Highlander II: The Quickening LIVE! w/ Sam Richardson (HDTGM Matinee)

The Disney Plus Hulu HBO Max bundle, the ultimate bundle at an unbelievable price, starting at $19.99 a month. On Disney Plus, go behind the scenes with Taylor Swift in the end of an era.

Every single one of us all clicked together. Battle it out with the roses on Hulu.
Things are getting a little out of hand. Well, you think.
And don't miss the Condra last rides on HBO Max.

I don't know how to protect you this time. All these and more streaming this month.
Plans starting at $19.99 a month. Terms apply.
Visit Disney Plus Hulu HBO Max Bundle.com for details.

Alienware's biggest sale of the season lets you unleash peak performance at Cyber Monday Savings.

Get the best prices of the year on select Alienware PCs like the groundbreaking Alienware 16 Area 51 gaming laptop, taking performance to the next level with Intel Core ultra processors.

Plus, you can save on all the latest accessories and displays like the Alienware 324K QDOLED gaming monitor.

Visit alienware.com/slash deals before the lowest prices of the year go dark this message is brought to you by Sonos this holiday season Sonos makes an amazing gift surprise someone who loves music upgrade a home theater for movie nights or keep it simple with a little to me from me moment I have been on the Sonos train forever and guess what I just put one of those bass amps in a smaller room and now every movie sounds a million times better if you want studio quality sound at home explore sonos speakers, soundbars, and more at sonos.com and discover how easy it is to build your own whole home audio system.

A famous Highlander once said, There can only be one. Unfortunately, the producers of this movie did not listen to that Highlander.
We saw Highlander 2: The Quickening, so you know what that means.

Screaming!

What's and Aga Grove, baby in his belly. Rock a rhyme stone vest while whipping Justin DeKelly.
Or maybe see a burlesque show with him crow. And take a boat with speech to hitting cruise control.

J-Man, Big Paul, and the beautiful June. Gonna take you from the goof all the way to the room.
Random games of Street Fighter hope to blow off steam. Just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green.

Sharp needle to bird demic, how we stayin' alive. They call it in the badass and he's on the line.
Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice. Cause a bad Jim Barney looking looking kind and nice.

Paul and June getting literal. Jason is getting laid.
June is making sure all the monkey shots are getting paid. They judge a bunch of movies while they're making the grade.

Here's a real question for you: how did this get made?

Hello, people of Earth, and hello, people of Largo.

Welcome,

welcome.

We are here at Largo at the Coronet, our LA home, for our live shows. and we are so excited to talk to you about another sequel, following in the brave footsteps of Grease 2.

A sequel made about

years late and not asked for.

But unlike Greece 2, this movie makes zero sense. So

here to help me dissect Highlander 2, The Quickening, I will tell you, I have some amazing people. Number one, please welcome Jason Manzukas.

What's up, Jerks?

What's up, Jason? How are you, Paul?

I am excited.

Thrilled to be here. Very rarely backstage

Do we stop ourselves from even we couldn't even talk about this on the basis of level specs I came in hot I was like I want to talk about this as as of right now starting go

you were talking about in your car on the way over talking to myself

just ranting and raving probably like the screenwriter why can't I get porcupine hair

is one of the things I said to myself

well we will find out that and much more but first let me introduce my other co-host the wonderful the talented, the June, Diane Raphael.

Welcome.

Welcome, June.

Hi.

Welcome.

Hi, Paul. How are you? Very well.
Very well. How are you?

June, I will say. Backstage two, you guys introduced yourselves to each other.

June and I's relationship is how many introductions would you say do we give each other in a day, like a random day? 12?

About, yeah, about 12. Just to be clear, is introductions a euphemism?

No, it's you know, they say it's it's like the key to a successful marriage to really see someone anew every time. Identify yourself at all points.
Yep. I'll say, hey, June, it's Paul.

And she'll say, it's just June, and we'll move on with our day. I will say...

Backstage, you were like, I think we've met before.

She looks damn familiar to me. You'll place me sometime.

I will say, June,

and I'm not saying that I was above it at all, but watching this movie with you was particularly enjoyable simply because it was like

watching a person who never has studied take an SAT.

And there was frustration and there was anger and there was yelling.

We'll get into it. But this is what I'll say.
I feel like it's the picture of the woman in Times Square in Westworld.

Like, it caused you to short circuit. What I kept on saying, I mean, I don't know how many times I said to you, do you know what's going on? Like, I felt very scared that I had missed so much.

But here's the thing: I didn't understand any of it, but I also didn't care to understand it.

That's the other part of that. And it's so important.
I didn't care to. And that's what made me angry.
Well,

buckle up

joining us tonight, a very special guest.

You've seen him in the movie Office Christmas Party. You can watch him on the television show Veep.
He has a brand new Comedy Central show called The Detroiters coming out in February.

Please welcome Sam Richardson.

Welcome.

Welcome, Sam. And I apologize, because this is a tougher movie than we normally do.
I don't know what it was.

It could have been forwards or backwards. I at some point wrote, was this cut out of order?

I wrote that. Michael Ironsides appears to be able to be everywhere at once.
I wrote down this, and I mean it with 100% sincerity. This is not for comedic effect.

A majority of this film, I spent not understanding anything that was. Okay, well, here's, I'm so happy to hear that for this very reason.
Early on into the movie, I realized something very important.

Okay. I have never seen Highlander.

As such,

I was like, oh,

this must be all Highlander stuff

that I'm not aware of because I didn't see Highlander.

So I'm glad to hear that you guys also felt like it was absolute gobbledygook. Well, let me tell you something, Jason.
Tell me, please.

If you were a Highlander fan, you also would not understand because

apparently what has happened is

they decided, well, yeah, Highlander was good, but we can't just continue those characters. Let's just get rid of everything that we set up and create a brand new world.
Just

nothing. There was place in 2024? No.

Literally, in the... This is not the world of the first movie.
Not at all.

I'm being very serious. Whoa.
There is nothing about this movie that is

technically a matter of time. The first movie travel time?

Well, the first movie goes back to

the days of actual Highlanders. Yes.

But then it's just 1985 and then the 1500s or right, yeah.

They're in like the Scottish Highlands. Yeah, exactly.
Like Scotsmen. But sometimes when they're

in the Scottish Highlands, he's got a machine gun. That made no sense.
I couldn't crack that at all. Well, that was like some Zardoz level nonsense.
Well,

it's interesting.

It isn't. Well,

whatever's about to follow, I guarantee is not interesting. Well,

here's what I will put down, and I'll just throw it out there, because I think it's worthy, because there's probably some people who watched the Renegade Edition, which is the director's cut, and there's some people who probably just watched regular Highlander 2, The Quickening.

The big difference. By the way, this all makes me sick.

Like, all these words make me fucking sick. Fucking hate this.

I hate it.

The big difference that they made with this movie was

that in the sequel,

the Highlanders are from the planet Zeist,

and they are coming from another planet to come to Earth. What?

Yes. Now the Renegade

cuts that out. Yes.
They don't

in this movie.

They shot it

in theory going interplanetary travel

as well as time travel.

So the Highlanders live

in another planet and they come here. So they don't live in the Scottish Highlands.
Which, by the way,

that might explain why he had a machine gun. Because that was not olden days.
That was current.

Current Zeist days. Current Zeist days, just on another planet.

I didn't know that watching this.

And I'm so glad that because I was watching that movie, like, I'm going to do a bad job with this because I'm the only one who doesn't understand what's happening.

I felt like I didn't understand why

Christopher Lambert was old. Lambert.
I didn't understand why he kept falling asleep in the opera.

I didn't understand why the opera was being terribly lip-synced.

Terrible. Like, they spent so much money on that opera house, that stage.

Just get the fucking opera singing. Sing the fucking song.

And then I also felt like

he was flashing back to this other now I'm realizing planet where he is like the Neo of the Royalers.

But the renegade cut. That'll be interesting.
The renegade cut does not allow you in on that fact. Like,

you can't. What is the renegade cut? The one that we watched.
That's the director's version. The director was fused.
You watched Renegade?

The best. Lorenzo Llamas? No.

Wait, that's the cut you watched, I mean? Well, that's what it's called. The Renegade's cut.
If you watched it on iTunes. I didn't.
Okay. Oh.

I didn't. I watched it on Ulu.
Oh.

You might have watched it. Well, we'll find out.
Well, if you don't know about the Zeiss, do you know about Zeiss? I know nothing about Zeiss.

I know nothing about Zeiss.

If you watch The Renegade Cut, you don't know about the Zeus. Okay, yeah,

okay. And I was like, Paul, what is Zeiss?

What is it? Zeiss!

I would buy words at this point. Just so you understand what's going on here, that makes a difference.
If you say Zeiss again, I'm going to punch you right in the middle.

Right in the middle. I don't want to heist.
I don't want to hear Renegade. I don't want to hear Quickening.
I don't want to hear Highlander.

When we were there watching the trailer and it goes, Highlander 2, The Quickening. June goes, The Quickening?

Didn't know that was the name of the movie.

And I was like, I get it. Why would you?

Well, let's hear what the producer has to say about this movie and how you can enjoy it. It's a sequel because the characters do pick up

25 years later from when the first movie ended, and we had to resolve those issues. But it's also a picture that stands completely by itself.

It is a story that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. It leaves us with an opening to go forward again for another picture.

But if you've never seen the first Highlander, you should be able to, we felt, watch this one, understand it, and enjoy it. You are wrong.

Absolutely not. You can tell it's like sick of asking that question.

I don't know.

Well, here's the problem. Then the first movie, Sean Connery Dies,

as a big part of the movie. yeah.

And for the second movie, Christopher Lambert was like, well, I like Sean Connery, we should bring him back.

And they're like, well, he's dead. He's like, well, I won't make this movie.
And they're like, all right, we'll bring him back.

Was Highlander 2 that big of a success? I mean, Highlander 1, I'm sorry. Was it, did it necessitate this kind of like everybody was clamoring for that Highlander sequel?

I don't have that research in front of me. Yeah.
I would imagine that people wanted. I mean, Highlander seems like a movie people talk about.
People talk about it.

It had a great queen soundtrack everybody loved.

I don't know if the TV show was inspired by The Quickening or if it was from the city.

What was The Highlander about?

What was The Highlander about? Sam, you could probably take it. Yeah, I think

I'll dim on the explanation hat.

Connor

McLeod.

Played by Christopher Lombert. Played by Christopher Lombert.

Was a Scottish Highlander and the leader of a tribe. I can't remember the name of the tribe.
But they're warring with another tribe. He's in war.
Clan McLeod. Clan McLeod.
That's the name of his clan.

And he's flying with Clan other guy.

And then in a battle, he gets harmed

and then

he recovers overnight. And everybody's like, oh, he's a witch.
Turns out he's one of these Highlanders who cannot die unless their heads are removed. But he didn't know that.
He didn't know.

So he's just finding out in the moment. He's like, wait a minute, what's all this? Uh-oh, Zoinks, I'm immortal.

And he's like. And then how does he get to 1985?

He's been living lives, not dying. And the way it is, it's like two highlighters.
There can be only one. That means...
So like

it's hard to explain.

Don't worry about it. One of these fucking nerds will help us

if we need it. I want to see if I can do this.

So like they have to all, there's a bunch of Highlanders who are these immortal beings who like, but then they do battle because there can be only one.

So they all fight each other over time and they kill each other by removing their heads. And then what happens is the quickening, where like electricity goes and they gain like

power

from the

essence of the dead highlanders. Yeah, I hear people like, no, am I wrong? Is that not right?

Okay, all right.

Something's feeling right about, you know? So they basically just took. This isn't helping me understand understand the movie I watched any better,

but like thank you so Sean Connery's head is chopped off at the end of the MIT, yes, because he's a Spaniard who comes

who comes to like teach him the ways of the Highlander. He is not a Spaniard at all,

and he teaches him like about Highlandering

and then has his head chopped off as a huge like, you know,

like, oh no, now I've got to avenge my master. It's like a moment of money.
A couple more questions. A couple more questions.

So, like, on a day-to-day basis, like, what does a Highlander do?

Like,

it's a lot of, like,

wrist training for, like, a lot of spins like this.

They're warriors. They're warriors.
They're warriors. It's like, but then when not highlanding, they are

titans of industry and developing earth-protecting shields. Well, no,

that's what I'm trying to get at, which is, like, what do they want out of life?

They just want to keep that head on, baby. Isn't it? Exactly.
That head on. So they're living a life of fear, knowing at one point someone's going to come around and try to chop their head off.

Trying to chop the head off. That's why you always have a sword on.
You don't have to be a Highlander to fight a Highlander. Like,

you don't take on a Highlander to gain immortality. You have to be also immortal.
I think you already have to be in the club. You can't, like, get it.

You can't get access to it from the outside. So, with this phrase, there can only be one side.
So, yes. So,

they have to battle each other until, like, for all time until

there's one left, and then they win what's called the prize.

What?

What?

The prize?

Yep, and I'm murky on what the prize is.

Does anyone know the prize?

More talented. That's right, more talented because also you can die.

I would imagine, yes, that most most of them are tired of living and would love to.

But why, hey, okay, another question.

If I'm a Highlander and I want to, you know, end it all, I can't kill myself via decapitation. I don't think they addressed it in the film.

The suicidal tendencies of Highlanders.

So that movie takes this beautiful history and flushes it down the toilet. They just keep the head knocking off part of it.

Like, that's really the only part that we really get i guess wow and that name is wild and the names and the names because they don't he doesn't even seem to be that surprised when sean conray pops up and like oh yeah your head got you know there was no he's like whoops here i am ramirez my old friend

The Disney Plus Hulu HBO Max Bundle, the ultimate bundle at an unbelievable price, starting at $19.99 a month. On Disney Plus, go behind the scenes with Taylor Swift in the end of an era.

Every single one of us all clicked together. Battle it out with the roses on Hulu.
Things are getting a little out of hand. Well, you think.
And don't miss the Condra. Last rites on HBO Max.

I don't know how to protect you this time. All these and more streaming this month.
Plans starting at $19.99 a month. Terms apply.
Visit DisneyPlus Hulu, HBOMaxBundle.com for details.

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online.
Every dream needs a domain.

Squarespace domain makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees and add-ons required.

And with Squarespace's collection of cutting-edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful, professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business.

Even me, because what did I do when I needed to start the dinosaur improv website?

Well, I got on Squarespace, I looked at some of their award-winning website templates, and I created something that I would never have been able to conceive without seeing this beautiful template in front of me.

It made it fast, it made it easy, and now with the drag and drop technology, everything is clean and clear and you can even make it work for the phone and the computer. What are you waiting for?

Head to squarespace.com slash bonkers for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code bonkers to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain.

Imagine being the wizard of your home. With Xfinity Wi-Fi, you can boostify speeds for the moments that count and magically pause Wi-Fi to any device.

And now you can cast a spell to stop time and keep your internet bill the same for five years with the Xfinity five-year price guarantee. Equipment included, no contracts or commitments.

Xfinity, imagine that. And see Wicked for Good only in theaters November 21st.
Restrictions apply, select plans only.

Can I ask another very basic question about this movie? Why do they want the shield down?

Oh, okay. This is now about the sequel.
Okay. I'm sorry.

Well,

I understand that. So basically, this will help us because

again, it's one of those movies when you see in the beginning, this is

now become a trope of a how did this get made movie where the opening text makes a lot more sense at the end of the movie and I feel like they should replay the opening text maybe midway through or at the end to be like, oh, right, yeah.

Every 10 minutes, just pop that thing up there. More text crawls is what this needed.

It needs to be like a silent movie. Just like indiscriminately throughout the movie, just text blocks.

Well, I mean, the year is 2024. So the first one, the year is 2024.
Second one, industrial pollution has destroyed the ozone layer, leaving the planet at the mercy of the sun's ultraviolet rays.

An electromagnetic shield now protects the planet. Which, by the way, is also in Escape from LA.
Yes. The same idea of like the UV tomorrow is going to be real bad.

It's right all there. I mean, this is what everyone's afraid of: the UV rays.

And it goes, a small group believes that the ozone layer has repaired itself and that the shield is no longer necessary, but no one knows for sure.

I read that, Paul.

I got that. You got that? I got that.
So, so

I understand that they're not sure, but I don't, what I don't understand is why,

I guess, why that other guy is keeping the shield up if there's no, like, what are they gaining from it? Oh, money. Money? Money, yeah.
I think, um, wait, you're talking about the bad guy.

John McGill. John McGill, yeah.

He, he, he's making money. His company makes money.

So, okay, I guess here's the question: Are we to believe that the world has fallen into, that people are, you know, just turned into animals and there's despair everywhere because of this shield.

Because they can't see the sky?

I do think that that is a little bit what's her name, Louise, yes, says to him, is like, you've like that nobody is seeing the Sun, like nobody, like everybody.

When she talks about the Sun, she almost gets like real horn dog for it. Like, she's like, oh, tell me about the clouds.

That's like foreplay for them. And what, well, like, did video cassette players or DVD players not exist? Like, could they they not watch?

Go back and look. Yeah, I feel like there's a book around or something.

They've got TVs in their cars. You'd think they'd have

a way to watch stuff from the past. It's 2024.

Okay, I guess the other question is, so how is the corporation making money off the shield? Charging countries.

Oh. For protection.
It's protection money. Ozone protection.
Yeah.

But then that shield comes down. But it's tough because that's one of five plots that are running concurrently

and told to you with not the proper backstory.

In the beginning, Christopher Lambert is doing his best, Jean-Claude Van Damme, doing an old man, which is like talking like

this.

But like still the same speed that he would speak as the young man.

But that's

it. But when he has to move, he is sprightly.

Also, like, yeah, because he, because like in the beginning, like like, you see him look down at this old man and he kind of tips his opera goggles to him. But we don't know what he goes.

Opera goggles.

Right?

Or does he like, does he have goggles or is it classes? Does he bring your opera goggles? Sorry, it was glasses. It was glasses.
I want to be able to see the opera that's happening underwater.

It's 2024. You love that job.
Underwater opera.

That's why it looked like it was a dub.

So, Christopher Lambert, so he's old at this point. Now, just to go back to the first movie,

do they get old? No, but

he won the prize, right? Is that right?

So, he won the prize.

So, now he ages, and he

and so when he gets that cut on his hand and he sees it heal, like, Wolverine's like, shit. He's like, shit, here we

go again, essentially.

And there's no reason to why he lost the prize. Yeah, yeah,

they say, in this thing,

they say, um,

the priests say to Michael Ironside, right? Yes.

Both of these movies have like all of my favorite character actors from

those eras. When Michael Ironside, because I watched this one first, Michael Ironside said, I was like, oh, yeah, Michael Ironside's the original Powers booth.

And then...

And then in the next movie, Stacey Keech, and I was like, Stacey Keech, the original Powers booth.

I was like,

these are titans of villainous character actors from the 80s and 90s. They're so happy.
There's so much, and I think John C. McGinley falls in that category too.
So much beautiful scene shooting.

It's like,

and even Sean Connor is like, fuck it.

Like, people are acting their asses off of this movie.

But the priests say to Michael Ironside, he's not chosen whether he's going to grow old and die or whether he's going to come back here, which is apparently something called Zeiss, which is where they are, and I'm assuming fight Michael Ironsides for supremacy, right?

Yeah, I guess that's part of the question. But here's my question.

After that moment, when he gets zapped. Then Michael Ironsides is like, well, I guess I'll go to him then.
Right, but when he gets zapped, he's going to the future, correct? Correct.

So he's not aging.

Okay.

Yeah.

He starts aging in the future from whatever age he was at the moment he was zapped into that. Correct.
I think at that point, I'm assuming. Well, at that point.

At that point, when there's two Highlanders, aren't they both immortal?

Yes. I mean, there can only be one.

I think we're going to be unsatisfied if we think we're going to figure it out.

Well, here's why we'll never

figure it out.

They shot three endings. There are three cuts of this movie.
And the director left at a certain point. So

there are some giant plot holes in it. As a matter of fact,

when he kills both the porcupine boys,

and what I've now found out is the quickening, the quickening happens, and he absorbs their power,

there is an explosion of energy all around him. Windows, cars explode, windows are blown out.
Yes. The number of civilian casualties

that must have died simply so that he could become young, handsome Lambert again. It was worth it.

It was worth it. And it seems like it both hurts him when the quickening happens and it seems like he's coming.

Which is like sex. Yeah.
That is sex.

Just take a listen to this. This is another clip from the documentary of the making of this movie about the actors understanding the movie.

I'd never been in and have never since been in a situation where the plug was pulled and you actually thought to yourself, well, hang on, have we finished the movie?

It was a complete nightmare. All of a sudden, people who had been allowed in the cutting room were not allowed in the cutting room.
All the creative shifted.

You had a new set of bosses, different producers came in. At the end of the day, we're just like a horse with a different rider on it.

And all of a sudden, this rider was like totally into purely finishing the film from an insurance company standpoint.

So you have an actor going, I don't know if we finished the movie. Wow.

So that would be. Well, see, that's why I feel like, because there were scenes where Michael Ironside, from scene to scene, was like, okay, for example, in the scene where

they leave the Max prison. Guys, I don't fucking care about the order of this movie.

They didn't think they did.

So they run Michael Ironside over with the truck.

Louise is like, ha ha, that was amazing.

And then he fights Christopher Lumbert on the truck. Sure.
They knock him off and they keep driving. Then they are, they're driving to climb the ladder to see above the shield.

Cut to Michael Ironside in a room with John C. McGinley.
He's like, we don't have any idea where they're going. Like, you just fell off the car.

Like, where were you?

Where were you when you fell off the car? They're not much farther from there.

Like, why did you come back? Why?

He got an Uber, he went back, he was like, I lost it.

And they have a scene which is genuinely like John McKinley's like, I don't know. And it's like, how did you get back here so fast? What the fuck is going on? And I think that's not meant to be there.

Well, of course not. Like, I mean, this movie, like, well, I...
I think I figured out that this was not a very well-made movie.

I felt like all the fight scenes in this movie was like watching a theme park stunt show.

It was like they would shoot something and like a giant piece of a balcony would fall off like a gun. And they're like, wait, how would that like? And like a sharply cut-off piece of balcony.

Like no like fray at the edge. Yeah.
Just

like you know that there's a guy at the bottom like, show's over.

It goes right back in the page.

And the guy who's on a wire, who's got like, he's got wings, one of the porcupine boys.

Porcupine boys have

one dude's got a hoverboard. Yeah.
And that shit is nonsense. When Lombert jumps on the hoverboard and starts flying around,

and then he's being chased by Porcupine Boy with wings. Yeah.
They're both moving so slowly.

They're both moving at such slow, deliberate paces. It's

shitty beyond belief.

Now, I'll tell you who was really nervous about that hoverboard scene, Robert Zimecus, because they, Back to Future 2 was not out yet. And they're like, oh, shit.
Oh, no.

So they got real freaked out from Highlander. If Highlander 2 gave us anything, they gave us cooler hoverboards.
Marty McFly would have been on these like

two.

I felt like this is where the watch housekeeper's were like, ooh, I know what we can do in Jupiter Ascending. We'll give him.

Yeah.

We'll give him flying boots. The problem is the board.

Now,

you guys might know this, but when do you think this movie was made? I know when it is, but it doesn't feel like it was made. 2024? 2024?

I'm going to say

1987. Okay.
No, 1990. Got it.

I'm going to price this right at 1991.

1991.

100% identified. But this is crazy because it doesn't feel like these are the movies that were their contemporaries.
Terminator 2

like

Robin Hood Prince of Thieves and Beauty and the Beast like this is like if this feels like I mean maybe it's just the fact that they shot it in Buenos Aires It's like you know, it's like old cameras taking shots taking shots at Buenos Aires weirdly though there's a couple of scenes like the scene with

Sean Connery where he's trying on the suit like that looks I love that scene. I mean genuinely I loved it.
I loved it. It was the best scene.
Because it was also a fun movie. Exactly.

It felt like a movie, and it looked like a movie.

I was like, finally, I understand a character's wants in a scene from beginning to end, and they are unchanged. By the way,

it's not like I know what he wanted at the beginning of that scene, and then a bunch of nonsense happened, and then I don't know where we are now.

The man simply wants a suit. And I also felt like, why didn't they ever make a prank show where Sean Connery just got on stage during Broadway productions and interrupted?

That was my favorite scene.

That was the best. And by the end of it, the audience was on board.
Oh, yeah.

He comes and interrupts the middle of Hamlet, starts making fun of Hamlet, and

he's interrupting a show, and the audience gets on his side.

They start out like this: like, ha ha ha, what, this guy? And then he just bows, and they're like, yeah!

Bravo! That's what's theater!

Why does Sean Connery land

where he lands?

Why, when Christopher Lombert says, I need you, Ramirez, my old friend,

and thus conjures him, why doesn't Sean Connery show up?

Is there something in there that seems to say that the shield bounces him away? Well,

I have a theory. Oh, yeah, okay.

I think it's because he was decapitated in Scotland that he returns

to Scotland. Okay.

I'll take it.

All right. I like that.

The nerds agree.

The odd part of this, when he does appear in Scotland, and this is a screen grab, which if you're listening, you can't see, is everyone's dressed like they're from the 1940s.

Which is also hard to like, oh, so in Scotland, they kind of stopped. Like, they stopped.
They went backwards almost because the shield only went up in 1999.

So they went backwards in time. Yeah, you would think they would be dressed.
Oh, who cares?

One of my favorite scenes in this movie was early on. There's a few of them.
Should we see that Hamlet scene, by the way? Is it worth

just because we have it, and it's one of my, I think it's the best scene in the movie.

Here we go, just real quick.

Alas, poor Yorick.

I knew him, Horatio. Actually, the name is Ramirez.

Will you get out of here? I'm a Spaniard. Excuse me.

A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. Forgive me for interrupting your conversation, but he hath borne me upon his back a thousand times.

Here hung those lips that I have kissed, I know not how oft

Sir Whatever you gentlemen felt for each other when your friend was still alive is certainly none of my affair

What's your fucking game shithead?

Shithead

What's a shithead?

My apologies

Enough of this useless banter.

I shall be on my way and leave you to converse with your scot.

Farewell, dear shithead.

Farewell.

Also, stage manager, very upset.

And also,

good on that actor for watching a man apparatus on stage and then trying to continue the scene. Yes.
Professional. Professional.
And also, when he makes his exit, who's playing the bagpipes?

Well,

by the way. Who's playing the bagpipes for the Spaniard who has appeared on stage?

They play bagpipes in every scene that he is in. That is like his under

he has like a motif. Like it's underneath.
Like, oh, we got to play bagpipes. Remind people.
Very subtle.

And I also feel like there was a point where Sean Connery was like, the reason why he has that scene where he gets in a suit is just because he's like, I'm not wearing this fucking Highlander outfit.

I'm going to work for three days' tops. You're going to pay me $10 million.

And I'm going to wear a nice suit. And guess what? I'm keeping it.

He looks great.

I also just like that Sean Connery is like notorious for picking the wrong movie. He's like, it's amazing.
Like he was supposed to be in Lord of the Rings.

He's like, no, I'll do League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. He was supposed to be in The Matrix.
He's like, no, thank you.

Like he's turned down every good movie and just been like, yep, Highlander 2, where do I sign?

Only

if you make the origin story that we started on another planet and get zapped here, who knows why?

Then I'll do it. That's my Sean Connery impression.
It was great. I liked it.
I think it's pretty good. June,

I interrupted you before we played that scene. Did you have a thought there before? Oh, I was thinking the female characters in this movie are insane.

The woman in the bar in an early.

I am so obsessed with.

It's a performance unlike anything I've ever seen. Yeah.
It was really quite something.

Like so many facets of it.

I always wanted to meet the guy that turned the world to shit. Well, he saved our lives if he asked me.
I'm not asking you.

Okay.

What do you want? Did you ever think about that before you covered the sky with that puke? I work all day and my life stinks and it's your goddamn fault, you old bastard. Don't turn your back on me!

Hey.

There are some people in this world

who know when to stop

and some people who don't.

Which kind are you? Okay, Miss Nobody, you're out of here.

Come on, come on. Come on, come on.
Take it back, no problem. I'm sorry, Mr.
McLeod.

No problem. And then she comes back and he's wild.

I love the runaway.

I love the runaway. I love that she runs away.

Okay, I'm obsessed with her, and I'm also obsessed with the woman on the airplane.

Oh,

obsessed. Also,

also, why does the plane appear to be from the 1940s?

Also, on that plane, why is the instructional video come on halfway through the damn flight also why does it end with a plane crash

why does the safety video for the plane end with the plane crashing

there's a lot of footage of the plane like

of arrowing footage

worse than any airplane disaster movie you've ever seen

used to calm passengers mid-flight mid-flight it is crazy Sean Connery appears to be like, he also is in the air for like days

of movie time. So much happens to Lombert while Connery's in the air.
It's all this movie.

I wanted to ask you guys what he meant by this because they go, would you like some food? They show him some food. And he goes, I won't eat anything.
I can identify. And then

he kind of says,

like, but that's not always the case. Yeah.
To a woman. Yeah, because I can't always identify that puss.

Yeah.

I mean, but that's what it is. And don't get me wrong.
I'll chow down on it,

even if it's an unidentifiable puss.

And those are the lines that got Sean Connery to sexual harassment lawsuits during the filming of this movie over nine days. What?

What are you talking about? Are you saying that that scene in the movie was, he didn't know he was being filmed?

I want to improvise a line just a bit.

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

But yeah, like that was an odd way to come on to a woman because it also,

she's kind of liked it. I mean, loved it.
Oh, yeah. I've never seen a person laugh harder at anything in my life.

You do have to be like, if you turn down putting stuff in your mouth and you want to get with the lady next to you, you do have to assure her that you do indeed put stuff in your mouth.

Today's show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, the holidays can feel like a lot.

Balancing family expectations, travel, and trying to make everything perfect, you know, it's so easy to forget how to take care of yourself in the middle of it all.

That's why BetterHelp is encouraging you to rewrite your traditions this season by making time for you.

That's right, incorporating therapy into your new or existing traditions can help slow you down and take care of yourself during what can be a joyful but sometimes hectic and lonely part of the year.

BetterHelp gives you the space to pause, reflect, and feel more grounded. They match you with a licensed therapist based on your goals and preferences.

And if it's not the right fit, they can switch it at any time.

With over 30,000 therapists and more than 5 million people served, BetterHelp helps people close their year with clarity instead of chaos. This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you.

Our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash bonkers. That's betterhelp.com slash bonkers.

Making progress with finances seems to be an insurmountable task. You do one thing and then there's 10 more things to do.
Will it ever end? Well, here's the thing.

QIIME understands that every dollar counts.

That's why when you set up direct deposit through QIIME, you get access to fee-free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and so much more.

Not to mention, access to over 47,000 fee-free ATMs, more than the top three national banks combined. Work on your financial goals through QIIME today.

Open an account in two minutes at chime.com slash bonkers. That's chime.com slash bonkers.
Chime feels like progress. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank.

Banking services and debit card provided by the Bank Corp Bank, NA, or Stride Bank, NA. Members, FDIC, spot meet eligibility requirements, and overdraft limits apply.

Timing depends on submission of payment file. Fees apply at out of network ATMs.
Bank ranking and number of ATMs according to U.S. News and World Report 2023.
Chime checking account required.

Cold mornings, holiday plans. This is when you need your wardrobe to just work.
Stuff that looks sharp, feels good, and you'll actually reach for.

Quince makes gifting easy when everything's worth keeping for yourself. You see, Quince cuts cuts out the middlemen and the markups, which means premium quality at half the cost of other brands.

So you can give luxury pieces without the luxury price tag. I am now a full-on Quince believer.
You know this. I got this like a roll-up turtleneck.
I think that's what they call it. I don't know.

Trust me, it looks good. But here, don't trust me.
Trust the person I bumped into at an unnamed coffee place this morning. They said, you turn me on to Quince.
They make good shit.

That's a real person.

And I don't think it gets better than an endorsement from that person who looked very stylish. Anyway, get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince.
Don't wait.

Go to quince.com/slash bonkers for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.
That's q-u-in-ce-e.com/slash bonkers, free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com/slash bonkers.

June, did you identify with Louise when she sees the raw masculinity of Christopher Lambert? She

just

ultimately it was just like the same haircut, like making out

and fucking like watching like two people have the same haircut. Do you think that's what was attractive to her? Is she saw herself in his hair? He was just an egotist.
It was like a wild egotist.

She's just a narcissist. She's a super narcissist.
They do not know each other. He

throws her in a dumpster

as an old man,

like a child's magic trick when she comes out of the dumpster he's a young man so she raw dogs him

in the street in the against a wall in the street she's like you were old moments ago i've come out of a dumpster you're young put it inside me now this is by the way

He does it quite quickly. Oh, he just goes for it.
And by the way, they're just making out. And I was like, okay, cool, maybe a make out.
But they are hard making out.

She's making out with his chin and he shoves it in and comes. Yeah.

He just came. We just watched him come.

It was quick.

It was quickening. They're quickening.

Thank you. Thank you, guys.
Guys, guys.

Guys, thank you.

Guys, I'd like to accept my howdy for the. No, you got to wait two and a half, some odd years before the next look comes out.

And here's the thing I'll say on her behalf. First of all, let's not just entirely blame her for this.
I mean,

he completely

attacks her. Okay.
But it does seem like there's an energy to this world where people are just fucking in the streets.

In the opening scene.

But it starts on the opening scene. There's a woman being fucked on a mattress on the street.
That was really disturbing. Disturbing.
Not cool. No, yeah.
I wouldn't say fucked.

I would say being raped, right?

She didn't seem entirely conscious. Yeah.

She didn't seem like a real loving relationship.

She started off real nice. This is like a real, this is like, hey, a great meat cute, as you would call it.
Very Harry Mitt Sally moment. She watched him de-age

decades. And stand out of a fire.
Yes.

And then he'd ask her, who are you? And then they fuck.

She's like, I want some of this. I gotta, you know, oh my gosh.

That isn't, this is a very intense scene because there's, that's the only connection between them.

And then in the next scene, she explains the entire point.

15 seconds. I just counted it.
Oh,

that's 15 seconds of penetration. And he came.
I mean, probably he hasn't fucked in like hundreds of years. But that is.
No, not true, because we do find out that he's had wives and girlfriends.

Yeah, no, no, you're right. You're right.
But that was 15 seconds of sex. At which point,

that's disappointing, I think. Sometimes Highlanders can't hold it back.
And he doesn't apologize. He's not like, my bad.

Give me a minute. I'll go again.

He's proud of himself. Yeah, he's like, I did it.
Yeah. He's like, there could be only one.

The original way.

I just lost that, Jason. I'm a little bit more.
The original way Ramirez came in with his Ramirez, I need your help. And Sean Connery from behind, and it's a very awkward.

That's not the renegade cut.

He's like, I'll help you, Highlander.

I'll eat anything I can't identify.

Seconds later, though, this scene happens, which is, I think, always there are things in these movies.

Title cards, flying skateboards, skateboard scenes, and then a movie, and then this point, which is like probably about 30 minutes in, where they just go, Okay, shit, the audience is lost.

How about this? Oh, amazing.

See if I can get this straight. You're mortal there, but you're immortal here until you kill all the guys from there who have come here,

and then you're mortal here.

Unless you go back there,

or some more guys from there come here,

in which case you become immortal here again,

something like that of course it would be something like that wouldn't it

even he's not sure

I think that was the actress legitimately asking and was being filmed it wasn't yeah they were it was a pre-before they called action

and there's a moment there where he looks down at sides and is like I don't know

that that I mean this whole movie reeks of like additional recording later of like them wide child they're say this as quick as you can Virginia Madison okay so here's the plot uh you came here and I didn't.

There's no, like, that's like, thank God they had that wide shot to shove that all in. Guys, there's so much to talk about.
Oh, go ahead, Sam. Sorry.
Sorry.

My other favorite thing about this scene is that he just got back from being an old man. So now he's a young man.
And he just got home and he's got denim jeans that fit so sweet.

Did they stop at a store on the way home? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, he really got into a naive.

He walked out of the fire dressed like a fashionable young man.

No, he walked out of the fire in the same clothes as the old man, but the clothes didn't burn.

Are the clothes we immortal?

Yeah, the wet. Oh, that's an interesting question.

It's not even like the Hulk. It's not like the Hulk where his clothes are ripped and tattered.
They are completely just hanging on to the picture. Because that makes total sense.
Yeah.

I wanted to also talk about the psychic cooking show. Yes.
Oh, yeah. Oh, it's my favorite part.
That's my favorite cook. Psychic cook.
So what was going on?

Psychic cook and the airplane video are part and parcel of the same thread of insanity that's running through this movie. It's like these two moments of what entertainment is.

So again, we're 25 years under the dome. It's 2024.
And now there is a psychic cook who's calling ghosts and then like cooking next to them as they choke each other. Yeah, that was the thing.

Why is that ghost killing the other ghosts? That's entertainment, baby.

I couldn't figure this out at all. So it's a world in which ghosts exist and can be broadcast over TV.

That's another part of this world. And that's why probably people are fucking this.
And it seems like a very highly regarded show. Yeah.
Huge.

Like, it felt like they were trying to have those moments from RoboCop where, you know,

it's like the commercial for

the car that electrocutes somebody. It's like, oh, that's like a commentary on what things will be like in the future.
This one was just like, eh, also, ghosts are in the future.

You could eat and see them eat, and they're like, see-through.

And planes crash in the videos and trucks.

It's edgy. You get it.

And the subway goes 700 miles an hour

if you just push it fast. You gotta turn the knob.

Why would the subway ever had a gauge that would go?

Why would it be built? Why would the subway be built to even go that fast? It makes no sense.

It's 700 miles an hour.

A man's face explodes off of his skull because of the speed that the subway is effortlessly capable of achieving.

My question is: why didn't Sean Connery take a subway from Scotland to wherever they are? Great. I love, too, that Michael Ironside says to the kid,

You want to see how fast this thing can go? And by the way, real fast is the answer. Really, very fast.
And every single person on that subway dies.

I was like, oh, this is crazy. And then I was like, oh, wow, they're killing everybody.
Children, I mean, everybody's dead on that subway.

Meanwhile, oh, that whole thing, too, wait, is this video or is that just the picture? I have a video of the subway scene. Can you play it, please? Yeah.
Only because.

Only because it happened.

This movie has one of the best

insane visuals to terrible electric guitar scores

combinations of any movie we've ever done. You know, Sam, you brought up that the first movie, the music was done by Queen.
Uh-huh. This movie, the music was done by Stuart Copeland from the yes.

From the police? Yes. Oh, by the way, bad on him.

Because this is terrible. And I love Stuart Copeland.
Yeah, that's what. Okay, here we go.

I thought that mother went after her kid in a very lackluster way.

The baby carriage rolls down and she's like trying to get it. She's like, man, she doesn't cry out like, oh, my baby.
Someone say, stop it. She's like, like, oh, crap.

I'd also like to think if I'm a passenger on the train and not the mother of that child, that I would reach out and just stop it.

Oh, there you go. Save that baby.
Let me help you. Yeah.

What I also love about these actors are all, I mean, Christopher Lambert gives the most grounded performance, I would argue.

Virginia Madison, too, but they were so into the roles that Lambert refused to use fake swords for the fight scenes.

And the the first time they ever gave him a real sword, he cut his finger down to the bone. Oh my God.

And then

Michael Ironside chopped off a part of Lambert's finger.

And then Lambert got his tooth chipped.

And then Michael Ironside dislodged his jaw in a fight scene. And then after that, they were like, okay, you have to use plastic swords.
And they reel,

and then

still, Lambert has terrible eyesight,

so he can't see. And he almost cut off Michael Ironside's thumb.

And basically

his argument was, well, it's hard to do

precision thrusts when you're wielding a 22-pound broadsword.

So that was his.

It was was worth it. It shows in the film.
Can you

Paul? Can you forward to the end of this scene by any chance? Not the very, very end, but like the last 15 seconds, maybe? Yeah, yeah. What do we got?

Okay. I just, okay.

I want to watch

the guy's head explode, and then I want Michael Ironside's final line if we have it. Yeah, hopefully we do.
All right, here we go.

Hey, Michael.

Usually you're getting, oh shit.

Remember it? Fuck. So he comes out,

looks straight down the barrel of the lens, and goes, last stop.

Right? Is that what it was? Hold on. I wrote that, yeah, I wrote it, yeah.
Because everyone's.

Everyone's dead.

But he looks right into camera It's like he's like ha ha ha ha

Last stop

they say things

they they say things sometimes that feel very bizarre in the world like it's like well I wouldn't say that okay especially because I'm and and and Michael Ironsides and Sean Connery

They do a little bit of business with Sean Connery, but they make no effort to have them be like what world am I in? Yeah, you know what I mean like Michael Ironsides just starts driving a train.

He was just zapped here from Zeiss.

Or

the past. Or the past on Zeiss.
I don't know. I had to believe that he's been zapped there before.

I think it's possible. Yeah, I did.

Maybe Zeiss have subway trains.

Maybe he did semester abroad.

But he was at Zeiss U.

But there are some odd, like there are odd moments because then when Sean Connery comes in, he kind of makes some sort of weird reaction to a statue, and Christopher Lambert is like, that's a sculpture.

Well, yeah, I think arguably the one thing you probably did have

was some sort of like sculpture, like stone carving would be the most familiar thing.

That's not new. Yeah, that's a new thing.
It's like, that's a TV. I get.
He's like, oh, what is this odd stone thing of a man?

But then, like, also, like, he's here, and then he sees, like, a bus go by, and he's like, whoops, so much for horsing buggies. And then he's like,

they're very, they're unfaced. You mean, look, John C.
McGinley watches Michael Ironside come in. He's like, you just kill all these people.
He's like, I'm not even moving.

And he's just a businessman. No, he's not just a businessman.
He's the head of SHIELD. Oh, yeah.

And then, doesn't Michael Ironside, I don't even know what Michael Ironside's doing, but he gets a man's face on the table and is like, he's banning his jaw. He's pulling his head open.

His jaw. And you're just hearing like, crack, crick, crack, crick.

I have a real question.

Up until now, none of my questions have been real.

No. Okay, Michael Ironside, Sean Connery, Christopher Lambert, okay? Yes.
They all are from the past.

Also, maybe are from another planet. Yes.
Okay.

Regardless, they find themselves in 2024 on earth yes how do they keep finding each other everywhere they go they are so easily locatable by each other at all times do highlanders know where other highlanders are

it's an app

oh

hang on asshole

wait is that real

Wow, they're drawn to each other.

Drawn to each other. Wow, we, okay.

Okay, then actually, I'm glad you said that because I was really like, this is shitty that they keep showing up and being like, I found you.

When you say they're drawn to each other,

do you mean they have to like sort of put the vibe out there looking for someone or they're just like naturally

well, because I guess their only job is to kill each other, right? Yeah, exactly. I think they were existing.
So they have like a homing beacon to the guy that they're going to fight.

And to win the price.

To die. To die.
So you're dying either way. Yeah, exactly.
You're either going to get your head cut off or you're just going to die. You're going to have to eventually.

Not really a great upside there. How about the fact that when he goes out to fight, Virginia Madsen straight up reads his centuries-old diary? Oh, yeah.
She's like, oh, what's this big book?

Also, like, I'm not a big journal keeper, but like, he's been keeping the same diary for hundreds of years. It's one book.

Does he do like one entry?

Thailanders are thrifty. They get, you know, a moleskin notebook.
But I'm also like, hey, don't look at my diary. Yes, I'm immortal, but like, don't worry about it.

And she's basically like, so there have been other women.

I did appreciate that he has.

Who's this bitch?

I did appreciate he had amazing penmanship, which is it.

It's really going the way of the dodo bird.

People don't have good penmanship anymore.

What about... Was his wife talking to him from beyond the grave, too? When she was all burned up?

Now, if you are sick with UV rays, is that what you look like? I think you're all burned up.

So you've gone outside and you got burned up. You were exposed to the sun is...

This is what I'm assuming because there were so many people. The sun is too powerful and you get all burned up.

And that's why they created the shield to keep the UV rays out, but to plunge us into a dystopian future of darkness.

Wouldn't it have just been better to start the movie with him creating the shield?

When you finally get to the idea that he created this shit. Oh, you mean a shield origin story? Yeah, you're like, you're at least 40 minutes deep.
You're well into it. You know the shield exists.

Yeah. So they're like, oh, here we go.
We're going to turn it on. Like, I know it's on.
Like, yeah, like, the better thing that would have been was like, he's visiting his wife. She's dying.

Then he creates the shield. And then Flash Cup

Or in the middle of the middle of the creation. Oh, oh, I see what you're saying.
So it's like start the movie. That's how you would start it.
That's

what he is. Just, hey, audience, we like you to follow along with us just a tad.

Let's build instead of making it a reveal, which doesn't, the only the reveal is like, oh, it's beginning to make sense. Like, like,

that's what they're revealing. Is just did we miss? Have we even mentioned that

storytelling? Virginia Madsen, Virginia Madsen? Yeah. Yeah.
Is an eco-terrorist.

We have yet to mention her flawless break-in at SHIELD HQ,

which involves some like, or some real nonsense. These people would have been caught instantly.

Everyone is.

You give up

very quickly. And everybody gains access to everything very quickly.
Immediately.

That's all.

I also didn't get, I like legitimately don't get, didn't get, like, when she was out there and she's changing her clothes, she took off her clothes in the street after her amazing espionage mission, and then there was a phone number, and there's a note.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where did that come from? His number, and then that was just it?

Would it save McCloud and his phone number? Yeah, and then she randomly like, I thought you were somebody else, and then that's when all the addresses were. Who gave her that number?

Who gave her that number? And did she call it?

Wait, wait, wait. Curio, who gave her that information? I don't know.
I thought

she found it while she was in the middle of the morning. But I think there was a scene that they cut where she found it during that mission.
I don't know.

Maybe the cab driver gave it to him that cabinets. She's supposed to meet him.
It's an address. It's not a phone number.
Oh, it's right. It's an address.
That's right. But still.

Which would lead me to believe she's coming to the bar to meet him where he is when the porcupine brothers attack.

But why

is she sent to meet with him? Because he created the shield. By whom, though, do we maybe by his partner?

Oh, that old man was sending messages to

somebody, remember? And then, like, John C. McGinnis was like, I see all those messages.
Yeah, that's who they said. They send him to prison then.
Yeah. This is hard.

The audience is doing a lot of work. Those messages that you're talking about are the messages he was just communicating with.

Fuck. Fuck it.

This isn't a good movie. I never, and by the way, just I want to talk about you and I watching this movie together.

You were, I've never, I'm being serious, I've never seen you get this mad at a movie. Really mad.

And feeling like someone was tricking you.

Because you said to me, you're like, do you get it? Do you get it? And I said,

and then at one point I said, yeah, of course.

And you would reply, like, tell me. Tell me.
I was like, well, you know, because it's about,

it's more of a metaphor. It's not necessarily a straight story.
And you're like, what? No, because what angers me about you is that

you then go on, after viewing this, to do tons of research about the movie and understand it. And if I did that research, yeah, I'd understand it too.
But I'm just

with an open heart coming here,

describing my reactions.

Paul, how does that make you feel?

What June just said was how she felt

annoying about that, I guess. So, how does that make you feel to hear that? I guess maybe I need to have more of a talking heart.
I'm so sorry.

But I just looked at the clock.

Should I be here soon?

We're so appreciative that you're here.

Well, obviously, we have a lot of questions, but we've barely tagged the service. Now we're coming to you to answer or to ask us some questions, to answer some questions, to make observations.

We're not going to have answers. You never know.

You never know. You might have a real Highlander head in the house.
All right.

Okay, here we go. Sir, your name, your log line, Highlander 2, the blank, what would you call it? And your question.

Highlander 2,

what?

All right, I like it.

Here's your question. What the hell was happening with Sean Connery and the fan? Like, could he...
Oh,

yeah. Sean Connery

when Sean Connery used the force? And then he just blew up? Yeah. You mean it didn't crush him?

Yeah. No, no, you mean when he used the force.

Well, yes, the force.

But then

he died. He didn't get his head behind him.

But my whole theory about Sean.

For sure.

It was a beheading device. That's the whole point of the device.
But I also thought then, like, as a, just as like a creative type, I was like, why even bring Sean Connery here?

Because the action, if you track Sean Connery's story, it's like he interrupts a play, he gets a suit, he meets Christopher Lambert, and and then he kills himself. Like,

he doesn't do anything.

But he helps get Christopher Lambert into the jail by having the both of them get shot 200 times.

By the way, putting dungeons in the trunk and somehow

makes it out alive. She would be so dead to her.
How did he get that door open? And where did that come from? They slipped from the door they got out of. Magic.
Magic is the answer. Well,

you're asking a lot of great questions, so I'm going to give you this pamphlet of what happened to Lumpy from the Star Wars Christmas special.

So I left some gifts. There's actually, for you three, there's one that relates to the Star Wars Christmas special.

He wants to know what a Wookiee cookie is. So I'm sorry.

We're allowing random bags to just be put on stage. I'm sorry.
Largo staff? What's going on?

Are we just cool with randos leaving bags on stage? What world are we living in? Guys, come on. Also, where's my gift?

all right uh ma'am your name well you would uh subtitle the Highlander 2 movie and can you point out anything that you've left on stage

so first of all what's your name Jennifer Jennifer Highlander 2 the sex too fast

all right you're

too fair I was just wondering in the scene where Sean Connery goes to the the shop to get his clothes if anybody thought of pretty woman at that point 1000%.

Yes, but only because I'm always thinking about Pretty Woman.

Also, like, why was. I thought Sean Connery might say big mistake.

It's not in the renegade version, but it's in one of the others.

Also, why was the main guy being such a dick about that tart, that

Scottish print? And he was like, no, but like, well, you don't know what he likes it or not. You know why?

Because the other guy kept trying to put Scottish stuff on him, and he knew that he was a Spaniard.

He

follow him around all the time here's something for you this is a a little graphic design from someone called Hanksy he's like banksy but with pop culture Hanksy

all right yes yes your name your title and your question here we go what's your name my name is Shane Shane Highlander 2 the

there should have only been one okay great your question

okay so did you guys notice that when he goes to the bar and the bartender knows him, they cheer to a drink, he's drinking whiskey, the bartender, for some reason, is drinking a tall glass of milk.

And they live in a world where the,

I don't know if they said in the movie, but I read that it's 99 degrees outside at all times. So he's drinking a tall glass of milk on a hot day.

Gross. And what's even crazier is I heard it was breast milk.

Because that's what everybody's into in 2024.

Boob juice. And they were.

I had a terrible joke. I'm not going to say anything.

This is, that's a great observation. A lot of research went into that.

And you get this notebook that is using the VHS cover of Masters of the Universe done by this guy on Facebook called facebook.com slash pieceofwork. W-E-R-K.
Yes. Your name,

your subtitle, and your question. What's your name? Kevin, and it's Highlander 2 who writes this shit.
Great, love it.

Apparently, by the way, an Argentinian financial company who, when the movie started going over budget, they started giving script notes. Anyway, here is...
Oh, that's amazing.

Now, there's really only one Highlander. That's Connor McLeod.
Everybody else is just immortal. He's the Highlander because he's from the Scottish Highlands, right?

You tell me, bro.

Like a Dracula. You're speaking more authoritatively than I am.

If you say so.

No, but you know, when Sam was describing it, I assumed that they're all Highlanders and they just battle until there's one left. But then why does Sean Connery call him Highlander?

But what was Sean Connery? What's Sean Connery? Sean Connery was actually Egyptian by way of Spain. Wait, Sean.
Did you hear this?

Yeah.

Yeah. This is crazy because the only Scottish person in the world.
Everybody shut up and then he played a Spaniard.

So the only Scottish person in the movie played a Spaniard or an Egyptian, by the way, of Spain. So he's a Highlander.
So what makes Christopher Lambert special?

Not his acting. I'll tell you what.
Whoa.

Wow.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Christopher Lambert.

He's over there crying. He's not coming out.

He's so upset at you. He's hurt.
Oh, he's not coming out.

He's really sad.

Wow.

You guys, you would have had

action with Christopher Lambert if it hadn't been for that guy.

There you go. Wow, Chris, Chris.
Oh, Chris, no. Chris, Chris, no, no.
No, don't. No, boy.
Does anyone taking his shit?

Not backstage.

It doesn't hurt him. It just hurts us.
All right. Does anyone understand the Highlander a little bit more that we could kind of pick your brain? You do.
Okay, that was a very authoritative hand raise.

Because I do want to understand. By the way, is it Highlander or Highlander? And

and

is it Toyota based on that?

So are you driving?

When you drive a Highlander, is it impenetrable?

I'm immortal!

It goes 700 miles an hour!

Hey, was that just another Highlander? Shit, there can be only one.

Remove the engine.

They never went for that tie-in, 10. Did you get it?

Another nerd battle of Highlanders on the 101.

All right, so you have some Highlander now. Sorry.

Yeah, I'm going to go back and kind of finish what the prize is. So not only is it, because mortals are sterile, so he's not going to be sterile anymore, but he's also going to...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm going to ask you to not gloss gloss over that fellow.

Mortals are sterile.

He's upset because immortals are immortals. Immortals are.
Immortals are. And he's upset in the first one because he has a wife and she can't get pregnant and it's his fault because he's immortal.

So, anyway, the prize, he becomes mortal, but also he gets to hear the thoughts and become one with nature and hear the thoughts of everybody.

So, my whole problem with the second movie is: how does he not know that people are misusing what he's trying to do? And anyway, so that just bothers me the whole time.

So,

upon gaining mortality,

he can just get his wife pregnant?

Well, he can become fertile, but he can also hear everything. Yeah.
Got it. So at the end of the movie, the prize is he's going to know everything going on.

Like he can hear the thoughts and everybody, and he's supposed to help bring humanity together. Got it.
So he's like Professor X. Yes.

Without the room. Without Cerebro.
Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. And he can walk, as is pointed out here.

But then he doesn't have a baby and can walk. Hey, dick move, bro.

Thanks for the explainer, but you don't have to take Professor X to task

for being in a wheelchair, bro.

Yes, you have a good question here. Come here.

And I always like when someone pimps out one of their friends. Here we go.

Your name, your subtitle, and your question. My name is Jenny.
It is Highlander 2, The Confusing. Ooh, I like that.

And I want to know where Sean Connery gets his wham, his walking around money, because I know that he traded

shopping. Right, no, but that earring is definitely not worth, at best, 500 bucks, right?

Not nearly as much as that suit. And then he gets on a plane.
How did he get to the plane? How did he get that suit? I agree.

How's Michael Ironside doing all the same stuff? I agree. That is a 400 or 500-year-old earring, though.

How much? It does go up in value every hundred years. And it might be like, so is it a cash? Is it a cash back thing? Does he give that earring to the suit player?

It's like, well, I guess we'll pay you $2,000 extra.

Does he take the earring and put it in the cash register? Yeah.

And is he like

a system in 2024?

Yeah, but then you'd have to get a cash back at a certain point because that would cut that earring up in half. That's right, like shave it.

This is a tough question. You know what? This is the part of the movie that makes no sense.

And that's a bummer because up until now everything has added up for me. But that's a hole that I feel like they didn't address.
By the way, yeah, where did Sean Connery get his wham? Yeah.

We didn't even think about that.

And it sucks because you loved it, and now your mind's going to go there. Yeah, now the movie's kind of ruined for me.
Thanks a lot.

Wait, is wham a thing? I know. Is wham a thing? I love it.

Raise your hand if you've heard wham before for walking around money. Everybody in her row.
Small group friends. Her three friends raise their hands.
That's just what.

I was just making sure I'm not insane. Yeah, so

you're not gonna say wham is not a thing. You should stop saying it.

She's trying to get it out there.

Trying to get it out. I want to come to you guys.
You both are wearing the same sweatshirt, right? Oh my gosh, this is great there.

It's a the room, not the Brie Larson movie, but the Tommy Wizzo movie.

And it's a Christmas sweater that says, you're tearing me apart, Lisa, but it's a Christmas,

like a Christmas-decorated room sweater. It's awesome.
I'll talk to both of you. Your name, your subtitle, and your question.
My name is Bree, Highlander 2. Let's get Zeisty.

Like it.

So there's this part where Christopher Lambert goes to see his former partner at the Shield office where there's a lot of industrial fans happening.

And this computer screen is like the see-through thing.

And John McKinley walks in the room and they're acting like super secret, like he can't actually just see what's on the screen. And also, John C.

McKinley doesn't say a word about the fact that fucking Christopher Lambert, who started this company, is young. Yeah.
And not

barely in his partner. His partner is like, you look great.
What did you do? A facelift? He was like, something like that.

If by a facelift, you mean I murdered two immortals,

through the quickening,

gained my immortality back. raw dogged this lady.

Well, now at least we know he can do that without the fear of impregnating her and I have yeah and it makes that part of the movie a lot more palatable to me and now I'm here talking to you old dude

I'm also gonna give you a little piece of work for that and now your your

your name your title and your question

name's Jim

Highlander 2 the free men of Zeist the what the free people of Zeist okay got it love it

so this movie with Michael Ion's side his henchmen actually tell him what the plot hole of the whole fucking movie is before he starts anything in the Renegade cut.

And he's just like, no, no, it's fine. Like, the Porcupine men literally say, if you send us back in time, he's going to be in Molto again.
You could just wait a couple years and he can die. Yes.

So the whole movie doesn't matter. Oh, but

the priests say that

he could still choose to come back to Zeiss.

Oh, God.

Yeah, you're right. You're right.
But I guess what I took away from that, and again, I don't know a ton about Highlanders, but

Jim, you don't.

Even having now watched it.

But what I took away from that was this idea of there can only be one, and if he were to die, he would be the one, right?

Yeah, but so that's why he went.

How many, yeah.

So they don't know. I don't know if they keep on popping up.
Is Highlander? Okay, now I have a question. Is Highlander a thing

that

throughout time there is always a Highlander? Or is he the Highlander because he's from the Highlands, and as a result, what became the Highlander was... Yes? Yeah, that was like his...

Okay, okay, hey, guy.

Hey, bud. Love.
Hey, bud. Hey, fella.

Don't shut up. The producer of the movie is here, and he is.

Christopher Lombert?

Okay, hold on one second. I'm done.
Everybody shut up. I'm just drunk a shit.
And now.

everybody shut up except for the loudmouth. Loudmouth, explain it very concisely.
Wait, wait, but I got to go to the next one. I also really

care

like 10 times. Yeah.
But I'm curious to hear it again. Okay, because he's over there, Paul.
He's on the other side. He's that asshole.
I'm going to go around.

Going around, going around. Most exercise I've gotten in weeks.
Here we go.

All right. Here we go.
I'll hold the mic.

So he's the Highlander because he's from the Highlands. Everyone.
Talk to us like we're idiots. Yeah, man.

Hey, hey. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.

Here's what's not happening. Here's what's not happening.
We don't come bring the mic to you after you scream from the audience for you to condescend to me.

I'm sorry. Wow.
I'm sorry.

June threw down her notebook in disgust.

What? Every member of the stage just got up to fight you.

I want everybody to get a look at this guy

so that we know who the asshole is. All right.
So

watch your tone and explain this movie to us. All right, here we go.

So the immortals

are like capacitors. They contain energy from the universe.

And when they kill each other by beheading each other, they gain the energy of the person they beheaded until there's only one and he contains all of the leftover energy, which is the prize, which he gets to die.

Wait, so the immortals, though, are not Highlanders, but the but the Highlander is immortal. Yes.

Okay, so can I ask you this? If in the first movie, and I don't know the first movie, obviously I didn't see it. If Sean Connery had killed everybody, would the movie be called The Spaniard?

Because he's from

the Egyptian.

Because he's from Egypt and then went to Japan and then went to Spain and then went to Scotland.

I legitimately hate you.

But

June.

But I thank you for your service.

So it all comes down to this for me.

Now give me a howdy

never

June now it all comes down to this is what I'll say to you and I want to ask you in all honesty

do you have a better idea of what a street fighter is or what a Highlander is

who's been a you know what I think Highlander

so you know what a Highlander is I think so I think I have a pretty good idea want to hit it back no no I don't I don't but I think I have a good idea

And we're going to leave it at that. So there can be only one

refers to only one immortal, not only one Highlander.

That makes a lot more sense. That's huge.
Because the movie is... That's huge.
I think, yeah, the idea that there could be a movie called The Spaniard is helpful. Yeah, I think that makes sense.

And I wish it hadn't been delivered how it was delivered. Yeah.

Me too. Yeah.
Me too. But residual reservoirs.
But I am grateful for the information.

Well,

we can talk about the Highlander all day, and we can talk about the Spaniard all night, but there are some people out there that have a different opinion about it than we do.

It is now time for second opinions.

The movie was a piece of shit.

Yet this person recommends it.

Tell me what is the

That is John LeJois.

The very funny, the very talented John LeJois. If you've not seen that, he's got a fantastic record.
Yes. Go buy it on iTunes.
It's really, really great.

So, John LeJois, thank you so much for your second opinions. Theme.
And these are five-star reviews called from Amazon. Not many,

not even many one-star reviews. Seemed like people passed this one and the reviewing matrix, they were like, not gonna even spend the time, but I do have a few.

This one is from Kevin Gandy, written on January 31st, my birthday, 2015.

Wrote simply, just what my child wanted: five stars

To be disappointed.

This one. Just what my child wanted.
I am a divorced dad.

I don't understand my son.

This is written by Lon Sugara, and this is a tough one

to make sense of. So it's not me.
It's Lon.

My fantasies get tickles by the dream.

The truth about physics is revealed just by watching movies and playing games and eating good food and experiencing different things and hanging around girls.

It's really just an oxymoron for just about everyone's cover-up of shit.

Five stars. Wow.

Like, that's either that's either really profound

or it's a bot.

I don't know.

We now go deeper into the pit. We go into third opinions.
These are where we just see what people gave it, the one-star review. This one is titled, What a Horrible Movie, dot, dot, dot.

And it says, I am just confused by this plot. Did anyone read this and say, hey, this makes no sense?

One star.

So that is the second opinions there. Blake J.
Harris will probably go deep with someone to talk about this film. You can find his articles on slash film.com.

I love doing the show. I love finding out different things.
And this is something that I thought was well worth it.

I have two things before we kind of wrap up. One is, well, I'll do this first.
One is how the movie could have ended. These are the three different endings on the three different things.

The fairy tale ending.

Louise and Connor return magically to Zeist, embrace in front of a field of stars, they transform into light and fly into space.

That is one ending.

Okay?

The,

okay, this is. Like all fairy tales.

There's a British version, which is 10 minutes longer, and it's closer to the original script, and it includes flashbacks and an alternate ending. They don't get more of that.

And then the Renegade version, which is one that we've watched, is all references to the planet Zeist and them being aliens are removed. And

a lot of people think this is the best one because it doesn't severely

change the canon. It doesn't like because basically, when they become aliens, it basically takes away everything that people have done.
I see.

And then

they

tried to make a Highlander TV show,

and so Lambert declined to reprise his role.

So they created a new character called Duncan McLeod, who was also the Highlander. But then Lambert came back in and was in the show.

So that kind of confused the mythology again to have two Highlanders. And then another Highlander movie called Highlander 3 the Sorcerer came in, and I don't know what happened there.

But this is kind of my favorite part of the entire thing. This is

Roger Ebert trying to explain the plot of this movie.

And

I'll just start it about here because he talks some shit at the top. But all right, here we go.

Highlander 2, The Quickening. The plot of Highlander 2, The Quickening, is one of the most hilariously incomprehensible experiences I've had in a long time.

The immortals from the planet Zeist who are caught in a time warp of their own involving the fact that they got oriented in Scotland 500 years ago plus events in the year 1999 and more events in the year 2025 plus the cartel plus the ozone shield plus the mysterious killer plus the beautiful independent scientist who exposes the secret of the ozone

him trying to put together the movie and I think he does the best version of it and that version he said mysterious killer Is there a mysterious killer?

Wait. Is that Michael Ironside? I guess he's not that mysterious.

All right, well, going around the horn,

does anyone recommend this movie? Would you say watch it? I mean, obviously, not for quality.

You know,

this is not the la-la-land of the season, or, you know, but it's like, would you say it's enjoyable enough? No. No.
You'll say no. It fucked me up.
It fucked me up.

I'm still like, I can't

think.

I feel the same. I felt like, I feel like the way maybe someone that was coming over to the new world would feel when they saw the Statue of Liberty.
But when they got off the boat, it was like now.

And it was like they came from the 1920s. Like, what?

It's so much information. It broke me.
This movie broke me. It also is so convoluted that it's hard to enjoy on a like stupid level.
Yeah.

You know, like, because I find myself continuously just trying to be like, wait,

what's actually actually happening? We're a group of

people who are not enjoying the nonsense. We're in a room of 200 people, and we're just about cracking some elements on it.
Right, yeah. Right, but we're also like, we do this a lot.

And I was still confounded by it. Anyway, so it wasn't as fun as I wanted it to be.
But there's some like true nonsense that's pretty enjoyable, but not worth it. Yeah, not worth it.
Not worth it.

All right, let's talk about this. So, Sam, you have a new show coming out on Comedy Central.
We do. It's called The Detroiters.
Tell us a little bit about it.

It comes out on Comedy Central February 7th. It's about two ad men who make local, cheap local commercials in Detroit.
It stars me and a buddy named Tim Robinson.

And watch it. It'll be on TV.
Yeah. It's great.
Yeah.

Everything I've seen from it so far looks really, really awesome.

June, what do you want to talk about?

Nothing. I'll just

plug two podcasts that I really love, Bitch Sesh

and

OMFG. Also on Earwolf.
All right. Thanks, Jason.

I'll just say, you know, it's January now. It's 2017.
We're living in a new world. Yeah.
But, like, if you haven't caught up with it, like, why not watch the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix?

Don't worry about it. June and I have just started the Gilmore Girls, and we're powering through season one right now.
Ooh, it's great. Love it.
It's really good.

It's only going to get better, and then it's going to get real bad for a minute.

And then it's going to get real good. Kind of like that moment when, like, in Friday Night Lights, when, like, when they killed,

oh, yeah. Yeah, when they killed that guy.
Yeah, I was like, wait a second. And then everybody was like, JK, J.K., that didn't happen.

Sorry, sorry, football, football, football, football.

Well, just... Clear eyes, Full Hearts can't lose.
Except we murdered someone, right?

Are we murderers? And the tornado wipes it away she's having sex with a teacher not cool

so

you can sign up for the how this get made mailing list you can find out about shows in your area because we'll have all sorts of cool mailing lists a big thank you to everybody who makes this show possible a mirror zeitz who helps us put this live show together everybody at earwolf uh aver howey for cutting together these amazing clips watching a highlander 2 documentary

not only did she sit through highlander 2 the quickening she sat through a documentary about Highlander to the Quickening. So thank you to her.
Thank you to Nate Kylie for doing this amazing research.

And thank you to all these people here at Largo. We appreciate you.
We thank you.

And we'll see you next time.

Moffie night hits different when you plan it with Fandango. Open the app, find what's playing, and grab your seats in seconds.
No lines, no stress.

Whether you're meeting up with friends or flying solo, Fandango makes last-minute plans feel effortless. Plus, with Fan Club, you'll save every time you go to the theater.

Download the Fandango app and make movie night happen anytime, anywhere. When a child is in the hospital, family does whatever it takes to stay.

At Ronald McDonald's house, we give them a community of support, warm meals, and a place to rest. Because when a child is in the fight of their lives, family stays.

And Ronald McDonald's house stays with them.