say to Jez, like, you can't actually feel that bad. He didn't lose us $300,000.

Speaker 1 dollars we were trying desperately to sell the bitcoin when it was at fourteen hundred to buy and that's how we did to buy a convertible sub to make a drive

Speaker 1 yeah so that's when we discovered that we'd lost it so really jez

Speaker 1 through his lax security measures has made us a fortune huge the best of the people

Speaker 1 the gross negligent one the gross negligence has ended up in gross celebrations because the people now have a bitcoin we have to thank Anthony, of course. And a legend.

Speaker 1 His insta is at Find Your Crypto. But

Speaker 1 boy, has he got a good track record on this show? Yeah, two from two in trouble. But

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, we'll have to think about it over the summer, but we have to spend the time.

Speaker 1 We should have guessed Bitcoin's worth to the people. We're going to spend it, lavish it, lavish it upon the people.

Speaker 1 Some way. Everyone's thinking hats on.
People he can email in to over the summer, like what, over the mandate of break, what can we do with the Bitcoin next year?

Speaker 1 Should we take a guess, a Hamish Andy Jack guess at what we think the price will be when we come back? I mean, is it going to boom over the government mandated break? Is it going to dip?

Speaker 1 I'm going to go bullish at 180. I'll go 200.
I think it's going to settle at 167.

Speaker 1 MUD?

Speaker 1 What do we do with it?

Speaker 1 Well, what do we do? We were thinking, Jack, do we do like, do we, do we do a raffle where it's like one ticket to you one ticket to him

Speaker 1 surely my luck's run out now from raffles on the show wouldn't you be wouldn't you be annoyed if you're like well you know you did get the golf card so you use

Speaker 1 you used your luck up on that raffle what we have spent 350 on is the usage rights to a bg song

Speaker 1 we thought it

Speaker 1 realistically because next year make no mistake the bitcoin will be big next year big like whatever we do with the bitcoin is going to be huge and it can only have happened because of anthony this tech wizard like what a legend fan of the show alert listener of the show reached out off his own accord we should give him an eight coin coin we can give him an eight coin coin which is huge as well so i think fair

Speaker 1 i think it's a good even swap there yeah um

Speaker 1 but we we're just like we i feel like we've got to finish this this episode with a thank you to anthony and what he's done for the people off the back of this will be Burg Boys next week in the end of the year.

Speaker 1 We'll leave you with this. Thanks.

Speaker 1 Two Bitcoins, lost and lonely, and all alone.

Speaker 1 Trapped by tech, no one's ever cracked it yet.

Speaker 1 Then Anthony said, Hey, boys, can you give it to me?

Speaker 1 Just pray to God. Could he come through?

Speaker 1 He come through.

Speaker 1 Let it be true.

Speaker 1 Could he come through?

Speaker 1 Anthony, Anthony.

Speaker 1 When your husband's gone and you can't go on, call Anthony.

Speaker 1 You've had a million tries and a big, big cry. You looked everywhere.

Speaker 1 Even hypnosis has got you nowhere.

Speaker 1 But Anthony!

Speaker 1 Not sure how to do click-click wow with Anthony.

Speaker 1 With your

Speaker 1 side, you can say goodbye to remembering past words. Cause Anthony's the best, and he'll just do the rest.

Speaker 1 Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.
Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.