Pretty Little Episode #68

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This is a head gum podcast.

Pretty little episode.

Hey!

Well, first of all, welcome to the pretty little

episode.

I'm Tignotaro and you're May, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's skip past all that.

What was that?

I mean, I wasn't expecting such a response, and I'm thrilled by it because it's electrically, I'm holding a banana peel, a classic comedy prop. Yeah.

I ate the banana before we started recording, and now I'm revealing the detritus. Oh, it's so funny what you did.

You thought the little dance? It was like

yes, I did. Of course, I did.

Have you ever slipped on a banana peel? No. Do you know anyone that has ever slept on a banana peel? It must have been a thing at some point, right?

But I would think in the olden days, bananas were pretty hard to come by, pretty rare.

So I don't know when that started. The banana peels.
Have I blown your mind with this information yet?

What? Bananas are berries. Stop.

What do you mean?

Bananas

are berries. There's no way.
Okay. Look at the shape and the...
Google that up. I mean, I want it.

Bananas are berries. Really?

And you know what isn't a berry?

A blackberry. What is happening? Thomas, will you Google that up? Can I blow your mind? Always every day that I see you.
Pumpkins a fruit. Oh, of course.
Oh, I didn't know that.

Pumpkins of fruit. Wow, so a banana's a berry.
I guess it grows in bunches. I don't know what the qualities of

seeds inside. Are there banana seeds? Yeah.

Huh. There should be.
I think I've been getting some weird bananas. What I know about bananas is a lot of people die every year picking them.
It's a very dangerous job. Coconuts fall on your head.

And it's a well, and you could slip on them. Yeah, you could slip on those peels.
And there's black widow spiders that live in the bunches, you know? Oh, my gosh. Be careful out there.

Thomas, are blackberries berries? It seems like they're not technically berries. Thank you.

Thank you. Okay.
And bananas are?

Yes. Okay.
So nuts. I know.
No, not nuts. Berries.

Yeah.

One of my favorite snacks that I eat almost every day is

peanut butter on a banana and peanut butter on a

honey crisp apple oh that's good it's so good that's yeah peanut butter and bananas a i i'll do a sandwich uh like oh yeah toe toast peanut butter banana and honey drizzled yeah yeah oh come on because you don't care i don't give a you don't and i can dare yeah i dare you to keep doing that yeah do you like peanut butter on an apple yeah i like peanut butter on most things yeah yeah yeah it's not a bad food

it is delicious I wonder who started peanut butter.

I don't know. Thomas, can you let us know?

Have we gone too far?

I feel like we just finally found Thomas's line. Like we went too far in asking him to Google who invented peanut butter.
Oh, here we go.

Marcellus Gilmore Edson was a Canadian chemist,

a Canadian chemist and pharmacist. In 1884, he patented a way to make peanut paste, an early version of peanut butter.

Oh, but the ancient Incas and Aztecs also ground peanuts into a paste centuries earlier. Of course, they did.
Okay, so truth comes out.

Yeah, you can't just patent something and then say you invented it. Right.
Speaking of Canadians, I mean, this might blow your mind. I wish Fortune was here to witness it, but

I know that Katy Perry is dating Trudeau.

You do, because that's huge. Yeah,

they made their first public appearance, right? Yeah, yeah. Do you think that, like,

did their marriages dissolve because they met type thing? Or girl, I'm going to weigh in.

I'm going to say that they,

no, I think both their marriages had been on the rocks for a while, but it does seem pretty quick.

Or is it, I don't know, when Orlando I don't know, but like, or were they

keeping an eye on each other from a distance and like their dream boat became free and they're like,

hello,

I love you so and your, your legacy will be great. I mean, when I look at them together, it makes sense.

It works for me.

I hope it lasts.

I want to hear what song she writes about him. I don't know what you're saying.
Do you hope it lasts? Like,

no offense to either of them. I don't care.
I don't care if it lasts, if they broke up while we were talking.

I don't wish anyone ill will. I just, I'm not investing in it.
It doesn't affect it at all.

Yeah, I got to be honest, neither am I. I'm not that invested.
Yeah.

But

God loves them.

Yeah. And God does love them.
God loves them both. They're children of the Lord.
Yeah.

Yeah. Who else is dating that we, that we know of that's new and exciting? Let's see.

Who is dating?

Oh, Thomas is typing. Maybe he's going to reveal.
Oh, Sophie Turner and Chris

Martin?

Sophie Turner from Game of Thrones and Chris Martin from Coldplay. How'd you hear this, Thomas? Yeah, why is Tom? Thomas just came up, you know, in my newsfeed.

While we were talking about it, or girl, were you Googling hot goss? You know what?

I think I heard about Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry, and then I started kind of down a celebrity rabbit hole because of that a couple days ago.

Well, I feel like as the weather gets colder, people start coupling up. People start wanting to stay in.
They want to feel in a little lonely.

It does add an element of pressure when both people and a couple are in the limelight, right? Like or when it would be a news story for them to break up or date or like, do you ever think about,

have you guys ever been the subject of like a headline? You and Stephanie?

Well, didn't I tell you, this isn't a headline, but didn't I tell you when I went on, I don't know what I was on, must have been social media or something, but this thing popped up that said, are you involved in a May December relationship?

And the picture was me and Stephanie.

No.

Yeah. And so a May December is like an older.

Yeah. No way.
Yeah. Like with an age gap relationship.
Oh my God.

Or maybe that's what they said, an age gap relationship. And it was me and Stephanie.
That's

insane. I can send it to you.

I was like, this is hilarious.

Did you send it to Stephanie? I did. Yeah, of course.

So what's the age gap? Me and Stephanie? Yeah, is it 10? 15 years. 15 years.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Have we been in a headline? I mean,

other than just like we're celebrating an anniversary or we had babies or got married or

any of that stuff, we're not really. It is weird, like the parasocial relationships people have.
Like I feel, I feel connected to some celebrities I've never met.

I like to think of myself as being very aware that I don't actually know these people, but then you see someone out and you're like, Yeah, I know this person intimately.

Well, like, I remember hearing David Schwimmer's voice. I was in a restaurant, I heard his voice, and my I wanted to walk up to him because I was like, I know this guy.
Like,

no, you bet you don't. You can, yeah, even if you've met them

a time or two, you know, it's like, is David Schwimmer coming up to you? Is he reaching out to you?

Yeah. I do think with the podcast, especially, people do feel like they intimately know us and

those that can be tricky to navigate. Yeah.

But most people are cool and don't cross boundaries or get weird or, you know,

absolutely. Especially our handsome community.
God, they're so good. Yeah.
They're so good.

Speaking of which, shall we hear some questions? Yeah, let's hear from them. Hello, handsomes.
My name is Rhiannon, and my question is a two-parter.

First part for TIG, I'd like to know when and how did you know that Stephanie was the one for you?

And for May and Fortune, I'd like to know if you,

if and when you meet somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with, how will you know that they're the one?

It's, you know, maybe I've mentioned mentioned this before, but I remember years ago when I had met Nick Offerman and he is

what? He's the one for me. Well, yeah.
But,

you know, he's married to the actress Megan Malally.

And I remember him talking about

realizing

she was the one.

he was going to marry. And

I can't quite,

I want to revisit this conversation with him because it really struck me because it was before I had ever met somebody that I for sure knew I wanted to spend my life with.

And I remember him saying something to the effect of like,

yeah, and then I was like,

I'm going to have to marry her.

Like, she's the one I'm going to marry. Like, it was something like it could have sounded like

he's not excited, but he was like, no, no, no, it's not that at all.

I think now that I've met Stephanie and I felt that thing of like, it's undeniable, I guess. It's coming for you.
It's like an avalanche. It's like, we're getting married.
This is it.

And I used to always ask people, Nick, I think that's why he was telling me. I was like, how do you know? I was always wanting to know.
Like, how, what was, what, because.

It's that thing that before you've experienced it, you don't know how to know. Right.
How will I know? Like, like our listener is asking. And I think if it is that feeling of uncertainty,

then you haven't had that feeling. Yeah.
You know, and I for sure had it with Stephanie. I was like, oh my God, I want to marry this person.

I love that.

You know what's smart? Checking all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's what's not smart? Not checking the sky for beautiful clouds.

Even if you only have five minutes, nothing's more relaxing than watching some clouds float by. Yeah, check in first is smart.
So check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.
Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

But then also that's probably because partly partly you were both

you were ready for that. Like I think, I think we get decision paralysis and that we're overwhelmed by all the options and choice.
And

there are probably multiple people for everybody. And sometimes the person who's the one is the person who you both are just like,

we choose this. We want this.

And so we're going to choose it and keep choosing it. And then there's the thing that makes them the one is that they keep choosing it.

Well, yeah, I definitely relate to that now That, like, you know, Stephanie and I are,

I mean, obviously anything in life could happen, but I feel like we're very locked into our life and our love and family and all of that stuff. And, and, yeah, you're, you're choosing, but not because

it's like,

we're having a hard time to we're going to just choose to do this. And, but of course, there are times when it's hard and you, you make those choices to stay in it,

which is great because you should see what's on the other side of it, and maybe there's not anything. But I didn't feel out of the gate like I chose it.
I felt like it chose you.

Yeah, it's like, wow, kind of like what Nick was saying: like, yeah, well, I guess we're getting married. Yeah, you know, I want to revisit that conversation with him.
Yeah, I like that. Yeah.

Should we hear Rhiannon's answer? Yes, of course we should.

My answer to this question is that a few weeks into dating my wife, I realized that even though we spent just about every spare minute together, I never got tired of being around them. And I wanted,

I didn't want personal space. I didn't feel like I needed any space.
And so about 15 years later, here we are. I still think they're the most interesting person I've ever met.
And I just, yeah.

So I'm curious. Well, thank you for your podcast.
You are keeping us laughing in dark times. That's so nice.
I mean, it is the person you're going to spend the most time with. You have to be friends.

You have to.

I remember with Parv when we lived together, we'd often find ourselves in the kitchen, like

losing track of time, just mingling almost, like just talking. We'd be standing in the kitchen for like an hour, just talking.
And then it was like, yeah, yeah.

I love the idea of mingling with your girlfriend. Mingling in the kitchen is crucial.
Yeah. I'm going to invite Stephanie to meet me in the kitchen to mingle a bit before the day starts.

Yeah, pretend you're at a party and you found each other and you, yeah, that's great. Should we get another question? Yeah, let's do it.
Hello, I'm Indira. Sorry for my English.

I'm not a native speaker. I'm your listener from Germany.
And I have a question

to May, especially, but I would be happy to hear the answer from any of you.

So I have a niece who I could call a wayward or a trouble a troubled teenager.

And I would love to build a stronger connection to her or help my mom, her grandma, to build a stronger connection to her.

And

the question is, what can you recommend

to a relative of such a teenager to build the stronger connection?

That's a really good question. Really good.
Yeah.

I think

the temptation is to be.

Well, I think you

have to remember. So, probably this person wants to be with their friends all the time and is maybe like,

I don't know what they're struggling with at the moment, but thinking why is it that teenagers feel that pull to their friends and that sort of individuation from family where they feel like, I mean, I think everybody has that as a teenager, right?

You get so bonded.

Yes, it's so important.

But thinking, well, what could we could, I have to get to know this person as an individual. What is she like to do?

You know, if I want to connect with her, how can I connect with her with things that she's interested about? Like, take her somewhere that is in line with her interests. Or, and

yeah, like instead of being like, why won't she come to the family dinner and like sit? Yeah, so you're like, hey, take me to your ideal day. Show me your ideal day, start to finish.

Where you want to eat, where you want to go, introduce me to your friends. I'm so curious about your life.
Totally. And I think

a judgment-free place for her to talk. Like, if you want her to open up to you, then

when she does, you've got to hold that. Like, you can't, you, you have to be non-reactive.
You have to listen. And

yeah, because

I think it's so easy to tell people to be honest, but it has to be a safe environment for them to be honest in, you know?

Yeah, but that's tough. I mean, I would, yeah, I would just resist any like labeling of her or

pathologizing, like just really

help her to feel that this is a fluid transitional time and that. Yeah, maybe sharing stories about your own life and

naturally putting that into a conversation of times that you were maybe feeling a little off track or confused or troubled in some way. And I know when I've shared things with Mac since then,

the struggles as a kid,

they're blown away. Oh, they like, yeah, kids love to hear the stories.
Yeah, they're like, you really, Mary? You didn't, and I'm like, no, I didn't. Yeah.
You can't believe it.

I would also say, like, pick your battles. Like, if, like, this is a like, for example, and I'm sure this is not the situation, but let's say this person's like

doing Coke or doing drugs or like, then

if they are going to hang out with you on the condition that they can smoke a cigarette around you, like, let them do that for now. Like, if, you know what I mean? Or, or,

yeah, like, pick your battles and let them, let them be,

as long as they're not putting themselves in danger.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not being very articulated.

I want to know who you are. Yeah, yeah.

Like, my, my friend Carolyn Taylor, who I've talked about so much, who would just, when I was like on sofas and such a mess, and she would just take me for a burger once a month.

And sometimes we'd do laser tag or we'd do painting. And it was like sober activities that were really fun.
And I would look forward to it. And I could, I could be a mess and I could,

I could smoke cigarettes. And you know what I mean? But I looked forward to it all month and it was so wholesome.
Yeah. I think that's great.
Yeah.

Well, thanks for reaching out, asking the questions, and

just

really, really appreciate you guys and gals and they D's and Vem Ds and everybody. We do.
Yeah.

And share episodes with friends, help build the community. I've been really enjoying the advice questions, like that one from Indira,

that's juicy.

Yeah, but anything. Yeah, we remain open.
We remain open.

If you have like an encounter with a ghost or something that you want to share, I'd like to hear it. May's all ears and wide eyes.
And go to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod to submit your questions.

Yeah, share episodes, rate, review, check out YouTube, all of it. And

I don't know, until next time,

keep it

pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Themster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willette.
Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com.

Follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

What a podcast. What a podcast.
What a podcast.

That was a headgum podcast.

You know what's smart? Checking all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know, it's not smart.

Not checking that you packed your favorite sweater for a weekend up in the mountains.

My favorite sweater is so warm that I can only wear it in the coldest weather, so I take it every opportunity that I can get. Yeah, checking first is smart.

So check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.
Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.