Highlander II: The Quickening LIVE! w/ Sam Richardson (HDTGM Matinee)

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A famous Highlander once said,

There can only be one.

Unfortunately, the producers of this movie did not listen to that Highlander.

We saw Highlander 2, The Quickening, so you know what that means.

How we staying alive, they call it in the badass and he's on the line.

Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice.

Cause of bad Jim Barney looking kind and nice.

Paulin' Junior in literal.

Jason is getting laid.

June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid.

They judge a bunch of movies while they're making the grade.

Here's a real question for you: how did this get made?

Hello, people of Earth, and hello, people of Largo.

Welcome, Welcome!

We are here at Largo at the Coronet, our LA home for our live shows, and we are so excited to talk to you about another sequel, following in the brave footsteps of Greece 2.

A sequel made about

years late and not asked for.

But unlike Greece 2, this movie makes zero sense.

So

here to help me dissect Highlander 2 The Quickening, I will tell you, I have some amazing people.

Number one, please welcome Jason Manzuch.

What's up, Jerks?

What's up, Jason?

How are you, Paul?

I am excited.

Thrilled to be here.

Very rarely backstage

do we stop ourselves from even, we couldn't even talk about this on the basis of levels backstage.

I came in hot.

I was like, I want to talk about this

as of right now, starting go.

You were talking about it in your car on the way over.

Talking to myself.

Just ranting and raving.

Probably like the screenwriter.

Why can't I get porcupine hair?

It's one of the things I said to myself.

Well, we will find out that and much more.

But first, let me introduce my other co-host, the wonderful, the talented, the June, Diane Raphael.

June!

Welcome!

Welcome, June!

Hi.

Welcome.

Hi, Paul.

How are you?

Very well.

Very well.

How are you?

June, I will say.

Backstage two, you guys introduced yourselves to each other.

Yeah.

June and I's relationship is...

How many introductions would you say do we give each other in a day, like a random day?

12?

About, yeah, about 12.

Just to be clear, is introductions a euphemism?

No, it's, you know, they say it's like the key to a successful marriage, to really see someone anew every time.

Identify yourself at all points.

I'll say, hey, June, it's Paul.

And she's like, it's just June.

And we'll move on with our day.

I will say,

backstage, you were like, I think we've met before.

She looks damn familiar to me.

You'll place me sometime.

I will say, June,

and I will, I'm not saying that I was above it at all, but watching this movie with you was particularly enjoyable simply because it was like

watching a person who never has studied take an SAT

and there was frustration and there was anger and there was yelling.

Yeah, we'll get into that.

But this is what I'll say.

I feel like it's the picture of the woman in Times Square in Westworld.

Like, it caused you to short circuit.

What?

I kept on saying, I mean, I don't know how many times I said to you, do you know what's going on?

I felt very scared that I had missed so much.

But here's the thing.

I didn't understand any of it, but I also didn't care to understand it.

That's the other part of that, and it's so important.

I didn't care to, and that's what made me angry.

Well,

buckle up

joining us tonight, a very special guest.

You've seen him in the movie Office Christmas Party.

You can watch him on the television show Veep.

He has a brand new Comedy Central show called The Detroiters coming out in February.

Please welcome Sam Richardson.

Welcome.

Welcome, Sam.

And I apologize, because this is a tougher movie than we normally do.

I don't know what it was.

It could have been forwards or backwards.

I at some point wrote, was this cut out of order?

I wrote this.

Michael Ironsides appears to be able to be everywhere at once.

I wrote down this and I mean it with 100% sincerity.

This is not for comedic effect.

A majority of this film, I spent not understanding anything that was.

Okay, well, here's, I'm so happy to hear that for this very reason.

Early on into the movie, I realized something very important.

Okay.

I have never seen Highlander.

As such,

I was like, oh,

this must be all Highlander stuff

that I'm not aware of because I didn't see Highlander.

I'm glad to hear that you guys also felt like it was absolute gobbledygook.

Well, let me tell you something, Jason.

Tell me, please.

If you were a Highlander fan, you also would not understand the cut.

Apparently what has happened is

they decided, well, yeah, Highlander was good, but we can't just continue those characters.

Let's just get rid of everything that we set up and create a brand new world.

Just so there is nothing

in 2024.

No, what?

Literally,

this is not the world of the first movie?

Not at all.

I'm being very serious.

Whoa!

There is nothing about this movie that is

like technically a single movie.

Is the first one travel time?

Well, the first movie goes back to like the days of actual Highlanders.

Yeah,

but then it's just 1985 and then like the 1500s or right, yeah.

They're in like the Scottish Highlands.

Yeah, exactly.

Like Scotsman.

But sometimes when they're

in the Scottish Highlands, he's got a machine gun.

That made no sense.

I couldn't crack that at all.

Well, that was like some Zardoz level nonsense.

Well,

it's interesting.

It isn't.

Well,

whatever's about to follow, I guarantee is not interesting.

Well,

here's what I will put down, and I'll just throw it out there, because I think it's worthy, because there's probably some people who watch The Renegade Edition, which is the director's cut, and there's some people who probably just watched regular Highlander 2, The Quickening.

The big difference.

By the way, this all makes me sick.

Like, all these words make me fucking sick.

Fucking hate this.

I hate it.

The big difference that they made with this movie was

that in the sequel, the Highlanders are from the planet Zeist

and they are coming from another planet to come to Earth.

What?

Yes.

Now the renegade cut

cuts that out.

Yes.

They don't

in this movie

They shot it

in theory going interplanetary travel.

Yes.

As well as time travel?

So the Highlanders live in another planet and they come here.

So they don't live in the Scottish Highlands Highlands.

Which, by the way,

that might explain why he had a machine gun.

Because that was not olden days.

That was current

Zeist days.

Current Zeist days, just on another planet.

I didn't know that watching this.

And I'm so glad that because I was watching that movie, like, I'm going to do a bad job with this because I'm the only one who doesn't understand what's happening.

No, I felt like I didn't understand why

Christopher Lambert was old.

Lambert.

I didn't understand why he kept falling asleep in the opera.

I didn't understand why the opera was being terribly lip-synced.

Terrible.

Like, they spent so much money on that opera house, that stage.

Just get the fucking opera singing.

Sing the fucking song.

And then I also felt like

he was flashing back to this other, now I'm realizing, planet where he is like the Neo of the Royal.

Rhylanders but the renegade

the renegade cut does not allow you in on that fact like oh like you can't what is the renegade cut the one that we watch that's the director's version the director was you watched renegade the best Lorenzo Llamas no

the wait that's the cut you watched I mean well that's what it's called the renegade cut if you watched it on iTunes I didn't okay oh I didn't.

I watched it on Ulu.

Oh.

You might have watched it.

Well, we'll find out.

Well, if you don't know about the Zeiss, do you know about Zeiss?

I know nothing about Zeist.

I know nothing about Zeiss.

If you watch the Renegade cut, you don't know about the Zeus.

Okay, yeah.

I was like, oh, what is Zeiss?

Austin.

I am.

What is it?

Zeiss!

There's a lot of words that I'm saying.

Just so you understand what's going on here that makes a difference.

If you say Zeiss again, I'm going to punch you right in the middle.

Right in the middle.

I don't want to hear Zeist.

I don't want to hear Renegade.

I don't want to hear Quickening.

I don't want to hear Highlander.

We were going to have a tough time there.

When we were there watching the trailer and it goes, Highlander 2, the quickening.

June goes, The Quickening?

Didn't know that was the name of the movie.

And I was like, I get it.

Why would you?

Well, let's hear what the producer has to say about this movie and how you can enjoy it.

It's a sequel because the characters do pick up

25 years later from when the first movie ended, and we had to resolve those issues.

But it's also a picture that stands completely by itself.

It is a story that has a beginning, a middle, and an end, leaves us with an opening to go forward again for another picture.

But if you've never seen the first Highlander, you should be able to, we felt, watch this one, understand it, and enjoy it.

You are wrong.

Absolutely not.

You can tell it's like sick of that question.

I don't know.

Well, here's the problem.

The first movie, Sean Connery dies,

as a big, like, part of the movie.

Yeah.

And for the second movie, Christopher Lambert was like, well, I like Sean Connery.

We should bring him back.

And they're like, well, he's dead.

He's like, well, I won't make this movie.

And they're like, all right, we'll bring him back.

Was Highlander 2 that big of a success?

I mean, Highlander 1, I'm sorry.

Did it necessitate this kind of, like, everybody was clamoring for that Highlander sequel?

I don't have that research in front of me.

Yeah.

I would imagine that people wanted.

I mean, Highlander seems like a movie people talk about.

People talk about it.

It had a great queen soundtrack everybody loved.

You know, but

I don't know if the TV show was inspired by like The Quickening or if it was from

what was The Highlander about?

What?

What was The Highlander about?

Sam, you could probably take it.

Yeah, I think

I'll down on the explanation hat.

Connor.

Connor McLeod.

Connor McLeod.

Played by Christopher Lombert.

Played by Christopher Lombert.

It was a Scottish Highlander and the leader of a tribe.

I can't remember the name of the tribe.

But they're warring with another tribe.

He's in war.

Clan McLeod.

Clan McLean.

That's the name of his clan.

And he's playing with an other guy.

And then in a battle, he gets harmed

and then

he recovers overnight.

And everybody's like, oh, he's a witch.

Turns out he's one of these Highlanders who cannot die unless their heads are removed.

But he didn't know that.

He didn't, so he's just finding out in the moment.

He's like, Wait a minute, what's all this?

Uh-oh, Zoinks, I'm immortal.

And he's like,

How does he get to 1985?

He's been living lives, not dying.

And the way it is, it's like two highlights.

There can be only one.

That means, so like,

it's hard to explain.

There's a bunch of don't worry about it.

One of these fucking nerds will help us

if we need it.

I want to see if I can do this.

So, like, they have to all, there's a bunch of Highlanders who are these immortal beings who, like, but then they do battle because there can be only one.

So, they all fight each other over time and they kill each other by removing their heads.

And then, what happens is the quickening, where, like, electricity goes and they gain like

power

from the

essence of the dead highlanders.

Yeah, I hear people like, no, am I wrong?

Is that not right?

Okay, all right.

Something's feeling right about.

So they basically just took.

This isn't helping me understand the movie I watched any better.

But like, thank you.

So Sean Connery's head is chopped off at the end of that movie.

Yes, because he's a Spaniard who comes.

He's a Ramirez.

Ramirez.

Who comes to teach him the ways of the Highlander.

He is not a Spaniard at all.

And he teaches him about Highlandering and then has his head chopped off as a huge, you know,

like, oh, no, now I've got to avenge my master.

It's like the older people.

A couple more questions.

A couple more questions.

So, like, on a day-to-day basis, like, what does a Highlander do?

Like,

it's a lot of

wrist training for a lot of spins like this.

They're warriors, though.

They're warriors.

It's like, but then when not highlanding, they are titans of industry and developing earth-protecting shields.

Well, no,

that's what I'm trying to get at, which is like, what do they want out of life?

You know, what do they...

They just want to keep that head on, baby.

Isn't that a good thing?

Exactly.

Keep that head on.

They're living a life of fear, knowing at one point someone's going to come around and try to chop their head off.

Try to chop the head off.

That's why you always have a sword on.

You don't have to be a Highlander to fight a Highlander.

Like, you don't fight, you don't take on a Highlander to gain immortality.

You have to be also immortal.

You already have to be in the club.

You can't, like, get get it, you don't, you can't get access to it from the outside.

So, with this phrase, there can only be one side.

So, yes.

So,

they have to battle each other until, like, for all time, until they're one left, and then they win what's called the prize.

What?

What?

The prize?

Yep, and I'm murky on what the prize is.

Does anyone know the prize?

Mortality mortality.

Mortality.

That's right.

Mortality.

Because also you can die.

I would imagine, yes, that most of them are tired of living and would love to.

But why, hey, okay, another question.

If I'm a Highlander and I want to end it all, I can't kill myself via decapitation.

I don't think they addressed it in the film.

The suicidal tendencies of Highlanders.

Highlanders.

So that movie takes this beautiful history and flushes it down the toilet.

They just keep the head knocking off part of it.

Like that's really the only part that we really get, I guess.

Wow.

And that name is wild.

And the names and the names.

Because he doesn't even seem to be that surprised when Sean Connery pops up and they're like, oh, yeah, your head got, you know, there was no

Ramirez, my old friend.

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Can I ask another very basic question about this movie?

Why do they want the shield down?

Oh, okay.

This is now about the sequel.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Well,

I understand that.

So basically, this will help us because,

again, it's one of those movies when you see in the beginning, this is

now become a trope of a How Did This Get Made movie, where the opening text makes a lot more sense at the end of the movie, and I feel like they should replay the opening text maybe midway through or at the end to be like, oh, right, yeah.

Every 10 minutes, just pop that thing up there.

More text crawls is what this needed.

It needs to be like a silent movie.

Just like indiscriminately throughout the movie, just text blocks.

Well, I mean.

The year is 2024.

So the first one, the year is 2024.

Second one, industrial pollution has destroyed the ozone layer, leaving the planet at the mercy of the sun's ultraviolet rays.

An electromagnetic shield now protects the planet.

Which, by the way, is also in

Escape from LA.

Yes.

The same idea of like the UV tomorrow is going to be real bad.

It's right all there.

I mean, this is what everyone's afraid of, the UV rays.

And it goes, a small group believes that the ozone layer has repaired itself and that the shield is no longer necessary, but no one knows for sure.

I read that, Paul.

I got that.

You got that?

I got that.

So?

So

I understand that they're not sure, but what I don't understand is why

I guess why that other guy is keeping the shield up if there's no, like, what are they gaining from it?

Oh, money.

Money?

Money, yeah.

I think, wait, you're talking about the bad guy?

John John McGinnis.

John McGinnis?

Yeah.

He's making money.

His company makes money.

So, okay, I guess here's the question.

Are we to believe that the world has fallen into, that people are, you know, just turned into animals and there's despair everywhere because of this shield?

What?

Because they can't see the sky?

I do think that that is a little bit what,

what's her name, Louise?

Yes.

Says to him is like, like, nobody has seen the sun, like, nobody, like, everybody.

When she talks about the sun, she almost gets like real horn dog for it.

Like, she's like, oh, tell me about the clouds.

That's quite foreplay for them.

And what, well, like, did video cassette players or DVD players not exist?

Like, could they not watch it?

Go back and look.

Yeah, I feel like there's a book around or something.

And if they've got TVs in their cars, you'd think they'd have

a way to watch stuff from the past.

It's 2024.

Okay, I guess the other question is: so, how is the corporation making money off the shield?

Charging countries

for protection, it's protection money, ozone protection.

Yeah,

but then that shield comes down.

But it's tough because that's one of five plots that are running concurrently

and told to you with not the proper backstory.

In the beginning, Christopher Lambert is doing his best, Jean-Claude Van Damme doing an old man, which is like talking like

this.

But like, still the same speed that he would speak in as a young man.

But now I'm in the back of the game.

But when he has to move, he is sprightly.

Yeah.

Also, like, yeah, because he, because like in the beginning, like you see him look down at this old man and he kind of tips his opera goggles to him.

But we don't have to go.

Opera goggles.

Right?

Or does it like?

Do they have goggles or is it glasses?

Do you bring your opera goggles?

Sorry, it was glasses.

It was glasses.

I want to be able to see the opera that's happening underwater.

It's 2024.

You love that shit.

Opera opera.

That's why it looked like it was a dub.

So Christopher Lambert, so he's old at this point.

Now, just to go back to the first movie,

do they get old?

No,

but he won the prize.

Right?

Is that right?

So he won the prize.

So now he ages.

and so when he gets that cut on his hand and he sees it heel like Wolverine's like shit.

He's like shit.

Here we

here we go again essentially is what he's and there's no reason to why he lost the prize.

Yeah

in this they say in this thing

they say

the priests say to Michael Ironside, right?

Yes.

Both of these movies have like all of my favorite character actors from

When Michael,

because I watched this one first, Michael Ironside's and I was like, oh, yeah, Michael Ironside's the original Powers booth.

And then

in the next movie, Stacey Keech, and I was like, Stacey Keech, the original Powers booth.

I was like,

these are titans of villainous character actors from the 80s and 90s.

They are so happy.

There's so much, and I think John C.

McGinley falls in that category too.

So much beautiful scene shooting.

It's like, ah,

and even Sean Connor is like, fuck it.

Like, people are acting their asses off in this movie.

But the priests say to Michael Ironside, he's not chosen whether he's going to grow old and die or whether he's going to come back here, which is apparently something called Zeiss, which is where they are.

And I'm assuming fight Michael Ironsides for supremacy, right?

Yeah, I guess that's part of it.

But here's my question.

After that moment, when he gets zapped.

Then Michael Ironsides is like, well, I guess I'll go to him then.

Right, but when he gets zapped, he's going to the future, correct?

Correct.

So he's not aging.

Okay.

Yeah.

He starts aging in the future from whatever age he was at the moment he was zapped into that future.

Correct.

I think at that point, I'm assuming.

Well, at that point.

At that point, when there's two Highlanders, aren't they both immortal?

Yes.

I mean, there can only be one.

I think we're going to be unsatisfied if we think we're going to figure it out.

Yeah.

Well,

here's why we'll never figure it out.

They shot three endings.

There are three cuts of this movie.

And the director left at a certain point.

So

there are some giant plot holes in it.

When he kills both the porcupine boys,

and what I've now found out is the quickening.

The quickening happens and he absorbs their power.

There is an explosion of energy all around him.

Windows, cars explode, windows are blown out.

Yes.

The number of civilian casualties

that must have died simply so that he could become young, handsome Lambert again.

It was worth it.

It was worth it.

And it seems like it both hurts him when the quickening happens, and it seems like he's coming.

Which is like sex.

Yeah, that is sex.

Just take a listen to this.

This is another clip from the documentary of the making of this movie about the actors understanding the movie.

I'd never been in and have never since been in a situation where the plug was pulled and you actually thought to yourself, well, hang on, have we finished the movie?

It was a complete nightmare.

All of a sudden, people who had been allowed in the cutting room were not allowed in the cutting room.

All the creative shifted.

You had a new set of bosses.

Different producers came in.

At the end of the day, we're just like a horse with a different rider on it.

And all of a sudden, this rider was like totally into purely finishing the film from an insurance company standpoint.

So you have an actor going, I don't know if we finished the movie.

Wow.

So that would be...

Well, see, that's why I feel like, because there were scenes where Michael Ironside from scene to scene was like, okay, for example, in the scene where they leave the Max prison, guys, I don't fucking care about the order of this movie.

Yeah,

they think they did.

So they run Michael Ironside over it with the truck.

Louise is like, ha ha, that was amazing.

Like, and then he fights Christopher Lombert on the truck.

Sure.

They knock him off and they keep driving.

Then they are, they're driving to climb the ladder to see above the shield.

Cut to Michael Ironside in a room with John C.

McGinley.

He's like, we don't have any idea where they're going.

Like, you just fell off the car.

Like, where were you?

Where were you when you fell off the car?

You're not much farther from there.

Like, why did you come back?

He got an Uber.

He went back.

He was like, I lost it.

And they have a scene which is genuinely like John McGinley.

He's like, I don't know.

And it's like, how did you get back here so fast?

What the fuck is going on?

And I think that's not meant to be there.

Well, of course not.

Like, I mean, this movie, like, well, I...

I think I figured out that this was not a very well-made movie.

I felt like all the fight scenes in this movie was like watching a theme park stunt show.

It was like they would shoot something and like a giant piece of a balcony would fall off.

Gun.

And they're like, wait, how would that like happened?

And like a sharply cut off piece of balcony.

Like no like fray at the edge.

Yeah.

Just

like you know that there's a guy at the bottom like shows over.

And it goes right back in the base.

And the guy who's on a wire who's got like he's got wings.

Yeah.

One of the porcupine boys.

Porcupine boys have

one dude's got a hoverboard.

Yeah.

And that shit is nonsense.

When Lombert jumps on the hoverboard and starts flying around

and then and then he's being chased by a porcupine boy with wings.

Yeah.

They're both moving so slowly.

They're both moving at such slow, deliberate paces.

It's shitty beyond belief.

Now, I'll tell you who was really nervous about that hoverboard scene, Robert Zemeccus, because

Back to Future 2 is not out yet.

Oh, shit!

Oh, no.

So they got real freaked out from Highlander.

If Highlander 2 gave us anything, they gave us cooler hoverboards.

Marty McFly would have been on these like.

I felt like this is where, like, the watch house keys were like, ooh, I know what we can do in Jupiter Ascending.

We'll give him

flying boots.

The problem is the board.

But now,

you guys might know this, but when do you think this movie was made?

I know when it is, but it doesn't feel like it was.

2024?

2024?

I'm gonna say

1987.

Okay.

No, 1990.

Got it.

I'm going to price this right at 1991.

1991.

100% identifying.

But this is crazy because it doesn't feel like these are the movies that were their contemporaries.

Terminator 2.

Yeah.

Like

Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, and Beauty and the Beast.

Like, this is like, if this feels like, I mean, maybe it's just the fact that they shot it in Buenos Aires.

It's like, you know, like old cameras

taking shots at Buenos Aires.

But weirdly, though, there's a couple of scenes, like the scene with

Sean Connery where he's trying on the suit.

Like, that looks, I love that scene.

I was genuinely.

I loved it.

I loved it.

It was the best scene.

Because it was so funny.

It was a movie.

Exactly.

It felt like a movie, and it looked like a movie.

Yeah.

I was like, finally, I understand a character's wants in a scene from beginning to end, and they are unchanged.

By the way,

it's not like I know what he wanted at the beginning of that scene, and then a bunch of nonsense happened, and then I don't know where we are now.

The man simply wants a suit.

And I also felt like, why didn't they ever make a prank show where Sean Connery just got on stage during Broadway productions and interrupted?

That was my favorite scene.

That was the best.

And like, by the end of it, the audience was on board.

Oh, yeah.

He comes and interrupts the middle of Hamlet.

It starts like making fun of Hamlet.

And he's interrupting a show and the audience gets on his side.

They start out like this, like, ha ha ha ha ha, what, this guy?

And then he just bows and they're like, yeah!

Bravo!

What's there?

Why does Sean Connery land where he lands?

Why when Christopher Lombert says, I need you, Ramirez, my old friend,

and thus conjures him, why doesn't Sean Connery show up?

Is there something in there that seems to say that the shield bounces him away?

Well,

I have a theory.

Oh, yeah, okay.

I think it's because he was decapitated in Scotland that he returned

to Scotland.

Okay.

I'll take it.

All right, I like that.

The nerds agree.

The odd part of this, when he does appear in Scotland, and this is a screen grab, which if you're listening, you can't see, is everyone's dressed like they're from the 1940s.

Which is also hard to, like, oh, so in Scotland, they kind of stopped.

Like, they stopped.

They went backwards almost because the shield only went up in 1999.

So they went backwards in time.

Yeah, you would think they would be dressed.

Oh, who cares?

One of my favorite scenes in this movie was early on.

There's a few.

Should we see that Hamlet scene, by the way?

Is it worth.

Just because we have it, and it's one of my, I think it's the best scene in the movie here we go just real quick

alas poor yaric

I knew him Horatio actually the name is Ramirez

I'm a Spaniard excuse me

a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.

Forgive me for interrupting your conversation, but he hath borne me upon his back a thousand times.

Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft.

Sir,

whatever you gentlemen felt for each other when your friend was still alive is certainly none of my affair.

What's your fucking game, shithead?

Shithead?

What's a shithead?

My apologies.

Enough of this useless banter.

I shall be on my way and leave you to converse with your scum.

Farewell, dear shithead.

Also, stage manager, very upset.

Also, and also,

good on that actor for watching a man operate on stage and then trying to continue the scene.

Yes.

Professional.

Professional.

And also, when he makes his exit, who's playing the bagpipes?

Well,

by the way.

Who's playing the bagpipes for the Spaniard who has appeared on stage?

They play bagpipes in every scene that he is in.

That is like his under.

He has has like a motif like it's underneath.

Like, oh, we got to play bagpipes, remind people.

Very subtle.

And I also feel like there was a point where Sean Connery was like, the reason why he has that scene where he gets in a suit is just because he's like, I'm not wearing this fucking Highlander outfit.

I'm going to work for three days tops.

You're going to pay me $10 million.

And I'm going to wear a nice suit.

And guess what?

I'm keeping it.

He looks great.

I also just like that Sean Connery is like notorious for picking the wrong movies.

It's amazing.

He was supposed to be in Lord of the Rings.

He's like, no, I'll do League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

He was supposed to be in The Matrix.

He's like, no, thank you.

Like he's turned down every good movie and just been like, yep, Highlander 2, where do I sign?

Only if you make the origin story that we started on another planet and get zapped here, who knows why?

Then I'll do it.

That's my Sean Connery impression.

It was great.

I liked it.

I think it's pretty good.

June,

I interrupted you before you played that scene.

Did you have a thought there before?

Oh, I was thinking the female characters in this movie are insane.

The woman in the bar in an early 60s.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

I am so obsessed with.

It's a performance unlike anything I've ever seen.

It was really quite something.

Like so many facets of it.

I always wanted to meet the guy that turned the world to shit.

Well, he saved our lives if you asked me.

I'm not asking you.

Okay.

What do you want?

Did you ever think about that before you covered the sky with that puke?

I work all day and my life stinks, and it's your goddamn fault, you old bastard.

Don't turn your back on me.

Hey.

There are some people in this world

who know when to stop

and some people who don't

Which kind are you?

Okay, Miss Nobody, you're out of here.

Come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

Take it back.

No problem.

I'm sorry, Mr.

McCloud.

What's up?

Stop!

I love the runaway.

I love her.

I love her.

I love that she runs away.

Okay, I'm obsessed with her, and I'm also obsessed with the woman on the airplane.

Oh,

obsessed.

Also,

also, why does the plane appear to be from the 1940s?

Also, on that plane, why is the instructional video come on halfway through the damn flight?

Also, why does it end with a plane crash?

Why does the safety video for the plane end with the plane crashing?

There's a lot of footage of the plane.

Arrowing footage.

It is, I would argue, worse than any airplane disaster movie you've ever seen.

That's really scary.

You used to calm passengers mid-flight.

Mid-flight.

It is crazy.

Sean Connery appears to be like, he also is in the air for like days

of movie time.

So much happens to Lombert while Connery's in the air.

It's all this movie.

I wanted to ask you guys what he meant by this because they go, would you like some food?

They show him some food and he goes, I won't eat anything.

I can identify.

And then

he kind of says,

like, but that's not always the case.

Yeah.

To a woman.

Yeah.

Because I can't always identify that puss.

Yeah.

I mean, but that's an extra moment.

And don't get me wrong.

I'll chow down on it.

Even if it's an unidentifiable puss.

And those are the lines that got Sean Connery two sexual harassment lawsuits during the filming of this movie over nine days.

What?

What are you talking about?

Are you saying that that scene in the movie was they didn't know he was being filthy?

I want to improvise a line just a bit.

Oh my god, that's amazing.

But yeah, like that was an odd way to come on to a woman because it also,

she's kind of liked it.

I mean

I've never seen a person laugh harder at anything in my life.

You do have to be like, if you turn down putting stuff in your mouth and you want to get with the lady next to you, you do have to assure her that you do indeed put stuff in your mouth.

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I love the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast, and you will too, because every week, Seth sits down with fellow SNL alum in comedy, music, sensations, the Lonely Island.

to discuss their wildly popular and groundbreaking series of SNL digital shorts that aired on Saturday Night Live beginning in 2005.

Now, I was a super fan of those shorts.

It made me tune back into SNL.

And now each week we get to go on a deep dive to discuss how each short was created because it was such a limited period of time.

And does it still even have impact to this day?

And the answer is oftentimes yes.

You know, aided by Seth, the guys will relive their time at SNL because they were all there together, okay?

This is a time when, honestly, Putting an internet sketch online was a big deal.

And the Lonely Island were at the forefront of that.

Listen to new episodes of the Seth Meyers and Lonely Island podcast every Tuesday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and anywhere else podcasts are found.

Do you identify with Louise when she sees the raw masculinity of Christopher Lambert?

She

just...

That's a good idea.

I have a lot to say about that scene.

I mean, ultimately, it was just like this same haircut, like making it out and fucking, like, watching like two people have the same haircut.

Do you think that's what was attractive to her?

Is she saw herself in his hair?

He's just an egotist.

She was like a wild.

And she's just a narcissist.

They do not know each other.

He

throws her in a dumpster

as an old man.

Like a child's magic trick.

When she comes out of the dumpster, he's a young man, so she raw dogs him

in the street.

Against a wall in the street.

She's like, you were old moments ago.

I've come out of a dumpster.

You're young.

Put it inside me.

Now, that's what I'm saying.

He does that.

He does it quite quickly.

Oh, he just goes for it.

And by the way, they're just making out.

And I was like, okay, cool.

Maybe a make out.

But they are hard making out.

She's making out with his chin and he shoves it in and comes.

Yeah.

He just came.

We just watched him come.

It was quick.

It was quickening.

Thank you.

Thank you, guys.

Guys, guys.

Guys, thank you.

Guys, I'd like to accept my howdy for the no.

You gotta wait two and a half some odd years before the next one comes out.

And here's the thing I'll say on her behalf.

First of all, let's not just entirely blame her for this.

I mean,

completely.

Yeah, he attacks her.

Okay.

But it does seem like there's an energy to this world where people are just fucking in the streets.

That's in the opening scene.

It's not a crazy scene.

It starts on the opening scene.

There's a woman being fucked on a mattress.

That was really disturbing.

Disturbing.

Not cool.

No, yeah.

I wouldn't say fucked.

I would say being raped, right?

Yeah.

She didn't seem entirely constant.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like a real loving relationship.

This just seems like.

She started off real nice.

This is like a real, this is like, hey, a great meat-cute, as you would call it.

Very Harry Mitsally moment.

She watched him de-age

decades.

And stand out of a fire.

Yes.

And then he'd ask her, who are you?

And then they fuck.

She's like, I want some of this.

I got to, you know, oh my gosh.

That isn't, this is a very intense scene because there's, that's the only connection between them.

And then in the next scene, she explains the entire

15 seconds I just counted it oh

that's 15 seconds of penetration and he came I mean probably he hasn't fucked in like hundreds of years but that is no not true because we do find out that he's had wives and girlfriends.

You're right, you're right.

But like that was 15 seconds of sex.

At which point, like, that's disappointing, I think.

Sometimes Highlanders can't hold it back.

And he doesn't apologize.

He's not like, my bad.

Give me a minute.

I'll go again.

He's proud of himself.

Yeah, he's like, I did it.

Yeah.

He's like, there can be only one.

The original way

this last time, Jason.

I'm not sure.

The original way Ramirez came in with his Ramirez, I need your help.

And Sean Connery from behind, and it's a very awkward.

That's not the renegade cut.

He's like, I'll help you, Highlander.

I'll eat anything I can't identify.

Seconds later, though, this scene happens, which is, I think,

always there's things in these movies.

Title cards, flying skateboards, skateboard scenes, and then a movie, and then this point, which is like probably about 30 minutes in, where they just go, okay, shit, the audience is lost.

How about this?

Oh, amazing.

See if I can get this straight.

You're mortal there, but you're immortal here until you kill all the guys from there who have come here,

and then you're mortal here.

Unless you go back there,

or some more guys from there come here,

in which case you become immortal here again.

Something like that.

Of course, it would be something like that, wouldn't it?

Even he's not sure.

He's not sure.

I think that was the actress legitimately asking and and was being filmed.

It was a pre-before they called action.

And there's a moment there where he looks down at sides and is like, I don't know.

I mean, this whole movie reeks of

additional recording later or some wide shot.

Say this as quick as you can, Virginia Madison.

Okay, so here's the plot.

You came here and I didn't.

There's no, like, that's like, thank God they had that wide shot to shove that all in.

Guys, there's so much to talk about.

Oh, please.

Go ahead, Sam.

Sorry.

Sorry.

My other favorite thing about this scene is that he just got back from being an old man.

So now he's a young man.

And he just got home and he's got denim jeans that fit so sweet and tight.

Did they stop at a store on the way home?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, he really got into a naive.

He walked out of the fire dressed like a fashionable young man.

No, he walked out of the fire in the same clothes as the old man, but the clothes didn't burn.

Are the clothes immortal?

Yeah, but we like the clothes.

Oh, that's an interesting question.

It's not even like the Hulk.

It's not like the Hulk where his clothes are ripped and tattered.

They are completely just hanging on.

Because that makes total sense.

Yeah.

I wanted to also talk about the psychic cooking show.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, it's my favorite part.

Psych favorite cook.

Psychic cook.

So, what was going on?

Psychic cook and the airplane video are part and parcel of the same thread of insanity that's running through this movie.

It's like these two moments of what entertainment is.

So again, we're 25 years under the dome.

It's 2024.

And now there is a psychic cook who's calling ghosts and then like cooking next to them as they choke each other.

Yeah, that was the thing.

Why is that ghost killing the other ghosts?

That's entertainment, baby.

I couldn't figure this out at all.

So it's a world in which ghosts exist and can be broadcast over TV.

That's another part of this And that's why probably people are fucking this.

And it seems like a very highly regarded show.

Huge.

It felt like they were trying to have those moments

from RoboCop where, you know,

it's like the commercial for

the car that electrocutes somebody.

It's like, oh, that's like a commentary on what things would be like in the future.

This one was like, also, ghosts are in the future.

You could eat and see them eat, and they're like, see-through.

And planes crash in the videos and trucks.

It's edgy.

You get it.

And the subway You get it.

And the subway goes 700 miles an hour

if you just push it fast.

You can't turn the knob.

Why would the subway ever had a gauge that would go?

Why would it be built?

Why would the subway be built to even go that way?

It makes no sense.

Case businessmen are hurting.

200 miles an hour.

A man's face

explodes off of his skull because of the speed that the subway is effortlessly capable of achieving.

My question is, why didn't Sean Connery take a subway from Scotland to wherever they are?

Great.

I love, too, that Michael Ironside says to the kid, you want to see how fast this thing can go?

And by the way, real fast is the answer.

Really, very fast.

And every single person on that subway dies.

I was like, oh, this is crazy.

And then I was like, oh, wow, they're killing everybody.

Children, I mean, everybody's dead on that subway.

Meanwhile, oh, that whole thing, too.

Wait, is is this video or is that just the picture?

I have a video of the subway scene.

Can you play it, please?

Yeah.

Only because.

Only because it happened.

This movie has one of the best

insane visuals to terrible electric guitar scores

combinations of any movie we've ever done.

You know, Sam, you brought up that the first movie, the music was done by Queen.

This movie, the music was done by Stuart Copeland from the police.

Yes.

From the police?

Yes.

Oh, by the way, bad on him.

Because this is terrible, and I love Stuart Copeland.

Yeah, that's what.

All right, here we go.

I thought that mother went after her kid in a very lackluster way.

The baby carriage rolls down and she's like trying to get it.

She's like, man, she doesn't cry out like, oh, my baby.

Someone says, stop it.

She's like, oh, crap.

I'd also like to think if I'm a passenger on the train and not the mother of that child, that I would reach out and just stop it.

Oh, there you go.

Save that baby.

Let me help you.

Yeah.

What I also love about these actors are all, I mean, Christopher Lambert gives the most grounded performance, I would argue.

Virginia Madison, too, but they were so into the roles that Lambert refused to use fake swords for the fight scenes.

And the first time they ever gave him a real sword, he cut his finger down to the bone.

Oh, my God.

And then

Michael Ironside

chopped off a part of Lambert's finger.

And then Lambert got his tooth shipped.

And then Michael Ironside dislodged his jaw in a fight scene.

And then after that, they were like, okay, you have to use plastic swords.

And they reel, and

then

still, Lambert has terrible eyesight,

so he can't see.

And he almost cut off Michael Ironside's thumb.

And basically

his argument was, well, it's hard to do

precision thrusts when you're wielding a 22-pound broadsword.

Wow.

So that was his.

It was worth it.

It shows in the film.

Hey, Paul.

Paul, can you forward to the end of this scene by any chance?

Not the very, very end, but like the last 15 seconds, maybe?

Yeah, yeah.

What have we got?

Okay.

I just, okay.

I want to watch, I want to watch the guy's head explode, and then I want Michael Ironside's final line if we have it.

Yeah, hopefully, we do.

All right, here we go.

Hey, Michael.

Usually you're gonna, oh shit.

Remember it?

Fuck.

So he comes out,

looks straight down the barrel of the lens, and goes, last stop.

Right?

Is that what it was?

Hold on.

You know what?

I wrote that.

Yeah, I wrote it.

Yeah.

Because every now,

everyone's dead.

But he looks right into camera.

It's like he's like, ha ha ha ha.

Last stop.

They say things.

They say things sometimes that feel very bizarre in the world.

Like, it's like, well, I wouldn't say that.

Okay, especially because,

and Michael Ironsides and Sean Connery,

they do a little bit of business with Sean Connery, but they make no effort to have them be like, what world am I in?

You know what I mean?

Like, Michael Ironsides just starts driving a train.

He was just zapped here from Zeiss.

He said the past.

Or the past on Zeiss.

I don't know.

I had to believe that he's been zapped there before.

I think it's possible.

Yeah, I did.

Maybe Zeiss have subway trains.

Maybe subway trains.

Maybe he did semester abroad.

But he was at Zeiss U.

But there are some odd, like there are odd moments because then when Sean Connery comes in, he kind of makes some sort of weird reaction to a statue and Christopher Lambert is like, that's a sculpture.

Well, yeah, I think arguably the one thing you probably did have

was some sort of like sculpture, like stone carving would be the most familiar thing.

That's not new.

Yeah, that's a new thing.

It's like, that's a TV.

I get.

He's like, oh, what is this odd stone thing of a man?

But then, like, also, like, he's here, and then he sees, like, a bus go by, and he's like, whoops, so much for horse and buggies.

And then he's like,

they're very, they're unfaced.

Look, John C.

McGinley watches Michael Ironside come in and is like, just kill all these people.

He's like, I'm not even moving.

And he's just a businessman.

No, he's not just a businessman.

He's the head of SHIELD.

Oh, yeah.

And then, doesn't Michael Ironside?

I don't even know what Michael Ironside is doing, but he gets a man's face on the table and is like, he's banning his jaw.

He's pulling his head open.

And you're just hearing like, crack, crack, crack, crick.

I have a real question.

Up until now, none of my questions have been real.

No.

Okay, Michael Ironside, Sean Connery, Christopher Lambert, okay?

Yes.

They all are from the past.

Also, maybe are from another planet.

Yes.

Okay.

Regardless, they find themselves in 2024 on Earth.

Yes.

How do they keep finding each other everywhere they go?

They are so easily locatable by each other at all times.

Do Highlanders know where other Highlanders are?

It's an app.

Oh.

Hang on, asshole.

Wait, is that real?

Wow, they're drawn to each other.

Drawn to each other.

Wowie.

Okay.

Okay, then actually that, I'm glad you said that because I was really like, This is shitty that they keep showing up and being like, I found you.

when you say they're drawn to each other

do you mean they have to like sort of put the vibe out there looking for someone or they're just like naturally

well because I guess their only job is to kill each other right yeah exactly that's like they're exactly so they have like a homing beacon to the guy that they're gonna fight and to win the prize To die to die.

So you're dying either way.

Yeah, because you're either going to get your head cut off or you're just going to die

eventually.

Not really a great upside there.

How about the fact that when he goes out to fight, Virginia Madsen straight up reads his centuries-old diary?

Oh, yeah.

She's like, oh, what's this big book?

Also, like, I'm not a big journal keeper, but like, he's been keeping the same diary for hundreds of years.

It's one book.

Does he do like one entry?

Highlanders are thrifty.

They get, you know, a moleskin notebook.

But I'm also like, hey, don't look at my diary.

Yes, I'm immortal, but like, don't worry about it.

And she's basically like, so there have been other women.

I did appreciate that he has.

Who's this bitch?

I did appreciate he had amazing penmanship, which is a...

It's really going the way of the dodo bird.

People don't have good penmanship anymore.

What about, was his wife talking to him from Beyond the Grave, too?

When she was all burned up?

Now, if you are sick with like UV rays, is that what you look like?

I think you're all burned up.

So you've gone outside and you got

exposed to the sun, is

this what I'm assuming because there were so many people.

The sun is too powerful and you get all burned up, and that's why they created the shield to keep the UV rays out, but to plunge us into a dystopian future of darkness.

Wouldn't it have just been better to start the movie with him creating the shield?

When you finally get to the the idea that he created this movie.

You mean a shield origin story?

Yeah.

You're like, you're at least 40 minutes deep.

You're well into it.

You know the shield exists.

Yeah.

So they're like, oh, here we go.

We're going to turn it on.

Like, I know it's songs.

Like, yeah, like, the better thing that would have been was like, he's visiting his wife.

She's dying.

Then he creates the shield and then flash cuts in the middle of it.

Or in the middle of the, in the middle of the creation.

Oh, oh, I see what you're saying.

Sorry.

So it's like

a great idea.

Just, hey, audience, we like you to follow along with us just a tad.

What's built instead of making it a reveal, which doesn't, the only reveal is like, oh, it's beginning to make sense.

Like, like, that's what they're revealing.

Have we even mentioned that

Virginia Madsen?

Virginia Madsen?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is an eco-terrorist?

We have yet to mention her flawless break-in at S.H.I.E.L.D.

HQ,

which involves some like some real nonsense.

These people would have been caught instantly.

Everyone

gives up

very quickly.

And everybody gains access to everything very quickly.

Immediately.

That's all.

Also, I legitimately

didn't get.

When she was out there and she's changing her clothes, she took off her clothes in the street after her amazing espionage mission.

And then there was a phone number, and there's a note.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

his number and then that was just it was it saved McLeod and his phone number yeah and then she randomly I thought you were somebody else and then that's when all he addressed that number

and did she call it

wait wait wait for real who gave her that information I don't know I thought

she found it while she was in but I think there was a scene that they cut where she found it during that mission I don't know what

she said the cab driver gave it to him that she wasn't.

She's supposed to meet him.

It's an address.

It's not a phone number.

Oh, it's an address.

That's right.

But still,

which would lead me to believe she's coming to the bar to meet him where he is when the Porcupine brothers attack.

But why

is she sent to meet with him?

Because he created the shield.

By whom, though?

Maybe by his partner?

Oh, because that old man was sending messages to

somebody.

You remember?

And then like John C.

McGinn was like, I see all those messages.

Yeah, that's what they said.

They sent him to prison then.

Yeah.

This is hard.

The audience is doing a lot of work.

Those messages that you're talking about are the messages he was just communicating with.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck it.

This isn't a good movie.

I never, and then by the way, just I want to talk about you and I watching this movie together.

You were, I've never, I'm being serious, I've never seen you get this mad at a movie.

It's really mad.

And feeling like someone was tricking you.

Because you said to me, you're like, do you get it?

Do you get it?

And I said,

and then at one point I said, yeah, of course.

Whatever the fuck is that?

And you would reply, like, tell me, tell me.

I was like, well, you know, because it's about,

it's more of a metaphor.

It's not necessarily a straight story.

And you're like, what?

No, because what angers me about you is that

you then go on after viewing this to do tons of research about the movie and understand it.

And if I did that research, yeah, I'd understand it too.

But I'm just

with an open heart coming here

describing my reactions.

Paul, how does that make you feel?

What June just said was how she felt.

So how does that make you feel to hear that?

I guess maybe I need to have more of an open heart.

I'm so sorry.

Wow, you just asked him a question.

But I just looked at the clock.

Should I be here soon?

Sam, we're so appreciative that you're here.

Well, obviously, we have a lot of questions, but we've barely tapped the service.

Now we're coming to you to answer or to ask us some questions, to answer some questions, to make observations.

We're not going to have answers.

You never know.

You never know.

You might have a real Highlander head in the house.

All right.

Okay, here we go.

Sir, your name, your log line, Highlander 2, the blank, what would you call it?

And your question: Highlander 2,

what?

All right, I like it.

Here's your question: What the hell was happening with Sean Connery and the fan?

Like, could he

practice when Sean Connery used the force?

And then he just blew up?

Yeah, you mean didn't crush him?

Yeah.

No, no, you mean when he used the force?

Yeah.

Well, yes, the force.

But then he died.

He didn't get his head cut.

But my whole theory about Sean Connery.

For sure.

It was a beheading device.

That's the whole point of the device.

But I also thought then, like, as a just as a creative type, I was like, why even bring Sean Connery here?

Because the action, if you track Sean Connery's story, it's like he interrupts a play, he gets a suit, he meets Christopher Lambert, and then he kills himself.

Like,

he doesn't do anything.

But he helps get Christopher Lambert into the jail by having the both of them get shot 200 times.

By the way, put a dungeons in the trunk and somehow

makes it out alive.

She would be so dead too.

How did he get that door open and where did that come from?

They slipped from the door they got out of.

Magic.

Magic is the answer.

Well,

you're asking a lot of great questions, so I'm going to give you this pamphlet of what happened to Lumpy from the Star Wars Christmas special.

So I left some gifts.

There's actually, for you three, there's one that relates to the Star Wars Christmas special

Jason.

He He wants to know what a Wookiee cookie is.

So I'm sorry.

We're allowing random bags to just be put on stage.

I'm sorry.

Largo staff, what's going on?

Are we just cool with randos leaving bags on stage?

What world are we living in?

Guys, come on.

Also, where's my gift?

All right, ma'am, your name, well, you would subtitle the Highlander 2 movie.

And can you point out anything that you've left on stage?

So first of all, what's your name?

Jennifer.

Jennifer?

Highlander 2, the.

Sex Too Fast.

I was just wondering, in the scene where Sean Connery goes to the shop to get his clothes, if anybody thought of Pretty Woman at that point.

1,000%.

Yes, but only because I'm always thinking about Pretty Woman.

Also, like, why was...

I thought Sean Connery might say big mistake.

It's not in the Redingade version, but it's in one of the others.

Also, he was like, why was the main guy being such a dick about that tart, that, that, uh, that Scottish print?

And he was like, no, but, like, well, you don't know he likes it or not.

You know why?

Because the other guy kept trying to put Scottish stuff on him, and he knew that he was a Spaniard.

He was in that backpiper, but why did that backpiper follow him around all the time?

Here's something for you.

This is a little graphic design from someone called Hanksy.

He's like Banksy, but with pop culture.

Hanksy.

All right, yes.

Yes, your name, your title, and your question.

Here we go.

What's your name?

My name is Shane.

Shane, Highlander 2, the...

There should have only been one.

Okay, great.

Your question.

Okay, so did you guys notice that when he goes to the bar and the bartender knows him, they cheers to a drink, he's drinking whiskey, the bartender, for some reason, is drinking a tall glass of milk?

And they live in a world where the I think, I don't know if they said in the movie, but it read that it's 99 degrees outside at all times.

So he's drinking a tall glass of milk on a hot day.

Gross.

And what's even crazier is I heard it was breast milk.

Because that's what everybody's into in 2024.

Boob juice.

And they weren't.

I had a terrible joke.

Sorry, I was not going to say anything.

This is, that's a great observation.

A lot of research went into that.

And you get this notebook that is using the VHS cover of Masters of the Universe done by this guy on Facebook called facebook.com slash pieceofwork.

W-E-R-K.

Yes.

Your name,

your subtitle, and your question.

What's your name?

Kevin, and it's Highlander 2 who writes this shit.

Great, love it.

Apparently, by the way, an Argentinian financial company who, when the movie started going over budget, they started giving script notes.

Anyway, here we go.

Oh, that's amazing.

Now, there's really only one Highlander.

That's Connor McLeod.

Everybody else is just immortal.

He's the Highlander because he's from the Scottish Highlands, right?

You tell me, bro.

Like a Dracula.

You're speaking more authoritatively than I am.

Yeah, if you say so.

No, but you know, when Sam was describing it, I assumed that they're all Highlanders and they just battle until there's one left.

But then why why does Sean Connery call him Highlander?

But what was Sean Connery?

What's Sean Connery?

Sean Connery was actually Egyptian by way of Spain.

Wait, Sean.

Did you hear this?

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is crazy because the only Scottish person in the world.

Everybody shut up in the movie played a Spaniard.

So the only Scottish person in the movie played a Spaniard or an Egyptian by the way of Spain.

So he's a Highlander.

So what makes Christopher Lambert special?

Not his acting I'll tell you what whoa

ladies and gentlemen please welcome Christopher Lambert

he's over there crying he's not coming out he's so upset at you he's hurt oh he's not coming out

really sad

wow

you guys you would have had

all this action with Christopher Lambert if it hadn't been for that guy

wow Chris Chris Oh, Chris, no.

Chris, Chris, Chris.

No, don't.

No, don't.

No, boy.

Does anyone taking his shit?

Not backstage.

It doesn't hurt him.

It just hurts us.

All right.

Does anyone understand the Highlander a little bit more that we could kind of pick your brain?

You do.

Okay, that was a very authoritative hand raise.

Because I do want to understand.

By the way, is it Highlander or Highlander?

And

is it Toyota based on Toyota.

So are you driving

when you drive a Highlander?

Is it impenetrable?

I'm immortal!

It goes 700 miles an hour!

Hey, was that just another Highlander?

Shit, there can be only

remove the engine.

They never went for that tie-in table.

Another nerd battle of Highlanders on the 101.

All right, so you have some Highlander knowledge.

Yeah, I'm going to go back and kind of finish what the prize is.

So not only is it, because mortals are sterile, so he's not going to be sterile anymore, but he's also going to be.

Wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm going to ask you to not gloss over that fellow.

Mortals are sterile.

He's upset because

immortals are.

Immortals are.

And he's upset in the first one because he has a wife and she can't get pregnant and it's his fault because he's immortal.

So, anyway, the prize, he becomes mortal, but also he gets to hear the thoughts and become one with nature and hear the thoughts of everybody.

So, my whole problem with the second movie is: how does he not know that people are, you know, misusing what he's trying to do?

And, anyway, so that just bothers me the whole time.

Yeah, so upon gaining mortality,

he can just

get his wife pregnant.

Well, he can become fertile, but he can also hear everything.

Yeah, got it.

So at the end of the movie, the prize is he's gonna know everything going on.

Like he can hear the thoughts and everything, but he's supposed to help bring humanity together.

Got it.

So he's like Professor X.

Yes.

Without the room.

Without Cerebro.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

And he can walk, as was pointed out here.

But then he doesn't have a baby.

And can walk.

Hey, dick move, bro.

Thanks for the explainer, but you don't have to take Professor X to task

for being in a wheelchair bro any yes who has you have a good question

come here

and i always like when someone pimps out one of their friends here we go this your name your subtitle and your question uh my name is jenny it is highlander 2 the confusing oh i like that and i want to know where sean connery gets his wham his walking around money because i know that he traded it was his earring shopping right no but that earring is definitely not worth at best 500 bucks

Not nearly as much as that suit.

And then he gets on a plane.

How did he get to the plane?

How did he get that?

How's Michael Ironside doing all the same stuff?

I agree.

That is a 400 or 500-year-old earring, though.

How much?

Go up in value every hundred years.

And it might be a lot of fun.

So

is it a cash back thing?

Does he give that earring to the suit players?

Like, well, I guess we'll pay you two thousand dollars extra.

Does he take the earring and put it in the cash register?

Yeah.

And is he like

a system in 2024 needs for suits.

Yeah, but then you'd have to get like a cash back at a certain point because it would cut that earring up in half.

Did you try to achieve it?

This is a tough question.

You know what?

This is the part of the movie that makes no sense.

And that's a bummer because up until now everything has added up for me, but that's a hole that I feel like they didn't address.

By the way, yeah, where did Sean Connery get his wham?

We didn't even think about that.

And it sucks because you loved it and now your mind's going to go there.

Yeah, now the movie's kind of ruined for me.

Thanks a lot.

Wait, is Wham a thing?

I know.

I love it.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Raise your hand if you've heard wham before for walking around money.

Everybody in her row.

Small girlfriends.

Her three friends raised their hands.

I was just making sure I'm not insane.

Yeah.

So just

to say, Wham is not a thing.

You should stop saying it.

She's trying to get it out there.

Trying to get it out.

I want to come to you guys.

You both are wearing the same sweatshirt, right?

Oh my gosh, this is great there.

It's a the room, not the Brie Larson movie, but the Tani Wazo movie.

And it's a Christmas sweater that says, you're tearing me apart, Lisa, but it's a Christmas,

like a Christmas-decorated room sweater.

It's awesome.

I'll talk to both of you.

Your name, your subtitle, and your question.

My name is Brie.

Highlander 2.

Let's get zeisty.

Like it.

So there's this part where Christopher Lambert goes to see his former partner at the Shield office, where there's a lot of industrial fans happening.

And this computer screen is like this see-through thing.

And John McKinley walks in the room and they're acting like super secret, like he can't actually just see what's on the screen.

And also, John C.

McKinley doesn't say a word about the fact that fucking Christopher Lambert, who started this company,

is young.

Yeah.

And not.

Nope, barely in his partner.

His partner is like, you look great.

What did you do?

A facelift?

He's like, something like that.

If by a facelift, you mean I murdered two immortals,

through the quickening, gained him or gained my immortality back, raw dog this lady.

Well, now at least we know he can do that without the fear of impregnating her.

And I have, yeah, and it makes that part of the movie a lot more palatable to me.

And now I'm here talking to you, old dude.

I'm also going to give you a little piece of work for that.

And now your your uh your name your title and your question uh name's jim uh highlander 2 the free men of zeist the what the free people of zeist okay got it love it

um so this movie with michael ion's side his henchmen actually tell him what the plot hole of the whole fucking movie is before he starts anything in the renegade cut

and he's just like no no it's fine like they the porcupine men literally say if you send us back in time he's going to be in mortal again.

You could just wait a couple years and he can die.

Yes.

So the whole movie doesn't show up.

But the priests say that

he could still choose to come back to Zeiss.

Oh, God.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

But I guess what I took away from that, and again, I don't know a ton about Highlanders, but

I don't.

Even having now watched it.

But what I took away from that was this idea of there can only be one.

And if he were to die, he would be the one, right?

Yeah.

So that's why he went to the house.

But wouldn't there be another one?

How many...

Yeah.

So

I don't know if they keep on popping up.

Is Highland...

Okay, now I have a question.

Is Highlander a thing

that

throughout time there is always a Highlander?

Or is he the Highlander because he's from the Highlands?

And as a result, what became the Highlander was yes?

Yeah, that was like his

Okay, okay, hey guy

hey fella

the producer of the movie is here and he uh

Christopher Lombert

Okay, hold on one second.

I'm done

and now

everybody shut up except for the loudmouth loudmouth explain it very concisely.

Really do you care?

I'm not gonna send this question like 10 times.

Yeah.

But I'm curious to hear it again.

Okay, where is he?

He's over there, Paul.

He's on the other.

He's that asshole.

I'm gonna go around.

Going around, going around.

Most exercise I've gotten in weeks.

Here we go.

All right, here we go.

I'll hold the mic.

So he's the Highlander because he's from the Highlands.

Everyone talk to us like we're idiots.

Yeah, man.

Hey, hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Here's what's not happening.

Here's what's not happening.

We don't come bring the mic to you after you scream from the audience for you to condescend to me.

I'm sorry.

Wow.

I'm sorry.

June threw down her notebook in disgust.

What?

Every member of the stage just got up to fight you.

I want everybody to get a look at this guy

so that we know who the asshole is.

All right.

So,

watch your tone and explain this movie to us.

All right, here we go.

So, the immortals

are like capacitors, they contain energy from the universe, and when they kill each other by beheading each other, they gain the energy of the person they beheaded until there's only one, and he contains all of the leftover energy, which is the prize, which he gets to die.

Wait, so the immortals, though, are not Highlanders, but the Highlander is immortal.

Yes.

Okay, so can I ask you this?

If in the first movie, and I don't know the first movie, obviously I didn't see it.

If Sean Connery had killed everybody, would the movie be called The Spaniard?

Because he's from

the Egyptian because he's from Egypt and then went to Japan and then went to Spain and then went to Scotland.

I legitimately hate you.

But.

June.

But I thank you for your service.

So it all comes down to this for me.

Now give me a howdy.

Never.

June, now it all comes down to this is what I will say to you.

And I want to ask you in all honesty,

do you have a better idea of what a street fighter is or what a Highlander is?

Who's been a.

You know what?

I think.

Highlander.

So you know what a Highlander is?

I think so.

I think I have a pretty good idea.

Want to hit it back?

No.

No, I don't.

I don't.

But I think I have a good idea.

And I'm going to leave it at that.

So there can be only one refers to only one immortal, not only one Highlander.

That makes a lot more sense.

That's huge.

Because the movie is

I think, yeah, the idea that there could be a movie called The Spaniard is helpful.

Yeah, I think that makes sense.

And I wish it hadn't been delivered how it was delivered.

Yeah.

Me too.

Yeah.

Me too.

But residual residual.

But I am grateful for the information.

Well, we can talk about the Highlander all day, and we can talk about The Spaniard all night.

But there are some people out there that have a different opinion about it than we do.

It is now time for second opinions.

The movie was a piece of shit.

Yet this person recommends it.

Tell me what is the message.

Maybe that art is subjected.

I need a second opinion.

That is John LeJois.

The very funny, the very talented John LeJois.

He's got a fantastic record.

Yes.

Go buy it on iTunes.

It's really, really great.

So, John LeJois, thank you so much for your second opinions.

Theme.

And these are five-star reviews called from Amazon.

Not many.

Not even many one-star reviews.

Seemed like people passed this one in in the reviewing matrix.

They were like, not gonna even spend the time, but I do have a few.

This one is from Kevin Gandy, written on January 31st, my birthday, 2015.

Wrote simply, just what my child wanted, five stars.

To be disappointed.

This one.

Just what my child wanted.

I'm a divorced dad.

I don't understand my son.

This is written by Lon Sugara.

And this is a tough one

to make sense of.

So it's not me, it's Lon.

My fantasies get tickles by the dream.

The truth about physics is revealed just by watching movies and playing games and eating good food and experiencing different things and hanging around girls.

It's really just an oxymoron for just about everyone's cover-up of shit.

Five stars.

Wow.

Like,

that's either really profound

or it's a bot.

I don't know.

We now go deep buried to the pit.

We go into third opinions.

These are where we just see what people gave it, the one-star review.

This one is titled, What a Horrible Movie, dot, dot, dot.

And it says, I am just confused by this plot.

Did anyone read this and say, hey, this makes no sense?

One star.

So that is the second opinions there.

Blake J.

Harris will probably go deep with someone to talk about this film.

You can find his articles on slash film.com.

I love doing the show.

I love finding out different things.

And this is something that I thought was well worth it.

I have two things before we kind of wrap up.

One is, well, I'll do this first.

One is how the movie could have ended.

These are the three different endings on the three different things.

The fairy tale ending.

Louise and Connor return magically to Zeiss, embrace in front of a field of stars.

They transform into light and fly into space.

That is one ending.

Okay?

Like all fairy tales.

There's a British version, which is 10 minutes longer, and it's closer to the original script, and it includes flashbacks and an alternate ending.

They don't get more of that.

And then

the Renegade version, which is one that we've watched, is all references to the planet Zeist and them being aliens are removed.

And

a lot of people think this is the best one because it doesn't severely

change the canon.

It doesn't like, because basically when they become aliens, it basically takes away everything that people have done.

I see.

And then

they

tried to make a Highlander TV show.

And so Lambert declined to reprise his role.

So they created a new character called Duncan McLeod, who was also the Highlander.

But then Lambert came back in and was in the

show.

So that kind of confused the mythology again to have two Highlanders.

And then another Highlander movie called Highlander 3 the Sorcerer came in, and I don't know what happened there.

But this is kind of my favorite part of the entire thing.

This is

Roger Ebert.

trying to explain the plot of this movie.

And

I'll just start it around here because he talks some shit at the top.

But all right, here we go.

Highlander 2 The Quickening.

Plot of Highlander 2 The Quickening is one of the most hilariously incomprehensible experiences I've had in a long time.

The immortals from the planet Zeist who are caught in a time warp of their own involving the fact that they got oriented in Scotland 500 years ago plus events in the year 1999 and more events in the year 2025 plus the cartel plus the ozone shield plus the mysterious killer, plus the beautiful independent scientist who exposes the secret of the ozone.

Him trying to put together the movie, and I think he does the best version of it.

And that version, he said mysterious killer, is there a mysterious killer?

Wait.

Is that Michael Ironside?

I guess he's not that mysterious.

All right, well, going around the horn,

does anyone recommend this movie?

Would you say watch it?

I mean, obviously, not for quality.

You know, this is not the

la-la-land of the season, or, you know, but it's like, would you say it's enjoyable enough?

No.

No.

You'll say no.

It fucked me up.

It fucked me up.

I'm still like, I can't, like,

think.

I feel the same.

I felt like, I feel like the way maybe someone that was coming over to the new world would feel when they saw the Statue of Liberty, but when they got off the boat, it was like now.

and it was like they came from the 1920s, like, what?

And, like,

it's so much information, it broke me.

This movie broke me.

It also is so convoluted that it's hard to enjoy on a like stupid level.

Yeah.

You know, like, cause I find myself continuously just trying to be like, wait, what's actually happening?

We're a group of people.

I'm not enjoying the nonsense.

We're in a room of 200 people, and we're just about cracking some elements up.

Right, yeah.

Right, but we're also like, we do this a lot.

And I was still confounded by it.

Anyway, so it wasn't as fun as I wanted it to be.

But there's some like true nonsense that's pretty enjoyable, but not worth it.

Yeah, not worth it.

Not worth it.

All right, let's talk about this.

So, Sam, you have a new show coming out on Comedy Central.

I do.

It's called The Detroiters.

Tell us a little bit about it.

It comes out on Comedy Central February 7th.

It's about two ad men who make local, cheap local commercials in Detroit.

It stars me and a buddy named Tim Robinson.

And watch it.

It'll be on TV.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's great.

Everything I've seen from it so far looks really, really awesome.

June, what do you want to talk about?

Nothing.

I'll just

plug two podcasts that I really love, Bitch Sesh

and

OMFG.

Also on Earwolf.

All right.

Thanks, Jason.

I'll just say, you know, it's January now.

It's 2017.

We're living in a new world.

Yeah.

But, like, if you haven't caught up with it, like, why not watch the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix?

Don't worry about it.

June and I have just started the Gilmore Girls, and we're powering through season one right now.

Ooh, it's great.

Love it.

It's really good.

It's only going to get better, and then it's going to get real bad for a minute, and then it's going to get real good.

Kind of like that moment when, like, in Friday Night Lights, when like when when they killed when

oh yeah yeah when they killed that guy yeah i was like wait a second and then everybody was like jk jk that didn't happen

sorry sorry football football football football

um well uh just

full hearts can't lose except we murdered someone right

are we murderers and the tornado wipes it all away she's having sex with a teacher not cool um

so uh you can sign up for the how this get made mailing list you can find out about shows in your area because we'll have have all sorts of cool mailing lists.

A big thank you to everybody who makes this show possible.

Mirza Zeitz, who helps us put this live show together.

Everybody at Earwolf, Averill Halley, for cutting together these amazing clips, watching a Highlander 2 documentary.

Not only did she sit through Highlander 2 the quickening, she sat through a documentary about Highlander 2 the quickening.

So thank you to her.

Thank you to Nate Kylie for doing this amazing research.

And thank you to all these people here at Largo.

We appreciate you.

We thank you.

And we'll see you next time.

I don't mean to interrupt your meal, but I love Geico's fast and friendly claim service.

Well, that's how Geico gets 97% customer satisfaction.

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